Fire or Ice
by Silverfox1
Summary: Sequel to BON; Jesse's time on Ishara is not yet up, but Outrider politics have always been unpredictable and another war starts quite unexpectedly ... at least for Jesse.
1. Prologue

Disclaimer 1: This is fanfic. That means I do not own any of it. I just borrow it to play with for a little while and let people see the pathetic results if they really want to.

Disclaimer 2: I'm not making any money from it. It's just for fun.

Disclaimer 3: What isn't borrowed is all made up. None of this is real or most likely at all realistic. Please don't trust any of the information in here. Most likely you know more about whatever I'm writing about than I do.

Disclaimer 4: Attitudes, views and opinions expressed by the characters or in the story are not necessarily those of the author. Even when writing Science Fiction or Fantasy I do not tend to attempt to create perfect/better worlds in which everybody gets a happy end ... or whatever is best for them. Please accept that some characters will have a bad ending or be unhappy.

Prologue

-Well, there isn't much going on on the Warworld. At least that I'd know of. I'm on holiday right now, so I don't have the latest news, but I can tell you that it's practically deserted anyway. Pretty much everybody is here on Rukkat. It's quite an interesting world. You should visit it someday. Nice and sunny.-

Jesse snarled and gave the holo-projector a half-hearted kick, then pulled his leg back into his cocoon of blankets quickly. The room temperature was still somewhere above 10°C. There was a radiator that still achieved half it's nominal heat-output, but it felt freezing cold.

The projector responded with a fizzing sound that did nothing to help Jesse's pounding headache either and then Commander Razzle's smirking face disappeared.

Jesse cursed. So much for getting any news from home. Razzle's holo-messages might be full of annoying jabs, but they were the only real source of information he had besides the official news and office gossip.

He'd have to get the projector working again somehow so he could record a reply that didn't give away just how miserable he actually felt and would prompt Razzle to write again, preferably with more information.

He sighed, freed his arms from the blankets, pulled the projector closer and hesitated only one moment before starting to dismantle it. It probably wouldn't ever work again anyway and there was nobody on this gods-forsaken planet that was any more qualified to perform repairs than he was - and that was saying something, because while Jesse had picked up a few basics of Outrider technology maintenance from Razzle he was far from even remotely understanding how any of it actually worked.

Perhaps he could talk Lord Rjzen into lending him a working projector? Somewhere within the wide spectrum of what they called working here in any case? Every piece of technology on Ishara was either broken or about to break from lack of maintenance, but since nobody had the skills to fix anything they had to make due with what they had.

-Dear Razzle,- Jesse hissed at the projector while he groped around inside it and randomly poked at various parts to see whether anything came loose or felt blocked. -Thank you for the kind invitation to Rukkat. You in turn really should visit Ishara, and preferably soon. The place is just perfect for you, you couldn't possibly get bored even if you stayed several years because Absolutely. Every. Thing. Is. Broken.-

He hit the wall with his fist at every word. That hurt both his hand and his head, but at least the projector couldn't suffer any further harm from it.

-Another device give in?- Lord Rjzen's head was poking through the door that led from the staff dorm to the office.

-Holo-projector.- Jesse confirmed. -And I really ought to reply to this message, too.-

Rjzen nodded understandingly. -Your clan aren't much good at writing, eh?-

Jesse stiffened. He hadn't actually gotten a single message from his clan the whole time he'd been here. His siblings had written, of course, but while that was cute and very sweet of them it hardly qualified as official mail from the clan. They were only kids, after all. Well, Cozz wasn't a kid. He was a married man in fact and Jesse supposed that announcement of the birth of one's first nephew did come under the heading of clan news, but it wasn't exactly world-shaking.

Razzle was the only one with any proper understanding of political and military affairs who ever seemed to remember him long enough to record a holo-message and that was just to taunt him. Or maybe not. Razzle was good at reading other people and hard to read himself, but Jesse vaguely suspected that deep down he was a lot kinder than he let on. Very deep down.

Even the all-knowing Razzle seemed to assume that he had other proper correspondents, though.

-Whatever gave you that idea?-

-I see the incoming mail. Seriously, we've rarely had anyone here that got less mail from home than you do and some of the guys ... well, you've probably heard more of their life stories than I have.-

Jesse shrugged. He'd rather not compare himself to the dead-end runaway street kids, washed up junkies and homeless pirate gang members that worked in the mines. Not even in his own thoughts.

-My Afrar and dear old Commander Laxus are probably the most lazy people in the universe.- He continued the topic of mail instead. -I suspect recording a message smells like work to them. And I've pissed off everybody I know on the Warworld. Guess that's not much of an incentive to write.-

He had half expected some sign of life from Irzhe, maybe even cousin Monica, Laxus' half-fleshling daughter who still longed for her old home and clung to him for the mere reason that he understood her favourite language. Could they all be dead?

But no, Irzhe and Monica hadn't even been on the Warworld during the battle of Yuma. Besides, even Cain would probably have found the death of her mother worth a mention or two.

-I s'pose they're too ashamed of me.-

He realised too late that he'd said it out loud.

To his surprise Rjzen came in and sat on an unoccupied bed causing a cloud of dust to rise. -Your friends on the Warworld? They're probably too busy settling Rukkat, you know. It must be quite exciting and hectic over there. Just imagine finally having a home again after such a long time. Most likely it's all topsy-turvy and they've forgotten everybody else as well.-

Which was obviously why they hadn't written before Commander Ettar had unexpectedly conquered and secured Rukkat and thus finally achieved what they'd all been so desperately trying to do for decades. Fucking Ettar! And Jesse had been freezing his ass off on Ishara composing duty rosters for mine workers, confirming bills of loading and trying to drown his memories and nightmares. Funnily enough it worked on the nightmares, but not the memories. He'd expected it to be the other way around when he'd first decided to try alcohol. Still, no dreams when you passed out drunk, no waking up the entire dorm screaming in the middle of the night. His dorm-mates called it a success.

No, Jesse knew why he hadn't received mail from friends, on the Warworld or elsewhere. It was because he didn't have any friends. He'd trained himself not to say that out loud anymore after hearing the reaction of the psychologist at the trial, though. He was perfectly fine, dammit. He did not need a shrink!

-I meant the rest of my family, actually. Almost all the mail I got came from the Warworld. Not this one, though. - He nodded towards the projector. -That's actually from Rukkat. Nice and sunny the old Bastard says.- He gave Rjzen a mock pathetic look. -I'm cold now.-

Rjzen laughed. Complaining about the cold was considered a running joke around here. Jesse supposed the only options were to either laugh or cry about it.

-Hey, a few more months and you'll be able to go and check on them in person. Your home-world's quite pleasant, too, I've heard. Remember us when you're enjoying the sunshine.-

All of a sudden Jesse remembered the feeling of blue moss under his feet, a slight breeze in his face, blue-barked trees and white stone buildings with blue ivy creeping up the walls. What was this? He'd only visited the place twice! It wasn't home. He shoved the thoughts away along with those of dark, narrow streets between tall black buildings erupting into flames, children screaming, walls toppling over as the Warworld's central computer died.

-I don't know. Maybe I'll just go straight to the Warworld instead. I'll get there faster and most of my siblings are at the academy there. I miss the kids the most, I think.-

It wasn't quite true. Actually the one he thought of the most was Jean Claude, but that was a hopeless cause. He couldn't approach him or any of his family after what he'd done to them.

Rjzen nodded understandingly. He was very close to his two brothers Jesse knew.

-So are you coming over for dinner, then? I hear Rissa's coming. We could have some music and dancing afterwards.-

Jesse smiled. He probably wasn't much of a dancer, but once he was drunk enough he no longer cared whether he made a fool of himself and Rissa was awfully attractive for an utterly undisciplined pirate queen old enough to be his mother.

-Let me use your holo-projector in the morning?- He wheedled. -Else I'll have to stay and try to fix this one now.-

Rjzen laughed. -Like you'll be in any condition to record a message before lunchtime. But sure, you can use it. It only shows black and white, but recordings do show colour if you view them on another projector. They've got wandering stripes, though, and the sound's somehow off.-

Well, Razzle would have to live with that. It'd probably drive him up a wall that he knew exactly what was wrong with the projector, but was too far away to fix it. Jesse smirked. Just the comeback for the nice and sunny comment.

Once he'd overcome his initial feelings of awkwardness at sharing meals with the man he had then thought of as his jailer Jesse had become quite fond of visiting Lord Rjzen's home.

The house was nothing much compared to his own clan's home on Varen. It didn't even measure up too well next to clan Elhessar's temporary home on the War World. The food was no better than that served in the company mess either, but the place was warmer, had better alcohol and not everybody there had a criminal record. Sometimes while there Jesse almost forgot what he was and felt proud again.

All the invited guests still were criminals, though. Rjzen and his clan were the only voluntary inhabitants of the ice world and they were common miners and smiths. And Jesse, despite all he'd done, was a noble and a Commander, which apparently entitled him to very respectful treatment in their eyes. Not that the commoners sent to work in the mines were treated at all roughly. Jesse supposed it would be too lonely living here all your life if you refused the society of criminals. No tourists ever stopped by on Ishara.

Most of the time everybody pretended that they were all voluntary co-workers. Rjzen was the boss and head of his clan, but to Jesse and the other office staff that meant little and he was usually included in all their jokes, pranks and gossip just like any other employee.

-Oh, stop always talking about leaving us.- Rissa leaned across the table to Jesse pouting seductively and displaying her ample breasts. -My bed would feel cold and lonely every time I remember all the things we did there.-

Jesse couldn't help admiring the view. Had there really been a time when he'd considered green an unattractive skin colour?

He knew only too well how Rissa coped when he wasn't available. The Fleshling custom of having sex in bed was quite the novelty among Outriders and had been an instant hit on Ishara. And it certainly hadn't been all his doing. He wouldn't be made a fool of ... at least not until he was a little more drunk than right now.

-I'm sure you'd find someone to warm it for you.-

-Boss! Boss! Oh guys, you're not going to believe this!- Pinthar, a pickpocket from a minor noble house on Eshar rushed into the dining room looking unusually excited. -There's an unscheduled ship requesting permission to land. Of a noble house no less and flying all its colours real important like.-

Dead silence fell over the room. In all the time Jesse had been here only prisoner transports, scheduled supply ships and traders' freighters had ever stopped on Ishara. All of them had come announced and out of necessity and not a single one had stayed an hour longer than it absolutely had to.

-Well.- Jesse said finally. -If they are showing colours, which house are they?-

Or was it too much to expect of Pinthar to recognise the unique symbols of every clan? Jesse himself only knew the most important, but then he hadn't lived in the vapour zone all his life. Would it be too embarrassing if neither Pinthar nor he could identify this house?

Pinthar's eyes went even wider. -Elhessar.- He breathed.

Jesse gaped at him. -Elhessar?-

Well, he certainly wouldn't have had any trouble recognising that house either.

-Whatever do they want here?- Rjzen asked. -And with so much pomp at that.-

-Oh, that's not surprising.- Rissa threw in. -They're real show-offs.-

-Not Jean Claude.- Jesse countered without thinking. -He's more likely to sneak up on you. Kitty-cat maybe. I heard he tried to intimidate the jury before my trial.-

-Kitty-cat?- Rissa asked in a slightly sarcastic tone that seemed oddly familiar, but Jesse had no idea whom it reminded him of and it didn't matter either.

-My personal nickname for Istar.-

He probably ought to reconsider calling him that, though.

-Well, we can't leave them hanging there.- Rjzen decided. -Pinthar, give them permission to land. Jesse, make yourself scarce until we know what they want. Inspect the kitchen or something. I'm sure something needs repairing or restocking. The rest of you, come with me and try not to look too shabby. They'll probably expect a proper delegation to meet them.-

Rissa grinned her dangerous mischief grin. -Oho, this will be fun. I'll delegate The Devil something alright. Always wanted to go a round or two with him.-

For Rissa's own sake Jesse hoped that she meant sex rather than battle. No matter how good she was the weapons master of house Elhessar was invincible in hand-to-hand combat. He even taught the subject at the Warrior Academy. And he loved hurting people.

The thought of the Warrior Academy gave Jesse pause, though. It was nearing the end of a term right now, wasn't it? Could and would Istar of all people leave his students in less expert hands at grading time just to kill Jesse, when he could just as easily have come during the holidays?

But if this wasn't Istar come to kill him, then who and why? Jean Claude to talk things over and offer him a chance to redeem himself? The thought was too good to be true and besides, why should Jean Claude borrow a clan owned ship and blaze in flaunting the family colours? He'd prefer his own sleek stealth ship and didn't need Afrar Irozz's permission to use it either.

-Oh Jesse?- Rissa was leaning in the door of the kitchen when Jesse looked up from the box of spoons he was pretending to count. -One Irstz Sorasz Elhessar to see you. Says he only wants to talk and maybe offer you a lift, if Rjzen doesn't mind letting you leave tomorrow. Claims old Bucket-face won't care.-

-Irstz?- Now what could Elhessar house's master of ceremonies want with him? -The schemer?-

-Funny,- Rissa laughed. -That's what my brother calls him, too. Guess there must be something to it. My dear brother also says Irstz is pretty harmless for a Cat-of-War, not much one for killing or maiming.- She shrugged. -You can probably rely on that. My dear brother always had a good nose for people. Of course, it's been a while since I've heard from him. Maybe I ought to have given him my address or something?-

In any case it coincided with Jesse's own assessment of Irstz. It wasn't that he couldn't probably kill you just as quickly and easily as Istar could, just that he'd think long and hard about it first and most likely come up with reasons why you might still be useful alive. There were a lot less important clan members Irozz could send to kill someone, if that was all he wanted done, people who'd actually enjoy, or at least not mind, performing the task.

Jesse slipped a kitchen knife into his sleeve, wondered vaguely whether he was sober enough to use it if he had to, thought longingly of the sleek throwing knife he'd bought at Istar's recommendation what seemed like a lifetime ago and went to see the schemer.

Irstz wasn't hard to find. He'd made himself at home in Rjzen's office, the warmest room in the building.

-Don't you have a cleaning crew?- He asked when he heard the door slide open.

Had he been expecting Rjzen?

-You'll have to take that up with Skuz.- Jesse told him. -Usually this is the one place on the base they do clean properly, though.-

-Ah, and who would I need to talk to to get the second radiator repaired?-

-Nobody.- Jesse admitted. -If any of us knew how we'd already have done it.-

-How delightful.- Irstz frowned. -Oh well, I'll survive for one night, I suppose. I did cope with worse in my active time, but it's been a while.-

Jesse leaned against the wall, but resisted the temptation to fold his arms, he didn't want to appear too defensive and Irstz might guess the presence of the knife.

-I owe you an apology.- He said. -For something inexcusable. All I can say for myself is that I intended no harm to anyone. Quite the opposite in fact.-

His hands were shaking. Was it nervousness or the alcohol? Which one would he even prefer?

Irstz's eyes closed in a pained grimace, but only for a moment before he had himself under control again.

-You made a terrible mistake.- He said. -And the consequences are painful for us both to think about. Let us not dwell on them. Just remember that you owe a debt to our surviving children now. They deserve your special protection.-

-That goes without saying.-

Why was Irstz letting him off the hook without even a hint of a threat? Obviously, if they expected an advantage for their children from his sponsorship, they did not intend to kill him anytime soon. Or at least Irstz didn't. He was the one most likely to find excuses to keep people alive after all.

Maybe he could relax concerning Irozz's intentions as well. The brothers had probably discussed the issue. That didn't mean that Istar had agreed to anything, though.

If only he knew who the victims in house Elhessar had been, but he didn't want to provoke Irstz after he'd declared his wish not to talk about it.

-I have not come here in my own name, but in that of Afrar Irozz.-

Jesse bowed his head in acknowledgement and respect.

-My esteemed brother bade me remind you that you still owe him a favour and to inform you that he has made up his mind what it is to be.-

That came like a kick in the gut. Somehow he had assumed that Irozz would no longer bother with the favour Jesse had promised him in return for house Elhessar taking in his little sister Cain when she'd been stranded on the Warworld with nowhere to go.

Back then even Jesse himself hadn't seen what of even remotely appropriate value he might do for a clan as powerful as Elhessar. And since then he had accidentally killed some of their children. There was no way he could refuse them anything now. No matter what Irozz asked of him, he had to find a way to do it. There had been a time when he'd thought that he could do anything.

-How can I serve Afrar Irozz?-

Irstz's eyes flashed to meet his for a moment. Had he expected a more cautious answer? Or did he consider it inappropriate for Jesse to answer with a formula more commonly heard from commoners?

-By ... well, I don't suppose you've heard, yet, but we are facing another war. A civil war.-

-The colony lords.- Jesse remembered. -They were content to sit back and wait while the old blood clans were slowly fading away on the Warworld. The move to Rukkat will allow you to recover, though, and all the colony lords' patience has been in vain. You expect them to strike now before there is any time for you to gain strength.-

Irstz shook his head. -I'm not expecting, Commander Jesse, I know. Three days ago Afrar Thir Zherensz Zystin sent out an open call to the whole army to assemble under Commander Ettar and wipe out the old blood once and for all.-

Ettar, the Ice Bird, as the other Commanders called him. Jesse knew very little about him, even though Razzle had warned him that he'd face him someday. Why hadn't he taken that warning more to heart and spent some time investigating Ettar instead of trying to pry into Nemesis' secrets?

He'd been such a fool. He'd seen Artesz all content with the status quo despite the embarrassing weakness of Commander Laxus and decided that the colonists were too lazy to revolt. Then he'd looked at Uthen, the richest colony clan, thinking that if anyone could afford to revolt it was them ... and he'd found a small house that for some reason seemed to struggle to keep up it's numbers, many of them sickly, and wondered whether they weren't too busy just surviving. They certainly hadn't looked like a threat.

And then he'd written off Jean Claude's worries as imaginary. He should have known better. Jean Claude was no fool.

-Ettar has a private army, or so Jean Claude once told me, but how many others will actually follow that call? Surely it can't be big enough to stand alone against the entire Outrider army?-

-It won't have to.- Irstz snapped. -And if you actually believe it, you are a bigger fool than I took you for.-

-Rather too ill acquainted with the individual colony clans and their Afrare to judge who would go just how far. I've never even talked with Ettar and know nothing of Zystinsz political position. Surely they have rivals that will refuse to support them. Others will be too prudent ... or lazy.-

-We do not know that for sure yet either.- Irstz said. -Or rather, my mission could not wait until I had heard the first replies. I came here straight away. Zystin is strong and popular, though, and the old blood are now at their weakest point. The colony lords must know that they might never get this good a chance to strike again. So, do not count on many of them letting a dislike for Zystin get in their way. You understand that if an Afrar declares for Zystin it is a matter of loyalty for all the soldiers of his house to offer their services to Ettar?-

Jesse nodded even though he hadn't known that. What of their loyalty to Nemesis?

-You can refuse though, go rouge and stick with the other side.- Irstz continued. -It is considered dishonourable, but you are not exactly famous for your loyalty and have always demonstrated a certain disaffection with your clan. Therefore Afrar Irozz has judged that it is not too much to ask of you to declare for our side, no matter what Afrar Hiretz decides. You will refuse your clan's bidding and follow Nemesis, even if he orders you to fight your own kin, even if you have to kill Commander Laxus with your own bare hands.-

Jesse glanced down at his small, weak, Fleshling-like hands, the heritage of his mother. They were gloved actually to hide the glyph that they'd cut into the back of his left hand at the trial more than to keep warm. And they were trembling. It was probably the alcohol, Jesse decided. He wasn't feeling that nervous anymore.

-I guess they should still be good enough for that.- He commented. -It won't need a Cat-Of-War to take a pathetic excuse for a Commander like Laxus down, in any case.-

But who was the more pathetic excuse? Lazy, self indulgent Laxus commanding a useless space station in the middle of nowhere, or a shoved aside and forgotten alcoholic that couldn't even cope with his own dreams?

Irstz laughed. -Personally, I doubt it will actually come to that extreme. It would be too big a coincidence that you should meet him out of all the rebel army and unarmed at that. It is very likely that you will find yourself having to shoot Arteze soldiers, however. We expect you not to miss on purpose.-

-That isn't usually my habit.- Hadn't he noticed the trembling, though?

-Indeed, I did not mean to imply an insult. I merely want to make sure you are prepared. You have never seen a civil war before. I expect many of us will find themselves having to make very painful choices before long.-

-Understood.- But he had once betrayed the very species that had raised him. He had turned on everything and everyone he'd ever known, and never hesitated to kill a Fleshling soldier. Why should this be any harder?

-Good.- But Irstz was looking at him through narrowed eyes. -Also understand that officially, unless Artez declares against Zystin, you will be standing alone. As long as you remain loyal to Nemesis however, Elhessar will continue to show you the same friendship it has in the past and should you really need clan support we will step in quietly. Remember that that is only for real emergencies, though.-

They were offering to take him in should he be seriously wounded or permanently crippled? Why?

-That is very generous of you.-

Too generous considering what he'd done and that the favour they asked for was something he'd most likely have done anyway. It was the Warworld, not Varen, that he considered his home and so, despite his blood ties with the colonists he felt more closely connected with the old blood. And it had been mostly their children that he had killed. 


	2. Chapter 1: Homecoming

Disclaimer 1: Most of this is fanfic. That means I do not own any of it. I just borrow it to play with for a little while and let people see the pathetic results if they really want to.

Disclaimer 2: I'm not making any money from it. It's just for fun.

Disclaimer 3: What isn't borrowed is all made up. None of this is real or most likely at all realistic. Please don't trust any of the information in here. Most likely you know more about whatever I'm writing about than I do.

Disclaimer 4: Attitudes, views and opinions expressed by the characters or in the story are not necessarily those of the author. Even when writing Science Fiction or Fantasy I do not tend to attempt to create perfect/better worlds in which everybody gets a happy end ... or whatever is best for them. Please accept that some characters will have a bad ending or be unhappy.

Disclaimer 5: I intend no insult to anyone. If I offend anyone I'm very sorry. Please understand that it was an accident as I tend to be very clumsy in these things.

Chapter 1: Homecoming

The ship only landed on the War World long enough to let Jesse off. Irstz was in a hurry to get somewhere else, but wouldn't say where. Probably, Jesse thought, to call in more favours.

-Try to actually obey Nemesis this time.- the schemer said just before he closed the door. -And cut back on the alcohol.-

-Yes, I know it's past time. For both.- Jesse told him and walked away wondering whether he could do either.

The hangar was dead silent and almost empty, which was a relief considering his headache, but completely unprecedented in Jesse's experience. Well, never mind. He knew his way.

Or did he?

His every step echoed loudly in deserted corridors sending pulses of pain through his head. Nemesis' strategy room where he'd been almost always to be found in the old days was dark and almost as dusty as an unused bed on Ishara.

For a moment Jesse wondered whether the planet was completely abandoned and he stranded and left to die. But that was nonsense. He'd passed the Badlander in the hangar. He could fly away any time he wanted to.

He didn't want to leave, though. He had to report in and assure Nemesis of his loyalty. Which meant he had to find Nemesis first and hope that he wouldn't get in trouble for returning before his banishment officially ended.

Well, if he wasn't using the strategy room anymore, maybe Nemesis was actually in his office. That had always been a rare occurrence, but Jesse had seen it before.

Indeed that part of the base seemed to be in use. There were corridor guards and a somehow used feeling to some of the doors he passed. Nobody stopped him and Nemesis' office turned out to be unguarded.

Feeling a little of his old recklessness returning Jesse pushed the door button and simply walked in.

-Jesse? I wasn't expecting you ... yet.-

Jesse blinked and wondered whether he was beginning to hallucinate. There, at Nemesis' desk, sat the least imposing Outrider he'd ever seen. He was almost a head shorter than Jesse and almost as thin, which was quite remarkably scrawny for his race.

It was the only remarkable thing about him, though. His skin and hair both were of a faded beige colour and his features plain and forgettable.

-Have we met?- Jesse didn't quite dare to ask him whether he was a hallucination out loud.

-Not officially, no.- the plain Outrider replied casually putting away whatever he'd been working on. -I don't think we've ever spoken, but we've passed each other often enough.-

Jesse stared. Was it possible that he had completely overlooked the man every time?

-I'd have sworn I've never seen you before.-

The stranger smiled. -Don't worry about it. It happens to me all the time. I'm easily overlooked, especially with all the tall and important people running around here. Let me introduce myself then: I'm Nemo, Nemesiszs private secretary. Or personal errand boy, if you prefer. Whatever he happens to need at the moment.-

-Well, at this moment, I at least need to report in.- Jesse explained. -You wouldn't happen to know where I could find Nemesis?-

Nemo tilted his head slightly and seemed to ponder that question, then he smiled again, almost mischievously.

-I'm afraid he isn't currently available, has left the base in fact. I can register you, though, and report to him when he returns. You'll probably want to get settled into your new office as soon as possible. I can save you some time.-

-Are you authorised to do that?- Jesse asked doubtfully. If Nemo was an entirely private secretary, possibly from Nemesis' house, and not military personnel, which he certainly didn't look like, he probably ought not to touch the registry files.

-Of course. Look.- Nemo calmly started up Nemesis' computer, entered a password and called the personnel register. -Nothing to it.-

-Alright then.- Jesse agreed, feeling rather relieved that he wouldn't have to deal with his Nastiness yet after all. He'd have to double-check that this really was okay soon, of course, but maybe he could make himself a little more presentable first. If he just had a little drink before he met Nemesis, maybe he wouldn't feel so bad and his hands would stop shaking for a little while. -What was that about a new office, though? I liked the old one just fine.-

-I wouldn't keep that.- Nemo recommended while he entered the registry data as if he did it all the time. Maybe he did, Jesse thought, Nemesis probably didn't usually bother to do it himself. -That level isn't in use right now and even when we get more busy again this one will be the centre of activity. There are lots of offices available on this corridor right now, and I can tell you that won't last long. You should grab some for yourself and your staff while you can. In fact, I could just give you the block Gattler had. That ought to be entertaining.-

-Entertaining? I don't want a quarrel with Gattler. We've always gotten on well.-

-Gattler's left it. And he knows that it'll probably be snatched up by the first commander to come along. He has no rights here.- Nemo grinned. -The entertainment value is in the fact that it's right next to Razzlezs area. You can exchange insults across the corridor all day if you're bored.-

-You'd enjoy that?- Dealing with Razzle's sarcasm while struggling through alcohol withdrawal wasn't exactly high on Jesse's to do list, but then again when Jesse had needed help Razzle had been surprisingly supportive and he'd be able to tell that Jesse wasn't feeling well at a glance.

-Nemesis will enjoy it.- Nemo pointed out.

-Oh, alright then.- He'd cope somehow.

Nemo almost beamed with delight. He didn't look quite as unremarkable when he was stirring up trouble.

-I only need an office for myself, though. I don't have any staff and ... I'm not sure ... It's probably best if you don't make me responsible for anyone.- No, he didn't want to get anybody else killed. -You'd definitely overstep your authority doing that.-

-We've got lots of comanderless troops hanging about at the moment, though.- Nemo said. -And those whose commanders follow Ettar are free for all. And then there are your old troops. A lot have left as well, of course, but some will probably want to return. You'll get some in any case and I'm just reserving empty offices. You can always return any spares or pass them on.-

-Say.- Nemo asked a moment later. -Are you here at your Afrarsz bidding, or are you ignoring him again?-

-He's ignoring me.- Jesse admitted. -I haven't heard from him, so I assume I'm not wanted on Varen and free to do as I please.-

-We haven't heard from him so far either. He might not have made up his mind, yet.-

-You misunderstand me. I have not only not heard from him on the current issue. I haven't head from him in a year. I think that frees me from all obligations to wait for his opinion.- Jesse glanced down at his gloved left hand. -As far as I'm concerned, I believe I'm still employed by Nemesis and Zystin's insane.-

Nemo laughed. -I thought that read 'trust' not 'loyalty'?-

So that was common knowledge? Jesse wondered who'd talked about it. There were only nine candidates and somehow he doubted it had been Razzle, Moku or Nemesis.

Yes, the glyph apparently meant trust, but it was also a reminder of the debt he owed those who'd lost loved ones in the explosion. Most of those victims must have been of the old blood clans. While the colonies too sent soldiers and students to the War World only the old blood actually had had their homes on it. Not to mention that he intended to pay his debt to Afrar Irozz for Cain's sake.

-You wouldn't happen to know what happened to my stuff and office furniture?- He asked instead of explaining.

Nemo shrugged. -Your ship should be where you left it. Everything else is probably in storage somewhere. Try asking the quarter-master.-

That worthy officer turned out to be nowhere to be found. His former office was abandoned without even a note to tell the new location. Jesse wandered around for a while, hoping to come across an actually used area, but all that happened was that his headache got worse and the craving for a drink irresistible. The bar in the recreational sector was still there and his hands grew a little steadier after the first drink.

After the second however, he remembered that he'd meant to stop drinking and so he left again. He needed his old single room in isolation back to go through with this. Without the alcohol the nightmares would come back and he couldn't keep waking up an entire dorm once or twice every night as he'd done when he'd first arrived on Ishara. They'd kick him out just to get some sleep.

But he no longer qualified for special treatment for being a different species nor would anyone believe that other Outriders would consider it an imposition to be expected to share their dorm with him. He'd slept in a normal dorm on Ishara and several times before that when he'd either been under house arrest or too tired to bother to return to his own room. He was probably expected to reclaim his old bed in Razzle's dorm.

Was Razzle's dorm even still there? He decided to check. If he couldn't find the quarter-master today, it would at least be a place to spend the night. If he was even welcome. If he wasn't, though. maybe that'd be a good argument for needing a private room.

The living quarters were quiet but not dead silent. Some common soldiers were milling about in the corridor outside one of the bigger dorms.

-I can't believe they just up and left overni...- The speaker broke off mid-word to stare at Jesse along with all the rest.

Were they just surprised to see him, or was his condition that obvious?

Jesse responded with a dismissive glance at them and walked on. They were beneath him and he didn't recognise them anyway.

The door was still there in any case. Jesse rang, wondering what he'd do in case nobody answered or the dorm turned out to be inhabited by strangers. He'd definitely look pretty foolish and he wasn't yet drunk enough not to care. Maybe he should have had a few more drinks first after all. He could always stop drinking tomorrow. If he meant to sleep in the dorm that would be the better idea in any case.

The door slid aside.

-Jesse?-

-Point?-

-Well, who did you expect?-

Jesse shrugged. -Grammis, I suppose. Somehow it seems it always ended up being Grammis that let me in.-

-Well, if you'd just gone to Razzle ...- Point stopped. -Actually, you still have to go to Razzle. He came back this morning and relieved me of dorm elder duties right away. Not that there's much of a dorm anyway.-

That didn't sound good.

-Why? What happened?-

-Oh, haven't you heard? House Zystin's gone crazy. They ...-

-Of course I've heard that.- Jesse snapped. -But what does it have to do with the dorm? In fact, why the hell is the whole bloody base empty? Shouldn't it be bustling with war preparations?-

He'd walked inside while he spoke and let his bag drop to the floor.

-Because all of our people took time off to help their clans get settled on Rukkat.- Razzle snapped from somewhere behind him. -And apparently they never learned to pack quickly.- He was standing in the kitchen door sneering. Jesse's lips twitched at the familiar sight. -And all the colonists left without bothering to pack much at all so they wouldn't be caught here in case their clans decide against us. Feel much like becoming a hostage, Puppy?- And then the sneer vanished. -Come here. This time you're not getting away without registering properly.-

-Where's the rest of your stuff?- Point asked eyeing the bag.

-In storage. I can't find the quarter-master and thought I'd take a break from looking.-

-Next to the mess.- Razzle supplied. -But he's new and incompetent. Send Azpet. He at least isn't likely to kill the nuisance.-

-And why does everybody want to register me? First Nemo, now you.-

-Nemo?- Razzle snapped.

-Wait a minute? Azpet?- Jesse asked confused.

Azpet was a young commoner that had once filled the role of Jesse's secretary. He'd been one of the most competent people on his staff, but had had a tendency to get noticeably nervous in the presence of influential nobles. Razzle had always had a nasty comment for him, but Jesse had thought he merely liked the panicked reaction.

-Who's Nemo?- Point demanded.

-Someone I suspect is a lot more dangerous than he looks.- Razzle replied ominously. -And he doesn't appear to just anyone.-

-You mean I hallucinated him after all?- Jesse said and immediately regretted it. Razzle was way to perceptive to make such remarks to. -He said he's Nemesisz private secretary and apparently has a master password for his computer. Very trusted errand boy, don't you think?-

Point shrugged. -Never heard of him.-

-You usually don't unless he's interested in you.- Razzle said. -And then he disappears again without a trace. It rather does feel as if you'd hallucinated him, yes.-

Phew!

-So what's that about Azpet?- Jesse asked again.

-Oh, Point still has him.- Razzle replied casually. -And I've got Ramszet stashed away somewhere, but I'm not sure he was worth saving. We've misplaced Kerost and Urak in all this chaos, though.-

-I still have about three quarters of Kerostsz flyers.- Point threw in. -You'll just have to find yourself a new subcommander for them. And fill up the vacancies of course, but then we've all got vacancies right now. It'll be a right chaos.-

-More like an officer shopping fair.- Razzle declared. -And Kerost's no loss. Maybe you ought to try to exchange Ramszet while you're at it. You might never get the chance to snatch up competent staff this cheaply again.-

-Hold on guys!- This was going way too fast. -I didn't say you have to give them back. I wasn't expecting you to.-

-But that's why we kept them.- Point returned simply. -You didn't honestly think we ever wanted Ramszet and Kerost, did you?-

-But I ... I don't want them either. You really shouldn't have. I don't want ...-

-What?- Razzle asked unusually gently. -What's wrong, Puppy? You don't look at all well.-

-I ... don't want to be responsible for that many people.- Jesse admitted softly. -Not right away at least. I think ... I think, maybe you were right. Maybe I really am too young. I should have started smaller.-

Point stared at him. -What?-

But Razzle nodded. -Puppy's figured out that he isn't infallible.- he translated. -So far so good, but here's another lesson: Neither are we. Neither is Nemesis. Keep it in mind and go on. It's just another perk of the job.-

His protests didn't help. Five minutes later he had official command of what was left of his old units back and also finally knew what Grammis had meant when he'd told him to see Razzle.

Five minutes! That was all it took to get his own key card for the dorm, his own storage cupboard and a list of the dorm rules.

-But I can't live here.- he told Razzle a little too desperately. The old rat was giving him very narrow measuring looks by now. -I need a place just to myself.-

-That's what you've got an office for.- Point pointed out.

-We won't crowd you, Puppy.- Razzle assured him. -We couldn't do it if we wanted to.-

It wasn't until they went down to the mess for dinner that Jesse fully realised that he'd meant to say that it was just the three of them now and that that was an unnaturally low number for a pack of Outriders.

On the other hand Orat actually came in alone, cast one glance their way and then chose to sit at the other end of the room rather than the nearby table that used to be the usual spot of Cuthz's dorm. He looked awfully lost.

-Is that it?- Jesse asked incredulously. -The three of us and Orat to defend the War World against Ettarsz private army and who knows what else he's got? And I've got one subcommander who hasn't got two braincells to rub together? I don't think he'd manage to get his own troops into a straight formation for an inspection considering the shape they're in right now. Forget any sort of coordinated defence. It's hopeless.-

-Mine look little better.- Razzle returned, though Jesse was sure he'd seen him talking with Subcommander Kieste earlier that day. And while Jesse had never actually spoken with Kieste he felt sure that he could have put even a squadron of raw recruits in line without much trouble. Kieste simply exuded competence. -But Ettar can't be organised yet either. He'll have no more idea who's going to be on his side than we do. All his own subcommanders are Zystine as well, but the units of the others will be in rather more chaotic shape than ours. Most of the soldiers from common clans are likely to stick with us as they have no stake in this revolt.-

-We still can't defend the planet.- Jesse complained.

-All we need to do is get organised.- Razzle insisted. -And you should stop drinking. You're already drunk and it's just making you depressed.-

-I'm not nearly drunk enough.- Jesse objected. -Please tell me Nemesis' on Rukkat at least.-

-Not if Nemo is here.- Razzle said. -At least, if my theory about them is correct one wouldn't be here without the other.-

-Theory?-

-Definitely not something you'd understand in the state you're in.- Razzle snapped. -I don't remember you drinking much.-

-I didn't at all, but things change.- Jesse shrugged and finished off his glass in one go.

Indeed Nemo had spoken of Nemesis as if he'd only stepped out of the office for a few hours. Jesse sighed. He'd intended to go over to the academy in the morning, but it looked like he couldn't afford to waste the time. He had to check up on the Badlander and make sure it was fully functional and ready for battle and to inspect his troops and create a temporary command structure that would render them operational in an emergency.

-Azpet will have to play at being subcommander.- he mumbled. -He's not even an officer.-

-Maybe I should go to the academy tonight.- he continued after a moment. -Check on the kids.-

Razzle and Point exchanged worried glances.

-Jesse?- Point suggested very gently. -I'm not sure you're sober enough to walk back to the dorm. You definitely won't make it to the academy.-

-Not that you'd find anyone there anyway.- Razzle added. -The academy's deserted. All the students fled home along with the colony soldiers.-

-Don't want to be sober.-

-Yes.- Razzle commented dryly. -We gathered that much.-

He did make it back to the dorm and into bed and woke with the usual pounding headache the next morning to find that it was much too bright in the dorm.

After a hasty shower he stumbled into the kitchen and poured himself a drink to make him feel better. However Razzle snatched the glass away.

-Try water.- he suggested.

-That won't help.- Jesse complained. -Besides what gives you ... - And then he remembered. -Oh right. You're right, dammit I meant to stop drinking today.-

-Need someone to run after you and remind you?-

Jesse glared.

-I'll tell Azpet.- Razzle promised ignoring the glare.

-Don't tell everybody. It's bad enough you know.-

-Just Azpet.- Razzle said calmly. -And the dorm, which, as you might remember if you haven't drowned that as well, is Point.- And he promptly turned to the door and yelled: -Point! If you have anything in here that contains any alcohol at all and mean to keep it, it'd better have migrated to your office by the time I return from breakfast, because any alcohol that's still here then will go straight down the drain.-

Point appeared in the door. -What?-

-New rule: No alcohol in this dorm.-

Jesse buried his head in his arms. That blocked out the light, soothed his headache a little, but most of all he didn't have too see Point's face. Or look Razzle in the eyes. This was too embarrassing.

But it might prove helpful.

-Got to warn you, though.- he told the table. -I'll get nightmares and wake you up screaming every night, if I don't drink.-

-Fine.- said Razzle. -Wake us up. We'll survive.-

It was a bad morning for them all. His headache and nausea made Jesse grumpy and likely to be insulting at the slightest chance and neither Point nor Razzle were in too good a mood - and Razzle had a tendency to insult people at every opportunity even on his best days.

He didn't take it very well when Jesse refused to eat breakfast, even though he went along to the mess quite willingly. He just didn't think he could manage to force any food down, and was quite sure it wouldn't actually stay down even if he succeeded.

-Look.- Jesse snarled when Razzle attempted to sneak a plate of food under his nose anyway. -I'm not drinking. I'll even have some more water, but I don't need an old bastard telling me what ...- And then he realised what he'd just said.

For a moment they all sat frozen. No matter how angry Jesse had been at Razzle in the past he'd always managed to control himself enough not to cross that line. And he had not meant to do it now!

He pushed the food away anyway. Even the thought of eating made his stomach turn.

-I'm sorry. I don't know why I said that.- he explained hastily. -It doesn't even matter to me at all. By the Fleshling way of seeing it I'm a bastard myself, as are all my favourite siblings. And the Fleshlings wouldn't really care! I ...-

-Jesse!- Point interrupted him sharply. -Stop digging yourself deeper into the hole.-

-I just ...- he stopped and looked at Razzle who'd gone unusually quiet.

-So you know.- Razzle stated tonelessly.

-Jean-Claude told me.- Jesse admitted. -Just to make sure I wouldn't put my foot in my mouth.-

-Great going.- Razzle sneered, which was at least a return to more normal behaviour.

-Damn it, Razzle, everybody knows.- Point intervened again. -It really doesn't matter anymore.-

-Oh, doesn't it? Then why is everybody talking about it and never to my face?- Razzle was yelling now attracting the attention of the people at the other tables, common soldiers that had really better mind their own business.

-Just let it go.- Point pleaded. -Let's try to act like civilised people again, okay? We've been snapping at each other like a litter of feral cumbats all morning. We shouldn't let the empty base get to us like this.-

-It isn't the empty base.- Jesse admitted. -It's me. I haven't had a drop of alcohol since yesterday night and I actually need it. I've got a pounding headache, the room's spinning, I'm not sure I can keep from throwing up even though the only thing in my stomach is water and I'm shaking like a leaf, if you haven't noticed. Altogether I'm in a really, really bad mood and talk of food really is not helping.-

-Uthen has declared for Zystin.- Razzle said abruptly. -So don't you tell me it doesn't matter. First my sister, now Gattler. Everyone I'm really close to leaves me.-

-Your sister?- Point asked. -What does she have to do with anything? She's been gone for ... how many years?-

Jesse who'd never before heard anything about Razzle's having siblings at all ignored the part about the sister and tried to put the rest together. It was much harder than usual in the condition he was in, but in the end it added up after all and he realised that this was by far the most vulnerable he'd ever seen Razzle. He'd just been given a weapon and he could exploit it.

But then he remembered his trial. He'd been completely defenceless then, had given up on his life. And Razzle had stepped up and been his shield.

-You know, Razzle.- he said pensively. -I don't think the circumstances of your birth had all that much weight in Afrar Sestasz decision to rebel.-

Razzle buried his face in his arms and laughed maybe just a touch hysterically.

The morning strategy meeting thankfully was short that day. With only four commanders present and no idea of what troops they had there wasn't much to talk about.

Jesse was uncomfortably aware that his hands were once again visibly shaking and if he looked as sick as he felt Nemesis and Orat couldn't help noticing. Not that Jesse cared too much what Orat thought, but he'd probably spread it all over the base.

Nemesis however ... well, he was His Nastiness and the last time Jesse had seen him he'd been on trial for killing almost 2 million civilians. Of their own race. Nemesis' decision to banish him for only a year had been surprisingly mild all things considered and now he'd even shortened the sentence. He was probably regretting that now.

He'd have to do the best he could to hide how bad it actually was and prove useful anyway.

-I've been thinking about the condition of out fighting force.- he said when Nemesis asked him what he was up to. -I might have missed something in the short time I've been back, but it appears to me that the War World is practically naked. Nemo promised there'd be troops coming in, Razzle and Point gave me some units none of which are at full strength and I lack officers to command them. They tell me theirs don't look any better. I don't know what Orat has, but he looks even more lost and stupid than usual. Where the hell is everybody else?-

-I'm expecting a lot more of all ranks from Rukkat shortly.- Nemesis told him.

-But we'll need a strong force there as well.- Razzle threw in. -We can't afford to lose either world, which means one commander will have to be set aside to defend each of them, and they have to be good ones. Rukkat is our most valuable possession and this is our military centre. And we can't just remain on the defensive and hope that Zystin will give up eventually.-

-How many commanders are we really sure of?- Jesse asked.

Nemesis looked at his screen. Surely he didn't need to look up that information, though. He was trying to break eye contact?

-Three active ones, but that's counting Jean-Claude who's never actually commanded more than ten men. He might be able to handle much more than that, or he might not.-

-I think he can.-Jesse said firmly. -But you might not want to just throw a whole planet under attack at him overnight. That might need some working up to.-

-You're also not the most impartial judge, I hear.- Orat commented.

-Maybe not.- Jesse shrugged it off. He wasn't sure what it was supposed to mean and he didn't want an argument with long-winded Orat of all people on top of his headache. -What about resources. Rukkat's newly settled. Can it supply us with anything? Food? Ammunition? Weapons? Energy?-

-It can't even supply itself, yet.- Razzle informed him.

-Just brilliant.- Jesse snapped. -And I thought I had a headache when I came in here.-

They'd need a source of food and quickly. The War World couldn't produce any at all.

Azpet awaited him in his miraculously fully furnished office with a happy smile and a bowl of something bitter to drink.

-It'll help.- he promised when Jesse made a face at the taste. -Or at least it should help the headache. I don't really know what to do about the rest.-

-You're sure it's not ...-

-I checked.-

Jesse took another sip and made another face. -Well, thank you, I guess. Did you get us some maps to go with the projector?-

-Of course. It came fully programmed. Do you want me to project something?-

-Our entire domain. Including the current position of the War World. But get me a list of actually present troops first.-

-At once, Commander.- Azpet said happily and bent over the projector. -And Commander?-

-Yes?-

-I am very glad you're back.-

-Why, didn't you like working for Point?- Jesse teased.

-Oh, he's alright.- Azpet apparently took him seriously. -But he didn't really need me and all his staff are ... well, you chose me. He never would have. He only took me for your sake, I think.-

That didn't sound very likely to Jesse.

-Well, you could have ended up with Razzle instead.-

Azpet shuddered.

He ought to assemble his troops either in the hangar or the gym and inspect them properly, but he didn't think he could manage, and it might not be a good idea to let them see the state he was in either. The list told him what he needed to know anyway. Their numbers were thin, their command structure remained patchy even after Jesse had gone over it and assigned temporary chains of command.

-But I was never trained to command anything!- Azpet protested when Jesse informed him that he had to stand in for three subcommanders.

-I'm not going to ask anything of you that I wouldn't of Ramszet.- Jesse promised. -I doubt he's capable of learning anything you're not smart enough to figure out on your own.-

Azpet blinked. -You think I'm smart?-

-Well, I'm not calling you a genius, but you can think circles around Ramszet and Kerost any day so until Urak gets here, or my head clears up, you'll have to be the brains of this outfit.-

No, the condition of his troops was anything but ideal, but at least he had some. If it hadn't been for Point and Razzle, he wouldn't even have had Azpet. Somewhere between the headache, nausea and craving alcohol Jesse was feeling horribly guilty, not only for almost having destroyed the War World a year ago, but also for hurting Razzle's feelings that morning.

At least the old bas... scarecrow had seemed back to normal once he'd recovered from his laughing fit. Jesse vehemently hoped that Point was right about the lack of people affecting Razzle. Outriders seemed to have evolved from some sort of pack or herd animals the way they tended to crowd into bedrooms of ten to twenty people. Of course three just wasn't enough company! Razzle would be fine once the other commanders arrived.

Jesse wondered whether he should make the effort to approach Orat about combining their dorms. Would Razzle accept Cuthz's former dorm-mates? He wished he'd thought to ask Nemesis exactly whom he was expecting to return.

Jean Claude, the only one that had been mentioned by name was of their dorm, which was reassuring. On the other hand, though, Jesse didn't know how he could face Jean Claude after the battle of Yuma.

Could they really share a dorm without bloodshed? Should he offer to move out, if Jean Claude wanted him to? But where to?

At any other time he'd have relied on Razzle to keep the peace between them somehow. Razzle was good at juggling incompatible personalities. But right now Jesse had a feeling that Razzle wasn't coping with his own personality all that well and thought he probably shouldn't be burdened with anybody else's. Not that Jesse was doing a particularly good job at not being a burden.

And he soon discovered that he had yet another problem. Economy didn't seem to be one of Azpet's strong points.

-Well, I know that Arthame exports food.- the young Outrider offered a little hesitantly while frowning at the map on the projector.

-And I know first-hand that Ishara exports ore and metal products.- Jesse added. -I signed enough bills of loading to figure that out.- He'd also known about Arthame. Had it been Jean Claude or Razzle that had explained to him where Gattler's money came from? -But what about the rest? Who else exports food? What are their defences?-

-I don't know. My clan are cobblers. They tried to teach me to make boots. I failed at producing anything wearable, so they sent me to the Warrior Academy to learn how to fire a blaster. There I also learned to fight, march, drive and fly. That's all I know. I was always content to know that food came from the kitchen and I was supposed to eat it in the mess.-

Jesse snorted at a sudden memory of Razzle in the mess pointing at the kitchen and telling him that exactly that was all he needed to know about where his food came from. It sent sharp stabs of pain shooting through his skull and he very quickly stopped and put his head back in his hands.

-Ow. Even laughing hurts.-

Their attempts at figuring out the natural, and not so natural resources of the Outrider domain were all in vain and Jesse kept feeling worse and worse. If he hadn't known any better he'd have been sure he'd caught the flu again and was feverish. Well, stomach flu this time. After throwing up the second time he gave up and returned to the dorm to lie down for a while.

Azpet accompanied him all he way to the dorm's door and even offered to tuck him into bed, but Jesse felt that that would have been taking his 'reminder' job a little too far. He'd let Jean Claude play nurse to him a long time ago, but Jean Claude was his equal in rank. Azpet was a mere common soldier and as such probably should not be allowed to set foot into a commanders' dorm.

At first he meant to just go straight to his bed and drop in, but then thought better of it. If he had to throw up again it would be a good idea to have a bucket or bowl to puke into rather than soil the bed or floor and have to clean up as well.

So he went into the kitchen to see what he could find for the purpose. What he found there however was Razzle busily cutting away at a shotez.

-Don't murder all the fruits.- Jesse mumbled. -Might be on short rations soon.-

Razzle glared at him casually, then let go of both knife and fruit and gave him a piercing look.

-You look like hell, Puppy.- he stated.

-I feel like hell. That's why I'm staying in bed the rest of the day. Got to feel better in the morning.-

But Razzle wasn't satisfied with that. He felt Jesse's forehead, checked his pulse, peered into his eyes and finally sighed and admitted defeat. He had no idea what to do with the information he had gathered. What exact symptoms ought one to expect from alcohol withdrawal? Was increased temperature normal? At what point ought one to get worried about it? And what the heck was a healthy pulse rate for a half-Fleshling anyway? Or for an Outrider for that matter ...

-You knew where to find my pulse well enough.- Jesse complained sitting down at the kitchen table to once again bury his head in his hands.

-I've watched Gattler do it often enough. If only he were here now.-

Except that Gattler was a trained field medic and would have followed it up by prodding and poking Jesse in some strategic locations and then either sending him to med bay to get checked out properly or giving him some medicine to drink. Jesse had been through that procedure once or twice.

-You think he has any experience with alcoholics?- Jesse asked just to reassure them both that the miraculous appearance of Gattler would not have improved the situation.

-Experience probably little if any.- Razzle said. -But he ought to know how serious your symptoms are and possibly how to alleviate them. At the very least he could look it up on the computer.-

-Can't you?- Jesse pleaded.

-Do you know the medical terminology? Because I certainly don't. If I could even find the right text I wouldn't have an idea what it means. I could probably sneak into the scientists' locked database and tell you everything they're hiding in weapons technology, engineering and possibly programming, but medicine might as well be Torla as far as I'm concerned.-

-What the fuck is Torla?-

-Something the Torleze speak. Don't ask me. I've never even seen a Torlez.-

This topic clearly wasn't very productive, though the conversation had distracted him from his miserable condition for a little while. Maybe if he could just keep Razzle talking to him for an hour or so he'd start feeling better.

-How about economy? Do you know anything about that?-

-Economy?- Razzle asked clearly puzzled and slightly concerned at the inexplicable change of topic.

-We don't have any supply sources. For anything, but we'll feel the lack of food first. We need to take a planet that can supply us with fruits. I tried getting Azpet to tell me who produces what, but he knows less than I do, which is no small achievement.-

In one single fluid motion Razzle turned back to the worktop, picked up the knife again and rammed it through the already poorly mangled shotez with such force that it disappeared to the hilt.

Jesse stared. He knew Razzle was rather fast and very clever, but he'd never struck him as very strong before. And besides ...

-What was that for?-

-Nothing to do with you.- Razzle reassured him. -Our first strike will have to be against Arthame.-

-Are you sure? Aren't there other worlds that export food?-

-Not close enough.- Razzle didn't seem to need a map for this. -It'd be practically begging Ettar to cut off our supply lines. Azpet couldn't see that?-

-Has no idea what other worlds produce food at all. Never had to learn any import-export stuff. Lucky fellow.- No other class he'd ever had had been as boring as Economy and what use was all that knowledge of the New Frontier's products to him now?

-The Warrior Academy has sadly deteriorated since my days.- Razzle remarked theatrically.

-That much was obvious.- Jesse replied calmly.

-Eh?-

-New recruits straight out of the academy.- Jesse explained. -I always wonder how some of them managed to pass primary education.-

Razzle laughed. -You have to stop accepting everybody else's leftovers. But don't forget that big, strong and stupid is an excellent combination for canon fodder. The academy has always offered easy classes to let them pass. Azpet could have made more of himself.-

-He's a commoner from a common clan. He wouldn't have gotten far even if he'd tried.-

-If I could do it, so could he.- Razzle stated. -You really don't get the bastard thing, do you?-

-Most of my siblings are bastards.- Jesse pointed out.

-No, they're not. They were born bastards, but even then ... There's bastards and bastards in our society, you see. Lots of different kinds, and I am the very worst. You for example, never were one at all.-

-Huh? I'm afraid I can't follow you through this headache. I'm the result of a rape and my father didn't know I exist until I was seventeen.-

-Your mother was married.- Razzle stated simply. -And her husband never disowned you. Ergo, you were born adopted. That's perfectly legit.-

-Alright then, but the mothers of my siblings were not married. Except for Irzhe. I think she married my father while she was pregnant with Cato, so Cato and Caibe are legit.-

-Right, the others were bastards at the moment of birth, but the moment Marzze recognised them as his children, they became legally his and since Irzhe had married him also hers. As a woman she can't even disown any child born to her husband after the marriage.-

It took a moment to sink in but then Jesse realised an interesting fact.

-So Irzhe could have disowned me and Cozz? We're both older than Cato so they weren't married then.-

-No, she couldn't disown you, because you never were hers until she actively claimed you. She could simply not have done that in the first place.-

With a pang of guilt Jesse remembered how vehemently he had refused to call her Mother.

-Did she automatically claim me by claiming Cozz?-

-No, she was perfectly free to claim only one or neither.- Razzle told him. -Do remember that it was to the advantage of the clan, though. The moment Marzze recognised you, you were Artheze and until Irzhe did bastards. That does shame the clan.-

-You just told me I never was a bastard.-

-If we recognise the Fleshling's adoption of you. Some people might not.- Razzle explained. -But that's besides the point. You are recognised and claimed and perfectly legit as are all your siblings. And even if you were not, there'd still be several differences between you and me.-

-Such as?-

-To start with your mothers were all of age, weren't they?-

-Yes, as far as I know.- It wasn't like he'd ever asked Marzze how old his various lovers had been, but all the women he'd seen his father flirt with had looked like adults.

-Mine wasn't. Next, your father obviously is known.-

-In my case by gene scan. They could have done that for you.-

-They didn't.- Razzle shrugged. -You can thank Nemesis and Moku. Normally those are very expensive.-

-I'd still have thought it'd be worth it, if it's such a shame to the clan.- Another wave of nausea hit very suddenly and Jesse stumbled over to the sink and hung his head over it, but this time his stomach calmed down again. Maybe he was getting better?

-You okay?-

Jesse nodded. -Keep talking. Distract me.-

-I don't know why they didn't scan me, Jesse. It may be because they couldn't afford it. Times were very hard for us then. Or it might be they knew or suspected the result and had reasons to accept the shame instead. Maybe they didn't want to know.-

-So you have your own suspicions?-

Razzle shuddered. -No.-

Alright, don't go there.

-Where do you get your middle name then?- That seemed a safe enough question.

-My mother's father. He was ... the only adult that actually made me feel wanted, too, so that fits nicely.- Razzle stopped for a moment, but then continued. -It is a lie, though. I take my father-name and my clan-name from my grandfather, you see, but both are normally determined by the father. My existence shames a clan I most likely do not actually belong to. That is the actual cutting point.-

-And yet, they did not gene scan you.- Jesse pointed out. -And I'd like to see their faces, if someone else claimed you now.-

Razzle laughed. -You're beginning to catch on. But there's one more difference before we go back to the question of careers. Bastards or not, you and your siblings were all colony brats, born into a well off clan with room to grow. Varen can well afford to carry around some dead weight, the War World back then could not. Reproduction here was strictly regulated, people stored in vapour chambers, because there just wasn't enough room for everybody. Children being born without permission could not be tolerated, yet many people desperately wanted children.-

-Like Jean Claude when he clung to Susie.-

-Yes, exactly. There had to be strong enough repercussions that people wouldn't just get pregnant and claim it had been an accident. Clans that had a bastard had to pay extra taxes, were publicly shamed, got fewer reproduction permissions and the bastards themselves ... well, the nicest thing somebody could do to you was supposed to be to ignore you, the way you ignore someone's shadow.-

-Shadow?- That was an odd simile.

-Oh, didn't Jean Claude tell you? The politest way to refer to a bastard is to call him a shadow child. Shadows are ignored. Or they can be trod on and nobody cares. Some bastards are killed before they reach their tenth birthday simply because nobody bothers to pull them out of the way of an oncoming car, or to stop their older cousins from beating them.-

Jesse just stared at Razzle. He was shaking again, but hardly noticed. The distraction was certainly working. But then Razzle ruined it all.

-I think.- he said suddenly interrupting his explanation. -We'd better put you to bed.-

-But you said you'd explain about your career.- Jesse protested feebly.

-Once you're in bed.- Razzle said his lips twitching with inexplicable amusement.

Jesse gave in and let Razzle tuck him in like a child. At least Razzle was his dorm elder and old enough to be his father, so it didn't feel quite as embarrassing as if Azpet had done it.

-So?- he asked Razzle then.

-So what?-

-You promised to tell me about your career.-

-Such a persistent Puppy.- Razzle teased. -Very well. Until I was sent to the academy I had my grandfather to look out for me and my sister for a playmate and for the most part I was quite content to stay out of everybody else's way and hope they didn't notice me. At the academy things were quite different, though. I didn't see much of my sister and I couldn't just stay away from my classmates. They all knew what I was: A new toy that not even the teachers would stop them from playing with as long as it didn't interrupt their lessons.-

That sounded rather familiar to Jesse. His first weeks at the orphanage hadn't exactly been pleasant, though the nurses had stepped in whenever things had gotten really dangerous.

-Back then the academy didn't have the small dorms you are familiar with ... Are you even familiar with them?-

Jesse shook his head. He'd usually met his siblings outside the academy or accompanied them to the door, but after getting lost in the maze of corridors there on his first visit he'd never entered it again. It was too embarrassing that he didn't know his way around the school every other soldier in the army had attended for at least five years.

-Well, back then only the right wing of the building belonged to the Warrior Academy while in the left wing there was the Science Academy. The dorms were in the middle, one single large dorm for all the boys attending the Warrior Academy, another for the adult men, and two smaller ones for the female students on another floor. And the same arrangement for the scientists on the other two floors, but I didn't know that then. Anyway, try having to avoid being noticed by over a thousand dorm-mates and not having anyone to talk to. At some point during my first year I realised that I preferred being the other boys' punching bag to being ignored, so instead of avoiding them I started provoking them.-

-And you still do.- Jesse commented. The trembling kept getting worse, but now that he was lying down it didn't really matter, right?

-And I still hate being ignored more than anything else.- Razzle agreed.

-Got to remember that next time I want to piss you off.-

Razzle smiled at him fondly. -You'll never manage. Anyway, when I got home after that first year I realised for the first time how much my own family was ignoring me as well, and how much they hated me. Provoking them as well was tempting, my sister did exactly that in fact, but it worried my grandfather so much that eventually I determined to make them proud of me instead. But that meant I had to become something they actually valued. All I was ever intended for was gun fodder, you see. I was supposed to scrape through the mandatory five years of training and then preferably be killed in battle so they could be rid of me without having outright done away with me.-

-So it's not really that Outriders don't do "abortions".- Jesse concluded more to himself. -They just delay them by twenty years. Charming.-

-What?- Razzle looked concerned again. Did he think Jesse was talking nonsense?

-"Abortion"'s a Fleshling thing. You don't want a baby, you kill it before it's ever born. Jean Claude thought it was pretty horrible, but frankly having and raising it just so it'll be killed as an adult sounds much worse to me.-

-It's not like they'd have murdered me, if I'd happened to survive.- Razzle pointed out. -But I couldn't have done anything worthy enough to make them proud as a common soldier. I had to get into officer's training and they wouldn't want me there. It would draw attention to their shame. So I decided to work on my teachers instead and convince them that I was the best student they had and it really would be a waste not to continue to teach me. So for my second year I picked all the classes that everybody else tended to avoid because they were too difficult or too much work and decided to top them all.-

-Just like that?- Jesse laughed, but once again that didn't do his headache any good and the room started spinning.

-Well, not quite. I soon realised that studying alone wouldn't get me there and I couldn't get any of the older students to help me when I didn't understand, at least not until much later, so I started hanging around after class, offering to help clean up, pestering the teachers with extra questions I didn't dare ask in front of the other students. I made quite a discovery that way.-

-That nobody likes a teacher's pet?-

-Nobody likes a bastard anyway.- Razzle reminded him. -No, I discovered that nine out of ten teachers love an actually interested student even more than they do a gifted one and the tenth inevitably hates cleaning up himself. They were almost all quite willing to drop little hints of what would be on the exam. Like that.-

-And that worked to get you into officer's training? I thought your Afrar had to agree to that?-

-Oh, yes, he did, but somehow starting in my second year every time a member of my clan happened to drop by the academy or meet a teacher he'd hear a passing remark on what a remarkable little fellow I was and why yes, I might go far. Even those teachers probably didn't dream of just how far I eventually did go, but it wore down the clan's resistance enough that when I begged to get the chance to just try officer's training for one year they gave in.-

-What's the use of only one year?-

-Why to see whether I still could top all my classes. I couldn't actually. I did come in second in one of the tech courses.- Razzle laughed. -But you should have seen even that teacher's face. I didn't realise until after I'd graduated that I'd quite overshot the mark in the replacement courses.-

-Replacement courses?- Replacing whom or what?!

-Remember how I said we were still sharing the building with the Science Academy? Some of the least popular courses at the Warrior Academy always were those related to science, so if the student number was low enough instead of wasting a teacher on us they'd assign us to a Science Academy course that covered the same or similar matters. We were the hell not supposed to top those. We'd do well enough to just scrape by, but I wasn't used to being content with that and I happened to make some unlikely friends and ...-

The doorbell rang.

-Now who could that be?- Razzle said almost as if pondering a strategic problem.

-Point?- Jesse suggested. Who else would want to come in here?

-Has a key.-

Razzle got up and walked out. Jesse heard the door slide open, Razzle's voice saying -No.- in its coldest most determined tone and the door slide shut again. Then Razzle returned and calmly resumed his former position sitting on Jesse's bed.

-Who's out there?- Jesse asked.

-Pussycat.-

Jesse blinked. -You closed the door in Istarsz face?-

-Yes.-

-Why?-

-I don't want him in here. Especially not at the same time as you and with the state you're in. No need to go buying more trouble than we already have.-

Point came in a few minutes later, looked concerned to find Jesse in bed and settled down on the other side of the bed.

-I'll be alright in the morning.- Jesse promised him, but that didn't seem to reassure Point who looked at Razzle instead.

-Do you think you could nick us some lunch from the kitchen?- Razzle asked instead of attempting to give any statement on Jesse's health. -I don't want to leave Jesse alone that long, or drag him down to the mess.-

-Just take it.- Jesse recommended. -The cook will shout about it, but he really doesn't mind.-

They both looked down at him concernedly now.

-Done it before.- Jesse explained. -Jean Claude, too. Is no problem.-

Razzle and Point exchanged a look.

-Get the food.- Razzle said. -I won't leave him for a moment.-

Jesse wanted to tell him that he was fine, but was he? The room was spinning again and the shaking was worse than ever. He closed his eyes and the dreams started again. He was running through a corridor of fire, hammering away at a computer, Jenny was looking at him with wide, frightened eyes.

-Why did you do that?- she asked him. -Why would you hurt me? I thought you were Jean Claudesz friend?-

Razzle was standing in the door. -It doesn't matter whether you knew them. They were only children, and they are dead, because of you. Think about that for a while.-

But that couldn't be right, because Razzle was sitting right there beside him. Jesse could feel him put his hand on his forehead again. But why, if he didn't know what to do with the result?

-Almost two million.- Gattler said.

-Think about that.-

-Jesse? Jesse, can you hear me?-

-Think about that.-

-No, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to do it. I'm sorry! So sorry! Please don't ... don't, I'm sorry!-

-Point? Thank the gods. Forget the food and get Moku. Now!-

Ramrod was firing at the planet. No, no, at Cain and Jenny. Running, running. The walls were collapsing, flames bursting forth swallowing the tall black building clan Elhessar lived in.

But no, that hadn't happened, had it? Hadn't Gattler said that the fires had never reached the house? Or had he lied?

-Of course I lied. You couldn't take the truth, could you? You are pathetic, weak and pathetic.-

-You aren't even here. Stop it.-

-It hurt so much.- Jenny said her tiny burning body clinging to Jean Claude.

-I'm sorry! I'm sorry!-

Someone was prodding him and he was running again, but he couldn't reach the computer, Ramrod was already there.

-You're idiots.- an angry voice said. One he hadn't heard in a long time. -All three of you.-

-He only seemed to have a slight fever until a short time ago.- Razzle said. -And then it seemed like he was just getting sleepy. Then he started apologising and I don't know what for.-

-Oh that's nothing. He's just hallucinating. That's perfectly harmless. As is the fever. It's the seizures we need to watch out for. And keep an eye on the cardiovascular system as well.-

-The what?- asked Point, but nobody answered him.

-Sorry.- Jesse mumbled again, this time, because it seemed like he'd gotten his dorm-mates in trouble.

-It's quite alright.- Moku said gently. -We'll fix it. Don't you worry.-

There was a sudden sting in his wrist and he tried to yank it away, but the wall wouldn't let it go and Ramrod was coming and he had to find his siblings ...

-No, please stop. I'm sorry, so sorry!-

-Puppy? It's alright, Puppy.-

Someone was petting his hair and Razzle was standing in the door. -Think about that.-

-Think about that.-

-Think about that.-

-So, so very sorry.- he sobbed. 


	3. Chapter 2: Unexpected Visitors

Disclaimer 1: Most of this is fanfic. That means I do not own any of it. I just borrow it to play with for a little while and let people see the pathetic results if they really want

Disclaimer 2: I'm not making any money from it. It's just for

Disclaimer 3: What isn't borrowed is all made up. None of this is real or most likely at all realistic. Please don't trust any of the information in here. Most likely you know more about whatever I'm writing about than I

Disclaimer 4: Attitudes, views and opinions expressed by the characters or in the story are not necessarily those of the author. Even when writing Science Fiction or Fantasy I do not tend to attempt to create perfect/better worlds in which everybody gets a happy end ... or whatever is best for them. Please accept that some characters will have a bad ending or be

Disclaimer 5: I intend no insult to anyone. If I offend anyone I'm very sorry. Please understand that it was an accident as I tend to be very clumsy in these

 **Chapter 2: Unexpected Visitors**

He opened his eyes and for a moment didn't know where he was. Then he remembered. Med bay again of course.

He glanced at the door, but Razzle wasn't there right now. He wasn't strapped down this time either. Except there appeared to be some kind of cuff around his wrist. When he pulled on it his arm moved freely, though.

Jesse looked at the wrist and ... saw his own blood flow through a transparent tube and over some whitish crystals. No! Not that!

He tore at the thing but it wouldn't come loose, it only hurt and ...

-Whoa, Jesse! Stop that!-

Jesse blinked. -Jean Claude?-

Jean Claude smiled at him, but it couldn't hide the worry in his eyes. -Yes, I'm here. Now, let go of the dispenser bracelet. You'll just hurt yourself.-

He reached out and gently pulled Jesse's hand away.

-I don't want it.- Jesse said. -Don't like the horrid things.-

-You need the medicine, Jesse.- Still that gentle, worried tone. -Just don't look at it. I'm sure Moku will take it off as soon as he can. You only have to stay here for two days. Be good now, alright?-

Jesse glanced at the bracelet again, then quickly back at Jean Claude.

-You're another hallucination, right? And that thing is, too. Not really there.-

-Oh Jesse.- Jean Claude sighed, then on a sudden impulse pulled a bag out from under his chair, dug around in it for a while and finally came up with a blue and green neck-cloth, which he tied over the dispenser bracelet. -There, now you can't see it. Will that help?-

A snort of laughter from the door.

-Well, it works on Jenny anyway.- Jean Claude said slightly defensively. -And just why are you here in ...- A glance at Jesse. -You know.-

-Call me the mail-man if you like.- Nemo said.

-Mail-man.- Jean Claude repeated deadpan.

-His Nastiness wants to know how Jesse is doing.- Nemo shrugged. -And we got a holo-message that followed you from Ishara. Nemesis has watched it, though. Sorry about that.-

-Well, you can shove right back off to ... His Nastiness and tell him Jesse is in no condition to cope with visitors.- Jean Claude said.

-You're here, kitten.- Nemo made himself comfortable in the other chair.

Kitten?! It certainly went well with pussycat, but seemed to fit Jenny a lot better than Jean Claude.

-Not your sort of visitors in any case.- Jean Claude snapped.

-There, you've found a new friend and suddenly I'm all forgotten. I remember days when you used to wait near the door for hours just to make sure you'd be the first to greet me.-

-I was just a child then and you were just ... you weren't what you are now.-

-Do I have to be anything?- Nemo said now apparently really sad. -Do we have to be anything right now?-

What the hell?

-This is definitely my strangest hallucination yet.- Jesse declared.

-Now, that's more original. I've been overlooked before. I've been distrusted.- A withering look at Jean Claude. -But I've never been hallucinated. Shove off, kitten, Jesse and I need to talk about adult stuff.-

Jean Claude rolled his eyes. -Where to?-

-I don't know. Go unpack or something.-

-Got no place to unpack.- Jean Claude stuck out his tongue at Nemo.

-Then go find yourself a dorm. Children!- Nemo huffed.

Jean Claude did indeed leave, but left his bag behind.

-I'm still older than both of you.- He fired as a parting shot.

Nemo grinned.

Jesse regarded him. The fact that he was still here either meant that he wasn't a hallucination after all or that his hallucinations had become a lot more realistic and persistent all of a sudden.

-So, are you real?-

-I definitely feel real.- Nemo assured him.

-Which means Nemesis knows.- That wasn't good news.

-Yes, and he's pissed.- Nemo said casually. -Because you didn't tell him at least as much as because you're out of action for two days.-

-Impatient as ever.- Jesse commented.

-You really could have told him when he asked.-

-Orat was there. Did you think I wanted the whole base to know?-

-Well, he's sure to know by now.- Nemo shrugged again. -Whatever. I've got this holo-message that followed you here from Ishara. Nemesis has seen it, so I think you might want to, too. Seeing how it's yours, you know.-

Jesse held out his hand for it. The neck-cloth was still there as well. He wasn't sure he liked this hallucination, even though nobody had died or scolded him yet and nothing was on fire.

-I could probably talk Moku into letting you have a projector to watch it.- Nemo said as he handed it over.

Jesse nodded absently. -Who?-

If it was real, and it certainly felt so, it couldn't be from Razzle. Jesse had never replied to his last message and if Razzle had sent another after he'd heard of the revolution, he'd probably have mentioned it. The Elhessare had sent Irstz and would have known the message couldn't reach him on Ishara anymore. Would Rjzen or Rissa care enough to write him? Maybe if they were very bored and hoped that he'd give them a political update?

-Who what?- Nemo asked.

-Who sent it?-

-Why your Afrar of course.- Nemo said as if that were obvious.

-Marzze? Then it has to be a hallucination.-

-Does it?- Nemo sounded surprised and a little concerned. -Well, in any case it isn't from Marzze, it's from Hiretz. It contains your orders to join Ettar rather than return here.-

For a moment Jesse just stared at him. Thinking was still hard.

-Now he remembers I exist? Now?-

Nemo looked at him pityingly. -You still don't get on with your clan?-

-No, and it doesn't matter. Especially since they've turned rebels. I just ... I like the children, you know. I'd have liked to see my siblings. Maybe we could grab them as hostages.- He mused hopefully.

-They're on Varen.- Nemo pointed out. -Which is about as safe as they can get in this situation. Unlike both worlds in our control it's not very likely to be attacked. Not by Ettar, because it's on his side, and not by us, because we have more pressing targets.-

-Right.- Jesse remembered. -Razzle said what we need is Arthame.-

He still wished he could have seen the children. Outside of nightmares and hallucinations in which they were killed.

-Do you wish you could join them?- Nemo asked suddenly. -You can tell me, you know.-

-No.- He was sure of that. -I just want to wring Hiretzsz neck.- Though keeping the clan safe from an attack that might cost them not only their home, but also the lives of their civilians and children was a strong point in favour of rebellion. Even Jesse had to concede that.

-Well, that's safe enough.- Nemo said. -You can't get there to do it, so you can want it as much as you like. And I guess I'd best leave you to get some rest now or else Moku might decide to keep you in here another day and Nemesis will be mad at me. We really need every Commander we can get.-

He left and Jesse lay back and tried to go back to sleep. The dispenser bracelet felt much heavier and tighter around his wrist than it should. It was as if he could feel his blood pulsing through it even though he couldn't see it anymore.

He ran his hand over the piece of cloth that hid it from view. He ought to stop feeling so bothered by it. Outriders used them quite casually all the time and he'd never heard of them doing anyone any harm. They just looked scary because you could see your own blood run through them and he didn't have to look anymore.

The medicine in it was probably nothing at all as well. A simple painkiller or tranquilliser to make the withdrawal symptoms easier to bear. Moku would take it off as soon as he was sure the symptoms were gone. So what if there'd be two tiny needle marks and some blood lost? He'd taken much worse injuries sparring with his dorm mates and thought nothing of them.

-Commander Jesse?-

Formal address and it wasn't even Azpet's voice? Jesse turned over in surprise.

-Jatt!- Another hallucination.

-I'm sorry to intrude on you right now.- Jatt said nervously. -But well ...-

-It's good to see you, Jatt.- Jesse assured him. -No really. I ... They told me some walls collapsed at the Academy. I ...-

-Yes.- Jatt said looking as pale and uncomfortable as his dark green skin allowed. -It's all repaired now though. That is you can still see where, but the rooms are perfectly good for use again.-

Jesse winced. He hadn't been worried about the rooms.

-But what are you doing here?- He prompted.

-Oh well, the Academy closed down after all the colonists left. Too many students and teachers missing to go on as usual, you see. So at first we went home, too, but then His Nastiness sent Afrar a message asking him to return to active duty, because we're short on officers and ... well, Afrar volunteered me as well. I'm not sure what sort of officer he thinks I'll make what with being only halfway through officers' training, but I do mean to give all I can to defend our home, you know.-

Jesse smiled. He'd never had any officer's training at all himself. Sometimes it was hard to remember that Jatt was in fact four years older than he was. Had he been this insecure and idealistic when he'd been at the Star Sheriff Academy?

-You'll do fine, Jatt. You know all the basics and you have your Afrar with all his experience to guide you. You'll pick up the rest as you go along.-

-But that's exactly the point!- Jatt exclaimed. -What sort of officer will people think me, if I let my Afrar assign me a position far above my station? I don't want to be seen as Afafsz little baby boy that could never achieve anything for himself. And it won't be any better, if I ask Jean Claude to take me. It's got to be someone that isn't of my own clan. So, I came to you.- He ended a little sheepishly.

Well, that certainly was unexpected.

-Are you serious?- Jesse asked him. -You're volunteering into my corps?-

Jatt nodded eagerly. -Very serious. And I'm an excellent fighter. And pretty good at Tactics simulations. And a fast learner. ... Please?-

Jesse nodded. He was desperately in need of personnel of just about every rank after all and Jatt probably had more brains than Kerost and Ramszet put together. He couldn't possibly perform any worse than those two.

-Alright, but I'll be out of action for two more days. Go to my office, that's right across from Razzlesz, if you can't find anyone to direct you. Ask for Azpet. He's my secretary and tell him I said to use you in place of Ramszet for the moment. He'll be relieved to have you as he's never had any officer's training at all. So don't be scared to offer him whatever advice you can give.-

Jatt gave a whoop of delight, that once again reminded Jesse that he still had a headache, thanked him several times and then dashed off to find Azpet.

-Well, in any case, he's enthusiastic.- Jesse decided and went back to staring at his wrist hoping to fall asleep.

The planet was burning and Nemesis was giving him a speech about dangers to health posed by alcohol.

-Almost two million.- Said Gattler.

-Children.- Added Razzle. -Think about that.-

The computer exploded and the whole world disappeared in a fireball.

-Think about that.-

-Nooo!- Jesse screamed. -I'm sorry, I'm sorry!-

-Oh please, not that again.- Said Point. -It's alright, Jesse. We forgive you. Whatever it is that you're sorry for. Anything, if you'll just stop apologising.-

Jesse blinked. -Told you I get nightmares if I don't drink.-

Either they'd left orbit, or it was getting dark. They'd turned the lights on. Jean Claude's bag had disappeared, but his neck-cloth was still tied around Jesse's wrist, so maybe he really hadn't been a hallucination.

-Was Jean Claude really here?- He asked Point.

-Why yes, of course. He's just gone down to the dorm to unpack.- Point grinned. -Under the condition that he never lets Istar in. A bit unfair, I think. What's Razzle expect him to do, if Istar takes it into his head to just knock the poor boy over and come in fighting?-

-Well, the last thing I want right now is to share a dorm with Istar. I don't want to know what he does to people who wake him up screaming in the night.- Jesse sighed. -So much for uniting with the remains of Cuthzsz dorm, I guess.-

-Uniting ... why ever would we want to do that?-

-Company?- Jesse suggested. -I thought you tried to tell me that three just isn't enough for you guys.-

-We're up to five.- Point told him. -Jean Claude's back, remember. And Gaspar, too.-

-Won't they ever be delighted with me ...-

-Well, at least they're not Istar.- Point reminded him. -That would have been real trouble, because he's older than Razzle. Some dorm elder he'd make.-

-I could almost pity Orat.- Jesse declared. -How about Nemo? Was he real or just another hallucination after all?-

-I still don't know any Nemo.- Point said. -If Razzle hadn't confirmed his existence I'd swear you hallucinated him even before you stopped drinking.-

-Well, that's not entirely impossible. Especially considering the weird conversation he had with Jean Claude.- But there was a holo-disk lying by his bed. -And Jatt?-

-Jean Claudesz little brother? I think I've seen him once or twice, but I only just got here less than an hour ago. You'll have to ask Jean Claude. He's the one that sat with you for most of the afternoon and evening.-

-They're not making you sit here all night, are they?-

-Nah, there'll be a nurse on call, but you've got to promise not to pull on the bracelet again.-

Jesse nodded. -Promise. I ... really don't know what I was thinking when I did that.-

-Moku says confusion and panic attacks are normal withdrawal symptoms.- Point offered. -Just, try not to get confused about that again, okay.-

-Promise.- Jesse repeated.

There was a knock on the door and then Ramszet entered.

-Hi boss. Sorry to hear you're sick, but Azpet said to tell you I'm here anyway. And that he's given Jatt command of Uraksz troops, because we're pretty sure he won't come back and Kerost might.-

-Thanks Ramszet. It's ... um ... reassuring to know I've got an almost complete team again.-

The moment Ramszet had left Jesse allowed himself a pained groan.

-What's wrong, Puppy?- Point asked in a way that had somehow seemed a lot less incongruous from Razzle.

-I've got a splitting headache, the room's spinning, I feel sick and my three Subcommander positions are filled by a common soldier who's standing in for me on the side, a half-trained kid that's never seen battle and a half-wit. Could it get much worse?-

As it turned out it could. Or at least it continued to be just that bad for most of the next day. In between phases of nightmares or hallucinations, which were awfully hard to tell apart, Jesse either threw up or trembled so much that he had to admit that he couldn't possibly have returned to work that day, not even just for the strategy meeting. Maybe it was for the best that Razzle had sent for Moku.

Around dinnertime Jesse started to feel a little better, though. He made an attempt to convince a young assistant doctor to remove the dispenser bracelet when she came to check up on him, but she coldly informed him that she wasn't authorised to do that even if she wanted to and as far as she knew it was going to stay there for a good long time.

Jesse decided that things still hadn't gotten better at all and demanded to talk wit Moku.

-He's got more important things to do.- The young doctor promptly told him.

Nevertheless Moku did appear about two hours later. Like the assistant doctor before him he affixed some strange little reader to the bracelet. Jesse tried not to look, because the sight of the thing brought his nausea back, but he was also curious what Moku was doing.

-Looks like the worst really is over now.- Moku reported. -You'll definitely be almost back to normal in the morning. I've got to warn you, though, that some mild symptoms might continue for up to almost two years.-

That wasn't all that encouraging either.

-Can't you take off the damned bracelet now?- Jesse asked. -I really, really hate those things.-

Moku looked at him sternly.

-You'd better get used to them then. You'll get a fresh one with a different medicine in the morning, something that will knock you out if you ever drink alcohol again. I expect you will find that quite helpful especially in the beginning, but it means that you'll probably have to wear a dispenser bracelet at all times for the rest of your life.-

No amount of pleading and promising helped, Moku merely agreed to tie the neck-cloth back over the bracelet and ruffled his hair.

-You'll get used to it, child.- He said. -And I'll know you're safe.-

Jesse glared and sulked and started to plot complicated and unrealistic ways to get rid of his bracelet once and for all and then he got yet another shock when Iktrz visited him to schedule their appointments for the next week. Daily appointments.

-You can just tell Razzle to go fuck himself.- Jesse snapped. -I don't need a shrink.-

-Razzle didn't hire me this time.- Iktrz returned calmly and patiently as ever. -And actually you do.-

-Razzle didn't? Then who put you up to this this time?-

-My actual boss.- Iktrz answered, calmly and patiently. -Nemesis.-

-Oh great, Nemesis thinks I'm insane now. May I ask who or what gave him that idea?-

-You told both Razzle and Moku that after over nine months you're still suffering from the same nightmares you had last time I saw you.-

So Razzle had had something to do with this after all. -I'm fine. I can cope.-

-Almost drinking yourself to death is not coping. We'll address those dreams this time and keep working on them until they are definitely and finally gone.-

Ha, good luck!

-After that we'll see.-

Jesse glared.

-I've seen very few patients who've gone through as many traumatising events in their lives as you have, you know, and yet you're still a child. I usually work only with adults. I'm sure it will be a very interesting experience.-

Jesse told him just what he could do with his experience, but that didn't rattle Iktrz.

-Think about it whatever you will, it won't change Nemesiszs orders. You can't get around seeing me.-

Nor would he get around seeing Moku every morning to get the damned dispenser bracelet filled with fresh medicine crystals.

-I could teach you to do it yourself.- Moku teased. - But then you'd have to look at it.-

Jesse once again wished that Gattler were here. Gattler could at least have done it discretely in the dorm, possibly even with a minimum of teasing.

-Alright.- said Moku once again retying Jean Claude's neck-cloth -You can go.-

A glance at the clock told Jesse that he was late for the morning strategy meeting, but he decided to go anyway. Better late than be considered absent for another day.

As it turned out he was in luck. Orat was talking everybody's ears off when he slipped silently into the room. A quick glance told him that Istar had chosen to stand on what Jesse used to consider Cuthz's dorm's side of the room, so there was no danger in quietly slipping into his usual place next to Jean Claude.

Ramszet breathed an audible sigh of relief and pressed a number of papers into his hands.

-You think I have time to read those now?- Jesse hissed. -Sorry, but you'll have to do the report today.-

Actually, he probably could have. He wasn't one bit interested in the condition of Orat's troops and he doubted that anybody else was really paying attention, but it might draw Nemesis' ire not to at least pretend to.

Nemesis let Orat finish his long-winded speech and then turned on Jesse as expected.

-And just where have you been?-

-Med bay.- Jesse stated calmly. -If you didn't want Moku to give me a final full check-up, you should have told him so. He thought it was part of his job.-

-And is that.- Nemesis pointed at Ramszet who almost fell over in his fright. -Really the best you've got?-

-The highest ranking.- Jesse corrected. -I've got more talented officers, I believe, though I haven't had a chance to check the personnel rooster, yet. In any case, unless Subcommander Urak has returned in my absence ...-

Ramszet shook his head vehemently.

-The others are all junior to Ramszet in rank. I don't suppose you'd have liked to see a wing leader or my common secretary in this exalted company? Anyway you yourself assigned Ramszet to my command three years ago and told me he was a fine officer. I admit that I've never considered him Commander material either, but I have always found him very loyal and willing to please.-

Ramszet beamed.

Jean Claude giggled.

Razzle smirked.

Nemesis' mask gave nothing away.

-Willing being the operative word.- Orat commented. -I cannot see how such utter incompetence and stupidity could ever please anyone. Only ...-

-Yes Orat, we are, I believe, all very much aware of your lack of imagination and inability to use your soldiers according to their individual talents. Please spare us another tirade. I've got work to catch up on.- Jesse interrupted him hastily.

Orat fumed. Several faces he'd only ever seen in council meetings before regarded Jesse thoughtfully or angrily, one of them, Jesse noted with apprehension, on Razzle's side of the room, and he couldn't even give a name to the face.

Nemesis let the matter drop. Without a single word about his alcohol problem! Things were finally improving.

In fact they were not only improving as far as Jesse himself was concerned. All the other Commanders reported their troops to be ready for battle, though there were still some positions left to fill before they'd be back to full strength, the defence plan for Rukkat was completed and only awaiting Nemesis' final decision on who should have that command and a few last construction measures to be put into effect and Razzle and Lutaz were working on an attack plan for Arthame.

The name Lutaz finally rang a bell. Commander Lutaz, nicknamed Computerbrain either by his soldiers or his students, taught at the Academy. Jesse thought he had something to do with the medicine speciality courses, but he wasn't sure. Kerost was scared of him, he remembered. Was Kerost here? He was a little smarter than Ramszet, so Jesse doubted it. Most likely Azpet would have sent him to the meeting, if he'd been able to.

If he really taught medicine courses and was their dorm-mate, could Jesse ask him to administer his medicine?

But no, better Moku than a stranger. Asking Gattler would have been different. He knew and trusted Gattler better than Moku.

Lutaz was just a name and a face, but Nemesis seemed to be determined to change that. He ordered Jesse to get his troops straightened out as quickly as possible and then see what he could contribute to those attack plans. Why? Jesse would have much preferred to work with Jean Claude, though he still wasn't sure why Jean Claude and Jatt weren't glaring daggers at him every time they met.

Azpet and Jatt were the only ones waiting for them in Jesse's office. That didn't give him much hope, but he asked anyway.

-Any news from Urak? Or Kerost?-

Azpet shook his head. -But we've managed to rearrange the wings, so while we're short several wings the ones we have are all complete now and we can command them, too.-

-We didn't hire anyone, though.- Jatt admitted. -I think that might have been a mistake. We weren't sure what qualifications you would want them to have, but now everybody with any qualifications to speak of has been snatched up by somebody else. They sure were fast ... -

Jesse sighed. He should have expected that.

-Well, show me what we've got and the list of available personnel. And send word to everybody I'll inspect them in the hangar in two hours. Hopefully that will inspire some confidence.-

-I don't think you need to worry about that.- Jatt remarked. -They seem downright eager to me.-

-They haven't seen me in a year, they've just been reorganised by a common soldier instead, they can see everybody around them getting organised and there's a civil war brewing.- Jesse told him. -They can't be feeling confident. No, they definitely need to see me getting active.-

He spent the next hour going over the leftovers trying to pick out the best pilots and making them offers. Would it be better to take old soldiers who'd come out of retirement for this and trust in their experience, or young and sometimes not quite fully trained ones and rely on their youth and physical fitness? Based on his own history he tended to prefer the second group, but past experiences with Istar and Razzle were strong arguments in favour of the first. In the end he tried to get an even mixture of both.

Then there were those that the others had probably avoided because of their disciplinary records. Including several alcoholics and three that had received vapour chamber sentences for disobedience and in one case outright treason. They could form a club with himself as president, Jesse thought and sent them offers as well. Anything else would have been hypocritical.

Some petty crimes like theft and forgery or brawling. No problem really. He'd mingled with their sort a lot on Ishara. They'd probably do perfectly fine jobs anyway.

He hesitated over those who'd been punished for cowardice, then decided to give two of them a second chance, because their references were good otherwise.

Nobody on his team or among the leftovers had ever attended a tech course, and he was short on field medics as well. Plenty of sharpshooters, and some intell, though. Maybe he could trade?

A quick glance at what his fellow Commanders had revealed a surprise. Razzle of all people was hoarding tech officers? Then again Razzle had an even pattern of all the specialities spread through his entire corps. And that despite the fact that he'd had only three days to fill the gaps Zystin's rebellion must have torn into it.

-Damn Razzle, but he does know exactly what he's doing.- Seeing Razzle's and his own corps' structure side by side made Jesse feel much like little Cain when she'd proudly lined up her plastic renegades in a random order to conquer her toy chest.

-I'd expect so.- Jatt said. -Afrar says Razzle's a damned clever fellow, and he's an old hand at it, too. Been around almost as long as Afrar, except that he has never retired yet. What's he done?-

Jesse pointed at the screen. -Organised his troops down to the individual speciality qualifications. And I've always felt proud when I could get an officer that actually knew how to spell. Bet you not one of Razzle's staff finds it difficult to use a holo-projector.-

Jatt didn't ask any questions. Apparently two days had been long enough to acquaint him with Ramszet's weaknesses.

For a moment Jesse pondered simply copying Razzle's pattern, but then he realised that he'd need a similar distribution of specialities among his officers first. And he didn't even have one tech, let alone enough to make patterns with.

Besides if he hung around the office much longer he'd be late for his appointment with Iktrz and if they made him stay after he'd have to cancel the inspection which would definitely demoralise the troops.

So he went. And sulked at the head psychologist for a while.

-You know.- Iktrz said pleasantly. -It's quite alright if you don't feel up to talking about your nightmares, yet, but sooner or later we'll have to.-

Jesse glared at him and then continued to play with the decorative tassels that hung on Iktrz' office walls. Or would it be a consultation room? Either way, Jesse didn't like the place one bit.

Iktrz shrugged. -Oh well. But since we do have to sit here for an hour, don't you think we should find some topic to pass the time? How about Fleshlings? I've never even seen one and know nothing about their lifestyle. Why don't you tell me what life in a Fleshling family is like?-

So Jesse ended up telling him all his earliest childhood memories and what his Fleshling parents had been like. He himself wouldn't have considered any of it interesting, but well, to Iktrz it was obviously quite exotic and he was then allowed to go and inspect his troops.

That went surprisingly well. They really were eager to fight and while happy to see him didn't appear at all demoralised by his long absence.

-No worries, boss.- One of the older wing leaders told him. -Commander Razzle kept us in good shape.-

-And Subcommander Kerost jumpy.- A cheeky common pilot added. -Those two didn't get on at all.-

-He could have smuggled me a tech officer into the unit while he was playing with it.- Jesse sneered. Nothing Razzle or anybody else could do would ever frighten any intelligence into Kerost's brain.

-Yeah, those are rather handy. Had the maintenance crews always standing at the ready the moment we landed and no matter what went broke, it was fixed the very next day at the latest.- The wing leader said.

Jesse smirked. -Well, we might not have a tech officer, yet, but maybe we can improve the morale of the maintenance crews a bit. Ramszet! Jatt! After our next manoeuvre, go and complain that they were too slow. Shout a bit and look scary.-

-Scary?- Jatt asked a little nervously. -How do I do that?-

-Oh, just mention that you're Istarsz son and desperate for some new sparring partners.- Jesse said. -That ought to do the trick.-

-Should I do that, too?- Ramszet asked. -Only, I'm not Istarsz son ...-

-No, you tell them that you're my second in command. They don't need to know that that's by virtue of being my only fully qualified Subcommander. Just shout a lot and act really important.-

It was probably too much to ask of Ramszet, but it couldn't hurt to try.

Jesse went to lunch feeling that things would eventually be at least no worse than they had been when he'd first come to the vapour zone. Quite a bit better than that. He hadn't yet had Urak then either and Azpet made a better Subcommander than Kerost had ever managed to be. As for Jatt, well that remained to be seen. It was hard to tell what any soldier was worth before he'd been under fire at least once.

-So, how's it going?- Jean Claude asked. -Has my little brother spread utter chaos in your formations yet?-

-If he ever manages to cause worse chaos than Kerost when he forgot what he was supposed to attack, I'll give him a medal or something.- Jesse promised. -Actually he's looking fine so far.-

-By what standards?- Razzle asked with a grin.

-Kerost and Ramszet when I first got them?- Jesse suggested. -Or Azpet, for that matter. It wouldn't be fair to compare him to Urak. He had experience. Mind you, all they've done is shuffle my own people around so we have functional units. And talking about functional units. I couldn't maybe talk you into parting with one of your tech officers? Because guess what's no longer available.-

-I believe I told you so.- Razzle was still grinning. -And no, definitely not if Jatt is the best you can offer in exchange.-

-The best I have currently is still Azpet, but I can't afford to part with him, and you'd only give him a heart attack.-

-Oh keep him by all means. I've no use for him. I can spell.-

Jesse laughed. -One of these days I'm going have a look at your written Fleshling.- But he had the uncomfortable feeling that most likely at least all of Razzle's Subcommanders knew their own written language as well as their boss.

-Well, I wouldn't bet a broken hand-blaster that Ramszet can spell any word with more than two syllables.- Lutaz entered the conversation. -Wherever did you find that idiot?-

-I wouldn't bet that he can write at all.- Jesse countered. -I've never tried him at that. That's what I keep a secretary for after all. And as I already said this morning, I got Ramszet from Nemesis and he's loyal.-

-Which is by far the nicest thing I've ever heard you say about him.- Jean Claude remarked.

-Well, I was surprised how happy he was to return to me. All things considered, I expected him to prefer to stay with Point.-

-You didn't honestly think I'd have kept him, did you? Urak and some of the light tanks I might have thought twice about declining. Those things did come in handy a few times.-

-Oh, have you changed your mind about tanks then?- Razzle teased Point, but Lutaz's eyes remained on Jesse.

Jesse leaned back in his chair and regarded him coldly.

-You're a bit of a puzzle 'Puppy'.- Lutaz informed him. -But I like solving puzzles.-

-Then we might have a problem, because I don't like being solved.- Jesse told him.

-Or so he says.- Razzle commented. -But he hasn't really drawn blood from me yet.-

Which reminded Jesse of the damned horrid bracelet on his wrist. He supposed he must have glanced at it, because Jean Claude asked: -You still have to wear that dispenser bracelet?-

-It's a fresh one actually, but ... likely to stay around for a while. I suppose you'll want your cloth back, though. You can have it tonight.-

-Nah, keep it. It's just an old piece of fabric.-

Lutaz eyed Jesse's wrist decoration. -Cute.- he sneered. -Can I have a look at that bracelet.-

-No.- Jesse snapped so vehemently that Lutaz drew back in surprise.

Razzle laughed. -Don't forget that our Puppy was raised by wild animals, Professor. You can never be quite sure what might constitute an attack with him.-

-An attack?- Lutaz repeated incredulously. -It's a medicine dispenser, not a weapon.-

-It draws blood.- Razzle stated simply.

Jesse blinked. Yes. Yes, it did! Why hadn't he realised that before?

-Right, if you are so smart, why don't you tell me how to stop having nightmares next?- He challenged. -That'd be really helpful so we can all sleep tonight.-

-Well, why do you have nightmares?- Razzle asked.

He wasn't taking the suggestion seriously, was he?

-I don't know!- Jesse snapped.

-That might be the problem then.- Lutaz pointed out sagely.

Razzle shot Lutaz a slightly exasperated glance. -So what do you dream about then?-

-That's none of your business.- Think about that. Think about that. Jesse got up and left.

-Whatever it is.- Lutaz stated. -It won't stop until he stops running from it.-

-It was another attack.- Razzle explained just as calmly. -No literal blood, but he feels threatened when you start poking at any sore points. I suppose he thinks we're exploring them as points of attack.-

-Well, thanks for deliberately driving him off then.- Jean Claude snapped. -I've only not had a chance to actually talk with my companion for a year. Why would I mind at all.-

Lutaz and Razzle ignored him.

-What's with his other hand? He's hiding that in a glove.- Lutaz asked.

-Oh, nothing much.- Razzle replied. -Nemesis had a glyph cut into it. I suppose he thinks it's ugly.-

-Nemesis what?- Jean Claude yelped. -Why am I the last to know all that?-

-You're not.- Razzle said. -I was there when it happened. You were at home grieving. Here's a revolutionary new idea, though: You could have asked Jesse about his trial. Maybe he'd have told you.-

-Except that the only chance I've had to see him before right now when you drove him away he was delirious.- Jean Claude snarled.

-Is it possible you haven't heard of another newfangled thing yet? It's called mail. You use a projector to ...-

Jean Claude too got up and walked out in a manner so much resembling Jesse's that Lutaz had to laugh.

-Cute pair of cubs you've got there. They certainly go together well.- He commented.

-And you don't even know the best part, yet.- Razzle said. -Istar doesn't want his baby boy hanging out with a half-Fleshling. Either of his baby boys.- He grinned.

-You shouldn't provoke the Devil, you know.- Lutaz reminded him, though of course he knew Razzle would do as Razzle would do and usually Razzle knew exactly just how far he could go.

Right now he wasn't entirely sure he could trust him not to ... well, maybe not exactly miss the warning signs, but dash on past regardless. As far as Lutaz knew denying him the dorm was the first time that Razzle had ever outright challenged Istar and he said he'd done that to protect Jesse. So far so good.

Of course a dorm elder had to protect his dormmates and if you couldn't guarantee the safety of an already accepted member, if you let another join, then obviously you couldn't accept the second comer. There were ways to do it politely, though and the tale of Razzle closing the door in Istar's face that was all over the base certainly didn't sound like he'd made any effort to be polite about it at all, even when allowing for the usual exaggeration of such gossip.

Besides, Lutaz and Razzle had spent a lot of time working together yesterday and this morning and it had left him quite sure that Razzle wasn't quite himself. He was trying to distract himself from something; if necessary by a head on collision with Istar.

Lutaz didn't have Razzle's own intuition concerning people, but he had something else: a good basic knowledge of psychology. The theory of psychology at least. So he'd asked.

Razzle said that Gattler's absence was bothering him. That couldn't be helped.

Razzle said he was worried about Jesse. That Lutaz had thought he could help, especially since there the problem had seemed to be of a simple physical medical nature. Unfortunately Jesse had just taught him better. He'd have to get past the psychological problem of Jesse not wanting him to check his bracelet first.

Razzle said he was worried about Jean Claude. That, in Lutaz's opinion, also couldn't be helped. As far as he was concerned, he was quite pleased to see how little damage Istar's children seemed to have suffered all things considered. Jean Claude was probably doing as well as he ever would and could.

When Razzle had said that he was worried about Point Lutaz had almost been ready to give up. Razzle appeared to worry about everybody really. Seriously, Point was fine. He was old enough to handle his own problems and for all Lutaz knew he didn't even have any.

He'd told Razzle to leave well enough alone.

-Likewise. Let us worry about this attack plan for a little while.- Razzle had replied. -So afterwards I can go back to worrying about you.-

Lutaz hoped that last bit had been a joke, though. His only problem at the moment was Razzle! And that only because being his dorm elder he'd probably draw Lutaz himself into the trouble he was buying with Istar once the shit hit the fan.


	4. Chapter 3: World of Tears

Disclaimer 1: This is fanfic. That means I do not own any of it. I just borrow it to play with for a little while and let people see the pathetic results if they really want to.

Disclaimer 2: I'm not making any money from it. It's just for fun.

Disclaimer 3: What isn't borrowed is all made up. None of this is real or most likely at all realistic. Please don't trust any of the information in here. Most likely you know more about whatever I'm writing about than I do.

Disclaimer 4: Attitudes, views and opinions expressed by the characters or in the story are not necessarily those of the author. Even when writing Science Fiction or Fantasy I do not tend to attempt to create perfect/better worlds in which everybody gets a happy end ... or whatever is best for them. Please accept that some characters will have a bad ending or be unhappy.

Disclaimer 5: I intend no insult to anyone. If I offend anyone I'm very sorry. Please understand that it was an accident as I tend to be very clumsy in these things.

A/N: Here's another chapter for you ... if anyone is actually reading this. If not ... well, I still enjoy writing it and maybe someday somebody will find it.

Chapter 3: World of Tears

After the storm-out at lunch Lutaz was quite surprised when Jesse joined them in Razzle's office less than an hour later, still in a rather aggressive mood, but ready to work. Surprised and a little annoyed, to be exact. He didn't see what a nineteen year old boy who'd never even seen Arthame could possibly contribute to the matter at hand.

Besides Jesse seemed determined to turn the meeting into a verbal sparring match. Lutaz tried to diffuse the situation. Razzle gave as good as he got.

After a while Lutaz leaned back to watch and was surprised yet again. These two seemed almost evenly matched and somehow they were getting some work done while they were at it.

When they'd told him Jesse was a brilliant strategist he'd laughed and assumed they'd meant he was rather talented for a child his age. He'd forgotten that this child had had several years of practical experience and Jesse's great-great-grandfather had been the best strategist of his time. Perhaps the blood of the Atheze wasn't running quite as thin as he'd thought, yet.

And perhaps Razzle was right to worry in this case. It would be a waste to let such a mind drown in alcoholism and who knew what other addictions the boy might pick up on his way down if left unchecked. Perhaps with patience and very friendly treatment this wild child might become tame enough to let himself be treated after all?

Lutaz decided to make an effort.

Jesse snapped at him a few more times, but he remained unfailingly friendly.

The half-Fleshling reacted by moving his seat closer to Razzle.

Razzle appeared to be thoroughly amused and continued to be sarcastic.

It wasn't fair! Lutaz almost suspected that if Razzle casually asked to see that bracelet now Jesse might actually let him. That however would be useless. The best Razzle would be able to do was take the bracelet apart, name all its parts and explain the mechanical principles behind its function.

Lutaz ... well, was probably able to take it apart as well, but that's where any such attempt would have ended with him. He neither cared about the mechanics of it nor did he have any use for such information. What he wanted to know was what was in it, and how much of it. That information would tell him a lot about Jesse's condition, but all Razzle would be able to tell him was that it was crystals. He knew that without looking.

Unless of course the bracelet was actually empty and only remained because Moku intended to do several more blood checks over the next days for which he didn't want to use up a new bracelet every time. Considering Jesse's dislike of the device he might very well get troublesome when being fitted with a fresh bracelet, so leaving one on as long as possible if there was any chance at all that it might be needed again might be advisable.

Jesse meanwhile had come to the conclusion that he didn't trust Lutaz one bit. This stranger was acting far too nicely even when provoked. Clearly he had ulterior motives. Jesse decided to keep his distance from him as best he could.

He didn't regret coming to the meeting however. It would have been worth it for the information on Arthame he learned from it alone.

The world's climate appeared to be mostly tropic, its vegetation was predominantly red and with the exception of the oceans pretty much everywhere seemed to be overgrown with dense jungle. A whole series of vaccinations would be required for everybody who was to set foot on the world and even then there was a serious danger they'd suffer heat-strokes or ... adverse reactions to drinking the planet's water.

This put Gattler's frequent sick leaves in an entirely new light. Was it possible that they were simply due to his body not being able to cope well with the generally pleasant and mild artificial climate of the Warworld because he was used to the harsher, but very different conditions he'd grown up under? Was his immune system simply confused by the lack of whatever polluted the water on Arthame? Was he cold in their comfortably tempered dorm? Was the air to dry for him?

Razzle casually pointed out the locations of the seats of house Uthen and house Goura, the main agricultural settlements and capital ... villages. With few more inhabitants than a large clan had members they really didn't deserve to be called cities.

-We don't want to hit the agricultural installations.- Razzle noted. -At least not badly. The more we damage them the less food they'll be able to supply.-

-What of military installations?- Jesse asked. -There has to be something there that's going to fight back, right?-

-There is a sort of military base in the Uthen capital. At the southern end, if I remember correctly.- Razzle replied. -Each of the houses must have its training facility, which would be equipped with weapons, but they are both small houses. There's no telling what forces Ettar will have placed there, though. If I were him I'd station flyers on each continent, many small and fast strike-forces that won't be hindered by the vegetation the way ground vehicles would, but can disappear into it easily.-

-It looks like a good place for guerilla warfare.- Jesse agreed. -Where exactly are those training facilities? The only colony clan complex I know is that of my own clan and well, it isn't built in a jungle. I expect Arthamesz architecture will be adapted to the planet?-

Razzle drew a very neat sketch of a floor plan on a piece of paper ... using a ruler and marking doors and windows and everything!

-That's the Uthen complex.- He said. -Or my best guess at it in any case. I've never actually seen it after all.-

Jesse took another look at the neatly marked windows and doors. There even were some garden paths in the sketch!

-You haven't?- Lutaz asked incredulously. -But you described so much of it!-

-I've seen pictures.- Razzle said with a shrug. -And Gattler's told me a lot about it, but I have never actually been on Arthame.-

-And yet, I believe someone once told me Gattler's visited your place more than once.- Jesse remembered.

Another shrug. -It's close by and he was already on this world. It saved him money for accommodation and didn't cost me anything. A space trip on the other hand would have been very expensive.-

Still going home for a holiday never seemed to be a problem for any of the officers from the colonies, Jesse remembered. House Elhessar definitely owned a spaceship despite being an old blood clan, but then Jean Claude had once said that they were better off than many other old blood clans. Maybe Razzle's clan could no longer afford such luxuries, but Gattler's clan was filthy rich even by colony standards and taking an extra passenger on a house owned ship if you were going home anyway couldn't really be expensive. Had Gattler not wanted to show Razzle his home-world or had Razzle been too proud to accept a gift he couldn't have afforded himself?

If it was the first, was there something hidden on Arthame that Gattler didn't want, or wasn't allowed, to let Razzle see? Remembering just how close the friendship between those two had always seemed to him Jesse thought that the later was the more likely explanation. If Afrar Sesta refused to permit it, then Gattler couldn't bring Razzle into his clan's home no matter how much he wanted to.

-Did he ever offer?- He asked after pondering the problem for a while.

-Did who offer what?- Lutaz asked.

The conversation had moved on while Jesse had been thinking.

-Gattler. Did he offer to invite you? I mean, even if he knew it wasn't likely you'd ever take such an expensive trip, it seems to me that it would only have been polite to offer to reciprocate if you ever happened to be on Arthame.-

-Not that I remember.- Razzle said. -But it really wasn't a big thing. I wasn't expecting anything in return.-

-I was just wondering that, if he never did invite anyone, maybe he was forbidden.- Jesse explained. -That perhaps there is something on Arthame they don't want people to see. Some secret weapon for example?-

Razzle shook his head. -No. There is something they would be embarrassed to have others see, but it's not a military secret.-

-Oh?- Said Lutaz. -Then what is it?-

-Nothing of any military relevance.- Razzle snapped.

-Pretty much everything can be of military relevance.- Jesse pointed out. -And we'll be going there and seeing it soon enough. At least give us a hint.-

-I already did.- Razzle said very unwillingly. -It's a very unhealthy world. They are ashamed of how sickly their population is. That's all.-

The last two words were snarled so vehemently that Jesse decided to back off even though he was now convinced that that definitely was not all there was to it. Clearly the Arthameze could have trusted Razzle to see their world. He'd protect their secret as well as Gattler himself would.

-Few and sickly inhabitants.- Lutaz smiled. -Sounds like the world's easy pickings.-

-If Ettar hasn't enforced it.- Jesse pointed out. -And seeing how obvious it is that our first strike will be against it, he'd have to be about as stupid as Ramszet not to.-

-But any troops stationed there will be exposed to the same things that make the population so sickly.- Lutaz pointed out. -With the additional disadvantage that they aren't used to it. They'll be even sicklier than the natives.-

-Not everything that makes the Arthameze sickly is that fast-acting.- Razzle stated. -Some things wear you down over years, others only show a long period after infection and others again are only present during certain times of the year.-

"Malaria." Jesse realised, or thought he did in any case.

-What?- Lutaz didn't know any English and Razzle nothing about medicine.

-A Fleshling illness that you get from the bites of tropical insects.- Jesse explained. -I think it only occurs in the rainy season and it has a tendency to recur even years after the last attack.-

-Close enough for our purposes.- Razzle decided. -Things like that 'Malaria' will be more prevailing in the native population than in the newly stationed troops at first and we don't have time to wait for them to get sick. Our own troops will weaken from hunger first.-

-And the challenge isn't just taking Arthame.- Jesse added. -We've got to hold it, too. Then we'll be the ones with the sick troops. You're the medical expert here, Lutaz, aren't you? Maybe you ought to look into what we're going to do with it once we have taken it.-

That silenced Lutaz.

-You two again!- Jean Claude snapped at Razzle and Lutaz when they arrived in the mess for dinner.

-What are we doing wrong now?- Lutaz asked perplexed, but Jean Claude didn't stop to explain.

He grabbed Jesse's arm and pulled him to the other end of the table.

-What the hell?- Jesse asked him, but followed. -What's the matter with you?-

-They keep stealing you.- Jean Claude declared. -And I've got better rights.-

-Last I checked I still belonged to myself and it was Nemesis who assigned us to work together.- Jesse pointed out. -Based on that assignment, I went and worked with them. I don't see how that's them stealing me.-

-I looked for you in your office and you weren't there.- Jean Claude explained. -Several times this afternoon.-

-We were working in Razzlesz office. Which is right across from mine. You could have tried there. I doubt Razzle would have bitten your head off.- He might have said something nasty, though, but Jesse wasn't in the mood to let that count.

-Yes, what's up with the new office anyway?- Jean Claude demanded.

-The other corridor was out of use and covered in dust when I got here. Besides they'd packed up all my stuff. It didn't make any difference where I unpacked.-

-It is a much better location.- Jean Claude allowed. -But why right across from Razzle?-

-Why not?- Jesse asked. -It was Nemosz idea actually, but I don't mind. I've gotten used to Razzle, you know. He's ...-

And then he realised that he didn't know how to continue. Razzle had been kind when he'd been feeling so awfully sick and he'd helped him through his trial, too. The trial for causing the fires and explosions that had killed members of Jean Claude's own clan. And Jesse still didn't know which ones. He'd met them all, though, had probably talked and shared food with them ...

-I'm so sorry, Jean Claude, so very sorry.- He hid his face in his hands again. That position was becoming almost characteristic of him a small detached part of his brain noted.

Jean Claude stared at him unable to interpret the sudden change of mood and topic. He didn't share either Razzle's talent or Lutaz's training to read people and was thoroughly perplexed.

-Um, sorry for what, Jesse?- He asked very cautiously putting a hand on Jesse's shoulder. -For moving your office? For hanging out with Razzle? For asking him to your trial?-

The hand wasn't shrugged off, which he took as a sign that it wasn't unwelcome, or at least not unbearable.

-You know, I was a little unhappy with that.- He admitted after a moment. -But I can see your point. I've never been to a trial, after all, and Razzle. Well, I think, he may have seen even more of them than battles. Lots of people ask him, he's so damn good at them.-

-Razzle's damn good at a lot of things.- Jesse said. -But I didn't actually mean to ask him. I didn't think you'd want to go and you weren't here anyway, and Gattler was sick. And I don't think I could have handled waiting. It was better to get it over with. Moku just insisted I couldn't simply go alone and Razzle wouldn't let me send him away. You're right, though. He is damn good at trials. I think he had more control over the thing than Nemesis. He'd bought the psychologist, Jean Claude.-

He decided not to mention the judge Razzle had tried to influence. After all Istar had most likely done the same and he didn't want to put Jean Claude on the spot about that.

-We could have helped, too, if you'd given us the time we expected to have.- Jean Claude apparently didn't even know about the incident. -I know Afrar Irozz wanted to.-

So which side had Istar been acting for?

-Are you sure? I thought he must hate me. I fucking hate myself.- He hadn't realised until just then that it was true.

-Well, none of us were exactly happy with what happened, but what can we do? We all make mistakes and in war mistakes all too easily cost lives. It's just damned awful when it's civilian lives.-

-Children's lives.- Jesse stated. -How could I have asked you to the trial when it was for me killing your own relatives? Did you really think I'd be that cruel?-

-You took Razzle.- Jean Claude pointed out. -If you want to see it that way, that was crueller.-

Jesse blinked. -But Razzle didn't lose anybody, did he?-

Jean Claude stared at him. -You don't know?-

Oh shit! -But he wasn't in mourning.-

-He was one of the first that went home, actually.- Jean Claude told him. -While we were still looking for bodies. Two days later he was just suddenly back, said he couldn't handle it and he'd feel better if he had some work to distract him.-

-I had no idea.- Jesse said tonelessly. -He never told me, never said anything that ...-

Or had he? -It doesn't matter whether you knew them. They were only children, and they are dead, because of you. Think about that for a while.-

-Think about that.-

-Think about that.-

He couldn't eat! He pushed his tray away and got up.

-Wait, Jesse! Don't run off again!- Jean Claude shouted.

-I can't handle it, Jean Claude. I need ... I need some time to think.-

-Please Jesse! Don't start drinking again!-

-I won't.- Jesse promised. -I'm just going to the dorm. There's no alcohol there.-

He was sorely tempted when he remembered that he'd have to sleep in the dorm with the others tonight, though. Razzle had said he should just wake them rather than drink, but would he still think so when he was woken up in the middle of the night? Would Lutaz who didn't know Jesse at all think so?

Instead he just lay on his bed and stared at the ceiling trying to reconcile Razzle's kindness to him and his general rough manner with the tale Jean Claude had just told him. Going home to mourn, even avoiding the clean-up operations then coming back because he couldn't stand the inactivity? It sounded haunted, desperate. And yet Razzle had seemed completely alright, had stood up for him at the trial. Had supported him when he couldn't have gone on himself.

Of course there had been some time between the actual events and the trial. Could it be that Razzle had recovered completely that quickly?

He didn't get all that much time to ponder the question before Jean Claude appeared carrying Jesse's food tray.

-I thought maybe you can eat here? Or perhaps in a little while?- He suggested.

Jesse shook his head.

-I'm really sorry.- He said once again.

Jean Claude sighed. -Apologising again? How about finally telling me what for.-

-For ... Yuma. For ... everything.-

-Oh, but Jesse, that's ... well, not forgotten. I don't think anyone who was there will ever be able to forget that. But you've been punished, the damage is repaired and we've got Rukkat now. We don't need Yuma.-

-That won't bring back the dead.-

-No, but ... Try not to think about it so much, alright?-

Jesse nodded mutely, but he was still staring at the ceiling. Jean Claude didn't like that at all.

-Razzle said you got a glyph.- He ventured for want of any better topic.

Jesse drew his gloved left hand close to his chest and covered it with the right one that still had the colourful piece of cloth tied around the wrist. Two hidden scars it flashed through Jean Claude's mind. But what could he do about either?

-Let me see?-

Jesse shook his head.

-Tell me what it says then?-

Another shake and then -It's not common knowledge?- very softly.

-No. I didn't know at all until Lutaz asked about the glove.-

The colourful hand pressed down harder. -Nemo knew.-

-Well, of course Nemo would. He was there.- Jean Claude told him.

-No, he wasn't. He might be small and plain looking, but there weren't a lot of people, just Razzle, me, Nemesis and the other two judges and the three experts. And two guards. You're not going to claim he was one of the guards, are you?-

-No, but he will have gotten it straight from Nemesis right after the event.- Jean Claude decided. -Who do you think probably filed the report?-

-Oh.-

-He isn't a bad guy, you know.- Jean Claude continued. -We used to be really good friends once. It's just that he's so close to His Nastiness now that one can't confide in him anymore.-

-He seems mischievous.- Jesse said. -But not actually nasty.-

-He has a nasty side, though. Very nasty.- Jean Claude warned. -So, do you think you can eat now?-

Jesse rolled over onto his side and eyed the food tray without much interest.

-Tell me just one last thing?-

-What?- Jean Claude asked clearly unaware what was coming.

Jesse steeled himself. He'd never be able to be really comfortable with Jean Claude again until he knew.

-Who died? Whom did I kill?-

-What?- Aghast at first, then: -Oh, of Razzle's family, you mean?-

Family, not clan. So it had been at least a fourth cousin.

-And of yours. Gattler couldn't remember the names, you see, only that he'd never met them and Razzle ... Razzle told me I ... didn't deserve to know, but ... It hurts, Jean Claude. It hurts so much I need to know no matter whether I deserve to or not.-

-Of my clan Taiden and Torr. We thought for a while that Taret would die as well, but he's fine. Only kept a few scars.-

-Were they ... brothers?-

-Taiden and Torr? No, purely coincidentally both of T-lines. Taiden and Taret were brothers actually, but well, Taret's really fine. Oh, and you might also remember Artz.-

-Cainsz sword fighting partner.- Yes, Jesse remembered him well.

-He's dead, too. But he was a commoner.-

It still bothered Jesse, though not as much as Taiden. Taiden had been Jean Claude's dormmate at home and had frequently joined them when he'd visited. He'd made Jesse a little uncomfortable with his occasional racist remarks, but to think that he was dead ...

-As for Razzle, I don't know the full list of everybody they lost, but I do know the one that hit him so hard was Kiervie.-

-Who is ... was Kiervie?-

-Razzlesz daughter, his youngest child, and the only girl, too.-

-Another child.- Jesse sobbed. -Why'd it have to be the children?-

-Oh no! No, Jesse, no! Kiervie wasn't a child. She was 21. She ...- Jean Claude didn't get any further than that.

-What the hell do you think you're doing!- Razzle had arrived. And heard.

-I'm just ...- Jean Claude started, but Razzle shut him up with a slap in the face as Jesse so far had only ever seen adult Outriders give children.

-Did you really think Jesse needed to know that? And now? After what he's just been through? Some kind of friend you are!-

Then he simply walked past Jean Claude and sat down on Jesse's bed, in exactly the same position as three days earlier when Jesse had been sick. After a moment Jean Claude followed him, peacefully to Jesse's surprise. He'd never have thought that the young Cat-Of-War would tolerate a slap like that from anyone other than one of his Afrare and he could have broken a few of Razzle's bones for it quite easily. He'd done it before.

He too, tried to sit on the bed, but Razzle pushed him back.

-Don't you think you've done enough damage for one day? Leave us alone.- He said still as furious as before.

And still Jean Claude didn't attack, but just slunk away quietly.

Jesse wished he could tell Razzle that it really wasn't Jean Claude's fault, but he was crying too hard to speak now and no matter how much he fought it it just wouldn't stop, so after a while he just curled up and let the tears run freely while Razzle rubbed his back gently. It wasn't until he'd almost cried himself out completely that he realised that not all the sobs in the room were his own.

He was running through a tunnel of fire. Which way was the computer? He had to find it but he'd gotten turned around in the maze of burning corridors and all he could see were flames. There was a girl, no a young woman standing in the corridor ahead of him staring into the flames.

No, no, run away! But he couldn't shout and she didn't move and then the ceiling fell in!

Jesse sat up with a scream and found that he was surrounded by darkness, no flames in sight, and grumbling voices.

-What's going on?-

-Jesse?-

-I'm sorry.- He gasped. -Really sorry. Just a nightmare. Just ... just go back to sleep. Everything's fine.-

-Ah yes, those nightmares.- Lutaz grumbled. -Well, at least we were warned.-

Jesse rolled over to try to go back to sleep again himself, but then he felt his bed dip slightly.

-You okay, Puppy?-

He nodded, but unsure whether Razzle could see it added after a moment. -Fine. It wasn't really bad. I can handle it. It's just that I'll keep waking everybody up.-

-That's why you screamed.- Razzle stated calmly.

-What?-

-Because it wasn't at all bad. Of course not.-

-No really, this was a mild one and I'm going back to sleep now. Go get some sleep yourself while you can.-

Razzle petted his shoulder before taking that advice, but then the dorm was silent again. Jesse closed his eyes and forced himself to relax.

He was hammering away at the computer, there was a sudden flash of fire and then Ramrod was coming right at him running through a sea of children, crushing small bodies with every step and the blood was rising up to drown him.

-NOOOOO!-

This time the light came on.

-Sorry.- Jesse mumbled. -Nightmare.-

-Seriously?- Gaspar asked. -Twice in one night?-

Jesse nodded. At least they could all see that now. Thanks to Lutaz it appeared. At least he was standing close to the switch.

-That's the record, though. I don't think I've ever woken up thrice in one night.- He promised.

-Nevertheless we'll have to do something about that.- Lutaz announced. -Tell me Puppy, did the nightmares start with the drinking or did they come with the withdrawal symptoms?-

Jesse forced a laugh. -You're way off the mark, doctor. I started drinking because of the nightmares.-

-Are you sure they can't have been the first symptom of addiction you noticed? Usually it takes the patient a lot longer than an outsider to notice that his alcohol consumption has become problematic.-

-Quite sure, you fool. I didn't drink any alcohol at all before the dreams started and didn't you hear what I just said: I started consuming problematic amounts of alcohol on purpose! I fucking knew what I was doing. Drinking myself into a coma was the only way to stop the gods-damned dreams. Don't you understand? This will keep happening until none of you cares one bit what becomes of me anymore if only you can get some uninterrupted sleep again.- He realised that he was shouting and took a few deep breaths to calm himself. -Maybe I should just sleep in my office.-

-And take up drinking again for lack of company?- Razzle snapped. -I think not. We'll have to put up with the problem until either Iktrz figures it out or it wears off on its own. Lights out, Professor, and everybody back to bed.-

-You wanted to see me, Sir?-

Ettar's head came up in surprise at the address and Gattler remembered too late that there never had been much formality between them in the past. Perhaps it was for the best, though. Their situations had changed a lot and Gattler was not at all comfortable around his old friend now. In his opinion house Zystin had dragged them all into a fine mess and no matter who won it would cost them dearly, but Afrar Sesta didn't see it that way.

Or maybe he did? What he'd actually said when Gattler had approached him about it had sounded pretty fatalistic: -We're doomed if we do and doomed if we don't. Either way our home-world is about to become a battleground. There won't be any staying neutral for us. Our best hope is to pick the stronger side and hope we can survive until it wins.-

But was Ettar's really the stronger side? Gattler wished he could have asked Razzle. Or Lutaz. Or Jesse for that matter. In fact, Jesse would probably have been the best choice. Razzle's and Lutaz's clans both would most likely have to stand or fall with Nemesis. Jesse had always stood by himself and he could still lean on his ties with house Elhessar, if Artez should fall.

Gattler didn't think Jesse was quite as able as Razzle to judge the situation, at least not yet. He was still too young and didn't know all the players as well, but Razzle had often said that Jesse had a good head for this sort of thing and might well grow up to be even better at it than he himself was.

But Gattler himself was no seer or whatever Razzle and Jesse would call their prophetic skills, Razzle was now supposed to be his enemy, Lutaz was on Rukkat which was suddenly enemy territory, and the gods only knew where Jesse was. He could only wait and pray that Afrar Sesta had chosen right. But did that mean pray for Razzle's and Nemesis' deaths?

He didn't do that. He'd probably thought more spontaneous prayers these last few days than he had in the last two or three years before that, but not one of them had been for his side to win the war. No, without ever having resolved to do so he kept praying that by some miracle all his friends on both sides would survive the whole damned mess. Unfortunately it seemed too much to ask for.

-I want your opinion on Artezsz half-blood brat.- Ettar explained. -You've shared a dorm with him. I've only ever seen him in the council.-

-Jesse?- House Artez had more than one half-blood 'brat' as Ettar put it, but Gattler only actually knew the one and the others were utterly irrelevant anyway.

-Yes.- Ettar said. -Would you believe Afrar Hiretz sent him clear orders to join us and he little rat simply ignored them? What do you make of that I ask you?-

-It's just like Jesse actually. He's crap at obeying orders. Razzle said he likes to demonstrate his independence and it actually proves he's a strong leader.-

-Razzle said.- Ettar frowned. -It's always Razzle says with you.-

-Razzle's smart like that.- Gattler pointed out. -I'm not. I don't get people that well, and Jesse's complicated. Do we know where he is?-

If Jesse had found a place to sit the whole mess out ... but no, Gattler couldn't just pack up his clan and planet and pull them out of harm's way. It was so much easier for Jesse who had no such close ties.

-Slipped under Elhessarsz wings it appears. The little crooks on Ishara claim Irstz Elhessar came in person and fetched him.- Ettar replied. -Of course Nemesis will throw everything at us that he can get a hold of, but I've heard a lot of gushing about the brat and I'd like to know what I'm up against. So I sent for you. They tell me of all that we have you ought to know him best.-

So Jesse hadn't just avoided being drawn in with his clan, he'd chosen the other side. Obviously he was very confident that Nemesis would win. Then Afrar Sesta had misjudged. Or could Jesse have? He was awfully young after all ...

-He is very young. Still not even of age, I believe, though Fleshlings mature more quickly than we do, so you could think of him as a very young adult, I suppose.- He offered. -He's small. That makes him look younger, but it's actually because Fleshlings are smaller than us. Takes after his mother's race in that. He has the typical teal Artez hair, though.-

-I know what he looks like, Wolf.- Ettar reminded him. -But what is he like in battle?-

-Fast, but not as fast as Point.- Gattler replied obediently. -Weaker, too, and too light to do much damage, though Ra ...-

-Razzle says?- Ettar prompted.

-That he'll outgrow that. He's a fiery little thing in any case. Comes at you fast, but if you know he's coming all you've got to do is stand your ground and pin him down with your weight. He's quite dangerous if you let him take you by surprise, though.-

Ettar sighed. -I'm not planning to go hand to hand with him. What is he like as a Commander? What should I expect of his troops? Where is he likely to be used?-

Who did Ettar think he was talking to? Gattler was no prophet. He left those tricks to Razzle, thank you very much.

-He likes fast flying units?- He suggested. -Not so good with Razzlesz heavy infantry. That's the difference between them, Razzle says. But he can handle them if you make him. Everything else, too. He just prefers everything that's fast and agile.-

-Hold on, what was that?-

-He likes fast and agile troops?- Gattler repeated.

-No, no, before that.- Ettar shook his hand impatiently. -Did you say Razzle says the only difference between himself and Jesse is the type of troops they prefer?-

-Not the only difference.- Gattler corrected and Ettar breathed a sigh of relief. -Jesse is also a lot younger and less experienced.-

Ettar grimaced and started to pace.

-Younger isn't necessarily a disadvantage.- He said. -Less experienced ... less experienced ... what do we know of Razzlesz early career?-

-It was pretty slow at first, because nobody wanted to promote a shadow child.- Gattler offered.

-But he was good enough to get promoted anyway.- Ettar grumbled. -I don't like it. I don't like the idea that Nemesis has two Razzles. We'll have to try to take one of them out, if we get the chance.-

-Take ... You can't mean ...-

-They have chosen to stand against us, Wolf, against their friends and natural allies.- Ettar said coldly. -They deserve to die for this betrayal.-

He nodded silently. By his Afrar's orders he had to serve this man after all, and if they won Ettar would probably become His Nastiness and ... and Nemesis, Razzle and Jesse would be dead.

And perhaps Jesse could be called a traitor to his clan, Gattler mused. The accusation probably wouldn't hurt him either. He already was a traitor to his mother's race, so why not to his father's clan as well?

But he was loyal to His Nastiness, as was Razzle. And really, what choice had Razzle had but stand by his old blood clan?

And what choice had Gattler had?

The one Jesse had made. Perhaps he should have done the same after all, turn his back on his clan and stand by his friends? Then he wouldn't have to contemplate killing them now.

But what of Grammis? Or even Ettar himself? He had friends on this side, too, even if Ettar currently scared him.

-Why did you start this?- He whispered to the empty space where Ettar had last stood before he'd walked out. -Why did you ever start this?-

Iktrz had apparently developed an interest in Fleshling funeral customs overnight. He made Jesse tell him all about his parents' death and the aftermath.

-So you really had no other family?- He asked. -I mean, surely your parents must have had parents?-

-Of course they must have.- Jesse confirmed. -But I know nothing about them. I suppose they must have already been dead, too.-

-But didn't they have any other children besides your parents? Surely you must have at least one aunt or uncle?-

-Not that I know of. Maybe both my parents were only children.-

-Is that common among Fleshlings? I thought they were an expanding race. That usually means a rather high reproductive rate.-

Jesse shrugged. -It might be a regional thing. My parents were settlers on the New Frontier. I don't know where they came from, though. It might well have been a rather overpopulated area where there was little room for children.-

-Didn't you ever care to find out? Didn't you wonder why nobody came to claim you?-

-No.- Jesse said, and it was the honest truth. It had never occurred to him that anyone other than the orphanage might take him. -Nobody ever came for any of the other orphans either.-

Silence.

-Were there a lot of them?- Iktrz asked finally.

-No, not that many. It was a thinly populated area, after all, so there were only somewhere between three and four hundred of us.-

-Three to four hundred ... on that one planet?-

-What? Oh no! Just in the district. There must have been several hundred districts, each with at least one orphanage.-

Iktrz's eyes grew very wide. He swallowed, blinked, wiped his eyes, swallowed again. And then he told Jesse that he could go, even though their time wasn't up yet. Jesse decided to consider it a victory, even though he wasn't sure how he'd won it.

He'd only just returned to his office and opened up his personnel files when Razzle walked in, though.

-So, are you going to train with us today, or do you intend to pretend you're on sick leave until Moku takes that bracelet off you?- He asked pointedly.

Training?

-Urgh. This schedule isn't working.- Jesse realised. -I ought to only just be leaving Iktrz office and I've got new personnel to sort out.-

-You can do that after lunch.- Razzle suggested. -Come on now. You've done nothing but sit around and laze off in bed since you returned from Ishara and I doubt you got much exercise there either. Do you want to be fit for the first battles or not?-

Jesse frowned. -Granted about the exercise, but you know what? I actually learned how to fix a door mechanism there.-

-Oh really?- Razzle sneered.

-Well, at least I poked around and got several doors to work again when they wouldn't close.- Jesse admitted. -But the guys thought I was quite a hero for it. We were probably lucky none of them ever got stuck in closed position, though.-

Razzle laughed.

-What?-

-They're designed to avoid that. I'll tell you something, though. If you beat me today, I'll show you how to open a locked door. Guaranteed to work even if the mechanism's dead.-

-Right. I'm not naive enough to fall for that anymore.-

-What? The trick's good and easy if you know how. Even clumsy little Puppies can do it.-

-Yeah, but this clumsy little Puppy has precious little chance of beating you when it is in top form. It certainly isn't going to in the shape it's in right now.-

-Oh fine then. Give it your best shot, I'll show you how door mechanisms work, but you'll have to figure out what to do with that information on your own.-

It had to be the weirdest deal he'd ever made in his life, Jesse thought on the way down to the gym. He wasn't even sure why he'd want the information, except that he was just a little curious about Outrider technology. It was so very different from what he'd learned of Fleshling technology as a boy.

But how in the world had Razzle guessed that mild curiosity? What had prompted him to offer that of all things?

The fact that he'd made a deal was the only thing that stopped him from turning straight back around and returning to his office when he realised that the group that would see him fail pathetically today included not only old companions that had all seen him lose many times before, but also Lutaz. Admitting to being hopelessly out of shape and being teased for it by Jean Claude, Point and Gaspar, and of course Razzle who already knew, was one thing, but Lutaz the stranger, that would be embarrassing.

But he had promised Razzle and turning back now would be cowardly. Maybe if he were drunk that wouldn't matter, but he wasn't, so he swallowed his pride ... and what did he have to be proud of anyway? ... and resolved to do the best he could.

Which was more pathetic than he'd feared. Only his determination got him through all of the warm-up exercises. Then he had to give up if he didn't want to end up back in med bay again.

He let himself drop onto an exercise mat, closed his eyes and just concentrated on breathing for a while. To his surprise the others either didn't notice or ignored it. Had they all been expecting it? Gods, what were they thinking of him?!

Then Lutaz joined him on his mat.

Jesse rolled onto his side to put some distance between them and glared at the intruder.

-And just what do you want?- He snapped. -Why don't you just get back to your exercises and leave me alone?-

-Believe it or not, but I'm as beat as you are and this looks comfortable.-

-Can't be.- Jesse complained. -You've got at least two days of exercise on me.-

Lutaz actually laughed. -True, but I've been out of training longer, and I'm a lot older. Got to build up more slowly. And just look at these guys. I want no part of that, thank you.-

Jesse glanced in the direction Lutaz had nodded to and had to concede the point, but then he didn't want any part of what Jean Claude considered a friendly sparring match even when he was in top shape. Poor Point! Though he was making a rather good show of it.

-They're both fast.- He allowed. -And Jean Claude's brutal. I don't think Razzle would make either of us fight him today, though.-

In fact, now that he thought about it, Razzle had always made sure that Jesse didn't end up sparring with Jean Claude. Someday he'd probably decide that Jesse was ready for that, but that day was certainly not today or tomorrow.

-Nah, he ought to make us fight each other.- Lutaz suggested. -I could try to fall on you when I drop from exhaustion and you can try to topple me over by stumbling into me. It'd be an epic match.-

Jesse snorted despite himself.

-Or maybe we could throw insults at each other. Whoever runs out of new curses first loses?- He suggested.

-No thanks, I saw you training that with Razzle yesterday. I don't play in that league.- Lutaz regarded him thoughtfully. -Don't you ever take off that glove? Or ...- He nodded towards Jean Claude's neckcloth.

Jesse once again pulled in both hands covering the neckcloth with the glove.

-I'd rather not have ... that thing catch on anything even during a mock fight. Better it's the cloth that gets torn and not my veins.-

-It's not supposed to be that loose.- Lutaz remarked. -I could tighten it for you, if it is ...-

-No!- Jesse snapped once again on the defensive.

-Alright, alright, I don't mean to force my help on you. I just want you to know that you can come to me if you ever think anything's wrong with 'that thing'. You don't need to go all the way to Moku.-

-Talking about hands.- Jesse said to shift the topic of the conversation into more comfortable channels. -What happened to yours?-

Lutaz glanced down at his burn scars.

-A combination of neglect of duty and utter stupidity, I suppose. When the fires reached the Academy last year some of the fire doors turned out to be dead or blocked and wouldn't close.- He said.

Jesse paled. The fires last year. Fires started by the explosions Ramrod had caused, because Jesse's own stupidity had given him an opening. How many others had been hurt by those fires besides Lutaz?

-Think about that.-

-Think about that.-

-I happened to be close to the main entrance and ... well, I got the door unblocked.- Lutaz continued. -Burned hands were a small price to pay for the lives of all the students that might have died if I hadn't.-

The Academy burning. Jatt and Cato and Carszt and Caibe and the twins on fire, screaming ...

-Think about that.-

-Think about that.-

He couldn't take it! Jesse rolled off the mat and onto his feet and fled from the gym.

-Jesse?-

He ignored the voices calling after him.

-Jesse, what's wrong?-

Steps running behind him. Someone taking him by the shoulders, turning him around.

For a moment Jesse tensed ready to strike, but it was Jean Claude and somehow through all the guilt and pain he was still aware that he ought not to strike Jean Claude. It'd probably hurt a whole damn lot ... himself, not Jean Claude the fully trained Cat-Of-War and son of the Academy's best hand to hand combat teacher.

So instead he gave in, buried his face against Jean Claude's chest and cried. And Jean Claude held him even though he sounded completely nonplussed when he asked. -What the hell did you do to him?-

-Nothing, I swear.- Lutaz's voice assured him. -He asked how I got burned. I told him.-

-Jesse's developing an annoying habit of asking for what he'd be better off not knowing.- Razzle, harsh as usual. Another hand on Jesse's arm. -Give him here.-

Jean Claude's arms tightened.

-No, he's clinging to me. He wants me.-

He sounded a little like a child refusing to put away a favourite toy at bedtime Jesse thought and almost laughed through his tears.

Razzle's hand moved to his back, rubbing gently.

-Oh fine, keep him, if you're so sure you can handle it. But remember that you're answerable to me, if I have to pick up the pieces after you blunder again.-

-Yes Sir.- Jean Claude said meekly, sounding more than ever like a child.

Had something in Razzle's manner reminded him of his father, perhaps? Jesse couldn't remember well enough what it was like to have a father ... well, one that cared and actually acted fatherly at least ... but there definitely had been something fatherly about Razzle when he'd sat on his bed, both the time Jesse had been sick and when he'd been crying.

Of course Razzle actually was a father, or at least had been.

Jesse cried a little more for Kiervie and the fact that he'd never meet her, but the initial shock and pain had passed now. He'd killed over a million people. He'd known that before. He had to live with it and he couldn't spend all the rest of his life crying.

So eventually he stopped and after a little while pushed away from Jean Claude.

-I'm sorry.- He said softly.

-Yes, so you've been telling us since I came here.- Jean Claude said with a sigh. -Gods Jesse, what is wrong with you?-

Jesse lifted his right arm. -Maybe the medicine? No, probably still the alcoholism. Moku said symptoms can persist for two years.-

Maybe then he'd agree to take off the dispenser bracelet? Could he live with two needles in his veins for two years?

-Two years?- Jean Claude didn't seem to like that prospect either.

-You don't have to put up with it.- Jesse reminded him. -If Razzle really doesn't kick me out after a few more disturbed nights, you can always move into your Afrarzs dorm. I bet he won't refuse you.-

-What sort of a friend do you think I am? I won't just abandon you!- Jean Claude seemed honestly offended for a moment, but then very suddenly cooled off and looked contrite. -But I already did, didn't I? Razzle's perfectly right. I should at least have written to ask how the trial went and it never even occurred to me. I'd been told the outcome and ... I just assumed everything was fine and you'd write if you wanted to. I never thought you needed me to tell you that you could.-

Wait, what? Friend? Friend! Now this was a new concept.

Well, not entirely so. There'd been people who'd called themselves Jesse's friends before, and who had abandoned him just as much as Jean Claude had. Except, they'd never come back and told him they felt bad about it. So ... was this real friendship, then? Was the Outrider concept of friendship the same as the Fleshling one? Could Jesse call it friendship? What did he expect of a friend? What did he feel were his duties towards one? And what did Jean Claude expect of him?

And then a memory flashed into his mind, Razzle stepping between Gattler and a furious Nemesis, reminding him that Gattler was sick and whatever punishment His Nastiness had in mind was certainly not going to do him any good.

Of course. That right there was the Outrider concept of friendship. And no, Jesse was pretty sure that he couldn't do that for anyone. He was too selfish for that.

-I'm not much of a friend either, you know.- He told Jean Claude. -You could have chosen someone better.-

Jean Claude regarded him for a moment.

-No.- He said then. -No, I don't think so. It wasn't really a choice, you see. It just happened. I guess we're just right for each other. Besides, what would I do with a perfect friend that never makes a mistake and wouldn't understand my blunder?-

Razzle gave them a very narrow look when they returned to the gym, but said nothing, though that might have been, because he was busy sword-fighting with Lutaz, though Lutaz was once again too winded to be much of a challenge.

Jesse stopped to watch just long enough for Jean Claude to remember that he was also Jesse's sword-fighting teacher and soon he found himself dragged onto the mat as well. He was of course completely out of practise as well as shape and the match didn't go well. It was almost a relief that Gattler wasn't here to comment on his mistakes. Almost. The reason why Gattler wasn't there was like a strangely cold presence in Jesse's mind.

They were at war with their own old companions. Soon they'd be attacking Gattler's home. Would they find him there to defend it? Would Jesse even be part of that attack?

It did seem likely. Point's flying vipers were the troops most ideal for the terrain on Arthame in Jesse's opinion, but his own certainly were second best and Point hadn't been ordered to join the planning.

Then again, Jesse didn't even want to try to imagine Razzle's tanks on a jungle world. The first attempt to move would get them hopelessly entangled in trees and vines and render them absolutely useless. They might as well build stationary gun posts.


	5. Chapter 4: Could you?

Disclaimer 1: This is fanfic. That means I do not own any of it. I just borrow it to play with for a little while and let people see the pathetic results if they really want

Disclaimer 2: I'm not making any money from it. It's just for

Disclaimer 3: What isn't borrowed is all made up. None of this is real or most likely at all realistic. Please don't trust any of the information in here. Most likely you know more about whatever I'm writing about than I

Disclaimer 4: Attitudes, views and opinions expressed by the characters or in the story are not necessarily those of the author. Even when writing Science Fiction or Fantasy I do not tend to attempt to create perfect/better worlds in which everybody gets a happy end ... or whatever is best for them. Please accept that some characters will have a bad ending or be

Disclaimer 5: I intend no insult to anyone. If I offend anyone I'm very sorry. Please understand that it was an accident as I tend to be very clumsy in these

Chapter 4: Could you?

It was a strange homecoming. If they'd still been friends Gattler might have asked Ettar why he'd had to come and meet him in the middle of nowhere if they were only going to Arthame after all. Wouldn't it have been easier if they'd met up here in the first place?

But Ettar was not his friend anymore. Ettar was nobody's friend. He couldn't be if he was capable of ordering Gattler to kill Razzle. That was just too nasty.

Nasty? Was that why His Nastiness always had to be alone?

But Nemesis would never have given him such an order.

Or would he? Of course he never had in the past. They'd always been on the same side until now after all. Killing Razzle wouldn't have made any sense for Nemesis.

Gattler tried to imagine meeting Razzle in battle and ... Could he do it?

He wasn't sure. The attempt to imagine the deed only made his hands shake.

But Ettar had given him an alternative. He could kill Jesse instead.

Could he kill Jesse?

Probably, Gattler thought, though he didn't like to imagine that either. It was still better than killing Razzle and what sort of soldier would he be if he couldn't kill an enemy?

No, he could kill Jesse if he had to! He just didn't think that it was, or would be, necessary.

And even Ettar couldn't blame him if he didn't get close enough to either Jesse or Razzle on the battlefield. Duels Commander against Commander weren't completely unheard of, but far from usual. A battlefield was large and full of soldiers and the Commanders tended to be at opposite ends of it.

Besides, what could Gattler be expected to do about it, if he showed up to kill Razzle and Nemesis sent ... Orat, or Point or ...

Gattler was well aware that he wasn't much of a strategist, but even he could tell that Arthame wasn't a world one ought to attack with heavy infantry. There was no good reason for Nemesis to send Razzle. It would be stupid to use tanks in this terrain.

-Point.- He muttered to himself as the red forests grew larger on the monitor.

-What's that?- Ettar demanded.

-I said Point.- He admitted freely. -That's whom I'd send to attack this world if I had Nemesisz options.-

-Maybe.- Ettar agreed. -But you'd also need someone to protect the space border and that requires a corps of fast space-worthy crafts. Pointsz is the best suited, though Oratsz or Vanquosz will do as well.-

-Or Jessesz.- Gattler suggested.

-If Nemesis puts full trust in him, yes, but that would be unwise. Jesse is a treacherous little rat and if he were to let us pass we could appear anywhere without warning. I doubt that Nemesis is that much of a fool. Jesse would be highly suited for the attack on this world as well and then Nemesis would not have to take as big a risk on his loyalty. Of course conquering Arthame is vital so a trustworthy Commander would be preferable, but if Jesse were to betray him here, Nemesis could still send another in his place and all he'd have lost would be time.-

-Can't use Razzle for either mission.- Gattler ventured. -His tanks aren't spacecraft and Arthame doesn't have much open terrain they could manoeuvre in.-

-True. He'll use Razzle to attack Szurat or Venthe once he has secured Arthame, if we let it come to that. Until then he'll probably station him on Rukkat. Strong guns for a world that doesn't have a lot of permanent defences of its own installed yet.-

-Do you mean to attack it?- Gattler asked. -You already conquered it once and it ought to be fresh in your memory ...-

-We won't need to if we can keep control of Arthame. It won't be necessary and would have little effect. If we can prevent them from getting food they'll have to surrender or starve. If they have Arthame, but lose Rukkat that will only be a moral victory for us. It doesn't have much military value so they could continue to fight just fine. Their real stronghold is still the Warworld.-

-So if we were to lose Arthame ...- He'd be homeless. Or would the clan surrender? They'd capture the civilians most likely.

-We'd have to either win it back or take the Warworld itself.- Ettar stated. -That would get bloody. It is too well armed to fall easily.-

If it did at all. They didn't have another artificial planet to ram it with and even Ramrod had only gotten through its defences because of Jesse's foolish meddling with the computers. Of course that disaster might have left some weak points in the defences that they could exploit, if they could discover them, but still Gattler didn't like the chances of whoever tried to copy that attack.

-It'll be Jesse or Point here.- Ettar declared. -Nothing else would make sense.-

There was fire all around him, but he couldn't run. And then there was the girl again. She was looking at him, but for some reason he couldn't see her face.

-Run!- He tried to shout, but no words came out. He couldn't move at all and the fire was about to consume her!

Suddenly there was another figure. It ran towards them. Lutaz! Oh, Lutaz, save her! Please save her!

Lutaz looked at him, nodded and reached out. He grabbed the girl by both shoulders to pull her away ...

And she burst into flame setting Lutaz's hands ... no, his own hands ... on fire! He was burning! The pain unbearable. He screamed.

And sat up in bed.

-Jesse ...-

-Oh, not again.-

-I ... I'm sorry.- He gasped. -Just another nightmare. Never mind. Just go back to sleep.-

The lights went on.

-What did you dream of?- Lutaz demanded.

Jesse lay back down and closed his eyes. -Really guys, let's just try to sleep again. The light will only wake us all up completely.-

The lights went out and on again and out and on, out and on. Then they stayed on.

-What did you dream of, Jesse?- Lutaz repeated.

-Nothing. Never mind. Go back to bed.-

On, off, on, off, on, off ...

-Lutaz? Could you please stop that?- Razzle sounded pretty grumpy.

-Not until I get a satisfactory answer. What did you dream, Jesse? What made you scream?-

On, off, on, off, on, off ...

-Fire. It was fire, alright!- Jesse shouted. -Just stop this already!-

On.

-What sort of fire?- Lutaz demanded.

-Huh?- What different sorts of fire were there supposed to be?

-Where was the fire?- Lutaz asked.

-I don't know. Everywhere. Some corridor, I suppose ... or maybe the Academy. Yes, I think it was probably supposed to be the fire at the Academy that you told me about. At least, it burned my hands, just like ... just like ... happened to you.-

-Ah yes, I had that dream a few times after it happened as well.- Out. -Good night, Jessepuppy.-

-Hey wait, you had Lutazsz nightmare?- Gaspar asked into the newly returned darkness and silence. -Are you telepathic or something?-

-No.- Lutaz groaned. -He just has a vivid imagination that ran away with what I told him.-

-But you only told him today.- Jean Claude argued. -How can he have dreamed of it before you told him, then?-

-It's not always the same dream.- Jesse explained. -But a lot of them include fires, so my subconscious must have decided that it was a great new element to include.-

-Your who?- Ah, so Point was awake as well. Not that Jesse had thought he could really have slept through all this.

-Subconscious. As far as I can tell that's a part of your brain that thinks stuff without you knowing it and then makes dreams out of it.- Jesse explained.

Silence.

-Does it have any important functions?- Razzle asked.

-Yes!- Barked Lutaz.

-So we can't just deactivate it?-

-No! Just go back to sleep, Razzle, and leave the psychotherapy to me.-

-So much for the technical approach.- Razzle sighed dramatically.

Jesse stuffed his hand into his mouth, but some giggles still escaped and set the others off. All in all it was over an hour before he was finally asleep again. Dreamlessly for the rest of that night at least.

-Say Moku, who's supposed to refill this thing, if I'm sent on the Arthame mission?- Jesse asked the doctor innocently during his check-up the next morning.

-Arthame?- Moku yelped. -Arthame! We're sending a mission to Arthame?-

-Shush, it's not official, yet, but we've been working on possible attack strategies, so it's a likely target. And in the past Nemesis usually sent me on the missions he had me plan.-

-But you have no vaccinations!- Moku got even more agitated.

-It's alright, we already know we need special vaccinations for the native diseases. We'll present the problem to Nemesis and once he decides who's going we'll send them all straight to you for their shots.-

-No, no, you don't understand!- Moku insisted. -You don't have any vaccinations. Not even the standard ones all children get. I never even thought of it before, but of course the Fleshlings would have given you completely different ones. And, if you're going to Arthame, well, you absolutely need this one.-

He brought out a bottle containing a rather suspicious looking reddish-brown liquid which he started to load into the device he usually used to place fresh crystals into the dispenser bracelet. So at least the vaccines would go into the bracelet as well. That was a lot more comfortable than getting shots for every separate one.

-What is that for?- Jesse asked suspiciously anyway.

Moku hesitated. -The thing Gattler has.- He admitted finally. -And yes, I know you've been exposed to Gattler and never caught it. You might well be too old to, but with something that serious it's better to be safe than sorry and Arthame is thoroughly infested with it.-

-But if there's a vaccine and they know their world is infested why didn't Gattlersz parents protect him?-

-Because it was already too late. You can't safely administer the vaccine until at least six weeks after birth and then it takes two more doses over the next three months before the child is completely safe from infection. And since we probably don't have three months before that hare-brained mission, you're getting your first dose now. Let me have that arm again.-

Jesse sighed and held out his wrist. Moku really did administer the vaccine into the bracelet, which Jesse didn't feel at all, but after he'd replaced the neckcloth he began to feel a little dizzy.

Oh well, it wasn't bad and he had to get to the morning strategy meeting.

Jesse made it to the meeting just in time, but by then he was not just feeling a little dizzy, there were black spots dancing before his eyes, he felt drowsy and his head was beginning to hurt.

-Jesse? Are you alright?- Jean Claude asked him when he stumbled into his place in the line.

-I don't know.- Jesse admitted. -Moku decided I needed some standard childhood vaccinations I missed because I wasn't born in this dimension. It's making me awfully dizzy.-

-Just dizzy, or are there any other symptoms?- Lutaz demanded.

Had their conversation been loud enough for the whole room to hear? They were all staring at him, but of course he'd been stumbling, too ...

-Dizzy, tired, headache. I'm sure he'd have said something if it's likely to last long and this stuff's given to babies, dammit.-

-But you are too large for a baby dose and rather small for an adult.- Lutaz was feeling his pulse and Jesse actually tolerated it. -He might have misjudged the dose. And you're part-alien. Maybe one of the vaccines doesn't agree with your Fleshling half. What exactly did he give you?-

Now he was untying the neckcloth. Jesse tried to pull away weakly.

-I need it as a diagnostic aid.- Lutaz insisted. -I'm not a full doctor, you know. What did Moku give you?-

-Just one thing. For whatever it is Gattler has.-

-Gattler? What does Gattler have?-

Lutaz didn't know?

-Don't know. Nobody ever said the name.-

-Well, he's no use to me in the sate he's in and this is holding up the meeting.- Nemesis ordered. -Take him outside and put him in a chair. And maybe give him a glass of water.-

Surprisingly sensible idea, Jesse thought.

-And somebody either fetch Moku or tell me what that thing Gattler has is supposed to be.- Lutaz added.

Razzle stepped forward, cupped his hands over Lutaz's ear and whispered into them.

-What? I...- But Razzle quickly put his hand over his mouth.

-Unless you think it absolutely has to become public knowledge I'd thank you to respect his privacy.- Razzle snarled. -And I believe I'll have to explain that concept to Moku as well.-

He only let go of Lutaz when he nodded.

Lutaz picked Jesse up ... apparently pretty easily despite being old and out of shape ... and carried him to another meeting room nearby that was equipped with chairs.

-Alright, that is rather strong stuff and not usually given to adults, so we don't have a lot of experience with likely reactions. The water should help, though. And tell me immediately if you get any new symptoms.-

-It's given to babies.- Jesse protested one last time.

-They don't get up and walk around afterwards.- Lutaz countered.

-Just brilliant.- Jean Claude said. -Do you think, you could maybe tell me what exactly it is, because I don't think I want my children to get that shot.-

-You don't have any children.- Lutaz reminded him.

-And you do want it, trust me.- Razzle added. -Ask Gattler how much he enjoys his illness, if you don't believe me.-

The water did indeed help a lot and after a little while Jesse's vision cleared. He regarded his three companions thoughtfully.

-Shouldn't you have gone back in?-

Razzle shrugged. -He hasn't sent for us.- He pointed out.

-I'm not leaving you, if Razzle's staying.- Jean Claude declared.

-He can't expect me to return.- Lutaz said calmly. -I'm the only one with any medical knowledge. Of course I'm needed here.-

-To administer Nemesisz prescription.- Jesse remarked.

-He did originally intend to become a doctor.- Razzle said with another shrug.

-Lutaz?- Jesse asked slightly confused.

-No, Nemesis.- Razzle answered.

Oh right, Jean Claude had mentioned that once.

-So he's probably a med officer, too, then.- Jesse concluded.

-He never was an officer at all.- Razzle said. -Believe it or not, before he became His Nastiness Nemesis was nothing more than a simple secretary.-

-I'm not so sure the job's all that simple, you know.- Jean Claude said pointedly. -Jatt certainly didn't want it.-

-Not so surprising when Jesse made him a better offer. Far above his station.- Razzle gave Jesse a disapproving look. -Again.-

-Again? What do you mean by again? I've only ever made Jatt one offer and that because he was begging for a job and I was suffering from a complete lack of Subcommanders. Not to mention delirious.-

-Urak.- Razzle said simply.

-While I know nothing about Urak, whoever that might be.- Lutaz told Razzle. -I can give you my medical opinion that Jesse wasn't in his right mind when he hired Jatt. The matter should have been handled by his second.-

-Didn't you hear what I just said?- Jesse snapped. He didn't like it when people questioned his sanity. -I didn't have anyone even remotely qualified to act as second. I don't really have one now.-

They stared at him.

-No second?- Lutaz repeated incredulously. -You can't do that.-

-Well, obviously I can't make either Jatt or Azpet second.- Jesse explained. -Only Ramszet is theoretically qualified and he doesn't have the brains for it, so he's only nominal. Personally, I'd like to just promote Azpet, but I think it'd give him a heart attack and Razzle would probably mutter about his station. Besides, I want to get Urak back, if I can, so I don't mind keeping the position open in case this revolution blows over in a couple of months.-

-Wouldn't that be nice.- Razzle sneered. -Not bloody likely, Puppy.-

-Did you just snap up a new second and forget the old guy like that, then?- Jesse asked him.

-Didn't have to.- Razzle smirked. -That's the good thing about having at least some of your most vital officers be your own kin. I've never misplaced Kieste, yet.-

-Urak's of my clan as well.- Jesse reminded him. -I never thought I'd lose him.-

Razzle's smirk disappeared very suddenly, and with it the challenging tone in his voice.

-I never thought I'd lose Gattler either.- He said patting Jesse's arm. -At least not this way.-

Moku was very apologetic when Jesse went back to med bay to see Iktrz and reschedule the further vaccinations to after the strategy meetings ... which meant three trips to med bay every second day, Jesse noted with a frown. Maybe he should just move his office here. Or sleep here? That would spare the rest of the dorm the effects of his nightmares.

Iktrz seemed to have recovered from yesterday's shock and be determined to prove that he was made of stronger material than that. He wanted to know all about orphanages in general and Jesse's orphanage in particular even though the answers made him look very pale and shaky.

Jesse couldn't quite resist temptation and informed him of every sexual abuse scandal he'd ever heard of happening in an orphanage.

-And then there's the physical and emotional abuse, of course.- He added happily. -But you wouldn't see the point of that.-

-Why not?- Iktrz asked.

-Why, because you don't have the same ideas of what constitutes abuse as Fleshlings do. They believe that it is detrimental to a child's development to physically hurt them, you see.-

-Why of course it is!-

-Hurt them as in giving them a beating to punish misbehaviour.- Jesse explained. -Though of course at orphanages they'll also just pull you along by the ear to make sure you follow them.-

Iktrz rubbed his ear-tips nervously.

-But of course you won't mind that. Nothing I've ever seen done at the orphanage or the Star Sheriff Academy looked anything near as painful as the things Istar does to train his clan's children.-

Iktrz gasped, spluttered and waved his hands in the air. That certainly was the most interesting thing Jesse had gotten him to do so far.

-Commander! Jesse ... I ... Please!-

-What?-

-Please promise me you'll never take Istar ... or any of the Elhessare ... as your role model for raising your own children. In anything! No matter how small an issue.-

Jesse blinked. -I don't have any children, Iktrz, and I'm not planning on having any anytime soon. Most likely never at all.-

-I ... wh ... Why not?- Iktrz stuttered. -No wait. One thing at a time. I'll just make a note of the having children thing and we'll discuss that at another time. It might be a bit too early in your life anyway. Yes, yes, it definitely is.-

-Right.- said Jesse. -So what's the other issue?-

-Abuse and Istar.- Iktrz said. -That is an awfully complicated topic. The way Istar raises his children is ... Well, house Elhessar has some very old traditions that they insist on maintaining, though they do certainly not meet the latest state of science on optimal child rearing. Their methods are certainly effective for raising excellent soldiers, but ... well, they are not the only clan that has raised excellent officers and the others usually do it without crippling or killing a child every once in a while. And with less psychological damage as well.-

-Both Jean Claude and Jatt seem perfectly fine to me.- Jesse argued.

-You're not a psychologist.- Iktrz pointed out. -Those two are ... functional, but badly scarred. You might do well to look into the way other Outriders raise their children. If you want we can compare the results together and try to figure out what style might suit you best.-

Jesse almost told him that he didn't see the point of working out a strategy to raise children he never planned to have, but then he remembered that this was another topic that could keep Iktrz from pushing him about his nightmares again. So he decided to feign interest.

-I'm not sure anybody would like to take me home to visit their clan for such purposes.- He said. -And right now I certainly can't take a holiday in any case. I don't think there are any clans still raising children on the Warworld are there?-

-No, probably not.- Iktrz confirmed. -But I think you might be able to just ask people to tell you about it.-

-I don't even know who of the people I work with has children.- Jesse commented pensively. -How about you? How many do you have?-

-Only one so far.- Iktrz said. -And he's only three months old, so I could tell you more about how I hope to raise him than any results.-

Ah, that explained how they'd ended up on the topic.

-Well, who out of the people I know would you choose as your role model then?- Jesse asked. -Moku?-

Iktrz blushed. -No, actually ... Actually ... Commander Razzle, but please don't tell him so.-

-Razzle?- Well, that was a surprise. -But he's ...-

-A warrior, yes.- Iktrz finished Jesse's sentence in a completely different way than it had been intended. -And I'm not aiming to raise my children to become soldiers, but then I don't think Razzle did. They just turned out that way, most likely because it's in their blood. But Razzle's also taken a hand in raising several other children over the years and those show quite a variety in their professional choices. There's one thing all those children have in common, though.-

-What's that?-

-They're all extraordinarily free of psychological damage. Not completely, of course, but most of them were badly, almost hopelessly damaged when he first took them in. What he does is ... not easy to copy I'm afraid, but I think with my training I can carry it off. At least well enough for my own not already damaged children.-

Razzle, rescuer of troubled children? Jesse almost laughed out loud at the thought, but then once again remembered how Razzle had put him to bed when he'd been sick.

-He can be very fatherly when he wants to be.- Jesse agreed. -But I'd have thought his personality too abrasive.-

Iktrz shrugged. -His children are used to him and can tell when he's playing and when he isn't and street children are used to people putting up a tough front.-

-Street children?- Jesse wouldn't even have known there was such a thing in Outrider society if he hadn't met some on Ishara. This was the first time he'd heard them mentioned in a normal conversation in decent company ... if he could consider himself decent, but so far Iktrz had always treated him as a noble and a Commander and not as a criminal.

-Runaways mostly.- Iktrz said with a shrug. -Sometimes even social services give up on dragging those back to abusive or neglectful clans. Don't ask me how Razzle got into contact with them. I don't know. He's got a lot of unlikely friends, though.-

-I'd say neglectful rather fits Marzzesz style of child raising.- Jesse said since it seemed they'd exhausted Iktrz's knowledge of street children. -I wouldn't want to copy him. Irzhe's alright, I suppose, except that there are too many of us and we're all rather different and then Marzze insists that we all must be soldiers.-

-So you don't agree with determining a child's path?-

-I don't know. I think I'd be fine with determining it based on the child's potential. You know, putting the ones best suited for an army career into the warrior academy, but if the child's more fit for science he should go to the science academy. Marzze married a scientist and then forced both the children she bore him into the warrior academy even though any fool could have seen how much they take after their mother. That ... bothers me. I'd like ... I'd like to see my siblings be successful in their careers and Cato and Caibe won't ever reach their full potential now.-

-We should talk about your siblings as well someday.- Iktrz remarked making another note. -But for today, I'm afraid we're out of time.-

Which was just what Jesse had been hoping for. He rushed down to the gym which almost left him out of breath to start with. Yes, he really needed this training.

After training he went up to Nemesis' office to give his morning report, a little late, but he decided that until he'd had lunch it was still morning.

-And where is the rest of your group?- Nemesis snapped by way of greeting.

-Having lunch, I suppose.- Jesse replied coolly. -But I have a point that seems urgent to me.-

-Which is?-

-We'll definitely need to land troops on Arthame to take it and keep them there to hold it. And we need to take Arthame soon before we run out of food, right?-

-Of course. You're just stating the obvious, Jesse. If that is all ...- Apparently His Nastiness was hungry, too.

-It isn't.- Jesse interrupted him. -As Moku confirmed very dramatically this morning, Arthame requires specific vaccinations and those take a while to take full effect. If our troops get sick they're useless, so we can't attack until they're all fully protected. So the point I was going to bring up this morning is that we need a decision on what troops are to be used for the mission so we can start vaccinating them.-

-Why did you think I assigned you, Razzle and Lutaz to prepare the strategy? Haven't we always used the same units that were involved in the planning?-

-Our results so far are that Razzlesz troops would be next to useless on Arthame.- Jesse countered. -They can't break through the jungle and the roads are neither wide nor straight enough. I'm not sure what Lutaz has, but based on what I do know the planet's practically screaming for Pointsz Flying Vipers.-

-Razzle has the most knowledge of the world.- Nemesis informed him. -I want him down there at least in the early phases. Later on Lutaz is to be in charge of holding the planet as the challenges to the troops are likely to be of a medical as well as a military nature. Your troops should fit the world well enough.-

-They're ... I have one Subcommander, but he's a complete idiot and two acting Subcommanders one of whom has never even seen battle while the other has never commanded anything before. My troops are recently reorganised and I had to fill the gaps with the dregs of the army. Add to that that I'll need more vaccinations than anybody else and daily medication. And do you expect me to drag Iktrz along?-

-So you expect me to just leave you hanging around the Warworld while everybody else goes out to fight?-

-You'll need to keep some units here to defend the planet.- Jesse stated. -In my current situation that seems to be what I'm best fitted for.-

-Strange words from the boy who once promised me he could conquer the entire New Frontier for me if I gave him any troops at all, no matter how awful their quality.- Nemesis commented.

Was everybody a psychologist these days?

-But in the end I didn't deliver, did I?- He countered. -I seriously overestimated myself and underestimated everybody else.- It hurt to admit that, but it was easier than to explain that he'd love to fight himself, but didn't want to be responsible for anybody else. -I've grown up a little since then. I know that Point's an excellent Commander and more experienced than I am. He doesn't have my knowledge of Fleshling culture, but there'll be no Fleshlings on Arthame and he isn't particularly good at grand scale strategy, but you're also insisting on having Razzle there as well as Lutaz. Either of them could take care of the strategic element and Point's fine again when it comes to his own units' tactics.-

-Very well.- Said Nemesis. -You'll have it in all candour? You're going because there won't be any Fleshlings there. All your battle experience is against that one species. I want to see how you handle fighting your own kind and in addition to the reasons I've already given you the two grand old strategists are there because I won't trust you to stand alone against Outriders until you've proven you know how.-

-Babysitters? Do you want to insult me?-

-Teachers, if you will.- Nemesis said calmly. -If I wanted to insult you, I'd have used Istar. Or maybe Jean Claude, though perhaps you'd have enjoyed that too much ... You yourself just pointed out Pointsz superior experience. Razzle and Lutaz each have a few years on Point, you know. They're wise old wolves that have hunted just about every prey this dimension has to offer. And they're not likely to be around to learn from much longer. Lutaz especially has only returned from retirement for the current crisis.-

Jesse blinked and tried to sort through this.

-You'd have used Istar to insult me? The rumour mill has it that you were trained by him yourself.-

-And what he taught me proved to be very useful to me, but was also very one-sided. Despite his age Istar remains the unchallenged champion of his discipline, but that's all he is. A pounder on the battlefield, if you will. That's not your style and at anything outside of hand to hand, Istar's mediocre at best. You'd learn more about strategy drinking one bowl of tea with either of his brothers than I did serving as his right hand for four years. No, Lutaz is your man there. They don't call him Computerbrain for nothing.-

-You think I need to learn strategy?- The one god-damned thing he was actually better than most of his peers at!

-How to adapt it to races other than Fleshlings, yes. Have you ever even run a simulation against another Outrider?-

-Of course.-

-Oh, you have? Against whom? Not your precious Ramszet, I hope.-

Despite himself Jesse laughed.

-Hell no. I doubt he'd be able to handle the controls. Way more buttons than he can cope with. I've played against just about everyone in the dorm, though. Well, everyone that was in the dorm before ... Yuma. In a large variety of scenarios. Razzle ... got very creative setting them up.-

-Did you ever beat him?-

-Who Razzle? No, but he rarely played himself. It wouldn't have been fair when he'd set up the scenario.-

-Ever beat one of he others?-

Jesse bristled. They weren't talking about hand to hand after all.

-All of them when using my own troops.-

-Using your own troops?-

-Razzle liked to switch them around. I had a pretty good score with Pointsz and Gattlersz as well, but then Razzle took to giving me his own bloody tanks. I don't think heavy infantry suits my style that well.-

-I see.- Was there a hint of a giggle in Nemesis' voice? -And that's why you can learn a lot from Razzle. He's an excellent teacher. And versatile, too. His speciality may be heavy infantry, but ... well, I've seen him command light cavalry as if he did it all the time.-

-We also don't get along too well.- Jesse pointed out.

-As I saw at your trial? Or this very morning? Razzle's a grumpy cumbat. Get close to him and he'll snap at your fingers, but it's up to you how much you let it bother you.-

Another memory: Razzle snapping an insult at Gattler and getting no reaction at all. That was probably the key to their friendship, Jesse thought. You couldn't get into a serious fight if one of you consistently ignored everything unpleasant you said to him.

-If you want proof that I can fight against Outriders, why don't you ask Razzle for the protocols of those simulations. I think they ought to satisfy you.-

-They're still simulations. Jatt has been in simulated battles, too, yet you still worry about his performance under real fire, don't you?-

Jesse had to admit that.

-And.- Nemesis continued. -Have you ever faced Ettar in any of those simulations?-

-No, I never met him properly. He was off in the Sarej system the whole time.-

-I insist on that trial run then. Razzle and Lutaz both know Ettar well. They should be able to predict his actions better than you.-

-As he should be able to predict theirs better than mine.- Jesse challenged.

-Another advantage of the three of you acting together.- Nemesis countered.

Jesse fumed. No, he didn't want the responsibility for anything major, but he wanted to be told he needed babysitters even less.

-Where were you?- Jean Claude greeted him when he joined the others in the mess.

-Reporting to Nemesis.- Jesse snarled.

-And?- Lutaz asked.

-And he means for the three of us to execute the attack as well as plan it.-

-So?- said Lutaz.

-That was to be expected, though unwise.- Razzle commented calmly.

-Unwise?- Jean Claude asked.

-Tanks.- Jesse said nodding towards Razzle. -In the jungle. We'd just agreed that that doesn't work. And I told him so. I told him it's the perfect playground for Pointsz Flying Vipers. But no, we've got to take the bloody tanks, because apparently I need babysitters.- Jesse threw his spoon into his mashed fruits which made a satisfying splash, but didn't help matters.

-Babysitters?- Jean Claude repeated.

Maybe he shouldn't have mentioned that part.

-Well, it's only to be expected that he won't trust you.- Lutaz explained calmly. -No matter how discordant your relationship with your clan may be, they are still your kin. Who's to guarantee to him that you won't suddenly be overcome by a fit of sentimentality and decide to rejoin dear old Uncle Laxus after all.-

-The clown's pretty much the last of my relatives I'll ever miss.- Jesse pointed out, though there was something to the argument. -And any attempt to threaten harm to my siblings would be too obvious a bluff. You think that's what he's thinking, though? It's not what he said.-

-Well, you have to admit you're not exactly the most reliable of us.- Jean Claude suggested diplomatically.

-What did he say?- Razzle demanded sharply.

-That.- Jesse glared at his food. -He doesn't trust me to know how to fight Outriders. Because I haven't been trained properly. It's the one thing I actually was trained to do!-

-True.- Said Razzle. -Remind me to introduce you to the Th'Hone sometime. Sooner or later we'll be dealing with them. They've never skipped a generation entirely yet and you're young enough to meet them twice.-

-Th'Hone?- Jesse said. -Really?-

-Well, that's about as close as we can get to pronouncing what they call themselves.- Razzle amended. -They ... are real aliens. Nothing like Outriders ... or Fleshlings. But now's not the time unless they attack us. We need to focus on Arthame.-

-Personally.- Gaspar commented to everybody's surprise. -I'd prefer the Th'Hone. At least they aren't ... well, if you've ever met a Th'Hone you know you could never be friends with them. They just want to eat you.-

They stared at him.

-What? I don't like fighting my own dormmates. Do you?-

-What's the difference?- Jean Claude asked. -Fleshlings or Outriders, it's all very much the same.-

-Is that what you'd say if you were face to face with Ettar on a battlefield right now?- Razzle asked him. -What about you Jesse? You say you won't miss Laxus, but could you look at him and shoot him right between the eyes?-

Jesse squirmed. -Could yes, of course I could, if I had to. But I think if I had the choice, I'd aim at his legs, try to take him alive. Who knows, he might even have some useful information.-

-Kill him and he's definitely out of the fight.- Jean Claude said coldly. -That's safer, unless I'd really been told to bring him back alive.-

Razzle looked from one to the other. -That's what you've been taught, is it? Well, it's quite possible that we'll see what you'll actually do soon.-

-I can kill.- Jesse said a little defensively. -I've done it before. Even people I knew. I just ... don't like to, if it isn't necessary. Not anymore.-

-It's foolish not to.- Jean Claude said. -The enemy you spare now might be the one that kills you half an hour later.-

-Have you ever killed an Outrider, Jean Claude?- Razzle asked and it was only then that Jesse realised that Razzle's focus wasn't on him at all.

-I've killed Fleshlings.- Jean Claude stated calmly. -It's no different.-

-I'll accept that from Jesse.- Razzle said. -It probably is no different when you've grown up among them, but you are not a Fleshling, Jean Claude, and you never were. You don't know what it is to kill your own kind.-

-Have you?- Jesse asked suddenly wondering.

Razzle nodded. -And that's what my nightmares are about.-

-I don't see you waking up screaming every night.-

-You don't. I can handle it, but that doesn't mean I wanted to see another civil war.-

-Do those ... never skip a generation either?-

-That depends on what exactly you call a civil war.- Lutaz said calmly, apparently not affected by the conversation that had shaken everybody else at all. -It's been almost a thousand years since we've had anything as big as this, but system or planet wide insurrections or two clans going at each other isn't all that rare a thing and if you count pirate wars we're pretty much constantly at war with ourselves.-

-Now that.- Razzle said surprisingly sharply. -Is more in the line of police duty than an actual war. Pirates are outlaws, not insurgents.-

-That doesn't change the fact that we exchange shots with them every once in a while.- Lutaz stated in an almost challenging tone. His eyes met Razzle's and for a while there was complete silence.

-Still not a civil war.- Razzle said finally.

Jesse wondered what that had been about. He felt more inclined to side with Razzle on this issue, though. The pirates he'd met on Ishara definitely had considered themselves criminals and not traitors. They'd considered Jesse's crime downright exotic in fact.

Not that Jesse hadn't been all around exotic anyway and not at all in a negative way.

-And just what are you grinning about, Puppy?- Razzle snapped at him.

-Oh nothing, Lutaz just made me think of pirates ...-

-And that's worth such a big grin now?-

-That particular one certainly was. I ... sort of miss her.-

Razzle sneered at him. -Try hanging out in ... no, maybe not in the bar, but somewhere near the women's dorms. There should be enough bored ones whose boyfriends suddenly disappeared on them. But don't forget what I told you about contraception unless she's at the very least a wing leader and of noble birth.-

Point laughed.

-You know.- Gaspar said. -Maybe we should try introducing Puppy to some really eligible young ladies before we let him throw himself away on some random junior officer.-

-Nah.- Said Razzle. -It's too early for that. He still isn't even of age, yet.-

-I thought you didn't want my Fleshling genes polluting your precious gene pool?- Jesse reminded him.

Gaspar stared at him. -Huh?-

-You'll have to ask the Professor about your genes.- Razzle had apparently understood the statement a little better. -I only know seals and valves and neither bother randy young women much.-

-I'm not sure genes do either.- Lutaz commented. -Nobility does, rank does, money does ... oh and looks for some reason. Don't know about those, but you've got the first three down in any case and you only need to convince one of them to marry you anyway. If they're really so bothered by the genes, try a talented commoner from a poor family and offer her a promotion.-

-I'd go for an ugly noble first.- Gaspar recommended. -Those are usually desperate and you can always say you married her for her pedigree and inner values.-

-Oh, and since we're going to Arthame.- Razzle said. -Don't marry an Uthen, or sleep with her without contraception or ... well, best not sleep with any Arthameze at all. You'll just set yourself up for a lot of heartbreak. Just find some pretty young officer who's no more seriously into a relationship than you are and we'll talk about marriage again in ... say five years or so.-

-How about you leave Jessesz sex life alone then and help me out with mine for a change.- Jean Claude suggested. -I've been looking for a wife for years now, but I never seem to be able to keep a girl for more than a month or two.-

-I know one girl that would probably marry you no questions asked.- Point hinted, though Jesse had no idea at whom.

-I'm not that desperate.- Jean Claude snapped.

-She is, but suit yourself.- Point said slightly bitterly. -She'll survive. It's just that she's always wanted to be a mother. She knows it's a vain dream.-

-Who ...- Jesse started to ask, but Point shook his head.

-Never mind. I wasn't serious anyway.- He said. -Just forget it.-

-You're too picky, Angelo.- Razzle said. -If I were a pretty girl with lots of other options I wouldn't marry you either.-

-Why not, though?- Jesse asked. -Lutaz said nobility, rank, money and looks. And I thought that with the move to Rukkat the old blood's financial prospects are looking much better now.-

-Eventually, yes.- Razzle said. -Once we manage to produce enough food to drive the prices down. That will take several years, though and Uthen and Goura do not intend to just idly watch that or at least they weren't going to. Of course we'll be making our own prices as long as we're occupying their planet and if the war goes very badly for them we might be able to control their prices until we are able to supply ourselves.-

-You're an economy expert as well now?- Point asked a little sarcastically.

-These are valuable data for long-term strategic planning.- Razzle explained. -And I've got most of it from Gattler.-

-Doesn't sound like him.- Gaspar frowned.

-I didn't say they were his decisions or deductions. He gets that sort of information from his Afrar. And it bothers him, so he tends to tell me.- Razzle shrugged. -It's not like there's anything anyone can do about it.-

-Bothers him?- Jesse asked. -Why?-

-Because, if you haven't noticed over your dreams of naughty pirates, lover-boy- Razzle sneered. -Our friends on Arthame have been artificially inflating food prices to bleed us dry. Talk about piracy.-

-Blood will out, eh?- Gaspar grinned.

-If you're trying to imply anything.- Razzle snarled. -Say it clearly.-

-Eh what? Why?- This time it was Point who didn't seem to have been able to follow the conversation.

-Because.- Razzle said still snarling. -I'm not sure whether he's talking about my friend or my sister, but I don't like it either way.-

Gaspar presented his palms in front of his chest in a gesture of surrender. -It was merely a light-hearted joke in reference to Uthen. What the heck do I know of your sister's blood?-

Point and Jesse only just managed to catch Razzle by the arms in time to save Gaspar.

-Congratulations Gaspar.- Jesse sneered. -I don't think I've ever met a bigger master at putting his foot in his mouth.-

-What did I say now?-

-Right. Time we went back to our planning, I think.- Jesse hinted.

Razzle gave Gaspar a cold look. -Better watch your mouth from now on.-

But he accepted Jesse's suggestion. They had vaccination schedules to work out. 

Review reply to KB: Thank you! I think the chance to do some world building is what attracted me to the Outriders in the first place. Plot hedgehogs come from everywhere - and quite often an idea grows out of another, especially when you're world building. At other times you have a character that needs some fleshing out, so you think about what you could do with them that will differentiate them from the others and then you need to find a way to present it in the story and a new sub-plot is born ... Don't worry, I have no intention to stop. The reason I didn't post on Wednesday was that I had a job interview and then another on Thursday, plus the disappointment of finding out the company from Wednesday doesn't want me after all. These things tend to take over my brain and leave no room to think about plots and fics. (I wish it weren't so. Stories were an excellent way to escape my worries in the past, but these days it seems the worries are stronger.) Luckily I have several more chapters of this fic finished, so at least for now it's only a question of remembering and taking the time to post. Eventually longer intervals might be needed to give me time to finish the next chapter, though.


	6. Chapter 5: Of First Love and Rape

Disclaimer 1: This is fanfic. That means I do not own any of it. I just borrow it to play with for a little while and let people see the pathetic results if they really want to.

Disclaimer 2: I'm not making any money from it. It's just for fun.

Disclaimer 3: What isn't borrowed is all made up. None of this is real or most likely at all realistic. Please don't trust any of the information in here. Most likely you know more about whatever I'm writing about than I do.

Disclaimer 4: Attitudes, views and opinions expressed by the characters or in the story are not necessarily those of the author. Even when writing Science Fiction or Fantasy I do not tend to attempt to create perfect/better worlds in which everybody gets a happy end ... or whatever is best for them. Please accept that some characters will have a bad ending or be unhappy.

Disclaimer 5: I intend no insult to anyone. If I offend anyone I'm very sorry. Please understand that it was an accident as I tend to be very clumsy in these things.

Chapter 5: Of First Love and Rape

They put on a movie to distract themselves after dinner, but as luck would have it it was about a girl who ran away from her clan. The street life shown wasn't at all realistic, but that only set Razzle's imagination off the more. Yes, it did stop him thinking of Gattler, but thinking of his sister and the streets and lost, hopeless children was not really an improvement, so Razzle soon slipped away.

The recreation section would be full of people right now and maybe Kieste would like to keep him company?

But his feet probably directed by the memories the movie had stirred up led him elsewhere. Somehow he found himself turning down a corridor he had hardly entered in over a decade, yet he still found a certain door without hesitation. But of course he couldn't go in. He had no business there now, didn't even know who lived there these days.

-Why Commander Razzle! Were you looking for me?-

Iktrz? No, not anywhere near the person he wanted to see. Then again ...

-Maybe.- He smiled enigmatically. -If you don't mind talking business in your spare time.-

-You're worried about Jesse?-

-Worried?- Of course he was, but he worried about everybody in his dorm. That was a dorm elder's job. -Not seriously. He's a child that had to grow up too soon, but he's far from the only one. And he's caught between two worlds. That too isn't unprecedented. With the Fleshlings gone from our lives their influence and attraction will fade away.-

Yes, of course, who was he kidding? Like himself, Jesse would live among the people that were available, but always keep his memories of the ones he'd known before. They'd come out when he was lonely or troubled as Razzle's were coming out now. And in Jesse's case they weren't just people long gone from his life, it was an entire world and race.

-He'll be fine.- He said. This much at least he really believed. -But those nightmares are troubling him and perhaps we could help him faster if we coordinate.-

-So far I'm not getting anywhere with the dreams.- Iktrz admitted. -He's blocking me, refusing to talk about them. I'm trying to find topics that result in a similar reaction to get a hint what I'm digging at, but so far he's merely shown slight reluctance to go along with them. I made an unconnected alarming discovery, though.-

-Which is?-

-He thinks of Istar as an example of Outrider parenting.-

Oh, this was just too good. Razzle laughed. -He would.-

Iktrz flinched. Uncomfortable with loud and open laughter? Ah, my dear psychologist. But of course psychologists tended to control their reactions. In many ways Razzle did, too, but he was not afraid to laugh.

-You realise that, if he takes him for a role model with his own children ...-

-He hasn't seen much other Outrider parenting.- Razzle pointed out. -Marzze ignores his children and there are no children at the base. Jesse hardly ever leaves it.-

-See, that's cause for alarm. Couldn't you take him home sometime? Let him see you interact with yours?-

-Maybe when the day comes that he'll need such guidance.- Razzle promised. -I have seen him interact with children, though. There is no cause for alarm. He did surprisingly well considering his youth. He likes children, you know, and he does not have Istar's unnatural enjoyment of others' pain.-

-He can be quite cruel.-

-So can I. It's a useful skill.-

Iktrz shuddered, deliberately. He did not understand. Lucky Iktrz. Razzle was quite sure that the head psychologist must have had a normal, happy childhood. The sort such as he and Jesse could only dream of.

-You indicated that you had some knowledge on Jesse's nightmares to share.- Iktrz prompted.

-Information Lutaz has ... extorted more than extracted.- Razzle admitted. -He's handling him rather roughly, but then he is out of his depth. I believe Jesse understands and accepts that even if he is going to mutiny sooner or later.-

-Those two are a bad combination, then.-

-They would be, if Lutaz were his psychologist.- Razzle corrected. -As mere dorm-mates they'll be fine. With the usual occasional collisions of course.-

-Some dorm elders demand peaceful cooperation of their dorm members at all times.- Iktrz hinted.

-Some dorm elders would have kicked every member of my dorm out of their dorms a long time ago. Myself first of all.-

Iktrz laughed. -Alright, alright, point taken. What do you have?-

-Fire.- Razzle said. -He dreams of fire. Lutaz told him how he burned his hands and the next night Jesse dreamed of burning his hands. A reaction to recent experiences, I'm afraid. No hint at the source of the dreams in general, but he did put it down to fire being a common element in his nightmares.-

Iktrz frowned. Clearly he didn't know what to do with the information. Oh well, it might fit in with something he'd learn at a later time.

-Anything else?-

-You've probably already noticed it, but he's afraid to actually command troops in battle again. Yuma taught him that he isn't infallible and that he does care about other people after all. Then he was left to stew over it too long. I suppose it might have been wiser if we'd let them send him into the vapour chambers after all.- The thought reminded him of another door on this corridor, one they had almost reached. It would be locked of course, but he did have a magnet in his pocket. He slipped his hand inside to check. Yes, there it was, a solid and comforting presence, but a silent one, too. He'd have much preferred Gattler's presence. -He's destined to be part of our first attack, though. If all goes well that should take care of it.-

Iktrz flinched again. -His Nastiness doesn't mean to send me along to the front line, does he?-

-Coward.- Razzle grinned. -I'm going and so's Lutaz. Enjoy your holiday. We'll send you a postcard.-

They'd reached the door and on impulse Razzle turned towards it, pulling out the magnet he still held in his hand. One touch, one well practised twist, and the door slid open. He walked through leaving Iktrz behind to wonder, and probably alert Moku to the negligence of the vaporisation staff. He should probably feel sorry for whichever innocent nurse would be accused of forgetting to lock the door, but all he really felt was devious amusement.

The corridor was dimly lit at this time of the day, but the air was fresh and held not even a hint of a smell of dust. Of course not. They'd been busily 'unpacking' people every day since the settlement of Rukkat had begun. Nobles first, they'd said when they'd started, then the common members of the noble clans that would be the most use in building and settling the world.

All this had been hastily interrupted at the outbreak of the rebellion of course, but only to be replaced by the order to unpack all the people with any military training whatsoever. Of course they weren't battle-fit the moment they came out of the vapour chambers, but they'd serve as a reservoir to replace injured and killed soldiers.

Razzle sneered. Some of them were good soldiers of course, people who'd ended up in there for political reasons or minor mistakes. The great mass would be incompetent, unreliable, cowardly, crippled, sick or old. By all the gods, the ones who'd been in there since the destruction of the home-world had missed generations of technological development. They probably wouldn't even recognise the controls of modern vehicles or weapons!

But this would be the priority until the end of the war, Razzle reminded himself as he slipped past the vaporisation terminals without even a glance at the chambers lined up for de-vaporisation.

After that they'd no doubt go back to the initial plan of nobles and their common servants. He didn't know how many of those there were, or how many people in the chambers in total. He didn't know how many could be unpacked per day. There was no way he could tell how long it would be until they got around to unpacking the people with no priority, or until everybody would finally be out.

All he knew was that the number of chambers had to be enormous. He'd reached the storage halls now, could see the rows upon rows of chambers. Perhaps someday when he had a lot of time to spare he ought to take a walk down here, try to find the walls, if he walked from one wall to the other he could estimate the number of rows, and if he walked all the way down from one end of a row to the other the number of chambers per row and then ... Then he'd still not know how many people a day, and the head of the med techs had given him a promise and meant it, at least at the time he'd said it, but it was not in the power of med techs to set priorities.

Razzle had never seen any of the other walls. He had no idea how many rows there were or how many chambers in this row. He didn't even know any of the numbers that identified the individual chambers to the staff that worked down here during the day, but he could find certain chambers without a problem. Especially this one. He probably could have found this one blindfolded.

He looked up at the silent unaware figure floating in its chamber.

-Damn it, Rockets, it's all gone to hell again.- He told it. -We've got a nice major civil war now and I've lost Gattler as well. I just feel helpless and alone ... and this time you won't be there to catch me if I fall again.-

The figure didn't reply of course. It couldn't even hear him.

-Yes, I know, I've gotten through a lot of trouble without you and I'm quite old enough to take care of myself. I've got others who depend on me now. Did I ever tell you that? I've gone far without you. I'll get by. I just wish you were here tonight.-

The figure floated on in silence as did the millions of others around it. There were enough people here to populate a planet and yet Razzle was the only one that was even aware of his own existence. He'd once told Jesse that there was nothing to fear about the vapour chambers. It had been a lie. Being in one of the chambers was nothing to be afraid of, no, but in their own way they were the worst of horrors to those left outside.

-Aaaahhh!-

Lights on.

-Burned your hands again?-

-No.- Jesse rolled over to get back to sleep.

Off - on - off - on ...

-Burned something else then?-

-No. There was no fire at all.-

-Oh?- interjected Razzle. -Then what was there?-

-Stay out of this One-Eye.- Lutaz snapped.

-Why? You'll never get there guessing blindly.-

-There was only me and the computer, alright?-

-Then why did you scream?- Gaspar asked curiously. -That doesn't sound scary.-

-Doesn't it?- Point inquired slightly surprised. -It sounds awfully lonely. I think I'd get scared if it lasted long enough.-

Jesse laughed.

-I don't think that's it.- Razzle commented.

-Yes, Fleshlings handle loneliness amazingly well.- Jean Claude informed them. -They get trained into it almost from birth.-

-Eh?- made Gaspar.

-Yes, really.- Jean Claude assured him. -They put their babies to bed alone in a room, walk away and close the door. Some think it'll teach them not to wake up and cry during the night, if nobody comes when they cry.-

-Gee.- said Lutaz. -No wonder Jesse's messed up.-

-You know what they say on Yuma?- Jesse asked slightly annoyed.

-What?-

-Those Outriders, they are horrid.- Jesse said with a theatrical gasp. -They have no feelings at all, don't care about anyone or anything.-

-So that thing about the babies isn't true?- Razzle inquired.

-Well, I don't know about not coming when the baby cries. That sounds unlikely, but ... well, you said some, Jean Claude, right? I can't swear that nobody does it.- Jesse allowed. -And they do put babies to sleep alone and maybe close the door, but they've got little microphones they put next to the bed to make sure they'll hear them cry. So I bet all normal Fleshling parents come running right away.-

-They still abandon them all alone.- Jean Claude insisted. -That's child abuse. And ...-

-And if the Fleshlings knew that Outriders beat their children they'd be just as horrified.- Jesse snapped. -Even a single slap or just shaking them is child abuse to them. So don't you of all people start talking about child abuse, Istarsz son.-

-Now, Istar ...-

-My Afrar is not ...-

-So what did scare you?- Lutaz shouted over all the rest cutting them off.

So much for distraction.

-It was rather weird actually.- Jesse admitted. -I was trying to do something even though I knew I mustn't. I ... couldn't control my own actions. So I was hammering into the computer and trying to tell myself to stop, but the computer wasn't responding anyway, so eventually I calmed down and decided I might as well let myself keep trying. And then all of a sudden at the very moment I'd decided that the computer suddenly obeyed after all and ... the whole room exploded.-

-Without fire?- Razzle asked.

-Without fire.- Jesse confirmed. -Just ... kind of like a shock wave tore it apart?-

-And then you screamed?- Lutaz demanded.

-Well ... yes.- Jesse admitted suddenly feeling very embarrassed.

-Was there any noise?- Razzle inquired.

-Noise? When? Where? Why would there be noise?- Lutaz asked turning off the light.

-From the shockwave that tore apart the room.- Razzle explained. -There ought to have been some kind of sound by which I might identify the cause.-

-There wasn't.- Jesse assured him hastily.

-Razzle.- Lutaz said very patiently. -It was a dream. It does not have to obey your laws of physics. Or technology. Or whatever. Dreams can do whatever they want.-

-Well, I just wanted to know.- Razzle said just a little sulkily.

-Just leave the psychology to me, Razzle.- Lutaz insisted.

-No.- Jesse heard a whisper in the darkness, one so soft that he wondered whether it had even reached Lutaz's ears at all.

He made sure to stifle his giggles this time just in case it hadn't.

The conversation on parenting seemed to have stirred Iktrz's interest in education. Over the next few days he questioned Jesse about his experiences in primary school, high school and finally the Star Sheriff Academy.

The last topic surprised Jesse by making him vaguely long for a drink. He'd thought he was over that.

-I don't know.- He told Iktrz with a casual shrug. -They always pushed us towards it at the orphanage and it sounded like a big adventure, so I went. And I found I was good at it. I ... I quite liked that. It made me popular with the other kids, even those who had parents. They all looked up to me, all wanted to be my friends. I'd never had any real friends. Not that I did then, but I thought I did.-

And Iktrz made him talk about those friends and their classes and the length, or rather shortness, of their training. He even threw in a few anecdotes from his own student days at the Science Academy, but only shrugged and told him to ask Lutaz when he asked about the subjects taught at the Warrior Academy.

-I've never even been inside.- He said. -Lutaz actually teaches there, or did until a few weeks ago. He'll have all the latest information. Or you could ask Jatt for the students' perspective.-

Then they moved on to the reasons why he'd left the academy.

It had been some time since Jesse had thought of April Eagle and it took him a while to recall her face. Strange. There'd been a time when he hadn't been able to close his eyes without seeing it. He tried closing them now, recreating those feelings. With an effort April's picture did appear for a moment, young, blond, the very ideal of human beauty. But then his focus slipped and Rissa appeared instead, an older woman, her green skin marred by various marks earned in years of harsh pirate life, battle scars as well as callouses from weapons training.

But unlike April, Rissa looked inviting. He could remember what her skin felt like as it rubbed against his own. He'd never seen April naked. Rissa's memory was warm and pleasant, beautiful in her own way. April's was cold and distant, as fragile and as appealing as those porcelain dolls girls on Earth had played with long ago. He'd never understood why they'd chosen them over the more durable alternatives made out of cloth or wood.

-I loved her.- He told Iktrz. -Or thought I did. She was my first love in any case. I had to have her, so I proposed ... probably too soon.-

-When?-

-The first time I saw her. She guest taught our martial arts class for a few days, so there wasn't much time.-

-So you proposed to her during class?-

-At the end.- Jesse admitted. -I promised her the world. Or well, pleasant home life and never having to work again. But she only laughed at me.-

Iktrz laughed, too.

Alright, so maybe it had been funny. Awfully clumsy in any case.

-I was furious, but I still wanted her. Yet whenever I tried to talk to her, she never would take me seriously. She just waved me off and passed me by. So when I met her in that corridor I ... I grabbed her, just to hold her in place, make her stop and listen at first. But she still wouldn't take me seriously, so ... well, I felt I had to prove to her that I wasn't just a little boy and ...-

This tale seemed to trouble the psychologist.

-You were fifteen?-

-Only just, but still an adult by their standards.- Jesse shrugged.

-How old was she?-

He had to think about that. -Seventeen, I think, maybe eighteen. Not so much older that the match would have been at all unusual.- He wondered how old exactly Rissa was.

-Would you have taken her by force, if she hadn't thrown you? If you hadn't been interrupted?-

-No!- Jesse gaped at Iktrz, but the question stayed with him even after he'd left his office.

His passion had already carried him away into threatening her. How much further could it have gone, if April hadn't put a stop to it then and there? What would he have done once he had her pinned under him helpless? Wouldn't it have been the next logical step to ...

But then she'd never have agreed to marry him. Then she'd have feared and abhorred him and ... Hadn't she already feared him when he'd threatened her? Shouldn't he have realised that, too, and stopped? If he hadn't stopped at the one, would he have at the other?

He was the result of rape himself after all. His father was a rapist. It was in his blood.

He gave the practise dummy he'd been punching away at a vicious kick that tore it off its hook and sent it skittering across the floor of the gym.

-Should I have second thoughts about sparring with you today?- Razzle asked him pleasantly. -If you feel like practising that on a live subject, do me a favour and go play with Jean Claude.-

-Seriously?- Jesse asked surprised. Jean Claude still was the only one of his dormmates he'd never sparred with and it was Razzle that had always objected to the idea.

-No.- He said this time as well. -Not until you've beaten all the rest of us at least once. He'd slaughter you, if you tried him now. And not get anything even approaching a workout himself. Oh, don't give me that look. You've seen what he can do. None of us'd stand a chance if he chose to really unsheathe his claws. Have you ever looked at the claws felines and canines have? No way am I throwing a half grown puppy at an adult Cat-Of-War.-

-I'm not a baby.- Jesse pointed out.

-Still a minor.- Razzle returned with a smirk.

-For all of two more months.- And only if he considered himself purely Outrider. By Fleshling standards he'd been an adult for almost five years now and even Razzle himself had stated that he had the maturity of an adult Outrider at his trial.

Razzle just laughed though.

Jesse clenched his fists, which caused him to feel both the scar on the back of his left hand and the bracelet around his right wrist, and fought down an angry reaction.

It was no use to rail at Razzle, it only amused him, and attacking him mindlessly and from the front where he'd see him coming, would only lead to certain defeat. Razzle might be past his prime, but he was still the trickiest fox in Nemesis' considerable arsenal.

Besides, Jesse knew by now that no matter how sharply Razzle snapped at him, he was only teasing. He wasn't so sure how to interpret his laughter. It was unpleasantly loud and tended to make everybody flinch, but ... well, Jesse still hadn't figured out what exactly would and wouldn't make Razzle laugh. He seemed to have his own personal sense of humour. Perhaps there was no insult in this. Gattler definitely would ignore it, and of everybody Jesse knew Gattler got on best with Razzle.

So he went and put the damaged dummy away before rejoining Razzle, once more in control of himself and ready to focus on his training. Except ...

-Do you think it's hereditary?- He blurted out quite unintentionally just as they were getting ready to fight.

-What is?- Razzle asked casually feigning an attack on Jesse's right leg.

Jesse sidestepped it easily. They both knew that wouldn't work, but Razzle always opened his fights with these simple moves. Except when he didn't, but those occasions were rare. He'd lose the element of surprise, if he used it too often.

-Rape.- Jesse remained on the defensive even though he saw an opening on Razzle's right. It was sure to be a trap.

Razzle stopped, startled by the word ... or was he only pretending to be? ... and then moved in the other direction now apparently intending to attack Jesse from the left.

-Last I heard rape wasn't a disease ... or disability. Whatever. You ought to ask Gattler ...-

Jesse, startled at being sent to their absent colleague only just managed to duck under Razzle's arm and failed to grab it entirely. Damn! What a missed chance!

-... or Lutaz, of course.- Razzle continued easily.

The bastard had mentioned the wrong person on purpose!

-Yes, but ... You know my ... biological Afrar raped my mother. And he got lots of different women pregnant. One even when he was still in school. And then Cozz went and did the same and ... well, I quit the Fleshling academy over a girl I thought I had to have, but ... well, there've been several since. Do you think ... do you think we're all rapists? All Marzzesz sons, I mean?-

-I think.- Said Razzle and then there was a sudden impact and they were both spinning head over heals before ending up on the ground with Razzle lying comfortably on both Jesse's arms and one hand at his throat, though he only gave it one very light and gentle squeeze to make sure Jesse knew the fight was over. -That if you are going to talk while fighting, you ought to distract your opponent and not yourself. That's a first year mistake, Puppy.-

-Yeah, whatever.- Jesse was too distracted to be embarrassed at losing another hand to hand match. -But do you think I ... we are predestined to be rapists?-

-You're going from teenage crushes to infidelity to rape awfully quickly here.- Razzle said sitting up to free Jesse's hands. -My opinion is that they're three different things.-

-Maybe, but ...-

-Let's take your Fleshling girl. She was your first ... let's call it love for argument's sake, wasn't she?- He got up and offered his hand to Jesse, who hesitated for a moment before accepting it. Sometimes such offers were just another trick, but this time Razzle did only pull him to his feet. Apparently it was talking time now.

-Well, yes. And I went about it the wrong way, but that's not the point. I fell in love too soon and too vehemently. As did Marzze. As did Cozz.-

-From what I know of Fleshling culture the age seems quite normal, and from what I know of ours, both Marzze and Cozz ought to have been in love, if we are going to call it that, before those first girls you know of.-

-What do you mean by calling it love?-

-That it usually isn't. That first girl. You see her, find her attractive, and you desire her. It's the first time you've ever felt that sort of interest in a girl, and you've heard of that thing called love that adult men feel for women, so you think this must be it. It's not. It's a passing fancy, sexual awakening. And in nine cases out of ten you don't ever get to do more than adore her from afar. Pretty soon you notice that other girls are attractive, too and eventually you come across one that's actually interested. And it's probably still not love, but you play at being in love and if you're both really daring you try out that sex thing. If you're smart, you use contraception and all is well. If you're not, or you've never heard of it, or you don't know where to get it or how to use it, sooner or later you get one of those girls pregnant and then ... well, there you have what happened to Marzze and Cozz. It's got nothing to do with that first girl, falling in love prematurely, or heredity. And certainly not with rape.-

-But it still happened to both father and son. Cozz is the only one that's reached that age so far. I'm next ...-

-What I see there is that Marzze never learned the lesson about contraception and accordingly never taught it to his son. I'll give you another example. My mother got pregnant at seventeen. Whoever my Afrar may have been, he definitely was the kind of man that will have sex with an under-age girl, not use contraception and not bother to take responsibility for the consequences. If I knew one thing growing up it was that I didn't want to be like him. And guess what, I always made sure I used contraception, I never had sex with a girl younger than myself, I married a woman that I was in real love with and who, believe it or not, was not pregnant at the time. My first child wasn't born until I was 29 and had official permission. Never mind what my parents did. That was what I wanted to do.-

-But you weren't ... born from rape.-

-Maybe not. I don't know. My mother would never say.-

-Oh.- Jesse stared at the floor. Somehow he'd always assumed that at least Razzle and his closest relatives had a good idea who his father was, but kept it quiet for political reasons, or because they expected him to deny it and possibly feared he could make it look like a false accusation.

-What's this fixation with rape about anyway? Did you ... force or coerce that pirate girl?- Razzle demanded suddenly.

-Oh no, she was very willing. In fact, it was her idea in he first place. Most eager woman I've ever had.- It was impossible to think of Rissa as a girl.

-Then what? One of the others? That cute little Fleshling Gaspar tells me you had on New Wichita?-

-Trista? Heck, no. I never even wanted her all that much. She was just ... useful and offered benefits once I'd already turned on the charm.- Back then he'd also thought that she wasn't his type, because she was so unlike April, but ... well, she was a lot more like her than Rissa. Perhaps he ought to find some collection of girl pictures and try to figure out what his type actually was. -The girls I actually had were all willing enough. The only one that wasn't was ... that first one and I never had her.-

-Did your brother rape his girl, then?-

What? -I ... I don't think so. I've never actually met her, but I doubt she'd have married him, if he had. She looked awfully happy in the wedding pictures, too.-

Razzle gave him a sideways look.

-Is there a girl you've got your eye on now, then? I thought you were still mourning the loss of your pirate.-

What?

-So what if I am? She was awfully good in bed.-

-Oh, you did it Fleshling style? I might have to try that someday, if it's so special.-

-She thought it was exotic in any case. And it was warm. Ishara is awfully cold.-

Razzle laughed again, which drew curious looks from the others many of whom had finished their matches by now. Jesse squirmed. He didn't want to have this conversation in front of witnesses. It was already bad enough that he'd told Razzle!

-I might have to have a word with Iktrz. These therapy sessions seem to be doing you more harm than good. Listen Jesse, you might really want to ask Lutaz to be completely sure, but as far as I know rape is an act and not a gene. You can decide not to be a rapist just like I decided not to be the father of a bastard. And you know something, I doubt it's all that big a sacrifice. At least I've always found that her enjoyment of it is half the fun of having sex. Forcing an unwilling woman must be quite disappointing, if you ask me.-

-Then why did Marzze do it? Why did Laxus? He isn't always right on top of every female thing that gets close enough to grab. What about all those others on Juno station? Just what happened there?- He noticed too late that he was shouting, but at least all the others had heard now was about Marzze and not himself.

-Do what?- Lutaz asked walking over to them.

Oh right, he thought himself the dorm's psychology expert! So far he'd done nothing to convince Jesse.

-Rape Fleshlings.-

Lutaz shrugged. -It's called lust. Probably combined with drunkenness.-

-Lust after frightened Fleshlings?- Point asked. -I don't know. I think they're rather off-putting.-

-The fully grown ones can be kind of cute when they're happy and healthy and neatly dressed. If you don't look at their ears ...- Gaspar ventured.

-I said rape, not seduce.- Jesse pointed out.

-Or be seduced as the case appears to lie.- Razzle sneered.

Gaspar blushed and ducked. Interesting.

-And, for your information, it's a rather common phenomenon after a battle. The victorious soldiers are all riled up and excited, but the fighting is over, nobody's resisting anymore. So they go and find someone to dominate. That can be some left behind enemy soldier that they are actually supposed to round up, an innocent native that they torture and plunder, a prisoner they abuse, or a female they rape. Drunkenness certainly aggravates the matter, but it can happen completely without any involvement of alcohol.- Razzle lectured. -And you know what? You all ought to know that, because you are the ones who are supposed to keep those troops in line and once it gets to the point that your officers are group raping your prisoners, you have lost the last shreds of control over your army ... in fact you no longer have an army. Good luck recovering that.-

-So, that's why Laxus never got to command another battle?- Jean Claude asked.

Razzle shrugged. -I'm sure he could have redeemed himself eventually, if he'd tried, but he let himself go. But the basic lesson to learn from Juno Station is still: If you see your soldiers raping or plundering someone, stop them, don't join in. It's a really simple rule, one would think.-

And with another scathing look at his assembled dorm mates he walked off.

Ettar had made himself comfortable in Uthen house. To his own surprise that drove Gattler out of his home more often than not - even though he was worried for his wife.

Not that he thought that Ettar would touch her. Not that there was any danger in Ettar touching her, if he did. She was already pregnant after all and while Ettar did have a reputation for dalliances with married women, Gattler had never heard of him mistreating them or taking them by force.

He wished he could ask Razzle whether he thought such behaviour likely, if Ettar was in a situation where he could get away with it.

Maybe he ought to tell Ettar of the disease. Perhaps it would frighten or disgust him out of any ideas he might have.

-You here again?- Mohawk asked in a tone that Gattler judged to be somewhere between displeased and confused.

-Yes.- He answered simply. -I can sleep outside if you prefer.-

There were no new babies in Goura clan that he knew of, though. He ought to be safe enough.

Mohawk blinked at him stupidly, but then shrugged. He rarely understood all people said to him.

-Why not go home?- He asked. -Got a pretty woman. I only dream of my Brunhilda.-

Ah, so that was all.

-Ettar's there. I don't want to watch him ogle my wife. Or my cousin ... or anyone else I know.-

Mohawk nodded. Apparently there'd been something in there that he understood.

-Pretty bastard.- He agreed. -And now powerful, too. Had my Brunhilda once. In the weapons storage cupboard. I saw.-

-Nasty.- Gattler commented, but of course Commander Brunhilda was a free woman and could choose to have intercourse with whomever she desired.

Except Razzle, of course. The thought made Gattler's lips twitch. Once Brunhilda had approached Razzle with the offer of a nice shag in the gun storage rooms ... right in front of Mohawk as well ... and Razzle had told her to take her ugly bulk straight back to the women's changing rooms, because he had much more appealing fare at home.

-Well, I certainly wouldn't want to watch that either.- He told Mohawk. -Want to make a bet whom they'll send to attack us?-

-Uh...-

-It'll be either Point or Jesse.- He supplied. -You pick one and I'll take the other. Winner gets to make the other do something ... something fun so we can laugh about it.-

-Why Point or Jesse?- Mohawk asked. -Why not Brunhilda? I want Brunhilda.-

Gattler shrugged. -Their troops make the most sense. Ettar says so, too.-

Mohawk frowned in deep thought. It took a while.

-How he know what troops Jesse has?-

Actually, that was a really good question.

-I suppose he'll have taken some of his old ones back.- He said. -I know he wanted that when he lost them, and Razzle never really wanted the ones he took. He was just holding them for Jesse. And Jesse always liked Pointsz units a lot. He'll probably have taken similar ones if he could get them.-

-He liked Pointsz?-

-For simulations. We'd sometimes play other people's troops against each other for fun. It was hilarious. Especially the first time Jesse tried Razzlesz and was defeated by a forest that wouldn't bend.-

Those had been good days. Would they ever come again?

A rumble of thunder reminded him of the here and now.

-Can't sleep outside.- Mohawk commented. -Going to rain.-

The rainy season came much earlier on this continent. He should have remembered that. But then he didn't really mind all that much. The rain suited his mood lately.

The girl was walking straight toward him, but somehow didn't appear to see him. Jesse stood right in her way almost expecting a collision, but just a step away she finally looked up ... but she had no face.

Jesse drew back in horror, but she simply kept going, touching him ...

-Aaahhh!-

-Alright.- Lutaz said tiredly. -What was it this time?-

-The girl again.- Jesse admitted. -The girl without a face.-

-Burning to death again?-

-No, just walking right at me.-

-So what?- Razzle asked. -What's so scary about that?-

-I don't know. It's just ... Well, she has no face and she looked right at me, but she kept on going as if she wanted to walk right through me.-

-Well, if she has no face, she's probably blind.- Point offered. -So she couldn't see you. Why didn't you just step aside and let her pass?-

Why indeed?

-I don't know. It never occurred to me. I guess it was just not part of the dream. And ... well, if you'd been there and had seen her, you'd have been scared, too.-

-Who is she?- Lutaz asked.

Jesse shrugged even though they couldn't see it in the dark.

-I don't know. Just an invention of the dream, I suppose.-

-The dream is a creation of your own mind.- Lutaz informed him. -Everything in it has to come from your mind. So who or what inspired the faceless girl?-

-I don't know. Honestly. I can't think of anything ... maybe just something from a Fleshling movie I once saw and forgot?-

-Oh well, keep trying to remember.- Lutaz said. -Good night.-

Well, that had been surprisingly fast and easy tonight. Jesse closed his eyes and was almost asleep again when Razzle's voice, sharp, with an undertone ... almost of alarm woke him again.

-Jesse, when did you say the faceless girl first appeared?-

-Huh, what?-

-Oh, go to sleep, Razzle.- Gaspar complained.

-What do you mean when she appeared?- Jesse asked sleepily.

-Well, didn't you say she was a later addition to your dreams? Try to remember, did you ever dream of her before you went to Ishara?-

-No, she only appeared after I returned here. Is that relevant?-

-Yes.- said Lutaz.

-Maybe.- Said Razzle. -The burning hands first appeared in the night after you saw the Professor's scars. So, if she wasn't there from the start, I doubt she's taken from an old memory of your Fleshling days.-

-The burned hands appeared only that once.- Jesse commented. -The girl appears a lot more frequently.-

-But she still wasn't there until you returned from Ishara?- Lutaz asked. -That's definitely relevant then. Did she appear the very first night you were back?-

-No, I was drunk that night. I never had nightmares when I was drunk.-

-Did you dream of her while you were in med bay?- Razzle asked still in an odd, though much calmer tone.

Jesse thought back. Had he?

-No, I don't think so, but I'm not sure I remember every hallucination and dream I had. I definitely can't tell them apart clearly.-

-So it was after you returned to the dorm. Was ... no, of course Lutaz must have been here then. He arrived before you left med bay. Did you tell him that first dream of her?-

This only took a moment to think about.

-No, he didn't ask. It was before he started asking.-

-That can't be.- Lutaz interjected. -We've been working on your dreams since I've been here.-

-No.- said Razzle very evenly. -You only thought of that on the second day after Jesse returned. There was one night that he did wake us up with his dreams twice, but we didn't ask what they'd been, that first night after he returned from med bay. She appeared then.-

-But there was no girl, faceless or otherwise, in med bay. Unless you think she's a nurse?-

-I didn't say she must have been in med bay. Maybe something else happened that day. We ought to try to remember ... tomorrow.-

And after that Razzle did not react to any further questions or suppositions, but Jesse could have sworn that he'd had some idea that he hadn't shared with them. He'd expected the dream to have been in that night. But why didn't he say what had made him think that?


	7. Chapter 6: On Friendship

Disclaimer 1: This is fanfic. That means I do not own any of it. I just borrow it to play with for a little while and let people see the pathetic results if they really want to.

Disclaimer 2: I'm not making any money from it. It's just for fun.

Disclaimer 3: What isn't borrowed is all made up. None of this is real or most likely at all realistic. Please don't trust any of the information in here. Most likely you know more about whatever I'm writing about than I do.

Disclaimer 4: Attitudes, views and opinions expressed by the characters or in the story are not necessarily those of the author. Even when writing Science Fiction or Fantasy I do not tend to attempt to create perfect/better worlds in which everybody gets a happy end ... or whatever is best for them. Please accept that some characters will have a bad ending or be unhappy.

Disclaimer 5: I intend no insult to anyone. If I offend anyone I'm very sorry. Please understand that it was an accident as I tend to be very clumsy in these things.

A/N: Jesse discovers that he has some memory trouble and comes across an entirely new concept in Outrider culture. Gattler wonders what's wrong in his relationship with his Afrar and Razzle spends some time with his oldest remaining friend.

Chapter 6: On Friendship

Iktrz continued to move on chronologically and with a touch of surprise Jesse realised that he was finding it difficult to answer his questions. The time between leaving the academy and joining the Outriders hadn't even been all that long, less than a year in fact, but he'd gone to so many different places, met so many people, done so many things. What order had it all happened in?

-Well, the group of bandits I attacked the Star Sheriffs with came first in any case. I'd known of them for a while, mostly rejects that kept hanging around near the academy for want of anywhere else to go. I suppose everybody thought I fit right in, but I always knew I was better than that. They were just ... handy and I hadn't yet made up my mind what to do next. I also ...-

-Also?- Iktrz prompted when Jesse didn't continue on his own.

-Well, I ... I thought I had friends at the academy, that bunch of boys I told you about that used to follow me around there. I thought they liked me and that maybe some of them would continue to follow me. I suppose none of them wanted to give up their studies that close to the goal, though. It just didn't occur to me at the time.-

-They didn't tell you their reasons for not following you?- Iktrz asked sounding surprised.

-I never saw any of them again. I didn't want to visit the academy after what had happened with April. - He shuddered at the thought now. -So I sent them messages inviting them to meet me in town. Not one of them came or even replied.-

-Your friends just abandoned you?-

-I ... am not sure they really were friends. Maybe I'd been mistaken to think of them as such. That's what I concluded at the time in any case.-

-I'm beginning to see why you are reluctant to use the word friend.- Iktrz commented.

-Oh, are you?- Jesse laughed. It was better than crying. -Well, they didn't come and my plan got bungled getting my new associates either killed or arrested by the Star Sheriffs. The ones that got away wanted nothing more to do with my ideas after that so I moved on.-

Iktrz's lips twitched, but he didn't say anything. Jesse knew what he was thinking, though and chose not to address it. He didn't want to acknowledge that he might be right.

Maybe it had been Jesse's plan itself that had been faulty and not the desperadoes' execution of it. Maybe they had been right to reject him as a bad leader. Maybe his friends had been right to reject him as well, as a bad leader and for what he maybe had been about to do to April.

And maybe, if the desperadoes had not rejected his leadership or he hadn't been too proud to accept a more humble and befitting role among them, maybe then he would have stayed with them forever waiting, hoping that his old friends finally would remember him ... Maybe if one of them had kept in touch he would have, too. That had been the problem of most of the desperadoes, one last precious friend that tied them to the place. If he was honest with himself today he was pretty sure he would have belonged with them. It had been only his arrogance that had driven him on to bigger and better things, his belief in his own infallibility despite his failures.

Yes, Razzle was once again proven annoyingly right. He had only now discovered that he wasn't infallible. After ... just how many times had he failed in the past? Granted, in the beginning he simply hadn't cared what became of his associates, though he'd soon discovered that one ran out of them too quickly if one kept sacrificing them and they became increasingly hard to replace once one acquired a reputation for that. That had been a major factor in his decision to hire on with Nemesis. Thanks to their numbers and emergency vaporisation technology Outrider troops were a lot less likely to run out than Fleshling outlaws.

-What has distracted you?- Iktrz asked gently.

-Oh nothing, nothing, just trying to remember exactly where I went next. I'm pretty sure I left Yuma then, but returned at a later point. I spent some time on several different planets over the next six months or so, but I can't seem to reconstruct the chronological order. I didn't stay anywhere for very long, just struck wherever I saw an opportunity and moved on before the Star Sheriffs could catch up with me. It makes it difficult to follow my own trail now.-

-What about your ... associates?- Iktrz asked. -You must have had something to pass for ... a pack even if you had no clan, dorm or proper friends.-

Ah, yes, a loner was a difficult concept for an Outrider to grasp. They were part of a tight-knit group from childhood. ... Except Razzle hadn't been. Razzle would probably get it, but this was Iktrz he was talking to.

-Not in the way you imagine. I didn't want them either. It's not ... seen as necessary in Fleshling culture and I didn't miss it. I only wanted troops and found those among the local outlaws wherever I went. But they were just that, expendable soldiers. I never grew attached to them.-

-You were not looking for a companion? Someone more permanent to confide and trust in? An equal that would understand and support you?-

-A wife you mean? I still thought I wanted April.-

-No, no, not someone to reproduce with, a companion ...- Iktrz stopped suddenly and stared at him. -You don't recognise the word, do you?-

-Of course I do. It's in my dictionary.-

-But you are confusing it with marriage! It has nothing to do with that.-

-Well, I suppose we can safely assume I was not looking for it, if I don't even know what it is.- Jesse shrugged it off. -And I really need to get going. Razzle's expecting me for a training session.-

They'd run over again and Razzle was always a good excuse, Jesse had discovered. Iktrz idolised him despite all his unpleasantness. Besides it was technically true, even though Razzle would probably accept 'Iktrz kept me.' as an explanation just fine and certainly wouldn't keep the others waiting just because Jesse was late.

-But ... It's what Jean Claude expects from you and it's not fair to leave him thinking of you as his companion, if you don't want to or don't know how to be it.-

What, more expectations? This Outrider friend concept was already bad enough ... or was Iktrz actually talking about the same thing?

-Alright, I'll ask Jean Claude to explain it. He'll know how to put it into Fleshling terms.- Jesse promised and fled.

He didn't get around to asking until that evening, though. And then he chose to do it casually over dinner only to find that apparently he had once again put his foot in his mouth. At least the whole dorm was staring at him.

-What? You mean you don't know? How can you not know what companion means?- Gaspar gasped.

-Well, it's not his first language, you know.- Lutaz pointed out. -Of course there will be words he hasn't heard before sometimes. It's just a matter of translating them.-

-Not heard?- Gaspar countered. -He's been here for four years.-

-Have you ever actually had a conversation with a four-year-old, Gaspar?- Razzle asked too pleasantly.

-Why of course!-

-Well, then you ought to know that they ask you what things are and mean all the time. The little things don't exactly have the biggest vocabularies. Though of course, yours isn't exactly impressive either, so perhaps you didn't notice?-

-I ... what?-

To which Razzle responded with a stream of words that reminded Jesse of his first year among the Outriders when he'd simply relied on Jean Claude to translate everything he needed to know.

Judging from the looks on the others' faces, though, they were at least as puzzled as he was this time.

-Well?- Razzle said when it became clear that nobody was going to reply. -None of you?-

-Well, if you insist on talking like a tenth century bard ...- Point said a little accusingly.

-Last century at the most.- Razzle retorted. -Most of the words were still in common use in intellectual circles in my youth and I bet you'd still hear them in the right circles in the colonies. You guys should read more. It'd help you learn your own language.-

-Reading's for pansies.- Gaspar stated.

-Suit yourself.- Razzle smiled at him. -I'm used to dumbing down my speech by now.-

-So somebody who reads a lot would have understood that?- Jesse asked wondering what Carszt would have made of Razzle's demonstration.

-Not the sort of books you'd be able to master.- Razzle sneered, but then added more gently: -Maybe I'll show you someday, but it's too early now. You may be doing better than the average four year old, but you still have everyday vocabulary to catch up on.-

-Do you actually understand Orat?- Point asked suddenly. -I mean when he takes off on one of those extra pompous speeches.-

-I recognise the words.- Razzle replied putting on an haughty air. -The logic and grammatical structure of those rants however leave much to be desired.-

-Meaning?- Demanded Point.

-Meaning that he likes to sound like an intellectual, has the vocabulary, but lacks the brains.- Razzle shrugged. -I knew the genuine article back before Amiss sent them all to the vapour chambers. Orat never did. Perhaps he'd make more sense if he had.-

Was there genuine regret in his voice or was it another act?

-So what did Iktrz mean by companion?- Jesse pushed Jean Claude. -It's in my dictionary. I thought I knew what it meant, but Iktrz made it sound like something completely different.-

-It has two meanings.- Jean Claude said. -One of which is easier to translate and more likely to come up in a conversation with an alien, so that one's in the dictionary.-

-And the other one?-

Jean Claude opened his mouth to reply, thought better of it, closed it again and thought some more.

-Nothing much, actually. Don't worry about it.- He said finally.

-Don't worry about it? Iktrz said it's something you want from me.-

-What? Why are you discussing me with Iktrz? I thought you were seeing him about those nightmares. Am I a nightmare?-

-Yes, you are.- Point informed him.

Gaspar howled with laughter. Lutaz rolled his eyes.

-Stop that!- Razzle snapped and moved Point's food tray out of the way before Jean Claude could appropriate it as a weapon. -And sit down. All of you! Now ... Gaspar, shut up. Point, stop teasing before somebody hurts you.-

-That's rich coming from you.- Point retorted.

-Granted, but shut up anyway. This is important.-

They stared at Razzle, all silent and at attention almost like Cuthz's dorm in its heigh-day Jesse had never experienced this before!

-No, Jean Claude.- Razzle announced. -I don't think Jesse thinks of you as a nightmare, but that doesn't mean you can't show up in his dreams or come up in a conversation.-

-Iktrz started it, not me.- Jesse explained. -I just told him I didn't know what he meant and that I had to go to training. I never said a word about you.-

-You're supposed to tell Iktrz about everything he wants to know, though.- Lutaz lectured. -You can't just refuse to talk about Jean Claude because he doesn't like it.-

-Shut up, Lutaz.- Said Razzle. -It doesn't matter who said what, Jesse, but it does matter that Iktrz did tell you the truth. Jean Claude does consider you his companion in the other sense of the word and has been doing so for a long time. It's why you are part of this dorm in the first place.-

Lutaz opened his mouth at that, but subsided at a look from Razzle.

-So, if you don't understand your role there, sooner or later it is going to become a problem. I ... could give you a whole list of poetic euphemisms for companion, but I don't know what it is in Fleshling. So, Jean Claude, could you please give Jesse the translation and explain any differences between the concepts before there are any mayor fallouts?-

-It just means "friend" really.- Jean Claude said a little impatiently. -I don't see why you're making such a fuss about it. We've always gotten along fine without any special vocabulary.-

-No, it doesn't!- Razzle snapped. -I've heard "friend" used for a temporary and highly unreliable ally.-

-I've heard it used for a rival that attends the same school by Fleshling teachers.- Jesse remarked. -It's not exactly my favourite word. And you have the word friend. Companion doesn't mean the same thing, does it?-

-Yes, it does.- Jean Claude said.

-No, it doesn't.- Razzle said with just as much conviction.

Jesse looked from one to the other, then at Lutaz, Gaspar and Point. -Help?-

-Not the same.- Said Point.

-So what is the difference?- Jesse asked. -Forget the Fleshling word. What if a child asked you? Imagine some tiny cousin toddles up to you and wants to know why a companion is not a friend. What do you say?-

-A companion is a friend.- Razzle said. -But not every friend is a companion. There's a lot more to it.-

-Okay then, whom would you call a companion and whom not? Is Lutaz your companion?-

Both Razzle and Lutaz yelped and drew apart.

-No!-

-But Lutaz does count as your friend, right?-

-Yes, of course.-

-Is there a sexual component to this after all?-

The question felt safe enough to pose to Razzle who had once given him a long and detailed lecture about the proper use of Outrider contraceptives.

Lutaz yelped again, Jean Claude grew very red and hid his face in his hands and Razzle roared with laughter.

-Do I take that as a no?- Jesse asked Lutaz since Razzle sounded like he wouldn't be able to catch his breath enough to speak for a while.

-Well, I wouldn't say that sex can't be involved.- Razzle said proving that Jesse had thoroughly underestimated him. -Mohawk for example definitely wanted both from Brunhilda. She wasn't in the least inclined to give him either, though, so don't run off with any ideas now. Most of the time companionship and sex have nothing to do with each other, but they aren't mutually exclusive.-

-But I was implying something too intimate between you and Lutaz?-

-Yes, much too intimate.-

-A friendship so intimate that to imply it with a person that actually is your friend is awkward, yet it has nothing to do with sex? Well, at least I see what the translation problem is now.-

-Really?- Lutaz said. -Because I can't imagine what's so difficult about it.-

-Yep, none of you know the Fleshling word, because it doesn't exist. They don't have a concept of friendship that intimate.-

-Intimate means sex?- Razzle asked. -Perhaps you are expecting your wife to be your companion as well?-

-You mean that your marriages are only that? Physical intimacy with no actual love involved ... and love separately from sex ... Oh shit!-

Silence.

-You can't separate them?- Razzle asked a little worriedly.

-I ... give me some time to wrap my mind around the idea!- Jesse yelped.

\- Let me confuse the issue a little first then.- Razzle said calmly. -My relationship with my wife does have many elements of companionship even if it isn't one, and I believe most marriages do, or at least they ought to. But there are disadvantages to having your wife for your companion.-

Disadvantages. -Like?-

-Well, even if she does happen to be in the same place as you most of the time, which is already a rare thing among active soldiers, she won't be in your dorm and among officers it is also extremely rare that she is of the same rank. There are just so many things that you can't share, that she won't understand.-

-So a companion has to be a dorm-mate?-

-It is most convenient when he is, but he doesn't have to be. My first one wasn't even a soldier. That had its good points as well, but ... it gets lonely at times. Very, very lonely.-

-Your first one? So it isn't a lifelong bond?-

Razzle thought about it. -In a way it is. You tend to grow more distant if life events separate you and then you usually adopt a new companion after a while, but a strong friendship always remains. And ... sometimes people die. You don't stop loving them, but they are gone and you need someone that's there for you.-

And then Jesse finally realised the obvious. How could he ever have suggested Lutaz?

-Gattler.- he said.

-Gattler.- Razzle confirmed.

In a way it was reassuring. He had already suspected that Jean Claude wanted what Razzle and Gattler had after all, but at the same time ...

-I'm not sure I'm capable of that. The way you two ... I always thought that was unique.-

-Oh, it is as far as I know.- Point said suddenly. -Those two are intense. A bit of an extreme example I'd say.-

Razzle laughed. -It's because he's sick, I think. He needs protecting more than another companion would.-

-I wish.- Jesse said. -You'd just give me a clear statement on what exactly I am expected to feel and do for Jean Claude. Then maybe I could tell you whether I'm capable of it or not.-

Opinions on that however varied widely and Jean Claude himself seemed to be just as unsure what he wanted as Jesse was.

-You two really are an awkward pair.- Razzle commented, then grinned at Jesse. -Between the two of us: I suspect that Jean Claude is as new to this as you are. Which has to set a new record. Even I managed to find a companion while still at the Academy.-

-Well, if he was holding out for a clueless Fleshling ...- Gaspar smirked. -I hear those are rather rare there.-

This time Razzle was too late to intercept the tray.

-Lord Ettar was looking for you earlier.- Afrar Sesta said sharply.

Lord was it now?

-I was out.- Gattler returned.

-You shouldn't be. It is for the good of the clan that he is willing to show you so much favour, but it will damage us if you don't return proper appreciation.-

By being at Ettar's beck and call every minute of the day? He had no right to demand that. Neither of them.

-It is not really favour and I wouldn't want it if it were. Ettar is a cold-blooded monster.-

-Of course he is.- Sesta said as if talking to a two year old. -His Nastiness has to be. A good leader must be ruthless.-

-He is not His Nastiness.-

-A mere matter of time.-

-Perhaps.- Gattler allowed. -But it is far from assured even if we do win.-

-You doubt his victory? Fool. You understand even less than I thought.-

-You may think little of my knowledge of politics.- Gattler snarled remembering all the council meetings he had attended. Other Afrare valued their Commanders' political expertise. Why would his own never acknowledge that he had any at all? Even Mohawk had been given the chance to state an opinion before Goura had chosen its side. -But you do have to acknowledge that I do know war.-

-You see a chance for those pathetic has-beens? They have nothing but that useless lump of metal they used to live on and a world laid waste by recent fighting. You expect them to make a grand victory out of that?-

-Jesse does.-

-The child?- Sesta laughed.

-He usually knows what he's doing and he wouldn't throw his lot in with an obviously lost cause. Loyalty has never been his strong point, so he must be seeing an advantage in sticking with the old blood.-

-He is a foolish boy without any experience to speak of. Perhaps he has some basic knowledge of guns and renegades, but this war is far beyond the comprehension of any child. Most likely he's got some foolish notion that he's playing it safe by joining the opposite side from his clan. When Nemesis loses he'll expect to quietly rejoin his clan and be forgiven. And should Ettar lose after all he'll beg his clan's pardon off Nemesis. A cute idea, but it won't work.-

-Yet he wouldn't have any need to be prepared for Nemesissz victory, if he didn't see the old blood with a chance.- Gattler pointed out.

-A child's inability to judge chances.- Sesta snorted. -Or perhaps that of Arthez in general. That's a clan of useless idiots if ever I saw one. Now you shut up your nonsense and go make your apologies to Lord Ettar. That is an order!- He barked when Gattler made as if to object. -You do as I tell you, you damned fool.-

Gattler turned around and let the door swish closed between them. It made him feel better even if Razzle would probably have told him that it was the worst possible move he could have made. He didn't go to see Ettar as he had been ordered, though. He went to see his wife.

It was a small, childish act of rebellion, the sort of action Sesta probably expected of him, but what else could he do?

Tell Sesta that he'd do as he damned well pleased and sucking up to Ettar wasn't on the list then walk out with his head held high for all to see? It was how Jesse dealt with Afrar Hiretz, but no way Gattler would ever impress Afrar Sesta.

Yell and fight as Jean Claude did ... well, with Istar more likely than with Afrar Irozz, but the problem was similar enough? Except that Sesta had never learned to solve a problem with his fists and would probably call a disciplinary court down on Gattler rather than take a beating and be done with it.

Give his Afrar a patient look and ask him just what he was actually trying to say the way Razzle did on the rare occasions he and Afrar Thek weren't actually in full agreement? Sesta would probably take it as confirmation that the matter was over Gattler's head rather than an indication that he was behaving foolishly.

Of course he didn't have Razzle's level of experience or perception, but then Sesta hardly measured up to Thek either.

Why did other, so much more influential and experienced Afrare respect their Commanders so much more than Sesta? Of course Sesta didn't really respect anybody except for Ettar and Nemesis.

Or did he respect Nemesis? Had he only pretended to do so before the rebellion? Was he only pretending to respect Ettar now?

Razzle would have been able to tell him that, but he couldn't ask Razzle anymore. For a moment he thought about other people he might be able to ask, but then he'd have to admit that he didn't know his own Afrar at all and none of them had Razzle's skill at it.

So he merely sighed and settled for ranting at his wife telling her just how mad he was at Sesta and that he hated Ettar.

-I don't particularly like him either.- She said. -I mean, he's perfectly polite, almost too friendly at times, but he makes me uncomfortable and I don't even know why. Do win this war quickly so he'll go away, will you?-

It felt good to hear that, but didn't help any.

-Do you have to sit there?-

-Where do you want me?- Razzle asked not moving at all.

-Off of my workbench.-

Razzle shrugged and relocated to on the toolbox. There were parts stacked on all the chairs, but that was what workshop chairs were for according to his experience.

The move earned him a mildly exasperated glare which meant that he wasn't currently in the way of operations.

-What are you doing in my workshop anyway?-

-Being bored. What are you working on?-

-Electro-magnetic laser canons if you will believe it.-

That was indeed what it looked like, but Razzle failed to see the logic of it in the current situation.

-Whatever for? The only race I know that they are really effective against are the Fleshlings and they are staying in their own dimension. Sure we could jump there, but I think we are too busy here right now and whenever we do some idiots forget to deactivate those canons for the jump. Then they are so much dead weight and need replacing. Our own vehicles are hardly impressed by them. The Th'Hone probably consider them full body massage toys, but what fucking use are we supposed to make of them in a civil war?-

-See, that's exactly why I'm working on them. I'm supposed to boost the output, cheaply and quickly, mind you, so that they will be of actual use.-

-They were more of a headache in the Fleshling war, you know. We were constantly out of spare parts. Electrical weapons suck. You know what I'd like?-

-Bigger rockets?-

Razzle flinched at the word. He had not wanted to think of Rockets.

-Homing lasers, actually.- He said.

-Well, that is a reasonable challenge! How about a little deal. You convince Nemesis to stop asking me about the progress on the electro-magnetic junk and I'll see what I can do about your lasers.-

Razzle laughed.

-Well, the one is about as feasible as the other, I suppose. At least your guns will be useful if the Fleshlings start hopping in here. They always worked well on their vehicles and if we're not jumping we'll need fewer spares.-

-Fleshlings jumping into our dimension? Those animals? Get real.-

-They're not animals if you ask me. They're just very underdeveloped. And I hear they have all the means to make some developments, but no pressing need driving them to research in those directions. In fact, some people say that the only reason they haven't learned to jump yet is that our jumping over there has convinced them our dimension isn't worth the effort for them. They have more pressing concerns than fighting us over planets they don't currently need.-

-Don't need? They didn't seem to have any habitable worlds to spare for us.-

-They've just gone through an expansion wave and are in the settling phase now. Until the population density on their currently under-populated worlds grows uncomfortable, they're not likely to look further. They'd be unwise to since it would spread their forces too thin. And once they do reach that point, they'll probably look at their inner-dimensional borders before considering our dimension. After all, if there were easy pickings here, why would we have attacked them? Besides, they know they aren't really in our weight class in weapons technology. What I'd do in their place is find a way to serial produce their renegades. The one they have is a most remarkable thing, especially for a prototype, but they only ever had one, so quick production must still be an issue. If they overcome that and start jumping we might be in trouble.-

-But you don't think they will. It's almost a pity, though. I'd like to have a look inside that renegade of theirs. Their handguns don't impress me.-

-If you mean those toys Jesse brought back from there, he did say they were for children to play with, not even training weapons.-

-No, I'm talking about guns our soldiers took off prisoners. We took a few of those apart. Primitive! There's a powder that ignites on impact and that explosion propels an aerodynamically shaped piece of metal through a rod that directs its course.-

-Simple technology can be quite efficient. I bet they don't have a lot of failures or trouble finding spare parts for those. Mass production should be cheap and easy as well.-

-Granted, but they won't impress a renegade. Or even a tank. I doubt they'd do much damage to an ordinary car even. They'll need bigger and better to fight us.-

-They have bigger and better. In their vehicles. The hand guns are what they aimed at our foot soldiers, not our renegades.- Razzle reminded him. -Can I borrow some of those?-

Sanzar looked up.

-Empty gas cartridges? What for?-

-Oh, I don't know. Fill them up with a khent of compressed air each and drop them through a vent? All without risk for you, since Orat is sure to swear Jesse tried to kill him.-

Sanzar pulled the box of gas cartridges away.

-You mean to damage a wall in Istarsz dorm? Get real.-

Razzle shrugged.

-I could build you a nice fountain out of them, though.- He suggested. -It'd look splendid. Of course then they'd be all wet inside ...-

-Just what I need, bulky decorative items in my workshop. If you want to play with something, see if you can rig up a pressure chamber that'll fit on that part. Without making it too heavy to carry one-handed.-

Sanzar already had two fully trained junior technicians on that task, but they were brats right out of the Academy and so far they'd only given him stupid stares and then trudged off with the parts not to be heard from again. That hadn't given Sanzar the impression that they had much hope of accomplishing the task and while they might be more thoroughly trained, Razzle had a few decades of experience on them, knew how to apply the training he did have and was nothing if not creative. Sanzar had had worse lab assistants. In fact, there ought to be one underfoot somewhere right now, but Sanzar couldn't see him. Well, if they got lucky he'd return with a bowl of shoteze. Fetching dinner would be the most useful thing the guy had done all day.

He was standing in an empty corridor all alone. Then suddenly he heard footsteps and a girl appeared walking towards him. He opened his mouth to greet her, but he couldn't speak and she kept on walking right at him apparently unaware of his presence.

When she was just a step away he lifted his hands and reached out to stop her.

She looked up and he drew back in horror. The girl had no face!

She simply kept going, walking into and then through him like a ghost.

He screamed.

-Alright, what was it this time?- Lutaz demanded tiredly.

-So then you joined us.- Iktrz said. -Why? You thought you were a Fleshling. We were attacking the Fleshlings. Didn't you feel worried for your ... kin?-

-The Star Sheriffs had rejected me. I wanted to show them that it was a mistake. ... That sounds awfully silly, doesn't it?-

-You were fifteen. I'm rather glad I didn't get the chance to make a choice like that when I was that age.-

-You got to start the Academy, though.- Jesse pointed out. -Did you choose that?-

-No, my Afrar did. At the recommendation of my teachers, of course.-

-Did you ever regret it?-

-No. I liked the idea from the start. I was never any good at sports, so I knew the Warrior Academy would have been the wrong choice for me. The Science Academy gave me a lot of other options, though ...-

-Though?-

-It already had a lot less variety than it used to have and more and more courses kept being dropped even while I attended. His Nastiness wasn't a big fan of science.-

-Nemesis? I thought he wanted to go to the Science Academy himself?-

-Amiss, his predecessor. He was ... a different kind of nasty. Nemesis ... was a pleasant surprise, though he didn't bring back what Amiss took away. At least he hasn't yet. I suppose once we've de-vapourised everybody and Rukkat is fully functional we'll have all the room and teachers we need to have a real Science Academy again.- Iktrz smiled suddenly. -My son will have options nobody has seen for generations.-

-I do wish my siblings had the choice.-

-Maybe you could talk with your Afrar.- Iktrz suggested.

-I doubt it and it is too late now anyway. There's only Cain left and she wants to be a renegade pilot, sword master and possibly Commander on the side. No science for her. It was some of the older ones that weren't meant to be soldiers.-

-Back to your joining us, though. It can't have been easy to make contact without being killed. Why go to such lengths?-

-I thought at the time that I was going to defeat the Star Sheriffs, prove I was better than Saber Rider and win April. Because of course she'd want me after all, if I could only prove that I was the best fighter. Did I tell you that she was dating the pathetic racer the whole time? She never really cared for fighting skills. I guess she must have liked his looks. It can't have been the racing.-

-A lot of women like Commanders, I believe.-

-Well, she was a Commander's daughter. I guess officers were rather boring to her.-

-I thought most Commanders' daughters marry officers, but maybe it's different among Fleshlings.-

Jesse shrugged. -She definitely didn't want me and I now know that I don't really want her. I ... have been wondering whether it isn't actually Rissa I want.-

Iktrz started. -Rissa?- He gasped.

-Yes, she's a pirate I dated on Ishara. Granted, she's rather old, but ...-

Iktrz burst out laughing, gasped some more then forced out: - Does ... does ... Razzle ... know?-

Jesse frowned at him. He felt rather offended.

-I told him I dated a pirate, yes. Something wrong with that? He didn't seem to care and she was drop dead sexy. And I don't see how it's Razzlesz business whom I'm fucking.-

-Did ... you ... tell him ... her ... name?-

Huh? -I don't know. Why's that important?-

Iktrz had another laughing fit. -Then you didn't. Don't! ... Just ... don't.-

The reaction made Jesse wonder and he considered asking Razzle about it, but then Iktrz had specifically said not to and Jesse had no idea why.

So in the end he took his question to Jean Claude instead. His initial reaction was about as interesting as Iktrz's.

-Rissa?- Jean Claude gasped. -Your pretty pirate is Rissa?-

-Yes.- Jesse confirmed. -Why does everybody react like that? Do you know her?-

He hadn't gotten the impression that she was that infamous on Ishara.

-Not personally, no.- Jean Claude said. -But of course we all know her story and ... But Jesse, you dated Rissa? After you told me Jensz was too old for you? She could be Jenszsz mother! Heck, she's old enough to be your grandmother ... maybe even by our definition of old enough!-

Jesse had to think about that for a moment. Then he realised that of course you'd have to be an adult before you had children, so in order to be his grandmother Rissa would have had to have an at least 20 year old child when he was born and she herself would have had to have been 20 when that child was born, so 40 at his birth and ...

-She doesn't look like she could be 60.-

Jean Claude shrugged. -I suppose she could have spent some time in the chambers at some point, but if so I wonder why they took her out again. I know Razzle did, but obviously he's very useful. We don't need pirates for anything and Rissa's always been a bad apple. Besides as far as I know she doesn't have any qualifications other than a long list of crimes and misdemeanours. If we really had a use for a pirate, I'm sure we have a less troublesome one stored down there.-

-Well, maybe she isn't 60 then.- Jesse suggested. -You're probably just misremembering some date.-

-She was born the same year as Razzle. There's no misremembering that.-

-Well, then Razzle isn't as old as you think. Maybe you're wrong about him spending time in the chambers. You told me yourself that he's had a hard life. Maybe that's left him looking older than he actually is.-

-He was a year behind my Afrar at the Academy.- Jean Claude countered. -So he'd be 60, if he hadn't lost a few years in the chambers at some point. Rissa is too old for you. That's a fact. Won't you reconsider about Jensz?-

Jesse sighed. -Your sister is very pretty, Jean Claude, but I'm not in love with her and I definitely don't want to get married. You wouldn't want me to play with her, would you?-

-I don't know.- Jean Claude seemed to be seriously considering the idea. -If you don't feel like marrying yet, though, maybe you'd consider waiting for Jenny to grow up?- 


	8. Chapter 7: Girls, Girls, Girls

A/N: Gattler wonders about his value to the clan, Razzle finds some distraction and Jesse is troubled by a picture.

Chapter 7: Girls, Girls, Girls

-I like this war. It's the best we've ever had.-

Gattler was so perplexed by the statement that he almost forgot to parry, but luckily Cirke wasn't old enough to have the strength to break through even a half-hearted block by force.

-What?- was all he managed to say in reply.

-I like this war.- Cirke repeated whirling her right sword around in an elaborate feint while she attacked low with the left. -It brought you home. All the other wars always took you away. And I like it when you're here. You're much more fun than Auntie.-

-Cirke, you have no idea what you're saying.-

Liking a civil war! The very idea!

-Of course I do. Just look: We're having a really fun sword-training right now. And you take us swimming and hiking and things. I haven't had this much fun in months. Auntie never really takes us places. She just tells stories all the time. And everybody else is always busy. And I was sick the last time you visited and missed out on all the fun.-

-Cirke, I am here because the first battles of this war are probably going to be fought on this very planet.- Gattler explained swiping her sword aside easily.

-Yes, and we'll get to see it all for once. And you'll always be home for dinner.-

Didn't this child have any idea what a war was at all?

-You are not going to watch if you can help it.- He ordered sternly. -You're going to run as far from it as you can and hide. Watching battles can get you killed.-

Cirke looked disappointed.

-But at least you'll be home for dinner and can tell us all about it.- She declared after a moment.

-If I am home for dinner and not still on the battlefield and we still have a home to eat in and food to eat and it is safe to sit down and eat it. A battle is the most chaotic thing you can imagine, Cirke. You have to be ready for anything to happen ... and they are very rarely good things. Things like homes getting destroyed, people getting hurt and killed or getting lost and captured. There aren't a lot of things I can predict right now, but one thing is sure. Once this war really starts there will be a lot less sword-fighting practise and no more hiking and swimming trips. They'll be much too dangerous.-

She frowned, but quite soon her face lit up again.

-It will be an adventure in any case.-

Gattler could only hope that she'd survive her adventure. If she did she'd probably never want another and that was fine by him. Cirke was not meant to be a soldier. She was much too valuable to their clan to risk her life needlessly.

Sometimes Gattler wondered why he'd been chosen as one whose life should be risked. Of course some clan members had to be in order to maintain the clan's noble status, but did it mean that he had been deemed less valuable than the boys and girls that had remained on Arthame?

He was proud of his position and wouldn't want to change it for the world, but the thought still hurt.

Istar had been glaring at Razzle ever since his arrival ... or well, perhaps it was more just to say ever since Razzle had closed the door of the dorm in his face.

Razzle knew he had no right to complain, even though he wasn't in the mood to be fair, and he didn't. He quite simply didn't care how Istar felt, and if it kept the Devil's attention off the currently rather peculiar behaviour of his older son that was an unexpected bonus.

As for Jesse, whom Razzle had originally meant to protect by the act, the boy seemed to have recovered perfectly well. Rather too well, Razzle thought. Not that he was over the nightmares or insecurity, but he was acting normal enough to fool Istar and unless Moku had lied about the effectiveness of the medicine he'd given him, he really hadn't touched any alcohol since his return from med bay. Did he really have no cravings at all, though? Razzle hadn't thought that that was possible, but then he knew very little about medicine and less about half-Fleshlings. Perhaps Fleshlings were less susceptible to alcoholism than Outriders, or at least able to bounce back more easily after treatment.

Either way you had to give it to Jesse, he knew how to put up a tough front even if his indifferent act still needed work.

So did Istar's as the glares proved, but then Razzle wasn't sure Istar had ever practised it at all. That one was really too easy where his emotions and thought processes were concerned. It was downright boring. Time to spice things up a little.

-You know.- Razzle informed Istar as they met in the corridor outside Nemesis' office. -I don't think Jesse named you correctly after all.-

Istar blinked trying to assimilate the unexpected remark.

-Jesse?- He asked then.

-Yes.- Razzle confirmed. -From what little I know about them Fleshling cats appear to be quite a bit more complex creatures than your average cumbat. They are clever, you know, and very good at pretending disinterest in their prey. You are not deluding yourself that you are up to that mark, are you?-

There was an impact and for a moment Razzle saw only stars. When they cleared he was flat on his back and gasping for air through a somehow obstructed and painful throat.

Perhaps he had gone a little too far, but then he didn't really feel any worse than after the time Istar and Amiss had waylaid him on his return from the science wing outside class hours.

He rolled over and tried to get to his feet. Yes, as long as he had a wall to support him he could stand just fine. He'd be able to walk down to med bay at the very least. Swallowing hurt, though.

What was surprising was that Istar was no longer pummelling him, but still around. But then again that might be due to the fact that Istar was talking to ... or rather being hissed at by ... Nemesis.

-He insulted me!- Seemed to be all Istar had to say in reply.

Ah yes, they weren't at the Academy anymore. Hurting Razzle tended to displease people other than just Razzle these days.

-I ... merely ... commented.- Razzle rasped wondering whether he was actually making comprehensible enough sounds. It was rather painful.

-I know the sort of comments you make.- Nemesis stated coldly, but kept his attention on Istar. -And I need all my Commanders right now. Alive if at all possible. So try to strike back verbally next time.-

So he was understandable. Good to know. Speaking was too painful to inform Nemesis that he was being unfair, however. Telling Istar to fight Razzle verbally, at least in Razzle's opinion, amounted to the verbal equivalent of ordering an unarmed foot soldier to stop Razzle's tank.

-You're blaming Istar for Razzlesz attitude now?-

Ah, Orat was around as well? That one actually qualified for a verbal sparring match. But of course, right now that would hurt, so Razzle decided to postpone it.

-I know Razzlesz attitude and so do you. Since none of us have murdered him for it before, I believe it is unnecessary to do so now when I need him more than ever. You will therefore find less damaging ways to reply.- Nemesis informed Istar and then turned to Razzle. -And as for you ...-

Razzle shrugged at him. -I've ... had ... worse.-

-I don't care. Stop inviting trouble or I'll show you just how nasty His Nastiness can really get.-

Probably every bit as painful as Istar, except that he wouldn't enjoy it and wasn't likely to forget when he wanted to leave someone alive.

Razzle was a lot less scared of Nemesis in the full regalia of his office than he had been of Amiss long before that one had held any office at all.

He shrugged again and went to see Moku about the throat problem. Not that it wouldn't most likely heal just fine without the head doctor's attention, but it would be a distraction and you never knew what you might learn.

-Exactly how did you get this injury anyway?- Moku asked regarding Razzle's bruised and in one place actually slightly crushed throat rather doubtfully.

The only explanation he could imagine was that this was the result of a sparring match and in that case he really needed to have a word with Jean Claude. Broken bones were one thing that he had long since given up trying to explain to Cats-Of-War was unnecessarily brutal in training situations, but crushed windpipes were quite another matter.

This injury could have been deadly if Razzle had made a wrong move or it had been just a touch harder.

-Istar.- Was all Razzle replied.

Of course it was quite sufficient, avoided further aggravating the injury and hindered the examination less then a longer statement would have.

-You actually spar with Istar?-

He hadn't thought anybody would do that if they could avoid it.

-No. I commented on his nickname.-

-You ... Don't you know insulting Istar is hazardous to your health?-

He regretted the words the moment they'd left his mouth. He could have said this to Jesse or even Gattler without earning himself more than an annoyed look. Razzle however was not one with whom one could take such liberties.

-Hazarding my health is part of my job description and as for insulting Istar, my existence has always been sufficient to do that. Now if, on the other hand, your knowledge is insufficient to do anything about this little scratch, I'll be off. I've survived worse from Istar and others without any medical assistance. Whatever possessed me to come here expecting you to help it I do not know. I suppose my brain must still have been addled from blacking out.- Razzle snarled getting up and thus withdrawing his throat from reach.

At least Moku had already straightened out the dent, though it did still require some salve and bandaging. And talking this much ought to be painful and would do further injury to Razzle's throat.

-I am a highly qualified ...-

-By whose standards? Amisssz? Well, the great cutter of relevant courses would think a man incompetent enough to kill his own mother would make a perfectly good head doctor. I'll see to my own injury, thank you.-

He let Razzle walk out even though he knew he ought to insist on finishing the treatment. He sat down and stared after his patient instead of moving on to his other duties.

He should have replied. He should have called Razzle a damned bastard, reminded him that years had passed between the error that had killed his poor mother and his promotion to head doctor.

He should have, but Razzle would not have forgiven it and his throat was all choked up and probably less functional than Razzle's right now.

The tears began to fall before he even reached his office.

-So what was it like to live among us when you still thought you were a Fleshling?- Iktrz asked. -You were the only one of your species except for that Commander of theirs that we once kept prisoner, weren't you?-

-That was later.- Jesse snapped. -By then I knew that I am an Outrider and Commander Eagle meant nothing to me. It could have been awkward earlier.- He admitted. -He was April's father, but I suppose I was over her by then. She was another species after all.-

-Yes, but wasn't it awkward to live among a race superior to the one you thought to be your own?-

Jesse laughed. -The Fleshlings have their own ideas of which race is superior, Iktrz, and the personnel Nemesis gave me to work with didn't exactly form a strong argument in favour of the Outrider perspective. I remained quite proud of being a Fleshling for some time after I knew I wasn't, if that makes any sense.-

Iktrz pondered. -I suppose it does. But you were living in a strange dimension among a foreign race.-

-Not really. I spent most of the first year on various bases in the Fleshling dimension and only visited here to attend meetings. I had a room and an office here of course, but rarely stayed more than a night or two at a time. That only changed when the Fleshlings' search for me grew too intense for comfort and I decided to move my base of operations out of their reach. It was my own choice and anything but a sudden transition.-

He'd been used to the sounds and sights of an Outrider base by then at least. Adopting their lifestyle and actually becoming comfortable enough to allow touch had been a different matter. He didn't think Iktrz needed to know that, though. His ability to feel attraction to and have sex with a green-skinned woman left him quite sure that he was completely over that problem.

-Tell me your first impressions of us, though? What seemed strange? Who were the first people you got to know and what did you think of them then? Just for curiosity's sake.- Iktrz suggested.

Jesse suspected that there was more behind it than mere curiosity, but it would keep them off much more unpleasant topics for a while longer so he obliged.

When Jesse returned to the dorm that afternoon he found Razzle there alone rummaging around in his storage space. It seemed to be pretty full in there.

-What's this?- He asked laughingly. -Spring cleaning?-

-No, just rearranging some things.- Razzle returned hoarsely refusing to take the bait. He closed the panel and turned around with a rectangular object in his hand.

-And now you can't fit that back in?- Jesse teased nodding towards it.

-No, just trying to decide whether I want to.-

His voice was still slightly raspy and his neck bruised, but he seemed to be recovered enough to get up and dig around in cupboards so Jesse decided not to worry about the rumour that Istar had tried to strangle him that morning giving Lutatz a chance to finally show off his medical skills on somebody other than Jesse. Razzle was old enough to know what he was doing.

-Eh?-

Razzle laughed at Jesse's puzzlement.

-It's a picture of Kiervie.- He explained holding it out to Jesse. -It used to stand in my office, but after her death I didn't like to see it, so I put it away.- He nodded at the panel. -Now, I think it might be time to put it back in its proper place.-

Kiervie. The young woman that had died because of his mistake. Jesse tried to appear casual as he took the picture and glanced at it, but he was sure that Razzle noticed that his hand shook and then he couldn't take his eyes off the girl.

-She was beautiful.- He couldn't help admitting.

He hadn't expected that. Razzle himself was an ugly old monster ... or so he'd always thought. Looking past that metal plate in his face he didn't really seem that monstrous now that Jesse had gotten used to people having green skin.

Kiervie had had that same skin tone and also Razzle's black hair, but there were no visible scars in her face and her features had been more delicate, more feminine reminding him more of Rissa who happened to have green skin and black hair as well. Damn it!

-Very beautiful.-

Razzle laughed. -You need a girlfriend.-

-Are you offering to ...- And then he remembered that Kiervie was dead and Razzle couldn't introduce them even if he wanted to.

He had never met the girl and now he never would. She was no more.

He thrust the picture back into Razzle's hands and fled.

Razzle found him in the gym half an hour later even though Jesse was quite sure that he wasn't allowed to go there while officially sick ... if Lutatz had officially reported him sick. Of course, what Lutatz could do about Razzle going to the gym against his medical advice other than whine to Nemesis who'd have no patience whatsoever for the topic ...

-You alright, Puppy?-

-Yeah, fine.- He said giving the practise dummy another kick.

-Don't go breaking gym equipment again.- Razzle admonished. -Not because you didn't like a picture.-

-Oh, but I did like it.- Jesse admitted obligingly abandoning the dummy and hopping down to where Razzle was standing. -I liked it too much. I meant it when I said she was beautiful. I ... thought I might have liked to get to know her, but I can't and it's my own damned fault.-

She'd have been the right age, too, unlike Rissa, but still enough like her to stir up that same desire ... Apparently he had a thing for green skinned girls. And Kiervie had been a noble born Outrider, old blood, and despite the lack of one grandfather her pedigree was probably better than that of any random Arthez. Kiervie had been a woman he could have brought home to Varen proudly ... wouldn't Cozz and his pretty merchant's daughter have stared? ... Of course Razzle probably would have known how to prevent it. A girl like that could do a lot better than marry a half-Fleshling, but Jesse liked a good challenge and Razzle certainly would have posed one.

-It's not.- Razzle stated suddenly. -It was her own stubbornness and her teacher's rule-bending that killed her. She should not have been up there, even if you hadn't done anything at all. I don't even know whether it was the explosion that killed her. She could just as well have been shot down by Ramrod. In fact, that is a lot more likely. The explosion was most effective on the ground. She could have avoided the worst of it. Do you think if you'd been a good little boy and had obeyed your orders, the Fleshlings would have sat back and awaited the destruction of their planet as well? We'd have been attacked anyway and Kiervie was up in the air in a fighter plane. They must have thought that she was a fully trained pilot sent to intercept them. And she was a threat to them. That plane did have functional guns and she had learned how to use them. She might have tried to join the battle.-

-She might have, but she didn't. It was my mistake that killed her. Maybe she was killed by the Star Sheriffs, yes. And maybe she could have lived, maybe we could have gotten married and had a horde of little quarter Fleshlings. How'd you have liked that?-

Razzle's fists clenched and he closed his eyes for a moment, but all his face showed was pain, not the anger Jesse had been aiming for. He hadn't meant to hurt him more.

-And maybe she'd have graduated and joined the army only to be killed in her first battle. It might still have been in this revolution. There'll be no vaporising out of our battles in this war. This is our own dimension, our own people.-

-That's not new to me.- Jesse reminded him. -The Badlander never was equipped to vaporise.-

Razzle snorted.

-Of course it is. If it's equipped to jump, it's equipped to vaporise. They just never told you how to turn that function on.-

-Same difference?-

-Yes, but do come along and we'll have a look at that. You ought to know how to use everything your ship can do and having a jump capable ship at risk of being stranded in the Fleshling dimension isn't exactly the smartest thing we ever did. We don't want that race to get too many samples of our technology.-

He was right of course.

He was standing in the middle of the corridor and a girl was walking towards him, but he couldn't see her face until she looked up and smiled at him.

-Kiervie!- He said and reached out to her.

She laughed and threw herself into his arms ... and passed right on through him like a ghost.

-Noo!-

And once again the lights came on.

-So what was it this time?- Lutaz asked wearily.

-You're not going to believe it.-

-Try me.-

-Well, I was standing in that corridor again and a girl ...-

-The girl without a face again?-

-No, not her. This time it was Kiervie. Razzle showed me a picture of her today ... and promptly she's in my nightmare.-

-I didn't think Kiervie was that ugly.- Gaspar commented. -Or scary.-

-She wasn't.- Jesse growled. -It wasn't even a bad dream until she passed right through me.-

-And?- Lutaz prompted.

-And what?-

-Well, what happened next?-

-Nothing, that was the whole dream.-

-Well, what would you do if people started walking through you all of a sudden?- Jean Claude asked. -I think that'd be pretty scary. What could you do, if your enemies couldn't feel you hit them anymore?-

-But then they couldn't hit me anymore either.- Lutaz returned very logically. -So I'd be fine.-

Razzle, uncharacteristically, said nothing at all.

The next conversation with Iktrz predictably focussed on the time Jesse had found out that he was an Outrider. Jesse obliged the psychologist by chatting about Laxus, Marzze and his siblings at length, described his impressions of Varen and the clan's home.

-It's a pretty place.- He commented. -The only thing wrong with it were the people inside.-

-You don't like your clan?-

-I like my siblings. Some of them even a lot, others ... Cozz and I never got close, but he's a decent guy, I suppose. Irzhe ... She kept insisting that I should call her my mother and trying to hug me. I don't like such forced intimacy.-

-It is a great kindness and probably also a sacrifice on her part, you know.- Iktrz remarked.

-She doesn't seem very sacrificing, rather overeager.-

-You were born before her marriage, weren't you?-

-Why yes, what does that have to do with anything?-

-Well, then she does have every right to refuse to claim you. All children born to her husband after the marriage are legally hers. Those born before she can choose to adopt or not. If she had chosen not to, you would be a bastard by our law and that ...-

-Yes, I know. Razzle gave me a long lecture on bastards in Outrider society.-

Iktrz winced. -Another sacrifice.-

-Maybe so.- Jesse allowed. -But where's Irzhesz sacrifice in this? I don't see how it hurts her to claim one bastard more or less.-

-You don't think it's painful for a woman to deal with the children her husband had with other women all the time? Every one of those children Marzze has brought home to her was like a slap in the face, telling her that all her efforts on his behalf, the children she bore him, her kindness in raising his children aren't good enough for him. He must still have others. And every one of those children needs bringing up, teaching, caring for. It's a lot of work and unlike some Afrare Marzze is hardly ever home to share in that work.-

-He doesn't when he is home either.- Jesse sneered.

-And yet you don't see the sacrifice in waiving her right to refuse a child when she finally has it?-

He had to admit that from that perspective Iktrz had a point.

-I don't need any more bringing up.-

Iktrz's lips twitched.

Jesse glared. Iktrz remained silent, probably fighting to control his features.

-Anyway, she seems to love them all. I mean, she does sometimes seem to favour Cato and Caibe a little, but she definitely doesn't hate the others. Not even me and I should think I've given her reasons.-

-I suppose she likes children. They need her and it isn't their fault that they aren't her blood. She has to suffer a lot from being Marzzesz wife, though. I think you ought to bear that in mind next time you see her.-

-Maybe.- Jesse allowed. -But you do realise that it's no more a bastard's fault who he is born to than those allegedly legitimate children's that are not their mother's blood. It's not fair.-

-What's this now? Are you feeling sorry for Razzle?-

Yes. Dammit!

-No. It's just ... In Fleshling society both would be equally considered bastards, but the only blame attached would be to the parents. In fact a married man that fathers a child on a woman not his wife is considered to be much more at fault than an unmarried one. He can still have intended marriage, or they might have chosen not to have an official ceremony. I was raised to consider that perfectly acceptable.-

-But then you should understand why I pity Irzhe.- Iktrz said.

-Yes, I suppose so.- Jesse allowed.

-But it is getting late again. Maybe we should continue this tomorrow.-

Jesse grinned. -Much as I'd love to, I'm afraid we can't. We're leaving on our mission tomorrow morning. So, unless you'd like to accompany us to Arthame and watch the fighting ...-

To Jesse's surprise Iktrz seemed honestly regretful when he declined.

-I would love to see Arthame someday, but I can't just up and leave my other duties. If you'd told me a week or two ago ...-

-I didn't really think you'd want to come on a battle mission to be honest and Arthame isn't exactly the best holiday destination.-

-Isn't it?- Iktrz asked. -From all I've heard I'd assume it to be quite the tropical paradise, though you are right about the battle mission.-

-Not from the way Razzle describes it. That sounded more like a planet-sized health hazard. You wouldn't believe all the vaccinations I had to get for this mission.-

-Oh well, that is some consolation. I still suspect that the place is pretty, though.-


	9. Chapter 8: First Strike, First Casualty

Disclaimer 1: This is fanfic. That means I do not own any of it. I just borrow it to play with for a little while and let people see the pathetic results if they really want to.

Disclaimer 2: I'm not making any money from it. It's just for fun.

Disclaimer 3: What isn't borrowed is all made up. None of this is real or most likely at all realistic. Please don't trust any of the information in here. Most likely you know more about whatever I'm writing about than I do.

Disclaimer 4: Attitudes, views and opinions expressed by the characters or in the story are not necessarily those of the author. Even when writing Science Fiction or Fantasy I do not tend to attempt to create perfect/better worlds in which everybody gets a happy end ... or whatever is best for them. Please accept that some characters will have a bad ending or be unhappy.

Disclaimer 5: I intend no insult to anyone. If I offend anyone I'm very sorry. Please understand that it was an accident as I tend to be very clumsy in these things.

A/N: And the war finally starts for real.

Chapter 8: First Strike, First Casualty

A sudden howl woke Ettar. Multicoloured lights flickered overhead.

-Aha! They're coming!-

He jumped out of bed, threw on his armour and raced into his command room.

-Do we have visual yet?- He demanded of the young officer commanding the night shift.

-Yes, but I'm afraid I can't identify them.- The woman answered. -It's not Point in any case, but I thought Commander Jesse prefers a one-man vessel.-

Ettar frowned. He'd never seen the Badlander either, but the deep purple drop-ship on the monitor was as familiar of old as it was unexpected.

-That's Lutazsz ship.- He commented more to himself than the officer. -But is it the Professor himself, or has Point or Jesse borrowed it for the mission to save fuel for his smaller ships?-

Another monitor flickered on, showing Gattler's face rather than Mohawk's as it ought to. Ettar wasn't really surprised. Gattler was avoiding him to the point of preferring the rival house to his own home. It wasn't a pleasant development, though not entirely unexpected. Gattler had not been able to hide his displeasure with the current political situation, or his continued attachment to Razzle. Really. A man should never form a sincere friendship across political lines.

Well, he'd make sure of Gattler one way or another.

-Have a look at that.- Ettar ordered tilting the camera towards the first screen. -What do you think it's carrying? Not actually medical supplies, is my bet.-

Gattler stared. -Lutaz?-

-I expect it's a loan.- Ettar explained with a slight sneer. Gattler never had been much of a strategist. -It allows them to land their actual battle vehicles with full tanks and keep us guessing about their identity and what they have. So, who'd you say it actually is?-

-Point most likely.- Gattler said annoyingly readily. -Jesse has never met Lutaz and wouldn't be likely to know what sort of ship he has.-

That made sense, though from what Gattler had told him about Jesse before he was a much better strategist than Point. This seemed beyond what Ettar would have thought Point capable of coming up with.

-He may have thought of using a drop-ship first and then asked where he could get one. Either way we have their trajectory. Dispatch strikers to receive them. We'll open this with a free for all in the air.-

-They are right over your head.- Gattler commented. -It's faster if you send your own strikers straight up and ...-

The bottom hatch of the drop-ship opened instead of the expected side launch and out tumbled a huge, heavy tank on a parachute.

-Razzle!?- Had Nemesis gone completely insane?

-Get out of there!- Gattler barked. -You can't fight that thing straight on. Disappear into the forest where he can't follow.-

Ettar cursed,but scrambled to do as Gattler had suggested. It would be extremely uncomfortable, but as long as Razzle had no mobile strike force, they could leave him in control of the compound - and the compound only.

He dashed to his ship where he activated the radio even before the weapons systems.

-Status!- He barked.

Not a sound. Gattler had disappeared.

And Razzle was in position now. Ettar only just managed to jump out of the way in time. Several of his striker pilots were a lot less lucky. These huge tanks moved slowly and took a lot of time to aim their guns, but once they were ready to fire, there wasn't much that could withstand them for long. Definitely not any of the lightly armoured vehicles he'd stationed here.

-Fall back into the forest and spread out!- He ordered. -Rendezvous coordinates will be transmitted later.-

Gattler would probably know a convenient position they could use as a local guerilla headquarters. Ettar himself flew straight for Goura house, though.

About half an hour into the flight his radio blinked.

-Gattler? Where ...-

-Three more drop-ships.- Gattler reported calmly. -Each carrying several tanks that have been dropped in the population centres. We have been driven back into the forests. Mohawk is engaged in a fire-fight with Jesse and his strikers near the northern ridge.-

-Razzle and Jesse?- Ettar gasped.

-You brought both Mohawk and me.- Gattler pointed out. -I admit I'd never have expected that combination here either, but it looks highly effective so far.-

-Good.- Jesse said. -We've got them now.-

And then just as the main group of enemy strikers broke out of the forest to the east all firing on that side ceased abruptly.

What the hell?

After a moment of total silence there was the light of another shot and then a second and third and shortly his soldiers appeared to be firing after the enemy, but the main force had passed them and there was little chance they'd bring down more than a straggler or two now.

Furious and worried Jesse snatched up Azpet's radio.

-Jatt? What the fuck happened over there?-

The only answer was a sob.

-Jatt!- Radio still in hand Jesse started to run back to his ship.

-We ... killed him.- Jatt sobbed. -He was so beautiful and we killed him.-

-Excuse me? This is a war, Jatt.- Jesse hopped into the Badlander and started the engine in one single motion. -We're supposed to kill people. That's what it's all about. What do they teach you at the Academy?-

More sobbing, but no proper reply. Had it been a mistake to hire Jatt? Of course this was only his first battle and while Jesse had had men straight from the Academy before, their fights had been in the Fleshling dimension where the Outrider vaporisation technology had made it highly unlikely that they'd see another Outrider get killed. Considering Razzle's dismissal of Jean Claude's experience killing them Fleshlings probably weren't that real to young Outriders, so maybe this reaction was normal and Jatt would get over it after the first shock wore off?

Or maybe the boy had never been fit to be a soldier. Had Istar forced him into a profession he'd never be able to handle? Could Jatt still transfer to the Science Academy if that was the case? Jatt's oldest sibling, Jensz, was working in the chemical lab of the Warworld base and didn't have to deal with battle first-hand. Maybe Jatt should have followed in her footsteps rather than in Jean Claude's and Istar's?

He landed next to Jatt's glider which sat on the muddy road, deactivated and abandoned except for the three wing leaders who were hovering next to it on their own gliders.

Jesse jumped out and approached the oldest of them signalling for her to land with an impatient gesture.

-Commander ...-

-What the fuck happened here?- Jesse demanded.

-I ... well, to be honest I don't know myself Commander.- The woman said apologetically. -As far as I could observe everything was going perfectly fine. We were firing at the enemy. They came straight at us and then Subcommander Jatt ordered us to stop firing and they all got away. Whatever the problem was, it wasn't with my wing.-

Jesse waved her off. Pass the blame could be an amusing game when you had the leisure and wanted to grill your subordinates. Right now he wanted to get Jatt straightened out, though.

-So where is Jatt now?-

-He ran that way.- She said pointing down the road.

Indeed there in the distance someone was crouching next to a dark form on the ground. A form that did not look like an Outrider soldier ... nor did it appear all that dead. Jesse started to walk towards it, but somehow found himself running when there was a sudden screech and movement and Jatt jumped back clutching his arm.

Whatever had he ... and then Jesse was close enough to see. He stopped and stared, then slowly walked closer. He'd seen pictures of Cats of War and actually held a stuffed toy version once, but he'd never realised how big they actually were. If this specimen had still been able to stand on his four legs his shoulders would have been about as high as Jesse' hip.

It didn't look like he'd ever stand again, though. He was lying on his side, his hind-legs covered in blood, but he was still snarling, showing his teeth to best, terrifying effect.

Of course the huge fangs, not quite as long as a Fleshling's forearm, didn't need presenting.

The front paws were resting on the ground now, but one glance at the torn armour on Jatt's right arm made it very clear to Jesse that those claws still were a serious threat.

-Alright, I admit that he is magnificent.- Jesse allowed. -Pity he got hurt, but what the fuck were you thinking to stop firing?-

-I was trying to save his life.- Jatt said as if it were the obvious thing to do. -And I failed. It's an awful omen ... awful ...-

-It's an unfortunate accident. An innocent animal in the wrong place at the wrong time.- Jesse snapped. -Sad, but it does not predict the future in any way. I'll predict something for you, though. Those escaped rebels will give us all a lot of trouble, but especially you. You disobeyed your orders and messed up our mission. I think that earns you several days of arrest at the very least. And that's probably a picnic compared to what your Afrar will do to you when we get home.-

While Jesse himself wasn't looking forward to explaining this to Razzle and Lutaz neither of them had the authority to punish him or Jatt for it. It wouldn't keep them from criticising, though.

-Do you realise what a big favour it was to hire you as a Subcommander when you haven't even finished officers' training? I've been criticised a lot over that. Can you imagine what those critics will say now? I should have promoted Nisse, or one of the other fully trained wing leaders. That's what they'll say. And you know what? They'll be right! I'll have no argument against that! We lost to fucking Mohawk today! All because of you and you alone!-

-But.- Said Jatt apparently completely unimpressed. -The cat.-

Jesse stared at him for a moment. Never before had he encountered a Subcommander that was entirely unbothered by his threats ... at least not one that took him seriously in general and Jatt had never given him the impression that he didn't before.

For a moment Jesse considered challenging him right there and then. Wipe the floor with him once and he'd respect him for sure. It had worked on all those others. But Jesse knew that it would be a bad move. Jatt had been raised on the same hand to hand combat training as Jean Claude. There was no chance in hell that Jesse could so thoroughly beat a Cat-of-War that he'd be cowed for life. He had to humiliate Jatt in some other way.

A glance at the three wing leaders gave him an idea.

-Scatt, find me some med officer to see to Jattsz arm! Nisse, take command of Jattsz units. Assemble and then take up the assigned stations. I expect everybody to know where those are.-

They'd never catch up with Mohawk now.

-But we can't just leave him here!- Jatt protested. -We have to at least try to move him to safety!-

Jesse glanced at the huge, snarling cat. He could shoot him to spare him further suffering, but there was no way they'd get close enough to treat or gather him up for transport until he'd be too far gone to save.

-Do I have to have you arrested? Get your arm bandaged and then return to base. That's an order and even you ought to know that those must be obeyed.-

Jatt opened his mouth to argue further, but Jesse turned his back on him and headed back to his ship.

By the time he reached it his fury had abated a little. He climbed into the cockpit, started the engine and then just sat there for a moment. It was a beautiful beast and possibly an endangered species and it couldn't hurt just to ask, could it?

Jesse picked up his radio.

-Lutaz?-

-Yes?-

Well, he was there in any case.

-You don't happen to have a vet on your crew, do you?-

-I have two experts in exo-medicine.- Lutaz returned. -For the treatment of alien prisoners, if that's what you need.-

Exo-medics? Was the cat even an alien life-form from the perspective of an Outrider? Jesse thought he remembered Jean Claude saying that they had been native to the original home-world once.

-Well, it's worth a try, I guess. Send one of them over, with whatever you use to immobilise a prisoner that's dangerous and unwilling to cooperate and we'll see whether it works on a rather unusual patient.-

The red jungle had stopped bothering Jesse after the first few minutes. There were vaguely similar worlds in the Fleshling dimension, even though it was very unlike any of the worlds Jesse had ever really lived on. What did seem strange was the ... emptiness of the planet.

Oh, there was jungle enough, with trees and bushes and probably all manner of wildlife that he hadn't seen yet, because the noise of engines and laser fire had scared it into hiding. What Jesse missed in his flight over the continent were buildings.

Only once did he notice a cluster of pathetic little huts. When he slowed down and sank lower for a closer look they turned out to have been built from woven together twigs. They reminded Jesse of pictures he'd seen of stone-age level cultures' homes back in History lessons at the orphanage.

But there was no intelligent native life on Arthame. The inhabitants of those huts had to be descendants of Outrider settlers that had come here in huge technologically advanced, though by now somewhat outdated, space ships. How could they be living in huts so primitive that the much less advanced Fleshlings had long since abandoned them?

Then again, maybe this was something like a camping ground? He supposed children might enjoy living like that for a week or two. But then where were the actual settlements? They couldn't all be tiny enough to disappear under the trees!

When he reached the coast he spotted another cluster of buildings. It appeared to be a fishing village, built out of wooden planks and stones, but not that much more impressive than the tiny huts.

Was it possible that this was a holiday resort as well? For sea-bathing rather than fishing? Or maybe the fishermen only came here during the day and the huts merely served as shelters for the boats or during bad weather and not to live in?

Maybe he'd find a proper settlement if he followed the coast for a while, but he had no time to dawdle. He was supposed to meet Razzle and Lutatz at Uthene house and would probably have to explain Jatt's misdeed to them. It didn't seem like a good idea to annoy them further by being late.

The ocean looked no different from any other ocean Jesse had ever seen. It was blue and wide and boring. He sped up until he reached the Uthene's continent.

The first thing he saw of that was a very nice beach, but then there was only more red jungle only interrupted by occasional places where the trees stood a little further apart and at more regular intervals. Those probably were the orchards, then.

Close to them he found clusters of buildings, like the fishing village made of stone and wood. They were larger than the ones he'd seen on Gouraland, but no more impressive.

A glance at the map told him that his route would not take him over the capital. A pity, but he'd probably see it soon enough. They had dropped troops there, though they were Razzle's and not his own. Surely there'd be some reason to check the place sooner or later.

What he did get to see was a lot of jungle. At first glance it looked no different from that on Gouraland, but after flying over it for a little while Jesse realised that its boringness wasn't merely due to him already having seen all the red jungle he cared to today. This jungle really was even more monotonous than that on Gouraland. There rivers and mountains had given him changes of vegetation and height to look at. Here the land seemed to be entirely flat with roads and a single river constituting the only landmarks.

He couldn't even follow any of them to the Uthene complex as he was coming from the wrong direction.

Nevertheless there was one change visible in the trees as he approached his destination. Closer to the inhabited area the trees grew even more monotonous, planted orchards replacing the wild jungle almost entirely, though some small bits still looked wild.

Despite Razzle's descriptions the complex itself still surprised Jesse when he first caught sight of it. Unlike the white rock of Varen and the black metallic structures of the Warworld these houses were painted - in brown and red tones mostly, but not uniformly. There were somewhere between ten and twenty separate buildings all with steep roofs to allow the rain to run off.

Though the roofs' shape and the climate seemed to invite their use there were no solar panels on them, but then Jesse had never noticed any on the Warworld either and he knew for a fact that Nemesis liked to park it in orbit around a sun to recharge its engines. So most likely Outrider solar energy collectors simply looked nothing like what Jesse expected.

Maybe he ought to ask Razzle sometime. If anyone of his companions knew it would be Razzle.

Then again Jesse hated to look stupid in front of his fellow Commanders and thought he probably could get by without that knowledge ... unless and until they decided to attack the rebels by taking out their energy supply and then would be soon enough to ask Razzle what to shoot at. In fact, he could probably phrase it in a way that would sound like he was merely inquiring what the system's most vulnerable spots were.

The main buildings were clustered around a rather large garden, while the rest flanked an area of vegetation-free earth in front of the largest building, a fine landing site as far as Jesse was concerned, though he suspected that some of his less skilled pilots would find it difficult.

Razzle's plan identified the flanking buildings as storages, sheds and garages as well as the living quarters of the lowest servants. There had to be quite a lot of those judging from the size of the two buildings Razzle had identified as servants' quarters. But then someone had to tend all those orchards and Razzle hadn't mentioned any place for farmhands, so perhaps those too fell into the category of servants.

Razzle's tank was standing in the dead centre of the earth-courtyard which gave it sufficient room to move in whatever direction Razzle wanted to, but would probably cause Ramszet to sweat when he arrived. The tank might be tough, but it wasn't likely that it not having taken any damage would stop Razzle from flaying any pilot that happened to land on or collide with it verbally.

Lutatz's medical shuttle was parked on the side in the shade of the garage. That building wasn't high enough to afford much of that commodity, though and Jesse, like Razzle, preferred free manoeuvring room in case he had to take off in a hurry so he landed in the open, far enough from Razzle's tank that it could get around his ship, if necessary.

Some curious and frightened faces appeared peeking out behind walls and trees as he hopped out and he kept his hand on his blaster and his helmet on as he crossed the hard-packed, dry earth.

They looked like children, though and from their clothing he judged rather poor ones, most likely not members of the clan, but the offspring of a local farming clan.

The most threatening thing they seemed to be armed with was a long rod with a net and hook at one end, probably a harvesting tool for high-growing fruits.

Since neither Razzle nor Lutatz was anywhere to be seen Jesse decided to search for them in the main building. That at least had a guard posted at the door. He wasn't one of Jesse's own, nor did Jesse recognise him, but he saluted quite respectfully and looked bored so Jesse stopped to question him on the situation.

-You're one of Razzlesz crew?- Jesse guessed.

-Yes, Commander! Third gunner!-

-How exciting.- Jesse stated dryly.

The soldier shrugged.

-There's a lot more boring duty.- He pointed out. -Though, today was rather ... anti-climatic.-

Anti-climatic? This guy had to have been exposed to Razzle a lot more than one would expect of a third gunner. He'd even taken on some of his Commander's vocabulary. Jesse doubted that Ramszet or Kerost even knew the word existed, much less was able to use it in context.

-No trouble from the locals then?-

-Not in the least, Commander. We dropped in, got shaken around a bit by the landing and by the time we'd straightened ourselves out and aimed the guns ... well, there was hardly anything left to aim at except the buildings and some terrified kids carrying fruit baskets. Commander Ettar cleared out with all his staff and all that was left to do was to track down the civilians and send the servants back to work.-

-And after that?- Jesse asked.

Another shrug.

-I don't know. Commander Razzle ordered me to guard the door and let only our people pass without permission. Then he went in himself and I haven't heard anything since then. It's been awfully boring, I can tell you.-

-I bet.- Jesse agreed. -Keep it up anyway.-

So Razzle was inside, but no mention of Lutatz?

Oh well, for now finding Razzle would do, and the fewer people got to hear what Razzle thought of Jatt's actions today the better it would probably be for Jesse.

He entered and was greeted by a high pitched shriek and the sight of flying heels - naked and small heels. Had the children been trying to sneak out or just sneak around?

Either way they were children and unarmed. It probably wouldn't do to fire after them. Jesse returned his blaster to its holster.

-I ... is that ... real?-

The voice came from around the corner of the right hand corridor.

Jesse took a step forward so he could see the speaker properly. She looked about fifteen and pregnant, which among Outriders was a very unlikely combination, so he decided to revise her age upwards by half a decade. She probably was short and scared which made her look younger than she really was.

-They screamed.- He offered by way of apology. -On a battlefield that usually means danger.-

-They're just playing.- She said. -Don't your clan's children shriek when they're playing?-

He thought back and tried to remember.

-I haven't seen them in a very long time and never when I was coming straight from the battlefield.-

Then he took off his helmet after all. The house was under guard and he'd feel less like he was on a battlefield this way.

She blinked in surprise and took a step closer.

-You look too young to be a soldier.- She stated.

-And you look too young to become a mother.- Jesse returned. -Looks can be deceiving.-

-I'm looking for Razzle.- He added when she didn't reply. -Do you know where he is?-

-Small meeting room.- She pointed down the other corridor. -With Afrar Sesta.-

-Oh, has he netted himself an Afrar already? Anti-climatic indeed.-

He was a little surprised that the third gunner hadn't mentioned that little detail, but then maybe he hadn't been aware of it.

It was just what he needed when his own venture had failed so pathetically, though. On the other hand it should put Razzle in a good mood. If they had Sesta, they practically had Gattler back, didn't they? All they had to do was to threaten Sesta into ordering Gattler to fight for them to protect his clan from retribution.

It remained to be seen whether Nemesis would be willing to forgive Uthen's treachery that easily, of course, but until then Razzle would have his companion back and ... well, the worst that could happen to him was a stint in a vapour chamber, right? Gattler had survived that pretty well at least once before.

-You are a fool, Sesta.- Was the first thing Jesse heard when he entered the small meeting room. -Not that that is news to anyone, but your foolishness quite exceeds even my expectations.-

-You dare!- Sesta yelped.

-It takes very little daring, trust me.- Jesse informed him. -You might want to remember that you and all your clan are at our mercy at the moment and I doubt Nemesis will be all too concerned over the exact details of the deaths of a few rebels that wanted to kill all of his clan more or less.-

-You don't have our soldiers.- Sesta countered readily enough. -Only I can give them to you.-

-You can't.- Razzle stated calmly. -And you are a fool to contemplate trying.-

-They are of my clan and have to obey my orders!-

-And how, pray, do you intend to get those orders to them without Ettar finding out and taking measures to prevent their leaving him?- Razzle purred. -One thing I can tell you about Ettar is that his preferred method of prevention will be killing them. He never was one to leave a defeated enemy alive to possibly return for another fight.-

Was Razzle trying to scare Sesta or did he really mean it? He certainly sounded dead serious and the argument did make sense.

-Too charming.- Jesse commented out loud. -And this guy was your friend, eh?-

Razzle shrugged.

-It depends on what you call a friend. We rubbed along tolerably well and I believe he would have called it friendship. What I call friendship, though, is something I tried to coax him into in vain. I don't believe he has it in him.-

-Is that ... possible?- Outriders seemed so much more socially inclined than Fleshlings and even among those true loners were rare.

Razzle smirked at him rather too triumphantly.

-You tell me, Puppy. But keep in mind that Istar, too, is possible, unnatural as it may seem.-

-So what is the situation in Gouraland?- Razzle asked once he had turned Sesta into a nervous wreck and dismissed him.

Jesse sighed. Here it came.

-We have successfully occupied Goura house.-

-Do I hear a but?-

Yes, you do, you old b ... rat.

-I fear Jatt didn't quite get the bit about penning in and driving into the sea.-

-Oh indeed?- Razzle purred.

Wipe that smirk off your face, damnit!

-He seems to think wildlife preservation is more important.-

-Meaning?-

-He ordered his troops to stop firing to let a wild Cat of War pass. The cat didn't make it, but the rebels did.-

Razzle roared with laughter. -That's what you get for hiring a green kid.-

-Quite frankly I didn't expect Istarsz son to have such priority problems. Anyway, we have the house, they are somewhere in the forests. The main problem is that right now I have no idea where.-

-We probably have some in the forests as well.- Razzle declared quite calmly to Jesse's surprise. -The bulk headed for Gouraland, though. They'll gather their forces somewhere over there and we'll keep our headquarters over here. If they want to make use of the planet's food resources they have to regain control of enough of its infrastructure. The trees are useless to them without a space port and transport vessels.-

Well, Razzle was taking it better than Jesse had expected.

-Where's Lutaz?- He ventured to ask.

-He should be picking up and assessing the dead and wounded. Have you ever been handed a list of the fallen before, Puppy? It is ... quite the experience. Certainly something no officer should miss out on.-

Well, considering his experiences with the battle of Yuma ...

-I think I actually prefer the list to not knowing.-

-It is useful knowledge, I'll grant you that.-

As it turned out Lutatz was in his shuttle and not quite living up to Razzle's predictions, though the list of the fallen was coming along nicely according to his Subcommanders.

-This certainly is the most unusual patient I've ever had.- Lutaz said picking up the limp front paw of the unconscious Cat of War and squeezing it until one of the long, sharp claws came out of its sheath.

-You've got to admit that he's beautiful, though.-Jesse prompted. -And I think I heard somewhere that he's a rare species. That's why I thought he might be worth treating.-

-She.- Lutaz said drily. -She's a pregnant female and that's the only reason I haven't cut her throat yet. She'll never walk again, but I can keep her alive to have and nurse those kittens. The gods know what we'll do with them, though. Outrider-raised animals aren't afraid of people, and a hungry Cat of War that isn't scared of you is one dangerous critter.-

-They're Jessesz kittens I'd say.- Razzle commented. -You just fix the Mum and leave the rest to him.-

-Like I need a bunch of people-eating pets.- Jesse growled scratching the cat's ears absent-mindedly. They were soft and glossy despite her condition. -Just what I've always wanted.-

-Definitely what your other dangerous friends back on Rukkat always wanted.- Razzle said with a shrug. -Who knows, maybe Afrar Irozz might even find a few spare coins to offer you for them.-

-Yeah right.- Jesse laughed.-Like the move to Rukkat isn't already stretching his financial reserves to their limits.-

But the Elhessare certainly were the best solution for the kittens, if they really did survive and Jesse himself wasn't short on money. He could afford to be generous. Besides, he owed the Elhessare a debt that all the money in the world couldn't pay. Though ...

-Would it be somehow odd to make one's companion a gift?-

-No.- Razzle said. -But from personal experience I recommend not to overdo it.-

Jesse looked questioningly at Lutaz, but he didn't seem to have understood the remark either.

-Meaning?- He asked Razzle sharply.

-That such uneven pairings across the line as we both made are tricky. It is highly uncomfortable on the receiving end if you know that you cannot reciprocate.-

Jesse regarded the cat on the slab. -Well, surely Jean Claude wouldn't want me to kill a whole family of rare animals just so he won't be uncomfortable. Jatt certainly wouldn't forgive me.-

-Jatt.- Razzle sneered. -Ought not to be asking any favours right now.-

-He's just a boy.- Jesse pointed out.

-No he isn't.- Lutaz re-entered the conversation with unexpected vehemence. -He may not have finished his education, but that's only officers' training. He is fully qualified as a soldier. What he isn't qualified to do is command others. That far it is your mistake.-

-I'm beginning to agree. I can't judge an Outrider's maturity, I suppose. I'm still too used to Fleshling standards. Still, he was the best I could have gotten under the circumstances. I'm not overly eager to have a Subcommander that's already been fired for cowardice twice or one with a history of insubordination.-

-Should have acted more quickly, then.- Razzle commented.

-Yes, sure, next time I'm stuck in med bay and delirious I'll ask Moku to get me a computer terminal so I can hire some new staff. I bet everybody will be delighted with that idea.-

-I doubt Moku would care.- Lutaz judged. -Nemesis might object, though.-

-Here's an original thought for you.- Razzle said on his way out of the medical station. -Next time promote the best you already have and use the doubtful cases in the bottom ranks until you're sure what they are capable of.-

-You really expect us to believe that Gattler chose to stay at Goura-house when he could have been here with you?- Jesse sneered at the woman that had been introduced as Gattler's wife.

-My impression was that he did not like to share a dorm with Ettar.- She said. -And Commander Mohawk was kind enough to offer him an alternative.-

-It's not that we don't believe you, Saide.- Razzle told her uncharacteristically gently. -But we've never known him to be particularly close with Mohawk while he always used to get on well with Ettar.-

-Not to mention that you are here.- Jesse added more sharply. -And it seems quite strange for a husband to leave his wife in the company of someone he considers unpleasant when she is expecting.-

Saide folded her hands over her swollen belly protectively.

-It's not like he could have stopped ...- She trailed off, then restarted. -Why surely you don't think he had any reason to expect Commander Ettar to do me or my child any harm! Why that would be ...-

-Of course not.- Razzle said in a strange, leading tone. -Whatever gave you the idea that we might be thinking that?-

Saide blushed. -Why I ... I ... Well, what reason would you assume Gattler had to stay with me? It seems to imply that I was in danger.-

Jesse shot Razzle a quizzical look. What sort of a marriage was this?

-I would have expected a husband to take pleasure in his wife's company.- He said. -And to want to be here to see his child right after it's born.-

Saide sighed. -You've never watched your child die, have you?- She asked softly.

Eh, what? Another help seeking look to Razzle.

-Saide means to imply that Gattler may have wanted to avoid getting attached to a child that isn't likely to live.- Razzle supplied.

-Oh, is there something wrong with the baby then? Maybe Lutaz or one of his medical staff ...-

-House Uthen could afford better aid than Lutazsz, if there were anything a doctor could do.- A girl of maybe eleven years that had been standing behind Saide silently until now snapped.

She appeared to be the oldest female around that wasn't pregnant.

-Gattler and Saide have had several children that didn't reach their first birthdays.- Razzle supplied. -It is ... likely that this one will be born as sickly as its siblings and you may have noticed that this is not a healthy world to live on. Infant mortality is very high, especially on this continent.-

-Then why raise children here?- Jesse asked but received no answer.

-I find it most interesting that Gattler is avoiding Ettar.- Razzle said when they were alone that evening. - It seems that they've had some sort of disagreement.-

-I thought that you believed that he was just trying to avoid getting attached to the child?- Jesse prodded glad that the topic gave him something other than alcohol to think of. He'd have to share a dorm, not only with his own, but also Razzle's and Lutaz's Subcommanders tonight. Drowning his nightmares again looked like a very appealing prospect right now.

-He really doesn't pay much attention to his wife's pregnancies anymore, but he does love her and his home. There must be something seriously wrong to drive him away like this. And that's good news for us. Clearly all is not well in the rebel camp.-

-Could it be just between Ettar and Gattler, though?- Jesse suggested. -Or between their clans. My impression was that Uthen did not consider a revolution to be in its interest, Ettar may have made this his headquarters because he was unsure of them and wanted to force their continued support.-

Jesse looked from Razzle to Lutaz, but the later only shrugged. He was excellent at military strategy, but current clan politics were a different matter.

-True.- Razzle said. -Few houses were profiting as much from the status quo as Uthen ... but Goura is one of those few. Without the rebellion they could have continued to control food prices until Rukkat's agriculture is able to support its population. That will take a good many years as young fruit trees produce significantly less than older ones. Neither house could have done it without the other, though and if Ettar were worried about both houses he'd have done better to establish himself at Goura house, even at the risk of driving Mohawk out. Only a complete fool would use Mohawk to negotiate a conspiracy.-

-You see a chance that we could draw the local noble houses back to our side, then?- Jesse asked surprised. That had never come up in their planning sessions and after the way Razzle had reacted to Sesta's offer to order his soldiers to change sides he had thought that that option was out of the question.

-Maybe if they thought we were winning.- Razzle said with a shrug that was just a touch too casual. -They wouldn't profit from joining our side now. Either way the war will weaken their economic position and their planet will be a battleground.-

-Funny how much everybody wants such an unhealthy place.- Jesse commented. -It really is beautiful, though.-

-It is.- Razzle confirmed. -But you may have noticed how thinly populated it actually is. Everybody that could moved away long ago. Everybody that remains is dependent on this world and its orchards in one way or another.-

The realisation that Razzle and Lutatz intended to share a dorm with the Subcommanders had come as a shock to Jesse and led him to consider whether he could sleep in the Badlander. There wasn't much room there and the pilot's chair certainly wasn't intended as a bed, but just how far back could it be tilted?

-Three just isn't a proper dorm, Puppy.- Razzle pointed out. -And you know it.-

-I do.- Jesse admitted. -But I also know my nightmares are going to wake everybody up.-

He didn't mind all that much if Azpet found out about the nightmares and Ramszet would probably be more concerned than angry as well. Jatt on the other hand ... He was an Elhessar Cat-of-War and had already shown how unimpressed he was by Jesse once today. Jesse didn't think he could afford to sink much lower in that one's esteem.

And then there were Razzle's and Lutatz's Subcommanders who were practically strangers to Jesse. He didn't want his nightmares to be their first impression of him.

-Maybe there's some small side-room where nobody will hear me scream?- He suggested without much hope.

-Don't be riddiculous.- Razzle snorted. -They're Subcommanders. What are they going to do to you if it does bother them?-

-Refuse to continue to share the dorm with me, I'd expect.- Jesse replied.

-I'd like to see them try.- Razzle returned with an evil smirk that no longer impressed Jesse, but would probably make Azpet crawl under his striker for the rest of the night and work well enough to cow Ramszet. As for Jatt, though, ... How did the Elhessare actually perceive Razzle? -But they won't. Your age doesn't matter in such a situation. That only comes into play between dorm-mates of equal rank. You clearly outrank all our new additions.-

Maybe so, but even if they didn't protest it would still be embarrassing and they would lose respect for him.

Hadn't somebody once said that he wouldn't have nightmares if he didn't want to? Well, he could only hope that it was true because he really, really didn't want to have a nightmare tonight.

At least the Subcommanders all looked rather meek and shy when they found out about the arrangement ... with two exceptions. It seemed that nothing impressed Jatt much and Kieste appeared to consider it a matter of course. In fact, all of Razzle's Subcommanders showed less surprise than Ramszet and Lutatz's bunch.

It took Jesse a little while before he realised that of course Razzle's staff were used to sharing their Commander's dorm on campaign and thus weren't faced with the prospect of an unfamiliar and intimidating dorm elder.

-Do I have to?- Azpet asked Jesse the moment he saw a chance to talk to him without being overheard. -I'm a common soldier. I'm sure I can find a common dorm that will be much more appropriate.-

-Yes, you do.- Jesse declared not feeling at all in the mood to be generous. -If I have to so do you.-

He wanted Azpet around for support. The secretary didn't seem to have lost any respect despite Razzle having asked him to supervise Jesse's drinks, so he would probably stand by him despite the nightmares as well.

-You don't have to sleep next to Razzle.- He promised. -I'll stay between you and protect you.-

That was more easily said than done, but Azpet had little trouble claiming the last bed in the furthest, darkest corner of the room. Nobody else wanted it.

It couldn't be avoided that he had to pass Razzle on the way in and out of the dorm sometimes, though, but Razzle seemed to have more important things on his mind than making sport of him and most of the evening passed in discussion of the military situation, the possible location of Ettar's troops being the primary topic of conversation.

-They could be anywhere by now, of course.- Razzle admitted. -The whole planet is covered in dense forest they can hide in and Mohawk at least is no strategist by anyone's standards. Unless Ettar gave him a location he will have concentrated his troops in the first spot that he thought of that was far enough away from Jessesz.-

-What of Gattler, though.- Lutatz asked. -I'd expect him to go to ground in a reasonable spot that he knows well, but you say the rebels all headed for Gouraland? Doesn't that speak for a prearranged plan?-

-Oh, that's the really interesting bit.- Jesse informed him. -According to Saide and Afrar Sesta Gattler himself wasn't even here to start with. He was visiting Mohawk. I'd say it makes sense that his troops flew over there to join him then. But what the hell was he doing there in the first place?-

-Avoiding Ettar is the general consensus among our hosts.- Razzle said causing the Subcommanders to snigger appreciatively. -But it does decrease the likelihood of Mohawk having chosen a random spot somewhat. Gattler certainly is no grand master, but he does have a solid grasp of the most important basics of strategy. If he was at least in radio contact with Mohawk when Mohawk decided to concentrate he will have recommended a site that makes some sense in context of what he and Ettar were doing ... always assuming that Gattler knew what Ettar was up to at the time.-

-It must have been over an hour after Ettar high-tailed it out of here.- Kieste commented. -That should have been ample time to coordinate the rest of his units.-

-There is nothing to indicate that he was involved in any actual fighting at least.- Razzle agreed. -And he'd hardly be fool or coward enough to just sit out the battle in silence and wait for the result. If Gattler was with Mohawk in person, though, he would have been out of radio range unless the Ice Bird has had a technology upgrade I haven't heard about.-

-That could explain the dash for Gouraland.- Lutatz remarked. -He wanted to maintain radio contact with the actually engaged troops there and since he no longer had a large station he had to reduce the distance. So he decided to abandon this continent to us for the time being and concentrate his troops over there.-

-Unwise.- Jesse commented. -With two Commanders there, both experienced, though I'm not so sure about Mohawk's competence at independent command, he should have taken over direction of the troops here and left Gouraland in their hands. Even if Mohawk isn't up to it, Gattler certainly has proven that he can think for himself.-

-There you have Ettarsz problem.- Razzle smirked. -He doesn't trust the abilities of the others. Gattler could handle Gouraland for him, but Ettar doesn't believe that he can. It's true that Ettar is the better strategist, though, so it makes it more likely that their positions on Gouraland are good ... or will be once he sorts things out. The question we are facing now is whether we are content with the situation as it is or want them off the planet entirely.-

-Why should we be content?- Jesse asked rather surprised. They'd intended to take the planet, not just this continent last he'd heard.

-We are here to ensure a source of food.- Razzle pointed out. -And we are now in control of the Uthenesz orchards as well as their further infrastructure, including the space port. We can harvest, pack and transport all the food grown on this continent. That should be sufficient to supply the two worlds we actually have under our control now. Do we need Gouraland or should we merely strengthen our position and make sure we retain what we have already achieved?-

-Gouraland is a base from which they can attack us ... or the food transports we send from here, which is probably the wiser move.- Jesse analysed. -We don't want them to get entrenched there and give us constant trouble. I say the sooner we kick them off the planet the better. They'll be a lot less trouble if they have to come at us from space.-

-Then we need to strengthen the force at Goura house.- Lutatz said. -They'll try to take that back so it will need a strong defence, which we will miss here.-

-We can send another tank over.- Kieste said. -We have those to spare and the house is a non-moving target.-

-So you are in favour of taking the whole planet?- Razzle demanded sharply. -And if so why?-

-I ... No, I am merely looking at both options. And stating that enforcing Goura house doesn't have to weaken our position here.-

-Fool.- Razzle snapped. -Nemesis will of course expect us to take the whole planet and if we wait for him to order us to do it we give Ettar time to strengthen his position over there. We need to act as quickly as possible.-

Then why open the topic up for discussion in the first place? Sometimes Razzle was really strange.

-I didn't say that we shouldn't.- Kieste pointed out with a shrug.

-Not good enough.- Razzle stated. -Now go and send off that tank. And make sure you pick the right one.-

Kieste made a face, but got up and left the room without a verbal protest and Jesse wondered silently by what criteria one picked tanks.

-What, now?- He heard someone mutter, but he couldn't tell who. It definitely wasn't Ramszet or Azpet and he hoped not Jatt either.


	10. Chapter 9: Children in War

Disclaimer 1: This is fanfic. That means I do not own any of it. I just borrow it to play with for a little while and let people see the pathetic results if they really want to.

Disclaimer 2: I'm not making any money from it. It's just for fun.

Disclaimer 3: What isn't borrowed is all made up. None of this is real or most likely at all realistic. Please don't trust any of the information in here. Most likely you know more about whatever I'm writing about than I do.

Disclaimer 4: Attitudes, views and opinions expressed by the characters or in the story are not necessarily those of the author. Even when writing Science Fiction or Fantasy I do not tend to attempt to create perfect/better worlds in which everybody gets a happy end ... or whatever is best for them. Please accept that some characters will have a bad ending or be unhappy.

Disclaimer 5: I intend no insult to anyone. If I offend anyone I'm very sorry. Please understand that it was an accident as I tend to be very clumsy in these things.

A/N: Lutatz still doesn't quite understand Jesse ... or Razzle for that matter.

Chapter 9: Children in War

He was running through dense red jungle ... running from ... no, no looking for! He was looking for something he'd lost. Jatt?

Jesse stopped and called out his name, but there was no answer and when he decided to continue there was nowhere to go. The trees had closed up in front of him ... or all around him. They were dancing around him, turning, spinning, burning.

Then something exploded out of the fire. The cat! The cat he had been looking for!

"Here Pussy!" Jesse called, but the cat snarled when he reached out for her and backed back into the ring of flames.

She flared up and then her kittens raced into the clearing on fire and screaming. Jesse reached for them to douse the flames, but his hands only spread the fire and it was burning him as well now. He screamed.

-Who?-

-What's going on?-

Oh, damn it!

-Nothing.- Jesse told the darkness. -Nothing at all. Just another one of my stupid nightmares. Go back to sleep.-

-What did you dream?- Lutatz demanded predictably.

Damn him, too. No, Jesse was not going to tell the damned Subcommanders his nightmares. His dorm-mates were bad enough. This indignity went too far.

-You wouldn't believe me if I told you and I won't.- He snarled and pulled the pillow over his face to protect his eyes if Lutatz turned on the light again.

There was some rustling from Lutatz's direction, but then Razzle's voice interceded.

-Leave it alone, Professor.- He said rather sharply. -It's the middle of the night and we all want to sleep.-

-Jesse, I can't diagnose the cause of your nightmares if you don't tell me what they are about.- Lutatz insisted anyway.

-Well then leave the diagnosing to gods-damn Iktrz!- Jesse yelled startling even himself. -It's his job that Nemesis ordered him to do. Your fucking job is to keep our soldiers from getting sick so start gods-damn doing that and leave me alone!-

-Silence!- Razzle roared. -You will both shut up and go back to sleep now. We can discuss dreams in the morning.-

In private, Jesse hoped, but in fact he didn't hear another word about the matter either in the showers or on the way to breakfast.

Breakfast at Uthene house turned out to be ... well, they certainly served the best food Jesse had had in a long time, but the deadly silence among the 'hosts', even the children, was almost spooky. Children at mealtime should be chattering and laughing and trading favourite foods, not sitting there in deadly silence like ... like Jesse remembered from the orphanage on inspection day.

That was it. Jesse didn't like being reminded of the orphanage.

He ate quickly and then went to check on his troops. He had to make sure they all were where they ought to be. Of course nobody had called in to inform him that they couldn't find their assigned post, but considering Ramszet Jesse didn't think he could put it past a hypothetical Outrider pilot to be too stupid to notice that he was in the wrong place or for that matter too stupid to turn on his radio and ask for directions. Not to mention that some of the new guys might get too frightened and confused to want to admit that they were lost.

Better to count heads and cockpits than to discover too late that some vital post had been neglected. Besides he could get some reports and first impressions in person.

The Badlander was of course right where Jesse had left it, though some yellowish dust had gathered on it. It turned out to be easy enough to wipe off without a trace. Probably pollen from the local vegetation, Jesse decided, brushed it off his hands and got in.

The ship started without a problem confirming the harmlessness of the substance and soon Jesse was once again flying over an endless sea of red trees.

His troops thankfully were all exactly where they ought to be, though Nisse looked just a little too innocent when Jesse inquired after a particularly foolish looking individual.

Jesse took that as a hint to keep an eye on the guy in future and not send him on any solo missions if it could be avoided. Who knew what efforts it had taken Nisse to get him in place.

Most of the outposts reported strange sounds in the night, but they all resembled animal noises more closely than anything an Outrider-made machine might produce.

Jesse considered the possibility that the local soldiers might be sneaking about on foot in the dark and communicating by a code of animal calls, but decided that considering the terrain they'd need to be very familiar with the location not to get lost or trip over something. They hadn't had the time to get that organised yet. Neither Mohawk nor Gattler seemed likely to come up with such an unconventional idea and Ettar was a stranger to this world and wouldn't know whether the people were capable of it.

They might start doing it once they got their bearings and figured out where the outposts were, though. Something to keep in mind.

Jesse returned in much better spirits, put Jatt in charge of revising the duty schedules and inquiring after the recovery time expected for each of their wounded and set out to explore the compound more thoroughly.

He almost collided with Razzle on his way out of what they'd appropriated as their command centre.

-And just where have you been?- The old rat demanded.

What?

-Inspecting my troops' dispositions. Why?-

-In person?- Razzle sounded sceptical.

-Of course. I've got a lot of leftover trash there and I don't know half of them at all yet. Until I see proof that they can read position coordinates I'll assume that at least some of them can't.-

-Wonderful.- Razzle sneered. -Just how many have you misplaced?-

-None.- Jesse snapped. -I have some injured, but the rest are all where they ought to be and facing in the right direction. I just wanted to make sure.-

Razzle narrowed his eye at him.

-Are you judging them all by Ramszetsz performance?-

Jesse shrugged.

-I do hope they don't come any more stupid than that, but even what is between his level and Kerostsz ...- He admitted. -Well, I won't trust them until I've seen what they are capable of.-

-Well, be here after lunch then. I want us to go over the recent enemy sightings together.-

-Enemy sightings? Have you had any? All my troops reported are animal sounds.-

-Do you trust them to identify those?- Razzle asked pointedly.

-I asked them in person.- Jesse returned with a smirk. -It was a great show to watch them imitate the sounds. None of it sounded like a sound an Outrider in his right mind would produce.-

That earned him a burst of Razzle's annoying laughter and no further questions so he went back to his original plan of exploring Uthene house.

The place was quite a bit larger than such a small clan needed, which was only practical now since surely it had been less inconvenient to hand over unused rooms for the army's use than it would have been to free whatever rooms Razzle chose to demand. Quite a number of them had already been in use by Ettar's army so there hadn't even been much cleaning to do.

Jesse found neither ramps nor stairs. Was it possible that the place didn't even have a basement?

The front-side outbuildings all turned out to be used only by servants, either as living space or to store produce and work equipment. Jesse made an attempt to talk with a group that watched his inspection from a distance, but they scattered like frightened chickens and returned to what appeared to be urgent duties out in the orchards when he approached. Oh well ...

Jesse shrugged it off and went to have a look at the other end of the compound. Back there was a large and pleasant garden that might have reminded him of Varen if the vegetation hadn't been so very different. The first building he entered turned out to hold everything one might want for a garden party with an entire room being reserved for children's outside toys. The only thing missing were the children to use them, but perhaps they were all with their tutors now.

The next building was of more practical use to Jesse: A sword-fighting hall!

It was larger and more decorated than the one on Varen, but lacked the targets for knife-throwing and shooting practise which was disappointing. He supposed that the place would do for all kinds of hand-to-hand practise and decided to show it to Razzle and Lutatz as soon as possible. Three was an unfortunate number for fighting practise, though. Should he bring ... No, not Ramszet or Azpet and most certainly not Jatt either.

Dared he ask Kieste? He had never seen Razzle's second in command fight, but surely Razzle wouldn't choose anyone ill-trained.

Or would he, if some other skill took precedence?

A movement behind him caused Jesse to whirl around, blaster in hand, but it was only the girl. She was naked except for a sort of skirt only just long enough to preserve modesty and the two swords strapped crosswise to her back. She had no need to cover her chest, yet, Jesse noted absent-mindedly, which made the presence of the skirt a moot point as well. Children certainly did not tempt him.

She lifted her head in proud challenge.

-Do you sword-fight?-

-No.- Jesse returned easily. -Only very casually, that is and that'd be no use to you.-

She sneered.

-They don't at all where I grew up, you know. At least not in a style that even remotely resembles yours. I learned the basic use of a Fleshling sabre as a child and perhaps I could still wield it well enough for a casual match with a beginner, but it didn't appeal to me.- He shrugged. -I got a few lessons in proper sword-fighting from a friend more recently, but of course it was too late to acquire any real skill at it. So if you're looking for actual entertainment ... Do you shoot?- He indicated his blaster.

-No.- She returned eyes flashing with annoyance. -I'm not intended for the army.-

-Ah, so you're going to be a scientist then?- Jesse asked easily. He didn't want to pick a fight with a little girl. -A doctor perhaps? Your world looks like it can use a lot of those.-

-Accountant.- She corrected shaking her head for emphasis. -There's a lot of bookkeeping done here as well. Have you seen all the orchards we have here?-

Jesse nodded. Indeed he had. They were hard to overlook even when flying over the land. Many of them had ripe fruits, too which had almost tempted him to stop a few times. How long had it been since he'd had fresh fruits straight from the tree? But of course those had been his own clan's trees and he'd been sure of his right to take what he wanted.

-They're ours. All of them. Every last orchard on this continent. That means a lot of counting trees and fruits, shipping lists, price calculations, wages ...-

-Bills of lading.- Jesse said. -I know. I've seen quite a bit more of those than I ever wanted to, thank you. They're dead boring in the long run.- Though fruits were probably a little more appealing than ore. -Are you sure you don't want to be something more interesting?-

This time she was the one who shrugged.

-An accountant is what the clan needs. And strong babies. I'm strong. I survived. So I'd better stay here and have babies just like me, not go away to study. That's for the men. What'd be the use of going through warrior training if I'm never going to be available to fight because I'm always pregnant?-

-You could be a scientist, a doctor.- Jesse suggested. -That's interesting and useful and as long as you don't do dangerous experiments you can still do it while you're pregnant. Or you could choose not to get pregnant after all.-

-And let my clan die out? Never! I'm proud of being Uthen and I'd do anything for my clan. Wouldn't you ... Hey, what clan are you anyway?-

-Artez.- Jesse replied wondering how much that would tell her.

-Artez?- She repeated clearly surprised. -But ... but then you're one of us. Artez is of Varen. You should be on our side! Have you no honour to betray your clan like this?-

-And has Gattler no honour to betray His Nastiness like that?- Jesse returned.

-He didn't want to.- She admitted. -It was Afrarsz decision, of course, though, not his. How can you have honour if you don't obey your Afrar?-

An interesting question. Jesse had never thought much about honour before. Then again one thing was very obvious here.

-Honour is a very complicated thing. Perhaps I have a duty to my Afrar here, yes. But as a soldier I have a duty to my commanding officer, which in my case and in the final consequence in every soldier's case, is His Nastiness. I have a duty to the army itself and ... to some people that I owe a big debt. I ... made a terrible mistake a while ago and did the old blood clans a lot of damage. I've got to pay that back somehow. And then I have a duty to my race as a whole. I don't think this rebellion is going to do it much good. It's an unnecessary war that will kill a lot of Outriders for no good reason. I think my duty is to stand against that. ... But you said honour, didn't you? I guess if you really want to discuss honour, you'd probably do better asking Razzle.-

-But he isn't disobeying his Afrar.- She protested.

-No, but he is the honour expert. Or at least that's what Jean Claude once told me. I've done a lot of things in my life that weren't honourable without even realising it at the time, so I think I'm the last guy you should ask.-

She pondered that for a while, standing there scratching lines on the dusty ground with her toes.

-But you do think what you're doing now is honourable?-

-Yes.- It was strange how easily that answer came to him.

-Why?-

-Because I believe that I owe His Nastiness loyalty and it would be dishonourable to betray him. Because I owe the old blood a blood-debt and it would be dishonourable not to pay it and because I believe that they are the ones in the right here. You have betrayed them. I am supporting the right side.-

She regarded him for a while longer then shrugged. -Well, I have to do my training anyway.-

Jesse stayed for a while to watch. To him her performance looked every bit as good as Gattler's, but he did notice that unlike Gattler she was not using sharp blades.

Lutatz seemed to be in a bad mood at lunch ... or maybe he was just preoccupied with a military problem he didn't want to share with his fellow Commanders. Jesse could only hope that it wasn't anything vital that would come to haunt them later.

His silence didn't help the atmosphere in the room one bit. The Uthene were still unnaturally quiet as well only occasionally shooting dark glances at the occupying forces. Jesse wasn't sure whether he could blame them.

At least the children seemed a touch more lively than they had been at breakfast, though most of their conversation seemed to be carried on by the girl he'd watched sword-fight earlier and a pale little boy who sat next to her. He was a pathetic little creature, Jesse thought, much too thin, with hollow cheeks and dark circles around his eyes. Had nightmares of war and soldiers and possibly parents being killed kept him awake through most of the night?

-You have to admit it is an excellent house.- Razzle commented. -And excellent people. I like it here.-

-We're not exactly welcome to these excellent people.- Jesse pointed out. -And they are too quiet. I've never been to a clan-hold with such quiet children before.-

-And just how many clan-holds have you been to?- Lutatz demanded.

Well, he had a point there.

-Four if you count this one.- He admitted.

-Which isn't actually such a bad score.- Razzle commented to his surprise. -It's true that there is less children-noise here than is usual, but there also are fewer children. They tend to disappear in such a large complex.-

-They are all sickly, too.- Lutatz almost growled. -It's a damned plague-house if you ask me.-

-The kids don't have anything we can catch.- Razzle stated firmly.

-Oh, you're the medical expert now?-

Yes, Lutatz definitely was acting weird.

-I know because Gattler told me.-

-Have you seen him then?- Jesse asked.

That would certainly be useful. As far as he knew they still had no proof which continent Gattler was actually on. There had been no confirmed sightings of him during the fighting and nothing at all since.

-Not in over a month.- Razzle said jabbing his fork into a szensza fruit until it bled.

Jesse wisely decided to leave the topic alone after that. Perhaps, he thought wryly, he was finally learning caution after all.

-Anyone else, then?- He asked. -My troops have been surprisingly quiet all day. No enemy sightings, no unexplained noises, no suspicious civilians intercepted, not even any animal sounds ... unless they reported those to Jatt.-

-Jatt?- Lutatz asked sounding rather alarmed. -You didn't put that child in charge of incoming reports!-

Jesse rolled his eyes at him. He should have remembered that Lutatz didn't seem to understand the concept of a joke.

-No, I put him in charge of the duty rosters. I meant ...-

-Are you sure he knows how to do those?- Lutatz demanded promptly.

-He can't mess them up any more than Ramszet usually does and it should be close enough to school-work, all lists and names in files, no actual, real enemies to deal with. And if it doesn't work out Azpet has a lot of practise fixing them in a hurry.-

Not to mention that those wing leaders that had been with Jesse for a while knew how to compensate for Ramszet's and Kerost's mistakes.

-If he messes up that send him home to his Afaf. He's useless.- Razzle declared. -I'm one report ahead of you. The tank crew in Khestrez successfully defended the ... ahem ... village against three raiders on two gliders. The attackers escaped and withdrew westwards in disorder.-

-How do you tell when two gliders are in disorder?- Jesse asked mildly interested.

-I don't.- Razzle returned deadpan. -But apparently someone in that tank crew knows what it looks like. ... Or wanted to sound wise most likely.-

-Khestrez ... That's a fruit storage complex in the North-West of Gouraland, isn't it?- Lutatz asked. -Supplies the fishing villages on the nearby coast with fruits?-

-The very one.- Razzle confirmed.

-Not the most strategically valuable target they could have chosen.- Jesse diagnosed.

-I suspect they were stragglers that got a little hungry on the way home.- Razzle supplied. -If so they will have come out of Mohawksz contingent, though I didn't actually expect him to be that far North. If he is Mohawk must have had a reason to run further than he was forced to. He isn't one to panic.-

-Gattlersz influence as you predicted yesterday.- Lutatz suggested. -He directed Mohawk to some hideout in the North, maybe by the coast so they'd be in Jessesz back.-

-Maybe.- Jesse allowed. -But would Mohawk agree to being cut off from Goura house entirely? It's his home. Surely his first priority will be to take it back?-

-More relevantly it most likely would have cut him off from Ettar as well.- Razzle pointed out. -There isn't enough room there to keep their entire forces hidden and fed for long so Gattlersz troops as well as Ettarsz must be elsewhere. I'd expect Mohawk to be further to the East, inland where there are plenty of orchards and rivers to supply his troops with food and potable water and he has room to move out of the way if we send out search patrols. That will be their westernmost post with Gattler South-East of it, probably South of Jessesz line and close to Goura-house and Ettar somewhere South of the house. Always assuming that those stragglers aren't simply completely lost and running in a random direction. What about you, Professor. Have you had any reports?-

Lutatz sighed. -My troops reported the capture of five suspected spies that attempted to pass the blockade of the eastern road at Kheste.-

-Well, that's not bad.- Jesse commented.

-The oldest was a whole nineteen years old.- Lutatz continued. -And their foreman wants them back and to have access to his master's orchards for his farmhands.-

-I'm nineteen, Lutatz.- Jesse pointed out. -And I have now commanded troops in two wars. I'd feel very much capable of supplying information.-

-Those are pure-blooded Outriders, though.- Lutatz returned. -And their parents farmhands.-

-Which doesn't mean that they can't carry a bit of paper or memorise a verbal message from an adult spy to an adult soldier.- Razzle said. -That's just following orders. A much younger child can do that.-

-You don't seriously think that Ettar would use children!- Lutatz exclaimed.

-Ettar might not think of it.- Razzle agreed. -But he certainly wouldn't have any compunctions if somebody else suggested it. Gattler ... might think of it, though I don't think he'd like the idea of using a child, especially an Arthameze one. He does know Jesse well enough not to consider it impossible in any case. Have you seen those children yourself? Have they been searched?-

Lutatz shook his head.

-I had better things to do than fly halfway across the planet for a handful of frightened children. As for searched, I do not know. They have been detained and questioned. Right now the officer in charge is to view the orchard in question with the foreman and make an agreement for the release of the kids.-

-I want to see them first.- Jesse demanded.

-You can't be seriou...-

-Agreed.- Razzle said. -Rescind the order to release the children, Professor, and have them brought here so we can have a look at them and if you are going to let the farmhands pass the blockade they have to be searched for messages every time they do. They should have a military escort to protect them from the rebels while they are at work as well.-

-I'd already ordered the escort anyway.- Lutatz declared. -But the children ...-

-Won't suffer any harm from a little intercontinental trip.- Razzle declared. -I'm sure this place is worth seeing.-

Jesse doubted that the children would get much enjoyment or educational value out of this trip, but he didn't feel sorry for them either. He'd been through much more dangerous adventures and nobody had worried that they might be too scary for him. The children wouldn't come to any physical harm in any case.

The afternoon turned unbearably hot indoors and Jesse began to suspect why there had been nobody outside in the garden in the morning. They'd gotten their indoor duties done while the walls were still cool from the night and now all the natives headed outside where the temperature was more bearable ... moderately so.

Jesse still felt much too hot and for some reason his feet were itching. Did they have some sort of poison ivy here? But if so how had it gotten through his shoes?

A quick inspection didn't reveal a rash, so perhaps his skin was just dried out from the strange climate - Or perhaps the dust that had gotten into his shoes and socks somehow had been tickling him. He'd have to wash them ... later when it wasn't so hot inside anymore.

For now he was determined to stay outside and in the shade. Jatt could handle communications and alert him via the Badlander's radio if anything important happened.

Razzle seemed to have a similar idea, or at least he too was outside rummaging around in the back of his tank. Whatever he was doing looked like too much activity in the heat, though, so Jesse decided not to take a closer look and risk being recruited to help. Instead he made himself comfortable in the shade of the Badlander hoping to doze away the afternoon.

-Hey!-

Jesse, looked up. It was the girl again.

-Hey, yourself. Say, what is your name anyway?-

-Cirke.- She said. -Cirke Alzesz Uthen.-

-Jesse Marzzesz Artez.- Jesse returned not bothering to get up.

-Why don't they sword-fight like us on Varen?- Cirke demanded. -Why do they have Fleshling sabres?-

-Oh, they do and they don't.- Jesse replied prompting a snort from the direction of the tank. So Razzle was still around. Jesse had assumed that he must have left because he hadn't heard a sound from that direction in a while.

-What now?- Cirke asked.

-They fight the way you do, though they don't take it nearly as seriously.- Except for Cain of course. Would he ever see Cain again with this war going on? -And they don't have Fleshling sabres.-

-But you said they didn't and that you learned to fight with a Fleshling sabre as a boy.-

This time Razzle laughed out loud.

-I didn't say I grew up on Varen, though.-

-But your clan is from there.-

-Yes, but I grew up on Yuma anyway.-

-Where's that?-

Apparently this child had never even heard of the battle of Yuma!

-Far, far away, in a completely different world.-

-Eh?-

-It's a place where they just might eat little nosy girls who can't even defend themselves- Razzle interjected. -So perhaps you shouldn't venture quite this close.-

Cirke eyed Jesse, then something he was feeling too hot and lazy to turn over and look at.

-Girls aren't edible.- She declared. -I'm not a baby that you can scare with such silly tales.-

-Think what you will, but Jesse definitely has eaten meat before. I've seen it.-

-So what?- Jesse asked still not bothering to move and look at Razzle. -Doesn't mean I eat people.-

Cirke made a face. -Yuck! Didn't you get sick?-

-It's what they eat on Yuma.- Jesse told her. -It's not like I chose it, or was even asked. I just ate what they gave me.-

-Nobody forced it on you when you came here.- Razzle pointed out.

What the?

-I was used to it, damn it! I didn't even know what Outriders eat at first. I certainly had no idea it was a safe option for me.-

Cirke's eyes grew wider and wider with fear until she turned and bolted ... straight into Lutatz.

She yelped when he caught her.

-Why, what's the matter with you?- He asked sounding mildly concerned.

-He eats people!-

-Do not!-

-I wouldn't be so sure of that.-

-Razzle!-

Razzle grinned at Lutatz. -What? I'm just teasing.-

-Oh, you're awful! The lot of you!- Cirke snapped and ran off.

Gattler shook his head and slipped back deeper into the jungle. It would have been fun to watch these antics, if only the situation had been a little less dire, if only Ettar's orders hadn't been what they were, if only ...

Why had Nemesis sent Razzle and Jesse? Why couldn't it have been Point? Alone. He had no troublesome orders concerning Point.

Or even better sent Orat? Gattler had no orders concerning Orat either, but neither did he have any compunctions against attempting to kill him. Death was a fact of life and Gattler had watched a lot of people that he liked much better than Orat die. A lot more slowly and painfully than a well aimed shot out of the jungle killed you, too.

Yes, if Nemesis had sent Orat he would have taken a shot and if it'd hit, well, bad luck for Orat, and if it'd missed, he'd have tried and it would be too dangerous to repeat the attempt. Either way he could have reported back to Ettar and honestly said that he'd done the best he could to prove his loyalty, but unfortunately neither of his targets was there and if he'd killed Orat he could have said that he'd killed Orat instead. Surely that would have been worth something.

He reached his glider unnoticed by people and unremarked upon even by the birds nesting in the trees. No use standing around here, he had to report sooner or later and the longer it took the more likely it was that Ettar would be in a bad mood and realise that he'd been stalling.

He got on and picked up the radio.

-Lord Ettar? This is Gattler. I ... got as close as I could and can confirm that Lutatz, Razzle and Jesse are definitely present. I ... The place is too well guarded to attempt a shot,though. I could not find a place that is close enough to hit the mark from and still would have left me a chance to escape afterwards.-

-Oh really? Couldn't you? Or could it be that you just didn't want to?-

Screw Ettar! Gattler started the engine and took off at a speed that ensured that engine sound and wind combined would entirely drown out any further words that might come out of the radio.

-So it isn't true?-

Razzle leaned back in his seat and regarded Cirke with an expression of mild curiosity. She might be on the side of the enemy, but he doubted that she could do anything to his tank even if she were left alone with it. She wouldn't be, of course, and while he was there to watch she was welcome to climb all over it if she liked. He wouldn't allow her to leave anything behind here and not even Ettar could talk an Uthen into accepting a suicide mission, especially a noble born female. They knew too well how valuable their lives were to their clan.

-That depends on just what it you mean.- He said.

Cirke rolled her eyes and let herself drop through the hatch and onto the seat beside him. The only items she brought along were her pocketless hize and the dirt on her feet. A dangerous agent indeed, if agent at all.

-That Jesse would eat me.-

-Commander Jesse.- Razzle corrected. -Try not to step on the seat if you can avoid it. The dried earth will be uncomfortable to sit on.-

Another eye-roll.

-Well, I assumed you meant to sit in any case.-

She knelt.

-And no, I don't think he'll consider it as long as he has enough fruits to eat. As far as I know he's quite fond of little girls. You probably remind him of his youngest sister.-

-Sister? Pah.- She frowned.

She was thirteen, so she'd probably seen twelve younger siblings die. Or more. Razzle didn't know the statistical likelihood, but surely there had to be at least one set of twins in twelve births.

-I hear she's his favourite relative and he hasn't seen her in at least a year. He's probably happy to have any little girl around at the moment.-

-I'm not little.-

-Awfully scrawny for your age, actually.-

-I'm strong. I'm a survivor.-

-A small one nevertheless, but never mind that. Jesse won't care. He isn't exactly big himself.-

-So he doesn't eat people. You lied when you said you'd seen him. Why should I believe you now?- She challenged.

-He probably won't, but he is physically capable of it. And I never said I'd seen him eat people. I have seen him eat meat.-

-Eeeewwww!-

-Yes quite, but he is physically capable of it, so I suppose it can't taste that terrible to him and people don't taste any different from other meat. What I saw him eat, though, probably was some Fleshling animal. Fleshlings breed them for eating you see. You can buy them cut up in their shops or find bits of them in your food if you eat at one of their restaurants and aren't careful enough what you order.-

Cirke's face had grown more and more nauseated as he spoke. -Fleshlings are, horrible, disgusting creatures!-

-Actually, between the two of us, they aren't horrible at all. There are much more monstrous species in our own dimension. In fact, the latest theory I heard says that they are actually no species at all, but an unusual looking Outrider race. There's absolutely no biological reason to be any more scared of Jesse than of me ... or Ettar.-

Cirke frowned at him in silence and he wondered how many of those words she had recognised. She was free to ask, of course. Razzle liked to help expand children's vocabulary.

-Outriders don't eat meat.- She said finally.

-If that theory is true the Fleshlings' ancestors were accidentally thrown into the Fleshling dimension a long time ago. There they would have been stranded on a planet with short food supplies and unable to repair their technical equipment. They had to adopt a primitive lifestyle and rediscover technology centuries later. In the meantime their bodies had to adapt to the lack of food by growing smaller and expanding their food spectrum to include things that are not edible to us. On the whole Fleshlings are very much like us, just less advanced in technology and science.-

Cirke frowned some more, then pointed at the radar monitor. -What's that then?-

Lutatz was even less impressed with his prisoners when he saw them in person then he had been when their capture had first been reported to him. They looked awfully young, scrawny and frightened, were dressed in little more than rags and whimpered when the soldiers shooed them out of the transport plane that had brought them.

For a moment Lutatz even considered sending them back on board. Surely the Uthene didn't want anything this dirty in their home.

It was only a momentary impulse, though. The transport was no fit place for an interrogation and considering that he'd have to squeeze in at least himself, Razzle and Jesse with the children it didn't offer enough room.

He appropriated Afrar Sesta's small meeting-room for the purpose instead and placed an armed guard at the door which at least impressed the Uthene children, then went to start procedures by talking to the prisoners himself first.

-I am Commander Lutatz.- He informed them, but that was as far as he got before the door opened and Razzle walked in.

-This won't do.- Razzle informed Lutatz right away. -We need a proper complement of guards if we are to keep prisoners in this room.-

-They are mere children.- Lutatz pointed out. -One armed guard will do nicely when they are unarmed and locked in.-

-The Uthene, Professor, are not all children and at least half of them are already outside watching. None of them may be soldiers, but they are all skilled sword-fighters and several of them working together might very well be capable of bringing down one armed guard if they are clever enough. Much as I regret the fact, all the native population are our enemies here.-

Lutatz sighed and radioed for three more men only to regret his haste when Jesse arrived with an armed escort of four of his own that immediately placed themselves on either side of the door rendering any further guards superfluous. The youngest prisoner immediately clutched on to what was probably his older sister or cousin sobbing something about 'home'.

-Quite pathetic.- Jesse stated coldly at the sight. -Do you expect us to feel sorry for you now? Well, I have news for you: You should have thought about how much you love your home and Mummy and Afaf before you decided to go sneaking past military guard-posts. Or are you really too stupid to realise that you were sure to be caught and arrested? Or that spies don't get to go home to their parents for dinner? You won't be seeing your home or clan again for a good long time, quite possibly never at all.-

Two of the other children burst into tears.

-Now, now, let's not be hasty.- Razzle said in what for him was a pretty nice tone. -These children are pathetically incompetent enough that we hardly need to worry about letting them go. Perhaps we can strike a deal.-

-D ... deal?- Said the girl with a first hint of hope in her voice.

-We don't have much to trade with.- The oldest boy offered. -But I have a latghe and ... Misez should still have some seeds in his pocket.-

-A latghe?- Lutatz asked incredulously. -You are offering us one latghe for your freedom?-

-And some seeds. The latghe is a windfall so it's a little mushy on one side, but it should taste alright and there are two stones in it.- The boy pitched.

-Cute.- Jesse declared. -But hardly the kind of merchandise we deal in.-

-But it's all we've got!- The boy whined. -We're only farm labourers! We don't own anything! We can't sell what we don't own.-

-Didn't you hear what Jesse said?- Razzle inquired with mild scorn. -We don't trade in fruits. We are soldiers, not merchants or farmers. You have to offer us something we actually have a use for.-

-But you have a use for the latghe.- The girl intervened. -You can eat it.-

-And why would I want to eat your latghe when there are thousands right there on the trees outside?- Jesse pointed at the window which did indeed show an orchard in the background, though Lutatz doubted that these particular trees were latghe ones. -I could just go out there and pick my own without having to give anything for it in return. And I wouldn't pick a mushy one either. You'll have to come up with something better than that, something we don't already have plenty of.-

-Like what?- The girl asked. -We've been searched. You must know we haven't got anything useful.-

-And you took our harvesting knives.- The second oldest boy complained. -Don't we get anything for those?-

-No, you don't.- Razzle declared simply.

-Like actually useful information.- Jesse supplied. -Tell us something we don't already know and can use.-

-Such as where we can find Commander Ettar.- Razzle added.

-But, but we don't know that!- The oldest boy yelped. -We don't know anything. I don't even know what Ettar looks like! I'm only nineteen. How could I know anything?-

-Well, guess what.- Jesse said with a nasty grin. -So am I and I know a damned lot. Unfortunately I can't tell you any of it, because dear old Ettar would probably be willing to give an arm and a leg for it ... except for the outdated stuff, of course. I could tell you exactly how Fleshlings kill Outrider prisoners for example. Maybe I could even include a demonstration. That one on the left is especially scrawny and hasn't said anything yet. I think we could do without him, don't you, Razzle?-

Razzle regarded the child as if considering his usefulness. -Doesn't look like anyone would miss him much, but why waste time with useless demonstrations of useless torture techniques? They are the ones that should be telling us things not the other way around.-

Jesse shrugged. -Oh well, maybe later, then.-

There were some more sobs and pleading from the children who really had to be seriously traumatised by now, but no useful information and Lutatz almost wished he could strangle both his fellow Commanders for their heartlessness, but such an attempt would have been sure to fail even if it hadn't been for Jesse's guards in the room. The shared training had made it quite clear that he wasn't a match for either of those two, certainly not both at once ... not to mention what Nemesis would most likely do to him afterwards.

At least the girl proved to be of somewhat sterner stuff than the rest and have something resembling a brain, which was actually surprising considering her lowly status. She made a valiant attempt at inventing a plausible story that might have looked convincing in a historical holomovie, but unfortunately didn't match the realities of modern warfare.

-Cute.- Razzle commented this time. -But I fear not even Mohawk would hire you as a tactical advisor based on that pile of nonsense. Or do you think he might actually fall for it?-

Jesse shrugged. -You've known him longer than I and I've never heard anyone suggest a plan that was even remotely as weak as this. Of course, I've never discussed tactics with a ragged farm-girl before.-

-Well, maybe their clan has something more useful to exchange for them.- Razzle remarked. -If not we might get some labour out of them somehow, though they look too scrawny to be much use.-

And that was it. Lutatz had known that it would be a waste of time to bring these children here from the start, of course. 


	11. Chapter 10: The Stupid, The Weak and The

Disclaimer 1: This is fanfic. That means I do not own any of it. I just borrow it to play with for a little while and let people see the pathetic results if they really want to.

Disclaimer 2: I'm not making any money from it. It's just for fun.

Disclaimer 3: What isn't borrowed is all made up. None of this is real or most likely at all realistic. Please don't trust any of the information in here. Most likely you know more about whatever I'm writing about than I do.

Disclaimer 4: Attitudes, views and opinions expressed by the characters or in the story are not necessarily those of the author. Even when writing Science Fiction or Fantasy I do not tend to attempt to create perfect/better worlds in which everybody gets a happy end ... or whatever is best for them. Please accept that some characters will have a bad ending or be unhappy.

Disclaimer 5: I intend no insult to anyone. If I offend anyone I'm very sorry. Please understand that it was an accident as I tend to be very clumsy in these things.

A/N: So, Ramszet ...

Chapter 10: The Stupid, The Weak and The Gods

They left the children to stew over night and found the girl had concocted yet another unlikely story in the morning.

-Maybe we should sell the other four to Lord Rjizen to work in the mines on Ishara and keep this one for entertainment.- Jesse suggested when she'd finished and looked at him expectantly.

The result wasn't quite what he'd expected. While the youngest once again burst into tears the older ones appeared to be more curious than scared.

-You mean you'll take us to another world?- Misez asked. -Really? We get to leave Arthame?-

-We might.- Razzle allowed. -Mind you, you'd be proper slaves then and you wouldn't like the weather on Ishara.-

-I've always wanted to know what ice looks like.- The oldest said. -I dreamed of it once.-

-Will you take me with you when you leave the planet, too?- The girl asked.

-Will you tell our parents that you sold us offworld?- The quiet one asked suddenly. -I think they'd want to know. They're probably worried for us now.-

-And they wouldn't worry if they knew you'd been sold?- Jesse inquired.

-No, they'd be happy for us. We'd get to see other worlds.- Misez explained. -Afaf always wanted to.-

-This won't be a holiday trip.- Jesse informed them. -You'll never come back, never see your clan again. Maybe you won't even be allowed to write messages home.-

-We might get to record holo-messages?- The girl squealed excitedly.

Jesse looked to Razzle for help and found that the old scarecrow looked thoroughly amused.

-Let's just keep them under arrest until the end of the fighting on this planet and then send them back home.- He suggested. -They'd enjoy slavery too much and we don't want to reward them.-

The kids actually looked disappointed.

-You want to keep them here?- Lutaz asked. -With the Uthene?-

-No.- Razzle decided. -We'll set up a prison camp in the capital. That'll be more secure and less luxurious. I'll ... no wait, tell Jatt to see Kieste about it. He can make himself useful behind the lines by taking some work off Kiestesz shoulders. I don't really want to waste one of my Subcommanders on a simple task like that.-

-Let Jatt do it by himself then.- Lutaz suggested.

-We want a prison camp, not a petting zoo.- Razzle reminded his fellow Commander. -I'm not sure Jatt knows the difference.-

Jesse just nodded and went to find Jatt to inform him of his new task. It would probably prove educational and Razzle's second in command could probably be used very efficiently elsewhere. The boy appeared happy enough with his orders, but when Jesse left the room Ramszet followed him.

-Uh ... Commander?-

-Yes?- Jesse asked wondering what the problem was. -Did something break?-

-No, I just ...- Ramszet's eyes were on the neckcloth around Jesse's wrist. -I thought ... You are still sick, aren't you? I thought you were well again.-

-I'm fine.- Jesse assured him. -Perfectly fit to command troops in battle again, or His Nastiness wouldn't have sent us here.-

-Of course! I would never doubt His Nastiness!- Ramszet confirmed hastily. -But you have nightmares and you still need medicine.-

-Sort of.- Jesse said not wanting to confirm that, but also convinced that it was none of Ramszet's business. -What's it to you?-

-Well, I ... I just want you to be completely well again and I thought you were and ...does it hurt a lot?-

-What? You've got some things really mixed up here, Ramszet.- Jesse decided to go deeper into the matter after all. Clearly Ramszet's intentions were quite nice and he didn't want his troops to get the wrong idea. -First of all, none of it hurts. Technically I'm completely well again and I certainly feel it, but Moku told me some milder symptoms might recur for quite a while, yet. The medicine is a precaution. I don't actually need it, but it makes Moku feel better.-

-And the nightmares?- Ramszet asked meekly. -Do you get those a lot?-

Jesse sighed. -I'm afraid so. I don't want to wake everybody up every night, but getting drunk was the only way I ever found to stop them and ... well, I can't work drunk. I'd make too many mistakes.-

-So ... they're not a symptom?-

Well, what did you know, Ramszet was actually able to follow this explanation!

-No, they were the cause. I've had them ever since I woke up after the battle of Yuma.-

Ramszet nodded. -Ah, I know that. My great-aunt had it too.-

-What? Recurring nightmares?-

More nodding. -After getting hurt in battle. Not Yuma, though. It was Ghezhank. That was her first battle and a Th'Hone ate her wing leader. Great-aunt Atze had to take command of the wing, but it was too many planes and they made her a common soldier afterwards.-

-Does she have the same problem with too many buttons you do?- Jesse asked with a grin.

-She's better at buttons.- Ramszet admitted. -But I'm better at planes. She says they move too much.-

-Ah, like Gattler with fast flyers.- Jesse said. -He hates things that don't remain roughly where he left them.-

-No, no, great-aunt Atze loves fast flyers. She piloted one for many years. But she never commanded again and she had nightmares. Still has sometimes, but not so much. It got better in time.-

-Well, that's good news for the dorm back at home, I guess.- Jesse decided. -But it won't help us here and now.-

-I just ... well, it's not as strange as Commander Lutaz says. People get nightmares from battles. Real Outriders. It's not a Fleshling thing. ... You know, if somebody should say that.-

-I don't think they will.- Jesse mused. -At least nobody has yet. I think everybody has nightmares sometimes. At least even Razzle said he does. They just don't wake up their dorms screaming every night. Or don't you get nightmares?-

-I haven't had one of battle, yet. I just dream of the Academy.- Ramszet admitted.

-The Academy? Is it such a terrible place?-

-No, I just dream that I have an exam and when I get there instead of answering questions I have to push buttons and there are hundreds of them.-

-Some of my dreams are of the Academy as well.- Jesse confided. -Only it's on fire and the students are burning and I can't save them.-

-That makes more sense than the buttons.- Ramszet declared. -At least the Academy really did burn. Buildings sometimes burn in battles and you can't go save people because you have to keep fighting.-

-You do know that by fighting the enemy we save people, too, right? It won't help them to escape the fire if they get shot by the enemy instead.-

-Won't help them to escape the enemy if they burn instead either.- Ramszet pointed out. -Is a stupid situation.-

-Yeah, I guess so. But that fire at the Academy was all my fault. And the enemy getting so near it was, too. I shouldn't have tried to prevent the collision.-

-No.- Said Ramszet and then his eyes went very wide. -That's buttons, too! You touched the wrong button of that computer. It's always buttons.-

-Not in your great-aunt's case.- Jesse reminded him. -You told me she's good with buttons, remember?-

-You're good with buttons, too.- Ramszet told him. -But they still tricked you that time. Buttons are dangerous.-

-So, do you swim then?- Cirke demanded once again appearing at the end of Jesse's training session.

-Swim?-

-Yes, you know: in water.- Cirke explained rolling her eyes at him.

-Now that actually sounds like a good idea in this weather.- Jesse had to admit. -Is there a place to swim around here then?-

-So you can?- Cirke seemed surprised.

-I learned as a boy. I haven't had the chance to in a long time, though. So if you were hoping for a competition I'm probably the wrong choice again. If you just want to cool down and need an adult to go with, though ...-

-I'm bored.- Cirke declared. -That's all. River's this way. Or well, the part that's good for swimming is. Down that way the jungle gets so dense you get all scratched up before you can get in.-

She started walking.

-Hey, wait a moment. Don't we need to get changed to swim?- And he hadn't brought swimming trunks. Did Outriders wear Fleshling style swimming trunks? -And fetch towels?-

Cirke stared at him. -Whatever for?-

-Well, where I come from it's considered inappropriate for a man to swim naked with a woman, or a girl that will be a woman soon.-

-Why would it be? And what do towels have to do with it?-

-The towels are so we don't get our clothes all wet when we put them back on afterwards.- -But wet clothes are nice and cool.-

-Well, in any case I can't just run off. The soldiers must know where to find me. So at least give me a moment to tell Razzle.-

Razzle laughed when he heard of the proposed swimming trip.

-From Gattlersz description the place isn't far, but do take a blaster and a knife. You can tell Cirke it's to guard against wild animals if she complains, but don't trust her too much. Gattler's still out there and she'd have no compunctions against luring us into a trap if he asked her to.-

Jesse nodded. That much had occurred to him as well.

-But is it alright for us to swim naked? She hasn't hit puberty, yet, but she's hardly a toddler.-

Razzle shrugged. -They aren't that keen on virginity here, but, well, you know, don't have sex with them anyway. And try not to swallow the water. I think there might be things in there that she might be used to, but we are not.-

Yes, that made sense.

-Want to come along? Two of us would probably be safer.-

But Razzle shook his head. -I can't.-

-Why not?- It wasn't like they had any immediate actions planned. Surely whatever Razzle had to do could wait a few hours.

-I can't swim.-

Jesse blinked.

-Really?- He said incredulously. At Razzle's age that seemed, well, impossible.

-Really. And from Gattlersz description there aren't a lot of places you can stand in, so I suppose, if I absolutely want a bath, I'll have to find myself a tub.-

-But why the ... well, whatever, can't you swim?-

-Don't go malingering any gods during a civil war.- Razzle cautioned. -Usually they've all got a hand in an affair like this one.-

Jesse almost laughed, but bit it back just in time. -I don't know anything about your gods, remember? I've only ever heard of them as a figure of speech.-

And who'd ever have thought that Razzle of all people was religious?

-And maybe that's all they are, but maybe they're not, who knows. It's best to be on the safe side and respect them.-

-Right.- And this wasn't the time to inquire into Outrider religion.

Jesse grabbed a towel from the bathroom and went to find Cirke.

The river turned out to be an excellent place to swim and the bank was nice and muddy here, no under-brush they had to break through and get all scratched up as Cirke had said.

The girl clearly had seen naked men before, so the invitation to swim naked hadn't been offered out of sexual curiosity, nor did any enemy soldiers or wild animals burst out of the forest.

And while a long dive confirmed that the water was indeed deep in the middle of the river it was shallow enough near the bank that Jesse thought Razzle had been over-cautious. He certainly could have waded about near the bank safely enough.

-You were surprised that I can swim.- He prompted Cirke as they lay stretched out side by side waiting for the sun to dry their hair.

-You can't sword-fight.- Cirke pointed out. -But you really can swim. I had my doubts after you said you hadn't in so long.-

-I suppose it isn't something you forget. Are you used to strangers not being able to, though?-

Cirke shrugged. -We don't usually get a lot of strangers here. But Ettar can't swim and Gattler said there's no place to on the Warworld, so you can't learn there.-

-There aren't a lot of natural places like this on Yuma either.- Jesse allowed. -But they built artificial basins inside buildings for children to learn in. One might visit another world and fall into a body of water someday.-

-They don't have much water to waste on the Warworld Gattler says.-

-True, but that doesn't account for Ettar. He's a colonist like you ... or me.- It did explain Razzle, though. -Did you learn right here or is there a better place for those who can't? I think my soldiers might enjoy a cool bath as well, but most of them are from the Warworld so they can't go all that far in here.-

-I learned here, but there are other places further away and you have planes. You could fly all the way to the sea. There's a really nice lake, too. It's a bit of a hike from here, though. Gattler used to take us on day-trips there when he came home on leave.- She sighed. -But he can't come on leave while you are here now.-

-I'm afraid not.- And he couldn't go to Varen to see his siblings any more than he could return to Yuma for a quick visit. -Civil wars suck, don't they?-

Cirke shrugged. -What do I know or care? I'm going to be an accountant.-

Yes, right, because war never touched accountants.

Jatt wasn't there for lunch, but then neither was Kieste and Razzle didn't seem to care. Quite possibly Jesse wouldn't have noticed their absence much either if it hadn't resulted in Azpet and Ramszet competing for the chair next to him in order to avoid sitting right across from Razzle.

Jesse had promised to serve as a shield for Azpet, but then Ramszet had been awfully nice this morning and he didn't want to force Razzle's attention on him either. Somebody had to sit in that chair, though.

-Please, Commander!- Azpet pleaded. -I'm so out of place at this table anyway. Don't make me.-

He probably wouldn't be able to eat at all while he felt Razzle's eyes on him.

-I'm sorry, Ramszet.- Jesse finally decided. -But you do have a right to sit among old blood nobles by birth, even if they do outrank you in the army.-

-But it's Razzle and Lutaz.- Ramszet whined. -I can't talk with them. I never understand what they say.-

-Then talk with me or eat. They can't expect you to say anything while you're chewing.- Jesse advised. -And I'll try to intervene if they push you for an answer.-

Ramszet sighed and obeyed.

-Don't tell me your Subcommanders have problems remembering their ranking order as well as where to find an on button.- Razzle commented just loud enough to be sure Ramszet could hear it on the way around the table.

-Ramszet merely wasn't aware Jatt and Kieste aren't going to join us.- Jesse lied. -And Azpetsz exact position is quite complicated. He doesn't want to force his presence on you, but I do need him around.-

-You should have made Jatt your secretary.- Razzle recommended. -He'd be perfectly appropriate here and he ought to be able to spell.-

-Azpet can spell really well.- Ramszet declared sitting down. -He reads a lot. Jatt doesn't like books.-

-Really?- Jesse asked honestly surprised. -I didn't know that. I thought ... Well, I guess there are a lot of nobles that don't like to read, but Jattsz sister is a scientist.-

-Yeah, she must read a lot.- Ramszet decided.

-I usually find it to be a matter of intelligence more than professional choice.- Razzle declared. -Jatt didn't strike me as particularly stupid so far, but perhaps he does look smarter by comparison.-

-Can't you just leave Ramszet alone?- Jesse surprised himself by saying. -He's a good and loyal fellow even if he can't out-think Mohawk.-

-Now that'd be a theory worth testing.- Razzle replied undaunted. -The question would be how, though. The strategy simulator has too many buttons.-

Ramszet shuddered. -Buttons are evil.-

-Buttons are dead objects.- Lutaz informed him. -They can't be good or evil and they are useful.-

-They exert pressure on relays, switches and valves.- Razzle added for further explanation. -A mechanical function that can be used to trigger all sorts of different effects.-

Ramszet hastily stuffed a large huntza into his mouth and Jesse had to fight back the urge to giggle.

-Can relays, switches and valves find Ettar for us then?- He suggested to change the topic and rescue Ramszet.

-It doesn't appear so at the moment.- Razzle admitted. -At least I have not received any further reports of sightings.-

-Neither have I.- Lutaz agreed. -It's rather strange that there aren't even any stragglers anymore. Usually you get quite a lot of lost soldiers after an unexpected and hasty change of position like this.-

-So whatever their new position is it includes a prearranged emergency relocation place that is easy to find and not too close to any of our positions.- Jesse concluded. -Any convenient landmarks that spring to mind?-

Razzle shook his head. -There are plenty of natural landmarks on Gouraland and I know a lot less about them than the ones here. I never heard Mohawk reminisce about childhood excursions.-

-Magneto-locators?- Azpet whispered suddenly.

-Eh?- Ramszet made.

-Oh, I was just still thinking about using buttons to find Ettar.- Azpet explained to him. -Magneto-locators are machines with buttons and they should be able to detect unusually high concentrations of metals wherever they keep their vehicles.-

-If we had old magneto-sounding records to compare their results with.- Razzle commented causing Azpet to flinch and duck over his bowl. -Since we don't all we can scan for are concentrations of metals in areas that are unlikely to be either natural occurrences or civilian installations.-

-From what I've seen of the local villages they aren't likely to give us a lot of false positives there at least.- Lutaz declared. -I'd say it's worth a try.-

-Way ahead of you.- Razzle replied with a sneer. -We already scanned most of the planet's surface yesterday. No luck. Either they have set up magneto-shields, are mimicking veins of natural ore or are in a dead zone.-

-So what if we check all dead zones and veins of ore?- Jesse suggested.

-Have fun combing the entire Goura mountains.- Was Razzle's laconic reply.

-That does narrow down the options a little, though.- Lutaz concluded. -At least they aren't in the flatlands.-

-Unless they have magneto-shields. Don't forget those.- Razzle reminded him. -They're more likely to be in the mountains, I'd say, but there's no swearing to it. They'd need quite a lot of shields to cover their entire army of course and it's likely that at least some out of so many would experience malfunctions, but on the other hand they might have only a part of their troops stationed in the flatlands, a single shield malfunctioning would result in a concentration of metal small enough to be mistaken for a large harvest vehicle or packing plant and we'd have to be scanning the right place at the right time to detect it before they repair or replace the shield. We can't discount the possibility.-

-Sorry.- Azpet mumbled.

-Oh no.- Razzle said much to Jesse's surprise. -By no means. Do keep those ideas coming. What else can you think of to find a hidden army?-

-I didn't mean to speak out of turn, really. It just slipped out.- Azpet pleaded.

Razzle gave an exasperated hiss. -And I say do speak out of turn. What would you do in my place? What do you think I have done?-

Azpet trembled.

Jesse leaned his shin against his under the table. -He means it, Azpet. He wants you to talk back.-

-Follow food sources?- Azpet whispered.

-Now that I actually haven't done and for very good reasons.- Razzle replied. -This planet is pretty much covered in food from pole to pole. You can feed troops absolutely everywhere so that angle would get us nowhere. What else?-

-Water?- Azpet tried. -They won't have desalinators here, right?-

-True, but plenty of rivers, creeks and lakes. Not to mention watering channels dug to water the trees, juicy fruits and this is the rainy season on Gouraland. And we know for a fact that their main force is on Gouraland. They won't get thirsty.-

-Room? Lots of troops need enough room for everybody to lie down and you can't park vehicles on steep mountain cliffs. If they are in the mountains they need a large valley or plateau. We can fly over those and check for visual signs.-

-Not a bad idea, but we have no proof that they're that concentrated. They could be using quite small valleys if they're split into small units and that brings us back to combing the mountains for which we can't spare too many flyers without giving up valuable positions of our own.- Razzle lectured. -Next?-

-Er ... uh ... Those kid spies? They were on foot and definitely from the closest village, right?- Azpet said a little more loudly, but very hastily. -So they can't have meant to go very far. At least some enemy troops must be close by.-

-Except that after questioning them we're pretty sure those kids are completely innocent. They're just stupid children that had no clue what they were doing. If there's anything there it's a coincidence.-

-Then ... wait for them to make a move, maybe provoke one. Random flyovers of likely locations to bait them into attacking the plane?-

-Are you volunteering?- Lutaz sneered.

-Not him.- Razzle snapped. -Some of the worst leftovers Jesse snapped up so cheaply in the fastest strikers we have will be good enough for this ... if you want to risk them?-

Jesse hesitated just a moment. He didn't want to send anyone to his death, but a fast striker was pretty hard to hit and they could accelerate up and away at the first shot. The location was all they needed after all.

-Yes, I think I do. We'll need to check the map to identify worthwhile routes, though. It'd be a waste of time and fuel to make completely random flights.-

-Pick your pilots and planes first.- Lutaz advised. -It'll help to know how many we're going to risk.-

That too required data he had no access to right there at the lunch table so for the moment the discussion was over, though Azpet kept shooting glances at Razzle behind Jesse's back for the rest of the meal.

Of course the afternoon was way too hot inside again and so Jesse took his lists of pilots and planes outside and found a shady place in the garden. And then he sat there and stared at the names of Outriders some of whom he couldn't even match faces to yet.

How did one pick whom to kill? Not that those baiting flights were outright suicide missions, but the risk was higher than on most normal missions and the chosen pilots would each have to fly many times. To give them the best chances to survive they should be experienced pilots with fast reflexes, but on the other hand those were particularly valuable.

Razzle's idea had been to use the least valuable soldiers instead, but then which ones were those? If somebody had asked him that a few days ago Jesse would have said the least intelligent, but after Ramszet's unexpected concern and attempt at reassurance this morning Jesse found that he was quite convinced that Ramszet at least was a rather valuable person. Who was there to say that just because someone was stupid they didn't have some other very worthwhile characteristic?

Ramszet in any case was an officer and officers, Jesse decided, were valuable if only for the five years of extra training that had been invested in them. He also didn't feel like weeding out the alcoholics in his troops, or the ones with histories of disobedience.

The cowards then? But all the ones he had accepted were ones who had only a single incident against them. A single mistake shouldn't tell that hard against them and if they truly were too cowardly to be of value, were they fit for the task at all? What if they chickened out of the flights and deserted instead?

-Hi!- It was Cirke again. -What are you doing?-

-Working.-

-What are you working on? I thought your work's fighting people.-

-My work is commanding soldiers. That also includes a lot of administrative work.- Jesse explained. -You guys raise fruits and sell them, right?-

-Of course.-

-But that doesn't just mean, planting and watering and harvesting, then driving the goods to market. You told me you are to be an accountant, for example, because there's a lot of accounting that needs to be done with so many fruit trees.-

-Yep.- Cirke confirmed.

-It's much the same with soldiers. We can't all just fight. Somebody has to count stuff and make sure we all have the equipment we need and are where we are supposed to be, and have food to eat. And I have to make sure all those people are doing their jobs right and to make plans.-

-Management.- Cirke declared. -Afrar Sesta and Uncle Houks do that for us.-

-Well, Razzle, Lutaz and I do it for us.- Jesse told her. -And this here is some management stuff.-

It wouldn't be safe to tell her what exactly he was doing or let her see the lists of course, so he packed them away.

-Say Cirke.- He said after a moment. -If you were Afrar Sesta and you had a very large shipment of fruits to send to market quickly before they spoil, but the way to the market is really dangerous right now ... There are some very hungry wild animals in the area, people eating animals. You can't wait for them to go away, though, because your fruits will go bad and then you can't sell them anymore. So you have to send some people to the market with those fruits, but you are pretty sure some of those people will be eaten by the wild animals on the way, which people would you send?-

Cirke stared at him wide-eyed.

-Nobody.- She said with barely any hesitation. -Every living clan member is worth more than any shipment of fruits. Better they should rot than that someone should die.-

Well, on second thought he should have expected that answer from a clan that had money and food coming out their ears, but was seriously short of members.

-Okay, different scenario.- He decided. -You still have that route with the hungry animals, but this time you're not selling fruit, you have a lot of sick children in your clan and you are out of medicine. If you don't send someone to fetch more medicine all the sick children will die, but again not all the people you send to fetch the medicine will survive the trip. Whom do you send?-

This time Cirke took a very long time to answer, her eyes went wider and wider and she almost gasped for breath.

-It's alright.- Jesse assured her alarmed by this reaction. He hadn't meant to traumatise her or cause her to have some sort of fit. -It's not really going to happen. It's ... it's just a holo movie scenario. You know, a big exciting adventure movie where the hero brings home the medicine at the very last moment in the end. And it's not you that has to make the decision. It's Afrar Sesta, but not even really Afrar Sesta, but an actor playing him in the movie.-

-The weakest.- Cirke gasped. -Afrar would send the weakest, can't waste strong lives.-

-That's an interesting solution. I'd have thought the most stupid, but then a stupid person's life can still be valuable. A stupid person might be very strong for example. But a weak person might be very smart.-

-A stupid person would be more likely to be eaten.- Cirke pointed out. -They might not be able to think of a way to escape the animals. Then more people would die.-

-A weak person would be more likely to be eaten, too.- Jesse returned. -They might not be strong enough to fight off the animals.-

Cirke frowned. -Then if Afrar Sesta sent the strongest and smartest fewer people might die? But the weak ones might die anyway and they would have weaker children than the dead strong ones would have had if they'd lived. ... That's a lot more complicated than I thought at first. What is the right answer?-

-I don't know. That's why I asked you. I thought maybe you could think of a better answer than me, but it seems yours is just as good or bad as mine.-

-But you're an adult and a soldier! You've got to know.-

-I wish I did, but adults don't always have all the answers either and sometimes we get something terribly wrong.-

Cirke's eyes went wide again and Jesse hastily looked around for a distraction before she started gasping as well.

-What's that anyway?- He asked her nodding towards an odd leaf-shaped table-bowl combination that stood under the sculpture of a fruit tree in the centre of the Uthene's garden.

Why the heck did they have a sculpture of a fruit tree when there were real fruit trees growing wherever one looked, anyway?

-Why, that's the altar of Uth!- Cirke exclaimed. -Don't you have one on Varen?-

Jesse shrugged. -Not that I noticed, but I haven't spent all that much time there. Who's Uth exactly?-

Cirke gasped. -Why, he's the god of trees and fruits. Without him you'd have nothing to eat!-

-Ah, so he's your main god here on Arthame?- That made sense.

Cirke seemed to ponder that for a while.

-Not really. I mean he is rather important, but so are a lot of other gods. My personal main god is Cir of course since I am named for him.-

-And who's Cir then?- He was rather amused by the exasperated and scandalised looks Cirke was giving him.

-Why he's ... You're just teasing me, aren't you?-

-No ... well, maybe a little, but I did grow up among Fleshlings and they know nothing about Outrider gods. So Uth is trees and fruits, you said. What's Cir?-

-Cir is weather. He's hugely important!- Cirke informed him.

-Except that I've never heard of him either.- Lutaz commented joining them in their nice shady spot.

Cirke glared at him.

-I suppose he must be a local favourite.- Lutaz offered. -You might want to ask Razzle. Maybe Gattler's told him something about it.-

-Cir can ruin whole harvests!- Cirke shouted -He can blow over houses or wash whole villages into the sea!-

Lutaz shrugged -That doesn't change the fact that I know nothing about him. I suppose he must have an altar in the hall of the gods back home, but ...- another shrug. -I don't remember ever seeing it.-

-You have heard of Uth, though, haven't you?- Cirke demanded sternly.

-Yes, of course.- Lutaz confirmed. -My grandparents still thanked Uth before every meal.- He confided in Jesse. -But the custom has become rather unfashionable.-

-Well, Cir is Uthsz father.- Cirke declared. -What do you say to that?-

In fact neither of them had anything to say about it at all, but Jesse decided to take the question to Razzle just as Lutaz had recommended. Maybe Gattler had indeed shared some religious peculiarities of his family with his companion and even if he hadn't Jesse had noticed that Razzle tended to know things that the younger Commanders did not.

Of course there couldn't be much of an age difference between Razzle and Lutaz but ... well, somehow Lutaz had never struck Jesse as particularly knowledgeable despite his nicknames. He was a good strategist and quite possibly his medical knowledge was impressive, but Razzle appeared to have a much wider range of knowledge.

-Say Razzle.- Jesse asked as they were getting ready for bed that evening -Do the people here have a different religion from those back on the Warworld?-

Razzle stopped brushing his hair mid-stroke and looked up at him.

-There are no different religions.- He said after a moment. -They were all united into a single whole way back in the fourth millennium. The council of Thanket 3165, to be exact.-

-Thanket?- Jatt interrupted him promptly. -Who the heck is Thanket?-

-Where the heck.- Razzle corrected him unimpressed. -It was a city. Well, just a settlement by our modern standards, but back then it was one of the biggest cities back on the home-world. It was chosen as the seat of the council because it wasn't home to one of the mayor shrines of its time. The inhabitants were mostly followers of the then rather new and unimportant cult of Sze, which is probably the only reason that it was included in the final list and has survived to this day.-

-So how come these guys, at least according to Cirke, have a mayor god that Lutaz has never heard of.- Jesse asked hastily before anyone could drag the conversation even deeper into ancient history.

-Lack of religious knowledge on Lutazsz part I'd guess.- Razzle said calmly. -How many gods are there, Lutaz?-

-Lots.- Lutaz answered lightly. -More than any single person needs anyway.-

-25.- Kieste supplied.

-Did I ask you, wise-guy?- Razzle snapped at him.

-No, but I happen to know.-

-And I happen to know that you know because I happen to have told you. I asked Lutaz.-

Kieste grinned, sat on the bed beside Razzle and leaned his head against his Commander's shoulder affectionately.

-Lutaz doesn't know.- He pointed out.

Kieste was, if that was even possible, even more impervious to Razzle's insults than Gattler Jesse had noticed.

-And Lutaz doesn't care.- Lutaz added. -So there.-

-Jesse cares, though.- Jesse said. -Cirke says there's a god called Cir that's hugely important and can't believe Lutaz and I don't know him. Should we then?-

-It'd be useful.- Razzle said. -And interesting. But then I have found all sorts of things useful and interesting that the majority of the old blood are living in happy ignorance of.-

-I don't see how that stupid weather god is at all useful.- Lutaz snarled while Jatt just glared at Razzle.

-So.- Jesse prompted ignoring them both. -Cir the weather god?-

-And the Warworld.- Razzle said lightly. -An artificial planet with mostly mechanically induced weather. Worship of Cir among the old blood died out within a single generation after the destruction of the home-world. He no longer had any relevance to their lives. It is quite alive and well on the colony worlds, especially wherever agriculture plays any economic role. Consequently, yes, Cir is one of the most worshipped gods here on Arthame.-

-So, after that council of yours all Outriders just gave up their religions and took on a new one designed by that council, but there are regional differences in what gods they worship anyway?- Jesse asked.

-Council of Thanket.- Razzle corrected. -It's definitely not mine. Nor did it actually create an entirely new religion. It took all the various religions and cults of the time and consolidated them into a single whole combining similar gods into one until it was left with the list of 25 that we worship today. That list also wasn't accepted overnight. The council was followed by another roughly 2000 years of religious wars before the union was really achieved. And there still are some fundamentalist sects left in Mijak. Not here, though. Arthame was settled by ... well, with an entirely different bundle of problems. Any religious differences you notice here are entirely due to the different life situation. People's lives here mainly focus on growing and selling fruits, so they worship Uth and Cir. The Warworld exists to make war so people there worship Itz, Kith and Zzr. There are a lot of sick here, so people worship Mol. On the Warworld people were living in constant fear that they would not find a new home so they worshipped Par.- Razzle grinned. -I predict a reduction of Par worship and coinciding resurgence of Cir worship among the old blood over the next two generations.-

-So you're serving Arz now?- Lutaz asked. -I thought it was Kie or Raz. Make up your mind, will you.-

Razzle laughed. -I serve them all more or less, but as for current favourites it's Ler or Ark and yes, Kie. I do like Kie.-

-You're named for Raz.- Jatt pointed out.

-That wasn't my choice.- Razzle said. -And it's only verbal not literal. Personally I consider Raz a rather overvalued god.-

Gasps all around.

-Not that I consider him worthless, mind you, but too many on the Warworld hold him too high above Kie. Those two always ought to be in balance.-

-Funny thing for a soldier to say.- Jatt challenged.

-Not at all. Or at least they wouldn't have been at all surprised in the Merazothon Empire.- Razzle lectured. -Do you know which three gods the Merazothon army sacrificed to?-

-Itz, Zzr and Raz?- Jatt offered.

-Raz, Kie and Nez.- Razzle said. -Think it over. I promise that it makes sense. A lot of sense.-

Jesse sighed. As far as he was concerned the conversation had stopped making sense a long time ago.

-Any chance I could get a translation?- He asked.

-If you tell me what you need translated.- Razzle offered.

Right. Jesse cast back his mind while he dug out pen and paper and took them over to sit on Razzle's bed as well. Razzle watched this with mild curiosity and made no move to stop the invasion of his territory. Kieste didn't react at all.

-First you mentioned a cult of Sze.- Jesse said writing that down.

Razzle glanced at his paper and drew his head back in surprise. -Not that Sze. The other one.-

-Other Sze? There are two of them?- He should have known that religion would be complicated.

-Not S Z E. There's another way to spell Sze.-

Oh that again! Jesse burst out laughing.

Razzle regarded him curiously. -What's so funny?-

-Oh nothing. You'd understand if you'd heard the discussions Jean Claude and I had over having a letter for sze and individual ones for s, z and e as well, back when he was teaching me to write.-

-What's there to be discussed? Long before the council of Thanket.- Razzle said. -Before the written word and with it the letters s, z and e, were even invented our ancestors used symbols to identify the gods. Those symbols turned into letters in time and are thus the very oldest in our modern alphabet. They are considered the very beginning of written communication. There used to be a lot more of them, of course, but after the council of Thanket the rest were abolished and so only those of our current gods remain.-

Lutaz's head shot up. Jatt stared at Razzle open-mouthed, even Azpet made a surprised squeak. Heads turned. Kieste laughed.

-Do you know what the names of the 25 gods are, Jesse?- Razzle asked calmly as if nothing at all had happened.

-Yes.- Jesse said. -Yes, I do.- And how to spell them, too. Jean Claude had taught him the Outrider alphabet after all. -But why didn't Jean Claude just tell me so? It would have been so much easier to understand.-

-Perhaps.- Razzle purred. -He didn't know. That's what I meant about the balance of Raz and Kie. The same is true for Itz and Ark.-

-Itz and Ark?- Jesse asked feeling hopelessly lost again.

-War and Knowledge.- Razzle supplied. -When I was at the Academy it had a wing for each, and while few people actually still did, it was possible to move between the two and get a little of both. Now the Academy is entirely dedicated to Itz and even the science academy's courses have been reduced to those that serve war. Hardly anybody remembers such things as history or literature anymore.-

-They're utterly irrelevant.- Jatt spat. -What are you, a soldier or some dusty little bookworm?-

Razzle turned and fixed Jatt with a cold hard stare.

-I'm both. What are you?-

-A proper soldier, not some hazy little neither-nor like you!- Jatt snapped.

This time Kieste laughed so hard he fell off the bed and Jesse too couldn't hold back a giggle.

Razzle glanced from Kieste on his left to Jesse on his right and then back to Jatt.

-I graduated from officers training long before you were even born. I fought in more battles than I care to count to earn my rank. What exactly are you trying to say temporary Subcommander Jatt? Because all I hear is that you are an uneducated, untried little boy with delusions of grandeur, another of the hundreds of great future Commanders I met at the Academy. Do you know how many of the boys I heard say they'd be Commanders back then actually made it?-

-How should I know who went to school with you?-

-I thought your father might have told you enough to base an estimate on.-

-Three?- Kieste ventured.

-Oh come on.- Jatt scoffed. -There must have been more in a decade's worth of students.-

-Two.- Said Razzle. -I didn't ask how many people who were at the Academy while I was became Commanders, I asked how many of those that I heard say they would did. Most of those were people I had classes with, of course, since I saw the most of them. Then there's a good number of other students that were in my year, because I shared a dorm with them for all the time they spent at the Academy. Accordingly those a year above and below me form the third biggest group and it gets smaller with every additional year of age difference. At five years distance I didn't hear them talk much at all.-

-And out of those three years you knew best.- Kieste said. -I know three made it to Commander.-

-But one of them was me and I sure as hell never told anyone I would.- Razzle countered. - Which leaves the great total of two: Istar and Amiss. I thought Istarsz son might know that much, but you know nothing Jatt, don't you? Absolutely nothing.-

-I'm a fully trained Cat-Of-War!-

-And that's the sum of your ambitions? To be your Afrasz son? Granted, it'd be more than enough for many these days so who cares what the Merazothon soldiers would have thought of you.-

-Perhaps you were born in the wrong century then.- Jatt suggested, but Jesse knew him well enough to tell when he was embarrassed even though his skin colour didn't show a blush easily.

-I expect I would have been more comfortable.- Razzle allowed. -But a soldier does not seek comfort and someone has to carry Arksz lantern through this dark age. Sometimes it is a damned thankless task, though.- Then he turned back to Jesse who was still sitting there paper hopefully in hand. -And sometimes it isn't, but I do believe we'd better do this tomorrow when there are no little boys here to interrupt us.-


	12. Chapter 11: Gods, Gods, Gods

Disclaimer 1: This is fanfic. That means I do not own any of it. I just borrow it to play with for a little while and let people see the pathetic results if they really want to.

Disclaimer 2: I'm not making any money from it. It's just for fun.

Disclaimer 3: What isn't borrowed is all made up. None of this is real or most likely at all realistic. Please don't trust any of the information in here. Most likely you know more about whatever I'm writing about than I do.

Disclaimer 4: Attitudes, views and opinions expressed by the characters or in the story are not necessarily those of the author. Even when writing Science Fiction or Fantasy I do not tend to attempt to create perfect/better worlds in which everybody gets a happy end ... or whatever is best for them. Please accept that some characters will have a bad ending or be unhappy.

Disclaimer 5: I intend no insult to anyone. If I offend anyone I'm very sorry. Please understand that it was an accident as I tend to be very clumsy in these things.

Chapter 11: Gods, Gods, Gods

-You know what?- Cirke declared once again appearing unexpectedly. -You can take me to town. I'll show you Cir.-

-Oh, I can?- Jesse said hopping out of the Badlander and giving it a quick glance to make sure he'd landed it straight. -How gracious.-

-Oh, come on. I know you want to see it. I heard that you asked Commander Razzle.-

-And he answered me. What is it to you?-

-Well, I'm going to Cirsz temple to ask for good weather for the goluth harvest. I need someone to take me there and with the occupation and checkpoints and rebels in the forests Aunty said I'd better ask you to let me ride in one of your planes. It'll be faster and safer, she said.-

-True.- Jesse agreed.

-And you've never been to a temple of Cir, right?-

-Yes, so?-

-So you can fly me there yourself and I'll show you the temple.-

Jesse laughed. -Very well, but not today. After lunch tomorrow.-

Cirke beamed at him. -That's fine.-

-And you've got to explain some things to me. Razzle told me the names of the gods, but who does what?-

Cirke frowned. -There's lots of them. I don't know them all.-

-There are 25.- Jesse informed her. -And it's enough if you tell me about the ones I've heard people talk about.-

Cirke shrugged, produced two shoteze from behind her back, held one out to Jesse and bit into the other. -Okay, you name 'em. I tell you what they are if I know.-

Jesse accepted the fruit. It was a big one and freshly plucked, probably as a bribe in case he refused to fly her into town. He could have picked his own, of course. Nobody here would have dared to stop him for the sake of a single fruit. But the locals had a lot more experience choosing the best and Cirke was a nimble climber and went much further up the trees in her quest for them than Jesse would have bothered to.

He made himself comfortable under a wing and indicated for her to join him.

-Right then: Who's Sze?-

-Forgiveness.- Cirke said promptly. -She's a nice one, but not very powerful. 'Cept she's real popular in the army and in school. You pray to her if you expect to be punished for something ... or if you've got a long punishment and want it to end early.-

Jesse laughed. Yes, that was probably unofficially the most worshipped god in the Outrider army, especially among those who had to deal with Nemesis directly.

-Itz?- He inquired.

-War.- Cirke replied. -He's really powerful, but awfully nasty. We have to go and sacrifice to him whenever there's a new war, or a big battle coming. And sometimes when we want Gattler to have lots of luck with some operation. I don't like his temple, though. It's all dark and stinky and has really ugly statues. You have to sacrifice meat to him. Aunty says that's why it stinks so much. But his cats are cool. He's got a pair of cat statues flanking his altar, you see. They're this high.- She held up her hand. -And have hugely long fangs.-

-Cats of War.- Jesse recognised. -Like on house Elhessarsz banner.-

-Yes, those. They're scary, but cool scary.-

Jesse nodded in agreement. They were magnificent beasts. -Kith?-

Cirke shrugged. -Dunno. Well, he's survival, but that's all I remember. I've never been to his temple. It must be a special kind of survival, I guess.-

-Fair enough. It's more than I knew before. Zzr?- Jesse asked casually taking another bite of his shotez.

Cirke started, stopped eating and looked at him shaking, her eyes wide and frightened.

-Death.- She whispered. -He's the master of all the gods. The lord of the diamonds. His temple's all glittering and pretty inside with real bright lights reflecting off his diamonds, you know, but you don't want to go there. You only go when somebody's died.-

Death and diamonds? What a strange combination.

-No skulls?- He asked Cirke.

-Skulls? What skulls? Why would there be skulls?-

-They symbolise death among Fleshlings.-

-Weird.- Cirke said. -Who's next? Make it somebody nice.-

Ha, if only he knew who was nice ad who wasn't! He stuck with the order in which he remembered them being mentioned last night instead.

-Mol? Razzle said he's popular around here.-

-Mol's great.- Cirke confirmed. -He's healing. You go to him when you're sick. Got to anyway, because all hospitals are his temples. Mol's Zzrsz natural enemy, but he can't really defeat him, you know. Zzr is the strongest of all. Mol can bargain with him, though and if Zzr isn't that eager to have you, he'll let you live if Mol asks him.-

-Nice.- Jesse commented. -How very hopeful.-

Cirke looked up at him uncomprehendingly, shrugged and returned her attention to her fruit.

-How about Par?- Jesse asked. -He's supposed to be popular on the Warworld.-

-Par?- Cirke scrunched up her nose. -I don't know that name. Auntie Ulnatz ought to know. I'm sure she knows all the gods, but I don't remember everything she's told me about them. Auntie can go on about nothing for hours.-

A pity, Jesse thought remembering Razzle's prediction the night before ... to which Lutaz had reacted by bringing up another god that nobody had explained or mentioned again.

-Aaz?- He prompted Cirke.

-Prophecy. The fickle lady of the candle. She's just a character in made up tales, though. Something people worshipped back before they discovered science.- Ah, just a joke then, and Lutaz had mentioned that Razzle really worshipped ... Hold on!

-What's this thing about people worshipping or not worshipping particular gods? Do you pick and choose which ones you believe in and disbelieve the rest?-

-What? No! Of course I believe in all of them!- Cirke exclaimed. -But there are some you need more than others and everybody has a favourite. Those are the ones whose temples you go to and who you pray to.-

-And your favourite is Cir.-

-Yes, I'm named for him, so I have his particular blessing. So how could I not favour him?-

That reminded Jesse of something else. -Jatt said Razzle's named for Raz, but Razzle said that he does not favour him and that it's only verbal not literal. What does that mean?-

-That his name is spelled r, a, z not Raz. The god Raz is spelled Raz. So it sounds like the god, but isn't spelled like him. You do that if you want one child blessed by the god, but don't want to be forced to give that same blessing to all your children. It makes a lot of sense with Raz because he's a soldier's strength and you might want your sons to become strong soldiers, but prefer your daughters to be something else. So you use r, a, z for the boys and can use any r name for the girls.-

A soldier's strength. Did she mean brute physical strength?

-The sort of strength Commander Mohawk has?- He inquired hoping that she knew Mohawk since he was from the same planet.

She nodded. -Yes, exactly that. He's really cool, isn't he? But you don't want to be that heavy when you're picking fruits. You've got to climb for the best fruits and the tree might break under you.-

-Yes, and I can see why Razzle doesn't favour Raz. He doesn't think much of Mohawk as a Commander.- Neither did Jesse to be honest. -A Commander needs to be smart more than strong.-

-How so? He's a soldier. He's got to fight and in a fight the stronger one wins.-

-I can see you've never had any battle training.- Jesse laughed. -I'm stronger than you. Should we go and test your theory in a sword fight?-

-I thought you don't know how to fight.-

-Yes, that's my point. You'd win, because you're more skilled. My strength wouldn't help me much. And when you're a Commander you have soldiers to fight for you. You've got to be smart and know where and how the soldiers should fight, though. Your own strength won't make much of a difference if you put your soldiers in the wrong place and they lose. Razzle's an old hand at that. I suppose Mohawk could beat him in a fistfight, but never army against army.-

Come to think of it, he'd seen the way Razzle dealt with Grammis on a training mat and from what little he'd seen of Mohawk, Grammis might not be the brightest tool in Nemesis' arsenal, but he could still think rings around Mohawk. Besides, Mohawk probably hadn't seen much more of Razzle's fighting style than Jesse had of Mohawk's. If Grammis still fell for Razzle's traps after all these years, did Mohawk stand a chance just because he was heavier than Grammis?

-Most likely he'd just fall even harder.-

-Huh?-

-Nothing, just trying to imagine Razzle and Mohawk sparring. I'm not so sure who'd win on second thought. Razzle's got a lot of skill.-

Cirke nodded wisely. -He is a Commander, too. But what god does he like then? I don't know one for fighting skill.-

-He said his favourite ... Well, that wasn't really clear. He spoke quite highly of several ones. I think the first one was Ler?-

Cirke snorted. -Ler's technology. She's no soldier's god. No way!-

-That makes sense. He's a tech officer. Says it's very useful because they're rare. Then Lutaz suggested Kie and he seemed to agree with that, too.-

This amused Cirke even more.

-Kie's for artists!- She giggled. -Art and wisdom. Can you see Razzle sculpting?-

-No.- Jesse returned unamused. -But he is wise. I can see him worshipping a god of wisdom.-

-Goddess.- Cirke corrected. -Kie's definitely female.-

-But what he said in the end didn't sound like he really favours Kie or Ler. At least from what the Fleshlings taught me of psychology he ... seemed to think he has a mission from a god called Ark?-

Cirke blinked. -A priest's duty? Or a vassal's mission? Or a prophet's vision?-

Jesse shrugged. -How should I tell? What he said was that somebody had to carry Arksz lantern. Does that mean anything to you?-

Cirke shrugged. -The lantern's just Arksz symbol. She's another goddess. Of knowledge. And that's all I know about her. I bet she's for scientists, not soldiers or accountants.-

Knowledge? What the? ... But wasn't that just like Razzle? Ever throwing you another curve-ball, never quite fitting any mould. And when you thought about it ...

-Technology is a field of science, isn't it? Our civilian techs come from the science academy in any case. Maybe he just adopted Ark along with Ler.-

She certainly ought to go well with Kie's wisdom aspect, Jesse thought.

-Still odd for a soldier.-

Yes, but Razzle hadn't called them soldiers' gods, had he? In fact hadn't he told Jatt of another three that supposedly made a lot of sense for soldiers? Raz, strength, Kie, probably once again in the aspect of wisdom and not art and ...

-Nez?-

-Loyalty.- Said Cirke. -Not one you hear of much either. Though everybody's been talking about him lately. Him and Tar. I don't like them. They're ... enemies somehow, but I don't think either of them is a nice god. I don't want to know them.-

-Just tell me what Tar stands for and we're done.- Jesse promised.

But Cirke shook her head looking distressed and confused.

-I don't know. It's really strange. I know he's somehow terribly bad, but they also say he's the great protector and the god of the ancestors and that we have his blessing. Afrar said he was calling to Gattler, that he always had been or why else would people call him the Wolf. Gattler didn't like it at all when he said that. He flew off and was really odd afterwards. And then he told Afrar he'd follow the call for Nezsz sake, but never Tarsz. And I think he cried after he said that.-

Jesse stared at her. This clearly was a case for Razzle. Not just because of the god Cirke could not explain, but even more because of Gattler's odd behaviour. If anybody would be able to interpret that it was Razzle.

Jesse found Razzle bent over the map of the planet on which they had marked all enemy sightings. It wasn't surprising. Jesse himself had spent quite some time here this very morning trying to make out the pattern.

-Find anything, yet?-

-I think there must be something in this area. Some structure that isn't on the map.-

-Something Gattler told you about?- Jesse suggested.

Razzle shook his head. -No, but there's no reason he would have. It's on Goura territory after all. If he knew of it before this, then only in passing. They are using the place now, though. Maybe it's their headquarters, or a vehicle base, or maybe ammunition store. They'll hardly be hoarding food when they can just pluck it off the trees almost everywhere they go. If only we knew the exact location it would be an excellent place to strike at them.-

-Perhaps the locals can tell us?- Jesse suggested. -Cirke wants me to fly her to Cirsz temple tomorrow. She was quite happy to answer my questions about the gods in exchange.-

-So you don't need me to explain then?- It was said lightly, even though he had seemed almost eager the day before.

Did it matter to him? -Nez and Tar?- Jesse prompted. -What is the latter and are they somehow connected? Cirke says people have been talking about them a lot lately and that Nez is loyalty, but all she can tell about Tar is that he's somehow bad or maybe not. I can't really make anything of that information.-

Razzle laughed.

-Somehow bad, but maybe not. Funnily enough that's not so far off at all as baby vocabulary goes.-

-So ... he's something like Janus?- The Outriders had to be familiar with that old Fleshling god somehow since they had nicknamed Jean Claude that.

-No.- Razzle said. -It is a matter of perspectives rather than a characteristic of the god himself. Tar ... started out as a god of justice a very long time ago.-

-Justice?- Jesse asked. -Loyalty and justice? That doesn't make sense. Do you mean revenge?-

-No, I said justice and I meant justice, but I also said a very long time ago. He was a kind and helpful god and after a while he became the protector of the weakest members of society: The sick, the cripples, the poor, the serfs ... and the outcasts. That caused him to drift from a god of criminal justice to one of social justice. In times of oppression or economic trouble the poor would call on him and if their poverty or the oppression grew too unbearable they would revolt. And thus Tar became what he is today: The god of rebels, criminals and traitors. But he also still remains the god of the serfs and poor.-

-Serfs? What are serfs? And what could this have to do with Gattler?-

-Slow down. I can only answer one question at a time. As for Nez and Tar I think you can see how they indeed are a pair now: Loyalty and treason. But they are also very relevant in our current political situation as the gods of loyalty, both to Nemesis and our Afrare, and rebellion. In fact they might have more to do with civil wars than Itz does.-

-So Nez ... What's his stand on what I've done, choosing to follow Nemesis over my clan?-

Razzle smiled bitterly. -He doesn't give an answer to that. You have honoured him by remaining loyal to Nemesis, of course, and dishonoured both him and yourself by disobeying Afrar Hiretz. You ought to have been loyal to both and the fact that that is impossible ... well, that's your problem. There are scores of ancient ballads on the topic, though. Usually they end tragically.-

-Just wonderful.- Jesse said rolling his eyes.

Razzle shrugged. -Pick a different god. With your history Nez doesn't suit you anyway.-

-You think Tar does?-

Another shrug. -I used to feel sure of it. That's one of the reasons I called you Puppy.-

-Excuse me. What?-

-The wolf is the symbol of Tar.- Razzle grinned. -And you might have noticed by now that we do not keep canines as pets. A puppy is the young of a wolf or wild dog.-

Jesse blinked trying to assimilate that. So all the time Razzle had been ridiculing and annoying him he'd still been calling him a ... What exactly was a wolf in the Outriders' eyes?

-You call Gattler the Old Wolf.- He prompted.

-Yes, and there's a connection between him and Tar right there. The wolf is a warrior for his pack and protects his fellows. Moreover the Uthene rose from serfs to nobles not so long ago. Tar is the god of their ancestors and he has done well by them. I thought it a fitting name then before I ever dreamed of a rebellion like this. I never meant to call Gattler treacherous.-

Serfs again. -So what are serfs then and how do you go from serf to noble?-

Razzle regarded him thoughtfully for a moment. -How well do you understand the structure of our society?-

Jesse shrugged. -There are nobles and commoners. Some clans have both, some only commoners.-

-Cute.- Razzle commented.

So it probably was very basic. Oh well.

-So tell me.-

-Mostly the noble clans own the land. There are exceptions like you saw on Ishara, but we can ignore those right now. There aren't any on this world. Arthame has only two continents. One belongs entirely to Uthen, the other to Goura. Both are noble clans. They, as you observed, have nobles and commoners. Belonging to a noble clan gives a commoner a much higher status than the other kinds of commoners, even though he is merely a servant in his own clan. Then you have other clans that live on a noble clan's land without being part of it.-

-I saw those when we went shopping on Varen.- Jesse agreed. -They run shops.-

-Those were probably vassal clans.- Razzle said. -That's the most common thing now. Vassal clans have some kind of contract with the clan that owns the land they live and work on. Usually they owe a fixed rent or a percentage of their earnings and some services or goods. Sometimes only services, but that is rare. As long as they fulfil the contract they are free to do whatever they want ... within the bounds of the law, of course.-

Jesse nodded. -The ones on Varen probably owed a percentage. At least, we paid for their goods and didn't just take what we wanted.-

-Probably.- Razzle agreed. -It is more common to demand goods in the agricultural area, but not here on Arthame. There are few vassal clans here, though the people in town might be. I expect you have noticed the harvest workers in the orchards?-

-Of course.- Very small and sickly looking men and children mostly. They hardly ever looked up from their work.

-They are serfs. They live on the noble clan's land and pay for that by their work. All their work. They are not allowed to do anything without the noble clan's direct permission. The noble clan of course has an interest in keeping them alive, so they keep them fed, clothed and housed, but they aren't even obliged to do that.-

Jesse stared at Razzle. -Why do they put up with that?-

-They don't have a choice.- Razzle replied calmly.

-No choice? Why not?-

-They need to eat and they don't have any money to buy food.-

-So why don't they get jobs to earn money?-

-Because they have to work for free while they live on the noble clan's land unless they get permission to work for money. Of course that is against the noble clan's interest so the permission is not likely to be given. And they cannot move off the noble clan's land without permission either.-

Jesse opened his mouth to reply, then closed it again. "Slaves."

-No, slaves can be sold, serfs can not. If you have more than you can afford or want you give the surplus permission to leave, or even to take up paid work during times you don't need them. Of course once they have some money they start going on strike for proper wages and that's how the social order of serfs has gradually disappeared on most worlds. With the infant mortality being what it is here, though and the climate allowing fruit harvesting all though the year ...-

-There are slaves in Outrider society as well, though?-

-Yes, there are some, but they too are very rare. Usually they are prisoners of war, not actual Outriders.-

Jesse nodded only slightly reassured. -The serfs are Outriders, though.-

-Yes, but they only exist on a few worlds anymore and on most of those they are considered quite unusual as well, a hangover from a different age.-

-But very common on Arhame.- Jesse stated. -Why?-

Razzle sighed, walked over to the window and stared outside at the beautiful tropical garden.

-As colonies go Arthame is rather young, but it pre-dates the destruction of the home-world. It was settled during the last big expansion wave when those wanting to settle had a lot of options. Arthame is a beautiful world of course and it was immediately obvious that there was a lot of money to be made out of the fertile ground. The orchards are work intensive, though and then there was a lot of construction to be done in the initial phase and it soon became apparent that it is an unhealthy world. Many of the initial settlers died and the two noble clans that survived and established themselves as the sole landowners of the colony were unable to replace them with a sufficient number of new settlers.-

-Uthen and Goura.- Jesse stated.

-Scema and Goura.- Razzle corrected with a smirk. -Uthen hadn't even arrived yet.-

-So what became of Scema? I've never heard of them before.-

-They died out. Just like ... But I am getting ahead of myself. Arthame needed settlers and there weren't any coming voluntarily, so they turned it into a prison colony. Prisoners that would normally have been sentenced to death ... yes, we still had a lot of death sentences back then ... were given the option to settle here as serfs. They were mostly pirates whose only homes had been their ships, so for some of them it may even have meant improved living conditions. It certainly was an improvement over certain death and back then serfs weren't that unusual. It was seen as quite a kindness, even though it cost them and all their descendants their freedom.-

-And so they are still getting punished for the crimes of their distant ancestors with no way out ever.-

Razzle hesitated. -The sentence should have ensured no way out ever, yes, but times change. I doubt there will still be serfs in a thousand years. ... But of course it is also possible that most of the population will be serfs by then. The distant future is a hard thing to predict. Right now there are still laws to prevent the serfs of Arthame to rise from their lowly status, but they haven't been enforced in a long time.-

-But the serfs are still required and there are too few of them.-

-Unless something else is still more urgently required.- Razzle grinned. -When the Scemae got so few they could no longer control their land and business they raised some of the serfs to overseeing and management duties. The fewer the Scemae became the higher the most favoured serfs rose and eventually the most favoured clan inherited the land and eventually gained noble status.-

-Hold on. The Uthene ...-

-Rose from serfs to nobles. Everybody knows that they are descendants of pirates of course and you will probably notice some slurs based on that, but they are well established enough to be accepted.-

-Their money doesn't hurt that, does it?- Jesse snorted.

Razzle didn't seem to think that required a reply.

Cirke was quite excited about the ride in the Badlander once they had taken off, climbing all over the cockpit and staring out at the landscape below.

-Haven't you ever flown before?- Jesse asked her not quite sure whether he was more annoyed or amused by her behaviour.

-Never this fast.-

-This fast?- Amused, he decided, very amused. -This isn't fast. This is barely moving.-

-Go faster then.- She demanded. -Show me the fastest you can go.-

-I can't.- Jesse told her with a smirk. -You're not dressed for it. You can only do that when everybody on-board is wearing proper armour, helmet and all.-

Cirke had put on shoes and a tunic for the occasion, but as far as Jesse was concerned she still looked half-naked and her clothes certainly wouldn't offer any protection against the g-forces she'd be exposed to if he accelerated the Badlander up to escape velocity.

-Don't you have a spare you could lend me?- She wheedled.

-No, but it would be safe to go a little faster, if you were to sit down and make use of the seat-belt.-

Cirke eyed the second seat with distaste.

-It doesn't offer much of a view.-

-It's not meant to. It's really only there for emergencies. The Badlander was never intended to carry passengers.-

The seat was small and very boxed in, an afterthought of the designers, but Cirke was small enough that that shouldn't bother her. An adult Outrider would have found it very uncomfortable, though.

-It's safe, though.- He told her. -If I went faster than this you'd be thrown into the walls whenever I break or turn. The seat belt is there to prevent that.-

-Being thrown into walls sounds like fun.- She declared.

-Only if you think broken bones are funny. This isn't a padded playroom.- He'd watched his younger siblings bounce around in one of those during his last visit on Varen. -This is ...- He cast about for an analogy she'd understand. -Like falling out of a tree.- She must have done that a time or two considering how often she climbed after fruits. -And landing on a rock. So if you really want to visit Cirsz temple and not Molsz ...-

-Actually we've got to go to the hospital first anyway.- Cirke said.

-Whatever for? Are you sick?- She looked perfectly fine.

-Of course not. I'm strong. We're going to the hospital to get stomach medicine for Cir.-

What the?

-Why does Cir need stomach medicine?-

-Why, so we don't get a thunderstorm during the harvest. Don't you know that thunder is Cirsz upset stomach rumbling?-

Jesse had to circle in the air until his laughing fit was over. He couldn't possibly have landed safely in this state.

The hospital was the biggest building in the pathetic little village that claimed to be a town. Nonetheless it appeared to be overrun with patients and under-staffed. It stank of sickness and rang with moans and screams. Jesse considered turning on his heel and waiting for Cirke outside. There was a bar down the mud-path they called a main street.

A drink would have been just what he needed.

A drink was the one thing he was absolutely not allowed to get. A drink was also supposed to make the medicine knock him out, though that still needed testing. Testing it right now would be a bad idea, though, because if the medicine really worked, Cirke would be left to fend for herself until he woke up and he had no idea how long that was supposed to take. Not to mention that it might land him in this hospital and he much preferred the med bay on the Warworld.

He could of course visit the local occupation troops instead. They were Razzle's men, dropped here with a huge tank that dominated the market place, but they'd probably answer politely enough as long as he didn't bark any orders at them that contradicted their own Commander's.

At least he thought they would. He didn't know them after all. They might be every bit as prickly and unobliging to strangers as Razzle himself.

Who had it been that had compared Razzle to a hedgehog once? It was a surprisingly apt comparison. Touch it and it's all sharp, prickly spines. Leave it be and all of a sudden it will poke out a tender little nose and might even come over to sniff you curiously. Hedgehog would make a much better nickname for Razzle than Bastard or even One Eye. At least Jesse didn't think he'd take offence.

But that wouldn't help Jesse make friends with Razzle's soldiers and if the attempt went badly and Jesse had to establish his authority by force Razzle just might take offence.

Besides he was here with a little girl. He couldn't leave Cirke to face this horrible hospital by herself.

Cirke however seemed remarkably undaunted by the horrors of the place. She strode in as if she knew exactly where she was going. Apparently she'd been here before.

Jesse followed her lead. There were beds set up in almost every corridor. Mostly for patients just here to get infusions it seemed.

Hold on! He was looking at things from his Fleshling background again. They weren't here just to get infusions. Outriders hardly ever used infusions. They preferred dispenser bracelets, like the one Jesse himself was wearing, if they couldn't just swallow their medicine. The only Outrider he'd ever seen get an infusion before had been Gattler when he'd had another bout of whatever his chronic illness actually was. Moku had once told him that they were strong antibiotics that had to be given at a dose that a bracelet simply couldn't hold.

Moku had also insisted on giving Jesse the vaccine for that very disease before he came here. Could it be that all these patients were suffering from the very same thing Gattler had? And if so were they deliberately treated outside the actual rooms or were there more of them inside? How prevailing was that thing?

-What are you doing in here? Do you want to catch something?- A nurse snapped at Cirke.

-I need stomach medicine for Cir!- Cirke demanded unimpressed. -I won't catch anything. I'm strong.-

The nurse snorted, but took them to a storage room and sold them the medicine. He never said anything directly to Jesse, just kept shooting nervous glances at him. Jesse in turn didn't bother to explain his presence. Let him think what he would.

Jean Claude had once told him of a disease that matched what little they knew about Gattler's condition. Apparently it was both highly contagious to babies and hereditary as far as Jesse had been able to figure it out. Neither of them knew much of medicine so most likely Jean Claude hadn't fully understood it entirely in the first place, but Jesse still tried to recall the information as well as he could and match it to what he had seen here.

The illness affected babies and children in any case and most of them died. Most of the patients here were adults, though. Surely there couldn't be that many adults being treated for something that killed most of those affected as children?

You also wouldn't want sick adults to reproduce, because not only would most of their babies die, they'd also infect the other babies of the clan. Whole clans had died out that way Jean Claude had said.

The Uthene seemed very eager for Gattler to reproduce, though. The Uthene seemed very eager for everybody to reproduce, and all their women were pregnant, yet there were very few children in the clan, not nearly as many as the Arteze had had when Jesse had visited Varen - or even the Elhessare despite the reproductive restrictions the old blood had been under on the Warworld.

And all of Gattler's children so far had died.

Perhaps they were treating the adults in the corridors because the proper sickrooms were full of dying children?

Jesse sped up his steps -Come on. let's get to the temple. There's nothing interesting to see here.-

The temple was a strange cage-like dome with a huge hole in its centre which confused Jesse at first glance. Then he remembered that Cir was a weather god after all and probably required sun and rain to fall on his altar and the wind to blow through his walls, though ...

-Why does he have a temple at all? Wouldn't a weather god be happier right outside in the weather?- he asked Cirke.

The girl stopped and frowned at him.

-I don't know.- She admitted finally. -He just has a temple so I suppose he must want it. Our ancestors wouldn't have built one if he didn't, would they?-

Jesse shrugged. -How should I know what your ancestors would do or not?-

-They were not my ancestors.- She snapped. -Not Uthene at all. The temple is much older than our house.-

-You're not related to your predecessor house then?- Jesse asked. This was getting really interesting. -Via marrying one of their daughters perhaps?-

-No, I doubt they would have. We ... were not noble then after all.-

-So how come you inherited their land? Shouldn't it have gone to a related house instead?-

Cirke shrugged. -I don't know. Why should it? We got it in any case and it's ancient history.-

Right, more questions to ask Razzle. At least he knew someone who knew his 'ancient history'. In fact, maybe he ought to ask Razzle what actually qualified as ancient as well. He had a feeling Razzle knew the official definition of the word while Cirke probably had no idea.

-Lead on then.- He invited the girl.

The temple didn't seem to have a proper door or main entrance. Cirke just slipped through the first opening they reached and Jesse followed her and was surprised. While the cage itself was simple undecorated black stone the floor was quite colourful, made up of irregularly shaped stones of various colours that were interlaced in a complicated pattern so that there were no sharp edges, corners or straight lines. It looked like a wall of clouds of different colours bunched together, some the normal fluffy white seen in good weather, some the grey that promised an approaching storm, some the reds and pinks seen only at sunset or sunrise and some a bright yellow or sky blue that was ... well, certainly not of this world or any other Jesse had ever seen, but perhaps they had occurred on the long gone home-world or belonged to some far distant colony. There were so many worlds he had never visited.

-Now we must make sure to step on yellow clouds as much as possible and not at all on grey ones, because we want good weather for the harvest. If we had a drought and wanted rain, we'd have to walk on grey and white clouds and avoid the yellow and blue ones.- Cirke explained and led him to the centre on a very circuitous route that required several more or less wide jumps.

-No mission for the elderly or crippled, I see.- Jesse commented, though he could have proposed several much easier alternative routes.

-I like it.- Said Cirke. -It's fun.-

In the centre was a cloud-shaped basin in which dirty rain-water collected in and outside of various jars some of which resembled the one Cirke was carrying while others were of very different makes and shapes. Cirke ignored them.

-This is the altar.- She said with no hint of reverence in her tone.

Neither did she bow or kneel, but simply took a bottle of disinfectant and a piece of cloth out of the little bag she was carrying and started to rub disinfectant onto one of the metal spikes that rose from the ground around the rim of the filthy basin at intervals of about one ota.

Jesse watched this ritual observance with some confusion.

-Why are you doing that?-

-Why because one can catch all sorts of diseases from somebody else's blood. Don't you know that?-

-I do, but what does that have to do with the weather?-

-Nothing.- Said Cirke, thrust cloth and bottle into his hands and then matter of factly drew her palm over the sharp tip of the spike pressing down hard enough to cut it. Then she held it over the jar of medicine and let a single drop of blood fall in before balling the hand up to a fist and looking at Jesse expectantly. -Your turn.-

Jesse looked at the spike with some disgust. Damn Razzle. He could have warned him. Well, at least Cirke had thought to provide him with disinfectant.

-Are you sure we should put blood in Cirsz medicine, though?- He ventured while he cleaned Cirke's blood off the spike. -Considering how he could catch something from us?-

-He's a god.- Cirke pointed out. -He doesn't get sick.-

-Except to the stomach?-

Cutting his palm hurt and probably would continue to do so whenever he moved his hand for the next few days. What a stupid practise!

Cirke held out the jar to him and he obediently added his drop of blood to it.

She nodded with satisfaction, sat the jar down into the filthy water and then started rummaging in her bag again until she found two bandages that were already conveniently shaped like fingerless gloves. She handed Jesse the bigger one, but then had to readjust it.

-Why didn't you use your left hand?- She asked. -Razzle said you like the right one much better, so I thought you'd want to save it.-

Had that been a faux pas? He hadn't wanted her to see the glyph and ask about it.

-I didn't want to bother with taking off the glove.- He improvised. -It would have been a little awkward with this stuff in my hands.-

Cirke promptly reclaimed the bottle of disinfectant and cloth and stuffed them back into her bag.

-Right. Why do you wear a single glove anyway?-

He shrugged. -I like the way it looks.- He lied. -And it can be useful with some kinds of equipment. Are we done here, then?-

-Almost. We just have to remember to walk on yellow clouds on the way out again.- Cirke declared and made a long leap to the next one.

They strolled through the village, Cirke quite excited to see the goods on display in the few little shop windows and Jesse secretly amused to see just how pathetic the place really was. What a change it must have been for Gattler when he'd first arrived on the Warworld with its endless sea of tall, spire-like metal houses, cooler artificial climate and meals made of preserved fruits.

Even here there were fruit trees at almost every corner. The serfs might be poor and unable to change their lot, but they certainly didn't have to fear ever having to go hungry.

The tank crew at the end of the main street saluted Jesse and waved them past so he decided to take a look inside the building Razzle had requisitioned as the local military base. It seemed always to have served some kind of administrative function, judging by its location and construction probably registration of fruit deliveries and their direction to the appropriate warehouses. Now it monitored traffic in and out of the capital though nothing much was really happening as the officer on duty at the front desk informed Jesse unasked.

-Peasants come in in the morning delivering fruits in large carts, we search them, but it's always just fruits. Shortly before midday everything falls dead silent and nobody shows up in the streets for the next hour or two, then they all come out. The adults gather under the fruit trees behind the bar and start drinking and talking and the kids go down to the creek to splash about and climb trees.- She reported. -At some point a huge truck or two arrive and everybody runs to the warehouses to fill them with fruits and then they roll off to the spaceport and the adults go back to drinking and the kids to splashing. Once it gets a bit cooler again they disappear into their houses again and then we get some smaller carts or people on foot coming in to see the doctors at the hospital. Oh, and sometimes there's cured patients going out to return to their clans. We send people to the bar to listen to the talk, but it's all about the weather and the harvest and the fruits and who's having whose baby and who's going to marry whom. Nobody seems to know a thing about the rebels, nor do they appear to care.-

-Are they all serfs?- Jesse asked her. -Do you know?-

-Mostly, I think.- She replied. -The ones delivering the fruits and working in the warehouses definitely are. I think the doctors are a vassal clan and most of the priests belong to it as well. Don't know about the merchants. They seem to belong to several different clans, though a lot of them live together. Might be that their actual clanhouses are on Gouraland and these shops are just branches. There aren't any children living in that house in any case, nor have I seen a pregnant shopkeeper yet.-

The last was more significant than it might have sounded to a stranger to Arthame since here, too, pretty much every woman they met appeared to be pregnant.

-How's the prison camp coming along?- Jesse asked.

-Could use some more prisoners.- The woman commented. -Watching the prisoners is certainly the most interesting duty we have here, but they are a rather pathetic lot.-

Jesse went to take a look and found the five farm children from Gouraland locked in a walled backyard of the building that had been enforced with barbed wire and some guard posts. The place certainly wasn't too comfortable since it lacked even trees. The kids were accordingly sitting in the shade of the wall entertaining themselves by scratching about in the dust.

Cirke watched the game with a mildly interested expression, but only shrugged when Jesse asked her what it was.

-Maybe just drawing patterns.- She decided. -Or maybe something they play on Gouraland. I've never seen it before. Don't you think we should fly home now before it gets too dark? I don't want to miss dinner.-

-The Badlander has radar and lights for night flights.- Jesse informed her. -And I expect we can get something to eat at the bar or here at the base. The soldiers and prisoners need to eat, too. So if there's anything more you want to see or show me ...-

-No.- Cirke said much to his surprise. -I'm tired.-

She'd seemed so energetic and eager all afternoon that Jesse decided that the sight of imprisoned children must be more frightening to her than she dared to admit and remembering once again that the bar was probably not a safe place for him to go he agreed to take her back to the Uthene complex.


	13. Chapter 12: Feeling Confusions

Disclaimer 1: This is fanfic. That means I do not own any of it. I just borrow it to play with for a little while and let people see the pathetic results if they really want to.

Disclaimer 2: I'm not making any money from it. It's just for fun.

Disclaimer 3: What isn't borrowed is all made up. None of this is real or most likely at all realistic. Please don't trust any of the information in here. Most likely you know more about whatever I'm writing about than I do.

Disclaimer 4: Attitudes, views and opinions expressed by the characters or in the story are not necessarily those of the author. Even when writing Science Fiction or Fantasy I do not tend to attempt to create perfect/better worlds in which everybody gets a happy end ... or whatever is best for them. Please accept that some characters will have a bad ending or be unhappy.

Disclaimer 5: I intend no insult to anyone. If I offend anyone I'm very sorry. Please understand that it was an accident as I tend to be very clumsy in these things.

Chapter 12: Feeling Confusions

The first bait flights had been made while Jesse had been visiting the capital and upon his return he was almost pounced on by Ramszet and Azpet.

-It's working!- Ramszet exulted. -Two of our strikers have been fired at. And it was Azpetsz idea! Can you believe it?-

-Were they hit?- Jesse demanded. -Are the pilots hurt?-

-No.- Azpet reported in a much calmer tone, though grinning from ear to ear. -Both accelerated away safely just as planned and will be able to continue their flights as scheduled. Shouldn't we attack those positions quickly now, though? Surely the rebels will move them as soon as the reports reach their headquarters.-

-Quite likely, but is it wise to attack them? Let me see where they are first.-

As it turned out the locations had already been marked on the map and they weren't at all what Jesse had expected. Both were in the jungle, one surprisingly close to Goura house while the other one was at about the same latitude halfway between Goura house and the coast. Jesse had expected them to be somewhat in line with the storehouse that had been attacked by the stragglers after his battle with Mohawk.

He stood frowning at the map for quite a while.

-I don't see what an attack on either post could gain us in any case.- He commented finally.

-Nothing.- Razzle agreed. -The first is probably a small observation post that's supposed to keep an eye on our activities in Goura house. Since we aren't doing anything other than occupying that it doesn't harm us to leave it there. The other's less obvious, but I expect it to be either another observation post or a mere communications relay. It wouldn't do for headquarters or even a larger concentration of troops. We'll have to see whether we can stir up anything more in the surrounding area, though. If there's an observation post there it's guarding our likely approach vector to something bigger and if it's a communications relay there must be a line of communications running through it. Either way something is around there.-

-With what, though?- Jesse asked. -If Mohawk is all the way up here as we assume, it's too far out of the way for him.-

-One end of the line probably leads to Ettar.- Razzle declared. -He came over from Utheneland possibly heading for Goura house, so it's quite possible that he reached the coast somewhere around here and kept moving in that direction until he heard that the house was already lost and any attempt to reinforce it would be in vain. He stopped and went to ground in a likely location nearby. Then made further dispositions. He probably placed observation posts closer to your line and the relay might serve to collect their reports and pass them on to him. On the other hand Mohawk might actually be somewhere over there and the relay lead to him. In that case the stragglers were utterly lost and cut off, though. It's a possibility if something drove part of Mohawksz troops all the way up there and he recalled them later after making contact with Ettar and Gattler and agreeing to relocate. The stragglers were then lost in the relocation.-

-Possible, but where are they now then? How did Mohawk manage to re-cross my line unobserved?- Jesse asked. -If he moved a substantial number of troops that way somebody ought to have seen and reported something.-

-Somebody might be one of your new incompetents and not have reported, or not have been where he ought to be, yet.- Razzle reminded him. -You found everybody in place the next morning, but we have no proof when exactly they arrived there. Mohawk would have moved either before nightfall or in the dark. He may be stupid, but he doesn't waste time dithering or waiting for opportunities. He makes fast decisions and executes them immediately.-

-So, if Ettar is somewhere around here, and Mohawk here and we have an observation post on the opposite side of Goura house, I guess that one belongs to Gattler and he's somewhere down here which means all his communications with Mohawk have to run through Ettar, yet we know he and Ettar aren't getting on too well.- Jesse diagnosed.

-He might also be up here, closer to your line and have his communications with Ettar run through Mohawk.- Razzle pointed out. -Though in that case their communication lines cross ours with Goura house putting both at risk of being intercepted by the other side. Not that we need to send anything mission critical to Goura house. They seem to assume that we're setting up a command post there. We'll remain here, though.-

-We are a bit far from the battle lines for comfort.- Jesse commented. -Not that I think it'd be at all wise for you to move and certainly not to Goura house. Either Lutatz or I could set up shop somewhere behind my line to be on hand immediately if it should be attacked.-

-And be out of my immediate range requiring more complex and secure communications relays at our end. No, thanks. If they are attacked I assume they'll be smart enough to shoot back and your ship's fast enough to get you there before Jatt or Ramszet.- Razzle paused. -If you're really uncomfortable leaving it in the hands of the wing leaders, though, we could move Azpet to Gouraland.-

-Azpet's not trained for command of any kind, certainly not large scale.- Jesse reminded him.

-No, but he does have the potential, certainly beyond anything Ramszet will ever achieve, nor is he remotely as green as Jatt. I hate to admit it, but he might indeed be the very best you've got. If he had done officer's training I might even be interested in a trade there. As it is though, he'd be dead potential in my troops and I like my tech collection.-

Jesse snorted. -Hoarder. If I still had Urak I'd be fine. He runs circles around Azpet.-

-Urak's a capable and well trained officer.- Razzle said. -But he won't make Commander no matter how much you push him and even if he did, he wouldn't specialise in large scale strategy. He doesn't have that in him.-

-Who's talking about large scale strategists? I'm thinking second in commands.-

-Because that's what you feel that you lack and the other's what I know we all lack, but you're not seeing it yet.- Razzle explained still leaning on the holo table staring at the projection of Gouraland, but apparently seeing something entirely else.-

-Large scale strategists? Excuse me? What are you then? What am I? What's Lutatz?-

-Way past retirement age, one single hope, already retired.- Razzle replied. -And despite still being too young you came much too late. We'd have needed a young strategy talent to show up at least a few years before Kestak died and when Lutatz was still active. Then another should have come up shortly after his death and yes, then you'd have been on time and what I can't teach you before I retire you'd get from those other two. That's how Kestak, Lutatz and I came up, always with four active strategists interacting and the least experienced never forced entirely on his own resources. But Kestak died and Lutatz retired and Kieste remained the best I could find. And Kieste would have made a perfect apprentice for Gattler, but strategist he's no more than Urak.-

-Oh, but I'll do?-

-More than do as an apprentice, but you're not ready to train others yet and where will those others come from? Worse, what if you get killed or forced into retirement before you can find an apprentice? All our knowledge will be lost then. And I don't see any new candidates come up. Azpet has the talent, but not the training and you came from outside our system. Sometimes I worry that Amiss has killed the system that produced me beyond the point of resurrection. Or maybe the talent's been bred out of our race.-

-It hasn't.- Jesse told him. -That much I know for a fact. You say yourself it's there in Azpet and I've seen it in Carszt and possibly Cain as well. ... If you can tell me how I can bring those two to Commander level, I'll undertake to make them strategists.-

-That'll be in your hands either way.- Razzle sighed. -I can't hope to hold on until the completion of the apprenticeship of kids not yet out of the Academy.-

-Cain's not even started yet.- Jesse admitted. -But it's Carszt that needs more help. He has the mind of a strategist, but not the talents of a front line fighter. Can you help me bring him through the ranks until he can actually prove himself?-

-You want to play reflections?- Razzle asked. -Perhaps if it isn't too obvious and I am still around. It'd certainly do him good to serve under both of us if he really has the talent, but perhaps I can actually do more for Cain than you'd think.-

-Play reflections? What's that?- Jesse was vaguely aware of a game somewhat resembling a mixture of pinball and tennis that Outrider children played, but that could hardly be what Razzle was referring to, at least not literally.

-Trading him back and forth between us giving him a career step in each exchange.- Razzle explained. -It'll boost him through the ranks, give him a chance to observe both of us and familiarise himself with both light cavalry and heavy infantry. I probably won't be there to get him all the way to Subcommander and Artez isn't strong enough to start him high as Elhessar did with Jean Claude, so you'll have to pull him up the rest of the way by yourself ... or maybe you can talk Gattler or Point into helping you. Jean Claude too will be in command of a larger body of troops by then. We'll have to wait and see. The last step must come from Nemesis, of course, but he is aware that he needs strategists and will feel my loss, so all you need to do there is make him aware of the boy's talent.-

-That shouldn't be hard. As Subcommander he can be given a chance to demonstrate it. What do you mean to do for Cain, though? She probably won't come out of officers' training in time at all.-

Razzle smiled. -Steer her towards the right Academy courses. I built my career on that alone and optimised the method for my children. She won't need anyone to actively reflect her if she has that, though if you do have a partner for it ...-

-She won't need it as much as Carszt either. She's got the right gifts to prove herself at every level.-

-She'll rise fast then.- Razzle promised.

It was only later that night that Jesse remembered the dangers of making deals with the old blood. This one seemed to be a situation of mutual interest rather than an exchange of unwillingly rendered favours as he'd made with Elhessar, but could he really trust Razzle?

Perhaps that nurse at the hospital had had a point. The day after their excursion Cirke started coughing and even though she only told him not to worry because she was strong when he asked about it, Jesse saw nothing more of her for several days after that.

Whenever he asked the other Uthene about her they merely told him that she was sick.

-She has been sick for almost a week now.- He pointed out one day. -Is it serious?-

-Being sick is always serious.- Tloka, a boy of eight or nine, said. -You die of it.-

-Not always.- Hekte said and sent him off to play.

-But Cirke is seriously ill?- Jesse asked her. -I thought she only had a little cold, but now that it's taking so long.-

-We don't catch a little cold here.- Hekte told him. -Our illnesses tend to be very serious. I don't like to hear children talk about dying, though.-

-I'm not really a child.- Jesse pointed out. -I've seen people die. I've killed people.-

Hekte looked at him perplexedly then shook her head and laughed.

-I keep forgetting your age. When I said children I meant Tloka. You can't deny that he is a child, can you?-

-I don't even want to.- Jesse snapped. -I want to know where Cirke is. I'm worried about her.-

-Do you want to see her?- Hekte offered. -You mustn't excite her, mind you. Or touch her without disinfecting your hands first. Or expect her to talk much. But you can go in and sit with her for a little while. Tell her something boring like that the harvest is coming along nicely.-

It didn't really sound all that appealing, but Jesse couldn't help thinking of Razzle sitting by his bed and telling him of his Academy days to distract him and Jean Claude sitting with him in med bay when he'd been delirious. And all the others that had come to see him ... Surely they, too, could have found more interesting things to do.

It was worth going just for the information that the Uthen house sick-wing was equipped like a proper med bay with several sickrooms and at least in the one that Cirke and two other patients were currently in every bed was equipped for infusions.

-Is this the same illness Gattler has then?- He asked Hekte softly, because Cirke was asleep.

She looked so tiny and haggard lying there, nothing like the lively child he'd gone swimming with.

-Yes and no.- Hekte replied softly. -The underlying chronic condition is the same. It is hereditary. That makes them both more vulnerable to ... serious illnesses of all kinds.-

-She looks a lot sicker than I've ever seen Gattler.- Jesse admitted a little worriedly.

-She is a lot younger and does not have as much weight to lose as he has, so every illness weakens her more quickly. Still she is a strong child. She has made it this far.-

-So that's why all of Gattlersz children died? They inherited the condition and got sick when they were still too small?- Except that Moku had insisted on vaccinations for this hereditary condition. That didn't add up.

-I don't want to wake her. Sleeping does her good.- Hekte said. -But try sitting with her for a while and see if she doesn't wake up on her own.-

She did after about half an hour, but hardly stirred and didn't speak. She looked at Jesse and smiled weakly, but he wasn't sure she even recognised him.

Nevertheless he stayed with her until she fell asleep again. It meant that he had to skip his daily patrol flight, but so be it. The rebels had no way of predicting that after all.

Since he had skipped that flight he took a longer one the next day, though, starting right after the daily strategy meeting with Razzle and Lutatz and checking not only every one of his own troops' posts on Gouraland, but also several of Lutatz's and Razzle's tank crew at Goura house.

The last was apparently keeping busy with all sorts of utterly useless projects, the driver actually going so far as to give tutoring lessons to the local children while their tech officer was attempting to develop improved harvesting equipment much to the amusement of the adults.

The second gunner merely shrugged when Jesse asked him whether they really hadn't seen anything of the rebels.

-We can't well go looking for them in this dense old forest and they don't seem to want to come here.- He pointed out before returning his attention to his sketchpad.

Jesse had to admit that his sketch of the little group surrounding his commanding officer looked quite good so far, but made a mental note to ask Razzle what the hell was up with that crew. None of his soldiers had any such hobbies as far as he was aware.

Lutatz's people gave him some more confidence. None of them seemed to be anywhere near enemy troops, but they were all keeping at least one person watching the perimeter sensor alert screen at all times. Most were also conducting examinations of the local water and one group had even started examining blood samples of the population.

-It's mostly safe to drink.- The one with the largest variety of water samples informed Jesse. -But there is quite a variety of bacteria and microbes here. I wouldn't dare make a statement on your water over on Utheneland based on our findings here.-

Not that Jesse had really expected her to be able to tell whether the river water he'd gone swimming in with Cirke was safe to drink. In the end he was only here to keep the enemy guessing about his route and intentions, but to keep himself entertained he told the med officer about the almost constant itching of his hands and feet that he attributed to the climate.

The med officer took samples of Jesse's blood ... sometimes that horrid bracelet did come in handy ... and skin and promised to analyse them and send Jesse word via Lutatz.

-The climate here isn't dry enough.- He opined. -Unless Fleshling skin is more sensitive to that than ours. More likely it's an allergic reaction, though. Several of our people appear to have trouble with one or another local plant.-

-It's not really giving me any trouble.- Jesse assured him. -It's mildly uncomfortable at best.-

The med officer nodded. -Do tell Commander Lutatz if it gets any worse, though. Sometimes the cumulative effect can get dangerous over time. That's why it's best to identify the exact cause if we can.-

As for his own troops the main problem currently appeared to be in equipment maintenance. An unusually large number of planes was down awaiting repairs and the other machinery wasn't doing too well either.

-It's all this rain and dew and whatnot.- Nisse reported. -It gets into everything and while we can mostly pour it out the weather's too wet to properly dry anything. Even the towels are already damp before we use them. The techs are doing their best, but they can only repair so many machines a day and some of their spare parts get too wet as well.-

Jesse wondered whether he should have equipped his troops for an expedition on a water world rather than forests, but of course it was too late now. Razzle certainly hadn't thought of it in the planning and Jesse, while very experienced with hot as well as cold climates had never spent much time in a humid one before. Yuma, like many New Frontier worlds, was extremely dry.

-I'll see what I can do about getting some more techs.- He promised Nisse. -Maybe Razzle or Lutatz has some underworked ones we can borrow.-

-Unlikely.- Nisse remarked. -They must be facing the same problem as we.-

-Maybe.- Jesse allowed. -Or maybe not. They have tech officers to ensure proper maintenance and reduce the workload of the techs. It can't hurt to ask in any case.-

He meant to ask them as soon as he returned to Uthene house, but then something felt wrong the moment he got out of his plane. He looked around, but the landing place outside the complex was as quiet as always. There were birds singing in the trees, lizards sunning themselves or hunting on the rocks, insects chirping and humming along as always, but something was still off.

He double-checked the tree-line for any sign of danger. This was where an enemy could sneak up unseen, but then he would have disturbed the animals there and there was no off-note in the bird-songs that he could detect.

The most unusual thing he could find was Razzle sitting in the shade by the entrance. Not that there was anything odd about Razzle sitting in the shade considering the temperature, but usually he preferred a more out of the way place, like the garden or somewhere around his tank. Still, Razzle was free to sit wherever Razzle liked to sit. It wasn't like he'd do Jesse any harm by sitting.

Jesse shrugged and headed for the door, but as he approached Razzle got up.

-Jesse?- Jesse stopped. -Something wrong?-

-Cirke's dead.-

Jesse stood about two steps away from the door and suddenly couldn't remember where he'd been going or why. The words didn't make sense.

-She died not quite an hour ago.- Razzle continued after a moment. -I thought you should know before you go in. It's a terrible loss to the clan. They expected her to live.-

-But ... she had that same thing Gattler does.- Jesse wasn't sure why he'd said it himself. He must have been thinking it, he supposed, but he hadn't been aware of it.

-They all do.- Razzle stated softly. -Everybody in the whole fucking clan.-

-But Gattler never ...- Never what? Died? Of course he'd never died. Else he would be dead. What was he thinking?

-He could die of it.- Razzle said. -Every time he's been sick? He could have died. It's unlikely for an adult with the condition known and the proper medication available, but it does happen sometimes. Cirke was still a child, though. She'd made it so long that they expected her to live, but from what Gattler's told me about the illness it was far from guaranteed yet.-

He could not go inside.

Instead he sat down beside where Razzle had been sitting. The ground was dusty and the wall in his back rough and hard. He couldn't feel it through his armour of course, but he could hear them scraping against each other.

Razzle sat back down as well, even though he wasn't wearing armour. It was some time before Jesse became aware that their shoulders were touching. When he looked over at Razzle inquiringly he moved his arm and slid it behind Jesse's back.

They sat there for quite a while, before Ramszet came to tell them that yet another enemy sighting had been reported. As it turned out it wasn't a particularly relevant one and didn't add any real information, but somehow they still ended up regarding the map and discussing their theories on the enemy's positions until dinner.

Their initial theories on Mohawk's position both had already been given up several days earlier. Despite the three initial stragglers it seemed by now very unlikely that there was anything in Jesse's rear ... other than Lutatz's hospital posts and two of Razzle's tank crews that that information rendered superfluous, but that remained in place nevertheless since they were unable to move to a more useful position under their own power and picking them up and repositioning them with the drop-ship would have been quite a complicated manoeuvre.

Nor was there enough activity in the immediate vicinity of Jesse's line to indicate anything more than small observation posts. This had led them to conclude that all three enemy commanders were somewhere in the mountains. As far as Jesse was concerned that didn't prove that they had to be at all close to each other, but Razzle, who knew all three a lot better, tended to assume that they had a single shared headquarters probably quite some distance behind the lines.

-It's the wisest choice if Ettar doesn't want Mohawk to act on his own initiative at some point and Ettar likes to be in control of things himself. He doesn't trust others to do their jobs as well and the current situation certainly isn't one Mohawk is fit to deal with. Mohawkzs strength lies in fast, straightforward action. He can play a waiting game if he knows exactly what opportunity he's waiting for, but when he doesn't any action of the enemy is likely to inspire him to order a charge. Since he'd like to have his home back I'd judge that us rotating troops in and out of Goura house or moving our line forward would probably result in Mohawk ordering a mass attack on Goura house if he were left to his own devices.-

-That would be a most unwise move.- Jesse commented. -Even if he could overcome the tank and win the house it would most likely be a pyrrhic victory and would gain him little. Rushing the space port instead might make sense, but he's in no position to do that effectively.-

-You're overthinking.- Razzle informed him. -Gattler would be likely to come to those conclusions and try to reposition his troops to threaten the space port, but Mohawk can't think that far. The space port won't even enter his mind, nor what use Goura house would be once he has it. The furthest he might be able to think is that the house would most likely be seriously damaged in the battle. That might hold him back and in that case he'd attack your line instead.-

-That mightn't be an entirely stupid move.- Lutatz judged. -With concentrated force at a single point he might well break through before we can bring in reinforcements and then he'd be in Jessesz rear.-

-Whereupon we re-close the line and he's cut off from Ettar and Gattler who could tell him what use to make of that gain. I can tell you that that's the last thing Ettar wants.- Razzle countered. -He'd probably cause some chaos back there, but wouldn't be likely to take anything truly useful to the rebels. Mostly he'd be wasting good soldiers and material.-

-You expect Gattler to think of threatening the space port, though?- Jesse asked.

-If left to his own devices he'd probably concentrate his troops somewhere near the space port and then try to take it by storm, yes.- Razzle said. -That'd be just his style. He'd suffer heavy losses since he doesn't have the heavy guns required to fight tanks, but he could win by numbers if we can't move in further troops in time. He'd have to hold the space port afterwards, though, and since he still has only comparatively light troops we could just drop those two spare tanks on him and chase him off with whatever planes we can spare. Ettar will see that much clearly enough even if Gattler doesn't.-

-Fine.- Said Jesse. -So what will Ettar do?-

-That.- Razzle replied staring at the projection. -Is the question. He still wants the space port, but he knows he can't hope to hold it in the current situation. He wants us off the planet, but we're pretty well entrenched and if he's holding the space port we'll actually find it harder to depart.-

-We have plenty of space capable ships and the drop-ships in orbit.- Jesse remarked. -We could ferry our people out or pick them up one post at a time.-

-Right.- Lutatz said. -But why would we want to? We'd be giving up everything we've gained and go back to the starting point. He'd need to give us some good motivation to do that.-

-For which levelling Goura house would actually be a good start.- Jesse realised. -If he renders all our current posts uninhabitable we have the choice between disappearing into the jungle and leaving the planet.-

-Levelling the space port would be Istarsz kind of move.- Razzle threw in unexpectedly. -But I do believe Ettar can see the consequences that would have for his own side.-

-I'd say Istar ought to be able to do that as well.- Jesse judged.

-Oh yes, but the thing with Istar is that he wouldn't care. He'd be quite happy to leave only burnt earth behind and leave Goura and Uthen to pick up the pieces and rebuild or perish by their own means.- Razzle explained. -Ettar's quite aware that he still needs their support and that the other colonies wouldn't look too favourably on him ruining one of his own worlds, though. I doubt he'd risk going to such extremes if he can help it at all, but we do need to keep in mind that he can supply his troops with food from elsewhere while we can't.-

-Nemesis could move the Warworld closer to another agricultural world.- Jesse stated. -He'd have to give up Rukkat, but everybody there now came from the Warworld so they can be returned there. If we win this war it'll be easy enough to return to Rukkat or, in fact, spread our people out over whatever defeated colonies we like. Spoils of war.-

-It would be a very unpopular move and we'd have to take that world very quickly then.- Lutatz countered. -I don't think he'd do it.-

-He will if he has to.- Razzle said. -But it is a measure of last resort. Anyway, Ettar will try to keep the houses, the capital and the space port mostly intact if he can. He might level a lesser village or storehouse or two, but nothing that will cause the local clans any real distress. Unlike Gattler and Mohawk he'll think of less direct means and may try to outmanoeuvre or sabotage us. In any case, I don't expect mass attacks on any of our tank enforced positions from him. He'll try to take out the tank first and that's no use while we have spares to drop, so my guess is that he'll try to provoke us into moving those tanks somewhere they'll be bound, but not in his way. Seems to me we'd better react by either moving something else or letting him keep whatever place he'll make so attractive.-

Even though she hadn't been at any of the meals for the last few days Jesse couldn't help feeling Cirke's empty place all through dinner. It didn't help that the Uthene, too, kept looking at it and were even more quiet than usual.

Jesse ate little then fled out into the garden where he sought out a spot he hadn't used before, a stone bench that saw little shade during the day and that was still somewhat hot even now. At least he had no memories of Cirke connected with it, though and with the sun about to set the great heat of the day had passed. He found a garden blanket in one of the sheds and spread that over the hot stone to protect his skin and told himself that he was quite comfortable that way.

Razzle followed him outside a few minutes later, but chose to sit on the dusty ground rather than join him on the bench.

-Are you going to the funeral?- He asked by way of opening the conversation.

The question came as a complete surprise to Jesse even though he should have expected ... Well, at least expected that there would be some kind of funeral. He still didn't know what sorts of rites Outriders performed for their dead, though.

-I don't know.- He said hesitantly wishing Jean Claude were here to ask. Could he use Razzle as his culture guide? The old hedgehog sure knew a lot about religion and hadn't minded answering those questions. Anyway, there was nobody else here that he was any more comfortable asking. -Is it expected?-

-No. You're not a relative so there are no obligations, but she was your friend and it would also demonstrate support of the clan in its grief. We are here as conquerors, but they are still our own people. A conciliatory gesture would not be amiss.-

There was a pause during which Jesse played with his blanket nervously.

-What?- Razzle prompted finally. -I didn't say you had to go. If you don't want to ...-

-I'm not sure.- Jesse blurted out. -Is there some way I could give offence?-

-By not going? I told you it isn't expected and I meant it.-

-No by ... I don't know.- He admitted softly. -That's exactly the problem. I've never been to a funeral. I have no idea what to expect. I doubt it's anything like the Fleshling rites.-

-I don't know the Fleshling rites.- Razzle returned easily. -In fact, I didn't think they had any.-

That was a surprise. -Why wouldn't they?-

Razzle shrugged. -Their whole culture is so cold and ... empty. They don't care about each other while they're alive, so why would they care when somebody dies?-

-Did you know that the Fleshlings told me that Outriders have no feelings at all?- Jesse asked. -That they're terrified of you heartless monsters?-

-No.- Razzle said calmly. -I did not.-

He regarded Jesse thoughtfully for a while.

-So what do you think now?- He asked finally.

-Me? About what? The funeral? I think I'd better not go since I don't know how to behave.-

-You, Puppy.- Razzle returned with a smirk. -About the feelings of Outriders and Fleshlings. And I think you'd better go, because you don't know how to behave. You don't want your first funeral to be that of one of your siblings or parents and not to know what to do then. With Cirke you have the chance to be more an observer than a participant. Besides I'm going and I know exactly what to do. I've been to enough funerals over the years. I'll make sure to warn you if you're about to make an unpardonable mistake.-

-There isn't anything I might not want to do?- Jesse asked a little hesitantly.

Of course he realised Razzle had a very good point. He would have to attend a funeral someday, unless he was killed in battle first. He had a clan and dorm-mates and subordinates some of whom were close enough to him that he would probably be expected to make some sort of public gesture at their deaths.

Still ...

Razzle nodded towards Jesse's right hand.

-There will be a ritual donation of blood again, but as your connection with Cirke was very faint nobody will be surprised if you don't go that far and you did when you visited Cirsz temple. I admit that rather surprised me.-

-Cirke expected it and sprang it on me as a surprise.- Jesse admitted. -I had no idea blood might be involved in prayer for good weather. You might have warned me then.-

-I didn't realise the warning was required.- Razzle returned. -I am aware that you are touchy about your blood, but I know very little about Fleshling customs outside of battle. I take it they do not shed blood when they pray?-

-Not in any current customs I am aware of.- Jesse said trying hard to recall what he knew about the main human religions. -There were religions that demanded humans or animals to be sacrificed in the past, but that was a very long time ago and I don't really know anything about it. The religions I've actually personally seen anything of were all about ritual words, songs, litanies and gestures.-

-Shedding blood is a gesture.- Razzle pointed out. -It demonstrates that we are willing to suffer pain for what we are praying for. Or for the love of the one we have lost in case of funerals.-

-Well, Fleshlings don't demonstrate that to their god. Most of their religions have only one god, you see.-

-So what do they demonstrate to their god if not the importance and sincerity of their request?-

Jesse blinked at Razzle in incomprehension for a moment before he realised the underlying assumption that made it so difficult to answer.

-Do Outriders only pray to ask their gods for something, then?-

Razzle looked just as baffled as Jesse felt. -Why of course. Why else would one pray?-

-That is actually considered very objectionable behaviour in Fleshling religions as far as I know. There are a lot of them and I have never really paid them much attention.-

-But what else is there to pray for?- Razzle insisted. -Or about?-

-Well, let me think a little, okay. I've never been religious and I definitely haven't ever thought it through.-

Razzle rolled his eyes. -Obviously. You young brats never think anything through properly.-

-There definitely are certain times prescribed for prayer by every religion.- Jesse said. -But I'm having some trouble figuring out the purpose, alright?-

-Alright. So when and how did they tell you to pray?-

-Well, the most important time is on Sunday. We were supposed to go to church every Sunday and there was a priest that conducted a long ceremony. It was dead boring so I never went if I could avoid it.-

-Right.- Razzle laughed. -And you never bothered to ask what the ceremony was about either.-

-The son of God having shared bread and wine with his "apostles" one last time before he was arrested and crucified. He asked them to do that again to remember him by.-

-So you eat bread and drink wine every Sunday and that's boring?-

-No, only the priest drinks wine, but he calls it the blood of God, so there's blood for you after all. The rest of the people only get this little bite of a thing that doesn't even taste like anything. And they mustn't even have that unless they've confessed all their sins first. And they must have undergone another special such ritual when they were seven. All the rest is the priest preaching and repeating ritual words and singing ritual songs and standing up and kneeling down at the right time.-

-Ooookay.- Razzle said very slowly. -You really have no idea, but, you know, I doubt most of us know much more about our customs. No respect for tradition.-

-Well, another time you're supposed to pray is right before you go to bed.- Jesse hurried to continue. -Little children are supposed to do that with their mother saying the prayer with them, but when you're older you're supposed to do it alone ... or you don't do it at all. To do it you kneel by your bed.- Jesse demonstrated. -Make the sign of the cross and then you fold your hands and say the prayer, but I don't remember the words. Then you make the cross sign again, get up and go to bed.-

-Do you remember what the words were about? Vaguely at least?-

-Uh well, I suppose probably thanking God for all the good things that happened that day and begging his forgiveness for all the bad things you've done and promising to do better. Or maybe confirming that you believe in him as you should. Something like that.-

-Alright.- Razzle said sounding pleased. -Now we're getting somewhere. What about that cross sign?-

-Well, that's about the son of God who was crucified. That was a way to execute criminals. They nailed them to a big wooden cross, putting one nail through both feet and one through each hand and left them to die there for all to see.-

Razzle looked puzzled again as he tried to assimilate that.

-That's just that particular religion, though.- Jesse hastened to reassure him. -It's completely irrelevant for Fleshling religions in general.-

But Razzle was not yet willing to leave it alone. -Why the fuck did they execute the son of their only god and why do you make gestures symbolising that before you go to bed?-

-At the beginning and the end of every prayer actually. And he died like that to atone for all our sins that those who believe in God and say their prayers and everything can get into "heaven" when they die. Everybody else and everybody who died before him goes to "hell" according to that religion.-

-And what are "heaven" and "hell"?-

-Well, "heaven" is where God lives and it's nice and beautiful and everybody there is eternally happy. "Hell" is a place of eternal torture where people are punished for their sins.-

Razzle leaned back against the wall with his eyes half-closed and said nothing. After the silence had continued for quite a while Jesse added: -Another time for prayer is before every meal. Then ...-

But Razzle held up a hand to stop him and they sat in silence for a little while longer.

-Jesse, would you say that Fleshlings are evil?- Razzle asked finally.

-What? No! They were just defending their planets. Which we attacked, threatening their lives. We're the evil ones from that perspective. Though of course we had little choice either, I suppose. By their rules of behaviour we should have asked them for help, though. So yes, we are the evil ones here.-

-Do Fleshlings consider themselves evil, though?- Razzle insisted.

-No, why would they?-

-Then why is their whole religion about begging for forgiveness and being punished if they don't? Why the gestures of submission? And why the fuck confess what you've done if you have to expect eternal torture in punishment?-

Jesse took a moment to try to assimilate that and even then it didn't quite make sense. -Do you mean the original sin?-

-I suppose that depends on what that is.-

-Well, there's this myth. God made the first human and called him Adam and Adam was lonely so God made him a wife, Eve. And the serpent tempted Eve to eat the fruit of the tree of wisdom which God had forbidden. Eve also gave a slice of the fruit to Adam. That made Adam and Eve learn the difference between good and evil and God cast them out for their disobedience and since all Fleshlings are descendants of Adam and Eve they are all guilty of that first sin.-

Razzle thought some more. -So everybody is still being punished for their ancestors stealing one fruit?-

-It's supposed to be a metaphor for sex.- Jesse explained. -The fruit I mean.-

-Sex doesn't make you any wiser.- Razzle stated. -If it's a metaphor for anything then for empathy or reason, but why would that be forbidden?-

-Don't over-think it.- Jesse advised when he realised how much he'd confused the Outrider. -They disobeyed God. That's the heart of the matter.-

-Your god demands absolute obedience then.- Razzle stated finally. -That's more like His Nastiness than a god. Our gods are usually kind. But unlike His Nastiness your god does not forgive easily and his punishments are rather extreme.-

-Look, I don't even believe in him.- Jesse defended himself. -And he's supposed to be very nice and forgiving.-

-I think I like Nemesis better.- Razzle declared. -A lot better. Now about Fleshlings and Outriders and feelings?-

-You're asking a lot of questions that I'm not qualified to answer today.- Jesse told him. -What do I know about the matter?-

-More than anybody else, I'd say.- Razzle answered. -You have actually been both, not just pretended but really belonged to both cultures. If you don't know what they feel, then who would?-

Jesse frowned as he contemplated that. Razzle had a very good point. There was just one problem.

-I know what I feel.- He said. -Or at least I think I do. I was quite sure I felt love for April once, too.-

-True.- Razzle allowed.-But failing to put the correct name to a feeling isn't the same as not feeling at all.-

-No but ... it makes me doubt a lot of things. We have words for feelings, but if I call something love that isn't how do I tell whether somebody else is doing the same or not? We use the same word, but where's the proof that we're feeling the same thing? I believe that I have feelings then. I am pretty sure of that. I can feel them and I use those words to describe them. I've always had them and both Fleshlings and Outriders taught me names to call them by, so they too must have things they call by those names.-

-But?- Razzle prompted. -You sound doubtful.-

-I've never felt what any of them was feeling when they said they were experiencing a particular feeling. How do I know it's the same? If I assume that the feelings I have are the real thing as I think they are I can also safely assume that I inherited the ability to feel them.-

-Of course.- Razzle said. -So?-

-So how do I tell from which parent I inherited it? Even when I thought I was a Fleshling I already had Outrider blood. Even though I've decided that I am an Outrider I still have Fleshling blood. I know where I got the shape of my ears and the colour of my hair, because there is obvious proof that each of them exists only in one of the two species. We can see them.- Jesse shrugged. -How do I tell where I got my feelings if we don't know which race has them?-

-Feelings motivate actions.- Razzle stated. -You have experienced how both races act towards their own. I have only ever experienced how Fleshlings act in battle.-

Jesse opened his mouth to reply, stopped as a thought occurred to him and froze. -Are you asking me which race has treated me more kindly?-

-Should I?- Razzle returned calmly. -Not all feelings motivate us to actions of kindness. No, I suppose I am asking which species' actions resemble those your feelings motivate more, but you're right on one count ...-

-What's that?-

-Just because you get your feelings from one species doesn't prove that the other doesn't have any and if both species have feelings after all it doesn't mean that they feel the same ones in the same way or react the same. But do try to tell me who understood your feelings best?-

Jesse thought about it. He couldn't remember his Fleshling parents well enough to say how correctly they had interpreted his feelings. The nurses, teachers, classmates he'd had later on? Sometimes they'd been right, often they'd been wrong and sometimes they'd stared at him in incomprehension, though most of the time they simply hadn't given a damn what he was feeling. April had known that he hadn't really been in love with her and tried to explain that to him. In Psychology he'd learned that all teenagers felt that their feelings were unique and that nobody understood them. His Outrider colleagues and subordinates had never learned any psychology and were often as baffled by each other's actions as they were by his. Iktrz had, but he'd done his best to lead him away from what he was feeling and at his trial ...

-You do.-

-We do? Well, that at least proves that you came to live with the race you resemble more.-

-No, not Outriders. You personally do, you old hedgehog.- Jesse grinned. -Gattler's right. You really are clever like that. Maybe you're slightly telepathic?-

Razzle laughed. -I'm just an old bastard who's spent most of his life having to fight off everybody while being careful not to tread on the wrong toes too hard. You learn to read all the warning signs there are that way.-

-Right. Well, anyway, I am where I am and I can't go back so what's the use in wondering where I fit better? I've got to fit where I am as best I can.-


	14. Chapter 13: Lord of the Diamonds

Disclaimer 1: This is fanfic. That means I do not own any of it. I just borrow it to play with for a little while and let people see the pathetic results if they really want to.

Disclaimer 2: I'm not making any money from it. It's just for fun.

Disclaimer 3: What isn't borrowed is all made up. None of this is real or most likely at all realistic. Please don't trust any of the information in here. Most likely you know more about whatever I'm writing about than I do.

Disclaimer 4: Attitudes, views and opinions expressed by the characters or in the story are not necessarily those of the author. Even when writing Science Fiction or Fantasy I do not tend to attempt to create perfect/better worlds in which everybody gets a happy end ... or whatever is best for them. Please accept that some characters will have a bad ending or be unhappy.

Disclaimer 5: I intend no insult to anyone. If I offend anyone I'm very sorry. Please understand that it was an accident as I tend to be very clumsy in these things.

Chapter 13: Lord of the Diamonds

-My plane's broken.- Ramszet informed Jesse and then looked at him expectantly.

-So?- Jesse demanded.

-So I can't fly.-

-Then take a spare one.- Jesse prompted.

-There are no spare ones.- Ramszet said. -They're all broken.-

-Alright, then have it repaired. And the spare ones as well while you're at it.-

-There aren't enough mechanics.- Ramszet stated.

Okay, that was a problem.

-So what exactly is broken?-

-It won't fly.-

-Yes, but which part isn't working?-

-The plane won't fly.-

Right. The most broken part here probably was the pilot's IQ.

-Show me.-

Ramszet's plane, it turned out, did little more than produce some unusual noises and then fall silent if you tried to start it.

Jesse considered going over to the hangar and ordering the mechanics to fix it. They'd drop something else of course, but wasn't that acceptable in order to get a Subcomander back in the air?

Then again, they'd probably already have jumped to it if whatever they were working on wasn't either more important or for some reason would react badly to being abandoned right now.

He eyed the plane. Back on Ishara he'd gotten some pieces of Outrider technology to work again even after actual pure-blooded Outriders had given up on them and he doubted that Ramszet had made any attempt to fix it himself. Granted, those items had been much smaller and simpler than this plane, but that didn't exclude the possibility that the problem was something small and obvious, not with Ramszet being the only one that had actually seen it. Surely Jesse wouldn't make it any worse, by just looking at it.

-Ramszet, get back in there and try to start it again. I'll try to figure out where the noises are coming from.-

-The plane.- Ramszet told him, but obeyed anyway.

Jesse listened very closely this time.

First there was a hissing noise that was probably normal. At least it didn't differ noticeably from those other Outrider planes, including the Badlander, made when starting. Surely Outrider planes weren't started pneumatically like their sliding doors?

Then came a sudden bump. That definitely wasn't normal and unsurprisingly it came from where Jesse thought the engine ought to be.

Jesse went there and found a hatch. It was stuck, probably from lack of use, but with a little help from the much stronger Ramszet he managed to force it open. He could only hope that they hadn't bent it out of shape so much that it'd never close again. Something white and slimy was trying to crawl out of the sudden light at what was probably its top speed.

It was not very impressive. Jesse grabbed it and held it under Ramszet's nose.

-I think we may have found the problem.-

Ramszet flinched back. -Eww! Looks like a miniature Th'Hone.-

Jesse inspected the dangling creature a little more closely at that. It didn't get any less disgusting the more he looked at it, so he threw it on the ground to fry in the hot sun, be run over by a plane or save itself into whatever crack it might be able to find.

-See if it'll start now.- He ordered Ramszet.

It didn't. The sound came from somewhere further in the engine than the creature was likely to have ever gotten, but this time there was no convenient hatch or grip. Nothing seemed to be lose except some of the dirt and slime either.

Ramszet actually remembered where he'd seen some gloves lying around when Jesse ordered him to help clean that out. A thorough cleaning left Jesse with a better idea of what some of the parts might be, a minor burn on the outside of his forearm and a layer of slimy dirt on his clothes. The plane however still wouldn't start.

A quick search of the nearest tool-shed produced some gardening equipment that could be creatively applied to the engine. Nuts still remained a problem, but there was a large screw under which Jesse suspected an opening that would take him closer to the source of the sound if he could manage to unscrew it with a trowel instead of a screwdriver. He set to work and indeed it turned more readily than he had hoped.

-No! Don't!-

He was yanked away from the plane quite suddenly from behind.

Jesse twisted around to fight off his assailant and found himself facing Razzle.

-What the?-

-That ...-

There was a sound like an explosion behind Jesse that made him whirl around again just in time to see the immovable 'nut' and the metal lid it had been mounted on clutter to the ground several meters away and a jet of hot steam shoot out of the engine.

-Is a very dangerous thing to do.- Razzle finished calmly. -You broke it. Are you planning on fixing it as well?-

-I didn't. It was already broken. So now it's just a little more broken than before.-

-Mostly.- Razzle said. -It's low on hydraulic fluid now. Luckily that's no big deal here, but never repeat this stunt on a desert world.-

Considering the force with which the 'nut' must have been expelled to fly that far Jesse wasn't too keen on repeating it under any circumstances at all, but he'd be hanged before he admitted that to Razzle. so he simply walked over to pick the part up and inspect it more closely. It was heavier than he'd expected as well.

-What do you call this thing?- He asked when he realised that Razzle had followed him.

-Pressure lock.- Razzle supplied with a smirk. -Because, you know, when you open it, you let out a lot of pressure.-

-Right. So how do we get it back on?-

-Wait until all the fluid has vapourised, then put it back the same way you took it off. Then wait another two hours to be sure the engine's cooled down and refill the hydraulic tanks. But don't worry, you won't get bored. After we put back the lock you can still replace the blocked air valve you were looking for and I urgently recommend that you clean out the pneumatic system or it will happen again before long.-

-That thing really starts pneumatically?- Escaped Jesse in his surprise.

-Of course. What else were you expecting?-

-Right. What else. Of course. Stupid me.- Jesse seethed.

-No really. How do Fleshlings do it that it surprises you this much?-

-Well, electrically, I always assumed. Though all I know is that you need a spark and then there are little explosions of fuel that move stuff. ... Oh, don't look at me like that! I'm not a mechanic. I only know the very basics they teach everybody in high school and I wasn't exactly paying a lot of attention to that. I just know that pneumatics are for pneumatic doors, not planes.-

-I'll have to catch Sanzar sometime and ask him about Fleshling technology.- Razzle decided. -Surely somebody in his department has taken a Fleshling plane apart at some point.-

-Yeah right. Like he'd give you an actual answer.- Jesse scoffed.

Of all the Outriders Jesse had ever met the head of weapons development had to be the most arrogant. He was respectful enough to Nemesis' face of course, but outside of official planning sessions he simply declared all warriors to be beneath his notice.

-Of course he will. Want me to get him to talk with you too?- Razzle offered smirking. -We've been friends for ages.-

-Right. He'd be your companion if it weren't for dear old Gattler, eh?-

Razzle laughed. -Hell no. We never were that close really, but ... well, I told you that I hung out with the science students at the Academy. At the time ... well, we were in the same club and that was about as far as it went, but what with all the scientists getting put in the chambers one by one our group just dwindled away until we were the only two left. That created a bond that would never have existed naturally.-

Jesse turned the pressure lock over a few times and put his trowel back into the slit just to see what it would do at the other end when he turned it.

-You might want to hurry then, before all your old friends are de-vapourised and you grow further apart again.-

-There are keys for that, you know.- Razzle informed him. -No need to ruin perfectly serviceable gardening tools.-

-This worked for opening it.- Jesse declared, but Razzle was already striding away.

After a moment of hesitation Jesse followed and found that they were heading for Razzle's tank.

-What are we doing?- Jesse asked when Razzle started to pull an apparently very heavy box out of the back of the vehicle.

-Getting you a key.- Razzle said, let the box slide to the ground and threw open the lid.

Jesse glanced in and discovered that it was another tool box ... containing, by the look of it, a larger variety of tools than the tool shed, though Jesse had no idea what most of them might be for.

-What's that?- he asked reaching for a particularly strange-looking item.

-A stztantz.- Razzle replied slapping Jesse's hand away. -Not a chew-toy for little puppies. All you could do with it right now is break some more things. Here, that's the one to use.-

He handed Jesse another strange and heavy object.

Jesse turned and twisted it for a while, but had to ask Razzle for help in the end.

Razzle demonstrated the use of a pressure lock key willingly enough, but insisted that Jesse had to remount the one he'd unlocked himself and continued to refuse to move a single finger to fix Ramszet's plane even though Jesse strongly suspected he could have done it in much less time then it took to tell how to do it. Still, three hours later the plane was back in the air ... and Jesse covered in slime, oil and hydraulic fluid, several burns and scrapes and a lot of sweat.

-See.- Razzle said. -Basic fighter plane maintenance ... or rather a part of it. Nothing to it.-

-Right.- Jesse replied sarcastically. -If anyone asks for me, I'm taking a bath and don't want to be disturbed for anything outside of an actual rebel attack.-

He wasn't disturbed at all, though that may have been due to the noticeable lack of news he found when he returned to the meeting room. Well, under those circumstances he might just as well go and enjoy the shade under the Badlander for the rest of the afternoon.

Unfortunately he only got about ten minutes of that before he was interrupted by a strange bundle dropping in front of him.

He glanced up. Razzle again.

So he looked down again to inspect the contents of the bundle. They appeared to be quite a variety of plant parts including rather a lot of sharp edges and thorns.

-Just what am I supposed to do with those?- Jesse eyed them doubtfully.

-Just weave them into a little wreath for the funeral.- Razzle explained. -It doesn't have to be a great work of art or last very long. They get burned in the ceremony. But you might want to put some effort into learning the technique anyway. Our wristbands are smaller versions of the same and they are meant to last a lifetime.-

Jesse eyed the material again.

-Do they have to have thorns?-

-Not if you don't intend to include your blood.- Razzle said. -Which we don't have to here, but for a relative or close friend you would. I thought it best to show you the proper way of doing that as well.-

-I don't think I want a wristband with thorns in it. The dispenser one with its needles is bad enough.- Jesse decided.

Razzle laughed causing Jesse to ball his fists and snarl at him,which only amused him more.

-You're cute, Puppy.- Razzle informed him. -The funeral circlets aren't meant to be worn and the wristbands aren't made with thorns ... or out of plants at all. They're all fabric, hair and plastic. Here, feel them. They're quite pleasant to wear.-

He held both wrists out to Jesse who drew back a little and blinked at him in surprise.

-Go ahead, touch them. They don't do any harm.-

No, of course they wouldn't, but they were very special gifts with a deep cultural meaning that Jesse didn't think he fully understood yet. Rissa had drawn away from him when he'd touched one during sex once, the gesture apparently being more intimate to her than the intercourse.

Hesitant to invade Razzle's privacy despite the invitation he at first contented himself with looking. He'd long known that unlike Jean Claude Razzle had two wristbands. Of course he did, considering his age. The one on the right hand would be the one that Jean Claude owned as well and that Jesse, too ought to get not long from now, given by a teacher or mentor on the twentieth birthday.

Jean Claude had shown him his before, but Razzle's looked quite different, Jesse noticed. Thinner with strands of blue, black, white but most of all purple where Jean Claude's was predominantly green.

It looked a little shabby, Jesse thought, but then perhaps that was due to wear. Razzle was much older than Jean Claude after all.

The one on the left wrist was much wider showing actual patterns and a lot of colour variations. There certainly was nothing shabby about that one.

-Do the colours mean anything?- He asked spontaneously.

-Not directly. You choose the thread to match the colour of the hair.-

The difference between the two bands really was striking.

-Is there a reason behind the different width and patterns?-

-Yes.- Razzle said simply.

-Well?- Jesse pushed when he didn't continue. -What does it mean?-

-What does what mean?-

-The difference in width and pattern.- Jesse repeated impatiently.

-The difference in width means that the person who gave me the second had a lot more material to work with and the difference in pattern ... well, having more material made more patterns possible in the first place, but they also require a lot more effort to make.-

That didn't really explain anything.

-Is it customary for the second band to be more elaborate, then?-

-No.-

Did Razzle not want to talk about it, or did it amuse him to watch Jesse guess?

-Is it usual, though?-

A short hesitation. -No, not really.-

Jesse looked back up at Razzle's face. It told him nothing.

-Is this a guessing game now or what do you want me to do?-

-I wanted to show you that the bands are comfortable. They are a very precious symbolic gift. There are no hidden thorns, neither physical nor figurative ones. There's no reason to be afraid of them, Jesse.-

-But there's something here that you don't want to tell me.-

Razzle sighed, withdrew his hands and rolled onto his back to look up into the sky.

-There is something there that I do not acknowledge, because it would imply things that are quite contrary to how I feel about these gifts. It is not something I can explain in any way that people would ... believe is the truth.-

Jesse tried to unravel that.

-Could you give me a single sentence explanation why you don't want to talk about the difference between your wristbands?- Jesse asked again after a while.

-Because the smaller one is more precious to me.-

But it was a lesser gift! Of course! It had taken less effort to make, was cheaper. Because a bastard hadn't been worth anything more elaborate. The officer ten years later, probably already a Commander or at the very least well on his way there on the other hand had merited quite a lot more.

Razzle's teacher probably hadn't exactly felt honoured to be asked to present the gift while the friend most likely had been proud to be chosen.

But why would the shabbier gift be more precious? It had to have an emotional value that the more elaborate gift didn't.

-That birthday was more important to you?- He ventured. -It meant majority while the other is just a celebration without any change of status, right?-

Razzle grimaced. -No change of status, no, but that has nothing to do with it. I was well past the childish eagerness for adult status by the time I turned thirty. You might not be able to imagine that having to live with the age difference between you and us always in your face. That's one problem I never had to face. I never was the youngest of my pack. There always were younger officers that had been promoted ahead of me so I had nothing to prove in that respect. By the time you turn thirty you'll have caught up as well, though. Then you will understand.-

-Caught up? I'll never catch up. You'll keep growing older just as I do.- Jesse pointed out.

-We'll grow older and retire.- Razzle said calmly. -While others will be promoted to take our places. And someday you'll look around at your dorm-mates and realise that you stopped being the cute little puppy and started watching over the actual pups. You might have a lot longer to wait for that moment than anybody else ever did, but everybody gets there eventually.-

-I don't need watching over.- Jesse snapped.

-Right.- Razzle said glancing at the crafts material he had brought.

Alright, so he did need teaching. He wasn't going to admit it, though.

-So the giver meant more to you?- He ventured instead.

Razzle snorted. -Heck no, he wouldn't even have been my choice, if I had been in any position to choose. I am grateful that he did it of course. I worked very hard for his class and it was good to know that he was aware of and willing to acknowledge that effort. I did have my favourite teachers and subjects, though, and he wasn't on the list.-

-And the other giver was more special?-

-He was my companion. Not Gattler, yet. You never met him. He died in the explosion that killed Amiss as well.-

Razzle played with the band on his left wrist as he spoke and another of Jesse's theories died unspoken. Clearly both bands had a lot of emotional value.

But ...

-Were you ... Does it ever happen that nobody cares enough to arrange a ceremony?-

-I've never heard of it happening.- Razzle said softly. -But there's no safeguard against it. And I never ... well, I did consider the idea at the time, but it wasn't a realistic fear. I had friends that I knew would want to be there. They'd have found out that there was nobody arranging it the moment they attempted to make contact with that person and if they couldn't have gotten any of the teachers to do it, they'd have asked my grandfather. That would have been embarrassing, but Grandfather had taught me a lot. He was my first mentor, so it would have even been very fitting if he had arranged the ceremony.-

-The giver arranges it all then?-

-Usually he is the one to organise and coordinate everything, yes, but all of the contributors help, so there's no need to be nervous about that either. You can also function as a figurehead and tie breaker of a rather democratic party committee if you don't feel up to running the show.-

-I take it you have experience?-

-I've done my share, though never as a figurehead myself. Another thing that happens with age. By the time I found myself in a position to arrange a ceremony myself I'd contributed to quite a number and had a very clear idea of what I wanted to do. Just you wait, by the time you reach my age, you'll be able to arrange a birthday ceremony in your sleep.-

-You'd better not sleep through mine!- Jesse snapped and could have bitten off his tongue a moment later. Was he really expecting Razzle to show up for that? Why the hell would he?

But Razzle took it in stride.

-I won't.-

Jesse almost cringed. -I didn't mean that I expect you to ...-

-Yes, you do.- Razzle said. -You have every right to.-

-I haven't even made up my mind to have one.-

-Of course you will. By not having it you'd just set yourself apart again. You already have your ears to mark you as different. You want to prove where you belong whenever you can.-

-Maybe. But I'm not in school. I never went to school here, so where to even take a teacher from.-

Razzle shrugged. -I guess I'll have to talk that over with Jean Claude. There's little chance that Gattler will be available so it'll have to be one of us.-

-Gattler?-

-He helped Jean Claude teach you our language, remember? It meant a lot to him. Point'd do in a pinch. You learned from sparring with him.-

-Everybody in the dorm would do by that standard.- Jesse commented.

-Not Lutaz.- Razzle returned. -He's a too recent addition. And I don't think Gaspar would agree to do it. Jean Claude definitely would, though. It would be fun if you got both your bands from the same giver, wouldn't it?-

-I suppose. Kind of weird as well, though. And don't think I haven't noticed that you're trying to lead me off topic. What is it about the first band that makes it more special than the other? Give!-

And to Jesse's surprise Razzle gave in.

-The hair.- He said.

-Eh?-

-The band includes the hair of the people that ... care about you enough to donate it. My grandfather was dead by the time I turned thirty. My first companion and most of my friends from my Academy days had disappeared into vapour chambers. Only one of the people that came to that first party was still around to attend the second.-

-Only one? One?- Jesse had known that a lot of the Warworld's population had been stored away, but he hadn't thought the numbers were that high among the more recent generations. Those had been born in controlled numbers to keep the war efforts going after all.

-Yes, that's another oddity about my bands. Only one person donated his hair for both of them. I really should introduce you to Sanzar someday ... or maybe not. Most likely it'd be mutual hate at first sight.-

-Hold on! The bands are made of the hair of one's friends? So that's why most Outriders have long hair!-

-Yes, we could put some of our hair into the wreaths as well, but I think that would be going a bit too far in this case. We hardly knew Cirke.-

-What about Gattler?- Jesse asked. -He wears his hair too short to weave it into anything. Didn't he give you any? Or did he wear it longer back then?-

Razzle looked at him with a surprised expression and then smiled wryly.

-The problem never came up.- He said. -Gattler was ten years old when I turned thirty. We had never even met yet.- Then a shadow fell over his face. -It rather sucks that we have to stop the band giving when we run out of wrists, you know. There are quite a lot of friends I've made since I turned thirty whose hair I'll never have.-

Jesse laughed.

Cirke was sitting by the side of the river staring out over the water that she loved to play in.

When Jesse walked over to her she looked up at him sadly.

-Why Jesse?- She asked him. -What did I ever do wrong? It hurts so much.-

-Cirke.- Jesse said and reached for her, but it wasn't Cirke. It was Jenny.

-It hurts so much.- She repeated. -Why do you always hurt us?-

And then it was Kiervie who merely looked at him and burst into flames at his touch, burning his hand. He screamed in pain ... but then there was no pain at all.

-Damn you Jesse, not again!-

He shouldn't allow such a statement from a Subcommander, but he was feeling too shaky and confused to snap out a properly scathing retort and besides Kieste was Razzle's second in command and appeared to be quite close to the old bas... hedgehog. Jesse wasn't quite sure how far he could go when reprimanding another Commander's subordinate and mild snarkiness would not impress anyone used to Razzle.

So he merely commented: -I'd rather not have these nightmares either, you know.-

-Would you?- Laxus asked. -I don't know about that. You see one can control one's dreams, if one really wants to. So if you absolutely didn't want to have nightmares ...-

-Really now, Professor?- Razzle said in his most ironic tone. -I do wonder how anyone ever has nightmares at all then. Or are you going to tell us that we enjoy the thrill of them so much that we just can't stop begging for ...-

-Oh, shut up!- Lutaz said accompanied by the thud of something soft hitting the wall. -You know nothing of the matter.-

Next, there was a rustling sound from the direction of Razzle's bed and then a very pleasant sounding -I'm beginning to think you know nothing of it either and we'd best leave the problem to Iktrz. He'll work it out when we get home. Oh, and thanks for the extra pillow. It's very cosy.-

There was silence for a while and Jesse began to drift back to sleep.

-Razzle?-

Silence.

-Could I please have my pillow back?-

Silence.

-Oh come on Razzle! Please!-

Razzle however didn't appear to have heard.

-Dammit!-

Zzr's temple had a single entrance and no holes in the walls. Like Cir's it was round, though. Inside the floor was entirely black, but the glittering walls threw spots of light dancing over it. It was a slightly dizzying experience.

Not until Razzle pulled him back towards the wall to leave the centre space to the grieving clan and serfs and Jesse accidentally touched the wall did he realise that there were no lamps in it. The surface was cold and covered in ... crystals? Or was it merely cut glass? They were cut like jewels with many facets that reflected the flickering light of the fire that burned in the central hole that appeared to serve as Zzr's altar.

Like Cir's compluvium it was surrounded by spikes to cut yourself on, if you wanted to sacrifice blood.

Razzle had once again assured him that nobody was expecting them to do that, though. They had barely known Cirke after all. In fact there had been some very surprised looks when they had joined the line of mourners that had accompanied the girl's body to town.

They hadn't offered to help carry the stretcher it was transported on, though, just followed along at the end of the line.

Now the stretcher was hovering in front of the altar waiting until everybody had sat down on the floor. Jesse thought it was a very weird thing to do at a funeral, but on the other hand so many people standing in here would block most of the firelight from reaching the crystals as it was clearly intended to. With everybody sitting down they sparkled the brighter throwing their happily dancing disco lights on them all.

There came a humming tone from somewhere near the altar and the stretcher began to move. Jesse couldn't see any mechanism to propel it, but he had never gotten a close look at the stretcher. It could hover, so maybe it also had a remote controlled propulsion system.

Under continued humming it slid over the altar and then sank into the hole.

Jesse had to force down laughter at the realisation that he had simply expected Outriders to bury their dead like most people on Yuma did. But no, Cirke was quite obviously being cremated.

'Still too much of a Fleshling,' he realised. He'd have to work on that.

Some of the mourners in front got up again. One by one they walked up to the altar, first Cirke's father, then her mother, then Afrar Sesta, threw a wreath into the fire, then cut their hand and let a drop of blood fall in after their wreath.

Jesse looked to Razzle.

-The parents always go first, Afrar before mother. Then the brothers should follow in order of birth, and after that the sisters. Cirke had no surviving siblings however, so the clan's Afrar came next. After him the order can vary depending on how close the deceased was to individual relatives, but the usual order is the Afrarsz brothers followed by those of the mother, then the Afrarsz sisters each followed by her husband, the mother's sisters and their husbands, then the wives of the uncles, first degree of cousins, again male ones related in the male line first ... You get the idea, I think.-

Jesse nodded. The actual relatives were clear enough to him now.

-So what about us?-

-Once all the nobles are through the clan's commoners get their turn in no particular order since they are no blood relatives. After that everybody else is free to take their turn, but I suggest we wait until last. The clan's serfs have known Cirke all their lives and while they would make way for us on account of status their bigger grief deserves our respect.-

-And what are we expected to do there exactly?-

-Merely throw in our wreaths as symbols of our connection with Cirke. We are not close enough to be expected to do anything more. What else were you thinking of?-

Jesse shrugged.

-I think a lot of Fleshling traditions include thinking some final thoughts at the dead, remembering them or praying to ... some god that they will have a good afterlife.- He explained.

-Think of or at her as much as you like.- Razzle said snidely. -She certainly can't hear you anymore and nobody else will hear thoughts either. I do not recommend addressing Zzr, though. Ever. Those who actively worship him do, of course, but I do not think it wise to seek his attention.-

-Not your favourite god?-

-Not particularly, no. The problem however is that Zzr has nothing to give. He can only take away. That is the nature of his domain, of course, but that doesn't make it any more appealing.-

-So why talk to him at all?-

Razzle shrugged.

-That is a question you'd better take to Jean Claude. If he doesn't know he will know whom to ask.-

-Jean Claude?- Jesse asked a little surprised. He could remember few occasions of Razzle ever sending him to somebody else for an answer and he had implied that Jean Claude was not very knowledgeable about religion before.

-Jean Claude.- Razzle confirmed. -But keep in mind that his family ... has some rather mad traditions. On that note, you might want to try either of his paternal uncles if you're sure you can get a completely honest answer out of them. Jean Claude might take the question to his Afrar and ... don't go there with anything that doesn't involve practical fighting. Istar's never voluntarily applied his brain to anything else and never will.-

Jesse contemplated that. Could he go to Irstz with a question like that? The spider had seemed honestly concerned about his drinking problem even though it had only been a throwaway remark, but he was a tricky fellow. Afrar Irozz was out of the question. He was a business partner and Jesse wanted to meet him on equal terms whenever possible.

Did he really need to know things about Outrider religious practises that even Razzle didn't?

He considered asking that as well, but just then there was a stir near the entrance that drew Razzle's attention.

Jesse started to lean forwards to see as well, but Razzle pushed him back against the wall. He could have easily evaded the push of course, but since this wasn't fighting practise he took it to be a hint on proper funeral behaviour and obeyed.

-What's the matter?- He asked trying to figure out the rule that apparently applied to him but not Razzle.

-Gattler.- Razzle hissed. -Stay here. The companion-bond will protect me, but incapacitating you would be quite useful to the rebel cause and even if Gattler is only here in private, Ettar isn't one to forgive wasting such a chance.-

-But ...-

-I'm just going to talk to him for a moment. Stay here and wait for me and there won't be any trouble.-

And with those words Razzle got up and slipped away. Jesse almost followed him just to prove that he wasn't afraid of Gattler, but of course that wasn't what Razzle had been talking about. It wasn't the possible outcome of a fight between him and Gattler that would be the problem. They knew each other too well and were closely enough matched that they'd probably both get away with minor injuries. Ruining the parting-gift-wreath-giving by fighting in the temple was probably not the done thing, though and Jesse certainly didn't want to dishonour Cirke's memory.

So he leaned back against the wall and waited, longer than the just a moment Razzle had intended, but significantly shorter than Jesse had expected considering how much he knew Razzle must miss Gattler.

Razzle returned carrying an extra wreath, this one quite elaborate, and looking serious.

-It's worse than I expected.- He whispered sitting down next to Jesse again. -Ettar doesn't respect the companion-bond after all and Gattlersz orders are to kill not incapacitate.-

-What?!- Jesse gasped.

-That's Taz for you.- Razzle said. -Unlike Zzr he's quite a pleasant fellow ... until all hell breaks loose and suddenly you can't rely on anything anymore. ... Never mind, here's a more productive point to ponder: How did Gattler know not only of Cirkesz death, but also when the funeral was to be? Where's the leak and how much information is getting through?-

-The death wasn't a military secret.- Jesse pointed out. -The whole clan and its serfs knew.-

-Yes, but Gattler is supposed to be hiding in the jungle on another continent.- Razzle countered. -Either he was closer than we guessed or the news travelled very quickly. We'll have to find out later. For now I have another matter to take care of.- He said lifting the spare wreath.

Jesse blinked.

-Gattlersz?- He guessed.

Razzle nodded surprisingly seriously.

-So what? Just throw it in with your own.-

But Razzle leaned forward and tapped a boy in the row in front of them on the shoulder. The child, about Cirke's age, or perhaps a year older, turned around and looked at Razzle with wide, frightened eyes sunk deep into a haggard face.

Razzle smiled reassuringly at him, though Jesse doubted that that would help any if the boy had any knowledge of Razzle. You had to either know him very well or not at all to trust that smile.

-What's your name boy?- Razzle asked softly.

-Nosthz.- The boy replied.

-Are you of the clan, Nothz?- Razzle continued.

-Why no L... Sir. I'm just a completely irrelevant little serf. I fetch and carry for those who tend the orchards.-

Razzle glanced quite casually, or so it looked to Jesse, at the large elaborate wreath of plants and hair the boy was clutching.

It was enough.

-Lady Cirke was very kind to me. She even used to play with me when I was little and not needed for work. Sometimes she'd even give me a fruit. I hoped that she'd grow up and ... well, that she'd live.-

-So you're going up to throw in a wreath.- Razzle prompted.

Nothz nodded eagerly.

-Then will you do me a favour and give her Commander Gattlersz as well?-

Nothz blinked at him.

-But you've brought one of your own. Why would you need me, if you can do it yourself?-

-Because, while I don't want to stand in the way of anybody giving his wreath I also have a duty to his Nastiness not to help his enemies in any way. It would be very inappropriate in my position to be seen with Gattlersz wreath. You as a serf and mere boy wouldn't be expected to refuse to run a harmless errand like this for him.-

-But the errand is from you.- Nothz pointed out.

-Nobody needs to know that.- Razzle returned. -All you have to do is to throw in the extra wreath and tell anyone who asks that it was from Commander Gattler because he couldn't come himself. And if you happen to find yourself without any work to do sometime when I'm off duty, well, perhaps I too can occasionally find a spare fruit somewhere, or a story to pass the time.-

Nothz reached out and accepted the wreath.

-You've seen a lot of faraway places, haven't you?- He asked. -Commander Gattler used to tell Lady Cirke of faraway places. Sometimes she told me.-

-A lot of faraway places.- Razzle confirmed. -And I've read about even more faraway places and faraway times.-

Jesse only just managed to suppress a snort of laughter. The Fleshling war alone would probably supply several days worth of tales that this boy could hardly believe.

They carried their wreaths to the altar one by one and threw them in, and then there was silence. Jesse waited for something more to happen, somebody to stand up and deliver a speech in memory of Cirke or to tell them about the rewards and punishments that awaited them in the afterlife, but nothing happened. Everybody just seemed to wait. Eventually the fire went out, though torches were lit to keep the diamonds sparkling.

In the silence he could hear machines humming underneath and then something rose from the hole, a small pillar with something small and glittering on top.

-Another diamond?- Jesse asked.

Razzle nodded.

-A real one out of Cirkesz ashes. The ones in the walls are just glass, of course.-

-They pressed her into a diamond?- Jesse asked in disbelief.

-Why, what do Fleshlings do with their dead?- Razzle asked, then his eyes widened suddenly. -They don't eat them, do they?-

-Eat them?- Jesse gasped. -Gods no! Whatever gave you that idea?-

-Well, they do eat meat.- Razzle pointed out. -It seemed reasonable enough that they'd ...-

-They'd be very disgusted by the idea.- Jesse assured him. -Most Fleshlings bury the bodies of their dead in dedicated places. Some religions burn them first and bury the ashes, or scatter them. And I think in the past some people threw them into the sea.-

-The ashes?-

-The bodies.-

-To be eaten by the fish?-

-Or the worms in the earth. There's something in the Christian religion about people being made out of earth and being returned to earth after death. Well, men anyway. Women were made out of men's ribs, or something.-

-So are the women eaten, then? To turn them back into part of men?- Razzle asked, but his tone wasn't shocked enough to be taken seriously.

-No, they're buried just like the men. I don't know why. I never paid that much attention to any of it.-

-Why do so many people care about nothing but the here and now?- Razzle asked with a sigh.

Jesse wasn't sure what to make of that question so he ignored it.

-So what happens to the diamond then?- He asked. -It isn't made into jewellery, is it?-

That was a rather macabre thought, but on the other hand Jesse couldn't remember ever having seen Outrider women wearing jewels at all. They seemed to prefer ribbons, beads and apparently wristbands made of plastic and hair.

-It will be taken to the clan's ancestral hall. Hasn't your Afrar ever shown you yours?-

Jesse shook his head.

-I'd ask if we could visit the Uthenesz, but I think that might be taken the wrong way. As if we were suspecting them of hiding something there. I can show you ours if we're ever sent to Rukkat. There's nothing left to see on the War World, I'm afraid. You could ask Jean Claude, though. Perhaps the Elhessare haven't moved theirs yet and they might even consider it a nice gesture if you asked to see the remains of the children killed in the battle of Yuma.-

-I'll ask Marzze if I ever get to Varen again. I had no idea such a room existed the only time I visited and he wasn't exactly eager to show me around. It was Cain that did that and she was only nine at the time. You can't blame her for not knowing what I ought to see.-

-I'm not. I'm quite busy blaming Marzze. For quite a lot of things.-


	15. Chapter 14: The One

Disclaimer 1: This is fanfic. That means I do not own any of it. I just borrow it to play with for a little while and let people see the pathetic results if they really want to.

Disclaimer 2: I'm not making any money from it. It's just for fun.

Disclaimer 3: What isn't borrowed is all made up. None of this is real or most likely at all realistic. Please don't trust any of the information in here. Most likely you know more about whatever I'm writing about than I do.

Disclaimer 4: Attitudes, views and opinions expressed by the characters or in the story are not necessarily those of the author. Even when writing Science Fiction or Fantasy I do not tend to attempt to create perfect/better worlds in which everybody gets a happy end ... or whatever is best for them. Please accept that some characters will have a bad ending or be unhappy.

Disclaimer 5: I intend no insult to anyone. If I offend anyone I'm very sorry. Please understand that it was an accident as I tend to be very clumsy in these things.

Chapter 14: The One

-You wouldn't happen to have a spare glider you could lend me for a few days?- Razzle asked Jesse one evening.

Jesse looked at him piercingly but couldn't work it out. The question had come right out of the blue as far as he was concerned.

-Whatever for?-

Razzle nodded towards the holo-map in the centre of their planning room.

-I'd like to take a look at the Goura lands in person. Ettar is smart, but no genius, Gattler wouldn't choose to play guerilla war of his own accord at all and as for Mohawk.- He snorted. -I should be able to figure out where they are hiding.-

-I probably could if I knew what exactly they have to hide.- Jesse returned -But how do you intend to figure out how they disposed their troops without knowing how many and what kind of troops they have to dispose?-

-Not in exact detail, of course, but I know Ettar, Jesse. I've set up more simulations for him than I have for you. I know how he reacts to every sort of terrain and every sort of unit. If I can get a more detailed idea of the terrain and compare it to the units we've seen and where I ought to be able to reconstruct his plans backwards and get at least a rough idea of what he has and where he's placed it. With a little luck it should be enough to pinpoint his headquarters. I'm not going to get anywhere in a tank on this planet, though. I need something that flies.-

Jesse had brought quite a number of spare vehicles as it happened, though he wasn't sure what conditions they were in. By now when a plane wouldn't start most pilots simply abandoned it and took that of a sick colleague without making a report. And they had sick colleagues aplenty thanks to the lovely climate of Arthame. And despite that Ramszet hadn't been able to get a spare.

-What exactly do you want? I'm not letting you have the Badlander.-

Razzle snorted. -I certainly don't want that. It's so obviously a command vehicle everybody will be staring at it before it even lifts off. I want to see, not be seen, so if you happen to have anything small and stealthy lying around, that'd be perfect.-

-Wrangler-hovers.- Jesse commented. -But if you really mean to cover a whole continent those are too slow.-

Small and agile as they were there was a natural limit to the amount of air resistance a rider mounted on instead of sitting in a vehicle could handle.

-I thought Jatt had some scouts down?- Razzle prompted. -At least I remember him whining about it the other night.-

-Yes, and don't ask me how he managed, but there was more damage to the vehicles than the pilots. We currently actually have more healthy pilots than functional planes in that department. Which, come to think of it, is probably why Jatt was whining in the first place. Besides, those are single man crafts. They don't have room for passengers, so you'd have to be able to fly it yourself.-

-What did you think I was planning to do? Go scouting with a full contingent of staff?-

Jesse eyed him doubtfully. -They're not that similar to cars. Seriously. I once thought I must be able to drive a car, if I am able to fly the Badlander ... until I suddenly found myself having to drive Gattler and Jean-Claude home.-

Razzle laughed. -I used to fly jet-strikers. Granted, I'm probably a bit rusty now and they don't have the same stealth functions, but then I also used to drive a ground scout and I'm not planning to take it into a battle. I'll figure it out.-

-Jet strikers? Why didn't you say that right away? I have half a dozen of those sitting around.-

They were bigger than the scouts and more likely to get noticed, but they made up for that by stronger engines and more fire-power. If Razzle did get attacked in one of those he'd be able to take on or outrun most other vehicles.

-That'll do.- Razzle declared.

-Mind you, it will probably require dusting first.- Jesse warned. -And a full function check. Some of our other spare vehicles refused to start after being parked outside in this climate for a while.-

-Moisture in the fuel lines, dust in the engines ... or possibly pollen or seeds.- Razzle supplied in a bored tone. -If you've neglected to dry them out regularly there might even be moss growing in the guns.-

-Dry them out?- It certainly wouldn't have occurred to Jesse in this heat, but then that was the job of the technicians.

-You really need a tech officer. Or ten. Just give me a plane. I'll get it working.-

-I did try to get one.- Jesse pointed out. -But there weren't any available. Someone appears to be hoarding them.-

-And for good reasons.- Razzle returned with a smirk. -But I can lend you a few to clean out your planes. It'll make a good disciplinary measure.-

Well, that was something Jesse ought to have asked for much sooner anyway. It certainly pleased Jesse enough that he tried to find a fully functional plane, but after some discussions with Ramszet and Nisse he had to settle for one that had only just stopped functioning.

-The report is that it wouldn't start this morning.- Jesse informed Razzle somewhat apologetically at lunch. -Since they couldn't tell me anything more, I'm hoping that it's something minor, but you might want to have a look at it yourself before you agree to take it. You're better able to judge the severity of the problem than me.-

Razzle laughed and agreed to let Jesse fly him over to Gouraland after the meal.

The plane was stuck at one of the smaller posts which probably explained why there had been no mechanic on hand to even look at it so far. He'd have had to take the time to fly or drive over from his actual station which had more than enough other vehicles for him to work on.

Not only that, Jesse realised when the post came in sight, but the plane was parked in such a way that it was blocking the only thing approaching a runway they had, so the mechanic would have had to beg a ride on a small glider or ground vehicle.

-Well, they could have mentioned that.- He commented more to himself.

-Mentioned what?- Razzle asked.

The spare seat didn't offer one much of a view.

-The broken plane's blocking the landing site. Looks like it doesn't roll either.-

-Your troops are a miracle of practicality.- Razzle informed him. -A striker's light enough for three or four men to push out of the way.-

-You expect common soldiers to think that far?-

-Yes.- Razzle stated. -I certainly don't plan minor things like that for them. So where is the next landing site and how much will it delay us to get a car?-

-More than I'm willing to accept.- Jesse snapped. -Unless you aren't up for a walk?-

-You mean to walk over from the next post? Unless the terrain forces the road into a major detour that'll cost even more time.-

-No.- Jesse snorted. -I mean to land wild. It'll be a bit bumpy, but I can manage at the bottom of the hill.-

It wasn't a particularly wise move under the current weather conditions, but there was just enough room to bring the Badlander down without clipping a tree or falling into the creek. It required an abrupt braking manoeuvre, a moment of free-fall and a hasty turn and the ground was uneven, but at least the ship made contact with only two slight bumps. There was a sucking sound and they slid down further than Jesse had expected, but then they were standing still at a bearable inclination.

Razzle gave Jesse a sideward look.

-That didn't feel good.- He announced.

-I had no runway to give you a gentle even descent. Without room you've got to brake abruptly even if it's shaky and this isn't a passenger transport.- Jesse returned mildly annoyed. It had been a difficult manoeuvre and some recognition of his skill would have been nice.

-The bumps aren't the problem.- Razzle replied calmly. -The actual landing was way too soft. You may have gotten us down in a piece, but will you be able to get back up?-

Good question.

-Possibly not without shaving some twigs off that tree ahead, but this ship is tougher than twigs. At worst it'll incur some scratches. You're the last person I'd have expected to mind a tank-style take-off.-

-I don't, but what I meant is that we should check how deep in the mud we've actually sunk and make sure we aren't still sinking. You don't want your ship swallowed by a mud-hole.-

That was indeed a consideration now that Jesse thought of it.

-It has pretty strong thrusters.- He assured Razzle anyway. -I'm not worried until the mud dries and that's not likely to happen anytime soon.-

-You'd better wash the wheels before the mud in there dries in and blocks something as well.- Razzle informed him. -Your thrusters won't help you if they sink deep enough for mud to get in them and if you can't open the hatch anymore ... well, then you'll need heavy salvage equipment. So, let's have a look while we still can.-

Things weren't quite that bad, but Razzle's concerns over the wheels clearly weren't unfounded.

-There, you see, dirty, but not sinking.- Jesse stated anyway.

-Yes, but here's something to ponder before you fly back: You can't wash the wheels here since you can't reach them. If you draw them in while muddy on the flight back you risk the mud blocking the mechanism and the wheels not coming back out for the next landing. You can fly home with the wheels out, of course, but Utheneland is a lot less humid and with dryer air rushing past it the mud will dry pretty quickly. Then you'll have wheels out to land on, but they might not turn once they hit the ground.-

True.

-So I'll make another fee-fall landing.- Jesse decided. -It won't be very elegant or comfortable, but it should get us down without crashing into anything important.-

The hike up the hill took a little longer than Jesse had anticipated as the muddy ground was quite slippery, but they made it without accident.

Jesse went straight to the senior soldier of the post to lecture him on the movability of strikers, but when he glanced around to see whether that had impressed Razzle the older Commander had disappeared. He finally found him under the striker.

-You won't believe this.- Razzle announced when he noticed Jesse's arrival. -There are vines growing inside the wheel and moss in the hydraulic lines. I'm surprised there isn't a colony of slugs setting up camp as well.-

-You mean like the thing I pulled out of Ramszetsz plane?- Jesse asked. -The one he called a miniature Th'Hone?-

-Not quite what I imagined, but then I'm not sure what the native slugs look like around here.- Razzle replied and started reconnecting cables and hoses.

Jesse watched in fascination. From the plane's construction he was pretty sure that these weren't the places they were supposed to go.

After checking the seat of all his new connections Razzle nodded in satisfaction.

-Alright, step back.- He told Jesse then got into the cockpit and started the engine.

It hissed and sputtered a bit, but the plane didn't move. Razzle left it running and came back out again.

-So, anything to see here while we wait?- He asked Jesse.

-Wait for what? What are you doing?-

-For the hydraulic fluid to boil. We'll have to replace it afterwards, of course, and when you use plain water for that these things tend to happen again, but it should take care of the moss infestation for a while.-

-Won't the hoses or tanks burst?- Jesse asked a little worriedly.

-Nah, not as long as the pressure valves are working. Of course, you do need to check that the moss hasn't gotten into those as well, before you do something like this.-

-Don't worry.- Jesse told him. -I couldn't copy this rewiring from memory if I tried. What about the vines?-

-Not safe to touch with the engine running.-

-I see.- Though actually there wasn't much to see or hear now. The striker just stood there making normal engine sounds. -I just lectured the senior, but we could terrorise the pilot for leaving his plane in the middle of the runway.-

The pilot turned out to be the very particularly stupid looking individual Nisse had looked so innocent about during Jesse's first inspection on this planet. Razzle's wit was almost entirely wasted on him, though he did tremble and plead quite satisfactorily.

The green goo that ran out of the hydraulic system after the boiling operation didn't inspire Jesse with confidence that the striker would ever fly again, but a little over an hour later Razzle had it in the air and was heading back to Uthene house.

Jesse returned to the Badlander finding the going much faster, though no less slippery downhill. The mud did indeed cling to the ship forcing him to increase thruster output beyond what he considered wise that close to a tree, but finally he did pull free and nobody saw him tear a whole branch off the tree before he managed to pull up and stabilise his flight path.

He caught up with Razzle midway over the ocean. For a moment he was tempted to race on ahead showing off the Badlander's speed, but on second thought he slowed down remaining beside and slightly behind the striker.

Yes, Razzle did know how to fly this thing which was reassuring. He probably couldn't match a proper striker pilot for fast rolls and turns, but he did make course corrections easily and evenly and there was no reason for him to engage in any areal duelling even if he should be challenged on his mission. It would be the wiser course just to accelerate away back to their own lines where enemy planes would be unwise to follow.

Most likely he wouldn't be chased. The bait planes never were and being out over the mountains alone Razzle would probably be taken for one of them if the enemy did notice him. There was little cause for worry.

-Since I won't be able to be on scene for any unexpected events I'm leaving Kieste in command of my troops.- Razzle informed them that evening at dinner. -And since he is only a Subcommander Jesse will coordinate the troops and have final say in any disagreements if you can't reach me.-

-Huh?- Escaped Jesse.

This was quite unexpected.

-I'm senior.- Lutatz pointed out.

-You're also supposed to be tending to the medical end of things. Jesse has a better overview of the front and I doubt there'll be any disagreements on medical matters. Neither Kieste nor Jesse have any training in that area and must needs defer to you. ... Or do you expect to get into an argument with Hejkaz?-

Subcommander Hejkaz was the least noticeable officer Razzle had brought into their dorm. He barely ever contributed anything to their planning sessions, though his reports were always fast and concise and he seemed to have the administration of his units well in hand.

In fact, perhaps Razzle's remark just now was the key to the question why he kept someone with that little strategic or tactical talent on his staff. Maybe Hejkaz provided the medical expertise Razzle lacked entirely. When he wasn't acting in cooperation with Lutaz or Gattler Razzle would need somebody to advise him in a medical emergency.

Razzle took off on his scouting mission right after breakfast the next morning leaving even the strategy meeting in Jesse's hands. Since Jesse hadn't been prepared for that he merely went over the current situation and positions of their troops with Lutaz and Kieste mostly making sure that Kieste was fully appraised of the latest changes and enemy sightings.

Then he went outside to double check that the Badlander was fully functional and clean again after its mud bath and wipe off the dust that always accumulated on it over night. By now he strongly suspected that it was that dust that he and apparently most of his crew stationed on Utheneland were allergic to and always made sure to wear gloves for the operation. Not wiping it off wasn't an option. Then it would get into the ship the moment he opened the hatch and who knew how hard it would be to get out of the cockpit. He certainly didn't want to take any of the stuff with him when he left the planet.

Since he'd only visited that one tiny post the day before he went on a long inspection flight making sure his troops were still alert for any enemy movements despite not having been attacked since the fighting during their initial landing. Something was bound to happen soon. Ettar couldn't accept the current status quo for long.

At first Jesse felt only mildly interested when he returned from checking his outposts and found the whole house buzzing with excitement, because Saide was having her baby. Of course he was kind of curious to see Gattler's child and it was mildly interesting that it didn't seem to have occurred to anyone to take the mother to be to a hospital as Fleshlings did, but he didn't feel in the least like joining them in rushing up and down corridors, chatting excitedly and hanging around the door behind which the event was apparently taking place hoping to be let in.

It surprised him that people so used to pregnancies would make such a fuss about childbirth.

As far as he knew the event was going to take its good time and afterwards the mother and child would be exhausted and want a good rest, not to have a big party with everybody and their cousins in their room.

Jesse said what he thought was probably polite on such an occasion and went to the strategy room to check the latest reports. With Razzle off scouting and Lutaz apparently having gone to the capital any adjustments to their maps and troop dispositions were up to him right now - unless he felt like asking Kieste or Evar, Lutaz' big and silent second in command to take care of it.

Jesse wasn't sure just how smart Evar was, though he could probably think rings around Ramszet and looked like he had more fighting experience than Jatt and Azpet combined, but he was quite convinced that the task would be in safe hands with Kieste. If he weren't fit to command his troops in his absence, Razzle simply would not have left him in charge or made him second in command in the first place. Razzle clearly knew how to get exactly the sort of staff he wanted, and he wanted them competent, with fully functional brains. The strong and stupid type that was so abundant everywhere else in the Outrider army was a rarity among Razzle's rank and file and nowhere to be found among his officers.

It wasn't like Razzle treated people like Ramszet or Mohawk any worse than he did everybody else, but Jesse was pretty sure that he didn't think very highly of them.

All things considered Jesse assumed that Kieste probably had about the same level of qualification for large scale command as Jean Claude and, if anything, more experience at it. If he hadn't done it in Razzle's absence before, he was sure to have watched Razzle do it often enough.

Jesse didn't feel inclined to give him an opportunity for further practise, though. He was Kieste's superior in rank and command experience and he wanted to be sure they both knew it. It wouldn't do for any of the Subcommanders to stop respecting Jesse just because he was significantly younger than they were.

Besides it was much too soon to see the baby. He'd drop by tomorrow or the day after when the clan was no longer crowding around and the little thing was more likely to be awake and ready to encounter the world. He really preferred older children anyway. One could do things with them once they were able to talk enough to communicate their interests.

-Say, is that normal?- He asked casually when Azpet appeared at his elbow.

-What? The reports?- Azpet looked at the map as if he were expecting a significant change. -They look normal to me, but you're the Commander. I never learned how to read enemy strategies out of them.-

-No, the way they're reacting to the birth. Does your clan get up such a noise over every new arrival as well?-

-Why yes. Why wouldn't we be excited to get a new relative?-

-Because ... because I always thought the mother and child would like to have some peace and quiet, get some time to themselves, maybe with the Afrar, then get some sleep and maybe receive everybody's congratulations in the morning. Besides, Fleshlings have their babies in a hospital with a doctor right there to make sure the baby is healthy or do something about it if it fails to be. Considering how worried these people are about infant mortality I'd have expected them to do rather more than less of that.-

-But all the clan's medically trained members are with her and you should see their birthing room. I swear there's more medical equipment there than in all Lutazsz emergency units combined. That.- Azpet said. -Is not normal.-

-So the hospital's just for the common serfs?-

Azpet shrugged. -Judging from the way they talk around here it's not a place you go at all if there is any way to avoid it. They think they're going to catch something deadly there. That doesn't sound like a good place for a newborn.-

Indeed it didn't and Jesse was suddenly reminded of the nurse that had told Cirke that she shouldn't be in the hospital because she might catch something.

-You'd think they'd know how to quarantine contagious patients.- He remarked and went back to his reports.

About an hour later Erstz Uhrarsz Uthen burst into the planning room gasping and waving his arms in the air as if fighting off invisible demons.

Jesse regarded the old man with a mixture of amusement and bewilderment. Usually the Uthen head doctor was a very calm and quiet man.

-You have to help me!- Erstz gasped. -I can't touch her!-

-Touch whom?- Jesse asked deliberately coolly.

Surely if Erstz had second thoughts about touching Gattler's wife to deliver the baby and was willing to get a layman to do the job, he could at least have asked a woman? Didn't some of the Uthene women have medical training?

-The ... the baby!- Erstz gasped. -She's healthy! Every time I touch her I risk infecting her! You've got to get her off this planet!-

-Excuse me? What?-

-She's healthy, but she could catch the disease from anyone that touches her. Only healthy people must handle her!-

What had he been doing assisting with a birth if he was sick?

-Well, then get somebody healthy to do it.-

-I am. It's got to be you or one of your soldiers. There isn't anybody else in the house that doesn't have the disease.-

-What ...- But no, it was obvious, wasn't it? Erszt had the same illness Gattler had, the illness that had killed Cirke, the illness Moku had been so insistent on vaccinating Jesse against, the illness that had killed all of Gattler's other babies, the illness that made Arthame's hospitals places of death and danger instead of healing. -Get her off this planet? How do you imagine that? I have duties here, I ...-

-Your ship.- Kieste sad unexpectedly and sounding awfully cool and reasonable. -It's very fast, isn't it? It could go back to the Warworld in a single day, couldn't it?-

-There and back again.- Jesse confirmed -With some hours to spare, but only I can fly it and I am alone in command here. Ramszet couldn't command a single striker to strike without instructions, forget responding to an unexpected event or coordinating with other units, Azpet doesn't have the rank or training and Jatt ... might abandon all posts in order to start a wildlife protection society.-

-I won't.- Kieste said.

-Won't what?-

-I'm the most senior Subcommander here and I assure you that I know how to coordinate with all sorts of units. Let me have command and I promise to hold our position long enough for you to fly out the baby.-

-You're not one of my staff. I'd be usurping Razzle.- Jesse remembered only too well what had happened when he'd taken one of Orat's officers without asking permission first.

-There's no usurpation if there's no protest.- Kieste said still sounding so very reasonable.

-Commander Razzle left us with you.- Thamtz pointed out. -And didn't give instructions not to obey you. And he likes you. And he isn't such a control freak to make a fuss over a little thing like that.-

-We'll still all technically be under Commander Lutazsz command.- Azpet observed. -It's just a matter of who's practically commanding the post in his absence.-

The post just happening to be headquarters.

-You're doing this for Gattler.- Kieste stated. -What do you think he'd say if you could ask him?-

Was he talking about Gattler, Lutaz or Razzle now? Either way ...

-The Badlander isn't a passenger shuttle. The baby would need a space suit for the trip. Does such a thing even exist for babies?-

-One of the capsules used to transport wounded soldiers would do.- Erstz assured him. -You'll have to secure her to prevent her from being tossed about inside it of course, but there ought to be straps for that. After all a wounded adult might have an injury that requires holding all of him, or just a particular body part still.-

-Alright. Azpet, contact Lutaz and inform him of the situation. Ask him for permission to borrow that capsule from the medical shuttle outside. Kieste, take temporary command and try to explain it to Razzle as gently as possible if he calls in. Erstz, show me that baby.-

The first sight of the baby was a shock. She was so very tiny! And bloody. And squirming. To Jesse's surprise she wasn't screaming at the top of her lungs as he thought newborn Fleshlings did, but making tiny, high, but not at all piercing sounds that had a more questioning than demanding tone in Jesse's opinion. He reached out for her before he'd fully realised what he was doing and she fell silent immediately and curled into his touch. He pulled her to his chest and looked around for some way to clean her.

-Don't!- Erstz protested when he reached for a towel however. -I've used that on her mother. It isn't sterile. None of our equipment is.-

-She needs cleaning.- Jesse told him. Which one of them was the doctor again? -And maybe some clothes? Milk? Diapers? You can't send her off into space naked and hungry like this.-

Luckily Azpet rushed in just a moment later.

-Commander Lutaz says to get her into the med shuttle and call him from there.- He reported. -He says it has everything you need to transport a baby, but he wants to make sure you know how to use it.-

Since Erstz eagerly agreed that that was a splendid idea Jesse headed for the shuttle with the tiny girl pressed protectively to his chest. Erstz remained behind, but that only worried Jesse for a moment, for the young med-officer that was on duty in the shuttle made delighted hissing noises that Jesse had heard directed at Outrider infants before at the sight of his charge and set right to filling a basin with warm water. She checked the temperature twice before allowing him to put the baby into it and then produced a stock of never before used antiseptic towels.

-Now that's more like it, isn't it?- Jesse asked the baby as he placed her in the water.

-Not really, I'm afraid.- Lutaz's voice commented from the communications station to Jesse's left. -What she's been expecting is to be cuddled against her mother's chest. But this will have to do. Now, if you could come over here for a moment there should be a small capsule next to this monitor. I don't know where exactly since it's out of reach of the camera, so if you could put it in front of the console ...-

It wasn't hard to find. The thing was about the size and shape of a cot-basket.

-Yes, that thing.- Lutaz confirmed when Jesse picked it up. -That's a space capsule for babies.-

Jesse eyed its inside with distaste. -It doesn't exactly look comfortable.-

-I doubt it is.- Lutaz agreed. -To a baby comfortable means skin to skin contact and you can't have that in a space suit. This will ensure she has oxygen, a constant pressure and the right temperature, though. Hetzme will also fill its tank with baby nutrient liquid and put a feeding tube in her mouth. You have to start the pump when she gets hungry, though since she's not old enough to achieve sufficient suction by herself.-

-How do I tell? I have no experience caring for babies, Lutaz. All the children I've ever been asked to mind were able to walk and talk.-

-Well, she'll probably suck at the tube and then squeak plaintively because there isn't anything coming out. Then you twist the purple button on the side. No, the other purple button. Just a tiny little bit mind you, because she's so small. She might get trouble breathing if she gets more nutrient liquid than she can swallow. The ...-

There seemed to be a thousand things that could go wrong when transporting a perfectly healthy baby. Jesse did his best to memorise all the instructions and tried not to wonder what all the other screws, buttons, tubes and levers might be for. If Lutaz didn't mention them, he concluded, they had to be required to treat or examine sick babies in space. The shuttle's primary function was to evacuate the injured from war zones after all, so the capsule had probably been designed to transport sick babies from one hospital to another if the first had to be given up at the approach of an enemy. It was not a standard baby transportation device.

-There.- The med officer said holding the now clean and wrapped up baby out to Jesse again.

He hesitated for a moment, but then accepted her and pulled her close to his chest again. Skin to skin contact, Lutaz had said, so he rubbed his thumb against her cheek gently. She made a strange, but apparently contented sound.

-What's her name?- The woman asked.

-I don't know. She's Gattlersz daughter, though.-

-Just register her as unidentified patient.- Lutaz ordered. -We have more urgent matters to attend to.-

Flying with a newborn turned out to be a lot more difficult than Jesse had imagined at first, though he really ought to have guessed at least some of it easily enough. He needed both hands to operate the Badlander's controls, but he also needed to supervise the capsule and take care of the little one's needs ... which he could only identify by her squeaks and she squeaked all the time, sometimes for no reason Jesse could figure out. Perhaps she simply wanted to get out of the capsule. Jesse was pretty sure that he would not like being locked up in the thing, though it was plenty big enough for her.

Things got a little easier once he was out in open space where there was little steering to do because there were hardly any obstacles in the way, but of course the baby had to start up again just when he reached the Warworld and had to not only pick his way between all the ships there but also negotiate a landing permission.

-Yes, of course I know I'm not scheduled to come here.- He snapped at the unlucky soldier in the control centre. -I'm not planning on staying long. I am merely delivering a hostage.-

-Uuuuhhh ...- made the soldier.

-And as you can probably hear she's a very young and distressed hostage, so if you don't assign me a landing place right now I'll have to land on the first empty surface I see so I can tend to her.-

Considering the size of the Badlander Jesse could think of several roofs that would serve that purpose without running the risk of impeding traffic, but clearly the soldier wasn't aware of the ship's exact dimensions and the precision with which Jesse could land it and took it as a threat to block a major hub of the space port.

-Well, take 90THE11 then!- He barked hastily. -But you've got to clear that within six days. It's scheduled for repairs next week.-

Jesse had no intentions to stay even one day so he just laughed at that and darted into flight tunnel 90THE right over the small space striker rolling out of it. It was impossible to make such things out through two closed cockpits, but Jesse almost thought he could hear the other pilot squeak with surprise and fear.

He couldn't help smiling at that, but lost his smile once he caught sight of 90THE11. The place wasn't just a little scratched up, it practically consisted only of rust and dirt.

-You know.- Jesse told Gattler's daughter as he lifted her capsule out of the ship. -Considering just how many pilots and ships we must have lost to the other side of the war you'd think they'd have better spots than this left empty.-

-You'd think, Sir.- Commented a middle-aged woman who was scrubbing away at the rust-stain that was 90THE10. -But you'd be thinking wrong. They've recalled all our ships from he garrison posts, many of the rebels abandoned vehicles here and they've increased new production to cover the increased number of losses expected during the war. Except that we haven't lost any, yet. So they've reopened parts of the space port that haven't been used in decades.- She gave the rusty ground an angry kick. -We're trying to fix it up as quickly as we can, but we don't seem to be making a dent.-

-But who's to fly all those new strikers?- Jesse demanded. -They are useless without pilots and we can't manufacture those.-

The woman abandoned her work and came over to stand by Jesse's side.

-Well, you probably have a lot better sources of information than I.- She said. -I don't dare judge how much of what I hear is true, but the rumour mill has it that they're opening vapour chambers as fast as they can go and pressing the people in there into service without training.-

-But surely most of the people in them aren't fit to be soldiers, or they'd have been used long ago!- Jesse exclaimed. -And pilots have to be in particularly good health because of the g-forces they're exposed to in battle. You can't take just anyone and put him in a cockpit expecting him to fly.-

The woman shrugged.

-I'm just an ordinary scrub, Sir.- She said. -You go and tell His Nastiness it's nonsense and maybe if you manage to convince him I get to go back to keeping the kitchens clean. They tell me people get sick when the cooks' worktops aren't cleaned properly. It's been worrying me for days.-

-Yes, I know. But I have no time for a yelling match with Nemesis when I don't even have certain facts. I've got to take this little one to the med bay and get back to my post. Maybe I'll leave him a memo about those worktops.- It would certainly amuse Nemesis to be lectured about kitchen hygiene by an under-age half-Fleshling.

The woman peered into the capsule and hissed.

-Aw, what a little cutie! And so tiny! Is she yours?-

-No, actually Gattlersz. Her clan wanted her taken off-world for some medical reasons. I didn't hear an explanation I can understand, but I expect the doctors here will, and she sure makes a good hostage.-

-Oh, but the poor little mite!-

-She's a noble-born baby.- Jesse pointed out. -And I'm taking her to a doctor, not a torturer. Nobody's going to do her any harm.-

-Well, I suppose if she's so sick they can't treat her on her home world ...-

-Arthamesz hospitals are awful.- Jesse confirmed. -I've seen them. She'll be much better off here.-

Moku just stared at Jesse when he arrived in the med bay with the baby capsule.

-She's Gattlersz daughter.- Jesse explained.

Moku yelped, cast a panicked look around and then relaxed again.

-Then why the hell did you bring her here?- He demanded. -Why isn't she on Arthame with her mother where she belongs?-

-She ... well, I don't quite understand that myself, but the Uthen clan doctor said that she's healthy and would get sick if I didn't take her off-world right away. They wouldn't abuse one of their own children as a weapon against us, would they?-

Of course it had been rather odd that Erstz hadn't wanted to touch the baby himself, but all Jesse knew about Outriders in general and the Uthene in particular pointed towards their loving children especially those of their own clan. This baby was the legitimate daughter of one of their most high-ranking clan members, born noble. It would be completely insane to harm her.

-Healthy?- Moku yelped suddenly. -Healthy you say? But that is almost impossible. A healthy child if both parers are sick ...-

-That's what I was told.- Jesse confirmed. -I'm no doctor.-

But Moku didn't pay any further attention to his words. He practically tore the baby out of Jesse's hands and started to examine her.

-Hey, careful with those needles!- Jesse tried to protest. -Can't you see how tiny she is!-

-Why, she really is healthy!- Moku exclaimed ignoring the protest entirely. -A pity she isn't a boy. She can't carry on the Uthen name if she marries out of the clan and that'll be the only reasonable thing for her to do. If she marries a healthy man she will have healthy children who are likely to live. That will carry on Gattlersz bloodline at least, even if the clan still must die out. He'll be delighted to hear you saved her. It's always been his biggest wish to have a child survive and now he's got one with a guarantee. I dare say he probably never even dreamed of that. What's her name?-

Jesse shrugged. -If they'd already chosen a name they never told me. I'll ask her mother when I get back. Expect to hear from me in the next mail batch from Arthame.-

-No, we can't do that.- Moku insisted. -She must have a name now. I must register her as a patient right away. If they didn't give her a name yet you must do it.-

-What me? Name Gattler's precious only surviving child? He'll want to do that himself, choose a name he considers worthy for someone so special. If you insist on naming her now you'll have to pick it.-

A pity Razzle wasn't here. If Razzle didn't know what Gattler had chosen or at least considered in the past then he'd at least be sure to know what sort of names Gattler might like. Perhaps something traditional using the name of Gattler's favourite god? But Jesse didn't even know which god that would be.

-You have more right being her saviour and his former dorm-mate. Besides you're a Commander. That'll honour her.-

-But Moku, I was raised by Fleshlings. I'm not at all familiar with Outrider naming traditions. I don't know how to pick a good Outrider name.- What if he ended up calling her something embarrassing or offensive, or something that they found hard to pronounce, like Jesse or Jean Claude?

-Then pick a really good Fleshling one.- Moku suggested. -That is perfectly acceptable. Just think of Jean Claude or Nemesis. Those are both Fleshling names and nobody's complained yet.-

-Actually people complain that they can't pronounce Jean Claude all the time.- But at least he was beginning to actually think of names. -Would it still honour her if I named her after myself? There's a female version of Jesse: Jessica. Does that sound pronounceable?-

-It doesn't work.- Moku said shaking his head. -All children of the same father must share the same first letter even if they are dead. We need a name starting with U.-

U? For a moment Jesse thought that he knew no girl names starting with U at all. There was Ulric for boys, of course ... Ulrika? No, that was too ugly. Ursula, the little she-bear? The bear had potential, but most likely a proper Outrider woman would resent being called little once she was fully grown. Ursa then? Jesse still didn't think it particularly pretty, though. Was that really good enough for Gattler's child, most likely the only one he'd ever see grow up to adulthood, the only healthy one ... and apparently the one and only healthy member of her clan?

The one?

-Una!- He exclaimed -That's it. She'll be Una.-

-Una.- Moku tried it out. -A bit short, but not hard to say. Maybe you could ad another syllable?-

-No!- Jesse snapped. -The name is Una. U, N, A. It means the one. You can't add anything to that.-

Moku nodded. -Una Gattlersz Uthen is longer than she is right now anyway. Now, let me see. Where should we put her. She doesn't need to be kept here for medical treatment, but she can't return home until she's had all her vacations. Being separated from her mother isn't good for her. We need someone to mother her for a while, but someone who won't adopt her ...-

-Who is even still on this world?- Jesse asked growing a little worried. Maybe he'd have done better to take her to Rukkat after all. -Of the civilian population I mean.-

-I'm not completely ...-

-Commander Jesse!- A shrill voice shouted.

Jesse turned around. A blue skinned Outrider in the uniform of a Subcommander stood in the door. She looked vaguely familiar, but Jesse couldn't place her.

-Now who the hell are you?- He demanded.

-His Nastiness wants to see you.- She panted ignoring his question. -Now. He's furious.-

-And he sent you? Who are you?-

-Never mind. Just come.- She looked frantic.

-You're part of Nemesiszs staff?- Jesse tried again.

She obviously wasn't Nemo. Why would Nemesis send anyone else and why did she look familiar? Jesse didn't remember ever seeing any female staff members around Nemesis. Or a lot of staff members of any kind. If you thought about it Nemesis was pretty self-sufficient for a tyrant.

-Oh ... I'm Subcommander Thekre and Commander Gaspar sent me. Please do come, Commander! It's in your own best interest not to make His Nastiness any more mad at you than he already is.-

-That is up for discussion.- Jesse declared. -So far he's always seemed amused by my disrespect.-

He did go with Thekre, but at a much more leisurely pace than the Subcommander would have preferred. Thekre ... of Gaspar's troops? Yes, he thought he remembered her now. She was rather junior, though, most likely the youngest and lowest ranking of Gaspar's Subcommanders, though Jesse wasn't completely sure of it. He had never paid much attention to Gaspar's staff.

Maybe he should have, though. Gaspar was his dorm-mate, but they had never been that close. Perhaps someday their relationship might turn into something more dangerous and then it would be better if Jesse knew the players on Gaspar's side as well as his own.

Right now however, Gaspar was on his side. Jesse could easily tell that by the worried look his fellow Commander gave him as he entered the strategy room.

Nevertheless Jesse strolled past Gaspar casually and gave Nemesis the very slightest bow that would still be considered an appropriate greeting.

-You wanted to see me?-

-No Jesse, I did not.-

-Oh well, then I have been misinformed.- Jesse said and turned around to leave again. -Please excuse the interruption. I'll go back to minding my own business then.-

-Stop!- Nemesis hissed so sharply that several of the other people present jumped.

Jesse turned around again and spread his arms in a gesture of confusion.

-What now, do you want to see me or don't you? I'm willing to please you either way, but you must tell me which one.-

-I do not want you here!- Nemesis thundered. -I want you on Arthame. Which is where I ordered you. So why are you here?-

Ah that. How had Nemesis found out that he was here in the first place anyway?

-Why of course my post is on Arthame and I'll return there presently. I merely brought you a valuable hostage. As it is merely a trip of a few hours and Commander Lutaz remains to deal with any unexpected events on Arthame I judged that it was perfectly safe to make the delivery myself in my spare time.-

-Hostage? I did not ... What do you mean Lutaz? Were is Razzle?- Nemesis demanded.

-Why also on Arthame, but currently on the other continent. There are two, you see. We have our main base on the one that belongs to the Uthene to keep an eye on them. The enemy seems to be more active on the other at the moment, though, and Razzle has gone over there to try to narrow down the location of their main base. Therefore it is Lutaz that I left in charge of my troops on the Uthenesz land.-

-I did not order you to take hostages and certainly not to deliver them in person.- Nemesis hissed clearly already a little mollified. He was no longer shaking with fury.

-No you didn't. The Uthene handed her over voluntarily as a demonstration of their goodwill, you might say.-

-Her?-

-Una Gattlersz Uthen. Gattlersz newborn daughter. A healthy daughter I should probably add. I am told that makes her close to the most precious thing the clan owns. You have to admit that that merits special safety precautions in her delivery.-

-A healthy daughter you say?- Nemesis almost purred. -Now that does have potential. Where have you placed her?-

-Well, right now Moku has her. We were just discussing what clans still have a civilian presence here when I was told that you had sent for me. I assume that you do not wish her to remain in the barracks.-

-Most certainly not.- Nemesis confirmed -Nor should she be carried off to Rukkat however. I will arrange something. You however will return to Arthame. Immediately!-

Jesse bowed. -That was the plan.-

Damn it, though. Now he'd lost the child. Though of course there never had been any hope of keeping her himself. He couldn't have taken her to battle with him or have left her in the care of any of his soldiers and his only civilian support right now was the reluctant promise of the Elhessare. Sure he could have given Una to them, but they'd have kept her for their own purposes. Most likely Jean Claude would have adopted her on the spot. That didn't seem like a bad thing at first glance, but he'd probably have insisted on raising her in the traditional style of his clan and left Istar to handle her battle training. One of these days he'd have to ask Jean Claude whether the rumours that Istar had killed one of his own children in such a training session were true. In some innocent, completely relaxed and not at all accusing way. Because he was sure to manage that ...

-Maybe I just ought to ask Nemesis.- He muttered to himself.

-What?- Gaspar had followed him out?

-Nothing, just having some sarcastic thoughts. Did you need anything from me?-

-Nah just ... Do you realise how close you came to landing in a vapour chamber today?-

Was Gaspar honestly worried?

-Hardly. We're too short of Commanders and troops as it is. If he's going to do anything to one of us right now it'll be something that will allow us to continue fighting. That can't be too scary, can it?- he grinned at Gaspar, but only got a frown in return.

-Don't joke about it. He could ... take your troops away and give you some bungling idiots he can't get anyone else to accept ...-

-I've already got the least intelligent officers in the army. Anything else he could give me would probably be an improvement.-

-Or he could put you in isolation, separate you from your dorm-mates, and all other dorm-mates.-

Jesse laughed. -Yes, I know. I used to live in an isolation quarter, remember? My little Fleshling habitat Razzle used to call it. I was perfectly happy there.-

-Ik.- Gaspar said probably in reference to the reminder of Jesse's Fleshling half. -Well, he'll think of something if you keep provoking him. Be careful, Jesse.-

-Yeah, sure.- Just why did that worry Gaspar in the first place?

Sometimes Jesse still didn't get how Outrider minds worked. 


	16. Chapter 15: Tales and Geologists

Disclaimer 1: This is fanfic. That means I do not own any of it. I just borrow it to play with for a little while and let people see the pathetic results if they really want to.

Disclaimer 2: I'm not making any money from it. It's just for fun.

Disclaimer 3: What isn't borrowed is all made up. None of this is real or most likely at all realistic. Please don't trust any of the information in here. Most likely you know more about whatever I'm writing about than I do.

Disclaimer 4: Attitudes, views and opinions expressed by the characters or in the story are not necessarily those of the author. Even when writing Science Fiction or Fantasy I do not tend to attempt to create perfect/better worlds in which everybody gets a happy end ... or whatever is best for them. Please accept that some characters will have a bad ending or be unhappy.

Disclaimer 5: I intend no insult to anyone. If I offend anyone I'm very sorry. Please understand that it was an accident as I tend to be very clumsy in these things.

Chapter 15: Tales and Geologists

-Where were you?- Mohawk demanded the moment Gattler slipped out into the clearing. Had he been waiting?

-Here.- He replied grumpily.

This really wasn't his day. Or his week. Or his month. In all probability it would turn out not to be his year. Politics sucked.

-No, you weren't.- Mohawk told him. -I looked.-

-Why? Did you need anything?-

-He asked.- Mohawk said. -And he's angry with you. I can tell.-

Surprisingly observant for Mohawk.

-I'm not pleased with him either.-

-But he's His Nastiness now, isn't he?- Mohawk asked. -And that's good for us?-

Sometimes Mohawk could ask surprisingly difficult questions. At least if you wanted to answer them definitely enough for Mohawk to understand.

-I don't know, Mohawk. I think right now nobody knows who His Nastiness is. It's not Nemesis anymore, at least not for us here, but we haven't had champions or a tournament, have we? So, I suppose he hasn't been determined yet.-

-When will we do that? We can't be without a Nastiness, can we?-

Gattler shrugged. He wasn't sure of anything right now, especially not that any of this was good for ... well, anyone at all.

-I suppose after we win? Then we'll have the tournament hall and the throne room. I don't know what we'd use for those if we had it now.-

-And the elector clans.- Mohawk said. -Can't have the tournament without them. Need them to elect the champions. And they won't elect until Nemesis is dead. ... Are we going to kill Nemesis Gattler?-

-I suppose so. Or maybe we can put him in a vapour chamber instead? Or lock him away? I don't know, but we won't need the elector clans for the tournament. We're going to have it with people of our own clans.-

Mohawk frowned.

-Will the elector clans let us? I don't think they'll like that.-

Gattler laughed bitterly. -Why do you think they're fighting us?-

Mohawk blinked. -They want Arthame because they need food.-

-Yes, but they need the food, because we've stopped selling it to them and we've stopped selling it to them, because they won't let one of us be His Nastiness.-

Mohawk pondered that. It was hard work.

-Do you think I can be His Nastiness? That'd be fun.-

-I don't know. Razzle always said it would be terribly lonely. You have to live in isolation you know. I always thought Nemesis was doing alright at the job and he's quite welcome to the loneliness as far as I'm concerned.-

-You don't want to be His Nastiness?-

-No, never did.- Except when he'd been a little boy dreaming of all sorts of impossible things he'd do when he was grown up. It had been a very long time ago.

-Then why are you fighting them?-

-Because ... Oh, to hell with it Mohawk! I'm fighting them because my Afrar told me to. It's as simple as that.-

-They've got your clan now.- Mohawk pointed out. -And all your good land. Just jungle left. You can just go back to your clan and tell them you don't want to be His Nastiness. You can sell them their food.-

-So could you.- Gattler pointed out. -Why don't you?-

Why didn't they both?

Of course house Goura hadn't been quite as unlucky as house Uthen, but they had been driven out of their house and orchards into the jungle.

-My Afrar says I can't.-

Gattler laughed again. -They're stubborn fellows, Afrare.-

-They are. You know, I don't really want to be His Nastiness either. I just want to see my Brunhilda.-

-Oh, I'm sure nobody will ever suggest an idiot like you to become His Nastiness.- A sneering voice declared. -The very thought is ridiculous.-

It was true of course, but still Gattler couldn't let it stand.

-Mohawk is a strong fighter, Ettar.- He pointed out somewhat weakly. -If he did get into the tournament he'd have as good a chance as any of us.-

Why was he defending Mohawk? He couldn't explain it himself, but somehow Ettar's cold dismissal of their fellow Commander nettled. He shouldn't be antagonising Ettar.

-He'll never get into a tournament.- Ettar said coldly. -There won't be any more tournaments. They are much too random. All they test are personal fighting ability and the rest is determined by luck alone. We're going to introduce a better system, one that will choose the best leader. It doesn't take personal fighting skills for that. When does his Nastiness ever fight himself?-

-The elector clans won't like that.- Mohawk said.

-There won't be any elector clans anymore, Mohawk.- Ettar said.

-What do you mean to do with them, though?- Gattler asked. -Kill them all?-

-Only those that resist us.- Ettar declared. -It's difficult to eradicate an entire clan completely, that's true. But there's no need to kill the civilians and mere children. It is only the soldiers that we need to worry about and they too will bow to us once they see they have no other hope. They will bow or they will die.-

-But the children will grow up to be soldiers and they will hate us.- Another lesson he'd learned from Razzle long ago, but he was learning not to mention his name in front of Ettar. -They'll want to take revenge for us taking the power of their clans and the lives of their kin.-

-Let them hate us.- Ettar said. -We cannot prevent that. But we can prevent them becoming soldiers. Children from elector clans will be excluded from attending the Warrior Academy and thus the problem will solve itself within a generation or two.-

But if a clan had no more soldiers ...

-You would have us take the noble status of the elector clans? The very oldest nobility we have?- Gattler demanded.

-Perhaps.- Ettar said. -Or perhaps that of all the old blood. There is no decision on that yet, nor can there be a this point. We'll have to see how much they resist us.-

-But that's ... Those clans are ancient, Ettar!- All those traditions ...

-And what is that to us? Ancient clans that hold us back. The times have changed and we need to change with them. The old traditions are just getting in our way. What is it to us anyway? Your clan is the youngest of all. Where's your grand tradition?-

In his swords, but Ettar would not understand that.

-It's not my clan we're talking about eradicating.- Gattler said instead.

-Ah of course, it's Razzle again, isn't it? Can't you see that what we're doing is much bigger and more important than any one person? Sure it's a pity if we must sacrifice Razzle to the progress of our race. He might be well worth having. If he'd been born into another clan ... but then Razzle is old. He's had quite an exciting life, done more than most. And he might not have to die.-

-He won't turn traitor.- Gattler snapped before he realised what exactly he was saying. Damn, but he could relativate it. -His honour is bound to his loyalty to his Afrar just as ours are to our Afrare, and his clan is bound to support Nemesis to the end, even if it is all just by coincidence of birth.-

-True.- Ettar confirmed -There's nothing to be gained in addressing Razzle directly. But once Nemesis is eliminated, dear old Thek might be convinced that he is free to choose a new path. If there is no elector clan Nastiness to follow and his Afrar bowing to us Razzle will be free to join us as well.-

As representative of a doomed clan. Gattler knew what that felt like and wasn't sure whether Razzle who hadn't been born into that situation wouldn't prefer death. Then again, Razzle could always retire and retreat to Rukkat if he so chose, or if he really preferred death, Gattler was pretty sure Razzle knew where to find it. If he did accept a place in Ettar's army it would be by his own choice. 'In your face. I'm still here and you can't do without me.' had been Razzle's attitude to Amiss' regime. It might well serve him just as well under Ettar.

He shouldn't have to go back to that, though. Razzle had earned his place and people's respect the hard way and should not be made to do it over again.

-Now, where have you been?- Ettar demanded suddenly. -I wanted you a while ago, but you were nowhere to be found.-

Maybe he should have kept the conversation going useless as it was. Oh well, it was too late now and he had done nothing wrong.

-Whomever you sent for me can't have looked very hard. I was in the cave. There's nothing wrong with that, is there? I can't think of any place I'd be less likely to draw the attention of enemy spies.-

-The cave?- Ettar repeated as if he'd said something completely unnatural.

-You should have sent someone there to look. They'd have found me quickly enough. I wasn't hiding.-

-But what were you doing in there when there were no enemy strikers overhead?-

-Our vehicles are in there.- Gattler pointed out.

-And you're not supposed to go for a flight that might give away our position. Nor are you qualified to check the maintenance status of your vehicles as far as I know.-

-No.- Gattler admitted. -But there are other things in there.-

-Like what?- Ettar demanded.

-The shrine!- Mohawk exclaimed as if at a sudden revelation. -Is your favourite god, isn't he. Should have remembered.-

-He's all our favourite right now.- Gattler stated. -Or we are his favourites, perhaps. At least we ought to be.-

-You're crazy.- Was Razzle's greeting when Jesse jumped out of the Badlander in front of Uthen house.

-You're back.- Jesse returned. -Did you find anything?-

Razzle nodded. -I think I know their approximate location. What I don't know is what attracts them to the area. That would tell me where exactly their headquarters are. They have to be in an area of jungle about about nineteen orthek Northwest of Goura house and that doesn't make sense unless there's some object that they are using there. According to our maps there are no buildings, no orchards, no roads, no walls ... you get the idea. At best they should have a few animal trails.-

-Do we have a topographic map of the area? Maybe it's simply a particularly well defensible position? They might use it for a hospital or to keep an escape route in their back? What about landing options? Could it be used as a natural space port?-

-Dense forest with a few clearings. You'd find plenty of landing spots for your little ship no doubt, but an average troop shuttle would already find it pretty tricky.- Razzle returned. -Ettarsz ship would only just manage, Gattlersz doesn't stand a chance. The terrain is mountainous to boot, though that does make it more defensible. Still, I wouldn't put a hospital where I can't land enough shuttles to airlift my wounded out in a hurry if my defences are overrun and I'd like them to have a roof over their heads as well.-

-Could they be using a large number of very small vehicles?-

-Hardly. They wouldn't be able to collect them without it being noticeable from above despite the trees. They've got to park them where there's room on the ground after all. Ettar probably has his ship there, though. It's not that much bigger than yours and a single ship will find a place that's hidden from view without too much difficulty. It's the large numbers required to evacuate an entire hospital that there isn't likely to be room for.-

-Cover from above, a roof overhead and mountainous terrain.- Jesse repeated thoughtfully. -What does your map say about caves?-

-Nothing. Which is surprisingly little, but I think some kinds of rock are less likely to have them than others.-

-What kind of rock are we dealing with?-

Razzle shrugged. -What kinds are there exactly? I've seen very different looking ones on different planets, but I can't name them.-

-Don't any of the maps say?-

-I don't know. It never occurred to me that they should or that we could do anything with the information. Can you? I didn't think you had the vocabulary.-

-I don't, but once I have the word I can try my dictionary. Or run a computer search and see whether I find a text I can manage. Come to think of it, you can read, can't you?-

Razzle snorted. -Of course I can read. Do I look five years old to you?- -Ramszet doesn't look five years old either.- Jesse pointed out. -And if he could read, I expect he'd be able to find where it says 'on' on a holo-projector. Since he's never been able to turn one on in his first attempt I conclude that not all adult Outriders can read.-

Razzle rolled his eyes. -Your staff leaves a lot to be desired. I assure you nobody remains under my command for more than a fortnight, if he can't read the basic manual for his equipment.-

-Should have guessed that. But I actually meant whether you can read a text my Outrider vocabulary can't handle. Something with really unusual words in it.-

-Without wanting to boast? I suspect that I have the biggest vocabulary among what's left of the old blood. Not because I'm extraordinarily gifted or anything, but because I'm curious, I'm old and all the actually gifted ones are gathering dust in vapour chambers. I've read a little on a wide variety of subjects that most soldiers don't bother with and I like old texts that you young folk find too out-dated. Our language has sadly deteriorated since Amiss packed all the scientists and artists away.-

Jesse snorted. -Whatever. We'll find out what the rock is called, run a search for whatever the computer can find about it and then you get to try to figure out what it actually means, because I'd probably overwork the dictionary.-

-I'll write you a summary. With a special geological glossary attached.-

-You don't have that vocabulary yourself.-

-Which is why I'll be making that glossary.-

Back in the strategy room however they soon had to admit defeat. They didn't have a geological map.

-Alright. Do we have a geologist?- Jesse asked the group that had gathered around the projector.

-The Uthene might.- Jatt offered.

-If they don't.- Kieste said. -The mining company in the capital surely does.-

-Those will be colonist geologists.- Razzle pointed out. -We can't trust them.-

-So, is there anyone among our troops? At least a hobby geologist?- Jesse tried again.

-Go and ask.- Razzle told Kieste. -It's worth a try. Don't get your hopes up, though.- He continued to Jesse. -Most of them grew up on the Warworld. It's not exactly a worthwhile hobby there.-

-Well, if we don't have one here we'll just have to send for one. What do we have all those free-loading scientists back on the Warworld for?-

-Mostly to research weapons and design better military vehicles. Amiss put everybody that didn't have an immediate military use in storage. And I do mean everybody. Not that the Warworld ever produced a lot of geologists in the first place. Metallurgists maybe.-

It was the second time today that Razzle had mentioned Amiss and since Jesse had nothing better to do while they were waiting for Kieste and Azpet to return with the information they required he gave in to his curiosity.

-What was he like?-

-Who?- Razzle asked a bit too innocently.

-Amiss. I've read his name on old reports, but nobody ever really talks about him. You must have known him, though. Both of you.- He added with a glance at Lutaz. -So what was he like? Did you like him?-

-No.- Lutaz said emphatically.

-And that's coming from a guy that had little direct contact with him and was mostly left alone.- Razzle amended.

-So?- Jesse prompted. -Was he better or worse than Nemesis?-

Or should he better not have hinted that Nemesis could be bad at anything?

Lutaz laughed. -There's a reason people don't talk about him anymore, Puppy. There's nothing to talk about. The guy was ...- He looked at Razzle for help.

-I'm biased- Razzle stated. -Very biased.-

-Why?- Jesse asked. -He wasn't of your clan.-

-Thank all the gods for that! Though perhaps ... no. Puppy, if you think my relationship with Istar is problematic ... Well, I'd gladly have had Istar instead of Amiss and he's probably the worst candidate for the position alive. Amiss wasn't just plain nasty, he was downright allergic to anyone being smarter than him. He wouldn't take advice from anyone and most of what he did he did out of spite. That's the opinion of his favourite whipping boy. He may have had redeeming qualities, but I never bothered to find out.-

-You might want to ask Cuth.- Lutaz offered. -He and Amiss got on pretty well.-

-You'd really consider Istar as a candidate for His Nastiness?- He'd certainly deserve the title in the literal sense, but ...

-I expected him to succeed Amiss, actually. He would have been Elhessarsz obvious choice of candidate and in the tournament itself he'd have been invincible.- Razzle replied.

-And you'd have been Tairasz obvious choice. Neither of you made an appearance on the day, though.- Lutaz remarked. -Care to tell me why?-

Razzle stared at Lutaz obviously dumbstruck. It was not an expression Jesse had seen on him often.

-Lutaz ... Me? ... I ... Taira would sooner forfeit than nominate a bastard.-

-Well, they certainly blew it.- Jesse stated.

Razzle, he thought, would have made a very good Nastiness indeed.

-Hardly.- Both Razzle and Lutaz replied.

-Somebody would have been sure to contest my nomination, which only would have been an embarrassment to my clan.-

-Hardly.- Lutaz repeated. -At least it never occurred to anyone on our side. Maybe if you'd won and we'd have seen any advantage in a rerun, but it wouldn't have come to that. We too expected Istar to win and you hardly could have beaten Nemesis hand to hand either. A Taira victory wasn't in the cards that round no matter whom they picked. But even if it had been I don't see how any contest could have been successful. There's no rule that says the champion even has to be a member of the clan that nominates him, so parentage hardly matters. Taira had stupid concerns. What about Istar, though? Nobody could contest his birth.-

Razzle shrugged. -I think I once heard someone mention that he declined. Which would be unexpectedly wise of him, but maybe he had some help figuring it out. Unlike Amiss he isn't one to refuse advice out of hand.-

-But why would he decline if he was sure to win?- Jesse asked.

-Most likely because he expected Nemesisz victory. He'd trained him himself and must have known just how good he was even if the rest of us didn't. He also must have known that Nemesis would favour Elhessar. What he'd have needed somebody else to point out is that the position would be more to Nemesisz liking than his own.-

-That's awfully selfless for Istar.- Jesse remarked doubtfully.

-No, not at all.- Razzle disagreed. -It isn't a pleasant life, Puppy. It means that you have to live in almost constant isolation. And for Istar it would also have meant that he'd have to give up what he loved most: fighting. At least against real opponents. Somebody pointed that out to him and he decided he didn't want the job. Come to think of it, I probably would have declined as well, at least if I'd known Nemesis would win. If I'd been expecting Istar and thought I had a chance ... I don't know.-

\- So you're ... what? Pleased with Nemesis or pleased to see him suffer?- Jesse asked.

-Pleased with Nemesis. He's a lot better than I ever hoped for.-

-So there's nothing you think you could have done better?- Jesse pushed.

Razzle shrugged. -There'll always be things you wish had been done differently. I could come up with a list of them, sure, but Nemesis has the intelligence and the right values and he doesn't seem to have anything against me personally either. He doesn't even complain about my reports.-

-Why would he complain about your reports?- Lutaz asked looking slightly perplexed.

-Well, both his predecessors always did. Graszta once told me if he wanted a list of battle formations he'd check the lexicon. As if that little single volume excuse for a dictionary he kept on his desk would have had any information about them.-

-You reported your formations in detail?- Jesse asked incredulously.

-After every manoeuvre and inspection.- Razzle returned with a smirk. -How else would His Nastiness ever have known what manoeuvres are for?-

-And you're doing Nemesis the same favour?- Jesse grinned. So he wasn't the only one that ever teased Nemesis after all!

-I may have gone a little further with Nemesis at times.- Razzle allowed.

-Further in what way?- Lutaz demanded. -Listing the exact positions of individual soldiers?-

-I may have reported a battle in hexameters once. He didn't complain, but then it had been a particularly dull little affair and he might have died of boredom if I'd just listed the facts of the matter.-

Kieste reported back about an hour later.

-We don't have any geologists or hobby geologists.- He informed Razzle. -There is, however, a son of a geologist among Ramszetsz troops.-

Ramszet nodded proudly.

-The son of a geologist, but he became a soldier?- Razzle returned clearly not sharing his enthusiasm.

-Well, he clearly lacks the brains to make it through the Science Academy.- Kieste said with a shrug. -And he has quite the disciplinary record, but he claims to know the vocabulary and have an idea of the properties of different kinds of rocks.-

-Fine.- Razzle sighed. -Is there anything he should be doing urgently for the rest of the day?-

-Watching a sensor monitor during the first nightshift.- Kieste replied without even glancing at Ramszet.

He clearly had been prepared for the question.

-Find somebody else for that, just in case we aren't done by then and send him and all the geological information we have on Gouraland to me.-

-He'll need some time to fly here.- Ramszet remarked.

-Well, then get on it!- Razzle snapped at him. -The sooner he starts the sooner he'll be here.-

Ramszet jumped and dashed out of the room.

-The red button first, Ramszet!- Jesse yelled after him. -Then the ones with the numbers on.-

Razzle gave him a look.

-He forgets.- Jesse reminded him with a shrug. -And he hates buttons. He even blames them for Yuma.-

-Lucky for you, I guess.- Razzle remarked dryly.

-Oh, he does get that it was my mistake.- Jesse admitted. -He just thinks I could not have made it if the computer hadn't had buttons to push.-

-Right.- Razzle agreed. -I'm sure if we used levers or voice commands the end result would have been completely different.-

-Levers for computer control?- Jesse asked slightly taken aback by that concept.

-It's technically feasible.- Razzle informed him. -As are dials, but I suspect both would be less practical than buttons ... though to be sure we'd have to run long-term trials to give people time to change their habits.-

Jesse just shook his head over the idea and went outside to find himself a shady spot under the Badlander.

Much to his surprise he found Nosthz sitting on the hot sunny ground next to Razzle's tank.

-Just what are you doing there?- Jesse demanded sharply.

-Waiting for Commander Razzle, Sir.- The boy replied meekly. -He said he'd tell me of another adventure on strange worlds once he had time. And I've finished all my work for today.-

-I'm afraid he doesn't have time, though. He has ... a meeting that he expects might last well into the night.- Jesse told the boy.

Better not to let on what exactly they were looking into to the natives since they still had a leak somewhere.

-I see. I'm sorry, Sir.- Nosthz said getting up and brushing the dust off his skin and clothes.

-Why were you waiting in the sun, though?- Jesse asked slightly curious. -It's cooler under the tank.-

Nosthz nodded towards the guards by the door.

-The soldiers don't like it if we go that close when Commander Razzle isn't there to watch us, Sir. I suppose we might get the tank dirty.-

-I see.- Jesse replied managing to suppress a laugh at the naive idea. As if their biggest worry was a little dirt. -We are all a bit fussy about our vehicles, I admit. They are very complicated and expensive machinery and not easy to repair.-

-But you can wash dirt off, can't you?- Nosthz asked regarding his filthy bare feet a little worriedly.

-As long as it doesn't get too deep into the machinery to reach, yeah.- Jesse agreed. -But I recently saw a plane that had plants start to grow inside its hoses. That took some hours to fix and you can probably imagine that the pilot wasn't happy when he wanted to take off.-

Nosthz nodded.

-I'll wash before the next time I get in the tank. I promise!- He said.

-I don't think you have to do that if Razzle never demanded it before.- Jesse assured him. -Just dust off well and don't touch anything he doesn't tell you to.-

-Oh, I never do that anyway.- The boy replied earnestly. -It's not my gear.-

-You could have waited under a tree, though.- Jesse suggested. -It's shady there and you'd still have seen Razzle come out.-

-But he wouldn't have seen me.- Nosthz stated as if that explained everything.

-Well, since Razzle isn't coming out and I am here now, maybe you'd like to come and sit under my ship with me?- Jesse suggested. -I haven't seen as many worlds as Razzle, but enough for a few tales.-

Noszth nodded eagerly and followed Jesse to the Badlander.

-I thought that this is a plane, though?- He asked a little timidly. -I mean, it has wings and it isn't in water.-

-It's a spaceship that can also function as a plane.- Jesse explained. -It's not fit for use in water, though, so I keep it dry.-

-You'll need to cover it then.- Nosthz warned. -The rainy season could start any moment now.-

-Ah yes.- Jesse smiled. -We're already seeing that on Gouraland. Our vehicles can handle it without cover, but it does require increased checking and drying. Now, what sort of story would you like to hear?-

-If you have a spaceship, do you go into space much?-

-Yes, that's what the ship is for.-

-Will you tell me what it's like to travel through space then?-

-I should probably thank you.- Razzle told Jesse with a suspicious smirk that evening at dinner.

Jesse narrowed his eyes. -Why?-

What mistake had he made now?

-Gattlersz daughter. That was really kind and thoughtful of you.-

-I just did what I was asked to.- Jesse reminded him. -They wanted me to take her off the planet at any cost. So I did and then I lost her to Nemesis.- He shrugged. -Not that I could have kept her. Where would I have left her?-

-See, that's what a clan is for.- Razzle pointed out.

-Yes well, my clan is currently unavailable unless I want to hand myself over to the enemy. I could have taken her to the Elhessare, of course, but get her back from them?-

Razzle snorted.

-Exactly. So I let Nemesis have her. He has every reason to treat her well and I suppose it will make little difference to Gattler whether she's in his hands or mine.-

-You might be surprised.- Razzle said. -But Nemesis gave her to my wife, which displeases nobody ... except possibly Ettar, but pleasing him wasn't high on anyone's list.-

-You think Gattler's pleased with us having his daughter?- That certainly was a surprise.

-We've never talked about it.- Razzle admitted.-I don't think he ever considered the possibility of having a healthy child. But think about it: Leaving her here would expose her to infection and death, and it's close to a miracle that Uthen has been granted a healthy child at all. A pity it isn't a boy to save the clan, but Una will keep their bloodline alive. So he must get her off the planet, but where to? Uthen has no other holdings. He must trust her to another clan and the trick in that as you already observed is to find one that will give her back. Without this war I'm sure he'd have given her to me. With it, if we hadn't been occupying Utheneland I don't know. Ettar would probably have insisted on having her just as Nemesis did. Between the two of them I'd pick Nemesis any day.-

-You already said you prefer him to Amiss.- Jesse remarked.

-That's not the point. I prefer Ettar to Amiss as well. I ... well, Istar is probably the only person I wouldn't prefer to Amiss in this situation.-

-Come again?-

-Amiss would have been preferable to Istar in that he didn't take pleasure in causing children physical pain. At least not after he'd grown up himself. Emotional torture is another matter. He had that down to a fine art.-

-Charming.- Jesse commented.

-Yes, quite.-

-Talking about Istar, though.- Jesse said more easily now. -Isn't he supposed to be Nemesisz favourite? Why didn't he give Una to him? What do you have going with Nemesis?-

Razzle regarded Jesse in silence for so long that he stopped hoping for an answer.

-Perhaps he too is worried about Jean Claude. The boy made quite a scene over Susie and Istar might be less inclined to put his foot down over a noble born Outrider child than he was when confronted with a common Fleshling cub. But you also mustn't forget that Nemesis is a lot smarter than most. He owes Istar and is very fond of him, but he isn't blind. He has seen more of what goes on in that clan than any outsider most likely including even your darling little sister. He knows what it's done to Jean Claude, Jensz and Jatt.-

-Granted. But what about the obvious thing? Why didn't he take her to his own clan? Does he feel more sure of your obedience than that of his own Afrar?-

-The idea certainly shouldn't be dismissed out of hand.- Razzle allowed. -But if so I have never noticed it before. Mithgath appears to be a united front to the outside and they certainly don't have the numbers to be able to afford much infighting. A more likely possibility there is that he did not want to remove Una to Rukkat. I'm not entirely sure why he'd want her on the more defensible world when her presence might deter an attack, but then I am not privy to all his plans.-

-Unwise.- Jesse commented. -I keep worrying that he's planning some blunder. If the rumours I picked up in my short visit are to be believed he is pressing untrained and unfit people into service as pilots and he didn't impress me as much of a strategist in the Fleshling war.-

-He isn't trained for it. I see yet another possible explanation for his choice, though. He might have given her to me as a hint to the rebel clans that he still considers their interests and is holding a door open for the return at least of those like Gattler who merely followed the decisions of their Afrare possibly against their own better judgement. I wouldn't trust that gesture if I were Ettar, though, or even one of the lesser Afrare, but it it is the Commanders that lead the troops and they will feel less desperate knowing that Gattlersz child was given into the hands of her Afrarsz friends rather than his enemies.-

-Too many possibilities and maybes anyway.- Jesse pointed out. -Especially when your average Outrider isn't one for playing with subtleties. Or would you expect Mohawk to get any of this?-

-I expect Mohawk to wish no ill on Gattlersz daughter. Oh, does that still surprise you? Different clans doesn't have to mean you hate each other, you know.-

Sometimes Jesse felt like he'd never understand Outrider culture. Whenever he thought that he'd discovered a clear definite rule there was someone to tell him it didn't always hold true.

-Were you over in Gouraland again?- Nosthz the serf boy asked Jesse when he returned from his morning flight and found the boy sweeping the path to the door upon landing.

-Not this time.- He returned lightly. -I only went to town to check on the troops stationed there.-

-Oh.- The boy said disappointedly. -I'd have liked to know what it looks like over there. I've never been.-

-It's not that different from here as far as I've seen.- Jesse told him. -Mostly I fly over jungles when I go there. There seem to be more villages, but they don't look all that different from the ones here.-

-They have less sickness.- The boy said. -The doctor says that's because they don't have a central hospital so the sick people stay in their villages and don't carry their illnesses to others.-

-Oh, then why isn't that done here?-

-I think that's because of Nusksz rebellion.-

Nusk? This was the first Jesse had heard of that one. Was he some assistant of Ettar's? But Ettar was still supposed to be on Arthame in person.

-Who's he?- Jesse asked the boy.

-You don't know?-

Jesse shook his head. -Never heard of him, but it sounds like I should have. So why don't you tell me?-

-Well.- The boy allowed. -It was a very long time ago.-

Oh, just a bit of local history. Of course he hadn't heard of it back on the Warworld. But he'd asked the boy to tell him and he was feeling tired. A rest in the shade while the child prattled on didn't sound so bad.

-Nusk was a serf like me. He'd been born by the sea on Gouraland and had been fishing all his life, but then some disease broke out among the fish and people started getting sick from eating them. The fish in Nusksz village were fine and nobody got sick from eating them, but Goura forbade all fishing and the serfs from the fishing villages were all fetched away and distributed to other villages. Nusk didn't like to leave his village or to tend fruit trees, but most of all he didn't like that they'd taken his wife to a different village. He ran away and searched for her a long time and when he finally found where she'd been taken he was told that she was dead. She'd not known how to tend fruit trees, you see, because she'd been fishing all her life and she'd been clumsy and ruined some trees. She'd been whipped really bad for that and had died of it.-

-Does that happen a lot?- The boy had said it so casually.

-What? Oh no, we all know how to tend the trees of course. It's really rare that any of them are ruined. Most of the time when trees die they are lost to vermin or fires.-

-That overseers whip people to death, I meant.- Jesse clarified.

-Well, I've never heard of it happening to anyone I knew. Serfs get whipped all the time, of course, but usually it's just one lash to remind you to get back to your work. You don't die of one lash. Of course sometimes when somebody's been really bad there's a public whipping and then they get tied to two poles and get five or even ten lashes. You don't die of ten lashes either, but if you're weak and they get infected sometimes you die of the infection. Maybe that's what actually happened to Nusksz wife. I don't know. That's not important anyway. What's important is that he started a rebellion all over Arthame. Serfs attacked overseers and destroyed orchards and even hospitals all over the planet. It must have been really exciting back then, you know. There's a place on the road to town, maybe I can show you sometime, where the rebels used to lie in wait for fruit transports and attack them and one day they caught the Afrar and weapons master of house Scema instead. Then after that Scema hid all its loyal fighters in fruit carts and tricked the rebels into attacking them and they killed all the rebels. Only one of them, Usth was his name, got away, but he was really badly wounded and he'd have died, but one of the house servants found him and helped him. She hid him in an old tool-shed until he was healed and then one day he disappeared. But she had his baby and the baby then married the head overseer and that's where the Uthene come from.-

-I thought the Uthene are descendants of pirates?- Jesse remembered -At least that's the story they tell on the Warworld.-

-Why of course they are, but later they were serfs and then they became house serfs and overseers and eventually one married that rebel's baby.-

-I see. Quite an adventurous history.-

-Oh, that's nothing. All the really exciting adventures happened on Gouraland. Like there was this really big rebel gang under Nusk himself that had it's hideout in a cave just about a day's walk from Goura house. They had a shrine to Taz in there. In fact, they say the shrine is still there and you can go there and see it and pray and ...-

Jesse sat up very suddenly. -Where exactly is that cave?-

-I'm not sure, but I can ask. Will you take me there if I can find out? I'd so love to see it and they've got to let me go, if you tell them to. They're your prisoners after all.-

Jesse laughed. -They are inhabitants of occupied territory ... I think. Things are rather strange in a civil war. We're all Outriders after all, so how can this be occupied territory?-

The boy shrugged. -Will you take me?-

-Maybe.- Jesse lied. -If we can make absolutely sure that it's safe to go there.-

It definitely wasn't. Nowhere on Gouraland was currently safe enough for pro-Nemesis tourists. But then Jesse wasn't planning to go on a sight-seeing trip.

-I wouldn't want you to get caught in the crossfire of a rebel attack, after all.- He told the boy. -If there's a risk of that we can't go.-

-Oh, but wouldn't that be exciting!-

-No, it wouldn't. It would be a good way to get killed. And you are a strong child, aren't you?- At least he finally understood the local mentality well enough to manipulate people. -I couldn't risk getting a strong child killed. Just think how disappointed your parents would be.-

-They're just serfs.-

-So what difference does that make? Everybody values a strong child that will grow up.-

The boy didn't find out much more about the location of the cave than he had already told anyway.

That didn't stop them for long, though. Lutaz merely made some fast calculations and announced the minimum and maximum distance the cave was likely to be from Goura house.

Moments later Razzle, much to Ramszet's amazement, had coaxed the projector into showing a neatly drawn ring on the map, a ring that went right through the line of rebel troops.

-Well, that's definitely not a safe enough destination for your excursion.- He told Jesse with a smirk.

-Alas, I was afraid of that from the start.- Jesse returned calmly. -Where in that ring would you say it most likely is? Down here looks too flat to me.-

Another much smaller ring appeared within the big one.

-I'd say it's right there.- Razzle sad with a satisfied smirk. -Right where we tend to lose sight of their bigger planes.-

-So they're using it as a hangar? I wonder what Taz thinks of that.-

Razzle shrugged. -He will hardly mind. He's a rebel god, remember. He's offering them shelter.-

-And he won't like it if we attack there. He'll help them destroy us on his very own ground.- Evar, Lutaz' second in command, said.

Jesse starred at him incredulously.

Lutaz glared. -Superstitious nonsense. The gods never do anything at all.-

-He is above all else the protector of the weak and outcast.- Razzle said. -Who's the weaker side in this war? We are. Who are the outcasts on this planet? We are. And if that's not enough, I bet he likes Jesse and me a lot.-

-How so?- Jesse asked surprised. -I've certainly never prayed to him. I don't know anything but his name and that is still very new to me.-

-Considering the circumstances of our births, though, we wouldn't be where we are today if he hadn't helped us.-

Jesse looked very hard at Razzle, but there was no telling whether he actually believed any of it or had made it all up to reassure Evar.

-I don't think he's necessarily a god I'd want on my side.- He ventured after a moment.

-Oh, isn't he, Puppy?- Razzle asked with his nasty smirk. -Could have fooled me.-

Just brilliant. There clearly was an insult hidden in there somewhere and Jesse couldn't even see it.

-I don't even know him so when did I ever say I wanted to follow him?-

-Let me see.- Razzle purred. -How about the time you told the Star Sheriffs they could go hang and offered your services to Nemesis? Or the time you told your Afrar you didn't give a damn about your clan and went and cozied up to Irozz. Or the time you decided to hell with Nemesisz orders, I'll just sabotage his plan and let the Fleshlings blow up this planet? Or ...-

-That was not the plan!- Jesse shrieked. -I did not mean to do that!-

-Whoa.- Kieste commented. -Now you've done it.-

-Maybe.- Razzle said harshly. -That was not the plan, but it's what you did and it's what Taz would do. You're a rebel, Jesse, always have been and he's a god of rebels.-

-I'm not a rebel now though.- Jesse pointed out. -I stayed loyal to Nemesis didn't I?-

-And told your Afrar to go hang. Again.-

What the?

-Did you want me to join the rebels?- Jesse demanded incredulously.

-This isn't about what I want you to do. This is about what you do and what is considered proper loyalty.-

-But if I'd followed Ettar I'd have betrayed Nemesis, I'd have betrayed Jean Claude, I ...- But he wasn't supposed to let on about his deal with the Elhessare and it was also about what Gattler had done. -Would that have been loyal?-

-Of course not. In civil wars loyalty is a bitch and often enough nobody gets out of them with his honour intact.-

-Well, that's bloody brilliant. So now you're blaming me for choosing your side when choosing either one would have been wrong? Should I have stayed on Ishara and waited it out perhaps?-

In hind-thought it did look like a rather good idea.

-Now that would have been a betrayal of both sides.- Razzle declared happily.

Jesse felt almost ready to kick something in frustration. Or somebody. Somebody sounded pretty tempting right now.

-Not that it's never been done.- Kieste commented dryly.

-Eh?- Azpet asked. -When did that ever happen?-

-You should read more.- Razzle told him and turned back to the holo-display.

-What?-

-The Howling of the Wolves a the very least.- Kieste supplied.

-Oh!- Azpet exclaimed in sudden realisation. -Kimzae!-

-Among others.-

Jesse sighed. -Do I have to put reading ancient ballads on my daily schedule?- He asked Lutaz.


	17. Chapter 16: Roundup

Disclaimer 1: This is fanfic. That means I do not own any of it. I just borrow it to play with for a little while and let people see the pathetic results if they really want to.

Disclaimer 2: I'm not making any money from it. It's just for fun.

Disclaimer 3: What isn't borrowed is all made up. None of this is real or most likely at all realistic. Please don't trust any of the information in here. Most likely you know more about whatever I'm writing about than I do.

Disclaimer 4: Attitudes, views and opinions expressed by the characters or in the story are not necessarily those of the author. Even when writing Science Fiction or Fantasy I do not tend to attempt to create perfect/better worlds in which everybody gets a happy end ... or whatever is best for them. Please accept that some characters will have a bad ending or be unhappy.

Disclaimer 5: I intend no insult to anyone. If I offend anyone I'm very sorry. Please understand that it was an accident as I tend to be very clumsy in these things.

Chapter 16: Roundup

Not for the first time Jesse wished that he'd brought an even larger number of extra stealth-craft along. He hadn't seen why they'd be worth packing at the time, considering they'd already had to land Lutaz's bulky medical shuttles and Razzle's tanks, but ever since he'd seen with what ease Razzle had switched from his usual ultra-heavy ground vehicle to the small and deadly jet striker he'd regretted the decision to leave them behind. Sure most of Razzle's troops probably didn't share their Commander's varied experience, but Jesse would have bet that more than one of them had gotten a pilot's licence at some point. With a little instruction and practise they would probably have been adequate enough to use in the coming battle.

Even if they didn't master the targeting system at a striker's speed they would have enhanced their numbers visually and had a demoralising effect on the enemy. Besides if they did indeed manage to drive the rebels into a single mass as they hoped to, exact targeting would no longer be essential for hitting something worthwhile.

They'd still drop some of Razzle's tanks at that point, but Jesse thought it was quite telling that Razzle himself had not even made a token move towards returning the borrowed striker.

-Perhaps we should request some extra flyers.- He mused out loud. -I've got some abandoned ones standing around on the Warworld, because I was unable to replace their pilots and I bet Point does as well.-

-Whatever for?- Lutaz asked him.

-Well, I bet some of your people can fly. In addition to the normal shuttle pilots, I mean.-

-Those are important medical personnel that we'll need to care for the wounded.- Lutaz pointed out.

-So we shift around some of Razzlesz med officers. The tanks we won't be using are not likely to miss them during a battle like this. And we could probably get some extra pilots out of them as well. Yours would only be a secondary source.-

-Nice idea.- Razzle sneered. -One big catch. How do you intend to land those vehicles without the enemy noticing? It's not exactly inter-dimensional science that we're planning a large scale air strike on them if they see us getting extra planes. If it were only a matter of finding pilots I think you ought to have a look at the recruitment lists one of these days, Puppy. They've been de-vapourising and training people non-stop since this war started.-

-I thought you take five years to train a soldier.- Jesse reminded him.

-I didn't say they were proper soldiers, but you can probably get better flyers than I have to offer. They're pressing former civilian pilots into service. As for their shooting or even understanding of military terms ...-

-Then maybe we could convince the enemy that I'm just filling the gaps in my formations with these new recruits? Replacing the sick and injured?-

-Maybe if we spread that tale among the local civilians.- Lutaz said. -Our leak can't have disappeared completely.-

-You could probably convince Mohawk that there are no planes landing at all if you tried hard enough.- Razzle said. -But I don't think Gattler will fall for it. At last he'd take it with a grain of salt and take precautions. As for Ettar, he won't be fooled for a moment and I think until we get a confirmed sighting of him elsewhere we should assume that he's still here.-

-But you can lend me some extra pilots for the spares I already have?-

-The ones that my tech officers cleaned out for you?- Razzle purred.

-Yes, the very same.- Pretend to be Gattler. Don't let it bother you. Like water off a duck ... It wasn't even all that hard these days. Maybe it was one of those things that became automatic with enough practise.

-Kieste, get me a printout of our troops' piloting skills.-

That took about thirty seconds. It figured that Razzle not only had people with such skills on hand, but also kept a list of them.

The jungle lay silent and empty around them as if no such things as rebels existed, but Jesse refused to be fooled. They had to be somewhere around here and the fact that they had seen nothing of them only confirmed the assumption that their cave was nearby. And it had to be big. They'd all ducked into it hoping that the forces slowly circling in on them would pass over the entrance.

Which meant that they were assuming that they had calculated the location of their headquarters from their troop movements, but were unaware of the existence of the cave and hoping that it would go unnoticed.

That would be a very risky move unless ...

Jesse flipped a couple of switches on his radio, slightly amused at the practised ease with which he was able to single out that particular vehicle by now even though it was still programmed as just any random craft.

-What do you want to bet that cave has a back entrance?-

-If you want to bet, bet with Lutaz, and make it something more interesting, like how many entrances the thing has in total. Only Mohawk would hold against you on this one.-

-As if. We're on his home ground and he's probably in there right now. He can count to two.-

Pause. Then: -Are you trying to be overheard?-

-Were you trying to stay unnoticed? They must know we're here by now. I'd like them to come out and play. I'm not in the mood for a siege.-

Especially if they had to find and block an unknown number of exits first.

-A siege would be ill advised if they have a huge number of entrances anyway. I say we find a weakly defended one and go in all guns blazing. Maybe drop one of the tanks and let it blast our way in, then see where they come out.-

-Unless they have an ambush behind that weak defence. I don't like going in without a map.-

-Why Puppy, aren't you curious to see the place?-

Very, but he wasn't sure he'd give in to it if he could avoid it. Sure he'd like to see the shrine of the rebel god, but at the same time he didn't want to be associated with it. He didn't want people to think he'd gone there to pray.

-I'd rather ... Hang on, incoming report.-

He flipped another switch and ...

-We've found a cave entrance, Commander.-

-Any defence?- Jesse demanded.

-No, nothing. Just a hole in the mountain.-

-Other signs of recent Outrider presence?-

-No, nothing at all except that hole.-

-Fire a rocket into it and see what happens.-

-Done. There was a big bang and a lot of rock splinters, Sir.-

Razzle's wild laughter filled the cockpit of the Badlander and Jesse suddenly remembered that the intelligence reports at Cavalry Command had reported Razzle to be utterly insane. For the first time in years Jesse could almost believe it, but he knew the old bastard too well by now. Perhaps it was battle lust, though. He'd never seen Razzle in a serious fight before now. Or perhaps he wanted to sound insane, perhaps he wanted his soldiers to believe that it was battle lust ... and perhaps it was just nerves. If so he'd never know. Razzle could hide tension better than anyone else Jesse knew.

Jesse signalled for his troops to halt.

-Take a group inside and see what you can find.-

-It's not big enough to fly in, Commander.-

Jesse groaned. He'd hit on another extra-stupid Outrider.

-Then get out and walk. And take somebody smarter than yourself along.-

-Yes, Commander.-

Jesse closed his end of that line again.

-He isn't even insulted.- He stated privately to Razzle.

-Intelligence is not a quality our soldiers strive for. It takes some to see its value, I suppose.-

-Just splendid. What's going on at your end?-

-Your troops have stopped.- Razzle reported promptly.

-I'm waiting for the result on that cave.-

-Well, I'm waiting for you. Don't want to have a gap in the ellipsoid.-

-The what?-

-It's not a circle our troops are in anymore. This shape is an ellipsoid.-

-If you don't mind, I'll study Outrider geometry some other day. I ...-

-Commander, we've reached the cave now. It isn't very big.-

Jesse flipped his switch again.

-What did you find?-

-A dead hrszh and a lot of scared stoje.-

-Alright. Remount and get back to looking. And don't tell Jatt we're decimating the local wildlife.-

The idea did raise a new concern in Jesse, though.

-Say Razzle, what's the chance that there are any 'hermits' in the local caves?-

-What's a 'hermit'?-

Oh to have Jean Claude with his extensive Fleshling vocabulary!

-A Fleshling ... or in this case Outrider, that doesn't get on with people and prefers to live alone in a cave or hut in the wilderness where he can avoid contact with them.-

-You Fleshlings are insane and any Outrider that did that would be, too. Whether to start with in order to do such a thing or in consequence of it, how... We've got them! Speed-gliders attacking my right wing. Sending you the exact coordinates, but keep looking for those other entrances or we might still lose them.-

-Are you still advancing?- Jesse asked. -We still don't want any holes in the whatever it is.-

-Yes, but slowly.- Razzle shouted over the noise of laser fire.

Apparently he was under fire himself.

Jesse slowed the advance of his troops as well. Were the rebels trying to break through or to draw troops away from some other point? They shouldn't get whichever they wanted.

-Do you need help?-

-No, I'll call for the first drop whenever I do. Just hold the line.-

Jesse waited still advancing slowly.

-Cave entrance!- Another soldier reported. -Barricaded.-

-Good.- Jesse declared. -Everybody stop! Can you force your way in?-

-I can try.- It sounded rather doubtful. -But it's manned and armed.-

Jesse thought about it for a moment then assigned three strikers to remain outside that entrance and keep it under fire.

-If anyone tries to get out, shoot them. Let's see if we can't block some of their doors before we go in.- He decided. -Razzle?-

-Still exchanging fire with three rebel wings. From the colour scheme they're Snowbirds.- Razzle replied hastily.

-Snowbirds?- What the hell?

-Ettar has three elite squadrons of flyers.- Lutatz started to lecture.

-I know that.- Jesse snapped. -We went over it often enough.-

-Well, one of them's called the Snowbirds.- Lutatz continued undaunted. -The others are the Icebirds and the Bluebirds.-

-If you'd told me sooner I'd have hired some bird catchers.- Jesse commented.

Maybe he ought to name his squadrons, too? Badlanders, Lowlanders and Highlanders? He wasn't Scottish, though and certainly didn't want to name any of his troops after Saber Rider. Or did they actually already have names and he'd never been informed? Or did you have to declare a unit elite before it could be named?

-Cave entrance!- Viperon's voice hissed reminding Jesse of the task in hand. -Big one. You could fly three strikers side by side through there.-

-Barricaded?- Jesse asked.

-No, but ... ambush! We're under attack from both sides.-

-Who's we and what is attacking?- Jesse demanded.

No reply.

-Viperon? Viperon!-

-Need reinforcements! Can't hold!-

Judging from the background noise there were rockets as well as lasers involved. Jesse decided to take a look in person and found that Viperon certainly hadn't been exaggerating. One of his strikers was already down and four more damaged.

-Razzle! Can I have a tank drop at my coordinates? Looks like the main entrance. Defended by a squadron of space capable strikers and two armoured ground attack vehicles.-

-On its way. Clear landing site. What's the strikers' colour scheme?-

-Mostly white, some blue lines. I ...-

-The rest of the Snowbirds.- Razzle diagnosed. -Watch out for the other two squadrons. They've got to be so...-

The tank slammed into the ground in front of the cave with a bang that drowned the rest of Razzle's sentence and the enemy vehicles hastily concentrated their fire on it maybe hoping to disable it before it could aim its main canon.

Jesse dove at the cave entrance, not really intending to fly in, but merely as a faint to draw some of the fire and buy the tank the time it needed. His four damaged strikers fell into formation behind him making quite a display of it, but only the armoured ground vehicles fell for it.

But then that was all that was really needed. The strikers had only lasers and the tank could take a lot of laser fire. It ignored the planes, pointed its canon straight at the ground vehicle standing in the right corner of the cave entrance and fired.

The vehicle was lifted off the ground, carried several otae into the cave and then fell back onto its wheels heavily dented. It rocked back and forth a bit ... and then its lasers started firing again. The rocket launcher however only emitted a puff of smoke.

-Tough little fellow.- Jesse heard a woman's voice comment on Razzle's line.

-Take out the other.- Razzle commanded apparently not in the mood to trade light-hearted comments.

Jesse pulled the Badlander around and discovered that Razzle had joined their fight.

-Don't you have your own battle to attend to?- He asked.

-What battle? The moment the tank dropped our opponents turned and dashed here to join yours. We need more strikers.-

It was unfortunately true. The Snowbirds were too fast for the tank to target its canon at them rendering it much less effective once the armoured vehicles were out of the fight and there was a whole squadron of them.

Jesse thinned out his ring ordering every second plane to join the fight at the main entrance. The remaining vehicles ought to suffice to notice and report where the rebels emerged, though they probably wouldn't be able to stop them all. Most of Ettar's forces would break through and regroup elsewhere. With any luck their new position wouldn't be anywhere near as good as this, though.

For the moment they were still holding still, though. Were they hoping that the ring would be removed entirely? Or actually prepared for a siege? Hoping to lure their entire forces into the cave and ambush them there?

What could a siege possibly gain Ettar? He needed to regain control of the planet to stop the food deliveries to the Warworld and Rukkat, not merely to maintain a presence on the planet ... unless he was trying to bind as many of Nemesis' units as possible while the rebels struck elsewhere.

In that case Ettar himself would no longer be here since he wasn't comfortable delegating the command of such an important operation to somebody else. Would he leave the Snowbirds behind to make it appear as if he were still here? Were these Gattler's tactics? They couldn't possibly be Mohawk's.

-Razzle?-

-Yes?-

-Does this look more like Gattlersz or Ettarsz style to you?-

-Ettar. Why?-

-Just wondering whether he might have slipped out on us and told Gattler to bind us in a siege.-

-Not likely.- Lutatz cut in. -He can't have known we'd find out about the cave now ... unless he sent that kid to tell you about it. But he's just a little scrap of a serf, isn't he?-

-Quite so.- Razzle confirmed. -Though our leak may have informed him that I've made a bit of a pet of the scrap. In that case the lure was intended to go directly to me, though, and Nosthz is too well accustomed to mindless obedience to show any initiative in execution of his orders. If he'd been told to tell me something, he wouldn't have taken it to Jesse instead.-

-What if he'd been told to tell it to any one of us?- Lutatz suggested. -Or merely been led to think of the cave a lot? That can be done, can't it?-

-I could do it.- Razzle said. -Iktrz could. I dare say Jesse or Nemesis could manage if he really tried. Ettar wouldn't know where to start, though. Gattler knows that I can understand and manipulate minds to an extent, but he doesn't understand the rules of the art and as for Mohawk the very idea is far beyond him. No, that clue was purely coincidental.-

Faced with overwhelming odds now the Snowbirds eventually broke up and accelerated away in different directions probably expecting their opponents to chase them and leave the cave entrance. Jesse ordered his troops to remain, though. He didn't want to let the enemy Commanders get away this easily. If they could manage to capture Ettar, there was a chance that the entire rebellion might collapse. Gattler certainly wouldn't lead the Uthene soldiers back to the rebel forces if he could avoid it and maybe Goura would be tired of the fighting too. They'd been homeless for a month now and even they had to be aware that Mohawk couldn't possibly lead a rebellion against Nemesis.

-Who'd take command if Ettar were incapacitated?- Jesse asked as the tank advanced into the cave slowly.

-Of the Arthame forces or of Ettarsz personal troops?- Razzle inquired.

-Neither. Of the entire rebellion. Could we get them to fight amongst themselves?-

Lutatz snorted.

-Cuth by virtue of seniority.- Razzle replied. -And no, neither Grammis nor Vanquo's likely to challenge him over it. Point might have, but Point's not with the rebellion. His own dorm's used to obeying Cuth, so there's no chance there and of the rest only Laxus could make a claim that might hold water and can you see him doing it?-

-What? Get out of his bath and work? Not of his own accord, no.- Jesse had to admit. -Would Cuth in command bring us anything, though? He isn't the conquering hero Ettar is, is he?-

-Cuth is very by the book.- Razzle reported. -As far as he's been taught the book. He hasn't done any further reading since he left the Academy. What he's learned since then he got from his elders. There's some useful stuff in there that Ettar mightn't come up with, but Ettar's a lot more creative in application of what he does know.-

Quite suddenly a thought flashed through Jesse's mind. If they could use tactics that were completely unfamiliar to their opponents ... but while Cuth had never been used against humans he'd been in too many strategy meetings at the time to be unfamiliar with their ways. Everything Jesse knew had been used by one side or the other in the Fleshling war or was modern Outrider tactics that he'd seen his peers use in simulations. Someone in the rebel high command was sure to recognise it.

Lutatz and Razzle might have seen something that hadn't been employed since Cuth had joined the army in their early days, but it would have been during Cuth's lifetime. Maybe he'd spent hours listening to his older relatives tell war stories in his childhood and would recognise it all. What they needed was something obscure that hadn't been used in generations and how ...

-Do you think either of them knows anything about the Merazothon Empire?- He asked Razzle.

-They ought to have learned that it existed in school.- Razzle replied. -And some basic dates and facts.-

-They had a very different idea of soldiers back then.- Jesse stated. -And probably also of war itself?-

-Oh yes, it was quite a philosophical culture, nothing at all like the war cult we have today.-

-So they'd also have used very different tactics?-

-They had to. They only barely had faster than light ships at the time and the main personal weapon soldiers carried was usually a lightspear. Lasers were bulky monstrosities that had to be mounted on heavy vehicles. Even lighter planes couldn't carry them and would drop small incendiary bombs instead.-

That wasn't quite what Jesse had had in mind.

-Could you adapt any of it to modern warfare?- He asked anyway. -Do something that Ettar and Cuth never dreamed of but that would still make sense today?-

-But Jesse, that's ancient history.- Lutatz protested, but all that came in on Razzle's line was a long thoughtful hiss.

-Let me think about it.- Razzle finally said. -It's a very risky thing.-

-Woha, that's a whole hangar down here.- The woman in the tank reported. -Taking fire, but they're getting in each other's way.-

Razzle ordered another tank drop and actually flew into the opening.

-Are you sure you want to fly in there?- Jesse yelled, but followed him anyway.

-The rebels do.- Razzle pointed out, but then had to jerk his plane to the right very suddenly to avoid a collision.

-Probably not when there's a firefight inside and a whole squadron trying to take off.- Jesse informed him.

-Bluebirds.- Razzle identified clearly no longer able to waste time and concentration on a full sentence.

Jesse, too, had quite a time dodging strikers and laser fire. The inside of the cave might have been a well ordered hanger before the tank had arrived, but now it was utter chaos. Jesse managed to pull the Badlander up above and behind the Bluebirds' escape trajectory and send several salvoes of laser fire into their backs, but neither his ship nor Razzle's striker was built to hover and while Razzle did indeed know how to fly he lacked the ease of constant practise as well as the Badlander's greater agility.

-Land!- Jesse barked at him. -We'll have to take this on foot.-

There was no way they'd manage to get back out past the Bluebirds' firefight against the two tanks that were now doing their best to block the main entrance.

Razzle's left wing scraped against a cave wall sending sparks flying, but apparently not hard enough to incapacitate the striker.

Jesse threw the Badlander into a hard spin to avoid a similar situation, cut the engine the moment the ship levelled out and let it slam onto the ground trusting in its shock absorbers to take the momentum. He'd have to let one of Razzle's tech officers have a go at the Badlander when they got back to Uthene house, but right now there was no time to worry about it.

He looked around for Razzle, but couldn't find the striker anymore. Hopefully it too was on the ground by now and Razzle would find his own way through this. There was no way Jesse could take his radio with him in this situation.

The moment he opened his cockpit the noise of lasers, small rockets and what appeared to be hundreds, if not thousands of engines hit him. Splinters of rock hit his armour when he jumped out and there was smoke everywhere.

Had the rebels used smoke grenades to cover their escape or was this entirely due to the damage done by the weapons? Based on prior experience Jesse would have considered the latter impossible, but what with the number of vehicles that had been parked here and the fact that whatever shots actually missed them ended up pulverising rock instead he wasn't so sure. There definitely was a lot of dust in the air and that couldn't have come from any smoke grenades.

Now that all the planes still able to fly had taken off there were ground vehicles starting up and opening fire or trying to get away and soldiers running ... pretty much every which way it appeared. It was impossible to make out where they were going to. Most likely, Jesse decided they were the crews of damaged vehicles looking for a ride out of here on one of the still functional ones.

Jesse started running for the most powerful vehicle he could make out through the smoke. If he managed to incapacitate a few more ...

Out of the corner of his eye he caught sight of a figure in ice blue armour going the other way and whirled around. This was no uniform, it was individual armour and individual armour meant a Commander. And he knew the armour of Razzle, Lutaz, Gattler and Mohawk. None of them wore ice blue. That left only one possibility.

-Ettar!- Jesse gasped and raced after him.

If they managed to capture Ettar ... well, Cuth would be in charge of the rebel army, but that was preferable to Ettar and Nemesis would surely be happy to get his hands on the man who'd started the rebellion. He couldn't let him get away.

But he was almost at the closest vehicle! Jesse raised his blaster. Could he hit a tire at this distance?

Ettar never glanced at the vehicle, though, but ran on past and Jesse decided against taking the shot and ran the harder. They were going towards the cave wall, most likely into a smaller side tunnel. Did Ettar intend to hide in there or was it a smaller exit through which he hoped to escape on foot?

Another figure appeared through the smoke and again Jesse raised his blaster, but then he recognised Razzle who wasn't even looking at Jesse, but just standing pointing his blaster at an indistinct shape in ... Why, that was Gattler! If they could capture both him and Ettar ...

But right now Ettar was getting away.

-Razzle! It's Ettar!- Jesse shouted, but Razzle didn't move.

And neither did Gattler. They were just standing there staring at each other and somewhere in the back of his mind Jesse was glad that he wasn't in Razzle's shoes right now. Sooner or later one of those two had to shoot and he certainly didn't want to be the one that had shot Gattler. It must feel even worse for Razzle, but damnit shooting someone was always better than being shot.

There was no time to think about that, though. Ettar was already past the pair and disappearing into the side cave Jesse had expected.

It was wider than Jesse had thought it'd be, probably wide enough to fly a wrangler through, but none of the vehicles in the main cave could have made it. Ettar was nowhere to be seen anymore, but there was only one way he could have gone. Jesse plunged on after him.

The tunnel curved to the right. That explained Ettar's disappearance! And then it curved on past an opening on the left.

Jesse hesitated for a moment, then ducked through the narrow opening into complete darkness. He should have held his flashlight ready! Now he lost precious seconds groping for it and feeling for the on button.

When the light came on it revealed a small room that held a table and two chairs, but nothing else. There were no further openings either. A blue arbhes pawn lay on the floor. Clearly somebody had passed the time with a game here. Maybe this had been some guards' ready-room?

It had no other openings, so Jesse ducked back out and followed the original tunnel.

There was a sudden hissing from on ahead, lights flickered, the roar of an engine coming to life ...

Jesse plunged through the opening it came from and found himself face to thruster with the Ice Bird, not the Outrider, but the small, deadly spaceship he had gotten his nickname from.

Or had it been the other way around? Jesse had never thought to ask.

He threw himself sidewards to avoid the blast as the craft took off and fired at the ship at the same time. If he could hit something vital he might yet prevent Ettar from flying away, but he didn't know what this ship's most vulnerable spots were. If only Razzle had come with him! Razzle would know ... Though if Razzle had been with him it wouldn't have come to this. They'd have split up when they'd reached the ready-room, one of them checking it while the other would have followed Ettar and caught up with him before he could have gotten into the ship and started the engine.

Too late now. The Ice Bird ... hissed again and grew legs, turning its cockpit with the deadly looking beak coming into view.

What the hell? Just like the Badlander the Ice Bird could be transformed into robot mode, but this cave couldn't possibly be high enough!

Nevertheless the Ice Bird turned straight at Jesse and continued to change, now growing hands that ended in deadly lasers.

Jesse threw himself forward to get between the lasers. They wouldn't be constructed to turn far enough to point straight at each other, or if they were Ettar must know that it would be utter folly to fire them in that position. They'd only damage each other.

All he had to do was hold out until the transformation advanced far enough that the ship collided with the roof of the cave. Then Ettar would be stuck.

But apparently the Ice Bird was capable of partial transformations. It didn't change any further, but merely swung to the right suddenly its left arm slamming hard into Jesse and throwing him to the ground.

He rolled towards the ship in order to stay out of the reach of the lasers and aimed his blaster at the closer foot joint. That ought to be a weak point. If he could damage that, the ship wouldn't be able to transform back. It looked like it might still be able to fly in its current shape, but it wasn't nearly as aerodynamic as the ship form and would most likely be a lot slower. Jesse's strikers might still catch it if Ettar tried to flee like this.

The leg lifted pulling the joint out of reach, then moved sidewards toward Jesse and ... It was coming right at him!

Jesse screamed and scrambled away. The Ice Bird might be a small ship - actually slightly smaller than the Badlander - but it was still more than heavy enough to crush a man in battle armour like a bug.

Only vaguely aware that he was heading back into laser range Jesse grabbed for the first handhold he could find on the uneven ground and pulled himself away from under the foot. Too late! It came down bringing a wave of agonising pain and then darkness.

From one moment to the next something changed in the battle. Razzle was fully aware of it, just as he was fully aware of what he ought to do. He couldn't do it, though. He could not kill Gattler, he dared not shoot to injure and possibly kill by accident.

He couldn't pull away. And it seemed that that problem was mutual.

-He's gone.- Gattler shouted suddenly. -Ettar's gone. Allow us to pull away?-

-I can't.- Razzle returned. -Surrender? You could re-join your clan.-

-And Nemesis would just let me be?-

Hardly.

-I can help you negotiate.-

Not that it would help much. Some punishment would certainly be unavoidable.

-I think Jesse might be convinced to help, too.- Razzle added.

-If he's still alive.- Gattler remembered. -Ettar does want him dead.-

They both looked towards the tunnel Ettar and Jesse had disappeared into. There was no sign of movement there.

-Maybe we'd better check.- Razzle allowed.

They reached the tunnel side by side, followed it at a run until Razzle stopped at an opening causing Gattler to take the lead.

-This way.-

He seemed very sure where Ettar had gone and he had been hiding here for several weeks. Razzle followed him.

-Damnit! I knew it.-

At first all Razzle saw was an empty cave, much smaller than the one they'd come from, but large enough to hold a small ship such as the Ice Bird. So this was how Ettar had gotten away. Razzle hoped that Jesse's pilots hadn't let him get away entirely untouched for lack of orders. They should have remembered to make sure it was the smarter ones that remained in the ring formation to watch for further entrances.

Only when he had run past Gattler and turned around to see why he'd dropped to his knees did Razzle notice the unmoving form on the ground by the entrance.

-Is he?-

-Bleeding out.- Gattler reported crisply. -Foot's crushed. Otherwise fine.-

Which wasn't bad for an on foot encounter with Ettar's ship. Not if Ettar wanted you dead.

-Hold him!- Gattler ordered and Razzle moved to comply before he even realised what exactly he meant.

-Right leg.- Gattler specified when he saw Razzle take hold of Jesse's shoulder.

Razzle watched him dig through his medical pack hastily.

-What are you doing?-

-Taking off the foot.-

Razzle looked down at Jesse. He had his glyph and the dispenser bracelet, but so far no missing parts or metal patches. It was a rare thing among Outrider Commanders, but considering the glove and neckcloth ...

-Do you have to?-

-Would you prefer him to bleed to death?- Gattler demanded. -It's crushed anyway. There's no fixing that. If I found a way to stop the bleeding your med bay would take it off anyway.-

Razzle nodded. -Just asking because he won't like it. ... And he won't like a second one of those either.- He added when he noticed Gattler pulling out a dispenser bracelet. -Can't you use this?-

He untied the neckcloth so Gattler could see the bracelet Jesse was already wearing.

-What's in there?- Gattler demanded.

Razzle shrugged. -I'm no med officer.-

Gattler cursed and affixed a medscanner to the bracelet, then cursed some more and returned the bottle of crystals he'd prepared to the bag, dug out another and injected that into the bracelet.

-Alright, now hold on tight. That stuff isn't really strong enough.-

Luckily Jesse wasn't all that strong either and Razzle assumed he wouldn't remember the pain since he wasn't conscious for the procedure. It went very quickly as well, clearly something Gattler had done often before.

Most likely so had every one of Lutatz's med officers and many of the nurses, but Razzle still felt grateful that it was Gattler doing this and not some stranger. Jess would ... Well, no, Jesse would probably be furious about it. It wasn't the sort of thing he reacted reasonably, too, at least not initially. Still, he'd have preferred Gattler if he'd been conscious to make the choice.

-There.- Gattler said sealing the stump for now. -This'll hurt for a while yet and you'd better get him home before it heals or they'll have to re-open it to attach the prosthesis. Even I can tell you Jesse won't like having to heal twice over. It hurts.-

-Yeah, I get that.- Razzle said lifting Jesse into his arms. -Now it appears I have my hands full, so if you happened to slip away ...-

He could see that Gattler wanted to ask what had made him change his mind about him rejoining his civilian clan members, but he was wise enough to realise that this was no time for questions. He merely nodded and started walking towards the cave opening.

-There might still be strikers out there.- Razzle hinted already walking back towards the tunnel.


	18. Chapter 17: It Only Hurts

Disclaimer 1: This is fanfic. That means I do not own any of it. I just borrow it to play with for a little while and let people see the pathetic results if they really want to.

Disclaimer 2: I'm not making any money from it. It's just for fun.

Disclaimer 3: What isn't borrowed is all made up. None of this is real or most likely at all realistic. Please don't trust any of the information in here. Most likely you know more about whatever I'm writing about than I do.

Disclaimer 4: Attitudes, views and opinions expressed by the characters or in the story are not necessarily those of the author. Even when writing Science Fiction or Fantasy I do not tend to attempt to create perfect/better worlds in which everybody gets a happy end ... or whatever is best for them. Please accept that some characters will have a bad ending or be unhappy.

Disclaimer 5: I intend no insult to anyone. If I offend anyone I'm very sorry. Please understand that it was an accident as I tend to be very clumsy in these things.

Chapter 17: It Only Hurts

Something hurt.

There were sounds of people moving around.

Somehow the hurting was a good thing.

People were talking.

It was his leg that hurt.

People moving around was a good thing, too.

They were talking in Outrider language, not English.

His leg hurting meant that he wasn't dead.

People moving around was normal.

People talking Outrider meant that he was safe.

He'd expected to be dead.

People moving around meant dorm mates. Dorm mates meant safe. All was well.

Why had he expected to be dead?

Why was people talking Outrider safe? Weren't the Outriders the enemy?

-You'll make sure he sleeps through the transport? I don't think he'd react well to waking up on the way.-

Razzle's voice brought Jesse's memories back up to date in a flash and he opened his eyes.

-I can't.- Lutaz was informing Razzle. -Not with the medicine that's already in his system. We either have to wait for that to wear off or I can't give him anything strong enough to keep him out for more than an hour at a time. Anything else would risk a cross reaction that ...-

-Razzle?- They were in one of Lutaz's medical shuttles, probably the one that had once held the Cat-of-War, since Lutaz was here. Last Jesse remembered he'd still been on Utheneland preparing to coordinate the treatment of the wounded.

Razzle started.

-You're supposed to be unconscious.- He informed Jesse.

-Well, I'm not.- Jesse stated. -Did we catch Ettar?-

That would be too good to be true, but there was a slim chance.

-No.- Razzle replied predictably. -But not for want of trying. For once Ramszet actually found a spare brain cell or two somewhere and ordered two of his pilots to chase him. The Ice Bird's damned fast, though and Ramszetsz own striker took a bad hit at its initial appearance, so he couldn't give chase in person. It sounded like he was lucky he managed to keep the plane in the air long enough to find a reasonable crash site.- Razzle paused. -Do you want to take him home with you?-

-He isn't that badly wounded.- Lutaz interjected. -And as second in command he'll be needed here.-

-Ramszet actually in command of a corps is the last thing we need.- Razzle snapped. -Sending him home as wounded would be the perfect excuse to avoid that and let him save face. And he likes Jesse. He'll feel quite honoured if we tell him Jesse wanted his company.-

-I'm not going home.- Jesse informed Razzle. -I'm fine.-

-No, you're not.- Lutaz told him.

-Well, maybe not well enough to participate in another battle, but it doesn't hurt that much. I'll stick to administrative work until you give me the okay, promise.-

-You won't be okay.- Razzle told him harshly. -And you can't get up. You're missing a foot and Lutaz can't replace that. You'll have to let Moku do it and Gattler told me it's best done as quickly as possible since they'd have to reopen the healed injury to do it later and then you'd have to heal twice. Go home, take Ramszet with you. We'll put Azpet in temporary command and I'll hold his hand through anything that isn't routine operation. He can ...-

-Missing a foot?- Jesse yelped.

-Gattler?- Lutaz demanded. -You've been talking with Gattler?-

-Who do you think treated Jesse? I don't have any medical training. He'd have died on me if it hadn't been for Gattler.-

-And then you let him get away?- Lutaz snapped.

-I turned my back on him to pick up Jesse and he slipped away. Should I have dropped Jesse to chase after him? Or maybe chased him carrying Jesse? How the hell do you expect me to use a blaster with my hands full in that case?-

-What happened to my foot?- Jesse yelled. -What the hell did you do to me?-

-It was crushed. You'd have died if Gattler hadn't taken it off.- Razzle told him. -And you're quite lucky it was only the foot. Whatever possessed you to go up against the Ice Bird all by yourself?-

-I wouldn't have been by myself if you'd just done your duty and shot Gattler. Together we'd have caught up with Ettar before he had a chance to get in his ship at all. But you just didn't have the guts, did you?-

-I ... wanted to take him alive.-

-And it would have been fine to let me die for that, wouldn't it? Perhaps you should check where your loyalties lie one of these days, because that sure as hell isn't what Nemesis would have wanted.-

-Now, Jesse ...- Lutaz squeezed in between them pushing Razzle towards the door.

-This is your damn fault, Razzle! Yours!-

-I ...- Razzle started, but Lutaz pushed him again, quite a bit harder.

-Go!- He said. -This isn't the time. See to the troops.-

Razzle went.

-It's his fault.- Jesse repeated angrily. -If he hadn't frozen when he was faced with Gattler ...-

-What's done is done.- Lutaz informed him. -Playing what if after a battle has never helped anything and Gattler was quite right. The sooner you get home to have surgery the sooner you'll be back on your feet and we need every Commander we have right now. So I want to send you off with the very first shuttle out of here. I'd have liked to give you something to make you sleep through the whole transport, but I can't. That's why Razzle thought it'd make sense for Ramszet to keep you company on the way.-

Jesse nodded deflating somewhat now that Razzle was gone.

-I can do it awake, you know.- He informed Lutaz. -I'm not a baby.- And Una had made the trip awake just fine. -It doesn't hurt that much. At worst it'll be boring ... and I guess Ramszet would help with that. I really don't want him in command of my troops.-

Not that he wanted Azpet to do the job either. Not here on the front line where something unexpected and dangerous might happen at any moment. Azpet wasn't trained for it. He might make the wrong decision out of inexperience or a moment of panic or he might freeze with indecision which was the worst thing of all in a battle. Did Azpet even know that or would he think a wrong decision was worse than none?

-I'll give you something to put you under for a little while now.- Lutaz announced. -You'll be jostled during the transfer into the transport capsule and the loading procedure and that will hurt a lot more than just lying here. You'll probably have to suffer enough during unloading, but I have no influence over that. I can only spare you the loading.-

Jesse hesitated.

-I'm not sure I wouldn't prefer to know what's happening.-

-You've seen the loading of wounded soldiers before surely?- Lutaz asked.

-Only in holomovies.- Jesse admitted. -We vapourised them out during the Fleshling war.-

-Well, it's still the same procedure. We put you in a capsule and load it onto a shuttle that'll take you to the ship home. By the time you wake up the ship will be on its way and Ramszet will be there. He probably has quite the heroic tale to tell of his encounter with Ettar and you can tell him yours. I'll try to get him to make sure you'll be unloaded first and get another shot for that, but I can't guarantee that.-

Jesse snorted.

-No, not with Ramszet.-

He'd try, though. Jesse was quite sure of that. It was odd, but somehow he'd become convinced that Ramszet honestly liked him and would care that he was in pain. He'd do what he could to spare him as much of it as possible.

-The rest will be up to Moku.- Lutaz explained. -I'm pretty sure he'll receive you in person and quite possibly perform the surgery as well. You ought to be the most important patient he'll have unless ...-

Lutaz didn't continue, but they both knew what he was thinking. If the cave had been intended as a distraction after all then the rebels would have struck elsewhere and there would be wounded coming in from another front as well.

If they had attacked the space line Point might have been wounded or killed.

If they'd attacked Rukkat it could be Brunhilda or Istar. Jesse suspected that Moku liked him better than Istar, but he thought that Brunhilda as a woman would probably receive preferential treatment.

And if they'd attacked the Warworld it might be Gaspar or Orat. He didn't want to have to share a room with Orat when he wasn't even able to get up and walk away for a while.

Then again, if the rebels had attacked the Warworld, there might not be a room awaiting him at all. Maybe he was actually headed for a prison cell or vapour chamber where he'd remain a helpless cripple for the rest of his life. Ettar had no reason to grant him an artificial foot.

Or would Ettar be willing to make a deal? From Razzle's descriptions he wasn't at all kind, but could be very pragmatic and perhaps Laxus and Hiretz would plead for him to be offered a chance to switch sides. An additional Commander would probably still be a valuable political asset.

But now the world was starting to go out of focus and Jesse was no longer able to hold on to a straight thought. Ramszet would be there when he woke up. Ramszet would ... What would Ramszet? Who would ...

It was all quite overdone, Gattler thought standing in the centre of the magnificent grand hall before Ettar on his throne, overdecorated and boastful. Nemesis' throne wasn't this decorated despite its ancient dignity. Nemesis' hall was dark and bare. It echoed rather annoyingly and tended to be a bit cold.

This place was covered in carpets and tapestries and had both large windows and huge lamps with coloured lights that sparkled and danced until one got quite dizzy.

It didn't even make Ettar look good what with the red and green lights that kept flickering over his blue face.

Did it flatter anyone? Gattler couldn't see its effect on himself of course and thought it might be unwise to look over at the gathered Arfrare and Commanders right now.

-Soooo.- Ettar said in a drawn out hiss that sounded oh so deceptively friendly. -Razzle let you go, did he?-

-Well, it wasn't quite like that.- Gattler lied. -I mean, he obviously didn't do it on purpose.-

-Oh really?- Ettar drew out. -Last I saw he had you right in his sight ... and you were doing nothing.-

-We were at a deadlock.- Gattler claimed. -I wasn't sure of my shot and couldn't afford to miss and I suppose the same goes for him.-

-And then what?- Ettar demanded. -He shot and missed and instead of vaulting closer and making your own shot you ran like the pathetic half-hearted coward you are?-

-No.- Gattler admitted. -He ... We heard you take off and I suppose he must have gotten confirmation it was you via radio. In any case he lost interest in me quite suddenly after that and turned away. Maybe to direct his troops to follow you. I didn't wait to find out. The cave was quite overrun by their troops by then and ... Well, I could have shot him in the back, I suppose, but it would have cost me the chance to escape. You wouldn't have wanted me to fall into the hands of the enemy after all you've told me about your plans, would you?-

-I would have trusted you not to tell them our plans.- Ettar snapped. -They could hardly have forced you.-

-Maybe not.- Gattler allowed. -But Nemesis and Razzle both have a way of tricking one with words and when they get their experts involved it becomes almost impossible for a straightforward man like me to keep a story straight. Besides I don't fancy being a prisoner and sitting out all the remaining fighting.-

-And yet you knew how important it was to me to take out Razzle.- Ettar hissed much more rapidly now, the false calm entirely gone.

-Razzle or Jesse, I believed?- Gattler reminded him. -And the last time I saw you you had Jesse chasing you right into your trap. Don't tell me you let him get away?-

Ettar laughed.

-I crushed him like a bug.- He declared. -That little half-breed won't ever bother us again.-

A suppressed hiss from the side reminded them both of their audience's presence.

Had it been Afrar Hiretz or Commander Laxus a small part of Gattler's brain wondered. Razzle would probably be able to tell, but Gattler had no talent for looking into people's hearts and minds and the two Artheze were standing too close together to tell by ear. Jesse's death would be a severe loss to both of them of course, so perhaps it made no difference.

For a moment Gattler considered telling them that Jesse was in fact still alive and likely to be back on the front line in about two months, but then he'd have to explain how he knew when his story was that he'd slipped away before Razzle had even found him. He could claim that he'd escaped through that same tunnel, of course. It'd even be true. He'd passed Jesse and seen that he was still moving ... But then Ettar would demand to know why he hadn't finished him off when the assumption that Jesse was already dead had been his reason for letting Razzle live and he'd have to admit to having examined him and knowing that he'd been found and treated in time if they asked how he knew that he hadn't died after Gattler had passed by.

-Well, then it hardly matters that Razzle got away and it is all for the best that you didn't lose me.- He told Ettar instead. -The old blood will learn no secrets from me and I am still available to render you and our cause further service.-

-You think I need you and your doubtful loyalties?- Ettar roared. -I think not. Especially now that we have lost our last stronghold on Arthame. The planet is lost to us for now and all plans concerning it worthless anyway.-

-Commander Mohawk.- Afrar Kethz interjected from the side.

-Doesn't have a leg to stand on.- Ettar snapped at him. -The best he can do is bind some of their forces on Arthame and keep them away from the real battleground. Oh, he will no doubt do his very best to retake his homeworld, but he must fail. We shall not have Arthame back until we have taken the Warworld now.-

-And I will serve you in that battle with all my heart.- Gattler assured him. -The Warworld is a tough target and you will be glad for every man and vehicle you can throw at it.-

-I can take it without you.- Ettar informed him coldly. -Oh yes. Yes, see if I don't. Now, leave us. I have more important matters to discuss with my Commanders.-

Did that mean he was not to be punished? Or was it his punishment to be excluded from this meeting? Gattler left quite confused, but rather relieved to be out of Ettar's presence and out of everybody's sight.

He was running through endless corridors half expecting the walls to burst into flames at any moment, but nothing happened except that he was still after him. He would never give up.

And he was getting tired, oh so very tired. Could he risk stopping to rest for a moment? Should he make a stand here? There seemed to be no better or worse place anywhere, just the corridor going on and on and on. He was at a disadvantage here. It would be better if he could find a corner to hide behind. There ought to be a corner ...

From one moment to the next, without any warning, his leg gave out. It simply seemed to disappear, feel no purchase anymore, and he fell helpless to the floor with a flare of pain and the knowledge that death was right behind him.

-Aaahhhh!-

-It's alright. There's no fire. The Academy is fine.- Ramszet assured him.

Jesse blinked, gasped for breath and realised that the pain was still there even though the corridor was gone and he was lying quite comfortably in a space capsule.

It wasn't an ideal situation if one suffered from claustrophobia, he thought, but luckily that was one problem he didn't have.

-There was no fire this time.- He told Ramszet. -I was being chased and then ... Well, I guess my subconscious is worried about me not being able to run right now.-

-Your who?-

-That's the part of one's brain that makes up dreams.- Jesse explained. -At least Lutaz said so.-

-Oh. I didn't know it was the brain that does that.- Ramszet declared.

-Apparently it is.- Jesse told him. -Lutaz also said that you're hurt, too?-

-Not much.- Ramszet replied with a shrug. -Mostly scratched and bruised, but I have a cut in my arm. They put a bandage on that. I think that was their excuse for sending me home.-

-I asked them to.- Jesse admitted. -They suggested I might want someone to talk to.-

-Yes, they said they can't make you stop hurting.- Ramszet said. -That sounds awful. I'm glad I can help you. And I didn't really want to stay. I ... I'm supposed to want to command the corps, but I ... I don't know how to do it. I'm afraid of making a mistake.-

-We all are.- Jesse said. -Even Lutaz and Razzle, I think. Being afraid wouldn't be a problem.-

-But?- Ramszet asked in a very small voice.

-You know what I told Nemesis about you. You were there and heard it. I meant it. I'm very pleased with your loyalty and I know you always give your best effort, but you are not made to be a Commander. Being a Commander involves a lot more planes than being a Subcommander and then there are ground vehicles and lots of different positions and supplies and administrative tasks and a lot of things with buttons. You have to keep track of all of those at once and there's nobody you can ask what to do. You couldn't handle that.-

-So?- Ramszet asked still very meekly. -You asked for me on purpose?-

-I did need someone to come with me.- Jesse lied. -And you were hurt and nobody was particularly eager for you to stay, so you were a good choice.-

-They don't like me.-

-What? No. I think most of them do.- Jesse assured him. -I mean, you're a really nice guy. They just know that you're not fit to be a Commander, but they'd have had to make you act as one or insult you if you had stayed. Now that you're gone Razzle can just say that Jatt is too inexperienced and make Azpet do it. It's not an insult when Jatt's not even completed his training yet.-

-Azpet has no officers' training at all.- Ramszet said. -That's not good.-

-He has experience.- Jesse returned. -He's watched me do the job for years and he has the talent for keeping track of things that you lack. Remember all the ideas he had when Razzle asked him what we should do to find the rebels' positions? That's the sort of thing a Commander's supposed to be able to do.-

-So there's a lot more than just buttons I'm not good enough at.- Ramszet realised.

-If you want to be a Commander, yes.- Jesse admitted. -But most people don't become Commanders. You're already a Subcommander, so surely nobody can consider you a failure.-

-You won't keep me as second in command, though.- Ramszet said. -Or this would just happen again next time you get hurt. ... Not that I want you to get hurt again, but most people do more than once.-

-I won't.- Jesse confirmed. -It's Uraksz job and I want to give it back to him when this war is over. That was always the plan, so you can tell people it isn't a demotion either. It's only the end of a temporary job.-

-You're really pleased with me?- Ramszet asked after a moment. -You didn't just say that to Nemesis to be nice? Jatt said ...-

-Jatt had better mind his own performance instead of criticising other people's.- Jesse declared. -He's the guy that let Mohawk break through our line, not you. You'd have known better than to order your troops to stop firing when I'd ordered you to fight Mohawk. And Razzle told me you almost caught Ettar, too. I'm very pleased with that.-

-But I failed. I got shot down and the strikers I sent after him lost him.-

-So did I. I tried to catch him and lost both him and my leg in the bargain.-

-Foot.- Ramszet corrected. -It's just the foot. The leg's still there. The whole leg would have been a lot worse. It takes really long to learn to use a new leg. A foot's much faster. I think one can walk again as soon as that's healed. You just limp real bad at first.-

-Wonderful.- Jesse said rolling his eyes. -Anyway, nobody can blame you for losing the Ice Bird. It's faster than a striker and has a lot more firepower. You tried your best, but would have needed a lot of luck to succeed.-

-It would have ended the war. Nobody could call me a failure if I manage to win a war for us, right?-

-Nobody could, but catching Ettar wouldn't have done it.- Jesse assured Ramszet. -They have too many other Commanders. Losing Ettar would have weakened them, but they'd have fought on.-

-But Kieste said ...-

-Kieste? If he said capturing Ettar could end the war he hasn't talked with Razzle. Razzle told me Cuth would succeed Ettar.-

-No, he didn't really say that.- Ramszet admitted. -He said the other Commanders don't all want the war. He said Gattler was all against joining the rebels and Afrar Sesta made him and Mohawk's not happy either.-

-Well, that's fine as far as it goes, but Gattler and Mohawk are quite low on the succession list, I think. Cuth won't care what they want. And I don't know Cuth all that well. I've never shared a dorm with him or co-operated on a mission.-

-They say he's a better dorm elder than Razzle.- Ramszet said, then frowned. -But Razzle wasn't at all bad. I mean, he stole Lutazsz pillow. Khroks would punch someone that doesn't let him sleep. Real hard. And if he did it again he'd kick him out of the dorm. And I like being in Khrokssz dorm a lot.-

-I don't know Khroks either.- Jesse admitted. -And I couldn't well move into his dorm. Cuth always struck me as too strict, but maybe that's just outside appearances. I definitely wouldn't want to be in Istarsz dorm in any case. Imagine training with him.-

-Does he do that? I thought that was just Razzle. I've never been in a dorm that trained together before this mission.-

-Really?- Jesse asked quite surprised. -I always took it to be a matter of course. I mean, we didn't on Ishara, but most of the guys there weren't soldiers.-

-Did it hurt?- Ramszet asked.

-Hurt? Did what hurt? Training with Razzle?-

-No, what they did to you on Ishara. I've never been there or met anyone else that has.-

Jesse laughed.

-Hell no. Ishara is awfully cold and none of the radiators work quite right, but the work is just boring ... at least the stuff they make nobles do. The commoners do actual mining work that includes heavy lifting, so I guess that's exhausting. I just sat at a desk most of the time.-

-Oh.- Ramszet said. -That is a very strange punishment.-

-Well, it wasn't exactly pleasant either.- Jesse assured him. -They can't get people to live on such a cold world voluntarily and they need someone to do all the work.-

-And it made you drink.- Ramszet decided. -That's pretty bad.-

-It didn't.- Jesse corrected. -It was the nightmares that did that. That would have happened with any other punishment as well. ... Well, except for the vapour chambers. One can't pick up any bad habits there.-

Ramszet shuddered.

-Those are worse than drinking.- He declared.

-Razzle said they are actually pretty pleasant. You don't notice anything at all, he said.- Jesse remembered. -Though, I suppose one would still dream, wouldn't one? Just without waking up. I guess that would have been worse, a year-long nightmare.-

-I don't know.- Ramszet admitted. -I've never been in a chamber and grandmother never said anything about dreams. She doesn't get nightmares. ... Doesn't have a nightmare problem like you and Auntie, I mean. I'm sure she does get them sometimes, just only as much as is normal.-

Jesse almost laughed, but he didn't want Ramszet to think he was laughing at him.

-Don't worry about it. I'm sure it'll be easy enough to find out if we ever need to know. A lot of people have experienced it.-

-You don't think they'll send me there for failing to catch Ettar?- Ramszet asked.

-What? No! I doubt anybody will even think of it, but if someone does threaten you with punishment tell me and I'll inform them how pleased I am with your effort. You made exactly the right decisions and nobody could have asked for more.-

-You don't think they will be angry that I returned home when I only have a little cut?-

-That's not your fault.- Jesse assured him. -You don't have to tell them that you wanted to go home. You just tell them that you were ordered to go and they should take their complaint to one of the Commanders in charge. We talked about it and all agreed that you should accompany me. I doubt Nemesis wants you in charge of a corps any more than I do, though. He knows you're not the right man for that. I'm sure he'll find a way to keep you on the Warworld until I'm ready to return as well.-

At first after the battle Lutaz had a lot to do sorting out the wounded, arranging for their care and compiling the list of the fallen, but once that was taken care of he went in search of his fellow Commander in order to get an update on the military situation.

Losing the cave must mean a big blow to the rebels and they'd have to rearrange their positions accordingly. And rearrangement of their positions would necessitate rearrangement of Jesse's line of troops, which in turn would require moving some of the medical shuttles as well.

Not to mention that Lutaz didn't trust Azpet to choose the best positions for his troops. Jesse had proven surprisingly competent at it considering his youth, but Jesse had a lot more experience than he had any right to. Azpet had never done this before. Lutaz was determined to be around and ready to offer competent and well informed advice when the secretary made his plans.

Razzle was the most obvious source of the required information, so in search of Razzle Lutaz went.

He wasn't in the strategy room and neither was Azpet. Only Jatt and Evar were busy with administrative work there.

-Do you know where Razzle is?- Lutaz asked them.

-Left a while ago.- Jatt reported. -I'm sure he'll be back for dinner, though.-

-I haven't seen him.- Evar admitted. -But I only just returned from Gouraland.-

-Of course. Anything urgent over there?- Evar would have been making personal checks of the situations at the field hospitals and arranging redistributions of patients if he found shortages of the required medicines or medical equipment in a particular location.

-Nothing's on fire.- Evar assured him. -But we used up a lot of wound cleanser thanks to the dust on the battleground. We'd better arrange for resupply of that.-

Lutaz nodded. -That shouldn't be a problem. We do have fruit transports going out everyday after all. They'll be glad not to have to return entirely empty for once. Just pass the request on to the capital.-

Of course he wasn't going to stand or sit around and wait for Razzle to return as that little fool Jatt appeared to assume. Instead he went to the capital where Hejkaz was busy arranging the arrival of the wounded prisoners.

-Razzle?- Hejkaz told him while pushing a hover-stretcher out of the direct route from the shuttle landing place to the door of the prison's hospital wing. -He was here earlier, stared at the prisoners for a bit and then ordered us to put up an extra separation so the kids can use the yard at the same time as the new prisoners without having to mingle with them. Don't ask me why, he didn't say.-

-Do you know where he is now, though?- Lutaz asked not at all in the mood to explain the obvious.

-Gone over to Gouraland to see the prisoners there, I think.-

So Lutaz flew over to the temporary prisoner collection point on Gouraland. Everything appeared to be in chaos there since by the time he arrived the shipping of prisoners was well under way, the slightly wounded already having been shipped out.

Lutaz wound his way through the hover stretchers transporting stabilised prisoners with more severe injuries, but couldn't find any officers belonging to Razzle's corps at all. Most of the people here were the bottom ranks of Jesse's medical personnel with one of Lutaz's own nurses in charge while the rest of the local medical shuttle's crew was busy stabilising the remaining patients.

Lutaz got cursed and glared at until he finally found a guard that had time enough to tell him that Razzle had been here and flown off again. The guy was one of Jesse's common soldiers, only just bright enough that Lutaz trusted him to actually know what Razzle looked like and utterly clueless as to where Razzle had flown to.

To be entirely fair there was absolutely no reason a common guard should be informed of Razzle's movements.

Lutaz sighed and decided to try the battlefield next. He was vaguely curious to see the cave and it seemed reasonable enough that Razzle would want a closer look at whatever the escaping rebels might have left behind.

So he flew to the cave and had a look around. As it turned out it was not just a single cave, but a system of interconnected ones of various sizes that could have housed much more people than it actually had. They'd already been cleared of dead and wounded, but there still were a lot of damaged vehicles and techs and mechanics were swarming all over the place checking what could be salvaged and looking for any data the rebels might have left behind.

Quite a number of them had seen and even spoken with Razzle - including even some pretty low ranking mechanics that Lutaz usually wouldn't have given the time of day - but he wasn't with them now.

-I think he mostly came to take Commander Jessesz ship away.- One of the mechanics volunteered. -He had a look around to see how work's progressing while they cleared the way for that, but he wasn't interested enough in any of it to actually help. He was just checking when he can expect the results, I suppose.-

-There's nothing here we're in urgent need of.- A very junior tech officer added. -The salvage, I mean. Lots of useful stuff, of course, but it's all going into storage, possibly even back to the Warworld. Intel's probably much more interesting, but he didn't stay there for very long either. Guess they hadn't found anything good yet.-

-They probably won't.- Lutaz informed the uppity youngster in his most condescending tone. -They had plenty of time to see us coming and prepare their retreat. It would have been foolish of them to rely so completely on us overlooking the cave entrances not to pack up all sensitive data.-

-They had to pack them somewhere, though.- The mechanic declared undaunted. -I expect they were in the vehicles and might still be found in one of the wrecks.-

-Those would have been the vehicles they exposed to the least danger.- The tech officer countered. -They probably got out while others drew our fire. But intel will look, of course. They always do.-

Lutaz glared at them both, had a look at Tarsz shrine since it wasn't that far from where they were standing and then flew to Goura house.

This time he'd guessed wrong. Razzle hadn't been here.

-Why would he?- One soldier said looking up from his sketchpad. -We weren't involved in the fighting. All that happened here is that we saw some rebels fly past on the horizon. They were wise enough not to come anywhere near firing range.-

-Which way did they go?- Lutaz demanded determined to get at least something useful out of this visit.

-Their heading was South-South-West.- The soldier replied with a shrug. -But that may have been a curve to avoid us. From what I heard they dispersed in every direction once out of their cave so it stands to reason they were wise enough to obscure their final destination. They'll hardly have been stupid enough to let us here see the correct course.-

-Maybe not.- Lutaz had to agree. -But they may have thought they were far enough away to go unnoticed or that we'd automatically assume they were trying to mislead us and ignore their course. I'll keep it in mind in any case.-

He tried the centre position of Jesse's line next and found that it had already been abandoned. Apparently he was too late and Azpet had made his dispositions without him. Had he shown them to Razzle then? In that case Razzle must have returned to the Uthene complex and Lutaz was on the wrong continent.

Consequently he returned home.

Razzle's striker was indeed parked right next to his tank. Jesse's ship, however, was nowhere to be seen. Odd, hadn't Razzle had it brought back?

It still took surprisingly long to actually find Razzle. He wasn't under the tank or in the garden or in the planning room - which was now occupied by Kieste and a very sulky Jatt.

Finally Lutaz went to change into a fresh tunic and found Razzle in the dorm.

-What are you doing here in this heat?-

-You're here as well.- Razzle pointed out.

-I'm not planning on staying.- Lutaz explained. -You could read outside.-

-With everybody else getting underfoot and asking what I'm reading and whether it's any good.- Razzle said. -I wanted to be alone.-

That was quite a strange wish. The only person Lutaz had ever met that said things like that was Jesse and Razzle had informed him that that appeared to be due to his Fleshling blood.

-Are you trying to make up for Jessesz absence?-

-I'm trying to read in peace. I ...-

-They told me you'd gone to the cave to get Jessesz ship.- Lutaz tried when Razzle didn't continue. -I didn't see it here, though.-

-I had one of his least intelligent pilots fly it to the Warworld.- Razzle explained. -It's not like we can give it to somebody else and he might like to have it with him. Considering the current situation his corps might be stationed elsewhere by the time he returns anyway and this way he can fly out to it in his own ship wherever it is.-

-The line's been moved. Was that you?-

-Azpet and Kieste.- Razzle returned. -Though Kieste tells me he did little more than nod and say 'sounds reasonable'. There are one or two positions I might have arranged slightly differently, but it's solid enough as is, so kindly don't try to cramp Azpetsz style. He'll develop more confidence in his leadership skills if we don't make unnecessary corrections.-

-He's a common soldier. He'll probably never command anything again after Jesse gets back.-

-Maybe not, but he does have it in him and under the circumstances I might try to talk Nemesis into a commendation. A common soldier that's been commended for leadership ability is likely to be used as wing second and a wing second's not unlikely to command a wing from time to time.-

-Jesse's not likely to give up his secretary that easily.-

-He might find another someday. A green kid right out of officers' training can learn a lot in such a post.-

-So you're planning out Jessesz staff appointments for him?-

-No, he wouldn't like that at all. I'm just thinking out what he might want to do someday. It beats ...-

-Beats what?-

-Beating myself over the head over what he said when he woke up.-

Lutaz tried to recall the exact words that had been said then, but came up empty.

-About wanting to stay?- He ventured. -You may not be a med officer, but surely you can see that that wouldn't have worked.-

-About it being my fault that he got hurt and Ettar escaped.-

-Now that's ridiculous. He's the one that was fighting Ettar.-

-He was in pain and angry at his failure and being sent home and he lashed out.- Razzle stated. -But he did have a point. It wasn't a random lash. Ettar ran past me on his way to his ship. Jesse was behind him and called out to me to help. I ... was having a stare-down with Gattler that was entirely unnecessary and brought absolutely no result. I could have disengaged and joined Jessesz chase after Ettar.-

-Gattler could have shot you in the back from the sound of that.- Lutaz analysed.

-Could, yes. But he wouldn't. He'd have been glad to get an excuse to get away without firing a shot and I should have been, too.-

-It would hardly have changed the outcome much.- Lutaz pointed out. -On foot you're no more a match for a spaceship than Jesse was. We might have lost both of you instead of just him.-

-Or we might have stopped him before he could get into the cockpit.- Razzle returned. -I don't know, but I might have let Jesse down a second time there and he might have been killed.-

-Those things happen in battle.- Lutaz reminded him. -Everything's in chaos, unexpected things happen left and right, people die.-

-Of course.- Razzle said getting up and closing his book. -But since you're here I'll find myself a quieter place to read.-

-Sorry, but you really don't have to. I'll be gone in a moment.-

But Razzle was already out the door.

Lutaz looked after him trying to replay the conversation in his mind and match it with the things he'd been taught about psychology. Razzle was troubled about this ... and more attached to Jesse than he had any right to be considering Jean Claude's prior claim. That would probably lead to trouble unless Gattler returned to them soon ... which wasn't at all likely given the political situation.

Of course politics could be as random as dreidels and it never paid to bet on long-term forecasts there.

For now Jesse was safely out of the way and perhaps Lutaz could find Razzle a safer alternative before Jean Claude noticed hat there was anything going on. Jean Claude luckily had no clue of psychology and little experience in companionship.

Was there any risk that Razzle might get himself hurt in an attempt to assuage his perceived guilt over 'having let Jesse down'? And what the hell was that about it being the second time? When had Razzle ever let Jesse down before?


	19. Chapter 18: Requirements

Disclaimer 1: This is fanfic. That means I do not own any of it. I just borrow it to play with for a little while and let people see the pathetic results if they really want to.

Disclaimer 2: I'm not making any money from it. It's just for fun.

Disclaimer 3: What isn't borrowed is all made up. None of this is real or most likely at all realistic. Please don't trust any of the information in here. Most likely you know more about whatever I'm writing about than I do.

Disclaimer 4: Attitudes, views and opinions expressed by the characters or in the story are not necessarily those of the author. Even when writing Science Fiction or Fantasy I do not tend to attempt to create perfect/better worlds in which everybody gets a happy end ... or whatever is best for them. Please accept that some characters will have a bad ending or be unhappy.

Disclaimer 5: I intend no insult to anyone. If I offend anyone I'm very sorry. Please understand that it was an accident as I tend to be very clumsy in these things.

Chapter 18: Requirements

The corridor and walls were covered in ice making it impossible to run so he tried to slide instead, but his right leg felt as if it were on fire and wouldn't obey him and he fell.

He tried to push himself back up, but the moment his hands touched the frozen floor they became numb with cold and he no longer knew where they even were.

He rolled onto his back instead, just in time to see the huge blue renegade stalk into the corridor. The murderous blue beak seemed to grin with satisfaction as it noticed him.

-NOOOOO!-

-It's alright. Just a dream.-

-Ramszet? Weren't you supposed to get your cut treated and be sent home?-

-Of course.- Ramszet replied. -But I'm also supposed to keep you company, remember? ... Your foot shouldn't harm your memory, I think?-

-That was on the transport.- Jesse explained. -Because they couldn't give me anything strong enough for the pain.-

-But you do still need company. And doesn't it hurt? The nurse said it would.-

Jesse looked down to where his right foot was supposed to be. All he could see there were bandages.

-Actually, it does. Funny how I didn't realise that at once.-

-Great-uncle always said one gets used to pain if it hurts long enough.- Ramszet stated. -I never managed to, though. It always hurt too much.-

-Was he a med officer?- Jesse guessed.

-No, he was just very old and had bone aches. And he didn't like it when we children got medicine and he didn't. He told good war stories if you asked the right way, though. My fourth cousin on the maternal side was really good at it. I never learned, but I was still young when he died.-

-That's a pity.- Jesse declared since it seemed the polite thing to say. -You could probably have learned a lot from him, but I expect you had other old relatives that were still alive when you went to the Academy?-

-Oh yes, maternal Grandmother gave me a lot of good advice what subjects to choose. Afrar thought it was all nonsense, though, and made me take the ones he'd had instead. I failed out of three in the first month. That was really embarrassing, but maternal Grandmother took me by the hand and led me straight to Afrar and threw the notes on his desk. 'See! Now will you listen to me?' And then she told me which ones to take instead and Afrar let me. The next year I took exactly the subjects maternal Grandmother told me to and it all got a lot easier.-

-Choosing the right subjects must be really important.- Jesse suggested. -Razzle said that's what made his career ... and that Azpet chose wrong.-

-His maternal Grandmother didn't know a thing about it.- Ramszet informed him. -She puts soles on dancing shoes. And his Afrar makes soldiers' boots. Maybe he even made mine. Azpet likes to think that.-

-He never told me that.- Jesse realised with a touch of surprise. -That is, he did say his clan are cobblers, but he never told about his relatives' work.-

-Of course not. Razzle's always there when you eat with us. Can't talk about making boots with Razzle there.-

-Why not? He's perfectly happy to talk about gods and poetry. Why wouldn't he want to talk about our boots? At least those have actual use in our work.-

-Boots are very important.- Ramszet said to Jesse's surprise. -During my first time in the Fleshling dimension the sole came off one of mine and the supply-master was out of my size and we were in a secret base so we couldn't get a supply shuttle to bring them either. I almost thought I'd need a new foot after that.-

-I guess I should pay more attention to clothing supplies.- Jesse mused. -I always keep tabs on food and ammunition, but I usually just sign off uniform orders without bothering to remember the numbers.-

-We have a supply-master to make sure they're right.- Ramszet pointed out.

-Yes, but the supply-master might make a mistake.- Jesse reminded him. -You often make mistakes in the guard schedules, why shouldn't the supply-master make one in a clothing order. I don't have to wear uniform, but all the rest of you do.-

-If people make mistakes you should fire them and get somebody who doesn't.- A passing nurse threw in.

Ramszet flinched and ducked as if expecting her to hit him.

-That might be necessary in your line of work.- Jesse informed her. -But it doesn't work that well in the army. Soldiers have a lot of very different tasks and most of them must be performed quickly or under unfavourable circumstances. You can't expect them all to be equally good at every task and never to slip up. You can't just fire every pilot who has problems calculating supplies or firing a hand-gun. You try not to make that guy supply master, but you'll still have to use him as a guard sometimes and if the supply-master gets injured somebody has to do the work and it might just be that all the people available are sharpshooters that hate math.-

-If we miscalculate medicine, patients die.- The nurse stated. -And from what it says here, you ought not to be awake, yet.-

Jesse shrugged at her as best he could while lying down.

-People keep complaining that they can't give me stronger medicine because of my other medication today. I guess they had to use something unusually mild for the surgery as well.-

-They didn't.- The nurse said waving a notepad about as proof.

Jesse couldn't see what it said there, but knew that he wouldn't know what to make of the information anyway. He didn't even know the names of the most basic Outrider medicines, much less what dosages ought to do what.

-Oh, that's quite alright.- Another nurse informed her pulling the notepad out of her hand. -Don't go mucking about with a half-Fleshling if you haven't been briefed. They tend to under-react to just about everything you give them. Fleshlings have really tough metabolisms. Next to impossible to poison, they say.-

Jesse snorted.

-I could tell you of quite a number of things that Fleshlings know poison Fleshlings.- He informed the new nurse. -By their Fleshling names, that is.-

-Oh, I could tell you a lot of things, too. Almost everything that you can kill an Outrider with will work on a Fleshling as well ... as long as you make the dose high enough. The fascinating thing is that they almost always survive what we'd consider the lethal dose. And you half-bloods are even more difficult, since there's no predicting to what extent you inherited the Fleshling resistance to which substance. Dosing one of you is quite a headache I can tell you.-

-A painkiller would be very much appreciated right now.- Jesse stated.

The nurses gaped at him.

-You shouldn't repeat so many words you hear from Razzle.- Ramszet advised. -People don't know what you're saying.-

-My foot hurts.- Jesse stated very slowly and simply. -Can you give me something for that?-

-I'll tell Moku.- The male nurse promised. -I'm not supposed to dose half-Fleshlings myself as long as there is a doctor available to do it.-

-Please do. And ...- But the nurses had already fled.

Moku appeared in person about half an hour later causing Ramszet to retreat hastily.

-You aren't mad at him for returning with such minor injuries, are you?- Jesse asked the head doctor. -Because it really wasn't his idea.-

-No.- Moku replied. -But I do wish I knew what Commander Lutaz was thinking.-

-That Ramszet isn't fit to serve as a Commander, not even temporarily and most certainly not on active duty. I could see him command troops waiting for an assignment here on the Warworld, but the moment there's manoeuvring or fighting to be done he'd be in over his head. Sending him home was the politest way to side-line him.-

Moku nodded but whether that was in reaction to Jesse's explanation or the readings he was getting from his dispenser bracelet Jesse couldn't tell.

-I take it Lutaz is qualified and authorised to make such decisions concerning your troops. I am not.- He commented.

-Not quite authorised.- Jesse realised. -But Razzle was in on it and with me off he would be. Damned bastard.-

-You don't agree with the decision after all then?-

-Oh, I do, but it's Razzle's fault I got hurt in the first place. If he'd just done his duty and shot Gattler we'd have sent Ettar home as a prisoner instead.-

-Oh, did Razzle neglect his duty then?- Moku purred in a tone Jesse had never heard from him before. -Why don't you tell me all about it?-

-Gladly ... after you give me something for the pain and show me what you've done to my leg.- Jesse promised.

-I'd like to wait another hour or two to give your alcohol medication the chance to wear off completely.- Moku explained. -Then we can use the normal pain medication and you'll require less frequent and milder doses. If I give you something that's compatible with both the alcohol medication and the sedative we used during the surgery now, we'll need something that's compatible with that afterwards and then yet another medicine to bridge from that to the normal stuff. The cross-reactions might not be all that bad, but together with the side and after effects of the various drugs I think the combined discomfort would actually be worse than suffering the pain now.-

He was letting the alcohol medication run out? Then maybe if he went about it cleverly enough Jesse could get rid of the damned bracelet entirely! That was worth quite a lot of pain.

-Alright.- He agreed. -Just let me see the leg then?-

-Foot.- Moku corrected, but did start working on the bandages. -The cut's only just above the ankle. Very nice work for a mere med officer, too. Did Lutaz do it himself?-

-No, it ...- Maybe it wasn't wise to reveal that Gattler had helped with the clean-up before escaping. While Jesse himself could hardly be blamed for things that had been neglected while he'd been unconscious Lutaz, Ramszet or Azpet might be held responsible for not assuring that someone kept an eye on such a valuable prisoner. -As far as I know it was done right on the battlefield while Lutaz was coordinating operations at headquarters half the world away. I expect it was one of the older officers ... maybe the head of one of Lutazsz shuttle crews. Those must be rather more experienced than your average med officer, I'd expect.-

-For the most part, yes.- Moku agreed. -And the shuttles carry more and better medical equipment, too, so the best tools would have been on hand. It didn't look like ... oh well, it doesn't really matter what equipment was used. It was a well performed cut and I was able to save almost all the remaining tissue. The worst news is that the ankle is gone. That's a rather important joint for walking and it takes time to learn to use an artificial joint. That is most unfortunate when we apparently are short of Commanders. I'll do what I can to prevent Nemesis pressing you back into active service before you're able to use a foot pedal again, but it might be wise if you keep him ignorant of your actual level of progress. He does get rather impatient.-

-I do want to go back as soon as possible myself.- Jesse explained. -Perhaps I can arrange to borrow a two men ship Ramszet can fly me about in.-

-I believe my family still has a heavy cruiser that used to belong to our last Commander. We may already have lent it to somebody else, of course, but ...-

-A heavy cruiser would be entirely useless on Arthame.- Jesse told him. -Much as I appreciate the offer. It'd leave me confined to the spaceport since that's the only landing spot large enough. Even the medical shuttles are pretty limited on that world. I'll need something only just big enough for two people to be comfortable in.-

-Well, you'll have plenty of time to ask around.- Moku decided. -You won't be able to get about much for a week or two and it'll take some practising before you're skilled enough to get into a cockpit on crutches.-

-Wonderful.- Jesse commented. -Now, can I see what it looks like?-

It looked metallic, of course, though Jesse thought one could imagine it to be just an armoured shoe with a metal cuff just above the ankle. When he tried to move the foot a wave of pain shot through his entire leg and the foot didn't even twitch.

-You have to give the connections time to actually heal.- Moku informed him. -Even if you don't see a wound I assure you it is there. I'll tell you once you're ready to use the new foot.-

It didn't exactly put Jesse into a forgiving mood towards Razzle and the story he told Moku was perhaps a bit more accusatory than it needed to have been. It helped to get that anger off his chest, though, and by the time Ramszet reappeared Jesse was quite ready to discuss details of what sort of ship he was looking to borrow.

Ramszet listened very attentively, managed to repeat it correctly after only ten repetitions and promised to give it his very best effort.

-I know Commander Pointsz units have several like that.- He said. -Azpet told me about them.-

-Point isn't here, though.- Jesse reminded him. -And he probably took all those ships along since he's holding a space line. They'll be useful there. Orat might have some he doesn't have much use for right now, but he's not likely to want to do me any favours. Definitely don't approach him directly. Try his secretary if he has one, or else a Subcommander. ... But go to Gaspar first. I'm not sure he has what we need, but he'll be much more willing to help.-

Ramszet nodded eagerly. -That will be easy. He even sent Thekre to me earlier. Said he's very busy right now, but will visit you when he gets off duty.-

Jesse laughed.

-Well, in that case don't go running after him. I'll just ask him myself when he gets here.-

Gaspar did indeed appear about half an hour later. He seemed downright apologetic when he explained that he couldn't possibly have gotten away before now.

-Hey.- Jesse reminded him. -I get it. I know what it takes to keep a garrison running during wartime.-

-It's not so much the running.- Gaspar objected. -It's the sitting still that's causing the problem. At first everybody was quite diligent, but we haven't been attacked and the common soldiers think that means we never will be.-

-The rebels have been focussing on Arthame until now.- Jesse diagnosed. -But they just lost their centre of operations there. The last thing I heard was that both Ettar and Gattler escaped. Do you know what they did afterwards?-

Gaspar shrugged.

-I expect we'll hear that in tomorrow's morning strategy meeting. All I have now are unconfirmed rumours.- He replied.

-So what do those rumours say?-

-I trust the information you gave me is certain?- Gaspar inquired. -Because I've heard the opposite as well.-

-It's certain unless something changed after I left Arthame.- Jesse confirmed. -Which I doubt since the battle was well and definitely over and it was Razzle and Lutaz that told me Ettar and Gattler had gotten away. I don't know details about Gattler, but Ettar took off in his ship and broke through our surrounding line. Ramszet tried to stop him in person, but one striker has little chance against that monster and by the time reinforcements got there Ettar had gotten past and they couldn't catch up with him. Considering the terrain and our positions Ettar should have had an easy time disappearing into the jungle after that. Gattler was on foot last I saw him, but I expect some vehicle will have picked him up afterwards. I suppose if we have taken him after all that will weaken Ettar's position on Arthame further and he'd be more likely to switch to a plan Gattler has no or little knowledge of. He'll probably have been instrumental in all plans made concerning Arthame since Ettar would have to be a capital fool to discuss strategy with Mohawk.-

-Mohawk's a fine and very competent Commander.- Gaspar noted.

-In his own line no doubt.- Jesse assured him. -Strategy is very much not in his line, though. ... That's the thing Ettar lacks, an outright strategist. As far as I can tell he himself has the best head for strategy of all the rebel Commanders, but from all I hear he's primarily a grand scale tactician. ... Nemesis made a mistake sending all his strategists to Arthame. The best way to win this war is by long term planning.-

-Now that isn't in my line.- Gaspar informed him. -All I know is that I need to defend the Warworld and it might be attacked any moment. It's a good world to defend, but my new recruits aren't up for a waiting game.-

-Are you?- Jesse asked him.

From what he'd seen of Gaspar in simulations he was an excellent choice to command a defensive position, but simulations never ran over more than a few hours and rarely that long since there was usually work to be done and other people deserved a chance to use the simulator as well.

-Oh yes, I can wait.- Gaspar confirmed. -The problem is that you need veterans for a waiting game. Fresh recruits are too eager to prove themselves in battle, but I had to take on quite a lot of them to fill vacant positions after the rebels left.-

-Good point.- Jesse mused. -Very good point. I should have realised that.-

-Eh?-

-I spent some time pondering the merits of the young and inexperienced as compared to the experienced and over-aged when filling my gaps. That angle didn't occur to me at the time.-

-Ah yes, you never had officers' training. There are lectures on recruiting in the final year. Of course by the time I actually got to recruit people for the first time I'd forgotten most of it, but one remembers the important stuff after the fist mistakes.-

-And what would you say is the most important stuff?- Jesse asked trying to sound casual.

He'd probably have to track down some schoolbooks sometime soon, but it would be difficult from this bed and he'd rather not be caught reading them either. Until he found a way to do it in secret he'd have to make due with what information he could get out of his fellow Commanders.

-Well, the first thing you've got to look at isn't actually the recruits, but yourself.- Gaspar explained. -Much like you said about Mohawk, actually. You have to decide what your line is, what you're going to do with those recruits. Like, if you're Mohawk, you want to have a fast and strong strikeforce. Then you hire the young ones that are eager to fight. You also want them to be strong ... and you get a lot of med officers, if you can, because you're going to have a lot of wounded. But if you're me and prefer to play defensive games, you want old hands that have already proven themselves and know how to wait. You'll still want a few med officers, but the most important speciality for you are the pioneers that build your entrenchments. ... I don't need them so much here since the planet's already armed to the teeth, but when you're dropped off on a newly conquered, most likely damaged, base and told to hold that every extra pioneer is worth his weight in gold. And if you're Jean Claude and want to do intell, then you get intell and only intell. Well, if you have a larger team, you might want to include one med officer and a programmer. ... You know, I don't know what you do if you're Razzle. I've got no idea how he picks them.-

-Oh, Razzle's got some of everything.- Jesse told him. -In about equal numbers distributed evenly throughout his troops. ... Everything except big and stupid, that is. I don't think he has a single soldier that can't spell ... and I only ever managed to get one Subcommander that could and lost him again.-

-Yeah well, there's an advantage when you're Razzle ... or Mohawk. Because when you're that famous, then you can actually get exactly what you want. When you're young or hardly ever fight glorious battles, then the chances are that the recruits have never heard of you and would much rather be hired by Razzle or Mohawk. Until you get up there you've got to take the closest you can get to what you actually want. ... If you still want to get rid of Ramszet, though ...-

-No!- Jesse yelped surprising even himself by his vehement reaction. -I like Ramszet. I'm very pleased with him ... for tasks that are in his line. The only problem I have with him is that being a Commander's second isn't in his line, but I had to put him in that spot, because I couldn't get anyone else that's qualified.-

-Ah, pity. I could really use an obedient and persistent fellow like that for my air defence. The guy I have there now's an awful hot-head. ... Come to think of it, though, I really ought to offer that one to Istar. He isn't exactly second in command material either.-

-I'd say not, if he's a hot-head.- Jesse agreed. -What I'm looking for is someone with a brain that can keep his head in a crisis ... and has some experience to boot.-

Come to think of it, Ramszet actually had two out of three. He only lacked the brain.

-And I can't spare any of my experienced guys in my current situation.- Gaspar said. -Besides, what else do you have to offer in return? Jatt's going back to school as soon as it opens again, so he isn't worth a wet pebble, I've got a perfectly good secretary with a fine pedigree ...-

-Azpet's not up for trade either.- Jesse stated. -He's the one guy that's worth even more than Ramszet to me. ... Nisse might suit you, but I'm not sure I want to trade her either. Definitely not until I'm rid of Jatt. She's his second and I can't give a green kid a green or incompetent second. Urak could have broken in a young hot-head, but Jatt would probably let the fellow run off with him.-

-So the Devil's son hasn't proven satisfactory?-

Jesse snorted.

-He's been a great object lesson in why officers need officers' training, I guess. Mostly ... he does the job I officially hired Azpet for, Nisse does Jatt's official job, Ramszet functions as a normal Subcommander and Azpet handles most of the duties of my second. ... Damnit, I never thought to ask who's going to take over Ramszetsz or Azpetsz duties while we're stuck here. Jatt can't be trusted with it. Skiz is too lazy and Rok doesn't have a clue. ... Mind you, I don't think Rok's any less intelligent than Ramszet, so I suppose he can learn the job if he puts his mind to it.-

-So, one of my smarter hot-heads for your Rok when you return to your troops?- Gaspar offered. -To serve under Ramszet so you don't have to combine two green officers.-

-I'd like to meet the fellow and see his file first. ... You wouldn't happen to have any tech officers among your hot-heads? I could really use that.-

-I have a programmer.- Gaspar suggested. -Very disobedient and has been in at least one brawl, but I hear you're good at putting them in their places and he'll probably stop brawling once he settles down a little.-

-Mmmh, worth a look.- Jesse decided. -I don't exactly have a shortage of programmers, but I'm not overrun with them either and they tend to be somewhat smarter than the average soldier. Other options?-

-Two guys I accepted because they're pioneers, but that haven't been at all satisfactory.- Gaspar offered. -I'm not sure why you'd be interested in those, though. They seem more suited to Istarsz troops at this point, unless you're actually looking for pioneers.-

-Nope, tech officers and officers with brains are what I really need. Do they have brains?-

-Not to an extent that I've noticed, but they aren't notable for their stupidity either..- Gaspar admitted. -There's a sharpshooter that does, but he's an untried wing second. You'll hardly want him seconding a Subcommander.-

-I can promote one of the current wing leaders to succeed Rok and make the new guy the most junior wing leader. That wouldn't be the problem. He'd have to go under Jattsz command after all, though. Ramzetsz units are all flyers and why the hell would I want a sharpshooter to serve as a pilot?-

-I doubt he has a license anyway.- Gaspar admitted. -My sharpshooters are almost all light infantry.-

-I'd like to have a look at his file anyway.- Jesse decided. -Nisse could probably bring him up nicely and the lack of brains is unfortunately a general problem in all my units.-

-Orat has a fellow that I hear is driving him crazy by being smarter than he is.- Gaspar remembered suddenly. -I doubt he's desperate enough to trade with you, though.-

-But he might be willing to trade with you as long as my name doesn't come up in the transaction?- Jesse asked.

Gaspar shrugged. -Maybe. It'd depend on how much he wants what I have to offer, I guess.-

-Well then, perhaps you might feel inclined to help poor Orat out of the goodness of your heart and find afterwards that you can't stand the guy either.- Jesse hinted. -And perhaps it might just happen that I'd be looking to trade then.-

-It definitely can't hurt if I ask Orat what he'd like.- Gaspar promised.

-I'll probably be here for a while, so there's no need to rush our trade.- Jesse told him. -Though if you happened to have a ship I can borrow you might be able to shorten my stay.-

-Your ship arrived shortly after you did.- Gaspar replied much to Jesse's surprise. -It's waiting in the hangar.-

-That's good to know, but Moku tells me I won't be able to use a foot pedal for quite a while, yet, so I need something that's meant to carry a passenger. At the same time it'll have to be small to be able to land anywhere on Arthame. It's dense forest just about everywhere there.-

Gaspar frowned.

-Not exactly my sort of thing.- He admitted. -There might be something in the pool, though. I'll see what I can find.-

Jesse wasn't quite sure why Gaspar stayed around for another hour after that, but as far as he was concerned the wish to trade officers explained the visit satisfactorily enough. When Gaspar reappeared the next day he assumed that he'd come to inform him of the result of either his talk with Istar or the search for the ship, but no, Istar remained on Rukkat and he hadn't heard back from his supply officer, yet.

-We're short on ammunition for the small rocket launchers.- Gaspar explained apologetically. -That has to take priority right now since apparently you were quite right about the risk of an attack having increased after the battle on Arthame.-

-Did we recapture Gattler after all?- Jesse asked quite excited by the news.

-No, both he and Ettar have been seen flying away from Arthame. Razzle assumes that Mohawk remains there, but the real action will be wherever Ettar will show up next.- Gaspar reported. -Nemesis hopes that it might be Szurat, but thinks it more likely that it's Rukkat or here.-

-Szurat?- Jesse asked. -I hadn't heard that we've got anything going on Szurat.-

-Really? I thought you'd know since it's Jean Claudesz assignment. It is the least important thing we're doing right now, though. We don't even want the place at this time, though apparently Ettar's expected to think that we do. Jean Claudesz orders are to make a pretence at an attack, look menacing and hang around in the area until we've taken Venthe, then fall back on Pointsz position. Having Ettar there would be better than on Venthe, but apparently he's not likely to keep playing a defensive game now that we have Arthame.-

Jesse nodded. It made sense especially considering Gaspar's ammunition problem. Venthe had large ammunition factories while the Warworld, though usually well stocked didn't produce all that much itself. It just didn't have the room. Szurat on the other hand was a source of fuel, which was also a vital resource, but possibly not yet as pressing as the ammunition. If Ettar was unaware of the exact condition of the Warworld's supply stocks, he might well assume that fuel would be more pressing than ammunition.

-We'll need fuel sooner or later, though.- He pointed out. -As I remember we had to restock that more often than ammunition in the past.-

Gaspar shrugged.

-Apparently we still have plenty and there's some coming in from Rukkat.-

-Rukkat? I thought it couldn't even supply itself with anything yet.-

Another shrug.

-I wouldn't know. I can ask in the next strategy meeting, though. Maybe that'll even make me appear smarter than I am.-

Apparently he hadn't come to discuss work, but to play Arbhes, though, which was weird, but fine by Jesse since it helped him pass the time while leaving Ramszet free to do whatever he wanted for a while.

It wasn't until Gaspar visited for the fourth day in a row without having anything new to report that Jesse began to feel confused about his intentions. Perhaps he was simply lonely and bored, though. Apparently he and Orat were the only Commanders left on the Warworld and perhaps he felt it was beneath his dignity to hang out with his Subcommanders.

Jesse never got the chance to trick him into explaining the matter as the very next morning Moku took off his bandages and told him to try moving his foot. It still hurt, but not nearly as much as it had right after the surgery and the prosthetic did indeed respond to his commands now, though not quite the way Jesse would have wished. Somehow it was always too fast or too slow to react.

Moku seemed to be quite pleased with this however and got Jesse a pair of crutches to practise with right away.

Unfortunately Jesse had never used Outrider crutches before. Apparently they too required practise to use properly. By the time he'd figured out how to take three steps in a row without a nurse's assistance he was quite exhausted and happy to return to his bed.

About half an hour later Irstz walked in as if it were the most natural thing in the world.

-Something wrong with the children?- Jesse asked him since that appeared to be the only possible reason Irstz could have to request anything from him now that he'd rendered his favour to Afrar Irozz.

-Oh no, unless you count the loss of education due to the Academy being closed they are doing perfectly fine.- Irstz replied in an almost chatty tone. -Jenny is quite excited to see you again as are the younger children that haven't had a lot of opportunity to meet dignitaries of other clans yet. We'll have to try to time our arrival so they'll be busy with their lessons ... or would you enjoy having them bounce about you right after the trip? I'm told some people find it quite refreshing.-

-I ... What trip? I can't actually get very far on these yet.- Jesse explained nodding towards his crutches.

-Don't worry, we'll take it slow. I'm under no time pressure this time and we'll have a car meet us at the spaceport.-

-You mean to take me to Rukkat?- Jesse concluded mentally reviewing all Irstz had said.

-Why of course. I did promise we'd step in if you needed us to.-

-Quietly.- Jesse reminded him. -This won't go unnoticed, though. Ramszet and Gaspar will notice if I just disappear. I'll have to give them an explanation.-

-That won't be a problem. You are going to Rukkat to prepare Jean Claudesz birthday ceremony, of course. It has just been decided that it will be held there rather than here ... to ensure that his relatives can attend, but of course he'll want you there as well, so we have agreed to house you for the duration. It will take you off Mokusz hands as well so it's an all around satisfactory solution.-

As it turned out it didn't satisfy Ramszet one bit, though only because he himself wasn't included in the invitation, Irstz pointing out quite harshly that there was no reason Jean Claude should want to see him on his birthday.

Gaspar, too, seemed quite disappointed, though he didn't protest.

-I'd hoped that it'd be held here.- He explained. -I really wanted to be there, but under the circumstances I'm not sure I'll be able to leave my post long enough. ... You will take my hair, though, won't you?-

-Why of course.- Jesse assured him glad Razzle had explained the custom. -Though I won't be the one that makes the band. I'll pass it on to whoever does for you.-

-Why not?- Gaspar asked looking quite surprised. -It really ought to be you.-

-I've never done it before.- Jesse explained. -All I've ever woven is a single death-wreath and Razzle did all the tricky parts for me then. I'd probably make quite a mess of it and a birthday bracelet ought to look good, shouldn't it?-

-Well ... yes.- Gaspar admitted. - But I still think it ought to be you. Jean Claude will want it to be you. Maybe you can get Razzle to help again?-

-Razzle won't be able to leave Arthame any more than you can leave here.- Jesse reminded him. -I'll see whom else I can find, though.-

That seemed to satisfy Gaspar at least.

Hobbling from the med bay to the hangar was a slow and laborious process despite Ramszet being there to lean on and cling to every step of the way.

-You weren't kidding about not being ready for the trip.- Irstz commented once he'd finally settled Jesse in the most comfortable chair on the Elhessar spaceship. -That foot is giving you a lot more trouble than I expected.-

-I think much of it is due to the crutches.- Jesse assured him. -I've never had to use them before this morning either and would have needed more time to learn the technique. Maybe we should have brought Ramszet after all ... just to help me to the car when we reach Rukkat. He could have gone home to his own clan from there.-

-They'll find better use for him on the front.- Irstz declared. -I'll tell them to send a strong driver when I call for the car to fetch us, though you still aren't that big. I could probably carry you myself if I had to.-

-Which would cost me the chance to actually practise using my foot.- Jesse reminded him. -Which is the whole purpose of those crutches.-

-True.- Irstz agreed. -We can take the time.-

There seemed to be an unusual amount of radio messages coming in all through the flight, but it wasn't until they actually reached the Sarei system that the pilot stopped the ship and reported to Irstz.

-Sir, the planet is in alarm status. All lines are to be kept clear for emergency start of military vessels. I don't think I'll be able to get landing clearance.-

Irstz hissed with dismay and went over to join the pilot at the controls.

-Whatever is going on?- He demanded. -We are well behind the spaceborder here. What can be threatening the planet?-

-As far as I know nothing's gotten through yet, but the spaceborder has been under vehement attack for most of the day.- The pilot explained. -We had to take several detours to remain out of the danger zone. Apparently the rebels are throwing everything they have at the border.-

-Which means they intend to attack either Rukkat or the Warworld.- Jesse stated. -Just as Nemesis predicted. Ettar's stopped playing a defensive game and is going all out on the offensive.-

-We'd better not get caught hanging around out here when they break through.- Irstz decided. -This is no heavy cruiser that can take a mass attack. We need to land.-

-Then we'll have to return to the Warworld.- The pilot stated.

-Which will be just as much on alert as Rukkat.- Jesse shot that idea down. -We'd be in the same situation as we are now, except that by the time we get back there the space border may well already have been breached.- He hoped that it wouldn't be. Point was a tough fellow and knew how to use his troops' speed to best advantage, but if Ettar was really throwing everything at him they might well be overpowered by the sheer mass of his larger ships. He ought to have at least three heavy battle cruisers at his command and those were very hard to stop. -We could try Arthame, though. That's not likely to be their target and doesn't have a lot of military ships in port. We're not likely to get in the way of launching anything there at least.-

-We also have absolutely no business on Arthame.- Irstz returned. -And it's a rather long trip. We're landing here as planned. Get me Istar on the line now.-

That was easier ordered than done. The pilot did his very best, but got no higher than a troop leader in a very bad mood. Jesse could hear him yell all the way from his chair, though he couldn't make out the exact insults until Irstz yanked the microphone out of the pilot's hand and yelled back.

This was quite impressive. Irstz was the most mild-mannered of the three brothers that led Elhessar house and Jesse had had no idea that he could raise his voice to such a volume or knew that many insults. He didn't contribute anything new to Jesse's vocabulary, though, nor were the insults anywhere near as creative as what Jesse was used to hearing from Razzle. Outrider with all its hissing sounds was an excellent language to curse in and most of the Outriders Jesse knew made frequent use of that fact.

The troop leader, too, seemed impressed. He gave in and passed Irstz on to his grumpy wing leader who waited only long enough to hear whom he was talking to before passing him on to a Subcommander.

The Subcommander merely yelped and then Istar entered the conversation with a roar.

-I need fucking landing clearance now!- Irstz roared back. -Before we actually get into a situation where you can't afford to let us land!-

There must have been an answer, but it was inaudible again.

-Akknowledged.- Irstz said and closed the line. -Go down on the side lane and roll right on through.- He told the pilot, then turned to Jesse. -I'm afraid it'll be a little further to walk, but we can still take it slow and you'll get a look at our new hangar. It's a little empty right now, but entirely clan property.-

Jesse could only hope it'd survive if Ettar chose to bombard the spaceport. It'd be a pity if the Elhessare lost a newly constructed building this soon ... But everything on Rukkat was newly constructed and none of the clans here could well afford having to start over.

-Let's hope they go at the Warworld instead.- He decided. -Gaspar could use a good fight and they have very little chance to break through those defences.-

-If they plan to.- Irstz said. -They're bringing enough firepower to do it with.-

It wasn't a pretty thought, but an obvious one. Ettar clearly was no fool and he had to know the Warworld well ... which made Rukkat the more likely target. Jesse insisted on carrying his blaster as they left the ship.

-You won't be able to draw or fire it without dropping a crutch.- Irstz pointed out.

-I know.- Jesse replied. -But I won't be able to run away and hide either. If we are attacked I'll have to make a stand.-

The hangar was indeed large and empty, but so bright that it didn't create the melancholy or sometimes eerie feeling Jesse associated with the Warworld's hangars. This was a happy place full of promise.

Of course it was quite a task to walk all the way to the door and Jesse wasn't really comfortable leaning on Irstz or the pilot. The first was much too dangerous and the other a complete stranger. Still they made it in the end and found Jesse a convenient bench to rest on while Irstz went to call home for the car.

Nice and sunny was how Razzle had described Rukkat and the description certainly fit, but Jesse's dominant impression was yellow. Not that everything ... or all that much of it was actually that colour, not the way that Varen was blue due to its blue vegetation and Arthame red due to its red trees. The plants here were green, but a much more yellowish green than Jesse was used to from Yuma. The stone most of the buildings seemed to be made of was a sandy colour, just a little more yellow than white and the sunlight had a yellowish tinge to it as well.

-It does seem to be a pretty world.- He commented to Irstz when he returned.

-Quite.- Irstz agreed. -Quite a contrast from the Warworld. Are you ready to walk on? It would be most practical if we make it to the gate before the car arrives.-

Jesse hieved himself back onto his crutches.

-Which way?- He couldn't see the gate from here.

-The one I just came. I even scouted out the next bench for you.-

-Is that your speciality, scouting?- Jesse inquired mostly to make conversation.

It also might be useful to find out more about Irstz's background. One never knew when such information might come in handy.

-Not quite.- Irstz replied easily enough. -My actual speciality was programming, but I served with spy units much like Jean Claudesz old command a lot and they often thought that my hand-to-hand skills predestined me to scout where no direct contact with the natives was to be expected.-

-Who were you supposed to go hand-to-hand with then?- Jesse asked now honestly interested.

-The local wildlife. We'd usually land quite far from actually inhabited territory, sometimes not even knowing what sort of animals lived there. It was quite exciting.-

-So Jean Claude and Jenny didn't fall that far from the tree after all.- Jesse remarked.

-If you promise not to tell Istar I'm quite willing to admit that Jean Claudesz career choice and Jennysz interests are most likely my fault. My brother ... is a very busy man being both weapons master and an Academy instructor. He found very little time to spend with his children outside of their training and while teaching children how to fight is quite important for their future success inspiring their interest with exciting tales is also vital.- Irstz explained. -Istar didn't make time for that and I suspect that had much to do with Jenszsz choice of profession. I was still serving myself during her childhood, of course, and rarely home, but when I saw how she had turned out and how much it worried my brothers I decided to take Istarsz younger children under my wing in that respect. They were more than happy to listen to my tales and personally I think both Jean Claude and Jatt have turned out favourably, but I did tell more of spies and aliens than of combat.-

-Does Jatt have a special love of animals as well, or is it just Cats-of-War?- Jesse inquired mildly interested.

-Ah yes, that incident.- Irstz said clearly uncomfortable with this turn of the conversation. -I haven't had a chance to talk to him about it, yet, so I really don't know what to make of it. It seems quite out of character to me.-

-It was his very first time under fire.- Jesse allowed. -I should not have put him in a position of command for it. I just ... Well, I need to figure out what to do with him. I do want to help his career along, but I'm not sure what would have been the right way to do it.-

-What's done is done.- Irstz replied apparently not too worried. -We'll blame this on him not having completed his training yet and send him back to school as soon as possible. By the time he graduates the trouble may have blown over. If not we will discuss what you can do about it then. Between you and his brother he should not need to suffer much ill effect for his career, but his starting position will require some thought.-

-I don't think I'll hire a Subcommander right out of the Academy again.- Jesse stated. -They should have some practical experience. I'd be quite happy to take one that's already served under Jean Claude, though.-

-Training the young is a learning experience as well.- Irstz commented. -I can give you little guidance in that, however. You might do better turning to either of my brothers for it, though ...-

-Istar is not an example I would be well advised to follow.- Jesse guessed when it became clear that Irstz would not complete the sentence. -Nemesis already pointed that out to me, though on more general lines. He thought you a more suitable teacher, though.-

-His Nastiness compliments me.- Irstz replied rather hastily. -But I have had little to do with the training of young officers. My talents lie elsewhere.-

-Quite so.- Jesse allowed. -But they are quite remarkable talents nevertheless. I will seek training advice elsewhere, though.-

But where? Afrar Irozz might have an interest in teaching him how best to further the young Elhessare's careers, but on the other hand he'd have to be aware that Jesse would also apply that knowledge to the children of his own clan and quite possibly others. Would he be willing to share?

Gaspar had already given him some unintended hints and Razzle and Lutaz had been quite clear on the subject after the Cat-of-War disaster, but could he ask them for further advice? Jean Claude, his old culture guide and language teacher, was out of the picture this time. He was less experienced than Jesse himself in this area. 


	20. Chapter 19: Nice and Sunny

Disclaimer 1: This is fanfic. That means I do not own any of it. I just borrow it to play with for a little while and let people see the pathetic results if they really want to.

Disclaimer 2: I'm not making any money from it. It's just for fun.

Disclaimer 3: What isn't borrowed is all made up. None of this is real or most likely at all realistic. Please don't trust any of the information in here. Most likely you know more about whatever I'm writing about than I do.

Disclaimer 4: Attitudes, views and opinions expressed by the characters or in the story are not necessarily those of the author. Even when writing Science Fiction or Fantasy I do not tend to attempt to create perfect/better worlds in which everybody gets a happy end ... or whatever is best for them. Please accept that some characters will have a bad ending or be unhappy.

Disclaimer 5: I intend no insult to anyone. If I offend anyone I'm very sorry. Please understand that it was an accident as I tend to be very clumsy in these things.

Chapter 19: Nice and Sunny

They didn't make it to the gate before the car, but despite their slow progress everything remained peaceful and quiet. There was nobody about except for themselves and the guards at the gate who confirmed that no increased alarm had been given yet.

-Looks like the spaceline will hold.- Irstz commented.

-And yet that is most unlikely if what we've been told is true.- Jesse returned. -Point is good, but he shouldn't be able to withstand a concentrated attack including several battle cruisers indefinitely. He just doesn't have the heavy guns to do it.-

-He will have received reinforcements by now.- Irstz pointed out. -The attack on Szurat will have been recalled. I don't know who besides Jean Claude is on that, but they won't want Ettar to get between them and the Warworld, so they will have fallen back and joined forces with Point.-

-Does Jean Claude have battle cruisers?- Jesse asked him. -If not the troops sent against Venthe will be of much more consequence and they'd be less exposed. They might well continue their original mission even if the space border shifts quite a bit.-

-I didn't know we were attacking Venthe.- Irstz admitted. -I was only aware of Szurat.-

-We probably still are. I got that from Gaspar who'd have been in all the strategy meetings. According to him we are very serious about taking Venthe, so I doubt they'll abandon that easily.-

Was it possible that the line had already been breached, but the attack was on the Warworld after all, so Rukkat hadn't been put on high alert?

The sun was shining brightly on the construction sites on both sides of the road. A gentle breeze was blowing tiny slightly yellowish clouds over a bright blue sky, but there was nobody about. They met only two other cars on their way.

-Is it always this quiet here?- Jesse asked.

He judged it possible. After all Rukkat was still being settled. While most of the Warworld's awake civilian population had been relocated here the larger part of the settlers intended for Rukkat was still in the vapour chambers and all the military personnel was on alert or offworld serving on other planets right now.

-Not usually, no.- Irstz replied. -Though it is much more quiet than we're used to from the Warworld. Usually there'd be construction work going on and children playing outside at this time of the day, but what with the alert everybody is probably staying in the basements just in case.-

-Are those proper bomb shelters?-

Irstz shrugged. -Ours is. That's no guarantee in a battle cruiser attack of course, but anything is better protection than just standing outside without even battle armour.-

-It's not far now.- The driver assured them. -We're almost there.-

-Your holdings actually include the spaceport then?- Jesse asked quite surprised.

-Oh no, the capital is on Mithgath territory, of course.- Irstz explained. -But the first thing we built was our town house here. The actual clan-hold on our own land is still under construction and will be for quite some time. I'd suggest a tour tomorrow, if there's no further alert, but I think we'd better wait until you are a bit more mobile.-

-There isn't anybody living out there, yet, then?-

-Mostly common servants working on the construction.- Irstz replied. -Your cats are out there as well, though. The mother might not be mobile, but we don't want the kittens cooped up in the city if we can help it. They may be tiny now, but they'll need room to run soon enough.-

-They're already born?- Jesse hadn't expected that.

-Almost two weeks ago.- Irstz confirmed. -I have some pictures at home, but didn't think to bring them as I expected to be able to take you to see them in person. And we will arrange for a personal visit. We owe them to you, after all. It will just have to wait a few days.-

And perhaps not all that long after all. Jesse certainly felt that he was getting the hang of the technique as he walked up to the door of the large, but not so very high, yellowish town-house. He even managed the steps with only a little help from the pilot. Maybe if he weren't so tired from all the walking he'd done today he'd even have liked to have a look around the house.

As it was however he was very grateful to Irstz when he suggested going straight to the basement dorm to rest.

-I'll explain your condition to Afrar Irozz and try to keep him away for as long as I can, but expect him to come to you since you cannot come to him.-

Quite exhausted from the journey Jesse lay down on the first bed by the door and closed his eyes for a bit. He wasn't actually sleepy, though, and soon opened them again to look around the room.

It was the largest dorm he had ever seen, beds stuffed into it at even narrower distances than he remembered from the old Elhessar dorms on the Warworld, but despite being underground the room appeared lighter, though less personal.

Once he thought about it it wasn't all that surprising. This wasn't an actual, private dorm. It was part of the shelter, allowing the inhabitants to sleep here should the alarm continue into the night. Their real dorms would be upstairs.

Or would some of them be sleeping here until the clan-hold was ready to receive them? There were no personal items in evidence, but Jesse thought that it would be a good solution for common clan members if beds upstairs were in short supply.

Had he taken somebody else's bed then? He'd have to ask. A commoner might not dare state his claim to a noble born Commander that he barely knew.

Would he be expected to sleep here permanently, though? He'd never spent a night with the Elhessare before and wasn't entirely sure what the customs for private guests were.

Considering the Outrider need for company he doubted that there'd be a separate guest dorm as they existed in the military base on the Warworld. Not unless guests usually arrived in groups. It would certainly not be considered proper to give a guest a room to himself.

Was it any more decent to put a noble guest in a commoners' dorm, though? Probably not.

At the Arthez clan-hold Jesse had been given a bed in a boys' dorm based on his age without the slightest problem, but then he had been a permanent addition to the clan.

There had been a lot of room in all the dorms he had seen there, though. Clearly it would not have been a problem to add another bed to any of them at any time. Under normal conditions he'd expect a similar situation in the Elhessar town-house, so most likely one of the beds here would be carried upstairs and put in whatever dorm was deemed the most appropriate for him.

But a town-house was not usually meant to house the entire clan. Would there be room here?

Considering his nightmares sleeping alone would actually be the best solution anyway, so perhaps he should suggest that to the Elhesare? He could phrase it as a polite wish not to disturb anyone's sleep to spare them embarrassment over their cramped circumstances ... as long as he could be sure that there was a room that could be set aside for his use at all.

Was this dorm in permanent use or not? It still didn't look to be, but logically it ought to.

The door swished open and Jesse rolled over to see who'd arrived.

Ah yes, of course.

-Afrar Irozz.- Jesse greeted sitting up.

-Stay. I do not mean to disturb your rest.-

-I'm fine sitting. It is mostly my arms and legs that need rest. They aren't accustomed to the crutches yet.-

Irozz blinked at the word accustomed, but didn't ask. It was another one he'd picked up from Razzle, Jesse remembered too late.

-We owe you a better welcome than this.- The head of house Elhessar said. -But I do not know what the exact situation is and I don't want to risk your life if we are attacked.-

Jesse nodded.

-I am quite aware of the circumstances.- He assured Irozz. -And I am the one that owes you even if what I did was very much not what I intended.-

-No.- Said Irozz. -We owe you more than we can ever repay. ... I suppose the boys told you we intended to breed cats again as soon as we had a new home, but the truth is that without your gift we would not have been able to afford to buy a cat within my lifetime. You have given us back our emblem.-

-And that is worth the lives of several of your children?- Jesse demanded with a touch of anger. -I'm glad you like the cat and that her kittens will have a good home, but I cannot forgive myself that easily and I don't want you to do it either.-

-Accidents will happen in war and living on a military base as we did we had to live with that danger and its consequences. But if you insist on owing us further favours, I will be the last person to refuse them.- Irozz decided.

-Perhaps that was unwise of me.- Jesse allowed. -But do continue to consider me an ally. I didn't give that cat to Jean Claude because I feel in your debt.-

-Understood. But you in turn must understand that we bear you no ill will.- The last bit came out sounding slightly odd.

-Do I sound awfully old-fashioned to you? I seem to have been spending too much time with Razzle lately and picking up his vocabulary.-

-Ah yes, he has command of the Arthame mission, doesn't he?- Irozz said clearly interested. -But if you are comfortable sitting, why don't you come over into the basement hall and tell us of your latest adventures. It will be less lonely there.-

Jesse retrieved his crutches and pushed himself to the edge of the bed.

-Gladly, but I do not suffer from loneliness as other Outriders do.- He explained. -Fleshlings actually enjoy spending time by themselves from time to time. I'm as likely to get overwhelmed by too much company as suffer from loneliness.-

-You do feel the Fleshling blood after all, then?- Irozz wasn't able to hide his disgust completely.

Jesse shrugged.

-Rarely.- He claimed hoping to alleviate the feeling. -Apparently it has some small advantages, though, such as decreasing the risk of suffering from loneliness and susceptibility to poison.-

-Poison?-

-Yes, apparently that species has a very high tolerance for most poisons. But as I remember you don't take much interest in exobiology and I promised to tell you of the latest events on Arhame.-

The basement hall turned out to be quite comfortable for a shelter, though a little crowded right now. When Jesse limped in it caused a momentary silence and then a rush of children towards the door.

They really were excited rather than angry to see him!

Jenny even hugged him earning a slap and stern rebuke from Irozz since apparently she was old enough to know better than to bounce upon wounded people who were unsteady on their feet.

-It's fine.- Jesse interceded. -I seem to be stable enough in this position.-

This earned him yet another hug from Jenny who seemed not at all daunted by the hand-print on her cheek.

-You've been to other worlds again, haven't you?- She inquired. -Were there lots of alien creatures? Will you tell us all about them?-

-I've been to Ishara and Arthame.- Jesse told her. -Both are Outrider colonies, so not that exciting, but ...-

-Oh, but they are exciting!- A boy called Shent insisted. -We've never been there. Oh please, do tell!-

-Later!- Afrar Irozz thundered. -Right now our wounded guest wants to sit and rest and be greeted by the adults.-

Jesse would have been perfectly happy sitting and resting and telling tales to the children, but then it was also very important to maintain the dignity of the adult that he technically still wasn't.

-I'll make time after your lessons tomorrow.- He promised the children therefore. -And tell you of the recent fighting on Arthame. That's much more exciting than the wildlife.-

-Good choice.- Irozz hissed to him softly as they proceeded to the table in the corner where the main dignitaries of the clan were gathered. -It does not do Jenny good to hear too much talk of alien animals ... especially Fleshlings.-

-As I am very much aware.- Jesse agreed. -I'm not likely to get around it entirely, I fear, but the most exciting recent experience I had was the one with your cat. Would you mind very much if I tell the children of Jattsz part in that?-

Irozz snorted.

-He deserves the ridicule for that.- He declared. -Hopefully it will teach him better.-

-Not necessarily. The mistake was mine.- Jesse admitted. -I should not have placed him in a position he isn't qualified for yet. I am too unaware what a student of his age can be expected to do.-

-Ah yes, your Fleshling training was much more concentrated, wasn't it?- Irozz inquired with what appeared to be actual interest as he sat down.

Jesse accepted the chair Thert, the clan's head doctor, vacated for him as if he'd been expecting it as a matter of course. The man was older than he was, but as a mere scientist had very little standing here and if Jesse wanted to be treated like an adult Commander and not a mere boy he couldn't act too humble. Besides he did have an injured foot.

-Very much so, but it ensured no qualifications past those of a common soldier. There are a few specialisation options such as engineering, but it isn't required and usually means you won't be used on the front lines. Officers aren't trained at the Academy, but rise from common soldiers at a much later time. They have field experience enough not to make childish mistakes by then.-

-You went straight to command, though.- Maktez, the as far as Jesse could judge oldest noble clan member prompted. -And without childish mistakes despite actually being a child at the time.

Jesse laughed.

-Not so.- He admitted. -You never heard of my first attempts, because they were small-scale pirate type operations. I made several blunders before I managed to do anything big enough to be noticed by Outriders. I should have kept that in mind when hiring Jatt.-

-You earned Istarsz gratitude by it if nothing else.- Irstz commented.

-Did I? I thought he would have preferred to train his son himself, and probably would have made a better job of it. He certainly must have more experience breaking in young officers and know where best to start them.-

-He meant to have Jatt for his secretary.- Irozz revealed. -Which is a good place to keep the inexperienced out of mischief, but also doesn't leave much room to prove oneself. Secretaries tend to remain unnoticed. You gave Jatt a chance to draw the attention of other Commanders.-

-And he blew it.- Maktez stated with a cackle. -Istarsz brood are a litter of blundering batzhe. I told Afrar Sorar he shouldn't make that one weapons master, but would he listen?-

-Istar is the best fighter as far as I can tell.- Jesse interceded hastily. -I've never seen a better anywhere. And there is nothing really wrong with his children. Jatt and Jenny are merely young and incompletely trained. Jensz chose to focus on another talent, but what of it? She had every reason to expect that her brothers would be the ones chosen to fulfil the duties of her lineage and her work is quite useful. As for Jean Claude, I don't see what you find to criticise about him.-

-Don't you?- Irozz asked.

-Then it is only for the best.- Irstz interrupted sharply. -It is nothing much to worry about and certainly can't affect his military performance, but the less it's talked about the better.-

-Then why is it a problem whatever it is?- Jesse asked trying not to let his concern show too much.

What the hell could be wrong with Jean Claude? From all Jesse knew his career was finally taking the turn the Elhessare had desired from the start and they ought to be all around pleased with him, especially considering Jatt's recent blunder.

-Because it disqualifies him as a candidate for the position of weapons master.- Irozz stated. -Jensz has already disqualified herself by her choice of profession ... though you may be right that we can't blame her for not foreseeing that she might become a serious candidate. Jean Claudesz flaw wasn't known yet at the time. Both she and Jenny are already disqualified from becoming Afrar due to their gender ... and now Jatt has demonstrated a softness that isn't desirable in either position. If he doesn't outgrow it, I will have no choice but to pray that Jenny will turn out fit to be weapons master and her interests aren't promising so far.-

-And that would force her to marry within the clan.- Jesse remembered Razzle explaining at some point. -Which might not be the most desirable match. Is there no precedent for the weapons master or Afrar being chosen from another line, though? A nephew rather than son? His father would have been a perfectly good candidate for the position himself at some point after all. Surely not all weapons masters of the past managed to produce two sons that survived to succeed?-

-Daughters as weapons masters are more common in our history.- Irstz supplied. -And there has been one occasion where a weapons master had died very young leaving only one son. He was succeeded by a younger brother who produced three fine sons, but was nevertheless succeeded by his predecessor's son. ... Mind you, the boy was his son by adoption and one of his other three sons did become Afrar.-

-But would there be suitable candidates among Istarsz brother-sons?- Jesse asked then wondered whether he might not have gone too far. Had he any right to ask the brothers to give him a possibly negative appraisal of their own children? On the other hand, wasn't he honouring them by assuming that their children were worthy?

-Taiden would have been my candidate.- Maktez stated. -That one would have been perfect.-

Jesse flinched. One of the boys that he'd killed. Had he been Irozz's or Irstz's son then?

-For weapons master, perhaps.- Irstz said, voice suddenly gone rough. -But he'd have made a bad Afrar. Too single-minded and inflexible. Taret, like Jenny, is too young to tell. And he would have to be more than just suitable to convince Istar of such an unusual move. Which leaves us with Nevar.-

That name came as an even bigger surprise to Jesse than Taiden had. He'd never heard it before and that despite all his visits to Elhessar house and long friendship with Jean Claude. Was it possible that Jean Claude had never mentioned such a close relative?

-Who's he?- Jesse asked. -I don't remember ever meeting anyone by that name.-

-My only son.- Irozz revealed. -He's serving under Istar now, but spent most of his career under Mohawk. I suppose you never had much to do with his troops?-

-Very rarely. They were in the Fleshling war when I had command there, but I'd usually just coordinate with Brunhilda and she'd point Mohawk at his target when the time was right. Direct communication between us never worked that well.-

Maktez cackled again.

-That is not surprising if you used words you learned from Razzle.- Irozz explained. -You need to keep it slow and simple with Mohawk.-

-I don't think I knew that many of those at the time.- Jesse said. -But perhaps the words I knew were the wrong ones. I got most of my original vocabulary from Jean Claude and Gattler.-

-Above Mohawksz head if you used it as they do.- Irozz agreed.

-We need to place Nevar elsewhere if he is to be a candidate for succession.- Irstz steered them back to the original topic. -Istar might qualify him as weapons master, but he will retire again as soon as this crisis is over and a candidate for Afrar needs some experience in political manoeuvring. He will not get that serving with a member of his own clan or with someone as straightforward as Mohawk.-

-Would you like me to take him?- Jesse offered. -I could well use an experienced Subcommander with a brain. Ramszet is fine within his means, but I expect Jatt to go back to school at the same time Istar retires and I'm not eager to take Kerost back. Azpet can't continue to act as Subcommander indefinitely and Urak can't fill two positions.-

Irstz regarded him thoughtfully.

-It is an option if nothing else offers.- He said finally. -But you are too close to being of the clan for my taste. It would be best for him to have someone of an actual rival clan to cope with.-

-Razzle, you mean.- Irozz stated.

-Point, Orat or Gaspar might do as well.- Irstz amended. -But yes, Razzle would be ideal. I see little chance of getting one of our own in there, though. Razzle can take his pick and rarely has openings at the top level.-

-Gaspar's trading for more experienced officers.- Jesse told them.

They looked at him in obvious surprise.

-He made me an offer for Ramszet.- He explained. -Said he'd rather have stupid than hot-headed.-

-And gave you what?- Irstz asked clearly interested.

-Nothing. Ramszet's not up for trade.- Jesse declared deciding not to explain his further dealings with Gaspar to any outsiders. -He's loyal to me personally and that's worth quite a lot.-

-He's no second in command from what Istar has told me.- Irozz pointed out.

-No, but neither is an inexperienced hot-head. I might as well use Jatt if I went for that trade. Urak used to be my second before the rebellion and I'm hoping to get him back. If I don't ... well, Nevar might be just what I need, but I can find another.-

-There is another point to consider if you choose Nevar, Afrar.- Irstz said suddenly. -Istar will not like you promoting your own son over his.-

-Which means I will have to give him my reasons for passing over whichever I do not promote at all.- Irozz mused. -Not a comfortable position for the boy, but he will have to take it.-

Thanks to this detour into clan politics Jesse had only just started telling about the events on Arthame when the door swished open again and Istar walked in wanting to know what everybody was doing down here when the alarm was over.

-I suspect.- Jesse said with a sneer. -Somebody forgot to give the all clear sign.-

Istar grumbled and sent his secretary to call Brunhilda and ask her to take care of the formality.

-So what happened?- Jesse asked him when the dignitaries made no move to follow the lesser clan members out the door. -Were Ettarsz forces weaker than reported or did Pointsz line hold against all odds?-

-Neither.- Istar said pulling up one of the abandoned chairs and joining them. -The line broke about two hours ago, up near the Hekzel system. Seeing as they were all the way up there they went for the Warworld instead of us. I don't have any details, but apparently Gattlersz battle cruiser bought it pretty quickly and the rebels withdrew after that.-

-They gave up after losing only one cruiser?- Jesse asked incredulously.

Sure the battle cruisers were the heavy hitters in spacefights and under any other circumstances that would be a major loss. In an attack on a planet sized fortress however such things had to be expected and one couldn't possibly succeed if one gave up that easily. Or had Ettar expected a traitor on the Warworld to duplicate Jesse's manipulation of the central computer? If so, it had been rather foolish of him not to expect Nemesis to have installed some additional safety measures to prevent a repetition of that mistake.

-Gattler didn't make it off the ship.- Irozz stated with certainty.

-How do you know?- Jesse asked him.

-By the fact that the rebels withdrew so easily.- Irstz explained. -Unless the battle was going much worse for them than the report lets us assume the death of a Commander is the only reasonable explanation for their retreat. They've gone to mourn and rearrange their forces. Then they'll be back.-

-It buys us a nice respite.- Irozz said. -We'll have a feast in honour of Gaspar and Orat tonight.-

-And what about Point?- Jesse asked slightly annoyed that Orat of all people should be honoured when it was most likely Gaspar's heavy guns that had brought down the cruiser and Point had had hours of desperate fighting.

-He lost.- Istar pointed out.

-He had an impossible task.- Jesse returned. -And it sounds as if he acquitted himself very well.-

-A... what?- Istar asked.

-Commander Jesse has been spending a little too much time with Razzle.- Irozz explained.

-It means he did better than could have been expected.- Irstz translated. -You might want to remember it. It should look very good in student performance reports.-

Istar snorted.

-That's useless if nobody knows what it means.- He declared.

-I know.- Jesse pointed out. -Irstz knows. Razzle knows. That's hardly nobody.-

-Fine.- Istar promised. -I'll put it in your firstborn's report if I ever teach him.-

-Or her.- Jesse amended remembering tiny little Una and the cute little noises she'd made. -Though I don't suppose you mean to continue teaching that long. ... Not that I think you need to retire yet, but I don't plan on marrying anytime soon. Add time to have the kid and for it to grow old enough to start the Academy.-

-Where I teach mostly the higher years, yes.- Istar agreed peacefully enough.

-Perhaps Razzlesz replacement child.- Irstz suggested.

-I refuse to write anything nice about any whelp of Razzlesz!- Istar thundered.

-Replacement child?- Jesse asked slightly confused. -I thought Kiervie was his youngest and she'd have graduated soon, wouldn't she?- Or was this an alternative word for foster child?

-Would she?- Irstz asked. -I don't remember her exact age, but yes, her brothers both graduated years ago. Those of us who lost children in the ... unfortunate mishap a year ago received very nice letters from the reproduction council granting us permission to have another child to replace the one killed, though. So we can expect the birth of Razzlesz fourth child sometime this year.-

-I didn't know about that.- Jesse admitted. -It does make sense ... though it can't really replace what you've lost, can it?-

Irstz closed his eyes for a moment.

-No.- He admitted. -But it will be good to hold the little tyke. It is a wonderful feeling to pick up your child for the very first time. Nothing else compares to it.-

Jesse thought of Una again. Gattler had never held her and now he never would.

Gattler had been so interested in the twins when Marze had shown them the pictures of Jesse's siblings. Had there been twin girls among the children he'd lost to the disease? Why hadn't he thought to ask that when he'd been on Arthame? Could he still do it when he returned? It might be painful to the Uthene to be reminded of Gattler now.

They'd only just lost Cirke and now Gattler. And the life of every clan member was so precious to them.

-You don't know where there was damage on the Warworld, do you?- He asked Istar. -In today's fighting I mean.-

-No, they didn't say.- Istar replied somewhat perplexed. -It can't have been anything of military significance, though or they wouldn't have ended the alarm so readily.-

-I just thought ... Razzlesz wife is still on the Warworld. She's got Gattlersz daughter with her, too.- Jesse explained.

-But ... why would they leave her there?- Irozz asked sounding as perplexed as Istar. -And what the hell is Gattlersz daughter doing there of all places?-

-I didn't know Gattler had a daughter.- Irstz commented.

So Nemesis had taken a hostage and not put the news about?

-She's supposed to be a hostage and Nemesis wanted her kept on the Warworld rather than here, so of course someone had to stay to care for her.- Jesse explained. -It seemed so safe at the time.-

-Nowhere is really safe in a civil war.- Irstz stated. -But the Warworld must be safer than Arthame. It has the strongest defences in the empire. And they have shelters there same as here. Most likely no civilians were killed at all.-

Jesse nodded, but Gattler was dead. He'd worked very closely with Gattler several times during the Fleshling war. Gattler had been the first person to help Jean Claude with his Outrider lessons.

Jesse had driven Gattler's car into the perimeter fence once and Gattler had hardly minded.

He'd always checked his training injuries so carefully.

And he'd amputated his foot remarkably well. So well that Moku had even remarked on it.

He could have run instead. He should have run.

Of course he'd still be dead now, but still ...

He'd taken all those insults from Razzle and still loved and admired him.

How would Razzle take the news of his companion's death? He'd been unable to kill him on Arthame.

Hadn't Razzle once said killing other Outriders was what his nightmares were about? He hadn't killed Gattler, of course, but would he dream that he had now?

He remembered Gattler's swords flashing as he practised his art in the gym.

-You've gone awfully quiet all of a sudden.- Maktez prompted him suddenly.

-Just pondering the consequences of Gattlersz death.- Jesse told him almost truthfully.

-That hostage's value certainly increases by it.- Maktez remarked to his surprise.

-Quite the contrary, actually.- Irstz corrected. -Her Afrarsz death may make her more valuable to her clan, but by his death the clan loses all remaining political importance. Gattler was their only officer of note, Afrar Sesta is a political lightweight and their economic power has been broken by the occupation. All Uthen can do now is sit and wait for the end of the war. If we win, they're at Nemesisz mercy and he'll make sure to hobble them for the foreseeable future. If the rebels win, they can only hope that Ettar will recognise their contribution to his cause and reward them with a powerful position in his new council. Ettar is under no obligation, though, and will have many more influential clans that he wants to bind to himself. The child will probably be returned to her clan as soon as Nemesis can be bothered to deal with such insignificant matters.-

-Which isn't likely to be anytime soon.- Jesse stated remembering that he ought not to tell the Elhessare about the medical situation on Arthame. Let them assume Nemesis was too busy with the war rather than that the Uthene didn't want Una to return to her home-world until she had received all her vaccinations. - But the child ought to be well cared for where she is. I just don't like the thought of her being under fire.-

-I don't see why she should be any more at risk of that on the Warworld than she would be on Arthame.- Irstz assured him again. -She'll be safe enough.-

They went upstairs soon after that and Jesse learned much to his surprise that he was expected to share the brothers' own dorm ... as apparently did Jean Claude when he was here.

-We have the room for that now.- Irstz explained. -On the Warworld we had to put people wherever there was an empty bed never mind what was due to their rank, but now we can redistribute beds as needed.-

-I didn't expect you'd be able to, yet.- Jesse admitted. -I thought only the clan-hold would be built large enough to house the entire clan and guests.-

-You forget that many of our commoners are still in the vapour chambers while quite a number of the soldiers are serving on other worlds right now.- Irozz explained. -The town-house was built to house all active clan members until the clan-hold is ready to receive them and we were expecting more commoners to arrive during this time period as well. One guest is not a problem anymore.-

Jesse nodded.

-You might change your mind about that, though.- He had to warn them. -I suppose you have heard of my nightmares?-

Istar snorted derisively.

The others apparently had not.

-I've had them every night for about a year.- Jesse explained. -So I'm sure to disturb your sleep every night. Razzle made the dorm put up with it, but I imagine you might well need all the rest you can get if we are going to be attacked. So perhaps it might be wiser for me not to share a dorm with any of your active soldiers. I'm capable of sleeping alone if I have to.-

Istar frowned, but Irozz gave him no chance to reply.

-No.- He stated sharply. -It would not be proper unless you actually were to require medical treatment. Your place is with us. Anything else would be seen as an insult.-

-Well, don't say I didn't warn you.-

-Istar will probably have to sleep at the base if we are threatened during the night anyway.- Irstz stated. -It will not be a problem.-

The dorm was light and almost as large as the one Jesse was used to on the Warworld, though it held fewer beds. Clearly the Elhessare had built larger than they had to.

-You really do have room to spare here.- Jesse remarked. -I don't think I've seen a dorm with this much distance between beds outside of the Uthene clanhold ... and that was clearly built for a more numerous clan than inhabits it now.-

-We expect to grow quite a lot.- Irstz revealed after a moment of hesitation. -There are superfluous commoners of several generations stashed away in the vapour chambers which will now be released all at once and we also foresee an end to the reproductive restrictions in the near future. Many more of our clan members would be having children if they were allowed to so we should see an abnormally high number of births over the first five to ten years after the lifting of the restrictions. The number of clan members will probably rise significantly for these two generations and only go back to normal with our grandchildren and their descendants.-

-Not so.- Jesse stated remembering some old history lessons. -You'll get another spike of births when the children born during the first start having children of their own, simply because there'll be so many of them at the same time. This won't pan out until either having children goes out of fashion for a while or some misfortune kills off a significant number of clan members before they can reproduce.-

Irstz blinked.

-I hadn't thought of that.- He admitted. -It is lucky that we planned our buildings for the near future then.-

-That depends on whether you want the boom or not.- Jesse remembered. -At least Fleshlings tend to be less likely to want children if they are crowded. Then again, you just experienced that and the desire remained very strong, so perhaps it is different with Outriders.-

-You seem to know quite a lot about it.- Irozz remarked. -Do Fleshling officers have a function in population control or construction planning? It seems more an Afrarsz duty to me.-

-No, but we were expected to know our history and population data affect the likelihood of war.-

-How so?- Istar asked suddenly interested.

-The larger the population the more resources are consumed.- Jesse explained. -At some point resources get scarce and people start fighting over them. The scarcer and more vital the resources are the more dangerous the situation gets.-

-Res... Is that a Razzle word or did you learn some from Orat as well?- Irozz complained.

-Razzle most likely.- Jesse decided. -Resources are stuff you need. Such as fruits to eat, water to drink, ammunition for your guns, room to live in. It's exactly what is happening right now. Ettar has cut us off from the resources we need and we attacked Arthame so we wouldn't go hungry. Now we're attacking Venthe because we need ammunition. But go further back and why is Ettar attacking us?-

-Because he wants to be His Nastiness.- Istar stated. -Is that a res..thing?-

-No, but it's also not the original reason. Zystin shares its home-world with several other noble clans and they have a rather small territory, but growing population. They want more room, but can't get it peacefully. That is a resource. Take another step back: Why did we conquer Rukkat? Why did we attack the Fleshlings? Room again. We needed a new home-world for you. ... A growing clan is all very nice, but you don't want it to outgrow your territory or the ability of your orchards to feed it.-

-That's a sore point.- Irozz admitted. -We have quite a lot of land for orchards and we've been planting trees pretty much since we arrived, but it'll be years before they'll be old enough to produce a decent amount of food. Right now they're just tiny little things growing nothing but leaves.-

-Which is why we need to keep Uthen subdued and selling their fruits as cheaply as possible.- Jesse returned. -Perhaps Unasz value as a hostage isn't as reduced by her Afrarsz death as we thought at first after all.-

But that took his mind back to remembering Gattler and the fact that he'd never see him again. Funny how one could grow used to a person one originally didn't even like.

The dining hall, too, looked much more cheerful than the one on the Warworld had, bright and hopeful, even though it was decorated much the same. What a difference the colour of walls could make!

Or maybe it was the mood of the people. Clearly everybody was enjoying the feast and victory ... though really Jesse wasn't sure it ought to be called that. The rebels had interrupted their operations and somehow Jesse doubted that Ettar would have allowed such sensibilities to affect military operations if he'd had any expectation that it might alter the final outcome of the war.

No, Ettar had merely postponed the battle as a show of respect to the dead Gattler, but was certain of his final victory.

And Jesse himself didn't feel like celebrating anything at all. Somehow despite the brightness of the room and the steady artificial light his mind kept straying to the memories of a dark temple and the flickering reflections of firelight on glass cut to resemble diamonds.

Would they send Gattler's body ... if it had even been recovered ... to his clan to be incinerated in the same temple Cirke had been or would they perform the ceremony on one of the rebels' safe worlds where neither his fellow clan members nor Jesse would be able to go to bring wreaths?

If only he hadn't been injured, he'd be there to attend the funeral if it was to be on Arthame. Razzle would be sure to go and Jesse could have come along quite naturally ...

Could he get someone to fly him to Arthame in time? The temple wasn't that far from the spaceport. He could probably ride one of the trucks that carried the fruits to the port back into the capital and the warehouses weren't that far from the temple. He could make it that far on his crutches.

-It is a fine celebration, isn't it?- Irstz drew him out of his thoughts.

-I guess so.- Jesse allowed. -This house certainly is much more cheerful than your old one. It is hard to believe that it is a mere town-house.-

-You don't agree then.- Irstz stated.

-I ... don't quite feel like we ought to be celebrating.- Jesse admitted. -Ettar gave up much too easily if the reports we've had are correct. He must still have something up his sleeve.-

-No doubt he has.- Irstz agreed. -But it is always a good idea to celebrate every victory, especially with civilians. It makes them happy and assures them that their side is winning the war.-

Jesse nodded.

-Morale is important.- He agreed. -But I'm not a civilian to be this easily manipulated. Ettarsz confidence worries me.-

-Bear in mind that that, too, might be manipulation.- Irstz advised.

-From what I've heard of him Ettar doesn't have that level of strategy in him.- Jesse replied. -And it must have been a very fast decision. There wouldn't have been time for some unknown advisor to step in and explain.-

-Unknown?- Irozz entered the conversation.

-I asked Razzle what he thought of the rebel Commanders. According to him Gattler alone was capable of thinking of manipulation as a possible tactic and even he didn't know how to actually do it. Of course there might be someone on a lower level that Razzle isn't aware of. Do you know who the political players in Zystin are?-

-Zhalme, the wife of the younger brother of Ettarsz father, would be who you're looking for.- Irstz supplied readily enough. -And no, she'd have had no business being with the attack fleet. She is no soldier and has pre-Academy age children to take care of. If this retreat was her idea it must have been planned well in advance, which means that Gattlersz death was fake.-

-Quite an elaborate rouse.- Jesse commented thinking that possibility over.

-Eh ... what?- Asked Istar.

-Quite.- Agreed Irstz.

-It's Razzle vocabulary for 'That seems very unlikely.'- Irozz supplied.

Jesse decided not to correct him since Irstz didn't either. Clearly the other two brothers didn't need to understand this.

-I suppose speculation will have to wait until we get more detailed news of the battle.- He said instead. -But ...- He hesitated.

-But?- Irozz prompted.

-It is a completely unconnected question and hardly relevant.- Jesse explained. -Merely ... There are still many things in civilian life that I don't fully understand, especially religion and well, Razzle told me you'd be able to explain Zzr better than he could.-

-He is the most powerful of the gods.- Irozz supplied immediately. -He can end and destroy everyone and everything.-

-Razzle said he could only destroy, though, that he has nothing to give his worshippers.- Jesse told him. -I'm used to gods as creators of everything and everyone, not destroyers.-

-Isn't a destroyer more powerful than a creator?- Irstz asked. -He can destroy all the creator creates.-

-But can he re-make it?- Jesse asked. -The creator can. I don't mean to challenge the view of Zzr as the most powerful, though. I was wondering why one would choose to particularly worship him.-

-Why, because he is the most powerful.- Istar said. -Whom else would you choose?-

-I don't know.- Jesse admitted. -That's why I'm asking. I'm trying to figure out whom to worship.-

-Zzr is the only choice.- Istar declared.

Irozz however wagged his head.

-There are many options.- He said. -Tar would suit you well.-

-So I've been told.- Jesse confirmed. -But I don't quite like the sound of him ... Not that Zzr sounded any better talking to Razzle, but Razzle admitted that he wasn't the best man to ask. He seemed to think one ought to gain something from one's gods.-

-Razzle always had weird ideas.- Istar informed him. -He spent too much time with scientists as a boy. That never does a child good.-

-He isn't wrong, though.- Irozz said. -About gaining something from one's chosen god, that is. And he is dedicated to Raz. He's wrong to say that Zzr has nothing to give, though. He can give us the total destruction of our enemies and their domains. For a soldier that must be everything.-

-Must it?- Jesse asked quite surprised.

-Of course.- Istar snapped. -What else do we go to war for?-

-So far.- Jesse stated. -I've always gone to conquer. The destruction of Arthame would have been a disaster for us because we need it to provide food. The destruction of Rukkat would have left you still seeking a new home. The same goes for the destruction of the Fleshling worlds.-

Istar snarled, Irozz blinked and wagged his head some more.

-Destruction has its place and time.- Irstz said calmly. -Like all great powers Zzrsz, too, must be used sparingly and wisely. He is a very useful god, but not one to overuse. Yes, Razzle would be one to see that ... and so are you. You are no more a creator than you are a destroyer, though. Nor do I think that Raz would suit you. There are many gods and all of them have something to give. You're sure to find one that fits you, but I fear you will not find him here. We always have been destroyers.- 


	21. Chapter 20: Tales and Meeting Rooms

Disclaimer 1: This is fanfic. That means I do not own any of it. I just borrow it to play with for a little while and let people see the pathetic results if they really want to.

Disclaimer 2: I'm not making any money from it. It's just for fun.

Disclaimer 3: What isn't borrowed is all made up. None of this is real or most likely at all realistic. Please don't trust any of the information in here. Most likely you know more about whatever I'm writing about than I do.

Disclaimer 4: Attitudes, views and opinions expressed by the characters or in the story are not necessarily those of the author. Even when writing Science Fiction or Fantasy I do not tend to attempt to create perfect/better worlds in which everybody gets a happy end ... or whatever is best for them. Please accept that some characters will have a bad ending or be unhappy.

Disclaimer 5: I intend no insult to anyone. If I offend anyone I'm very sorry. Please understand that it was an accident as I tend to be very clumsy in these things.

Chapter 20: Tales and Meeting Rooms

It was awfully cold in Zzr's temple. Even Cirke on her litter was shivering.

Should the dead be able to shiver?

The litter started to move forward towards the flames.

-Wait!- Jesse cried. -Are you really sure she's dead?-

-Of course she's dead.- Gattler said. -We're all dead. Why did you kill us, Jesse?-

The flames flared up suddenly engulfing everything, cold as ice.

-I didn't! Don't burn them! Don't go, Gattler! Don't go!-

But Gattler had already disappeared into the flaming pit and another figure was rising from below, sparkling with diamonds. A figure that the flames couldn't burn ... Zzr himself! The destroyer of everything.

-You have been very helpful to me.- Zzr said and as he stepped towards him Jesse finally saw his face.

-Ettar?- He whispered. -But ...-

-Of course.- Zzr said. -Did you think I could walk among mortals under my own name? Foolish child. But you have been an excellent tool. I couldn't have done better myself, thousands, millions of children. Ah, but now your work is done.-

He reached out to kill Jesse and Jesse screamed ...

... and awoke.

-Sorry.- He panted. -Just a nightmare.-

There was some grumbling, but Irozz silenced it quickly.

-We knew it would happen.- He stated. -We were warned.-

-I'm still sorry.- Jesse assured him. -If I could stop it somehow ...-

Actually, quite possibly he could if he dared take the risk. Moku had let his alcohol preventive run out and at least not said anything about his pain medication not being compatible with alcohol.

Was it worth going back to drinking, though? Did he want to go through the withdrawal again? Could he even afford to cloud his mind with alcohol while among the Elhessare?

-Well, you needn't have worried about Istar in any case.- Maktez cackled. -He's still asleep.-

Jesse stared into the darkness in he direction of Istar's bed. He could only see the outline of his lying form, though. Still, if he were awake he'd correct Maktez, wouldn't he?

-Let's not wake him now then.- Irozz decided. -Shut up and get back to sleep. You, too, Maktez.-

-Right after I've had a little snack.- Maktez announced and walked towards the door.

Well, they seemed to take it quite well at least, Jesse decided. That didn't seem worth the risk of testing his current reaction to alcohol.

He closed his eyes hoping he'd fall asleep again, but the picture of Ettar surrounded by flames rose before his eyes again.

What the hell was Ettar doing in his nightmares anyway? He'd never figured in them before his return from Arthame and now he kept appearing. And the same was true for ice. Up until then his dreams had almost always been of fire, but since then this was actually the first time that there had been flames ... and they had felt like ice, not fire.

'I can't be afraid of Ettar.' He told himself. 'I just can't afford that.'

Of course the man had come closer to killing him than anyone ever had before. The only time he'd been closer to death had been the disaster of the battle of Yuma and then it had been the explosions that he himself had caused that had almost killed him. It hadn't been any person, just fire ...

And he'd been having nightmares of fire ever since. Now he had nightmares of Ettar and ice, because Ettar was the Icebird.

So that was it? That was the answer Iktrz and Lutaz were looking for? He was afraid of death? Death as symbolised by fire, Ettar and Zzr the destroyer?

He was just a miserable little coward, then?

No! No, he couldn't be! He was a Commander of the Outrider army. He could not afford to be afraid of death.

Still he resolved to avoid thinking about Zzr as much as he could in future. Maybe there was a god of courage in battle? That seemed to suit the Outrider mindset and would be just the thing Jesse needed. He'd have to look into that tomorrow.

Even though he lay awake for a long time trying to calm his thoughts he never heard Maktez return. Either the old man could move extraordinarily silently when he felt like it or he had lied when he'd said he'd return to bed after his snack.

There was no way to be sure because when Jesse woke up most of his dorm-mates had already left. Apparently they hadn't seen any reason to wake him and upon closer inspection it made perfect sense. He was here to rest and recover. There were no important duties he ought to attend to. He could sleep as long as he liked.

Jesse pushed himself to the edge of the bed, found his crutches and after a few failed attempts managed to get to his feet. If he had the chance he still liked to shower in private, though he didn't like to admit to such Fleshling sensibilities.

After that he needed to find himself some breakfast and perhaps, if he wasn't too exhausted, get somebody to show him the rest of the house.

While Jesse found that he was walking much better than the day before exploring the whole house turned out to be an overly ambitious goal. He managed to see an entire floor, but then needed to climb the stairs to get to the next. Stairs weren't nearly as practical as ramps, he decided halfway up. A ramp wouldn't have been as big a problem.

Unfortunately town-houses tended to have stairs since those took less room than ramps. He'd have to ask Irozz whether the Elhessar clan-hold was to have ramps.

By the time he'd reached the next floor all Jesse wanted was a rest so he asked a passing servant whether there was some comfortable place to sit nearby.

-Sure.- The young woman said brightening immediately. Apparently she liked the request. -All the elders are out on the terrace over there sharing tall tales. They are very entertaining ... especially when one hasn't heard them before.-

Jesse gave her a look.

-They tend to repeat themselves eventually.- She explained. -So it gets less interesting if you've grown up with them. But you're a stranger to the clan. I bet your elders tell different tales.-

-Probably.- Jesse allowed. -I didn't grow up with them either, though.-

He'd mostly spent his time training and with his siblings when he'd visited Varen since the adults hadn't felt he was old enough to join them. So this time he was considered elderly then? Well, it couldn't hurt to get an idea of how old Outriders spent their days and he really wanted to sit down for a while. He'd get up and find some younger people to hang out with once he was rested.

The terrace turned out to be an excellent place to spend a warm sunny morning like this. It was well equipped with comfortable chairs, arbhes tables and even a small bar that offered refreshment fruits and cold drinks.

Nobody there seemed surprised or dismayed when Jesse joined them and at second glance this wasn't surprising either. There were almost as many crippled as elderly people here, though some of them qualified as both. Most of their faces were familiar to Jesse, though there also were some that he couldn't remember seeing before.

At first Jesse assumed that they were people newly returned from the vapour chambers, but then he remembered that so far the devapourising had focussed on strong young people who'd be useful in the construction work and now people that could be pressed into service as soldiers. The elderly and crippled would of course be saved for last when they could be brought into finished clan-holds that offered every possible comfort.

These strangers had to be common members of he clan that usually kept in the background at meals and didn't go about much outside of them.

When Jesse arrived Maktez was going on about the mistake of making Istar weapons master again, but few of the others seemed to agree with him.

-What would you have wanted him for then?- An old woman demanded. -Afrar perhaps? A fine one he'd have made. Probably would have sold us straight out to Mithgath, Istar would have. That's what.-

-Ai no.- Said one of the old cripples waving his metal arm about to emphasise his statements. -Master of ceremonies, of course. And Irstz for weapons master.-

Laughter all around.

-That certainly would have done for all our proud traditions.- Ghetze, who as far as Jesse could tell was some kind of great-aunt on the maternal side to Jean Claude, said. -You young folk leave little Istar right where he is. That one's no good for anything else, but he's sure good at that.-

-Irozz and Irstz are quite capable fighters as well from what I've heard, though.- Jesse threw into the mix just to see what would happen.

-Oh you stay out of what you know nothing about, youngling.- The old woman declared promptly.

-Yeah, you do that.- The cripple with the metal arm agreed. -You leave it to old cooks and chamber maids to decide.-

More laughter.

-Ah, let it be.- Ghetze waved a hand dismissively. -It's an old argument and it's never led us anywhere yet and never will. Go on and tell us how you got your injury instead. There's a story we haven't heard, yet.-

Jesse would have preferred to hear some of their tales first so he'd know what the accepted tone and level of detail was, but he couldn't very well refuse. Oh well, they'd be sure to want to hear all about the situation on Arthame that they could.

Indeed he had no sooner started his story than somebody asked him to describe the world itself, its cities, vegetation and people. This didn't differ much from what the younger clan members usually wanted to know and Jesse felt on quite safe ground there. Perhaps he could even get through the story without thinking of Gattler too much.

Somehow Jesse ended up staying until it was almost lunchtime and might have remained even longer if Jensz hadn't come looking for him.

-Oh, here you are.- She told him not bothering with any greetings. -What are you doing here?-

-Resting my foot and trading war stories.- Jesse informed her. -Was I supposed to be doing anything else?-

-Well, I thought you'd want to get started on planning Jean Claudesz birthday.- Jensz explained. -We don't have all that long and I expect once you're better you'll want to go on excursions and see a bit of our world, so we'd better get this out of the way now.-

-I'm really not quite sure how to do it, you know.- Jesse told her. -I've never even seen a birthday ceremony before.-

-Oh, it's quite easy, really.- Jensz declared. -All you really need to do is weave the bracelet and decide where we do it. And what order people attack in of course. That might get a little tricky. So where are we going to meet and who should be on the committee?-

-I don't know.- Jesse admitted. -I suppose in a meeting room, but I don't know where there are meeting rooms in this house. The only one I've seen is the big one in the shelter.-

-Well, that one's out of the question.- Jensz declared. -Entirely wrong atmosphere and way too big.-

-So tell me one that's just right and we'll take that one.- Jesse promised, but apparently things didn't work that way.

He had to go with Jensz to look at several different meeting rooms on several different floors and pick one himself. Of course this procedure involved going up and down a lot of stairs and they ended up being late for lunch because Jesse needed to rest again before he could manage another flight of stairs to get there.

-Why don't we just take the last room we looked at.- He suggested when they finally sat down at the table. -It looked perfectly fine to me.-

In fact, they had all looked more or less the same. Jesse had absolutely no preferences, except that he'd rather not use one on the top floor due to the number of stairs on the way there.

-Oh, but you haven't seen them all, yet.- Jensz declared. -How can you possibly decide without having seen all the options?-

-They are all fine with me.- Jesse assured her.

-What are you choosing?- Irozz inquired with mild interest.

-A meeting room to have a meeting in.- Jesse replied. -Unless I got it wrong and we're also having Jean Claudesz birthday ceremony in there.-

-Why no, of course we aren't.- Jensz protested immediately. -We need something bigger for that. And with less furniture.-

-Take the orange meeting room.- Irozz told them simply.

-Oh, but that clashes horribly with my hair.- Jensz replied promptly.

-Excuse me?- Jesse asked her. -Do we intend to have a meeting or are we having our holo-pictures taken?-

-You will take the orange meeting room.- Irozz growled.

Jensz rolled her eyes.

-Yes, Afrar.- She said meekly however.

Perhaps, Jesse realised, he had to be more decisive with her ... but it would be hard when he didn't know what needed to be done and what options there were.

-A pity Razzle isn't here.- He said half to himself. -He'd know how to do this efficiently.-

-Razzle is not welcome in this house.- Istar growled.

-And he'd mess up the ceremony completely.- Irozz declared. -He always insists on doing weird stuff that has no place in a traditional ceremony.-

-Weird stuff?- Jesse asked him. -What kind of weird stuff? I thought he rather respected tradition.-

-Where it suits him.- Irozz explained. -Where it doesn't he disregards it entirely.-

-It's not quite that.- Irstz intervened. -He is quite untraditional in the way he runs his dorm, but apparently that suits its members and Istarsz dorm is available to those that prefer the traditional way. There is supposed to be variety to allow people to choose a dorm they will feel comfortable in. With birthday ceremonies he doesn't actually go against tradition, but borrows those of others, mostly scientists. I ... actually quite like to see those as well, but obviously we can't have that for Jean Claude. A pity we couldn't get Razzle in for Jenszsz birthdays, though. That would have been very fitting.-

-They were ridiculous enough as it was!- Istar snapped. -Sorting blocks like a child's puzzle, indeed.-

-It is traditional to give a scientist at least one scientific task to solve.- Jensz returned. -And it wasn't a child's puzzle. The trick was to figure out by what scientific characteristic the blocks had to be sorted in order to activate a door mechanism.-

-So you have to do tasks as part of the ceremony?- Jesse asked rather surprised.

-To get there.- Jensz explained. -For Jean Claude that will mean having to fight his way past people, but in a traditional scientist ceremony the tasks are more intellectual than physical. Usually you have to start by figuring out where the ceremony is even held.-

-That sounds like fun.- Jesse declared.

-It does allow for a lot more variety than the warrior tradition.- Irstz confirmed.

-That's Razzlesz usual argument.- Istar growled. -That just fighting is too boring.-

-Sometimes it can be better to out-think an opponent rather than outfight him.- Jesse pointed out.

-Too slow and boring ... unless of course one is such a wimp as you and Razzle that one can't be sure of one's victory.- Istar declared.

-I thought your traditions also favour survival?- Jesse challenged. -Why choose a direct attack in which soldiers will be killed if you might be able to trick your opponent into letting them pass unharmed?-

-Boring.- Istar declared.

-I see.- Jesse commented. -You really are a one trick pony as I keep hearing. Quite impressive when seen in your own field for the first time, but ... how did Nemesis put it? Mediocre at best everywhere else.-

-What!- Istar snarled.

-Oh, he meant no insult to you.- Jesse told him sweetly. -He was merely explaining why I'd better look to Razzle for an example of the sort of Commander he wants me to be rather than to you.-

-Istar trained Nemesis himself.- Irozz said sharply.

-I know.- Jesse confirmed. -That's exactly why I asked him why he'd point me at Razzle instead. And make no mistake, Nemesis is very grateful for what Istar taught him. He merely thinks he'd have learned even more from Razzle. Until now I didn't quite understand why.-

He smiled at Istar.

-You certainly are doing very well imitating his way of speaking.- Irstz commented. -Though I rather doubt that that is what Nemesis meant for you to learn.-

-Ah, but how would I learn from him if I don't understand his vocabulary?- Jesse challenged. -He does have a way of passing it on to people, though. His tank crew is just as hard to understand as he is and the rest aren't far behind.-

-Soldiers do tend to imitate their commanding officer.- The clan psychologist entered the conversation. -As clan members tend to imitate their Afrar. A useful phenomenon if one leads by example.-

-I fail to see what use talking in a way nobody can understand is.- Istar snarled.

-Of course you do, Pussycat.- Jesse told him. -Of course you do.-

-Peace!- Irozz ordered finally. -Let's not have a fight at the table.-

-It wouldn't be much of a fight.- Istar declared.

-You'd hurt a poor cripple?- Jesse returned indicating his crutches.

-I said peace!- Irozz roared. -Be silent and eat.-

Jesse shrugged and ate. The food here was better than on the Warworld, though it didn't compare with that on Arthame ... or Varen. Very little of it was likely to have been grown on this world and delivered fresh to the kitchen this morning. Most probably had been brought in from Arthame in fact.

He wondered how long it would take for this to change. When would Rukkat be able to supply itself? And after that? Would it go on to export fruits itself? If so how would that affect Arthame and the Uthene? Would Una know the same superfluity of money that Gattler had been used to?

Or would she grow up a hostage on the Warworld and never see the planet that was technically her home?

Much to Jensz annoyance the children swarmed Jesse the moment he got up after the meal and carried him off to the garden to make good on his promise to tell them of his adventures on Arthame.

Mindful of their elders' wishes Jesse did his best to focus on tales of fighting, strategy and tactics, then described the flora and buildings. The tale of the cat couldn't be avoided for long, though and once he started on funny anecdotes he discovered that Jenny was just as interested in Ramszet's 'miniature T'Hone'.

This was rather unexpected as the thing had been quite disgusting and Jesse thought he'd described that adequately.

-Oh, but why did you kill it?- Jenny protested. -You should have taken it to the scientists for study.-

-What? Jenny, Arthame is an Outrider world. That creature is sure to be very familiar to our biologists, especially those living on Arthame. And I didn't really kill it. I just threw it away. It probably crawled into a crevice and felt quite at home there since that's most likely where it's meant to live if it crawls into machinery by accident.-

-How do you know it isn't meant to live in planes?- Shent asked. -If that's where it was it's probably where it belongs.-

-Animals do not belong in machines.- Jesse informed the children sharply. -It doesn't do either the machines or the animals any good. Both the plane and the creature are quite lucky to have survived the creature's mistake.-

-I like planes.- A little girl decided. -I'm going to be a pilot just like Ramszet.-

-That's a very good career.- Jesse praised her. -And Ramszet will be very proud to hear that you want to be like him when I tell him.-

-You're going to be a stupid laundress just like your father.- An only slightly older girl informed her. -You're just a commoner.-

-Is Ramszet a good pilot?- A little boy wanted to know. -He doesn't sound good at repairs.-

-Commoners can become pilots if they want to.- Jesse explained hastily. -And very many do. Like Azpet. He's a commoner and a very good pilot. And yes, Ramszet is a very good pilot, too. He's very brave and loyal and always obeys his orders. ... Did I tell you how Ramszet almost caught Ettar after he'd escaped me?-

-But he isn't good at repairs.- The little boy repeated.

-He is a pilot, not a mechanic ... and not a tech officer either. Tech officers do repairs sometimes, so if you want to learn to repair planes you should become a tech officer. It's very difficult, though. One has to be very smart.-

-Is Ramszet very smart?- The first little girl said climbing into Jesse's lap.

-No.- Jesse had to admit. -He isn't at all smart. He's strong and brave and loyal, a very good soldier, but he wouldn't have made it as a tech officer. So you see, it was all for the best that he didn't try to repair his plane on his own. He might have broken it even more.-

-You broke it even more.- The second girl pointed out.

-I'm not a tech officer either.- Jesse admitted.

-Is Commander Razzle?- Someone asked.

-Yes, as a matter of fact he is. That's why he knew how to repair the plane.-

-Commander Razzle is really smart, isn't he?-

-Yes, he is. Do you want to be like Commander Razzle someday? That'd be an excellent goal, too, you know, but you've got to be very, very talented.-

-Does one have to be very, very talented to be like Ramszet?- The little girl in his lap asked.

-No, Ramszet isn't that unusually talented.- Jesse said. -He just worked very hard at the Academy and picked all the courses that suited him best. Anyone can do that ... if they have the strength and bravery to be a soldier. Some people don't, of course, but then they should not go to the Warrior Academy at all.-

-No, I don't want to be like Commander Razzle.- The other child decided. -Commander Istar doesn't like him and he's a bastard.-

Jesse cuffed him over the head lightly. He probably hardly felt it being used to the usual brutal Elhessar punishments.

-If you must talk about that at all, say shadow child. The other word isn't polite.-

-I don't want to be polite and Commander Istar says it, too.-

-They can become laundresses then. I'll be a pilot like Ramszet.-

-Commander Istar is a big, strong Commander and people can't just hit him.- Jesse informed the uppity child. -You are not. And yes, such people should become laundresses or cooks or scientists or accountants. There are a lot of things that need doing.-

-Or exobiologists.- Jenny stated with a sigh. -I want to be an exobiologist.-

-But you can be a soldier.- Jesse claimed. -It's in your blood.-

-I don't know.- Jenny said. -I mean, I'm really good at fighting, but marching and formations and theory, not so much. And I'm much weaker than my hand to hand training partners, too.-

-They're usually boys.- An older boy argued. -Boys are stronger than girls. I bet you'd be just as strong as the rest of the group if you didn't fight so well your Afrar pairs you with the very strongest so they'll have a chance fighting you. That means you're really, really good, not bad.-

-I think I'd fail History.- Jenny said shrugging that explanation off. -There's a History exam at the end of first year, isn't there?-

The older boy nodded.

-There was. But maybe we'll have different subjects when they finish building the new Accademy here.-

-Do you want help studying History?- Jesse offered. -I never learned Outrider History so it'd be very interesting.-

-No.- Said Jenny. -I don't want to study it. I'll just fail.-

-Then don't complain if you do fail.- The boy said. -Everybody else studies History. I bet even Commander Razzle did despite being a b... shadow child.-

-Actually, Commander Razzle studied really hard.- Jesse said. -He always wanted to be the very best in his class. And he knows a lot of history that even other officers don't. That's the sort of stuff really successful Commanders are made of.-

-You said it's Ramszet that studied really hard. Commander Razzle was very, very talented.- Another child complained.

-One doesn't exclude the other. They both studied really hard and Commander Razzle was also really unusually talented. That's why he became a Commander and Ramszet only a Subcommander. He's not talented enough to make Commander so that's the best he could achieve.-

-Subcommander's not bad.- One of the smaller boys said. -My Mummy wants to become a Subcommander. She's senior Wing Leader now.-

-Subcommander is very very good.- Jesse assured the boy. -And so is Wing Leader. Very few people make Subcommander. That's why Ramszet had to work so hard.-

-Well.- Said Jenny. -So I won't make Subcommander then. I don't like History. It's all stupid stuff about stupid spears and light signals and formations. I hate formations. I'm always in the wrong place and then the older kids yell at me and never tell me where I ought to be. If they told me, I'd just go there and they wouldn't have to yell. Bet I'll be horrible at it at the Academy, too.-

-We could practise formations in the garden now.- The older boy suggested. -We like to teach the little ones so they already know when they start the Academy. You'll tell us if we get it wrong, right?- He asked Jesse.

-Sure.- Jesse promised.

He'd much rather have seen their History books, but helping the kids practise basic formations probably counted as furthering their military interests as well.

-Not now, though!- Jensz was standing in the door. -We really have to start planning Jean Claudesz ceremony now. Go play with your toys for a while. Or study.-

The kids grumbled, but did leave when she started slapping them and Jesse resigned himself to party planning in the orange meeting room. Now that he thought about it, orange probably clashed with his hair as well.

The room turned out to be perfectly acceptable, though a bit large for just two people to meet in. This problem however would apparently soon be remedied as Jensz' first question once they had sat down was who else would be joining them.

-Well, Commander Gaspar wanted to come to the ceremony, but he wasn't sure he could leave the Warworld for that, so he'll hardly be able to come to preparatory meetings.- Jesse told her. -Commander Razzle is still on Arthame and apparently not welcome here anyway. Point ... Did we re-establish the spaceline?-

Jensz shrugged.

-I haven't heard anything about it. If you haven't either ... well, we could ask Afrar. Commander Istar, I mean. He should be as up to date on the military situation as anybody on this planet can be.-

-I guess Jean Claudesz old teammates all went to Szurat with him?- Jesse asked her trying desperately to think of anyone else Jean Claude tended to hang out with.

Gattler was dead, Grammis and Vanquo had joined the enemy. Lutatz and Jean Claude never had seemed at all close. Considering that Jean Claude hadn't graduated that long before Jesse had joined the Outriders it probably wasn't surprising. Most likely Lutatz had already been retired from active duty by the time Jean Claude had joined the dorm.

-Those that are on our side, I expect.- Jensz agreed. -I don't think we'll have much luck with active soldiers unless someone happens to be wounded.-

-Old schoolfellows?- Jesse suggested. -From before his Academy days obviously, since the Academy guys would be active soldiers now.-

-Uh ... I remember there were some that used to come over sometimes. I thought they were horribly annoying little rats and didn't really bother to remember their names. It's not like he'd have seen much of them later if they didn't go on to the Academy with him, though.-

-And if they did go to the Academy with him, they are active soldiers.- Jesse completed. -Wonderful. How about scientist friends? I never saw Jean Claude hang out with scientists much, but he must know some, right?-

-He's a soldier.- Jensz declared. -Why would he hang out with scientists? I only spend so much time with soldiers because they're my relatives.-

Jesse sighed. Having scientist friends seemed so very natural when Razzle spoke of it, but on the other hand he'd be surprised indeed if he learned of Mohawk or Ramszet having even just one scientist for a friend. Jean Claude wasn't stupid, though. Surely he could have a conversation with a scientist without either party being bored out of his mind.

-I suppose we're stuck with relatives then.- He decided. -There should be some of about Jean Claudesz age among Istarsz troops, right? He has known those all his life. And then there are the ones that should be at the Accademy, but aren't. They're not all that much younger. Some are older than me.-

-He hasn't taken any special interest in any of them, but I guess we can ask. Those that were in his dorm on the Warworld will definitely have to come.-

-Well, that's something. Then ... maybe some of the old people that he likes particularly? The kids like to listen to their tales, don't they?-

-Yes, but again, I don't think anyone took a special interest in Jean Claude or he in them. He's an awfully self-contained person.- Jensz said with another shrug.

-Irstz did.- Jesse informed her. -He told me that he made a particular effort to direct Jean Claudesz interests when he was a boy and fears that that might be why Jean Claude decided to become a spy.- -Uncle Irstz is a terrible bore.- Jensz opined.

-Are you sure? He seems the smartest of the three brothers to me. ... No disrespect for your Afrar, but he's not much given to deep thought. I'd have thought you'd like Irstz.-

-Why, because I'm a scientist? If you need to know, I like third cousin on the paternal side Tholek. Jean Claude doesn't, though, so that's no use.-

-Right.- Jesse agreed. -But we'll ask Irstz. He's also master of ceremonies so he'll know best what the traditions are.-

-I know what the traditions are.- Jensz insisted.

-And maybe we can get Gaspar to take a holiday for this after all.- Jesse continued. -He seemed very disappointed that he might not be able to be at the ceremony and maybe the rebels' retreat will allow him time for a break. Do you know how long such re-groupings usually take?-

Jensz shrugged.

-No idea, I'm no soldier. You should ask Afrar ... No wait, don't! Maybe we shouldn't even have Gaspar even if we could. It might make Afrar suspicious and if he ever starts to think Jean Claude and Gaspar might be more than just dorm-mates ...-

-Suspicious of what?- Jesse asked her quite perplexed. -More than ... I'm Jean Claudesz companion and Istar knows that. There's no reason in the world he should think it might be Gaspar. And if he did he'd probably be pleased. At least Gaspar is fully Outrider and an old blood noble. Why should he mind?-

-Oh, of course he wouldn't think that. But if he knew that Gaspar and Jean Claude ... you know, he'd get seriously worried about the future of the line. Though I'm not sure why there has to be anything to it, because everybody does at some point and Jean Claude told me it's all casual and it couldn't be anything more, because Gaspar never is serious about anyone. But I guess it'd look serious if he were to be part of the committee, especially when he ought to be on the Warworld preparing for the next rebel attack.-

Jesse took some time to piece that together. Was Jensz assuming that Jean Claude and Gaspar were having a sexual relationship? But that was ridiculous. Jesse had known both of them to date girls. Gaspar had even as good as admitted to being into Fleshling women, which, Jesse concluded, must mean he liked his girlfriends petite and young. Quite possibly Fleshlings were particularly appealing to him, because they were perfectly legal at an age when they still looked like children to Outriders. Gaspar could go after them without having to feel guilty for even feeling the desire.

Would Gaspar go after an under age Outrider girl? Jesse sincerely hoped that the answer was no, but clearly such cases weren't entirely unheard of among Outriders, or else what had happened to Razzle's mother? Surely if her pregnancy had been the unfortunate result of an affair between two teenagers they would have been made to marry and Razzle would be perfectly legitimate, though born without permission.

And why would Istar mind if Gaspar and Jean Claude were having an affair? It wasn't like that could lead to an unwanted pregnancy and surely if Outriders had any prejudices against same sex relationships Jesse would have heard a homophobic slur or two before now. He definitely knew plenty of swearwords of a sexual nature.

On the other hand if he was his companion's lover it suddenly made perfect sense that Gaspar had visited Jesse in the hospital wing and done his best to keep him entertained. He'd done it as a favour to Jean Claude, of course!

But then what of all those girlfriends?

-What?- Jensz prompted. -Say something.-

-I'm still trying to figure out a way to get Gaspar here. Without drawing any undue attention. I think Jean Claude would want him to be part of this, don't you?-

-It's too risky. He wouldn't want Afrar to find out.- Jensz opined.

-I don't know. I mean, Gaspar did give me his hair, so he'll have that, but does that make up for Gaspar missing the actual giving?-

-You'll do the giving anyway.- Jensz stated as if it were an established fact. -Gaspar wouldn't dare get in the way of that and Jean Claude wouldn't want him to.-

-Maybe, but Gaspar should still be there when he gets it. That's the established mode, isn't it?-

-Est ... If you're trying to make fun of me!- Jensz jumped up quite suddenly and advanced towards Jesse in a very menacing fashion.

He started at her.

-What?-

Oh, damnit, scientist or not, she was still a fully trained Cat-of-War.

-Whatever did I say that sounded like a joke at your expense? I mean, I was talking about Gaspar and entirely serious.-

She sat down again.

-Maybe we can get Point and Brunhilda to come, too.- She suggested. -Then it wouldn't be so obvious that Gaspar left his post for the ceremony. He wouldn't be the only one at least.-

-Why would we have Brunhilda at Jean Claudesz ceremony? He doesn't even like her.-

-Doesn't he? I never heard him say anything about her.-

-Well, it's not like they're at each other's throats all the time. They don't meet much outside of strategy meetings. He doesn't like it when she stands next to him during those, though. But he'll just go stand somewhere else.-

-Go stand somewhere else? What of his assigned place?-

-What assigned place? There aren't even any chairs except Nemesissz throne. We just stand wherever we like.-

Jensz frowned.

-That can't be right. I'm very sure there's a proper order Commanders stand in. There was a tale about it when I was a kid. I think Great-Great-Uncle Huktz used to tell it, but I don't remember exactly how it went or what the rule was. I was only seven or eight when he died.-

-When your elders die.- Jesse asked with a sudden start of realisation. -Do their tales die with them?Don't other elders tell them again?-

-No, why would they? They have their own tales.-

-And they aren't written down either?-

-Whatever for?-

-To preserve them past the third generation. So old lessons don't have to be re-learned over and over again, so knowledge and traditions aren't lost over time.-

Jensz stared at him.

Razzle would have understood. Razzle would have known. Razzle would have explained ... something.

-I think.- Jesse decided. -Instead of practising with the children I'd better spend this time talking with your elders and writing down their tales so future children can read them instead of having to hear the tales of their living elders over and over again.-

-Writing's for artists.- Jensz protested. -And those are just silly old tales to amuse little children.-

-Those tales prepare the children for the Academy.- Jesse tried to explain. -And I owe a debt to your clan's children.-

He had promised to help them practise formations today, though, so rather than look for the elders right away he went and found Jenny to tell her that he was free to play with them now.

Jensz remained behind to write a list of relatives that should be part of their committee. He'd have to trust her to choose people that really meant something to Jean Claude rather than ones she herself liked.

Jenny wasn't at all delighted with the proposal, but her dorm-mates were quite enthusiastic and soon had a large enough group of children together.

Organising units proved to take some time as the first idea, to just assign people of roughly the same age to the same unit, turned out not to be practical. The youngest children were too clueless what they were supposed to do and didn't even manage to form a line.

Jesse stepped in and declared the oldest children officers whose duty it was to ensure that their young soldiers were in the right place. This resulted in a lot of yelling and some punching and kicking necessitating a reminder that the youngest soldiers weren't being disobedient but 'ill instructed' and in need of directions rather than discipline.

This proved to be a new concept to most of the children and Jesse spent some time elaborating it.

-A lot of very brave soldiers are also very stupid.- He explained. -A good officer needs to know how to recognise when a soldier doesn't understand his task and how to make the instruction simple enough for him. That way a lot of soldiers that seem useless at first glance can be made very useful. Once he does prove himself useful it is important to tell him so. This will make him feel proud of his improvement and makes it more likely that he will tell you next time he isn't sure what he should do. If you yell at him or punish him for being stupid he'll just try to hide it and most likely do something wrong.-

-Soldiers don't need to be smart.- A girl told him. -That's for musty scientists.-

-They don't.- Jesse confirmed. -But they need to understand what they are supposed to do. Now, let's try that again and this time, officers, explain to your soldiers and make sure they understand.-

-It might be a bit early for them to start officers' training.- Irstz appeared at Jesse's elbow.

-Quite likely, but I think we're about to see who's got some basic talent in that way and who absolutely doesn't. And the youngest do need guidance to participate in these exercises.-

-You needn't have made them.-

-I didn't. They wanted to. And I do think it is likely to be useful. At least Jenny was complaining that she's afraid of failing the subject.-

-I note that Jenny isn't here.- Irstz pointed out. -And she'll receive a full year of professional instruction before she will be tested. Instruction that starts at the very beginning.-

Indeed she appeared to have slipped away.

-Should I have made her? Maybe she's studying History instead. She said that was worrying as well.-

-That ... is unusual. It isn't considered a difficult subject. You don't need to be particularly smart, strong or skilled. The only students I've known to have trouble in it before had very noticeable problems with their memory. Jenny doesn't ... and she will receive instruction in it before she is tested as well. She'll be fine.-

Jesse shrugged.

-Then maybe she's just hit a rather contrary phase in her development.- He suggested.

-Now that isn't unusual for her age at all.- Irstz confirmed Jesse's suspicion.

So puberty didn't actually come noticeably later to Outriders than to Fleshlings.


	22. Chapter 21: Lost in Translation

Disclaimer 1: This is fanfic. That means I do not own any of it. I just borrow it to play with for a little while and let people see the pathetic results if they really want to.

Disclaimer 2: I'm not making any money from it. It's just for fun.

Disclaimer 3: What isn't borrowed is all made up. None of this is real or most likely at all realistic. Please don't trust any of the information in here. Most likely you know more about whatever I'm writing about than I do.

Disclaimer 4: Attitudes, views and opinions expressed by the characters or in the story are not necessarily those of the author. Even when writing Science Fiction or Fantasy I do not tend to attempt to create perfect/better worlds in which everybody gets a happy end ... or whatever is best for them. Please accept that some characters will have a bad ending or be unhappy.

Disclaimer 5: I intend no insult to anyone. If I offend anyone I'm very sorry. Please understand that it was an accident as I tend to be very clumsy in these things.

Chapter 21: Lost in Translation

Jesse really missed Azpet the next day. He'd become quite used to typing notes in Outrider himself, but actually writing down stories turned out to be quite a different thing. For one thing he couldn't type as quickly as people spoke and then what they said quite often sounded alright aloud, but simply wasn't acceptable on the screen. Not to mention that most of the elders favoured a different vocabulary than Jesse was used to reading in current military reports. He recognised most of the words from spoken Outrider, if some only as ones he'd heard from Razzle before, but often couldn't remember ever having read them. Azpet probably would have known how to spell them, but Jesse could only guess.

Could he ask his military secretary to edit what was in effect a children's book?

-You should pace yourself, youngling.- Hukze, a retired cook who suffered badly from rheumatism, advised him. -Take notes on one tale now, take them to the library and type them up properly there and then come back for the next one. If you write one every morning and one every afternoon that'll be quite enough.-

-I won't be here forever.- Jesse reminded her. -And I do intend to go out and see Rukkat once my foot allows. I want to write down as many tales as I can before I leave.-

-Don't try to put in everything.- A crippled librarian advised. -The only children that will read the really thick books are the ones least likely to become soldiers.-

-Perhaps that is because those books don't tell of wars and battles enough.- Jesse suggested.

-Oh no.- The librarian assured him. -Many of those books are filled to the brim with old war sagas. It is that children that have the patience and curiosity to read something that long usually are drawn to the Science Academy. And no matter what you may have heard from Afrare or Commanders, a clan does need its doctors and nurses, its architects and bookkeepers.-

-And you just can't help the occasional historian and musician popping up.- Hukze added.

-And right now.- Mrefth told them. -We need to raise farmers. We'll get some out of the vapour chambers, of course, but they won't live forever and we haven't owned any orchards to farm in a very long time. None of our current children have any knowledge of that sort of work yet, but we need a number of them to choose it, if we want to be successful on this new world.-

Jesse hadn't even thought of that before. Of course a clan needed farmers. Arthez had them, though as far as he knew they were all common born. Urak's parents were farmers. Uthen only had overseers as far as Jesse knew, but almost all of their serfs farmed.

The Warworld however was entirely made of metal making it impossible to grow anything there, so of course all farmers had either been directed towards other careers or packed away for future use on the new homeworld when the refugees from the old homeworld had moved there.

At least he wasn't the only one who'd overlooked that fact. The other elders clearly hadn't considered it before either.

-You mustn't forget that once they've been unpacked the farmers are sure to have children, too.- He said to reassure them. -And then other children will be able to see them work as well. They might even be especially interested because it is new to them.-

-Children tend to want to do what their parents did.- The librarian stated. -It's usually what they are best suited for. And we are likely to get too few farmers out of the chambers. Not all clan members escaped the destruction of the homeworld and ... not all chambers survived to this day, nor have we produced any new farmers in all the generations since the destruction. Mrefth is quite right: It will be a problem.-

-I don't think Afrar Irozz would thank me if I start to talk about the joys of farming to the children.- Jesse decided after a moment. -I could imagine Jenny being amenable, though. At least fruit trees are living things and one is likely to see animals while at work.-

Mrefth snorted.

-She's hardly what I meant.- He explained. -It's common born children that turn to farming. Nobles go to war ... or into science if thy are unfit for fighting.-

-Not always.- Jesse said. -Uthen prefers to keep noble born girls at home to breed for example. They like them to become overseers in their orchards ... or accountants. Only those boys best fitted for it are sent to the Warrior Academy.-

The last statement was only a guess. He didn't really know how the boys that were to ensure that the clan retained its noble status were chosen.

-Uthen is nothing.- The librarian dismissed it. -They have no tradition and are more merchants than nobles. We have always been soldiers first.-

-In any case, it would be a very bad idea to try to talk Jenny into avoiding the Academy.- Hukze said. -Commander Istar won't listen to it. His children are off limits unless we want our bones broken.-

-Very well.- Jesse said. -Do any of you know any tales of people who weren't fit to be soldiers and found happiness as farmers?-

As it turned out most of them had never even met any farmers and thus the idea was dropped.

It got Jesse thinking, though. Perhaps collecting the tales of one clan wasn't such a good idea after all, perhaps he'd get a better book by collecting tales from different clans. The Uthene were sure to have many tales like the one the Elhessare elders wanted. Urak probably knew some, too.

And what of Azpet? Had he grown up with tales of making the very best boots and the prettiest dancing shoes?

And what would Razzle's reaction be if Jesse asked him for a tale for such a collection? He'd told the children on Arthame of distant worlds, which was pretty run of the mill if the Elhessare elders' tales were anything to go by, but he'd also mentioned so many other things at various times. Could he possibly be induced to re-tell his grandfather's tales? Those would have to reach back into times none of the Elhessare's tales touched upon. Surely that would hold some interest for the children?

As far as those very children were concerned right now, though, kittens were the most interesting thing in the universe. Apparently the Cat-of-War kittens had ventured out of their nest-box for the very first time and the construction workers at the clan-hold had taken holo-pictures that were making the rounds in the clan.

Jesse as the donor of the cats was one of the first to receive copies and as soon as the children found out they swarmed him begging to see them.

Oh well, why not?

Much to Jesse's surprise there were eight kittens which seemed a very large number for a species that was supposed to be very rare and surely had to be an apex predator. They all looked very round and fluffy with big round paws at the end of short, clumsy limbs and only the very first hints of fangs protruding from their tiny maws. All looked dark brown, the black stripes that ran from their noses to their tail-tips in the adult form and black boots not yet distinguishable in the pictures, though Jesse assumed they might be found in a close inspection of the original creature.

What surprised him was that they actually appeared to be different shades of brown one even so dark that he appeared to be black in the picture.

-There's the little one.- A four year old boy told the others pointing at the most reddish brown fluff-ball. -He's my favourite.-

-You won't get him.- A slightly older girl said. -They'll only offer them adults.-

-I'll get one.- Jenny declared. -Jean Claude said so and they're all his so he can do that.-

-If one chooses you.- The oldest boy present sneered at her. -You can't own a cat that doesn't choose you. So they're not really Jean Claudesz anyway.-

-Commander Jean Claude!- Jenny corrected him.

-Pah.- Made the boy. -Only just barely.-

Jesse decided that that merited a slap.

-It's a lot more than you're likely ever to be.- He informed the surprised offender. -Have some respect.-

-I'd like the biggest if I could have one.- A tiny girl declared.

-You can't.- Her older cousin jeered. -There aren't even enough to go around for all the dignitaries.-

-There'll be more once these grow up and have babies.- Jenny promised generously. -You'll get your chance someday.-

-Which one do you want?- The little boy asked Jesse.

-I'm not getting one either.- Jesse told him. -I'm not of the clan.-

-You got a right, though.- Jenny said. -You gave them to us when you could have kept the lot for your own clan, so you should have one to keep for yourself.-

-Why didn't you keep them for your clan anyway?- Someone asked.

-Cause his clan are rebels, stupid.- Someone else replied. -They don't deserve gifts and he can't well send them anything anyway. No mail ships to enemy worlds.-

-He could have kept them until after the war.-

-Then they'd be too old to choose, stupid.-

-Hold on a moment!- Jesse ordered. -Is his name 'stupid'? Because I thought he was called Tholz yesterday.-

-Course it's Tholz.- The girl who'd addressed him as stupid twice replied.

So Jesse slapped her as well.

-Then don't call him stupid. Seriously, your manners concerning names and forms of address are abysmal. One can get in a lot of trouble talking of one's officers or to one's teachers like that. ... Or insulting one's dorm-mates.-

-I'm a much better fighter than he is.- The girl declared with a shrug.

-You are now.- The oldest boy amended. -Cause you're bigger than he is and he's still baby-clumsy. You might not be when he hits his next growth spurt.-

-I'm four years older. He'll never catch up.-

-Will too, once you're all grown up. Boys grow taller than girls.- Another boy chimed in.

-And anyway he'll be a lot less clumsy after the next growth spurt.- The oldest boy insisted.

-Will I? Really? Promise?-

-Yep.- Promised the boy. -Next growth spurt is when your arms and legs grow all long. Then you can run faster and reach further and it'll be so much easier to land a blow. You'll see.-

Tholz looked quite pleased with himself at that.

-Tell us the story of how you got them again?- A little girl in the back asked.

-Oh yes, please do!- Several others started begging as well.

And so Jesse gave in and once again told the story of Jatt's misdeed. The poor boy was probably in for a rough time, both physically and emotionally next time he got home.

The first meeting of the birthday committee turned out to be quite boring. Jesse received a lot of hair donations, but Irstz warned him against starting to weave the bracelet this early.

-I'd give it at least another week to make sure you have everybody's hair before you start.- He advised. -There might well be people you haven't thought to invite, but that want to be included and then there are sure to be people off-world who can't come, but will send hair by mail or messenger.-

-True.- Jesse allowed. -Jensz and I went over all the people that won't be able to leave their posts yesterday. It's depressingly long. Jean Claude will be disappointed not to see them.-

-Jean Claude knows the importance of their tasks as well as you do.- Irstz returned almost sharply. -He will understand.-

Next they discussed where the ceremony was to be. The family gym seemed to be considered the most obvious choice, but was also deemed boring.

-Except that we've never had a birthday ceremony in it before.- Jensz argued.

-Yes, we did.- Irstz shot her down. -We, we had one twentieth and two necklaceings.-

-What if we do it at the clanhold?- Terzz suggested finally. -We don't need it to be all finished for that, do we? Any large room with a roof should do.-

-We'll also want to eat there if we do that.- Jensz warned. -We'd get too hungry on the way back if we eat here.-

-So we bring packed rations?- Jesse suggested.

-I want something better than a ration for a birthday celebration.- Soth, some kind of cousin on Jean Claude's mother's side of the family, complained.

-Fine.- Jesse said. -Then we bring packed cake. And have a picnic outside if the weather allows. I don't suppose there's anywhere we can pick our food straight from the trees, yet?-

-They're too young.- Irstz confirmed. -But some of the bushes are already carrying berries. It won't be enough to feed the whole party by itself, but picking our own crops for the first time will make the occasion special.-

-Well, then that's settled.- Jesse decided. -We'll just tell the cooks to pack something nice for us once we know for sure how many people will be going.-

He thought that that ought to conclude the meeting for the day, but unfortunately it turned out that the discussions had only just started. Now people insisted on planning the details of the ceremony which pretty much came down to arguing who would attack Jean Claude where and when.

-Are you quite sure we don't want to include any other sort of task?- Jesse dared to venture after about an hour of listening to people argue their claims to attack before others. -This sounds a lot more like an extra long and monotonous training session than a celebration. Shouldn't we do something ... funny or unusual to break the routine?-

-That is against warrior tradition.- Irstz declared categorically.

-Your part won't be fighting anyway.- Jensz assured him. -The gift-giver never joins the fighting so there's no need to worry about your foot.-

-If it's still too bad to walk far enough, we can carry you in first and put you in a chair.- Irstz promised. -We do already have some out there. There are people living there after all.-

-I'll be fine.- Jesse growled. -I just thought it would be more interesting to have some variety.-

-We could have an ambush in the dark when he enters.- Soth suggested. -And maybe some unusual weapons? Maces? Crossbows?-

-Whoa!- Jesse yelped. -Now that sounds decidedly unsafe. We don't want to injure anyone badly enough that they need medical treatment. If we have to transport them back home we can't complete the ceremony.-

-But what fun is it if we don't really try in the fights?- Soth protested.

-No, no, Commander Jesse is right.- Irstz intervened. -I've seen such incidents. They always ruin the rest of the ceremony even if it can be continued right away. We can have a sword-fight, though. That's an old fashioned weapon, too. And perhaps the bola-whip? Is anyone here sufficiently proficient with that?-

Jesse didn't even know what a bola-whip was and thought that he could probably have continued without that knowledge. He rather regretted having spoken.

And his dorm-mates and officers were all convinced that he'd want such a ceremony for his own birthday? It was very difficult to believe. Sure, he could get Jean Claude with his brutal upbringing not seeing anything wrong with this, but at least Razzle and Azpet had to be smarter than that. Neither of them had ever given Jesse the impression that he enjoyed needless pain.

Maybe he was getting the wrong impression here, though? These were all Elhessare after all. Maybe the other clans had very different traditions and no idea what the Elhessare got up to?

He needed to talk with Razzle, tell him what was going on here and ask for a thorough description of a ceremony in his clan.

Or maybe not. Razzle was known to include scientist traditions in the ceremonies he had to do with, after all. Maybe somebody else from a warrior clan was a better choice, Point or Gaspar if they came to the ceremony. Even Ramszet would have done if only he hadn't remained behind on the Warworld.

Were there any of his own officers recovering from wounds on Rukkat? Surely nobody would be surprised, if he declared that he wanted to test how his ability to walk was improving by an excursion within the capital and chose to make a visit to a fellow sufferer in another clan's town-house? They never needed to know what they'd talked about.

But what injured officers did he have and what were their clans?

When the meeting finally ended he went to the library and tried to access the list of his wounded there.

He couldn't.

The civilian library computer was unable to connect to the military network.

It wouldn't have surprised Jesse much if he hadn't known that it worked perfectly fine the other way around. On Yuma the military kept up an entirely separate network from the normal internet as well. The two networks couldn't even read each other's data if you copied them onto a disk and fed it to a computer of the other system. Here they clearly were connected, but the connection worked only one way.

Now what?

Istar must have a military computer available to him, though possibly only at the base, but could Jesse ask him to do him such a favour?

He didn't really want to and doubted that Istar would want to grant it. Maybe he could talk to one of Istar's staff members instead.

For now he went to find the elders again to continue his writing project. That, too, was a failure, though. The elders were too interested in the kitten pictures and nothing they said about their past experiences with pictures of cats seemed at all worth writing down. None of them had ever seen a real Cat-of-War before Jesse had sent them the injured mother-cat.

At least there wasn't much time left to kill before dinner and a casual mention of temple statues reminded Jesse that he'd been planning to research the Outrider gods. The library computer should be able to access religious information just fine and Jesse resolved to get a full list of all Outrider gods and what they stood for after the meal.

Of course, things never quite worked out as planned. The computer did indeed find religious files aplenty, but as far as Jesse could see there was no full overview list of all gods among them.

Well, he did know that there were 25 gods and what their names were. He'd just have to look for them one by one.

He started by writing all the syllable symbols in the Outrider alphabet down, then checked off the ones he already knew and set to work on the rest.

Thet was family it turned out. He should really have expected to find a god of family considering the tight bonds and love of children of Outriders. As his personal god however, Thet clearly was out. Jesse mostly liked his siblings, but he certainly wasn't a family man. On to the next candidate then.

Mar as in Marzze ... was the god of fire? Well, he supposed most polytheistic religions had a god of fire and it sounded aggressive enough to be chosen for a son one fondly hoped would be a great soldier.

Jesse spent a minute or so wondering whether a visit to Mar's temple might be expected to help with his nightmares, but then there was more ice than fire in those these days. Perhaps if he found a god of ice ...

Hzt, goddess of time? Had he ever heard of a god of time before? Not that time wasn't often quite important in war. Perhaps he should keep this one in mind, though he felt no particular connection with time. She didn't sound like an unpleasant customer in any case.

Par for safety, protection and home? Wait a moment, hadn't Razzle said something about Par once?

At a closer look Par seemed to be better suited to civilians, people who stayed at home and trusted in the army to keep them safe. This was probably the most common god for domestic staff, Jesse decided, cooks and cleaners that kept the clan-holds neat and their inhabitants fed probably valued safety and protection. For a Commander it would be a very embarrassing god to worship.

Lak was the god of ... night? Jesse lost almost half an hour looking for a god of day, but apparently there wasn't one. Just what the hell did they need a god of night for then?

What he did find in the process was Or, god of patience, though. Or as in Orat.

Well, Orat certainly could test one's patience with his long-winded speeches.

And then there was Kem, the god of Mystery.

-Well, I guess this one's for detectives.- Jesse decided drawing the attention of the librarian.

-What is?-

-Kem. He must be the favourite god of detectives, right?-

-Why would he be?- The man said obviously quite confused. -He's popular with artists and scientists. Not doctors, though. Those don't like him at all.-

-Artists?- That didn't make any sense, but then, perhaps religion wasn't supposed to. The scientists, though ... -Are Ark and Kem a pair?-

-Uh, what?-

-You know, a pair that needs to be in balance?-

-Mol has a thing for balance, I think.- The librarian suggested hopefully.

-No, no. Razzle told me there are some pairs of gods that always need to be in balance ... as in worshipped to an equal extent or there'll be some bad overreaction, I think. It'd make sense for scientists to want an equal measure of knowledge and mystery so they'd worship Ark and Kem, no?-

The librarian shrugged.

-I wouldn't know. Ark's the guardian of libraries, but I don't know anybody that's into Kem. You might ask Jensz, though. She's no Kem worshipper, but she's probably met some. What's Kem doing in one of your stories, though?-

-Nothing. I'm trying to pick a god for myself and none of them seem to suit me.-

-Well, certainly not Kem.- The librarian declared. -Take Zzr. He's the most powerful.-

-No, definitely not. I want something more positive.- Jesse tried to explain.

-Tar would suit you.-

This clearly was a more thought-through suggestion than the first, but it also showed that the word positive hadn't helped the librarian understand what he was looking for.

-No, I don't like him.-

-Itz is always a good choice for a soldier and you are the one that brought back our cats, so you must be blessed by him.-

-I guess he'd be better than Taz in any case.- Jesse allowed. -But it isn't quite what I was looking for.-

-Raz then, though you don't look the part.-

-No, more Mohawksz thing than mine, I'd say. Maybe I should just worship Nez in hopes that he guides me away from Tarsz influence.-

-Huh?-

Apparently that, too, was a strange concept to Outriders ... or maybe just the Elhessare. Or perhaps the librarian knew very little about religion. If he was a Zzr worshipper he might well just have chosen based on his Afrar's preferences without giving the matter much thought.

In fact, most Outriders probably did since they'd be exposed to their parents' religious preferences from early childhood. If he wanted an informed opinion he'd have to ask those Outriders most likely to think for themselves.

Back to Razzle, then. ... Though Point or Gaspar might have something worthwhile to say as well. Nemesis wasn't likely to bother to play religious advisor, but could he ask Nemo? Orat certainly wouldn't give him an answer.

But it might make a good distraction for Iktrz. The head psychologist did appear to be capable of viewing things from different perspectives and rather given to thorough thought in any case.

For now Jesse was tired, though, and so he gave up even though his list remained incomplete. It could wait until tomorrow while going to bed too late might lead to him waking up his dorm-mates and it was bad enough that he did that whenever he had a nightmare. He didn't need to add additional disturbances.

The small sitting room next to the library hardly ever seemed to be in use, which was why Jesse had chosen it to work on his tales in peace.

This time when he limped in he found Jenny curled up in the furthest chair in the corner nose buried in a book, however. She looked up and frowned at him, but then shrugged.

-Hi.- She said rather unenthusiastically.

If she'd been a Fleshling, Jesse would have assumed that she wanted to be alone, but Outriders didn't like that. Perhaps she was waiting for someone to join her?

-Hi.- Jesse returned. -What are you studying?-

-Nothing.- She said pushing the book behind her back. -I was just reading a bit. I have a headache, you see. Moving around and the noise of other kids playing always makes those worse. Sitting makes them go away fastest, but it's boring, so I read.-

-A good idea if you aren't straining your eyes too much.- Jesse said to reassure her that he didn't disapprove.

-Eh?-

-Straining your eyes is when it's hard to read because it's too dark in the room or the letters are very small. That can even give one a headache, so you should always choose books with large print and a well lit room when you already have one.-

That corner was actually the darkest in the room, though with the bright Rukkat morning sunshine flooding in through the window it couldn't really be called dark.

-That's weird.- Jenny said scrunching up her nose. -I thought dark makes the headaches better. It never makes mine worse.-

Dark made it better? Hold on, was Jenny suffering from migraines? Did Outriders suffer from migraines at all? Jesse couldn't remember any Outrider ever complaining about headaches to him before ... soldiers with head injuries excepted, of course.

Then again, he rarely spent a lot of time with people outside the army and people with such health problems might be rather a liability, so ... Oh, damnit!

-Do you get headaches often?- Jesse asked. -You sound so experienced.-

-Not really.- Jenny said. -That is, I didn't use to. Not unless I got a blow to the head in training. Only for a while now I've been getting them all the time. ... I mean, not all day long and not every day. Maybe every third day ... or second?-

Well, that didn't sound like migraines from what little Jesse knew about them. More likely it was an acute problem.

-Have you seen a doctor about it?- He asked.

-No, why would I? They're just headaches.-

-Well, if you suddenly get so many of them they might be due to some injury. Did you take a blow to the head before the first one? Maybe it did some damage that needs fixing.-

Jenny scrunched up her nose some more.

-No.- She said. -We didn't train that day. It was the day we left home and came here. Everything was very hectic and there was no time to train.-

-Are you sure it wasn't the day before or after that?-

-Yes. Auntie said we had to unpack everything that same day and I asked her to let me finish tomorrow because all the bending over my boxes made my headache worse and she said I must be over-tired from all the hectic packing and running around and loading and unloading boxes and never getting any rest to eat or drink properly. She told me to drink an extra big bowl of juice and then go straight to bed and I'd be fine in the morning. And I was, but then the day after it happened again. It's probably some phase, you know. Like when I was little I once had a growth spurt that made my knees hurt and last year when I bled for the first time it hurt a lot and I got all dizzy, but now my body has figured the bleeding out and it just hurts a tiny little bit. Maybe my head's growing because I'm about to go to the Academy now.-

-I don't think it's supposed to do that.- Jesse said trying to ignore the information on Outrider periods. He didn't need to know that, thank you very much. There were mothers and aunties to go to if girls required that information. Besides all his sisters had probably already passed that point. Cain was only a year younger than Jenny after all, and Jenny had said it had happened last year. -And in any case a doctor will be able to tell. Come on, we'll have it checked out.-

-But.- He could see her feeling for the book behind her back. -Walking around makes the headaches worse, especially going up and down stairs.-

-It's not comfortable for my foot either.- Jesse informed her. -But the doctor might need to see you when your head is actually hurting and he might have medicine to make it go away. Come on.-

Jenny frowned again, but did get up and take his hand. Somehow the book disappeared in the process.

-Alright.- She said.

Jesse felt a little silly leading a fourteen year old girl ... who already had periods ... by the hand, but nobody they passed seemed at all surprised. Jenny was still a child in their eyes and Jesse was a responsible adult. Perhaps they thought he'd caught her in some mischief and was taking her to a parent to be punished. Since Outrider children were punished by beatings and Jenny did already have periods surely the appropriate thing to do would be to take her to her mother, right?

He really needed to ask somebody's advice on the correct behaviour around adolescent girls. Jean Claude preferably, since he knew the most about Fleshling culture and would know what would seem unnatural to Jesse.

Thert wasn't in the emergency room when they arrived. Nor were any of his nurses. Of course, this wasn't a big busy hospital wing. There weren't even any patients other than Jenny here at the moment. Apparently everybody was well enough to walk around or at least rest in their own dorms.

-Well, this is awkward.- Jesse admitted. -How do you find the doctor in an emergency?-

-This way.- Jenny said pressing a little button by the window.

It started blinking and beeping.

-Ow.- She said. -Bad idea. It's a really bad sound for my headache and we really shouldn't have done it since it's not a real dangerous emergency. We should have gone looking for him.-

-You couldn't just have told me so?- Jesse asked a little annoyed.

Thert rushed in a moment later ... in his training clothes and with an ugly cut on his cheek and required an explanation and several apologies as well as somebody to bandage his wound before he could actually see to Jenny.

-It is rather strange.- He said once all that was taken care of. -But I suppose a head injury might behave like that if it keeps almost healing and then being disturbed again.-

A thorough examination of Jenny's head first from the outside, then by scan found nothing wrong, however.

-An illness then.- He decided. -Something your body can't quite beat back but is keeping mostly in check.-

-So you can medicate it away?- Jenny asked. -It is sort of annoying.-

-We'll see.- He replied, pulled out a dispenser bracelet and put it on her wrist.

Jesse flinched, but Jenny actually watched in fascination as her blood flowed into the tube.

The doctor affixed his scanner to it, drew a blood sample and disappeared through a side door.

-That's his lab.- Jenny explained to Jesse. -He does chemistry stuff in there just like Jensz. She does it better of course, or at least she knows more stuff one can do, but she says he knows better how to use it to make people better. Jensz mostly works on making people worse, she says. I'm not sure what she means by that, though.-

-Probably that she makes chemical weapons and he makes medicines.- Jesse interpreted.

It was quite a while before Thert returned.

-Well?- Jesse demanded impatiently only realising a moment too late that he really had no right to demand anything. He wasn't even a relative.

The doctor didn't seem to remember that fact, though.

-Nothing. There is nothing in her blood that shouldn't be there and nothing missing either. Everything that ought to be there is in the right amount.-

-So, what happens now?- Jesse asked a little worriedly.

-Now I check whether there's too much or too little blood in general ... but there isn't. ... Headaches ... headaches ... Best do a full body scan. Maybe some other part is damaged and the pain only appears to be in the head.-

This once again took quite a while and Jesse sat down on the bed next to the one Jenny was being scanned on. The girl was remarkably good at lying still considering her age.

-Does she seem a little lethargic to you?- He asked the doctor.

-Eh?-

-Well, don't children usually fidget during such a thorough exam?-

-Jenny isn't a toddler. She can understand that the exam will only take longer if she confuses the scanners by moving. Babies can't be told that, of course and toddlers don't understand. Older children, though ... well, sometimes they forget and need to be reminded, but by the time they get close to Academy age they usually know. ... But there is no injury to be seen anywhere, just old scars.-

-Could one of those be giving her trouble?- Jesse asked. -One occasionally hears of soldiers complaining that old injuries hurt them under certain weather conditions.-

-None of them are new enough that it would have started on ... Oh, but of course! Jenny, did you ever visit Rukkat before you moved here?-

-No.- Jenny replied. -The house wasn't ready so there would have been nowhere for me to sleep.-

-Then it could be a weather condition after all, or possibly an allergy to something in the air here, anything that doesn't occur on the Warworld. I'll need more blood.-

Jenny calmly held out her wrist again.

-Say, while you're at it.- Jesse interjected casually. -Could you take off my bracelet? I'm well enough not to need the pain medication anymore and I've been wearing it for so long it's probably getting unhygienic.-

-Sure. Just let me start the allergy test first.- Thert disappeared into his lab again, but this time returned after just a few minutes.

Jesse closed his eyes as he released the bracelet. There was a momentary twinge and then he felt the slight pressure around his wrist disappear.

He pulled the hand away and rubbed the wrist with his other hand.

-Just a moment.- Thert said. -I think I'd better put something on that. Looks like the bracelet really has been on there a little too long.-

Jesse regarded the two punctures in his wrist. The skin around them was a little red and puffy.

-I know you've had a lot worse in training and never thought twice about it.- Thert informed him. -But that's deeper than it seems and you don't want anything nasty to get into your blood. That takes a while to heal.-

He dripped some liquid onto both punctures and put a sort of elastic bandage over them.

-There.- He said. -You can take it off in the morning and then the wounds should look like normal bracelet marks. Come and show me again if they don't.-

Jesse decided not to tell him that he had no idea what normal bracelet marks actually looked like.

Thert disappeared into the lab again. This time for a little longer than on the last trip, but not nearly as long as the first.

-No allergy.- He announced when he returned. -That means it's probably the weather. Jenny, I need you to keep a list of the exact times your headaches start and end. Oh, and you'd best include when and what you eat and drink and when and how long you sleep as well. ... Just on the outside chance that it is some fruit, lack of sleep or liquid after all.-

-Lack of sleep?- Jesse asked quite surprised.

-It's a new unfamiliar dorm with new dorm-mates. Perhaps the location of her bed is unfortunate or one of her dorm-mates a noisy sleeper. I think we'll probably see a correlation with the weather pattern, though.-

-Can you medicate that away?- Jenny asked him.

-Well, no.- He admitted. -But if we know when to expect those weather conditions there might be ways to prepare, or we might find a place where they don't affect you so badly. Now be off and don't forget to keep that list. I'll ask you for it in a few days.-

Jenny left, still rather careful not to move too quickly, but Jesse remained behind.

-Will this affect her career?- He asked the doctor once he was sure the door had swished closed behind her.

The doctor frowned.

-That depends on how wide-spread the problem is.- He admitted. -I don't want to tell her yet, but there is a small chance that the problem might be specific to this city. In that case she'd have to apply for a change of unit if she should ever be stationed at the base here, but can work anywhere else just fine. Something similar applies if it's specific to this planet, though I'd recommend her to marry into an off-world clan, then. I ... You have younger brothers, don't you?-

-I .. yes, but I doubt ...-

-Well, she couldn't marry into an old blood clan and get off Rukkat at the same time, so she might just as well marry to strengthen our bond with your clan. Of course her Arfrare might disagree. It was just a thought.-

-She won't qualify as weapons master under the circumstances, though, will she?- Jesse asked. -I mean, even if she doesn't have to marry out of the clan.-

The doctor shook his head.

-No, but that position is sure to go to Jatt either way.- At Jesse's surprised look he continued. -They may talk about Jenny as an alternative candidate, but that's just to keep things uncertain officially. They don't want Jatt to get too sure of himself and stop working to prove himself, so they keep discussing the matter.-

-So Jean Claude really is entirely out of the running?-

It was only the head doctor's opinion, of course. He didn't have a say in the matter himself as far as Jesse knew and other clan members might see the situation very differently.

-Not for Afrar, though. In fact, I'm sure he'll be Afrar. They'd need some good reason to present for bringing in a nephew when there is a son and the arguments against him.- He shrugged. -Are negligible. Especially if we are to re-enforce our alliance with your clan.-

When Jesse returned to the small sitting room it was empty. Apparently Jenny hadn't returned to it.

He walked over to the chair she'd been sitting on and checked the upholstery, then peered under and felt behind it. There was nothing there, nor hidden in, behind or under the neighbouring chairs proving that Jenny had in fact returned long enough to retrieve her book.

Ah well, he didn't really need to know what she didn't want him to know she was reading. She could keep her privacy. As far as his upbringing was concerned fourteen was quite old enough to read whatever one wanted to anyway and if she hadn't had whatever the Outrider version of the birds and bees was yet the information was long overdue. 


	23. Chapter 22: Of Sitting, Flirting and Cou

Disclaimer 1: This is fanfic. That means I do not own any of it. I just borrow it to play with for a little while and let people see the pathetic results if they really want to.

Disclaimer 2: I'm not making any money from it. It's just for fun.

Disclaimer 3: What isn't borrowed is all made up. None of this is real or most likely at all realistic. Please don't trust any of the information in here. Most likely you know more about whatever I'm writing about than I do.

Disclaimer 4: Attitudes, views and opinions expressed by the characters or in the story are not necessarily those of the author. Even when writing Science Fiction or Fantasy I do not tend to attempt to create perfect/better worlds in which everybody gets a happy end ... or whatever is best for them. Please accept that some characters will have a bad ending or be unhappy.

Disclaimer 5: I intend no insult to anyone. If I offend anyone I'm very sorry. Please understand that it was an accident as I tend to be very clumsy in these things.

Chapter 22: Of Sitting, Flirting and Courting

Istar seemed quite grumpy at breakfast the next morning even though he had as usual slept though Jesse's nightmare.

Come to think of it, Jesse wasn't quite sure how that fit in with his profession and rank. At least he'd always heard that while a good soldier ought to be able to fall asleep anywhere and at any time he also ought to be a light sleeper, ready to jump up and fight at the first hint of an alarm. Just what would happen if a Commander slept through an attack on his troops?

Istar didn't leave him much time to ponder the question.

-You!- He barked as soon as he'd finished his first shotez. -Took MY daughter to be examined?-

Some people flinched, others stared at Istar, yet others at Jesse.

Jesse took a bite of his own shotez, chewed, swallowed.

-She complained of a headache and upon further inquiry said that she's been having those very frequently since arriving on this planet, yet hardly ever before that, and that she hadn't been examined or apparently told an adult before. To be honest, I thought it must be a head injury and one should get those treated as soon as possible. So I took her to be treated. It turned out it wasn't that urgent after all, but how was I to tell that before the exam? I'm no med officer.-

-If it didn't hurt enough that she'd seek medical treatment ...- Istar started.

-I beg your pardon, weapons master.- Thert cut in bravely. -But the amount of pain something causes is not always the best indicator of its level of danger and it wouldn't be the first time a child has naively aggravated a dangerous injury because they wanted to prove how tough they were. It is always better to have an injury checked and find it does not require treatment than to ignore it to find too late that it did.-

-Indi... what? Naively? Can't you scientists ever talk straight?- Istar demanded.

-Sign.- Irstz supplied. -And ... foolishly, I believe.-

-Out of lack of knowledge.- Jesse amended. -Because children are young and inexperienced. You probably know what a dangerous injury feels like, but you've had them before and seen many others receive them. Any battle injuries Jenny has seen must have already been fixed to a point they were healed enough to continue treatment at home. How could she tell what is dangerous?-

-If it didn't hurt enough.- Istar started again.

-I just told you: That's no ind... sign you can rely on.- The head doctor repeated more simply.

-Istar.- Irozz asked. -Why don't you want Jenny's headaches examined?-

-They might exclude her from becoming a soldier.- Istar hissed.

For just a moment Irozz looked stricken, then he had himself under control again.

-We aren't sure of that yet.- Thert stated. -It might just as well be nothing to worry about.-

-Not having her examined now wouldn't have changed anything.- Jesse pointed out. -The problem would only have come to light at a later point with more time wasted.-

-Time wasted?- Irozz asked him. -How would it be wasting time?-

-Well, for one thing.- Jesse said very carefully. -It might be that the headaches can be cured but require long treatment. In that case it should be started as soon as possible so Jenny is ready to start by the beginning of the next Academy year. On the other hand, if she is indeed unable to serve in the army any training at the Warrior Academy would be useless to her. So rather than let her start an education she can never put to use she ought to be sent to the Science Academy next year. If she were to complete her training and then be barred from serving, she'd be much too old to start there.-

-Jenny is not to be a scientist!- Istar roared drawing looks from the other tables now.

-Then what do you intend to do with her if she can't be a soldier?- Irstz asked him. -You wouldn't want her to end in the chambers, would you?-

-I thought they're unpacking all the vapour chambers?- Jesse asked. -Why would they put any more people in now that there is a world for them to live on?-

-True.- Irstz admitted. -It has just been the fate of the useless for so long ...-

-And Jenny must do something.- Irozz agreed. -Commander Jesse is quite right that the Science Academy would be the obvious choice. It is not unheard of ... in fact, Jensz went there and you hardly made a protest. Let Jenny follow in her sister's footsteps rather than be useless.-

-We do not know that it has to be, yet.- Thert repeated firmly. -I need time to observe to diagnose her problem and luckily both Academies are currently closed anyway. We will probably have plenty of time to make sure and discuss the consequences before they reopen.-

-Then there is no need to discuss this now.- Irozz declared silencing all further discussion, though not stopping Istar's glares at Jesse.

Jesse returned them outwardly calmly, but was worried enough that he sought out Irstz alone afterwards.

-Just a moment of your time?-

-If this is about Jean Claudesz ceremony ...- Irstz started.

-It isn't. It's about taking Jenny to the doctor.- Jesse explained hastily.

This apparently surprised Irstz.

-What about it?- He asked.

-Was I out of line to do it? I've never done anything like it before and don't know what's customary. I just ... I have my responsibility to your children and it could have been urgent.-

-There is always a risk in touching somebody else's children, but also in not touching them when it is necessary.- Irstz replied with a shrug. -We all protect our children and are likely to get angry if someone does something to them that we wouldn't have ... or the result isn't what we wanted it to be. The risk is higher with Istarsz children because ... well, most angry parents aren't likely to break your bones because their child is sick. If it had been a dangerous injury and Jenny had died of it, Istar would probably have broken your neck. Considering that I say you did well enough, though next time you might consider informing the closest available family member of the child first. If Athte had taken her daughter to the doctor at your suggestion, well, that would have been between Athte and Istar.-

-And would he be likely to break her neck then?- Jesse asked a little concerned.

-Unlikely. Athte, too, is a Cat-of-War.- Irstz decided after a moment's pause for thought.

-He'd be less likely to kill one of his own elites?- Rather than less likely to want to hurt his own wife for taking care of the kids?

-We're harder to kill.- Irstz explained. -We know his moves and how to counter them. If he got angry enough to attempt to kill her Athte would be sure to get a thorough thrashing, but she'd fight back hard and long enough for him to back off before completing the deed.-

-Wonderful.- Jesse commented. -What does happen to an Outrider who kills his wife?-

-In Istarsz case we'd probably pass it off as a training accident.- Irstz said as if he'd actually thought it through before.

-You have plans in place for such an event?-

-No, but we've had fatal punishment accidents before. And of course training accidents aren't that rare a thing with Istar. Nobody would doubt it.-

-I heard a rumour that he killed one of his own children in training once ... not that I actually thought it credible.-

-Quite right. It was his sister, not one of his children.- Irstz confirmed. -She was the baby of the family, born a full fifteen years after me and only twelve years old when our Afrar was killed and Istar became weapons master. He ... Afrarsz death was unexpected and we hadn't had much practical experience in training children yet. Ikte looked almost as good as an Academy aged kid when fighting in her own weight class and it never occurred to Istar that her body might still be too frail to handle the full weight of an adult slamming down on her. ... Quite a tragedy. She'd have made a fine role model and mentor for Jensz and Jenny.-

-I'm sorry.- Jesse said assuming that that must be the polite thing to do. -It must have been very painful to you all.-

-Losing a relative is always painful.- Irstz confirmed. -But it happened a long time ago.-

-So ... You think Istar would be able to talk about it now?- Jesse couldn't help asking.

-Probably. He never does, but as I said it did happen a long time ago so why should he?-

-I just ... Well, he killed a child by accident. I ... well, I killed many and maybe that makes a difference, but I thought maybe after he calms down about the Jenny incident I might ask him when it stops ... haunting one.-

-You've been punished.- Irstz pointed out unnecessarily. -And you never meant to do it. It's past.-

-No, it isn't. Not in my mind, not in my nightmares.-

-Your nightmares?- Apparently that made no sense to Irstz.

-In quite a lot of them I see children I know died in the battle of Yuma.- Jesse explained. -Usually they're burning or ask me why I did it and I can never save them.-

-They're just dreams.- Irstz pointed out. -The real children are long gone. Of course you can't save them.-

-No.- Jesse agreed. -But if I could do it in the dreams, maybe I wouldn't wake up screaming. I'd save the children ... symbolically, I guess?-

Irstz frowned.

-Maybe you should ask Iktrz that.- He suggested. -Or a priest of Aaz. They're big on symbols ... Kie and Kem, too, I think. I just know the symbols I need for my ceremonies.-

-Aaz, Kie and Kem?- Jesse asked. Prophecy, art and mystery. Well, yes, it made sense, he guessed, though probably not in the way he'd meant it.

-I know very little about any of them. They're not soldiers' gods and have no tradition in our clan. You might want to talk to ... well, people from common colony clans, I suppose. They definitely have more priests and artists than we do here.-

-And they are currently out of reach and likely to stay so for a while.- Jesse reminded him. -I don't suppose they're going to unpack any artists anytime soon.-

-I think some of the people doing the construction work are actually sculptors.- Irstz offered. -They didn't have that many masons stored away. Not that I know any.-

-Right. There are temples here, though, right? Temples ought to come with priests.-

-Not yet. They've planned temples, but are building clan-holds first. The priests of the local clans are still on the Warworld tending the temples there.-

-Well, then I either have to look them up on my way back to the front or go back to Razzle.-

-Razzle?-

-He's quite knowledgeable about religion.- Jesse explained. -And his daughter was called Kiervie. Surely he wouldn't dedicate his child without knowing anything about the god he was dedicating her to. Not Razzle. Never.-

Irstz looked surprised, thought about it and then nodded.

-True.- He decided. -That was a very strange choice, though. Not that Razzle hasn't always been a bit strange. He likes to confuse people, I suppose.-

-Do you know him well?- Jesse asked with a touch of curiosity.

-Not really.- Irstz returned however. -That is I know a lot of him, but don't really know him. Istar's the one of us that knows him best. And Jean Claude, of course, but Jean Claude would hardly be able to tell you anything about him you don't already know.-

-And he and Istar don't actually get along.-

-They used to better before Istar retired.- Irstz said. -And Razzle not wanting Istar for dorm elder again is hardly a demonstration of intense dislike. He never was a particularly good one.-

-Razzle doesn't like Istar.- Jesse stated. -He outright told me so. Apparently Istar was very mean to him at the Academy and they never got over that despite being dorm-mates for so many years.-

-Istar always thought Razzle strange. He had weird interests at the Academy. Used to hang around the Science Academy whenever he wasn't in class and ... Well, according to Istar about once a week he'd show up in the headmaster's office and ask to take an extra class ... One for scientists, mind you. ... He'd get told no, but return the next week with a different class just as unsuitable as the last.-

-Really?-

-I don't think so. I can't imagine how Istar would have found out if it were true. He couldn't have been in the headmaster's office with them so how'd he know what they talked about? And it's also not likely that he happened to be waiting outside the office every week. On the other hand it sounds like the sort of prank Science Academy students got up to. Maybe they put Razzle up to it. Maybe he did it on a dare. Or maybe he did go up there to ask for an additional class and got turned down once or twice, told somebody about it and it got exaggerated in the re-telling. Sometimes the Academy is like the army after a battle. Have you heard all the rumours flying around about the attack on the Warworld?-

-Yes.- Jesse sighed. -Including the one according to which the entire rebel army spontaneously exploded. I'm not used to being this out of the loop.-

-Istar should have the most important facts by now.- Irstz admitted. -I wonder why he hasn't told us yet.-

Jesse spent most of the morning with the elders again, then checked up on the children. Quite a number of them were in the garden acting out their own version of the attack on the Warworld ... the Warworld being represented by a terrace. The babies were in their crib-dorm, most fast asleep, while next doors the toddlers were quite active playing with their baby toys.

A lot of this playing involved hitting each other with the toys, but it didn't seem to worry Ethene who was watching them fondly while rocking a sleepy little girl in her lap.

Ah well.

Some about Academy aged children were actually reading in the library while others were playing arbhes and some other board game that Jesse didn't recognise. Jenny wasn't with either group.

He finally found her in one of the younger boys' dorms where she and two of the boys were playing with stuffed toys while the rest of the boys were lining up model renegades for a battle that hopefully wasn't supposed to have anything to do with the Warworld.

-Aren't you a little old to enter boys' dorms?- Jesse asked her.

-Why? They're just little boys.- Jenny returned unimpressed. -I don't go into Academy aged boys' dorms without asking first. And I was asked here anyway.-

-Jenny's got the best animals.- One of her playmates explained. -And she won't pass them on.-

-I still like to play with them.- Jenny told him. -I'll pass them on when I get bored of them.-

-We'll be too old to get them by then.- The other playmate complained.

-You're too old now.- Jenny informed him. -I'll give them to a little kid that doesn't have any stuffed toys yet. Someone who's just outgrown putting them in his mouth. He'll enjoy them for many years, then.-

-No headache today?- Jesse asked her not interested in the disposal of old toys.

-No, none at all. I feel great.-

Well, that was nice to hear.

Jesse moved on to find the oldest girls. They were talking and giggling on a balcony, but shut up hastily when they saw him, the youngest two blushing greenish-purple.

-Oooh, do join us!- One of the older girls cooed shoving the girl beside her out of her chair to offer it to Jesse.

-Is that any way to treat your dorm-mate?- Jesse chided.

-No, no, it's fine.- The unseated girl assured him hastily. -Do sit down. I'm fine. I mean, I don't have a bad leg, you see.-

-Yes, please, won't you sit down and ... and show us the kitten pictures again.- Another girl added.

-You can share this bench with us.- Yet another suggested. -Then Ztenna doesn't have to give up her chair.-

-No way.- Ztenna declared. -You don't want to sit next to her. She's a commoner!-

-So what?- Jesse asked her. -What difference does that make?-

Had these girls eaten some spoiled fruits or something? In this heat he could well imagine that refreshments left out in the sun too long might start fermenting and despite the high tolerance adult Outriders seemed to have for alcohol the children probably weren't used to it.

-You'd seriously consider marrying a commoner?- Another girl gasped.

The youngest squealed. Some others giggled.

-Marrying?- Jesse echoed. -Who's talking about marrying? I thought we were talking about sitting.-

-Oh but, that's how one gets to know one's future husband ... or wife.- The oldest declared. -One sits and talks.-

-I don't know what books you have been reading.- Jesse decided. -But if they said that Commanders flirt with children not out of the Academy yet, they aren't reliable resources. If you want a flirt, I suggest you turn to your classmates, not me. ... And make sure your trousers stay on at all times.-

-Eh?- Made the youngest girl.

-You.- Jesse told her sharply. -Are way too young to even think of doing anything with a boy that involves taking off any clothes at all. Got that?-

She nodded still looking confused. The older ones were helpless with laughter by now.

-And as for kitten pictures, I believe you all have your own copies by now and you can look at those all you like ... after lunch.-

The girls still were quite excited to be allowed to accompany him into the dining hall and Jesse decided that he was quite lucky to have his crutches for an excuse not to take anyone's arm on the way.

-Well, that's quite an exciting escort.- Maktez commented when Jesse sat down at the table.

-Giggly more than exciting.- Jesse corrected. -I have no idea what got into them, but they can't stop laughing. Maybe you should have a look at them, Thert.-

The head doctor shook his head.

-I fear there is no medicine against puberty.- He declared. -Well, actually, I could give them hormones to stop it, but it would be quite unhealthy and we do want them able to have children when they grow up.-

-I take it you're not interested in any of them, then?- Irozz asked Jesse.

-In schoolgirls?- Jesse stared at him. -Please!-

-Technically they aren't much younger than you.- Irstz pointed out.

-Fleshlings mature faster.- Thert told him. -They usually start breeding at fifteen.-

-They are adults at fifteen.- Jesse corrected. -Most don't have children right away, though, much like your twenty year olds.-

-My point.- Thert said. -Was that they will hardly talk or act in a way to interest a half-Fleshling even if they are chronologically the right age. A girl near the end of officer's training would probably be much more congenial.-

-Please.- Jesse snorted. -I have no use for girls. I've had women with proper experience. And I'm not looking for a wife, so leave the good little girls at home.-

-You will want one eventually.- Irozz pointed out. -And with this civil war on you might find your choices more limited than you should. Most old blood clans will hesitate to give one of their nobles to a man without a clan-hold to house her and her children and a commoner would be beneath you.-

-Well, I certainly don't want her now and you wouldn't want me to play with your children's feelings. I definitely don't want to. I'll tell you if that should ever change.- Jesse promised. -Though ...-

-Though?- Irstz prompted when Jesse didn't continue.

-None of your girls are quite the type I usually fall for.- Jesse admitted. -Sure, some are quite pretty, but they don't prompt any strong desire in me as I expect one's wife should.-

-That depends entirely on what reasons one marries for.- Irstz said. -Though it does help one stay faithful ... which might indeed be an important consideration considering your lineage.-

-Are there any girls that do prompt such desires in you, then?- Irozz asked. -Ones I might know, I mean.-

-Not actually girls ...-Jesse started, but remembering the unusual reactions he'd gotten to mentioning Rissa's name in the past thought better of his answer and hastily changed his sentence. -That you're likely to know, but I suppose you would have seen Razzlesz daughter Kiervie sometime?-

-Why of course.- Irozz replied. -I didn't think you knew her, though.-

-I never met her.- Jesse confirmed. -But Razzle has a picture of her in his office and based on my romantic history so far I'd probably have fallen hard if I'd ever had the chance.-

Irozz didn't seem to like that answer.

-That one sure took after her Afrar a lot.- Thert remarked. -Very much the Lareth type. Perhaps you'd do well to ask Razzle to introduce you to his cousin-daughters. There should be something in that line among those.-

That was an interesting ... and possibly dangerous thought.

-Just how posh a clan is Lareth?- Jesse asked. -I mean, I know they're old blood and Razzlesz position and fame certainly don't harm their reputation never mind the circumstances of his birth, but how far above my head would I be aiming in wooing a noble born Lareth?-

-Pah.- Made Istar. -Filthy sluts.-

-With Razzlasz cousin-daughters? Every bit as far as with the most high-born of the girls you just scorned.- Irstz declared firmly. -We may not like to speak well of Lareth ... but that is possibly the best indicator of just how close to us they are in standing. Lareth is one of the oldest elector clans, in fact, if I remember my ancient history correctly, it was the last royal house to join the union. Not native to Hizzrk, but to Alkret, though ... but in the end all green skinned Outriders have Alkret blood. You won't get around that, if that's what appeals to you.-

-Very much so.- Jesse confirmed. -But where in the universe are Hizzrk and Alkret and what difference does it make?-

Irozz laughed at that.

-They were continents on the homeworld.- He explained. -Hizzrk was the seat of His Nastiness and the place of origin of our culture while Alkret was much less civilised. But that was a very long time ago. The Larethe of today are no less civilised than us and would not thank you if you reminded them of their distant ancestors' shortcomings.-

-If they even were that uncivilised at all.- Irstz took over again. -Considering how many concessions the union made to them in its early days I'm inclined to suspect that they were more a different culture with different views on what exactly constitutes civilised behaviour rather than actually primitive. Either way, though, the Larethe are electors and of royal blood. Their history is every bit as long and proud as ours and even if Razzle hadn't redeemed his line quite well his cousin children are free of the blood taint that you might have claimed devalued Kiervie's lineage. I wouldn't count on being able to convince Afrar Thek of your worthiness to marry one of those.-

-They should have plenty of commoners of Alkret blood, though.- Istar added surprisingly kindly. -And those ought to be happy enough to drop their trousers for a Commander even without a prospect of marriage. So if you're looking for some pretty entertainment right now, find an excuse to stop by the Lareth town-house and have a look around.-

-That is not what I had in mind!- Irozz snapped.

-Ah, but it is very much what Jesse has in mind.- Irstz told him.

-It would be, if I could drive.- Jesse amended.

-We can lend you a car and a driver.- Irozz offered despite his earlier dismay.

-And just what would I do about the driver once I have the woman in the car?- Jesse asked him. -I'm not into threesomes. ... On the other hand, a drive through town would be rather nice. I do want to get to know our new capital and right now I have the time on my hands.-

-I'll see to it.- Irozz promised. -I expect you'll want the driver to point out all the noble houses and buildings of note?-

-Yes, of course. It would be nice if he were old enough to tell me a bit about the individual houses. There are some of which I know nothing more than the faces of their Afrare and those only from council sessions.-

-Yes, some of them do appear to attend those only for decorative purposes.- Irozz agreed. -Of course those also are the very ones about whom there is the least to tell. You might have to settle for old gossip. Anything else you particularly want to see?-

-No ... I ... Well.- Jesse hesitated. -Not quite a site in town, but ... I was told it wouldn't be inappropriate for me to visit your ancestral hall? As a gesture of respect to the children that died ... If you aren't comfortable with it, though, please forget I asked. I ... have no experience with ancestral halls. I'm just acting on advice I've been given.-

-Iktrzsz advice?- Irstz asked.

Jesse winced, but decided to be honest. -Razzlesz.-

-Razzle thinks to advise you on our dead children?- Irozz demanded sharply.

-Not directly, no.- Jesse explained hastily. -He thought fit to advise me on funeral customs when we had occasion to attend one and of course that included taking the diamond to the ancestral hall and that one might pay respect there if one didn't get to attend the funeral. That gave me the idea and I asked whether it would be appropriate.-

-It's really something you want to do?- Irozz demanded. -Not just what Razzle said you ought?-

Jesse nodded.

-I'm not sure how ... I've never been to an ancestral hall before. My Afrar forgot to show me ours during my two short visits and we were not on friendly enough terms with the Uthene and I was able to attend Cirkesz funeral anyway. Your children meant a lot more to me than she did, though, and I never got the chance. If there is some way that the ancestral hall can ...- Could what exactly? He didn't really know.

-You realise that the children aren't actually there, right?- Thert asked to his surprise. -Anything you can do in there is only for yourself. Some people find it helps their grief for a lost one, others don't.-

-Why of course they aren't.- Istar snapped. -Where'd you get that ridiculous idea?-

-Psychology courses at the Academy.- Thert replied readily enough. -Sometimes a mourner not yet ready to let go of his memories takes it into his head that the diamond is the actual person. They can go mad talking to the stupid stones if allowed to get at them at will.-

All three brothers laughed.

-It's not quite that absurd.- Jesse admitted noticing Thert's embarrassment and remembering how he'd spoken up for him when Istar had been so furious about Jenny. -Many Fleshling religions do say that the dead can still hear us and watch over us and thus Fleshlings do talk to them at their graves. That's not what I mean to do, though. I ... didn't see the bodies burned and I still dream of those children and try to save them. I ... perhaps taking leave of their diamonds will convince my dreams that they are dead.-

-You think that'll cure your nightmares?- Irstz asked apparently quite surprised.

-Probably not.- Jesse replied. -There are a lot of other elements in those dreams, but perhaps it could reduce them. If you don't see any harm in me visiting your ancestral hall I don't see how it could make anything worse.-

-I'd like to go in with you.- Thert said. -Just to be sure.-

Jesse nodded.

-I never expected to be left alone in there.- He agreed.

-The hall isn't here, though.- Irozz stated. -It's in the clan-hold and you said you didn't feel up to the trip, yet.-

That came as a surprise to Jesse, though in hindsight it really shouldn't have.

-I should probably test my foot around town first.- He agreed. -But I will have to visit the place before Jean Claudesz birthday in any case. We mean to have the ceremony there. Perhaps Thert could come along. I do want to set up a first aid station on the day anyway. A place to bind any injuries that might occur in the fights so the unlucky participants won't have to be taken all the way back here and miss the rest of the ceremony.-

-A what?- Istar thundered.

-That is a very ... unusual idea.- Irozz remarked.

-Not so.- Irstz countered. -Normally you would have the ceremony in or near a fully inhabited house or base with a functional med bay close enough that no first aid would be required. With no doctor at the house and the med bay unequipped, though, bringing in some basic supplies and a doctor for the day seems like a worthwhile precaution not to spoil the ceremony.-

-Nobody is talking about setting up a hospital.- Jesse assured Istar. -And a med officer or nurse will do just fine. I merely suggested to bother Thert himself with the matter because he apparently wants to come anyway to accompany me to the ancestral hall. It gives him more to do on what I expect will be a long trip and will spare us taking along some other medical expert.-

-Except that if he is the one that sets up the first aid station, he will also have to be the one to run it.- Irozz pointed out.

-Hardly.- Thert said. -I'd pick the place, bring the equipment and set it up in a way that it is all ready to be seen and used by any other doctor ... or med officer or even nurse. You can then bring in whoever can most readily be spared on the day and just point them at the room.-

-Just use the actual med bay.- Athe suggested quite unexpectedly. -It's already there and needs the equipment anyway. Not to mention that somebody should be out there to tend to the workers in case of work accidents. Construction work does require heavy equipment, doesn't it?-

Istar's wife was usually so quiet during their mealtime discussions that Jesse had assumed that she didn't even pay any attention to them.

-It does.- Jesse confirmed. -And it also seems strange that nobody has hit himself on the thumb with a tool or tripped over a brick, yet. Construction work as I know it isn't very orderly so accidents will happen.-

-I suppose the workers brought a first aid kit or something.- Thert said. -They did send in a woman with a broken leg once. Slipped off a ladder while constructing a wall, I believe.-

-Well, there you have it.- Athe said. -The clanhold already needs its med bay.-

-Very well.- Irozz said. -Pick someone to run it and prepare the equipment they should have and you can set it up when Jesse goes to prepare Jean Claudesz ceremony. Just make sure they also have some place to sleep.-

-The construction workers are living there.- Athe pointed out. -Of course they must have dorms.-

-Didn't you arrange that for them?- Jesse asked Irozz somewhat surprised.

-Why no.- Irozz replied.

-But ... they are of your clan and working for your clan on your clan's land, aren't they?- Jesse asked. -Wouldn't it be your business to make or at least oversee those arrangements?-

-Why no.- Irozz returned equally surprised. -Commoners are the business of the master of servants.-

-Without you even signing off his orders?-

-The master of servants does inform the Afrar in case of unusual decisions, of course.- Irstz interjected. -And I suppose one could make a case for such a large building project being unusual, but we aren't treating it as such. What with having to move the entire clan Afrar Irozz has more than enough additional work on his hands at the moment.-

Jesse nodded.

-That makes sense. And I suppose you know and trust your master of servants despite the importance of the project.-

-Indeed. And I did of course see and approve the plan of the house.- Irozz explained. -The details of how the work is performed and what is required for it, however, would go much too far. We've done this once before with this town-house so our commoners know what they are doing.-

Jesse had only just escaped from the day's planning session and re-joined the elders when a wide eyed servant burst onto the terrace and stopped in front of him panting heavily.

-Co ... Comm ... ander. A ... visi ... tor.- He gasped.

-A visitor?- Jesse repeated nonplussed. -For me?-

The servant nodded and gasped for breath.

-Somebody important?- Jesse guessed considering the man's state. -Or impatient?-

The servant shook his head emphatically at both suggestions, though.

-Some ... body un ... welcome, Com ... mander.- He explained. -Afrar Ir ... ozz ... would not ... want ... him ... in the ... house.-

-So you left him waiting outside on the doorstep?- Jesse sincerely hoped that whoever it was was of a phlegmatic temper.

-Yes. And we want him ... to go away ... soon.-

-Right.- Jesse said and fished for his crutches. -Unfortunately I'm not very mobile. You'd probably have gotten rid of him more quickly if you'd let him in after all.-

Still, he limped to the door as the servants wished. It was standing open and the door guards, several servants and a number of Academy aged Cats-Of-War were standing there staring at an Outrider man - which Jesse could only be sure of by the fact that he wore a wristband since he looked quite awfully young - in civilian clothes.

He wasn't anyone Jesse remembered ever having seen before, nor did he look at all threatening or impressive ... or even armed.

The crowd let Jesse pass through unhindered so he assumed they also didn't really consider him a threat. What the hell could be so offensive about the young man that they were making such a fuss then?

-You wanted to see me?- Jesse said stopping in the door.

-You are Commander Jesse?- The visitor asked in a perfectly neutral tone.

At least he was taking this treatment in stride, or at least able to control his reaction to it enough to give the appearance of taking it in stride.

-I take it we haven't met before?- Jesse returned nodding to confirm his identity.

-No. I am Helkret.- The stranger revealed willingly enough. -Razzlesz son.-

-Razzlesz?- But Razzle's daughter had been Kiervie, so shouldn't his children be a Kie- or at least K- line? But a moment later it came to Jesse. -Oh, of course. You must mean adopted son.-

Helkret winced proving that he wasn't entirely impervious to every indignity.

-Foster son, actually.- He admitted. -But it makes no difference. I am merely here as Afafsz messenger. He sends his regrets that he will not be able to attend Commander Jean Claudesz birthday celebration as he had hoped to, but hopes that you will see fit to use his hair anyway and to pass on his congratulations to the Commander.-

He held out a small capsule that had to contain the mentioned hair and Jesse took it automatically.

-Why, of course I will.- He replied with a smile.

But Helkret shook his head.

-I see nothing of course about it.- He stated not returning the smile. -Nor any point in this mission, but that is between you and Afaf. I am merely the messenger.-

He turned and started to walk away.

-Wait.- Jesse said. -What do you mean? What's supposed to be between me and Razzle? I thought this was about Jean Claude?-

But Helkret simply walked on without a backward glance.

-What the?-

-Never mind.- Kervo, the oldest Cat-of-War present, told him. -He's just street trash. All of Commander Razzlesz foster children are. No idea why he forced them onto his clan, but he has an odd bent that way.-

-Well, someone's got to do it.- The guard on Jesse's right opined. -And he's good at keeping that sort of trash in line, I guess. And who knows what he's getting in return for taking them off social services' hands. Maybe it's worth it.-

Ah yes, Razzle rescuer of abused street children. Jesse had almost forgotten about that facet of his dorm elder's confusing personality. For a moment he stood there looking after Helkret and wondering what the young man had been through, but then shrugged it off and returned into the house. That was between Helkret and Razzle, he decided. As far as he was concerned he had Razzle's hair for Jean Claude's wristband and that was all that mattered. It probably meant a lot to Jean Claude in any case.

The news of Helkret's visit had of course reached Irozz by the time Jesse arrived at dinner and he was indeed anything but happy about it.

-He never entered the house.- Jesse assured the Afrar. -Nor did he seem at all interested. All he wanted to do was hand over that strand of hair and get back to his own business.-

-Who did? Whose hair?- Istar demanded having only just arrived at the table in time to hear that reply ... and that still in his battle armour.

-Helkret.- Jesse replied. -Razzlesz. Has there been another battle?-

-No, but we finally got some official details of the last one.- Istar allowed. -Razzlesz hair? Not for my son, surely?-

-Of course for your son. How many people do you think I'm making wristbands for?- Jesse wondered. -So, what actually happened?-

-What fucking business does Razzle have with Jean Claude?- Istar demanded.

-He's his dormmate?- Jesse asked honestly surprised by Istar's vehemence. -Isn't that enough? I even got some from Gaspar, and he certainly never gave me the impression he had any particular preference for Jean Claude. But when he learned he wouldn't be able to attend the ceremony he insisted on giving me that hair straight away.-

There, hopefully that would put an end to any suspicions Istar might have had about his son's relationship with Gaspar.

-Commander Gaspar may do whatever he likes.- Istar informed him. -But Razzle should keep his filthy bastard paws off my children. We are not friends and never have been.-

-You and Razzle may not be.- Irstz intervened. -But I suppose Razzle feels differently about Jean Claude. I did note that he denied you his dorm, but welcomed him readily enough.-

-That was for my sake.- Jesse admitted before thinking the statement through. -Well, and because he didn't want to hand over leadership of the dorm.- He amended hastily. -We are a rather tricky combination of personalities and any outsider coming in would need a while to get the hang of keeping things peaceful.-

-For your sake?- Irozz demanded sharply.

-I was unwell at the time and Razzle thought infighting in the dorm would do me further harm. He wanted me to have a quiet place to rest and recover, no fighting and shouting.-

-He could have said so.- Istar growled.

-He could.- Jesse agreed. -But like you said, you are not friends. He enjoys pushing people's buttons. You shouldn't interpret too much into that. The best way to deal with it is to ignore it. Don't give him a reaction and it'll stop amusing him.-

-That.- Irstz said. -Is interesting advice. Where did you get it?-

-Nowhere really.- Jesse said at first. -I just noticed Gattler doing it ... That is, actually, Nemesis did say something to that effect when he sent us to Arthame. I was already wise to the trick by then, though.-

-He never told me.- Istar said sounding almost hurt.

-Ah, but you bait Razzle just as much as he baits you.- Irstz said. -Nemesis knows you enjoy fighting, so how's he to know you aren't playing Razzlesz game of your own free will?-

-You know Razzle well.- Irozz stated regarding Jesse thoughtfully. -Better than Istar or Jean Claude, though they have known him longer.-

-The Fleshling Academy has a subject on how to understand people.- Jesse explained. -I believe yours only teaches a little of that in the med speciality courses and then it would focus on people with damaged minds. The lessons I had were meant to help me predict enemy actions, but also improve cooperation with my fellow soldiers. Razzle is more complicated than anything we learned, but ... at least I know where to start figuring someone out.-

-So you figured Razzle out, then?- Irstz asked.

Jesse laughed. -Hardly. But I can predict some of his reactions by now, and I know how to rub along with him tolerably well most of the time. It doesn't hurt that he basically likes me, though. He doesn't like Istar.-

-And why exactly not?- Irozz asked.

-We are a rival house.- Irstz interjected.

-But that would apply to Jean Claude as well. Or to Point, or Gaspar. He seems to like those three well enough.- Irozz insisted.

-From what I've heard.- Jesse explained. -Istar was pretty mean to him at the Academy. In fact, he once told me the only person he liked less was Amiss.-

-That doesn't make sense.- Istar said. -Amiss never hurt him as much. He wasn't a Cat-Of-War and only a year ahead of Razzle in training. And Razzle was damn good for an unprepared kid. Got to give him that. He had more talent than Amiss and the older he got the more often I had to pull him off my friend.- He grinned. -Ah, those were good times.-

-Well, Razzle remembers them as bad times.- Jesse explained. -And that largely because of you. But what about the battle news? Those are much more relevant than your minor troubles with Razzle.-

Istar sighed clearly not interested in his own news.

-Indeed.- Irozz said. -What is our situation?-

-Worse than we thought.- Istar admitted. -The attack on Szurat has been abandoned and the troops added to the space line which has been drawn further in on the Warworld to present a tighter front to any further attempts to break it. As far as I know the attack on Venthe is still continuing.-

-That's not a big change.- Jesse stated. -But what of the Warworld itself?-

-Not a big change?- Irstz protested. -We've given up on taking an entire planet.-

-As was the plan from the start. The attack on Szurat was a feint to draw defenders away from Venthe which produces ammunition that we need more urgently.- Jesse explained. -I got that from Gaspar who was in all the strategy meetings. Plus Jean Claude was commanding that attack alone, which, I assure you, Nemesis would not have wanted him to do at this point if he'd been serious about the move.-

-And why the fuck not?- Istar demanded angrily.

-Because, the fuck.- Jesse returned. -Of all Commanders available to Nemesis Jean Claude is the only one that has no experience whatsoever commanding an operation of that size and all the other missions we have launched in this war so far were team efforts. If Nemesis really had found himself forced to send a single Commander to conquer a planet, he'd have chosen you or Razzle, possibly Point, someone with a lot of offensive experience, and added Jean Claude to either the Venthe or the Arthame mission where he'd have had the support of a more experienced partner in case something went wrong.-

-Razzle is tied up on Arthame.- Irozz stated.

-Actually, he's been recalled to the Warworld.- Istar reported. -There was no explanation why. Lutaz is holding Arthame alone, but it is listed as conquered. Both Gaspar and Orat remain on the Warworld, though, so adding Razzle seems overkill.-

-Then Razzle is most likely planning our next move after Venthe is secured.- Jesse analysed. -Or Nemesis has realised that he needs a strategist on hand in his strategy meetings. With me off and Lutaz his only Commander with medical knowledge, Razzle is the only one readily available.-

-Why would his medical knowledge disqualify Lutaz?- Irstz asked.

-It doesn't. It makes him the only one qualified to hold Arthame long-term as the challenges to occupying troops there are of a more medical nature.-

-Er ... what?- Asked Istar.

-There is a lot of sickness there.- Jesse simplified. -The climate makes people fall ill, especially people that weren't born there.-

-So what is the situation on the Warworld?- Irozz demanded rather impatiently.

-All relevant damage has been repaired.- Istar reported. -Apparently damage to empty civilian buildings will not be repaired at all, though. Gaspar is mounting some additional cannons there instead.-

-Makes sense.- Jesse said. -Though, if Orat, Gaspar and Razzle are on the Warworld and only two of them needed to defend it, how is it that neither Gaspar nor Razzle can take a day or two off to be at Jean Claudesz ceremony? Can it be that the situation is worse than Nemesis will let on?-

-Why would he lie to us?- Istar asked more puzzled than offended for once. -If he's in trouble he's likely to need us to help.-

-I'm not saying he's lying to you personally.- Jesse assured him anyway. -That wouldn't make sense. But how far down the command chain is that information available? Will it reach officers or even common soldiers from common clans? Are we absolutely sure none of them are still loyal to former commanding officers or talking to old friends on the other side? If something vital is still broken Nemesis won't want that information to get to Ettar.-

-There's been no mail exchange between this world and the ones under Ettarsz control in almost a month.- Irozz pointed out.

-Spies don't usually use mail.- Irstz stated.

-And what of worlds not fully under his control? The population on Arthame certainly isn't trustworthy. Gattler knew the time and location of the funeral of his ... cousin of some sort, I think ... even though she died at home after we'd taken control of the continent. And we never identified the leak.-

-That can hardly have been restricted information, though.- Irstz commented. -Any servant at the house would have had access to it and felt free to mention it to any random visitor. A fruit trader might well have carried it on to the next market and members of vassal clans might well talk about the death of a noble.-

-Serfs.- Jesse corrected. -Most of Arthamesz population are serfs.-

-Meek and likely to obey anyone.- Irozz diagnosed. -But not likely to get at any sort of restricted information. They wouldn't see anything wrong with passing on the date of a funeral to a relative, though.-

-I'll grant you the latter.- Jesse said. -But Afrar Sesta is the real rebel in that camp. From what we heard from the rest of the family he declared for Ettar against Gattlersz advice. And he can probably use the serfs whichever way he wishes. They must obey him above all others.-

-That would explain Nemesis sending lies to Arthame, but not here.- Istar decided.

-But there is mail running between here and Arthame, isn't there?- Jesse asked him.

Istar stared.

-Yes.- Irstz said. -There is. And there are fruit transports the personnel on which would of course talk with the people loading and unloading the goods on both ends ... and be very interested in all war news since they are at risk of being caught in the crossfire during a space battle.-

-There you have it then.- Jesse stated. -The real information about the status of the Warworld's defences is not likely to leave the Warworld. Quite possibly it never went any further than the Subcommanders of those Commanders who are actually present there.-

It was not a reassuring thought even though it was a perfectly reasonable measure.


	24. Chapter 23: The City and the World

Disclaimer 1: This is fanfic. That means I do not own any of it. I just borrow it to play with for a little while and let people see the pathetic results if they really want to.

Disclaimer 2: I'm not making any money from it. It's just for fun.

Disclaimer 3: What isn't borrowed is all made up. None of this is real or most likely at all realistic. Please don't trust any of the information in here. Most likely you know more about whatever I'm writing about than I do.

Disclaimer 4: Attitudes, views and opinions expressed by the characters or in the story are not necessarily those of the author. Even when writing Science Fiction or Fantasy I do not tend to attempt to create perfect/better worlds in which everybody gets a happy end ... or whatever is best for them. Please accept that some characters will have a bad ending or be unhappy.

Disclaimer 5: I intend no insult to anyone. If I offend anyone I'm very sorry. Please understand that it was an accident as I tend to be very clumsy in these things.

Chapter 23: The City and the World

Jesse's driver for his tour of the city was an older woman that looked more like someone's granny than the fierce guard she apparently had been in her youth.

-I can carry you if need be.- She assured him. -If we don't venture too far from the car, that is.-

-I don't need carrying.- Jesse told her. -Just possibly to sit down and rest for a bit if we do venture far. The most strenuous thing I might require you to do is pick up a crutch if it should fall out of reach. Mostly I expect you to drive and tell me what the buildings we pass are.-

-Oh, that's easy enough. I've known almost all of them from the first stone placed.- She replied with a wink.

Jesse laughed.

-You and most of the population of this world no doubt.-

Climbing into the car proved to be more difficult than expected, but he managed with no direct help from the driver as long as she held the crutches during the procedure.

-Well then.- He told her once they were both inside and the crutches stowed in such a way that he could reach them without them getting in her way. -Where do you recommend we go? The only place I've seen so far is the spaceport.-

-Well, that's certainly worth seeing.- She declared. -I'd never seen one as big and beautiful before when we arrived here.-

-It might well be the biggest I've seen.- Jesse agreed. -But for looks it doesn't quite compare with the one on Varen, yet. I expect they'll ad some more decorative touches once all the other construction projects are finished at the functional level, though?-

-Sounds likely.- She agreed. -But I wouldn't know. I'm not exactly on the planning committee.-

-I expect there's further work planned on the Elhessar houses once the clan has settled into the hold, though?-

-I've heard it said that there are to be some sculptures on the grounds.- The driver replied. -Cats mostly and altars to Zzr and Itz.-

-No other gods?- Jesse asked. -Those two ... don't seem particularly suited to bless a new home.-

-You expected Par, I suppose?- She said after a moment. -It does seem kind of suitable. ... And I guess if we do have plenty of room Thet and Huk. Lord Istar would have a fit, though.-

-Over having altars to the gods of home and family in his family home? When he gets ones to war and death as well? I think I'm beginning to see what Commander Razzle meant when he said some gods always need to be in balance. Commander Istar obviously lacks that balance.- Jesse decided. -Who's Huk, though? I don't think I've heard of that one before.-

-Ah yes, I heard that you have no plans in that direction, yet.- She commented with a happy twinkle. -And you have plenty of time, of course, but I'm not getting any younger and I'd like to see a grandchild or two graduate before I die.-

-God of children?- Jesse guessed.

-Fertility.- She amended. -Which we want for our cats and fruit trees as well, so you'd think somebody would think of giving us an altar to Huk.-

-Somebody probably will.- Jesse assured her. -You might want Cir and Uth, too, though.-

-Cir and Uth? I think I've heard those names before, but ...-

-Weather and fruits and trees.- Jesse explained glad he wasn't the only one that didn't know all the gods. -Those are the gods the Uthene have altars in their garden to. They're very pretty.-

-I bet.- The driver sighed. -Well, our cats will be pretty, too. Zzrsz altar, though ... I don't suppose diamonds will sparkle much outdoors.-

-Maybe if you light it properly at night.- Jesse suggested. -But I'm not sure it's quite the thing people will want to be reminded of when taking a nice evening stroll in the garden.-

He wasn't quite sure cat statues with huge fangs were quite the thing one wanted to pass in the dark either, but in the daytime they should indeed look quite good.

-Well then, if you look to the right right now.- The driver announced slowing down a little to give Jesse time to look at ... a large overgrown field. -That is the temple district. Or where it is supposed to be someday.-

-Impressive.- Jesse remarked dryly. -So, is that bush Itzsz temple or Cirsz?-

The driver shrugged. -It might well be Zzrsz for all I know. I suppose they've planned exactly what temple is to go where, but I haven't seen any plans yet.-

-If all the sights are like this.- Jesse started.

But the driver shook her head.

-Oh no, we'll reach the shopping district next. It's largely still open air and tents, but there's plenty to see, especially in the fruit market.-

Indeed there was a very colourful market with stands and booths and the occasional beginnings of a proper store and they decided to stop for some sweet fruits and a bowl of juice.

-I'll buy you a stronger drink if you're sure you can still drive after it.- Jesse offered. -I just shouldn't have any myself.-

She nodded.

-Nah, nice refreshing juice is best at this time of the day. I can drive after a bowl or two if I have to, but strong drink is best saved for the evening.-

There really was a very large variety of fruits available here and more of them fresh than Jesse had expected. They were however the ones he'd had the most on Arthame ... which on second thought wasn't surprising. Obviously those were the fruits being harvested there at this time of the year. The preserved fruits probably were out of season and came out of Arthame's, or even still the Warworld's, storehouses.

-You have to admit it is a very fine market and the prices are incredibly low.- The driver said. -Have you ever seen fruits this cheap before?-

-I've seen them even cheaper on Arthame and Varen.- Jesse replied truthfully, but seeing her face quickly added: -Those were native fruits from those worlds of course, so the sellers didn't have to factor in a lot of transport costs. You'll probably see some prices drop even further once your own orchards start producing a significant amount of fruits.-

-That won't be for years, though.- She told him. -Even our fast growing bushes are much too young to produce more than an occasional treat this year.-

-Well, for now we have taken Arthame so they have to sell their fruits cheaply.- Jesse said. -That should get you over the next few years.-

-You said you've been there.- She remembered. -Is that where you got your injury?-

Jesse nodded.

-We almost had Ettar cornered, too.- He explained. -I did and then Ramszet, but that ship of his ...-

-The Icebird is quite famous. I actually used to wish to see it once, but that was when he'd won us this planet and hadn't turned on us, yet.-

-It's a rather scary sight when it's coming right at you to crush you.- Jesse told her. -I could have done without that view ... but I suppose you would consider my foot a small price to pay for all the cheap food.-

-One foot that isn't mine? You bet! But then again, was it necessary that you should lose it to gain us the fruits?-

-No.- Jesse admitted. -I suppose not. Ettar would have fled off the planet either way. But I couldn't have let him run off without trying.-

-It sure would have been something to be the one that ended the war, eh?-

-Yeah, but I wouldn't have been it by catching Ettar. It would have been a big loss for the rebels, but not a fatal one.-

-But you didn't know that at the time, I bet.-

-No, I did. We'd talked about it. Still, capturing Ettar would have been a big bonus. Maybe it'd even have prevented the attack on the Warworld.-

Maybe then Gattler would still be alive. That loss still hurt much more than it ought. Strange.

-I doubt it.- The driver said. -How could they take over without taking the Warworld? It's the seat of His Nastiness.-

-By forcing His Nastiness to surrender.- Jesse explained. -Until we took Arthame their plan was to starve us out rather than conquer either the Warworld or Rukkat. Now, they could still try to cut off our ammunition or other supplies, but it won't be as easy and so Ettar chose a direct attack. His Nastiness' seat will remain on the Warworld, though? I kind of expected it to move here as well, at least during peacetimes.-

-They haven't built a throne room yet at least.- The driver replied. -And the Warworld is much better armed. The Academy is moving here, though. Would you like to see that?-

Jesse did and as it turned out it was even worth seeing, though not as much as the market had been. Construction had begun but was moving along at a comparatively leisurely pace since it wasn't nearly as urgent as the building of townhouses to house the population had been. Rather than a single building as on the Warworld the Academy would be a large complex including several buildings, separate girls' and boys' dormhouses a hangar and garage and training grounds for driving lessons.

-And that back there is to be the Science Academy.- The driver added waving at yet another construction site. -I guess they want all the students in one place.-

-They were all in the same building on the Warworld once.- Jesse remembered. -Razzle thought it was a bad idea to separate them.-

-Commander Razzle has some weird ideas sometimes.- The driver remarked. -What difference should it make?-

-Actually, I can see the sense in it. You could use the teachers and equipment of the Science Academy for the tech and medicine speciality courses and maybe offer some physical training to the science students. And use the driving areal for both. Scientists do drive hovercars, too, after all.-

-But hardly military vehicles.- The driver pointed out.

-No reason that the garage shouldn't have civilian hovercars as well, though.- Jesse returned. -I rather think it's a good idea to have beginners practise on a separate training course before letting them on the road where they'll encounter and possibly endanger real traffic.-

The driver pondered that.

-You might have a point there.- She allowed after a while. -Those initial driving attempts can get very dangerous, especially when other drivers don't know there's a beginner at the controls of the car in front of them.-

-Exactly.- Jesse confirmed. -All in all, I'm quite in favour of this arrangement. Even if one doesn't need any of the facilities of the other Academy it does no harm to have them be nearby and if one does it is quite practical.-

They continued their tour by driving past the town-houses of various noble houses and Jesse soon realised that despite the haste in which they had been erected these houses weren't nearly as uniformous as the ones on the Warworld. Clearly each house had had its own ideas of what they wanted and added its own variations to the basic style.

That of house Mithgath was significantly smaller than the others comprising only two stories.

-They say they intend to build further up in future generations, but are putting all their money into the clanhold now.- The driver commented. -I suspect quite a number of them is still on the Warworld. Quite possibly His Nastiness needs them there.-

-He does have at least one clan member on staff.- Jesse agreed. -Though I believe I heard that they also have a large number of old and crippled soldiers that would probably be happier here.-

The driver nodded towards the house.

-I'd say one could fit quite a number of people in there if most of them aren't all that mobile anymore and rooms intended for other purposes later were used as dorms for now.-

-And they are used to tight quarters from the Warworld, yes.- Jesse realised. -It makes perfect sense.-

House Taira's town-house on the other hand made that of Elhessar look downright austere despite its bright colour and nicely lit wide rooms.

-That must have cost a lot more than the other houses.- Jesse commented.

-Taira's pretty well off, I think.- The driver explained. -And they haven't even started to build their clanhold. It's possible they intend to live in the city with their farmers in temporary structures until their debt for the town-house is paid off and their orchards start producing enough fruits to give them an additional income. They certainly fit in there quite comfortably.-

-Who exactly are they? They seem to have some political weight despite not having a Commander.-

-Quite so. They are an elector clan, though not nearly as old as Elhessar ... or even Mithgath for that matter. And while they don't have a Commander right now they have had many in the past and surely will again. Their last one was killed in that ill fated battle that also killed the predecessor of Nemesissz predecessor.-

-Gusta?- Jesse asked. -That must have been quite a defeat back then. His Nastiness dead, at least one Commander and Razzle told me his companion died in that explosion as well ... Or was the Taira Commander Razzlesz companion?-

The driver lifted her hands in the Outrider equivalent of a shrug.

-I never knew either of them personally. I think they were dormmates, but don't even know that for sure. You might want to ask Commander Istar. There were several Commanders and quite a number of other officers killed at the time, though, so there are a lot of candidates. A companion doesn't have to be of the same rank, you see, and Razzle may well have chosen him long before he reached that rank.-

-Possible.- Jesse agreed. -But I got the impression he's had more than just the three I definitely know of.-

-A soldier's life will often do that to one.- The driver agreed. -And Razzle is quite old. Nemesis is Commander Istarsz fourth.-

That came as quite a surprise.

-I thought Nemesis was Istarsz student, a sort of adopted son, or maybe adopted nephew rather than a friend on equal footing?-

-It's how they started, yes, but then Nemesis grew up and both Istar and Lomar retired and while Istar went to teach at the Academy, Lomar focussed entirely on the training of his own clan's children, so they saw very little of each other until they were recalled to active duty.-

Commander Lomar was one of the new Commanders in Istar's dorm whom Jesse knew only from the few strategy meetings he'd attended between his return to the Warworld from Ishara and departure for Arthame. He'd seemed competent enough, but without any clue of strategy.

-Seems a bit slow to make all that good a match for Istar.- Jesse decided. -But probably very reliable and more flexible than Mohawk.-

-He isn't afraid of anything.- The driver told him. -That's the most important thing you need to connect with Commander Istar.-

-So Nemesis, Lomar and before that?- Jesse asked wondering how private that information was and whether he was prying too much. If it wasn't public knowledge of Razzle ...

-Amiss.- The driver replied willingly enough however. -He didn't go after the Nastinesses on purpose, though. In fact Amiss had been his companion pretty much since they started at the Academy.-

-Ah yes, that would explain why Razzle tends to associate them with each other. That's only three, though.-

-Of course.- The driver replied. -His childhood companion was of the clan, of course. Even if we did meet the children of other clans in school most of us stuck with the companions we connected with in the nursery. I think his was ...-

-Hold on!- Jesse snapped with a sudden realisation. -In the nursery? Razzle told me he found his first companion at the Academy and Jean Claude said I'm his first.-

-Oh, but Razzle's twin-born. A twin isn't considered a companion, but usually takes the place of the childhood companion, often even the Academy one unless they are sent to different Academies or one is started a year late. So for Razzle it is perfectly normal. Jean Claude, though, was unusual. There was an uneven number of babies in the clan at the time and I guess he wasn't fit to connect with a clearly younger child. That isn't unheard of either, but usually those are the kids that do connect with a classmate from another clan. How one can fail to connect at the Academy where there are so many children recently separated from their childhood companions every year I don't know, though. Somehow it happened so I guess there must be other cases like that, but I don't know of any.-

Twin-born?

-Razzle never mentioned a twin. Did he die?-

-He wouldn't.- The driver replied. -She's the black sheep of the clan and as far as I know hasn't visited them in decades, so there's no reason he'd be likely to bring her up unless he were dwelling on childhood memories.-

-Oh.- Jesse realised. -A female twin. Somehow I assumed they'd have been identical. He actually did mention his sister once. I just didn't realise it was a twin sister.-

-They're nothing alike actually.- The driver told him. -Complete opposites in every way. But she was his twin and twins just are inseparable in the nursery even if they don't actually match. I guess it's due to having been together since before they ever met anyone else.-

-Probab ... What the hell is that?-

In between all the rectangular town-houses in the street they were driving down stood what looked like a huge mushroom with several smaller mushroom turrets growing out of it.

The driver grinned.

-That.- She said. -Is the Lareth town-house. They swear that for once Commander Razzle had nothing to do with it. Somebody just looked at old drawings of ... buildings and decided that that was what the Larethe had to have.-

They stopped across the road from the house to stare at it.

-Well, it's certainly an interesting sight.- Jesse decided. -And not really as crazy as it might appear to you used to the Warworld as you are. We tend to avoid angles on Varen, too, though our clanhold doesn't have many curves that strong. Those are probably due to the limited space they had to build on here in the city. It's the roofs that make the house look so strange.-

On closer inspection there were spiral walkways running around the house and every turret with more balconies than Jesse had imagined possible.

-And those make sense, too, if you think about it. Just look at all the shady balconies to sit outside on despite the summer heat.-

-They could just move to the shady side of the house like we do.- The driver commented.

-They could.- Jesse confirmed. -But with those roofs they don't have to. It might get cold and dark in the cooler seasons, though.-

The walkways seemed to be well used in any case. There was constant movement there, figures coming out of and going into the house. Lareth clearly wasn't a small clan, especially considering that they still had a nursery running on the Warworld.

-Just how many Larethe are there?- He asked the driver.

She shrugged again.

-About as many as Elhessare, I'd expect, though they were under more reproductive restrictions in the last two generations, so maybe there are a bit less than that.-

-It looks like there are a lot more.- Jesse told her. -But then, maybe they just spend most of their time on the walkways enjoying their shade.-

-The restrictions may not have applied as strictly to the commoners.- The driver suggested. -And perhaps there are guests. They could be preparing a house-warming party. At least I'm pretty sure that last turret wasn't finished yet the last time I drove past here.-

-If they had invited guests from other clans, wouldn't we know of it?- Jesse asked.

-Maybe Afrar Irozz does, but decided we wouldn't go. Or perhaps he wasn't invited in the first place. Lareth and Elhessar aren't exactly on the best of terms and it'd be hard to fit all the nobles of all the elector clans into a mere town-house. The really big parties will have to wait until the clanholds are finished.-

-Would they have a party while Razzle is on the Warworld, though?-

Then again, maybe that explained why neither Razzle nor Gaspar could come to Jean Claude's ceremony. Perhaps Razzle could only get enough time off for a day or two on Rukkat and had preferred his own clan's party over that of a hostile house.

-If he can't make it and the house is finished now, they have to. One can't postpone those things.-

And if Razzle were on Rukkat why would he have sent Helkret to bring Jesse his hair. Jesse was pretty sure that if Razzle could have come himself he would and to hell with whatever the Elhessare would have thought of the visit.

In fact, Jesse had a feeling that one couldn't well leave a Commander of a noble clan standing outside one's door the way one might do with his common born fosterling. Especially, well, he wasn't quite sure what it meant, but the driver had said it several times today.

-Just what exactly is an elector clan and how do they differ from other noble houses?- He asked.

-Why, the elector clans are the 32 clans that nominate the champions for the tournament to determine His Nastiness. Didn't you know that?-

Champions? Tournament? Just how exactly did Outriders choose their supreme leader.

-No.- He admitted. -I didn't. I ... well, initially I thought the position must be inherited, kind of like that of weapons master in Elhessar. When I realised Nemesis and Amiss weren't related I thought that either His Nastiness appoints a capable successor in case of his death or the council chooses him. So what actually happens?-

-Why each of the 32 elector clans chooses a champion and they fight it out. I think ... I think there are both one on one meetings and a free for all, but commoners of elector clans like me never get to be on the supervisory committee. We're partial, of course. All I really know is that the clans appoint the champions and a few days later the result is announced and we have a new Nastiness.-

Jesse stared at her.

-We choose our supreme leader by a fistfight?- He demanded incredulously. -When does His Nastiness ever have to fight in person? A leader needs political skill and foresight, tactical and strategical talent. He doesn't need to be a good fistfighter.-

-I don't think it's just simple fistfighting.- The driver said. -But anyway, it is the tradition and neither you or I can change it.-

-I've done a lot of things people considered impossible in the past.- Jesse told her.

-Maybe so.- She allowed. -You certainly can do a lot more than I, but nobody outside the very highest nobles of the elector clans gets a say in or about the tournaments. You won't find Afrar Irozz or Commander Istar willing to change the rules as long as they favour the Cats-of-War. And what other access to people in such a high position do you have? ... Well, Commander Razzle, I suppose. Commander Point, Commander Orat ... Nemesis himself. But would they be any more likely to do you such a favour?-

-Not Orat, that's for sure.- Jesse replied with a grin. -Razzle would hear me out in any case, but he acts on his own judgement and if he hasn't yet, he's got good reasons. As for Point and Nemesis, I don't know. It might be worth a try ... but only after I've heard Razzlesz reasons.-

-You think very highly of him.- The driver remarked. -I ... am not used to that from the people I usually talk to. Most of them don't know him of course.-

Jesse nodded.

-Razzle's hard to get to know.- He explained. -And he does get very unpleasant, but he protects his own and his dorm members definitely are that. As for me wanting to hear his reasons, though ... Razzle is one of very few Outriders that actually might be smarter than me and he is more experienced and most likely much better informed about the tournaments than either of us.-

-You'd trust him to know better than Afrar Irozz?- The driver asked.

-Now that is a tough question.- Jesse had to admit. -Irozz is a very smart fellow as well ... as is Irstz, but ... I trust neither to tell me exactly what he is thinking about any question he has a personal interest in. Razzle might under the right circumstances.-

-That's quite a bit more than protecting his own.- The driver commented.

-He ... likes people to understand things at a deep level and most either aren't interested or don't have the capacity. That's why he likes me.- Jesse realised.

Damn it, Jean Claude had been right, Razzle did indeed like him, much more so than Jean Claude probably realised, definitely much more so than Jesse had ever considered possible before. He wasn't just the only one that could carry on the tradition of the old Outrider strategists, he also was someone with whom he could share thoughts that even Gattler couldn't appreciate.

-I'd like to meet his wife someday.- He decided. -I'd really like to know what sort of woman a man like him would choose.-

-He might not have chosen her.- The driver told him. -When you've got outstanding talents that are unusual in your clan like that the clan tends to choose who you breed with.-

-Nope.- Jesse shook his head. -He told me he chose a woman he was in real love with. Those were his exact words. And he also said his relationship with her was much akin to that one has with one's companion.-

-Well, you obviously do know him no matter how hard it may be to achieve. Do you want to get out and see whether they'll let you in? They should if you can come up with a reason for your visit and I wait outside.-

Jesse thought about it, but whom could he ask to see?

-No.- He decided. -All the Larethe I actually know ought to be on the Warworld. The only one I've met that I know is here is Helkret and he pretty much told me to talk to Razzle directly. Let's have a look at the other elector clans' houses instead. Just who are those 32 highest of the high nobility?-

-Maybe you are on to something about Nemesis lying after all.- Istar informed Jesse that evening at dinner. -Jean Claude has been ordered back here and Brunhilda to the Warworld.-

-That doesn't have to mean anything.- Jesse decided after a moment. -Jean Claude had to return here for the ceremony and Nemesis probably didn't want him inactive entirely considering that he's already short of Commanders. He doesn't want three Commanders here either, though, and neither you nor Brunhilda have the right sort of troops to reinforce the space line so she's probably intended as Razzlesz partner in whatever attack he's planning. He and you don't get along, so you're staying even though you are the better offensive Commander.-

-Or maybe they are expecting another attack on the Warworld.- Istar returned. -Jean Caudesz troops are not fit to defend this world either. Too few heavy guns.-

-But he had to go home.- Jesse reminded him. -He probably won't stay all that long.-

-It still doesn't invalidate what you said yesterday.- Irstz pointed out.

-In...what?- Istar growled. -Don't you start talking like Razzle as well!-

-It doesn't.- Jesse agreed. -But I actually feel reassured that Razzle is on the Warworld to advise Nemesis. He is the best for that job.-

-Razzle?- Istar snarled. -Why?-

-He's the best strategist we have and that's where the rebels are weakest. They have tacticians aplenty, but no real strategists, but from the moment he sent off the Arthame mission Nemesis was working without a real strategist on hand as well. That gave the rebels an unnecessary advantage.-

-He could use Lutaz then.- Istar grumbled.

-Lutazsz medical knowledge is more valuable on Arthame and I also suspect that Razzle knows Ettar better than he does. He can predict what he'll do.- Jesse told him. -I know he's unpleasant, Istar, and I know that you hate him, but grant Razzle that he's good at his job. He wouldn't be where he is if he weren't.-

-Can you predict what Ettar will do?- Irozz asked suddenly.

-What?- That one took Jesse completely by surprise.

-They say you have the same extraordinary talent as Razzle does. So can you do it?-

-No.- Jesse admitted. -I don't know Ettar beyond having seen him in council meetings. That doesn't give me enough to work with. I can predict reasonable possible actions a Commander in his position would be likely to make, but I'm not able to tell which one Ettar is most likely to choose.-

-You seem pretty confident guessing at Nemesissz actions.- Irstz pointed out.

-I've had four years to watch those.- Jesse returned. -I think I know him well enough to be reasonably accurate after that.-

-You aren't completely sure he's lying right now, though.- Istar challenged.

-No, it depends on whether he has reason to lie or not. And then ... I may have the talent, Istar, but not Razzlesz decades of experience using it. Lutaz probably still is the second best choice at this point, especially since he, too, does know Ettar personally.-

-Still, you are the best we have here.- Irozz stated. -What do you think Ettar is doing? I can tell you for sure that he for one isn't grieving for Gattler.-

-He is one very cold bastard, isn't he?- Jesse commented. -Razzle said he doubted that he has real friendship in him once. That's a pretty devastating statement from an old friend.-

-He is very efficient, though.- Irozz countered. -I do admire that.-

-It is devastating indeed.- Irstz said. -No matter how efficient it makes him it also makes him dangerous to everybody. Nobody can rely on him. He might turn even on his clan or companion at any time.-

-I've turned on my clan.- Jesse stated.

-You didn't grow up with them. We have the advantage in that as it puts your strongest loyalty with Jean Claude. And you are true to your word and ... debts incurred.- Irstz told him. -We can tell where you'll stand towards us in any given situation well enough ... and what you are too moral to do. Ettar, though? What is he preparing while others are grieving?-

-Well, he certainly isn't planning to switch sides.- Jesse decided. -His side still has good chances to win this war or at least survive as a separate empire.-

That got him some surprised reactions. Apparently none of them had considered that possible outcome, yet.

-It's quite likely.- Jesse told them. -If we have to conquer every colony world it will take us decades and most likely more immediate problems will arise in the process, so unless they surrender completely we will most likely make peace with the rebels at some point in the future and allow them to keep whatever worlds they are still holding. The long-term result ... would be a situation similar to what you saw in the Fleshling dimension with the New Frontier and Jar. Both are Fleshling states, but they have separate governments and different ways of governing.-

-They're allies, though.- Irstz threw in.

-Yes, and we probably would eventually ally with Ettarsz empire to fight ... the ThHone for example.- Jesse replied slightly surprised how alien that concept seemed to the Outriders.

Sure they'd had a united government for thousands of years, but surely they'd met cultures that didn't before.

-That's not what Ettar is going to aim for at this point, though.- He continued. -He still has hopes of winning and taking the whole empire. There are three ways he could go about achieving that. His initial idea was to cut off our food supplies to force us to either surrender or starve to death. He could still do that, but it'd mean either taking back Arthame or stopping all space traffic from Arthame here and to the Warworld. He gave up on that strategy when he left Arthame and I don't think he's ready to go back to it at this point.-

-It would be a lot more difficult now that he no longer has troops on the ground.- Irozz agreed. -But we have reduced our troops there as well with only Lutaz remaining.-

-Like I said, he can still do that. I just don't think he will right now.- Jesse repeated. -His next move was the attempt at the Warworld. If he takes that and captures Nemesis we're done for. We might be able to appoint a new Nastiness, but we'd lack a military base of sufficient strength to hold out for long. With the Warworld in his possession Ettar could pick off Rukkat and Arthame at his leisure. He showed his hand by attacking it once, so he knows we know that that is his plan and will be prepared for it, but that doesn't mean a second attempt must fail. He might be preparing another strike against the Warworld then. Or as a variant he might surprise us by attacking Rukkat, but that would be a feint or at best an interim goal intended to confuse us. His real end target would still be the Warworld and I'm not sure he'd want to waste time on Rukkat. While it'd be a painful loss to us emotionally, it would gain him nothing on the military level.-

-You expect him to go for the Warworld then.- Irozz stated.

-It seems the most likely from what I've seen of him by far, but I still do not know him. How patient is he? If he is willing to go on for years he could try penning us in and waiting until we run out of ammunition to fight him off. In that case his next move would be to drive us back from Venthe and even if he failed to achieve that we'd run out of raw materials for the factories there eventually. It's not a bad strategy, but is he willing to wait? Can he afford to or might he lose control of the other rebel clans if he doesn't give them fast results?-

-He ... I do not know.- Irozz said sounding quite surprised to discover that fact. -He did take years to take Rukkat, but those were years of repeated attacks, not actually of waiting.-

-Some colony clans are likely to grow impatient.- Irstz supplied. -But they must know that it would be foolish to split off into a third faction. They must stand together against us or risk losing everything. I could see a political power struggle at the top replacing Ettar as supreme commander, though. In that case his successor would be forced to bring a fast result, but retaking Arthame or taking Rukkat might be seen as such as well as our complete defeat by taking the Warworld.-

-And which one he goes for will depend on the personality of said Commander, so unless you can tell me who it would be all bets are off until we find out.-

-Cuth is in the best position for it.- Irstz replied readily enough. -But his clan isn't likely to be one of the impatient ones, so ... Hejrm would be more likely. On the other hand Grammis is a good compromise candidate and with Gattler dead Mohawk has the most money backing him.-

-Mohawk's not fit for the job.- Jesse countered. -He wouldn't even see the options I mentioned and the rebels would have to be a capital bunch of fools not to know it. They'd fall apart if somebody placed Mohawk in the lead. Besides, Mohawk's homeless. There won't be any more money coming to him from Arthame unless they retake it first.-

-Hejrm, Cuth or Grammis then?- Istar asked.

-What of Marduk?- Irozz threw in. -He's a bit young, but so's Hejrm, his clan is Zystinsz biggest rival and he's a solid tactician.-

-True.- Irstz agreed. -It might be Marduk.-

-Too many candidates.- Jesse decided. -And Grammis is the only one I know well. But we have time. This replacement isn't likely to happen soon, if at all. I'll see if I can't get Razzlesz thoughts on them before then.-

-Good luck.- Istar sneered. -All you're likely to get out of that one are insults.-

-Oh no, I've gotten serious thoughts on Ettar, Mohawk and Gattler out of him in the past.- Jesse assured him. -I know how to go about getting more. I'm not hampered by the sort of bad history you have with him.-

The brothers didn't need to know just how well he got on with Razzle if the driver was going to keep her mouth shut about it.

-We didn't even plan today!- Jensz practically pounced on Jesse on the way out after dinner.

-So?-

-Jean Claude will probably be here tomorrow!-

-So?- Jesse repeated. -That doesn't bring his birthday any closer and there isn't really anything left to plan before we see the clanhold.-

-But we haven't made the bracelet yet!-

-You're the one who said not to start yet.- Jesse pointed out. -But alright, we can do that tomorrow.-

For now he wanted to check up on Jenny, though. He couldn't see her that well from his place at the head table, but she'd seemed very quiet again and had left before they'd served desert.

It came as no surprise when he found her reading in her favourite dark corner again.

-Headache again?- He asked.

-Yes.- She said not nodding along with the word as she usually did. -It's not so bad if I can just sit here and read, though.-

-You didn't eat much.- He claimed even though all he knew for sure was that she couldn't have had desert.

-I wasn't very hungry and it was so awfully noisy in the dining hall. Too many people talking and the little children have such awfully painful voices.-

-Would you like me to get you something up here?- Jesse suggested.

-They won't let you.- Jenny stated quite convinced.

-I'm no child and dinner's already over. Besides I'm sure they'll understand if I explain why you need it. It probably won't be sweet fruits, though.-

-No.- Jenny declined. -I'm fine. I really just want to sit here and read until the headache goes away.-

So Jesse left her alone even though he felt quite worried now. Could it be that there was something more serious wrong with her after all if she was losing her appetite as well now?

He joined the elders to distract himself and found that he was required to tell them every detail of his sight seeing tour of the city and his thoughts about it. It wasn't until quite near the end of the tale that he realised that the less mobile of them had never seen most of the places he was talking about themselves and even those that had were very excited about their new homeworld and possibly not entirely sure it was really real yet. They'd lived on the Warworld hoping for a new home and being disappointed again and again for so long.

There were some refreshment fruits here and after he'd finished his tale Jesse took a bowl to the little sitting room where he'd found Jenny, but the girl had fallen asleep over her book and didn't wake when Jesse picked her up. Luckily he soon met a female servant that he could hand her over to to put to bed. He really didn't want to enter her dorm during bedtime and her dormmates weren't strong enough to be expected to carry her even the short distance from the door to her bed.

He returned to take her book back to the library. A glance at the cover as he closed it informed him that it was the Encylopedia of Alien Lifeforms volume five.

Well, Istar didn't have to know and surely Jenny was free to choose whatever she liked to read even if she wasn't free to choose her school or future profession.

And who knew, if her headaches continued to trouble her, perhaps this reading was good preparation for the future after all.

The facts that Jenny hadn't wanted to eat and fallen asleep while reading a book she must have found deeply interesting however wouldn't leave him alone and so he went looking for Thert.

Unsurprisingly the doctor wasn't in his office, the dining hall was empty and so were the first two sitting rooms Jesse checked. There were some people in the garden, but Thert wasn't among them. Remembering that the doctor had been training last time Jesse had wanted him he went to the gym, but found only Istar and three adult Cats-of-War.

He was about to leave again when Istar interrupted his fight.

-Do you feel up to training again then?- He demanded in a rough, but not hostile tone.

Jesse shook his head.

-Still too dependent on the crutches.- He declared. -They'd get in the way of every move.-

-Then what are you doing here?-

-Looking for ...- He remembered only just in time that Istar didn't need a reminder of the last time he'd gone to Thert over Jenny. -Athe.-

-What do you want with her?-

-Well ... Did you notice that Jenny left dinner early today? I found her sitting by herself not wanting company afterwards. She admitted to having another headache and not having eaten properly, but claimed she wasn't hungry. When I brought her some refreshment fruits about an hour later I found that she'd fallen asleep right there in her chair.-

-Well, if she was by herself it's hardly to be wondered at that she was bored.- Stomt offered.

-She did have a book to occupy her.- Jesse admitted. -And while I have little experience with kids her age I assume she's old enough to take herself to bed when she's tired.-

-She's also old enough to get herself her own refreshments.- Istar pointed out. -What's it to Athe?-

-They look like possible further signs of illness to me.- Jesse explained. -And I thought that it might be worth keeping an eye on them, but her dorm is too old for either you or me to just walk in and check how well she's sleeping, so I thought it best to leave that to her mother. ... Did Thert tell you he thought disturbed sleep might cause her headaches? If Athe found her disturbed by a dormmate or light falling on her pillow we could fix the whole problem by finding her a different dorm or moving her bed.-

-I assure you no Cat of War or child of mine is so helpless she can't punch an uppity dormmate into submission.- Istar snarled. -Or take whatever bed she wants.-

-But, haven't her dormmates had the very same training she has?- Jesse asked slightly perplexed. -And don't you want a nice, harmless solution just like that?-

-They have.- Stomt confirmed. -Seriously Commander, I think he has a good point there. There can't be any harm in telling Athe and letting her take a look. Fuck, it just might be the girl's having nightmares as well and too ashamed to tell Thert.-

That was one possibility that had never occurred to Jesse even though he ought to have been the first to think of it. 


	25. Chapter 24: Friends, Headaches and an Ex

Disclaimer 1: This is fanfic. That means I do not own any of it. I just borrow it to play with for a little while and let people see the pathetic results if they really want to.

Disclaimer 2: I'm not making any money from it. It's just for fun.

Disclaimer 3: What isn't borrowed is all made up. None of this is real or most likely at all realistic. Please don't trust any of the information in here. Most likely you know more about whatever I'm writing about than I do.

Disclaimer 4: Attitudes, views and opinions expressed by the characters or in the story are not necessarily those of the author. Even when writing Science Fiction or Fantasy I do not tend to attempt to create perfect/better worlds in which everybody gets a happy end ... or whatever is best for them. Please accept that some characters will have a bad ending or be unhappy.

Disclaimer 5: I intend no insult to anyone. If I offend anyone I'm very sorry. Please understand that it was an accident as I tend to be very clumsy in these things.

Chapter 24: Friends, Headaches and an Excursion

Perhaps Jensz had been right to worry about the wristband weaving after all. They started it the next morning and had made little progress by lunchtime. While it was indeed the same technique as Razzle had taught him to make the grieving wreaths, these materials were much thinner and the result was intended to last a lifetime requiring much more care.

Still, Jesse thought they ought to finish in time if they continued to work like this every day.

But then Jean Claude arrived shortly after lunch.

For a little while he was busy greeting relatives, but after that he caught sight of Jesse and hugged him almost as enthusiastically as Jenny had when he'd first arrived.

-How's your leg?- He asked, but almost before Jesse could start to reply added: -What was Arthame like? Oh, and thank you so much for the cats!-

-You can thank Jatt for those. He's the one that settled me with them.- Jesse finally got out a complete answer. -Though I am glad they didn't have to die. They are magnificent creatures. I had no idea how big they really are.-

-To be honest, neither did I.- Jean Claude admitted. -You just can't tell in most pictures and I'd never seen a real one either. Have you seen the kittens? How big are they? I had to leave before they were born.-

-I have pictures, but so does everybody else in this house. The originals are at the clanhold, though and I haven't been there yet.-

-Why ever not?- Jean Claude demanded. -That won't do. We'll go and see the kittens first thing tomorrow morning.-

-We'll have to take ...- No, they couldn't do any planning for the ceremony with Jean Claude right there for the trip, could they? -Ask Thert whether I'm up to such a long trip yet. He thought we'd better postpone it last time I mentioned it.-

-Nonsense. You're light enough that we can just carry you to a chair and we'll need a car for the trip anyway. We don't have to roam the entire construction site and orchards. There isn't even anything to see in the orchards yet anyway. Why would we even want to look at an empty field? ... Unless we take Jenny, of course. She'd probably like to look for critters there. Should we take Jenny? She's old enough to play unsupervised, so we can just let her run off. Where is Jenny?-

That question stopped Jesse short.

-I didn't see her at lunch either.- He realised. -But she had a headache yesterday evening. She said they never come two days in a row.-

-Jenny has headaches?- Jean Claude asked sounding puzzled.

-Ever since moving to this world.- Jesse explained. -Thert is trying to figure out what's causing them, but apparently it takes a while.-

Had Istar passed Jesse's message on to Athe the day before? Had she checked up on her daughter's sleep as suggested?

-Athe?- Jesse called. -Do you know where Jenny is? Jean Claude hasn't had a chance to greet her yet.-

-I sent her to see Thert in the morning.- Athe replied coming over to them. -To show him the headache diary. I haven't seen her since, but she ought to be training right now ... Except she's too young to train by herself and all the trainers are here.-

-Then she must be waiting in the gym wondering what is taking Uncle Irstz so long.- Jean Claude realised. -Come on, Jesse! Let's surprise her.-

Of course Jesse had no chance to keep up with Jean Claude on his crutches and even lost sight of him entirely once he reached the stairs.

By the time he arrived at the gym Jenny had apparently changed back into her tunic and trousers quite determined that training was cancelled for the day.

-I didn't really feel up to it anyway.- She explained. -I had such a terrible headache yesterday, I think I'd better rest.-

-So you'd rather not go to the clanhold with us tomorrow?- Jean Claude asked. -Jesse and I mean to see the kittens.-

Jenny perked up immediately.

-Sure I'll come! Can we take them home, yet? Is it okay to touch them?-

-I'm not sure Uncle will let you skip training two days in a row just for the excitement of seeing kittens.- Jean Claude told her.

-Sure he will if you ask him to.- Jenny claimed.

Jesse spent the whole afternoon and evening catching up with Jean Claude who had apparently not seen Gaspar at all and received only one short message from him which had not contained any information on how Jesse had been doing.

-He couldn't really write that to the front, of course.- Jean Claude reminded him. -It's strategically valuable information and frontline mail might fall into the hands of the enemy easily enough. Let's keep Ettar guessing whether you mightn't be back with your troops already.-

-Do you know that Gattler is dead, then?- Jesse asked.

-Yes, no need to keep that from his own side since they already know anyway.- Jean Claude confirmed. -It must have been tough news for Razzle. Have you heard from him?-

Jesse shook his head.

-That is, he sent word that he couldn't be here for your ceremony.- He explained. -But nothing on why or how he's doing. We expect that he's to be sent out on the next offensive, but it appears not even Istar has all the information on what's going on on the Warworld. I take it you didn't stop there on your way here since you haven't seen Gaspar?-

-No, what would I be doing there when I'm ordered here? Nemesis would probably have skinned me alive.-

-Not if you had a good excuse.- Jesse assured him. -I made an unscheduled visit to the Warworld a few weeks ago and he didn't actually do anything to me at all, just scolded and told me to get back to my post. ... Well, and took Una from me, but I couldn't have kept her.-

-Una? Who's Una?-

News clearly had been very sparse on the front and Jesse spent quite a while re-telling all his adventures on Arthame.

Then again he hadn't heard any details about Jean Claude's feint attack either and never wondered about it. Apparently it had been quite a brutal affair with both sides firing without any consideration for civilian lives. Two towns had been levelled and one clanhold burned to the ground with most of the clan's younger children still inside.

-Was that necessary?- Jesse asked Jean Claude.

-They were rebel children. Enemies.- Jean Claude pointed out.

-They were too young to be a danger to anyone or really pick a side.- Jesse returned. -They'd have made good hostages and by the time they'd have been ready to start the Academy this war would probably have been over.-

-Or not.- Jean Claude said. -It doesn't look like the rebels are going to relent. We'll probably go on fighting for years and those children would have been taught to hate us. It's better this way.-

-The surviving clan members certainly hate us now.- Jesse commented. -And probably always will.-

Then again even Irstz didn't hate Jesse.

But Jesse had never meant to kill anyone.

He couldn't quite get his mind off that all through dinner and kept looking at Irstz rather than participating in the conversation.

-Alright.- The master of ceremonies said finally. -What is it you want?-

-Your permission to take Jenny along to the clanhold tomorrow.- Jean Claude replied before Jesse could make up his mind what to say. -Despite not having trained today. I know she shouldn't skip twice in a row, but it wasn't her fault that you cancelled today's training because of my arrival.-

-True.-Irstz allowed. -Only it would be the third day in a row. She skipped yesterday because she had a headache.-

-She's skipping her training because of that!- Istar roared. -Why I'll show that lazy little cumbat!-

-I told her she should!- Thert yelled even louder much to Jesse's surprise. -I want to monitor how training affects the headaches and for that I need to know how they develop without training.-

-She might be using it as an excuse.- Athe stated calmly. -She doesn't like training and it is particularly important for her now that she is so close to starting the Academy.-

-From what I've seen of it it'll be quite a while before the Academy can open.- Jesse said. -And it is very important to determine the cause of those headaches before Jenny starts. I believe it would be possible for her to start a year late if her training isn't up to scratch?-

-Except that being a Cat-of-War her training level should be far above 'scratch'.- Irozz pointed out. -That won't pass as an excuse.-

-Then the headaches might.- Jesse suggested. -Thert could confirm that there's a medical condition that might affect her eligibility to join the army and claim that he is still investigating it.-

-I don't want that to get known outside the clan.- Istar declared.

-Say that she is unusually small and has just recovered from an illness officially.- Jean Claude stated. -And put about that she asked for it because she wants to wait for Cain. Afrar agreed, because we want to extend our alliance with Jesse and he is particularly fond of Cain.-

-He is.- Jesse confirmed. -But that won't pass muster if we are still at war at the time and it isn't likely Cain will be able to come here. There are academies in the colonies, aren't there?-

-Not for officers' training.- Jean Claude replied.

-They'll probably extend at least one of them to include that if the war lasts that long.- Irozz waved that argument away. -They will need to train new officers and can't let people's training wait too long. And Cain would only be starting basic training, anyway. Even at an Academy without officers' training courses she'd have plenty of time before she'd need to worry about it.-

-What if she happened to fall sick on the fist day of school?- Jesse suggested. -She might be off for over a week and have missed all the most basic instructions. Wouldn't it be much easier for her to wait another year than to try to catch up then?-

-I'm not sure everybody would see it that way.- Irstz replied after a moment of thought. -But I believe the argument has been made before. I'll have Szokt look into it.-

-I still don't want Jenny skipping training again tomorrow.- Istar declared. -She's had two days off and there'll be plenty of trips to the clanhold soon. She can see the place next week if she's trained the day before.-

-You still have something on your mind, though.- Irstz said to Jesse.

-Dead children on Szurat.- Jesse replied honestly, but avoiding details. -Lots of dead children. I don't know about the other battles, but I'm pretty sure that we managed not to shoot any children on Arthame, even if we interned some and probably frightened even more. The rebels can't accuse us of deliberate endangerment of any civilians in any case. But now we have a precedent. Will the situation escalate? What of the families of the dead children? Will they ever forgive or do we have a rift that can't be healed now? Will we be unable to reunite the empire?-

-And you're asking me?- Irstz asked. -Why?-

-You ... forgave me. ... I ... What does it take?-

Irstz stared at him.

-But that was an entirely different situation.- He stated. -Taidensz death was an accident. A terrible, preventable accident, but ... as you said about the Arthame mission: Nobody can accuse you of deliberate endangerment of civilians. Anyone can see that it pains you as much as us. And you have been punished despite it having been merely a mistake. I do not know what it would take me to forgive the Fleshlings, if they had burst into the Academy and shot Taiden at his desk.-

-They wouldn't have.- Jesse said. -Not if they'd recognised the room as a classroom and the students as unarmed. They are trained not to hurt children if they can avoid it. ... Though Taiden might have looked like an adult to them. But they'd see no need to kill an unarmed adult civilian either.-

-And it's still a different situation.- Thert intervened unexpectedly. -The Fleshlings are a different species and we have never been friends. They might well see every Outrider as a terrible monster, just as we see the Th'Hone. Right now we are fighting our own people. A year ago our soldiers would have defended those children with their lives, just as they would ours. And there can be no mistake. Our soldiers know what Outrider children look like.-

-It was necessary.- Jean Claude stated coldly. -They were in the way and you don't leave an enemy alive to hurt you later.-

-Many years later when they are all grown up and trained?- Jesse asked him.

-True.- Irozz agreed. -You can't leave an enemy alive in battle.-

-And just how do you define an enemy?- Jesse demanded. -I always assumed it meant an adult soldier. If it doesn't, where do you draw the line?-

-An Academy aged child might well be able to kill an adult.- Jean Claude declared. -A younger child will grow up to take revenge.-

-Yet, if you murder children, their clans will take revenge.- Irstz pointed out. -And other clans will take notice and condemn your actions. Jesse is quite right to worry about consequences, though they will probably be more political than military.-

-This war is an unusual military situation.- Irozz stated. -I'll be sure to point that out in the council if the matter is ever brought up. The rebels wouldn't hesitate to murder all of our children. We very much regret that some of theirs had to be sacrificed.-

-They weren't just rebel children.- Jesse insisted. -Some were of common clans as I understood it. Children of civilians intended for civilian careers. That won't look good.-

-Those were accidental. They happened to be in the way.- Jean Claude returned.

-They were in the way never sounds good to the civilians.- Irstz said. -Can you blame it on the other side or self defence? Overeager soldiers acting without orders?-

-Er ...- Made Jean Claude.

-Best hush it up then.- Irozz decided. -I know nothing of it, but of course there often are regrettable isolated incidents in war.-

-That won't soothe the parents.- Jesse warned.

-No, but it will most likely stop the outrage from spreading to other planets.- Irozz said. -In politics sometimes the best you can do is to limit the damage.-

-I hate politics.- Jean Claude sighed. -They always make things so complicated.-

That didn't go over well with any of the dignitaries at the table, even his own mother, of course. Jesse hastily kicked him in the shin to stop any further comments in that line.

-What?- Jean Claude asked him sounding quite baffled.

Jesse just shook his head at him.

That at least worked to silence him until they were alone again, but as soon as they'd left the dining hall Jean Claude took Jesse aside.

-What was that about?- He demanded.

-What? My asking about the children you had killed? I was worried.-

-No, why did you kick me?-

Oh hell!

-Because you are supposed to become the next Afrar here, but an Afrar has to deal with politics a lot. They might well eliminate you from the succession list if you make them worry about your ability to cope with the tasks.-

-Which would make me Weapons Master.- Jean Claude returned with a shrug. -And I'd much rather be that anyway.-

-Look ...- Jesse started then realised that he might be putting his head into three different slings here. -Promise you won't tell anyone that you know this and most certainly not that I told you?-

-Sure.- Jean Claude replied quite surprised.

-From the way Irozz and Irstz talk about it they have already eliminated you as a candidate for Weapons Master. I'm not sure why, but there seems to be a very big argument against you that they don't want Istar to find out about. They're hoping to have Jatt as Weapons Master and you as Afrar, but have doubts enough that they've discussed alternative candidates and how to break it to Istar if they choose one. I expect he'll flip out no matter how carefully they tell him one of his sons didn't make it, so don't give them any cause. You want to be Afrar. Act like it.-

-But I ... don't.- Jean Claude realised. -I want to be Weapons Master.-

-Then you'd better find out what the problem is and remove it.- Jesse told him after a moment of shocked silence. -And do it very convincingly, because the competition there is tougher than it is for Afrar.-

-Jensz is out of the running.- Jean Claude pointed out.

-But Jenny isn't if her headaches turn out to be curable and Jatt's a perfectly fine candidate either way.- Jean Claude didn't need to know about the doubts they had there.

-You said earlier that they are unsure of that as well.-

-He's young and hasn't proven himself in battle, yet.- Jesse said. -Even though I gave him a chance to. He lacks training and experience, but he'll get those. Also look out for your uncle-sons. I hear they are all impressive hand to hand fighters.-

-Nevar and Taret?- Jean Claude snorted. -Don't be ridiculous.-

-I'm not. I heard them mentioned as possible candidates. If you want to upset the favourite plan, you have to expect them to be given serious consideration.-

-Afrar wouldn't stand for it.-

-Which is exactly why it needs to be kept secret. We have a very explosive situation here and if you don't want to play along, you're likely to be the one in whose face it blows up ... unless you bring it down on Jatt, which wouldn't be fair.-

-Does he want to be Weapons Master then?-

-If you don't know that. He's your brother and I certainly haven't asked him. He strikes me as rather ambitious, but he must expect to become either one or the other. Maybe he'll tell you which he'd prefer if you ask.-

-He would ... But I am his rival, so, I guess, if he knows which one I prefer he might lie.-

-Fine.- Jesse said. -I'll ask Jattsz opinion on the succession when I return to the front. All innocently.-

-Thanks. If he wants to be Afrar, we can work it out together. Then everything will be fine.-

-Maybe.- Jesse said unable to feel quite as optimistic. Reality rarely offered perfect solutions. -Do you know what the argument Irozz has against you becoming Weapons Master might be?-

-No.- Jean Claude said. -I can't think of anything. There isn't anything. I can think of some against me becoming Afrar, but I'd be a fine Weapons Master. I'm an excellent fighter, I always keep up with my training and I can teach as well.-

-Well, there must be something.-

There were no reasons to prevent their trip to the clanhold the next morning. Jenny and Thert accompanied them to the hover-car where Jesse's friend the old driver was already waiting humming happily to herself.

Jenny made one last effort to convince them to let her climb into the car, then decided she had a headache and needed to return to the house to sit in the dark.

Thert reminded her to enter it into her diary, but got into the car anyway.

-Shouldn't you stay and examine her?- Jean Claude asked.

-I've examined her with and without a headache before.- The doctor replied calmly. -There's nothing more I can look for without more diary data and I want to keep an eye on Commander Jesse on his first long excursion. I don't want him to overtax his foot yet. Besides I promised to show him the ancestral hall.-

-The ancestral hall? Whatever for?- Jean Claude demanded.

-Razzle suggested that it would be appropriate and I feel it might be a good way to ... say good bye to the children.- Jesse explained.

-I could show it to you myself just fine, though. You only needed to ask.-

-Thert offered first.- Jesse said. -Long before we knew you'd be back in time for the trip. Why do you begrudge him the excursion, though? You were perfectly happy to take Jenny along until Irstz refused her permission.-

-I'm ... Not be..whatevering anything. I'm just saying I could, if Thert wanted to examine Jenny. I'm worried about my sister's health. That's all.-

-She isn't in any immediate danger.- Thert assured him. -Just discomfort. It's affecting her general health by its effect on her eating and sleeping habits, but that isn't at a dangerous level yet, and there are medicines I can give her to help if it ever should get dangerous.-

-Could she be scamming it?- Jesse asked.

-What?- Thert stared at him.

Clearly he hadn't even considered that possibility yet.

-As far as I can tell she first mentioned having a headache to an aunt when she was supposed to unpack her box upon arrival on this planet. That may have been an excuse to postpone unpacking because she was tired after the excitement of her first space-trip. Or it may have been a real headache from the same excitement or drinking too little as the aunt suggested. Then Jenny presumably had more headaches on and off over months, but never mentioned them to anyone until I found her reading by herself. She was very careful not to let me see what book she was reading, so maybe she was actually hiding away from everybody to read something she'd been forbidden, remembered the headache and its effect on her aunt and made up a new one to get me to leave her alone. Now she's found that headaches can get her out of training and promptly she gets one when she's been forced to forego a nice trip to the clanhold in favour of hard work at becoming a soldier, which she doesn't want to do. So, have you found any physical proof of the existence of those headaches?-

-No.- Thert admitted. -Perhaps we should end the experiment with foregoing training next week and experiment with ... not having desert when she has a headache instead? Possibly also with not reading in case of eye strain affecting the pain?-

-Sounds good to me.- Jesse laughed. -But you are the doctor.-

-I'm not sure she'd be clever enough to fake lack of appetite and sleep, though.- Thert continued after a moment. -She never had any special interest in medicine, so where would she have gotten that idea?-

-She may have looked it up in the library after she'd told me her initial story. That didn't include any hint at those symptoms. There merely was the claim that movement aggravates the headaches and that might well be her actual experience with that first real headache.-

-True.- Thert allowed. -We'll see how much having to train anyway and being forbidden to read affect the frequency of headaches. That should tell us something.-

-I don't think Jenny would do something like that.- Jean Claude decided. -Sure, every child has days when they don't want to train and some might try to get out of it, but Jenny never has beyond asking to be let off. She's a good girl.-

-She's a teenager now.- Jesse pointed out. -Teenagers tend to be disobedient.-

-And she is remarkably docile for a teenaged Cat-Of-War.- Thert added. -Maybe she does indeed hide it behind lies. If so, we'd better break her of the habit before she starts at the Academy. They don't look kindly on such things there and what with her being the Weapons Master's daughter it might reflect very badly on the entire clan.-

-It certainly won't do her learning any good if you ask me.- The driver commented. -But they must see all sorts of problems at the Academy. They probably know what to do about it.-

-Afrar sure does.- Jean Claude told her. -He'll give her the beating of her life every time she's caught in a lie to avoid training. You can be sure of that.-

-Beating her within an inch of her life isn't the optimal answer either ... not even if the only counter argument you accept is the training she misses out on while she's recovering.- Jesse warned him. -A less drastic deterrent should be preferable.-

-No reading or no desert might be it.- Thert assured him. -They always worked well on me when I was a boy.-

With Jean Claude and Thert around the driver was much more quiet than she had been on the tour of the capital, but Jesse didn't mind. He and Jean Claude still had plenty to talk about, Thert proved to be quite interesting to talk to and there was a lot of alien landscape to see.

In the city most of what Jesse had seen had been buildings and construction sites so the local vegetation was still unusual to him and now they drove past a lot of still natural terrain ... or perhaps it was terrain in the process of returning to nature. There had been an alien civilisation here before Ettar had driven the old owners away and surely they had had settlements and buildings.

There certainly were craters and glazed stretches of rock that must be leftovers from the fighting, but there were no signs of ruins.

-Did the former inhabitants live underground?- He asked Jean Claude finally.

-In wooden huts.- Thert explained before Jean Claude could reply. -Quite elaborate and comfortable ones from the descriptions I've heard, but they burned away entirely and all that's left to see are blackened bits of wood. And even those are getting harder and harder to find with the new growth hiding the blackened ground. I know a site we could visit if you want to take a look, but it is rather disappointing and I don't recommend adding it to today's trip. You'll probably feel exhausted enough after just seeing the construction site and ancestral hall.-

Jesse nodded.

-It's quite alright. I was just expecting we'd pass some ruins on the way.-

-Not around here. The road's too well travelled.- Thert said. -But I expect there will be some abandoned huts left in more out of the way parts of the planet, places our soldiers never found. We'll come across them once we actually start using those regions and surely one or two will be restored as tourist attractions. Visit us again in a few years and we'll have plenty to see.-

-I expect I'll have to come back anyway.- Jesse mused. -I do want a closer look at the Lareth townhouse and I can't come up with an excuse to visit them now.-

-Eep!- Was all Thert came up with as a reaction to that.

-Lareth?- Jean Claude asked. -Just storm in and demand to see Razzle. They'll probably take you all the way to Afrar Thek before they officially inform you that he isn't home.-

-Except they know that I know that he isn't home, because Helkret came to tell me so. I suppose I could try Kieste instead, but why would he be let off when Razzle failed to get a holiday?-

-Do you know Kieste that well?- Jean Claude demanded sharply.

-We shared our dorm with the Subcommanders on Arthame. I think that's good enough? Anyway, I don't think Kieste's likely to bite off my head. He seems pretty uncomplicated.-

-I think he just might try for mine, if I weren't better at hand to hand.- Jean Claude said.

-But Commander Jesse isn't an Elhessar.- Thert pointed out. -He might be our ally, but still merely a colonist. Lareth probably feels above murdering such minor nuisances.-

-Kieste at least never gave me the impression that he has anything against me.- Jesse told them. -I'm sure he'd talk to me, if I had something to talk about. But he's still not here and I don't know any other Larethe. ... Or do I? There aren't any lesser clan members among my troops, are there?-

Jean Claude shrugged.

-There might be, but they'd be commoners that Razzle rejected. Not the sort that'd be worth your personal attention.- He decided.

-Or put there deliberately to spy on you.- Thert interjected. -Then they don't want your personal attention.-

-Razzle wouldn't have to put a clan spy on me. About a third of my troops used to serve under him until the start of the war. They have friends among his people. Besides if he wants to know what I'm up to nine cases out of ten he just needs to ask. I've got no bones to pick with either him or Lareth.-

-Don't you?- Thert asked. -I thought he's offended pretty much everybody in the army.-

-He does that.- Jesse confirmed. -And sometimes I get mad at him, but ... that passes. It's just sharp words. At the end of the day he's my dorm elder and I respect his experience. I won't plot against him.-

-I'll tell Afrar.- Jean Claude said.

-What Istar? Is he plotting? If so, better tell him to get some assistance. I don't think he plays in quite the same league as Razzle in that discipline.-

Thert laughed.

-What?- Jean Claude asked.

-Istar's no schemer.- Thert explained. -His plot would probably consist of waiting behind a corner and pouncing on Razzle unexpectedly.-

-That'd be quite unnecessary.- Jesse decided. -He'd most likely do Razzle just as much harm pouncing expectedly. He certainly won the last round easily enough.-

-Do Commanders do that? Just pounce and pummel each other like schoolboys, I mean?- Thert asked sounding quite appalled.

-Istar did it to Razzle in any case.- Jesse said with a shrug. -And Orat did me once, but it's not a daily occurrence.-

-Commander Orat?- Thert asked. -Really? I can sort of see Commander Istar do it. ... I mean, he does love to fight, but Orat always struck me as more of a talker.-

-He doesn't usually do that.- Jean Claude confirmed. -And it was part of a bigger plan. I don't know of any other occasion when he did something like that.-

-Orat hates me.- Jesse tried to explain. -The way Razzle hates ... hated Amiss actually, I think. This thing between him and Istar might actually be more on Istarsz side.-

-He refused Afrar the dorm.- Jean Claude objected.

-On my account.- Jesse returned. -He didn't think having Istar for a dorm elder would have worked out with my nightmares. He may have miscalculated, but I never expected him to just sleep through them either.-

Thert laughed.

-Commander Istar can take quite a lot.- The driver commented.

-Yes, but he doesn't tolerate as much as Razzle.- Jesse explained.

-He is a pretty laid back dorm elder most of the time.- Jean Claude agreed. -Razzle, I mean. Though when he does flip out about something ...-

-I've never seen him break anyone's bones over it.- Jesse stated. -The Fleshlings say 'Sticks and stones break my bones, but words can never harm me'.-

-The Fleshlings are fools then.- Thert replied much to Jesse's surprise. -Words can leave much deeper and more dangerous wounds than most battle injuries I've seen and since they are invisible they are almost impossible to diagnose and heal. Just take your nightmares. I can't see them. I can't touch them. I can't find the injury that caused them. It leaves one feeling quite helpless, doesn't it?-

-But my nightmares weren't caused by words.- Jesse exclaimed quite surprised. -They began with my injuries in the battle of Yuma and the latest ones are definitely due to my foot injury. I assure you Ettar didn't crush my foot with words.-

-But how can your foot make you dream?- Thert asked. -And the actual damage should be healed by now. Some muscles might still need strengthening, but mostly you just need to learn the habit of using the new foot.-

-It was the pain of the initial injury, I think.- Jesse decided. -That somehow froze the memory of that moment in my brain and now it keeps coming back. Ramszet told me his aunt had a similar experience and the dreams got rarer in time, so I guess the memories fade just like good memories do, only more slowly.-

-It's been over a year.- Jean Claude objected.

-Yes, it took many years.- Jesse explained.

-I think in that case I prefer Lutazsz method over Ramszetsz.- Jean Claude declared. -Besides, Ramszet is an idiot.-

-A very nice and loyal idiot.- Jesse amended. -I've grown quite fond of him, you know.-

-Ramszet?- Jean Claude said with disgust clear in his voice. -Really now? I mean, I got you being fond of Gattler. I get you being fond of Razzle. I can even get you being fond of Azpet. But Ramszet is taking this fondness thing too far.-

-People have friends, Commander.- Thert informed him. -Lots of them, not just one companion. That's natural.-

-Ramszet isn't my friend.- Jesse assured them both. -He's my Subcommander that doesn't meet all the requirements I have to a perfect Subcommander, but does his best to please me. All I was trying to tell Jean Claude is that I've come to realise that my expectations are unrealistic ... at least at this point in my career ... and that I found that looking at it more realistically Ramszet is a fine officer and I'm glad to have him.-

-He's a nitwit.- Jean Claude complained to Thert.

-An obedient nitwit that follows his orders to the best of his understanding. And worries about my well-being. And, if you need to know about friends, he's Azpetsz.-

-I don't.- Thert said. -I don't even ... Wait, are we talking about Afrar Keyksz son Ramszet?-

-The very idiot.- Jean Claude confirmed.

-Why, he's of the very best blood, then. A warrior line through and through. I believe Commander Istar made several attempts to hire his mother back in the day, but she wasn't interested.-

-I know he's got good connections.- Jesse said. -And I can't fault his efforts in any way either. All I ever complained about is that he isn't smart enough to be expected to handle an unexpected situation correctly by himself. That disqualifies him from taking command in my absence and with him as my only fully trained Subcommander I do feel that shortcoming. But that's alright. I do have an open Subcommander position and I'll try to fill it with someone more suitable to be second. If I can't have Urak back ... well, Afrar Irozz mentioned that it might be a good career move for Nevar and Gaspar said he's got some officers he'd like to trade. I'll find someone.-

-Whom are you trading away?- Jean Claude asked.

-One of my wing leaders, I expect. Seeing how I have only one Subcommander and need three.-

-I might want Nisse.- Jean Claude suggested. -She sounds pretty useful.-

-I also need her to babysit Jatt right now and if she does well at that I might prefer to bump her up to Subcommander once he returns to school. But feel free to make me an offer for her at that point and I'll consider it. She doesn't have the experience to go straight to second, so if you have someone who does ...-

The construction site that was to become the Elhessar clanhold was huge, but then it appeared to be intended to be only three stories high. Or at least Jesse thought what they were putting on top of it right now looked like it was supposed to be roof tiles.

-It sure has grown since the last time I was here.- Jean Claude commented to the eager construction worker that had run up to greet them the moment their car had turned off the road.-

-It's rather close to the road.- Jesse commented. -And I expect that will grow much busier than it is now once there are people actually living in the area.-

-So what?- Jean Claude asked clearly confused.

-It will be noisy. The Athez, Goura and Uthen clanholds lie much further off the main roads with nice quiet country roads leading up to them making the area nice and quiet and ensuring that the youngest children don't play too close to the traffic. You don't want any toddlers run over by speeding hovercars.-

-Good point.- The construction worker conceded. -We're going to have a wall along the road for the sound and that will be too high for children to climb, but I'll pass on that we need a gate that's too heavy for a dorm's worth of toddlers to open by themselves.-

-An adult guard should be sufficient.- Thert declared. -He can send the toddlers back to their auntie. And we'll have door guards anyway. No big deal to move one of them forward to the road.-

Jesse, well aware how well the company loving Outrider soldiers liked single man guard posts thought privately that it would probably end up being a very big deal, but decided that that was Irozz's business and not his problem.

Apparently Outriders didn't believe in construction site head protection. They were allowed to enter the building just as they were, Jean Claude taking the lead since he was the only one that had been here before.

-So, shall we start with the kittens? ... You can't come into the room with us, Thert. Too many people might upset the mother. She's wild after all.- He suggested.

-In that case I suggest we start with the ancestral hall.- Thert countered. -And then show me where the hospital wing is going to be. I'd like to take a good look at my new workplace and you two probably aren't that interested in it, so I could do that while you visit the cats.-

Jean Claude frowned, but agreed to get it over with.

He led them down a very dark and still unsecured ramp into the basement where they passed several still empty rooms their steps echoing rather unpleasantly until they finally reached a rough wooden door.

-This will be decorated with elaborate carvings as soon as all the more urgent woodwork is done.- Thert explained. -It's a pity you never saw the old one on the Warworld. It was quite the most beautiful artwork in the house.-

He opened the door and led them inside the sound of his steps suddenly disappearing, a pleasant change that nevertheless alarmed Jesse due to its sheer unexpectedness.

Another step of his own reassured him immediately, though. There was a soft carpet underfoot - well kept, but still faded enough to be identified as an old one that must have come from the Warworld with the diamonds.

The same was probably true for the tapestries that covered the walls most of them showing battle scenes ranging from depictions of half-naked Outriders going at each other with nothing but sharpened sticks in their hands to highly modern looking space battles with larger than life renegades towering in the background.

-These are all scenes from the history of our clan.- Thert explained. -They'll mean nothing to you, of course, but a clan member would recognise the tales and be able to name the ancestors killed in those battles. Their diamonds are placed close to the scenes.-

The diamonds were connected by relatively simple metal chains that hung from hooks or lay on small decorative cushions.

-The diamonds on the same chain are people who died in the same battle?- Jesse asked.

-Or at least in roughly the same year.- Thert amended. -In the early days wars used to be between individual clans leading to a much higher blood toll for a single clan than we see today, so nowadays a chain is continued until it has reached a reasonable length even if it takes several years. The chains you are looking at right now are from the very earliest days of our history, though. Nobody remembers most of these people today. The more recent dead are over here.-

Jesse looked in the direction the doctor indicated and soon noticed the still open newest chain lying on a black cushion with silver embroidery.

He reached out but remembered himself just in time before he actually picked it up.

-May I touch it?-

-Of course.- Thert told him, but stepped closer nonetheless.

The chain was cold and heavier than it looked, solid metal that would not break easily. Each diamond was accompanied by a small metal label that bore a name.

-Wherk?- Jesse read out the first one.

-Our most recent dead.- Thert explained. -He's nothing to do with you. Died of old age only days before the move here. I felt rather sorry for him getting so close to seeing this world, but failing to do it, but on the other hand I always had doubts whether he would survive the trip. He hadn't been able to get out of his bed for seven years.-

That explained why Jesse had never met him.

-Mona?- This time Jesse recognised the name. -She'd been one of the servants that had kept the old clanhold clean. A rather quiet woman that had taken great pride in her work.-

-Nothing to do with you either. She died of heart failure quite suddenly. My fault if anyone's, since I didn't notice the disease before it struck. She never complained, though, and I never thought to scan her heart.-

-Lerke?-

-A sad training accident. Quite unfortunate since she was a very promising girl.-

-Orkth?-

-Killed in battle about half a year ago.-

And then Jesse found Taiden. He ran his hand over the diamond, slightly smaller than those of the adults, before he moved on to those of the other children. That of Arz seemed so very, very small.

There was something sliding down his cheek. He wiped at it and his finger came away wet.

-I knew this wasn't a good idea.- Thert said.

-No.- Jesse told him. -No, it was. I needed to see this.-

He wasn't really sure, though. He was here, he'd felt the diamonds, but what use was it to anyone?

But would it have been any better if he'd been at the funerals to see the bodies burn? Whom would it have helped? What possible help could there be to anyone?

-Well, you have seen it.- Jean Claude said. -Let's go.-

Thert took the chain from Jesse's hand and he didn't resist. The children were dead after all. The diamonds might have been made out of their bodies, but they themselves weren't here.

Razzle had said that Cirke couldn't hear him anymore, so apparently Outriders didn't believe in the presence of the spirits of the dead anywhere in the world of the living. He'd never asked what sort of afterlife they did believe in.

Perhaps he should now, but Jean Claude was clearly impatient with the topic and the Elhessare weren't exactly religious experts. On the other hand they did worship Zzr and Thert was rather intellectually inclined.

Then again Razzle would be sure to know and be willing to talk about the topic, while Thert was already worried about Jesse's mental state.

-Alright.- He said to reassure the doctor that he was fine. -Let's see the kittens.-

Jean Claude didn't forget to take them through the house first, though. He pointed out the dining hall and some other noteworthy rooms, all still lacking the proper furniture, though the dining hall had a makeshift table and wooden benches to sit on, so the construction workers were apparently already putting it to its proper use.

The hospital wing didn't look much better.

-That won't do.- Thert muttered after they'd walked through the empty rooms once. -That won't do at all. What if one of the construction workers were to be seriously injured? We need at least some basic equipment here. I'll make a list.-

-Right. We'll leave you to it then.- Jean Claude agreed happily.

-Can we see ...- Jesse started remembering that they also needed to know what state the gym was in if they were to have the ceremony in it.

-Yes.- Jean Claude declared before he could finish, though. -Now we can finally see the kittens. That'll cheer you up.-

Ah, so Jean Claude was concerned, too.

-Of course it will.- Jesse said therefore. It wouldn't do to correct the misunderstanding and make Jean Claude wonder what could be so interesting about the gym. -I'll be fine, really. I just ... Fleshlings cry for their dead. It's just the way it is.-

-There've been too many tears over this.- Jean Claude declared. -It's been over a year. It's over and done with. And the kittens are young and full of life. Come on.-

They left the house through another door than they had entered by, crossed what appeared to be a courtyard filled with stacks of building materials and finally entered another building.

The mother cat snarled at them from her comfortable bed in one corner.

-She can't reach us as long as we stay outside the green line on the ground.- Jean Claude explained as they walked closer. -She can't walk anyway, so we decided to spare her the cage.-

A kitten's head popped up from behind her back. Another little black and brown body crawled out from under her hind leg and a moment later there were kittens everywhere.

At first they just sat there and stared at the two visitors, but when Jesse crouched down to get a more eye level look at them, they all stepped closer and one rather mottled looking individual actually padded all the way up to him.

Jesse held out his hand cautiously. Were the kittens likely to bite? Did Outriders look like food to them?

The mottled kitten sniffed at his fingers, but withdrew out of reach again when Jesse tried to touch him ... or was it a she?

-Quite brave to come up first.- Jean Claude remarked. -But I don't like those wishy-washy markings. The second one sure is a beauty, though. Look, even his leg markings are entirely even.-

Indeed two more kittens had come up by now, the black one ... and he really was entirely black. It hadn't just been the picture after all. ... and a brown one with a broad black triangle on his forehead and a somehow sneering expression to his muzzle.

Jesse once again offered his hand and the sneering kitten took a rather longer look allowing Jesse to get a good one at his protruding baby fangs in return. They already looked sharp and deadly, though they had a lot of growing left to do until they'd equal those of his mother.

-Well, do you like him?- Jean Claude prompted.

-He's pretty big, too.- Jesse praised obligingly. -I think he might be the biggest of the lot, but then some of them are crouching.-

He didn't feel like trying to pet this one, though, and then the black kitten bumped his arm with his nose and outright attempted to climb into his lap.

-Hey there, Avada!- Jesse exclaimed with a laugh and switched to a kneeling position to make it easier for him. -Oh, I do like this one. He's the special one all in black, don't you think?-

Jean Claude however was staring at him in wide-eyed shock.

-What did you just call him?- He demanded.

-Avada.- Jesse said. -That is his name, isn't it? From Avada Kedavra?- But no, wait, that couldn't be. Nobody had told him the kittens' names and how would an Outrider come up with a name from an old Fleshling children's book? -Or at least it feels like it should be.-

-Oh don't make a pet of him.- Jean Claude almost pleaded. -He's mis-coloured. That's a mayor fault. Back in the day we'd have drowned him at birth and stopped breeding his parents, but then we had plenty of other cats. I guess we'll have him neutered instead and give him to some lesser clan member, but he's no fit companion for you.-

-I'm not making a pet of him, he's making a pet of me.- Jesse pointed out leaning his cheek against Avada's soft, furry one. -And I say he's beautiful and special. Who're you to decide what colour a cat ought to be? If black ones are unusual they should be considered especially precious.-

-No really, have another look at this one. I bet he'll let you pet him too and he's absolutely perfect.-

But the absolutely perfect sneering kitten had lost all interest in Jesse and was now inspecting Jean Claude himself.

Jean Claude bent down to pet him.

Avada purred and rubbed his head against Jesse's cheek tickling him with his little tufted ear.

-Or how about that dark brown one?- Jean Claude coaxed. -Or the little reddish brown with the cute cheek stripes?-

Jesse had to agree that that one was adorable, but he still loved Avada best.

-No really, Raszt.- Jean Claude chided the sneering kitten. -You can't ...- And then he froze and stared at the kittens. -Oh no! But they can't be. It's too soon!-

-Can't be what? This cuddly? I think they're probably supposed to cuddle with each other from the moment they're born.- Jesse tried to reassure him.

Avada sure was feeling perfectly fine.

-Bonding.- Jean Claude explained. -They're ready to bond and we're the first people that came their way so they bonded with us. That's how you know Avadasz name. He picked it out of your head. And I get Raszt ... Well, that's fine. I'd rather you'd had him, but I do like him. He is one fine cat.-

Avada purred. He didn't mind that Jean Claude thought Raszt was a fine cat as long as Jesse thought that he himself was finer. Who cared about Jean Claude or Raszt anyway? Jesse and Avada were all that mattered.

-Hold on, you mean they're what? Telepatic?-

-Sort of. They don't actually talk in your head or anything. But you sort of know what they feel and they know what you feel. Whatever Avada means to you it's the closest thing to how Avada feels about himself that he found in your head.- Jean Claude explained. -That's why Cats of War tend to have such weird names.-

-Avada isn't weird.- Jesse assured him. -It's a great name for a cat. It's ... a made up name for a magic spell from an old children's book.-

-So he thinks of himself as magical? Just great.-

-He's telepathic.- Jesse pointed out. -That's pretty magical. And it's a death spell. He'll be very deadly once he grows up.-

Jean Claude just shook his head.

-We'll have to forbid the construction workers access and get the others here as quickly as possible before the bonding window closes.- He announced. -Unbonded cats aren't safe to keep as pets. And I meant to let Jatt have one if he could.-

-He ought to come here for your ceremony.- Jesse assured him. -And he hasn't sent his hair yet, so I really hope he means to come early.-

-You haven't finished the band yet?-Jean Claude sounded almost hurt.

-How could I when people wait till the last moment to send me the material? I mean, you do want me to put it all in, don't you?-

-Yes, of course. It's the most precious gift they can make me. I ... But you really should do it now. You can sew in another strand or two after it's finished if you just make it a little loose at first. You'll never finish it in only one day, though. There are all sorts of tales about disasters like that.-

Jesse nodded.

-I have started it.- He admitted. -It's much slower going than I expected, but I'll manage in time.-

-Right, then let's go and tell the construction workers.- Jean Claude straightened and started for the door.

Raszt mewled a sad protest and padded after him with suddenly clumsy steps.

-We can't leave.- Jesse said.

-We have to.- Jean Claude told him. -Think very hard that Avada has chosen to bond with you. Now he has to leave his mother and stay with you forever. That's what he chose.-

-Wait. I can't take him with me everywhere. What will Nemesis say?-

-He'll live with it. All the old Nastinesses did, too. A Cat-of-War is a mighty fighter at your side when you go into battle. ... Well, an adult one is in any case.-

Avada did not mewl when Jesse got up with him in his arms and walked out of the cat-shed. Jesse wouldn't make him embarrass himself by stumbling around as clumsily as Raszt the last moment his mother ever saw him. 


	26. Chapter 25: Kittens and their Outriders

Disclaimer 1: This is fanfic. That means I do not own any of it. I just borrow it to play with for a little while and let people see the pathetic results if they really want to.

Disclaimer 2: I'm not making any money from it. It's just for fun.

Disclaimer 3: What isn't borrowed is all made up. None of this is real or most likely at all realistic. Please don't trust any of the information in here. Most likely you know more about whatever I'm writing about than I do.

Disclaimer 4: Attitudes, views and opinions expressed by the characters or in the story are not necessarily those of the author. Even when writing Science Fiction or Fantasy I do not tend to attempt to create perfect/better worlds in which everybody gets a happy end ... or whatever is best for them. Please accept that some characters will have a bad ending or be unhappy.

Disclaimer 5: I intend no insult to anyone. If I offend anyone I'm very sorry. Please understand that it was an accident as I tend to be very clumsy in these things.

Chapter 25: Kittens and their Outriders

None of the three brothers was happy when they heard that Jean Claude was determined to take Jenny to the clanhold the next day. She hadn't trained for three days in a row now and did definitely not deserve a kitten as a reward.

On the other hand each of the three wanted a kitten of his own and there was no guarantee that Jenny would indeed get one. There were going to be more candidates than kittens giving each kitten the chance to choose its own Outrider.

After some discussion over diner Jenny did get permission for the trip on the condition that she had to train despite her headaches from now on and the spaceship was sent to Arthame for Jatt carrying Jesse's personal request for Azpet to let him leave for his special holiday early.

The cave was dark, empty and seemingly endless. Where was his query? He couldn't be far, but there was no sign of him.

And then, quite suddenly ice covered the cave walls. Jesse's hand flew to his blaster, but found only empt air.

Before he could do anything else the Ice Bird stepped around the corner. It raised it's weapons ...

... and with a blood-curdling shriek a black streak launched itself at the ship and it exploded into a cloud of dust.

The ice disappeared and the darkness with it. Avada walked up to Jesse on a neat, smooth corridor floor, purring proudly. Wasn't he the greatest fighter ever? He'd protect his Outrider against all puny monsters that dared to frighten him. There was nothing to fear.

The ship bringing Jatt had been expected to arrive during the night, but when Jesse arrived at breakfast the next morning he was informed that it hadn't arrived, yet. Istar had gone out to the spaceport in person to find out what was going on.

Two hours passed before Irozz finally got up and told all the chosen kitten candidates still present to get into the cars. While Jean Claude and Athe argued with him whether or not they shouldn't recall Istar from the space-port so at least he could have his chance at a kitten Jesse managed to pull Jensz aside.

-Thert managed to see the hospital wing yesterday, but I couldn't ask for the gym without seeming suspicious. Try to get a look at it today, okay?- He hissed at her hastily.

-What alone?- She returned. -While the others are getting their cats? I want my chance, too. Can't you do it? You already have yours.-

-And am therefore not invited on this trip. Avada and I are staying here to work on the wristband.-

Jensz frowned down at the kitten that was busy trying to catch his own tail by Jesse's feet.

-I'd like to see him try. Watch out that he doesn't swipe your crutches out from under you.- She advised.

-Jensz! Are you coming or not? We're leaving!- Jenny yelled from somewhere near the door.

-I'm coming!- Jensz replied.

-Please try.- Jesse pushed. -Just a quick look to check that it's usable. We can bring everything we need, but there has to be a roof in case of bad weather, functional lighting and no building materials blocking the door or something.-

-I'll see what I can do, but not at the price of giving up on my chance to get a kitten.- Jensz said hastily and rushed after the others.

Jesse sighed and made his way over to Thert who was standing by the door staring out.

-I'm sorry you didn't get chosen.- He told the doctor honestly.

-I never could have been a consideration.- Thert returned. -I'm surprised Jensz was. These are warrior pets and we don't have enough to go around.-

-I think you'd have made a good candidate.- Jesse told him. -And it might have been a good idea not to risk all the cats by sending them off to war. You ...-

A motor stopped suddenly just outside the door, a car door slammed and a moment later the door slid open again revealing Istar and Jatt coming up the stairs.

-What happened?- Jesse asked them. -No, don't bother going in, the other cars just left. You'd better get right back into yours and follow them.-

-Kieste's a fucking bastard.- Jatt declared. -That's what happened. He refused to honour your request because it was addressed to Azpet.-

-Kieste?- Jesse asked nonplussed. -What does he have to do with anything?-

-Nemesis assigned him to command your troops in your absence.- Istar explained. -He didn't think Azpet was appropriate.-

-Well, he isn't, but I thought Razzle would keep him there anyway. Jatt is even less appropriate and Ramszet can't do it.-

-Oh, he tried alright, but he sure lost this round in every way. Just goes to show, I guess, nobody's invincible in politics.- Jatt announced happily. -But it all worked out fine for us. I got my permission from Nemesis himself and Azpet did get a great recommendation plus the whole thing brought him to His Nastiness' personal attention.-

-I'll have to apologise to Kieste, though.- Jesse decided. -I didn't mean to slight ...-

-Oh, is that your kitten? Afrar said you had weird taste, but I got to agree, all black does look kind of special.-

-You can admire the miscoloured runt tonight.- Istar snapped. -Now get back in the car so we can see the proper kittens.-

Jatt shrugged helplessly at Jesse and moved to comply.

-Go get one of your own.- Jesse called after him. -They're all worth having.-

Moments later the hovercar dashed off again. Avada looked after it looking rather contemplative, then turned around and butted his head against Jesse's leg.

-He's thirsty.- Jesse declared somewhat astonished. -Does he mean he wants more milk or is he old enough to want water?-

Thert shrugged.

-For all I know they ought to be eating solid food and drinking water by the time they bond.- Thert replied. -But his teeth aren't up to that, yet. I don't think water can hurt him in any way, though. Let's give him some and see what he does.-

What Avada did was look quite puzzled at first, but then lick at the unfamiliar substance and decide that it was acceptable. Luckily he'd had milk substitute from a bowl before and knew how to use it without splashing it all over the floor.

-Perhaps we should try offering him some cut up meat.- Thert declared when he saw that. -Maybe that is what those old texts actually meant the newly bonded kittens ate.-

-Do we have any meat to try with?- Jesse asked a little doubtfully. -And how about trying that on Raszt since we've just experimented on Avada. I'd rather not upset his stomach twice over in one day.-

Besides Avada wasn't a bit hungry after his drink. He stretched, yawned and climbed into Jesse's lap again where he curled up purring happily.

Jesse hugged him close, smiled and wondered how to get at his wristband making materials without upsetting the happy kitten.

The kitten expedition didn't return until the evening giving Jesse a chance to make good progress on the wristband and figure out exactly where Avada liked to be scratched the most. Despite the recent separation from his mother the kitten seemed all around happy with his new circumstances and was already moving a lot less clumsily on stairs and around furniture.

The first thing Jesse saw of the returnees was Jensz who burst into the room unannounced.

-Look! Isn't he absolutely perfect?-

He appeared to be the mottled kitten that had inspected Jesse first the day before, but had failed to stir up sufficient enthusiasm for his looks in either him or Jean Claude.

-He's a courageous little fellow.- Jesse commented politely. -And congratulations on gaining a cat.-

-Congratulations indeed. I was the very first to be chosen. Noszt walked straight up to me and bonded. He knew exactly what he wanted.-

-Like I said, courageous.- Jesse repeated. -Did you see the gym, too?-

-Yes, I told them I'd take Noszt there to give the others more room with the remaining kittens and explore the bond in peace. The place is pretty empty, but functional. We don't have to bring chairs, though, we can eat in the dining hall.-

-I thought we'd eat outside if we could.- Jesse said. -And sit on the ground.-

-Jesse? Jesse, I got Says, look!- Apparently Jenny had not the slightest hint of a headache today.

Says turned out to be the pretty kitten with the cheek stripes formerly referred to as 'the little one'.

-Oh, I bet a lot of other children will envy you that one.- Jesse commented.

-Our Afrar is quite disappointed that Jenny only got the runt of the litter, though.- Jensz commented.

-I like her.- Jenny countered. -She's perfectly marked and will be good breeding stock anyway. And she won't stay this small. Just wait how she'll grow now that she's got me to feed her.-

-And which kitten did Istar get?- Jesse asked them.

-None at all.- Jensz told him. -They wouldn't even sniff his hand. For some reason he was the least interesting person in that room.-

Jesse grinned at that. Istar must be furious right now.

-Then I wouldn't take his runt comment too seriously. He's probably just mad that he didn't get her himself. I guess they aren't necessarily warriors' pets after all. You should have taken Thert along.-

-That'd only have made him madder.- Jenny said. -He isn't even a Cat-of-War.-

-Maybe he just came too late?- Jesse suggested an excuse.

-No, they caught up with us outside the house and we all went in together.- Jensz reported. -And Jatt got one, too, in any case, though it took her ages to make up her mind.-

-Oh, which one did he get?- Jesse asked.

-The quiet dark brown one ... with the thinner stripes. She calls herself Slinker. They think she'll be good breeding stock, too.- Jensz said with a sigh. -They're not sure they want to breed Noszt.-

-They should.- Jesse said. -Having several different lines will be better in the long run and you don't have enough cats to just discard some, yet.-

-His markings aren't clear.- Jensz explained. -Even if he has the finest build you can imagine and the best character. He's perfect to me anyway. ... But I guess you know. You got the real reject. I think if he hadn't bonded with you Jean Claude might have decided to drown yours.-

Avada jumped up with a hiss.

-He wouldn't dare!- Jesse hissed angrily. -I gave him that cat because I thought her kittens would be appreciated and cared for. All her kittens.-

-Oh, he wouldn't dream of it now, but he still wants those genes out of the breed.- Jensz assured him.

-It's stupid.- Jenny declared suddenly. -Like not letting scientists have children, because you're a noble clan and want everybody to be soldiers. And then you run out of scientists someday.-

-We're not running out of scientists.- Jensz said. -And I bet you I can get permission to have a child once I find the right man for the job ... even if he is a scientist.-

-Maybe we can just send all the black kittens to Varen now.- Jenny mused. -I bet Cain will want a cat just like Jessesz, never mind what Afrar thinks a cat should look like. Maybe they can become the Arthez signature pet.-

-We can't send anything to Varen right now.- Jesse pointed out.

He wasn't sure why, but he disliked Jenny's suggestion.

-How is your head today?- Jensz asked the girl.

-Fine.- Jenny declared and Says purred happily as if to agree.

-Well then, why don't you go and tell Uncle that you can train now?- Jensz suggested. -It would please both him and Afrar.-

-Afrar's already returned to the base.- Jenny returned. -And I have to show Says the house. Come on, Says!-

It got rid of her well enough, but it wasn't going to please anyone, probably not even her kitten. At least Jesse didn't think the kittens were old enough to appreciate such a long walking tour, not to mention all the stairs.

Jesse glanced at his own kitten. Avada hadn't seen the whole house yet, either.

-Do you want to see the house?- He asked him.

Avada looked up at him, blinked, stretched, yawned and curled up again.

-We need to make a list of everything we'll need to bring to the clanhold for the ceremony.- Jensz said. -But not right now. Jean Claude could come in any moment.-

-Right.- Jesse agreed. -We also need a way to take all that stuff along without Jean Claude seeing what it is or he'll figure out exactly what we're planning.-

-Oh, that's no problem. We have to set up first anyway. We'll leave early with all the stuff and leave a car behind to take Jean Claude later. All we ...-

The door swished open causing her to stop abruptly mid sentence, but it was only Jatt with little brown Slinker in his arms come to show off his kitten.

-Don't spoil her too much.- Jensz advised him promptly.

-She's tired.- Jatt explained. -She's never walked this far before. But isn't she magnificent? I bet she'll be the spitting image of her mother when she grows up.-

-Jensz has a point, though.- Jesse said lightly. -Your elders aren't exactly pleased with the story of you and the mother cat. You don't want them to decide you're too soft to make a good weapons master, do you?-

Jatt shrugged.

-So they'll make me Afrar instead.- He said. -There's only two of us, so they don't have much choice.-

-There is still Jenny.- Jesse pointed out. -Do you prefer Afrar then?-

Jatt looked surprised at the question, then shrugged again.

-I don't know. It's got more prestige outside the clan, but in the end the weapons master is more important. I don't get a say in which one I get, though, so what's the use in wondering about it?-

-Just curious.- Jesse said lightly. -You are an ambitious fellow where your army career is concerned, so I thought you might be in this as well.-

-I ... 'm not so sure about those ambitions anymore.- Jatt muttered. -I ...-

-You?- Jesse prompted.

Jatt sat down beside him cuddling Slinker to his chest.

-I'm really good at the Academy. Always top of the physical classes and usually in the top twenty everywhere else. And I don't have to try all that hard to do it either. I mean ... I never take the really hard classes and I do study a bit, but I know a lot of others that work a lot harder and none of them beat me in everything.- He explained.

-So, you think that's not ambitious enough?- Jesse asked. -I mean, obviously you're no Razzle, but you still are eager to make a name for yourself.-

-I wouldn't want to be Razzle.- Jatt stated in an almost offended tone. -Never did, never will.-

-I meant for level of ambition.- Jesse explained. -Razzle's the most ambitious fellow I know and he took all the hardest classes and worked to top them all. You're not that extreme, but then you have the advantage of your birth. You don't have to top everything to be considered for Commander. People will do that just for your pedigree.-

-Yes well, maybe.- Jatt allowed. -And maybe I only thought I want to become one because of my pedigree as well. Or maybe I thought so because I was doing so well in my classes. I thought I'd do well in the army as well. I thought it'd be easy. It isn't.-

-No, it isn't.- Jesse confirmed. -You haven't completed your training and it's always different under real fire with real lives on the line. War is no controlled classroom exercise and no classroom exercise can really simulate it.-

-You didn't have all the training either.- Jatt pointed out. -And you never messed up like that. ... Well, I mean, there was Yuma, but ... at least that was grand. I just mess up every little thing.-

Jesse winced.

-It didn't feel that grand. And I messed up enough before that. In a different way from you, but I'm lucky that happened on a very small scale and nobody noticed.-

-Well, I messed up big enough for everybody to know so I probably won't have much of a career now anyway.- Jatt said. -So it really doesn't matter anymore.-

-You messed up in a really funny way and everybody's talking about it now.- Jesse told him. -But you haven't started your career yet. When this is all over you'll go back to school. You'll be out of everybody's sight for a few years finishing your training. By the time you graduate and start your career they'll have forgotten the funny little incident and you don't need to point it out to anyone. You'll be newly graduated so nobody will think to ask whether you've been in battle before. They'll expect that you haven't. You won't have the advantage you meant to get by applying to me, but there won't be a disadvantage either. You'll start on equal footing with everybody else ... except for having topped some of your classes and having more Commanders among your relatives than the other new graduates. You'll even still have an advantage there. You'll get your grand career just fine.-

-But should I? Will I ever be good enough? What if I just keep messing up? I should have been able to set up a prison camp and write duty schedules. Those aren't hard tasks.-

-You did do both.- Jesse replied slightly confused. -The prison camp was perfectly adequate.-

-Razzle ordered changes to it after you left.- Jatt admitted. -Partitions and an extension and more guards ...-

Jesse hadn't known that, but ...

-Probably because there were more prisoners and it was too small to handle them all?- He guessed. -We only had some suspected spies when you set it up, but I'd expect after the battle we also had a lot of soldiers. Of course those require more guards. They might have attacked and overcome the few men that were perfectly adequate to guard a handful of harvest workers.-

-But, shouldn't I have set the camp up to receive more prisoners? Shouldn't the guards already have been there?-

-When they were entirely unnecessary for the number of prisoners actually there?- Jesse countered. -Those additional guards could be used more efficiently elsewhere until they were actually required. Maybe you underestimated the size of the camp we needed, but then we had no thought of catching them in a cave yet at the time you set it up so you couldn't be expected to predict how many prisoners we'd be likely to take then. Your camp was fine. Razzle adapted it to a changed situation. Did he criticise you when he did?-

-Not that I heard.- Jatt said.

-The he didn't.- Jesse stated. -If he thought you'd made a mistake, he'd have made sure to tell you so you wouldn't repeat it. He's been working with recruits straight out of the Academy for decades. He knows how to make them as efficient as possible as quickly as possible.-

-It was still Kieste that made most of the decisions when we set up the camp.-

-Of course.- Jesse said. -He's more experienced. He's probably done it before and doesn't have to think about it as much as you do. Did he criticise you?-

-Not that I heard.-

-Then he probably didn't, but ... ask Ramszet or Azpet. They'd probably have heard if he did grumble unofficially. I wouldn't, because I'd have been the official address to turn to. As far as I know you did your job as well as could be expected there.-

-Kieste was still there to prevent all mistakes.- Jatt said. -And Azpet went over and corrected every schedule I made before he passed them on to you.-

-That doesn't mean anything.- Jesse assured him though it was actually significant if it had indeed been necessary. -He does the same for Ramszet and Ramszet is a fine officer.-

-That's not what you usually say about him.-

-He's not fit to be second in command and unfortunately I don't have anybody else to take that job at the moment. That made me a bit impatient with him during the Arthame campaign.- Jesse claimed. -In his proper place I'm happy to have him.-

-If he's not fit to be second, though, he's not fit to be Commander either, isn't he?- Jatt asked.

-He isn't.- Jesse confirmed. -You probably noticed that he is ... rather stupid. He can't keep track of more than two or three things at a time. A Commander needs to keep all his own units and those of the enemy in mind at all times. He can't. What's that to do with you, though?-

-Well, I needed the same corrections as Ramszet, so I'm no better than he is.-

-Jatt, if you were as good as Ramszet right now, I'd be really, really pleased with you! At this point he is a better Subcommander than you can hope to be.-

Jatt hung his head.

-See, that's exactly what I meant. I'm no good as a Subcommander, so how dared I hope to become a Commander.-

-He is better than you at it, because he is fully trained and has several years of experience. You still need to catch up on both. But Ramszet has also reached his full potential. He'll never get any better than he is now. You're nowhere near reaching yours. ... And you can use a holoprojector, right?-

-Well, yes.- Jatt allowed.

-See, then there is at least one thing you already can do better than Ramszet.-

The kittens were a sensation wherever they went, of course, and thus not even sitting with the elders was relaxing anymore now that Avada was with Jesse wherever he went.

Leaving the kitten behind, however, was absolutely unthinkable. Jesse was the centre of Avada's world and he was terrified whenever he couldn't see him.

At least the wristband weaving turned out to be a good excuse to withdraw from company. Only Jensz seemed at all interested in joining Jesse in that task and she had a kitten of her own to pet and coo over.

Avada, after an initial period of surprised enjoyment, had decided that he didn't much care for cooing and preferred his petting to come from Jesse and not any random stranger.

Perhaps, Jesse thought, the kitten had picked the realisation out of his mind that Jesse did not actually belong to this clan and was therefore determined to keep a proper distance from its members. The only way to test the theory, of course, would have been to introduce Avada to another Arthez and since there were no Artheze available this was currently impossible.

Maybe someday when this war was over. It did have to end someday. All wars did.

He rather wished that it already were over, though. Yes, he was out of it for the moment and hadn't had much chance to do anything to prove himself by, but for once he didn't really feel like furthering his career. He'd much rather have an end to the insecurity.

Perhaps it was the threat the war constituted to this new world he'd made himself at home in. Gattler was already dead and if the rebels won most likely they'd kill Nemesis, Jean Claude and even Istar as well. Maybe even Irozz.

And Razzle. Point, Gaspar ... Whom would they leave alive?

The risk to his own life was probably negligible if he wasn't killed in battle. He wasn't old blood and could be integrated into the new order. Hiretz and Laxus certainly would lobby for that and he suspected his former dormmates would support them. If Ettar was at all aware of his lack of strategists he'd be more interested in turning Jesse to his side than killing him. He was the youngest strategist available and the only one not of an old blood noble house. Razzle and Lutaz would both hate Ettar and they were too old to remain useful for very long.

Could he handle working for or with Ettar, though? The man figured in more of his nightmares than fire did now. Of course that situation couldn't last forever, but could he handle seeing him around every day until the nightmares faded away?

Avada's growl interrupted his thoughts. For no apparent reason the kitten looked murderous right now and Jesse could feel his burning anger through their link.

-What's wrong, little one?- He asked the kitten. -Are you bored? Did Noszt steal your toy away?-

-Nostz didn't do anything.- Jensz protested. -You never gave him any toys.-

-He might still have found something to play with.- Jesse explained. -He's angry in any case, really angry.-

-Nonsense.- Jensz declared. -Why would he be? Nostz is perfectly happy. ... Most likely Avada is just hungry.-

They took the kittens to the kitchen for some milk and Avada did drink a little, but didn't seem all that interested. Jesse still was convinced that what Avada had been feeling was anger even though the feeling had long passed by the time they reached the kitchen.

-It hurts.- Cirke said. -Why ... Oh, you've got a cat just like Itzsz! His cats are really cool, aren't they?-

-Yes.- Jesse said leaning down to rub Avada's ears. -He does have good taste in pets.-

-Can I pet him?- Cirke asked. -I've always wanted to pet one of Itzsz cats.-

Somehow they managed to get all the preparations for the ceremony done in time for Jean Claude's birthday and even the weather seemed determined to make the day absolutely perfect. Jesse woke up to a perfect cloudless sky and bright sunshine.

Avada was feeling excited and full of energy and Raszt and Zpat, too, looked happy and eager to start the day.

Only Afrar Irozz's little Chraszt appeared to be a little cranky, but he wasn't going to join the party anywy.

When Jesse and Avada arrived at breakfast they found Noszt and Slinker racing about the room happily and Jesse felt content and reassured that everything would go exactly to plan, even if he still thought that the plan was a little one-sided and boring.

He was already halfway through his food when Jenny and Says padded in - feet and tail dragging and looking half asleep.

Neither glanced over at the adults or the other kittens on their way to Jenny's usual seat at the children's table, but Noszt always playful and eager bounded over and greeted Says with a pounce.

Says ducked away and crawled under the bench wedging her head between Jenny's feet.

Jesse frowned. Says was the smallest of the litter and usually lost their wrestling matches, but so far she'd always seemed willing enough to play especially when she could wriggle out and turn the game into a chase. This didn't look like an invitation to chase her, though.

-Could there be anything wrong with Says?- He asked Thert.

-Huh?- Athe asked. -Why would there be?-

-She doesn't seem to want to play.- Jesse told her. -Look, she's hiding under the bench.-

-She was perfectly fine last time I checked her.- Thert assured him. -Gaining weight beautifully. She probably just doesn't want to bounce about on a full stomach.-

At least the kittens were supposed to get a bowl of milk first thing in the morning before their Outriders took their showers. As tired as Jenny appeared, though, perhaps she had overslept and skipped feeding Says and showering in order to get to breakfast on time? After all she was supposed to be part of the party that was to depart for the clanhold in lass than half an hour.

On the other hand she was so determined to feed Says into catching up with the other kittens that Jesse doubted she'd neglect that duty so soon.

Jenny was still at the table when they were to depart and so Jesse sent Jensz to fetch her while he supervised the loading of the food supplies.

This was accomplished much more efficiently than he had expected and soon everybody was onboard except ... Jensz and Jenny. Where were they? Jenny might be just a child, but Jensz surely knew that every moment they delayed increased the risk that Jean Claude would notice their departure.

Irstz had volunteered to keep Jean Claude distracted for two hours and then bring him to the clanhold, but while someone not being in sight might easily be explained away in such a big house it would be hard to prevent Jean Claude from glancing out the window and noticing a row of hovercars waiting outside the house.

Several minutes passed before the sisters appeared with their kittens, Jenny and Says still dragging along rather miserably.

Jesse signalled for the first car to depart and waved at Jensz to hurry up and join him in his.

Noszt bounded in excitedly right away and Jensz followed quickly, but Jenny took much longer to climb in and Jesse had to grab Says by the scruff and lift her inside.

-What's the matter with you two today?- He asked Jenny. -I saw that kitten bound up a flight of stairs as if it were nothing yesterday. This isn't that much higher.-

-I think she just thinks that I should stay home.- Jenny replied sounding rather miserable. -I have a terrible headache.-

Jesse hesitated. Should he leave her behind?

The third car was gliding off now. Any moment it would be their turn. If Jenny was to get out again she had to do it now.

-Thert said she should go.- Jensz said. -She doesn't have to bounce about and play if she doesn't feel like it and the headache might go away in an hour or two anyway. Then you'd be sorry you didn't go. Jean Claude will never have another birthday ceremony and it'll be years before Jattsz next.-

Jenny sighed.

-It's just that cars bump up and down so much and it's so bright outside. That hurts.- Jenny complained.

-Close your eyes then.- Their driver advised. -And I'll try to bump as little as possible.-

Jenny sighed and complied, but Jesse was left wishing they had brought Thert along in the car so they could discuss this new development right away. He'd been so convinced that Jenny's headaches had been a conscious or subconscious attempt to get out of the brutal training and being forced into the Warrior Academy when they had apparently disappeared as soon as she'd learned that she'd have to train anyway.

Them returning on this of all days, however, didn't fit that theory at all. Jenny had been looking forward to the ceremony. She loved excursions to the clanhold and had never been to a picnic before. She had every reason to want to go.

Unless something else had come up unexpectedly.

-Will there be anything special going on at the townhouse today?- He asked Jensz.

-At the townhouse? No, why would it. We planned it all for the clanhold, remember?-

-Oh yes, our event for Jean Claude, of course.- Jesse confirmed. -But I just thought that those not included must feel disappointed to miss out and with so many of us gone, maybe they'd arrange an event of their own. Eating outside, dancing, some special desert maybe?-

Jensz shrugged.

-Not that I've heard.- She said. -It's not customary either, but I guess they could rearrange the seating order to give them one less table at lunch. I don't think that would make enough room for dancing, but the children could use it to have a costume play.-

-Costume play?- Jesse asked. That didn't sound like anything he'd ever seen Outriders do.

-It's an awfully silly childish entertainment.- Jensz explained. -But fun for the children and the elders and parents do love to watch them enjoy themselves. And it's hilarious fun when one's drunk. ... Er ... you won't want to try that, though. Best wait until you have children of your own and let them show you then. You won't like it before that.-

Jesse nodded.

-I'm not disappointed to miss it.- He assured Jensz. -The ceremony is much more interesting and important. I'm just wondering about those not invited. Have you heard whether they have any plans to have a play or something, Jenny?-

-No, nothing.- Jenny replied sounding quite disinterested. -I think they'll just spend the day gaping at the two remaining kittens.-

Says gave a rather plaintive mew at that and Avada promptly nuzzled her, but she didn't react.

-Looks like Says is feeling Jennysz headache, too.- Jensz remarked. -That is interesting. I thought they felt ... feelings, not pains. You know the sort that are more in your head than your body ... I mean ...-

-Emotions.- Jesse supplied. -That's what Razzle calls the things I think you mean in any case.-

-Emo...- Jensz echoed. -Oh, I am glad the Old Bastard didn't come. I'll have to look that one up.-

-Why?- Jesse asked quite surprised. -Wouldn't it be easier if he were here to ask?-

-But then he'd know that I don't know the word.- Jensz explained.

-So what? It doesn't seem to bother anybody else that they don't recognise his words.- Well, it did bother them when Jesse used them to the point where they couldn't understand him, but not really that they didn't have the vocabulary.

-It doesn't bother warriors.- Jensz corrected. -Scientists need more exact words than you do. ... He'd have made a good scientist, you know. He's got everything it takes. And that's not me saying so. It's the older scientists that really know him.-

-Who, Razzle?- Jesse guessed.

-Yes, Razzle. Impossible, unbearable bastard Razzle. Everybody wants him despite his personality. It seems so unfair sometimes.-

-He's the most valuable Commander we've got.- Jesse told her. -I don't think it would have been wise to let him become a scientist ... Not that I don't appreciate science. What you do is just as important as what we do, but Razzle has a very rare talent that ...Well, he says Lutaz and I are the only other living Commanders that have it and Lutaz is retired and I lack experience in using it. Then there's Azpet who lacks the training to use it at all and ... well, we're hoping the Academy will give us a few even less experienced talents soon so Razzle can teach them how to use it before he retires. Just imagine if he'd become a scientist. It'd all be up to me and I'm not even twenty, yet.-

Jensz snorted.

-What?-

-Just imagining you teaching a final year officers course class. All the students would be older and taller than you are ... Not that I don't think you could do it. It'd just look awfully funny.-

-I don't know. I never wanted to be a teacher. And who'd command my troops if I were teaching and Razzle being a scientist?-

-Commander Lutaz?- Jenny suggested. -You said he has the talent.-

-I think he'd better teach the course.- Jesse decided. -That'd make more sense. ... Maybe we should suggest that to him and Nemesis. I'm sure somebody else could be found to teach Medicine at officers' training level and it might help us identify hidden talents that we need desperately.-

-Maybe Afrar could help teach it.- Jenny said.

-Istar?- Jesse gasped. -Which one, Medicine or Strategy?-

Jensz laughed.

-Neither.- She confirmed. -He doesn't know the first thing about either.-

-Or did you mean Irozz?- Jesse realised. -He's got a good grasp of political strategy at least. Some of that might transfer to military strategy well enough to give a basic introduction.-

-He wouldn't teach.- Jensz declared. -He has to lead the clan and represent us on the council. Besides Lutaz is a military strategist, isn't he? He's a much better choice.-

Jesse nodded.

-I can't imagine why they're using him to teach Medicine in the first place. I'd be so much wiser to use a proper doctor and I think we have plenty of those. One that isn't particularly good at surgery or with patients, but understands medical basics well enough would be well enough versed in everything med officers need to learn without being sorely missed anywhere else.- He mused.

-His Nastiness won't see it that way.- Jensz stated.

-Why not?- Jesse asked quite surprised.

-He likes to have as many doctors in the army as possible.- Jensz explained. -It ... well, there was a shortage of them under Amiss and it hit Mithgath hard.-

-Why?- Jesse asked again not seeing the connection. -I know Nemesis intended to become a doctor, but ... well, actually I don't know why he joined the army instead. A similar case as Jennysz?-

-No, much more tragic than that.- Jensz replied. -As I said, his clan was hit hard by the shortage of doctors. Three of his grandparents died of wounds that couldn't be treated in time, both his parents were crippled. Mithgath was all in favour of having more doctors and when Nemesisz teacher agreed that the Science Academy would suit him better they were happy to support his career choice. But then their bad luck continued and they were running out of active soldiers and when on top of it all Nestor died ... Nestor was their most promising child. They had high hopes that he'd become His Nastiness someday, but he never lived to go to the Academy, so Nemesis had to take his place. They just couldn't afford to let noble born children train as anything else at the time. So, you see, he likes to have more doctors than necessary. I suppose he thinks he owes that to his soldiers.-

-Alright.- Jesse said pretending not to find the story particularly interesting so Jensz wouldn't realise she'd given away private information about Nemesis. -Then I'll suggest using a spare house doctor. Surely there are Old Blood clans with two or three at home? Uthen has enough to run a private hospital.-

Jensz shrugged.

-We're looking for a child with the right talents to succeed Thert.- She admitted. -And there's a rumour going around that we'll train up two so both the townhouse and the clanhold will have one in residence at all times. But we don't have a spare or even one at the Academy now.-

-Thert's pretty young.- Jesse agreed. -A clan with an old doctor would probably have the successor fully trained and sitting around with nothing to do, though. And a doctor in residence in a townhouse might teach at the Academy on the side. It will be close enough.-

Jensz shrugged.

-It depends on the Afrare, I guess. I'm not sure Afrar Irozz would let Thert do it, but I guess if he does train up two more we'd have one in each house and a spare. The spare could be assigned to the townhouse until he's needed.-

-Will I have to keep three diaries then?- Jenny asked a little plaintively.

-Diaries?- Jensz asked nonplussed.

Jesse laughed.

-No, the diary is to help Thert diagnose your headaches. You won't have to keep it anymore after he does. And since your future junior doctors aren't even at the Academy yet that'll happen long before you'll have three doctors.-

-I sure hope so.- Jenny mumbled. -I hate the headaches.- 


	27. Chapter 26: Kitten Claws

Chapter 26: Kitten Claws

The moment they arrived at the clanhold everything got very hectic. After all all preparations had to be complete when Jean Claude arrived.

By the time Jesse had everybody else organised and sent the group with the medical equipment on their way Jenny had disappeared. It was probably for the best, though. All this running around and shouting had to have been painful to her and it was still a very bright day. Most likely she'd found a dark corner somewhere out of the way where she could sit and rest until Jean Claude came and the actual celebration began.

Jesse went to the gym to oversee preparations there. The place looked much better with a few house banners hanging from the walls and an obstacle course set up, but it still didn't look like proper birthday party decorations to Jesse. Cain's necklaceing had come much closer to his expectations, though, of course, that had been a child's party. He supposed it wouldn't be appropriate to have colourful garlands, mixed sweet fruits and plastic renegades for a thirtieth birthday.

Avada stalked around the room, sniffed at every banner and then tried some of the obstacles, though he failed to find the correct course. Being much shorter than Jean Claude and walking on four legs he could go under and between some of them easily where ... well, Jean Claude wasn't expected to. It would be possible to drop to the ground and roll under some of them, though.

Jesse eyed those places thoughtfully and wondered whether they should do something to plug the holes, but on the other hand it'd make the event a little more interesting if some of the attacks didn't go quite as planned.

-Right, so I'll be sitting over there until Jean Claude completes the obstacle course?- He asked.

There was a chair there and a small side table next to it.

-Yes.- Jensz confirmed. -Do you have the wristband?-

-Right here.- Jesse held up the little box for her to see. -And yes, I remember the formal words. We practised them often enough.-

He just felt awfully silly every time he said them, and wasn't quite sure what he was actually saying since some of the words were so antiquated even Irstz had admitted to not knowing exactly what they were or when they had even been in use. Another thing Jesse would have loved to ask Razzle. Razzle had arranged birthday ceremonies and given wristbands before. Surely he must have wondered about the words then as well and unlike Jesse Razzle probably hadn't been limited to the Elhessar library and rather random computer searches at the time. If the information was anywhere to be found, he'd probably found it.

-Can you find me another chair and put it next to mine?- He asked Jensz. -If Jennysz head doesn't get better in the next half an hour or so, she will probably want to sit, too.-

-Of course. It'll also make it look less awkward if there's a group of sitting people.- Jensz agreed. -Tell you what: I'll get two more chairs and we'll make the nurse sit, too. ... And maybe another for Irstz, since he isn't to attack either? Can we get him past the course to watch with you somehow?-

-That would be rather awkward.- Jesse replied after a moment. -What's to stop Jean Claude from taking the same route bypassing all his attackers?-

-Why would he want to do that?- Torr asked sounding quite perplexed.

-Well, it would be very clever fighting in a way.- Jensz pointed out. -Or quite the prank. I don't think Jean Claude would want to ruin his own ceremony, but Jenny might do a thing like that.-

-I might, too.- Jesse admitted. -Let's keep it simple and have Irstz wait by the door as we planned. There's no time left to inform him of the change of plan anyway. They must already be on their way here by now.-

This reminder led to another burst of frantic activity and in moments all was in readiness. Jesse sat down in his chair and put his box on the table. Avada gave him a quizzical look, then settled beside the chair to guard the crutches.

The nurse and the guests detailed to assist him returned only moments later to report that the sick bay was fully equipped for everything short of a life-threatening injury.

-One could even perform minor surgery there.- He assured Jesse. -Though, I'm not qualified to perform surgery. Technically I'm a paediatric nurse ... but I've got lots of experience with training injuries, no worries there.-

-No worries.- Jesse confirmed. -Thert wouldn't have chosen you if you weren't fully qualified to deal with everything we're likely to encounter. And most likely we won't need the equipment anyway. It's just a safety precaution, so do sit down and enjoy the show.-

-Really? You'd let me watch from up front?-

-Best seats in the house.- Jesse told him. -Or rather the only ones in the gym. And it might be the most useful place for you, too. The third chair's for Jenny, because she has another headache and should sit still until it goes away.-

-Should I get her some headache medicine?-

-Does Thert usually give her any? I've never seen her take it, nor heard her ask for it.-

The nurse shrugged.

-I haven't been briefed on her needs. I wasn't expecting to need to nurse her since Thert always tends to her himself and she doesn't require bedrest. The medicine is perfectly harmless, though. Just the simple stuff you give any child that complains of some mild ache.-

-Can you bring the bottle, but not pour any out, yet?- Jesse suggested. -Then we can ask her whether it's any use before we waste good medicine. Maybe she hasn't asked for it because she already knows it's ineffective.-

-It's good medicine.- The nurse protested.

-Of course, but Jennysz headaches aren't your usual mild ache or else Thert wouldn't have such trouble diagnosing them. ... Where is she anyway?-

By now even the group that had been preparing the picnic had returned and everybody was in his or her place waiting for Jean Claude.

-Jensz!- Jesse shouted out to her across the room. -Where's Jenny?-

-I don't know!- The rather frantic answer came back. -I can't look for her now. I'm up second, remember?-

-I'll go.- The nurse volunteered. -Don't worry if we're gone for a while. I might just take her to sick bay and give her the medicine there before bringing her in here.-

-Good idea.- Jesse decided. -We don't need you rushing in and out twice during the ceremony.-

The nurse slipped away and the waiting began.

At first there was excited silence, but after a while people began to fidget.

Jesse entertained himself by observing who could and couldn't wait quietly.

Jensz couldn't, but that was hardly unexpected. She'd been trained to fight, but she was no soldier. Jesse supposed scientists probably entertained themselves by reading up on other people's results while they waited for those of their own tests. They didn't just sit still and wait for an enemy that might or might not come.

Torr and Jatt could even less. None of the young soldiers or Academy students could. It reminded him of what Gaspar had said about young soldiers and waiting games. Clearly it had been good advice.

They should have used Torr to bring Jean Claude. Jean Claude's oldest soldiers that had had to be fitted into the ceremony so hurriedly after their transfer to Rukkat were completely relaxed and Irstz was even older than they. Besides, he was the spider in the web. Spiders could wait.

Avada's tail tip twitched slightly, but apparently kittens were more patient than Outrider children.

Thinking of children: Where were Jenny and the nurse? Surely they'd had enough time for one little dose of medicine now?

Or was he allowing impatience to overcome him as well? He might be younger than most others here, but he was every bit as much a veteran as Jean Claude's spies. He could wait calmly. Of course he could. He'd done it before often enough.

But, he had to admit to himself, he'd never done guard duty. He'd jumped the ranks and started at the top after all. As a Commander you could almost always busy yourself with other work. Not this time, though, and not in future, he told himself. He would make himself learn to wait.

Avada's whole tail was twitching now and he jumped up when the nurse finally arrived with Jenny.

They entered quite carefully apparently expecting the ceremony to already be under way.

Jesse waved them over.

-We're still waiting. They should be here any moment now.- He explained when they arrived and took their seats. -Did you take your medicine?-

-Medicine?- Jenny asked. -What medicine?-

-The headache medicine?- Jesse reminded her.

Was that medicine mind numbing or could that be another symptom of the headaches themselves?

-No.- The nurse intervened. -It doesn't work. You were right to suspect that. I could give her something to help her sleep through it, but then she'd miss the ceremony.-

-And we certainly don't want that.- Jesse agreed. -Besides, there must be a reason why Thert has never done that. We should at least ask him before interfering with his diagnosis.-

But just then, finally, the watcher rushed in from his post.

-They're coming! Car on the horizon!-

-Are you quite sure it is the right car and not just someone passing by on the road?- Jesse asked her.

She blushed.

-Um ... er ... Should I go out again?-

Jesse sighed.

-Just as far as the stairs to listen for motor sounds. Report back when you hear a car stopping in front of the house.- He ordered.

The girl dashed out again.

-Well, that was ... How did you know to ask her that?- The nurse asked.

-Experience.- Jesse stated. -She's young and eager and not overly endowed with brains. I often get similar types when I hire soldiers just out of the Academy. They ... have their uses, but I suppose even guard duty has to be learned and the Academy doesn't teach it.-

-That would be one boring class.- Jenny commented.

-Being bored is a skill, too.- Jesse informed her. -And a very useful one for a soldier.-

Jenny scrunched up her face.

-Is your head getting worse?- Jesse asked concernedly.

-No, I was just thinking, that that must make Afrar a rather bad soldier, but isn't he a really good one?-

Ah, yes.

-It depends on what kind of duty one is doing.- Jesse explained. -We Commanders rarely need to deal with boredom, but guards do all the time. Istarsz troops are usually used offensively and aggressively, so they don't get bored as much as ... say garrison troops or defensive units like Gasparsz. For Gaspar it's an important skill when hiring soldiers, Istar probably doesn't care much.-

-So, different Commanders do different things?- The nurse asked. -Not just different kinds of soldiers?-

-Of course.- Jesse said quite surprised by this lack of knowledge. -Each of us has different talents and different kinds of soldiers and units. Like ... Razzle has mostly tanks. They are slow and heavy and ground-bound, great when you need a lot of fire-power on a planet, but they'd be useless in the space line and you don't want to use them on ... say a water-world either. Then you send me or Point with our fast planes. If you want fire-power in space you get someone with a battle-cruiser, like Gattler used to have.-

-Or your father-cousin Commander Laxus.- Jenny said. -He has a battle-cruiser. Cain told me.-

-Yeah, but he's ... He's a bad battle leader. That's why Nemesis almost always kept him in a quiet garrison. Somewhere where we had to have a presence but it was very unlikely that there'd be any actual fighting to do.-

-Is that any use at all?- The nurse asked. -A Commander that can't lead in battle, I mean. That's ... what Commanders do, isn't it? I mean, so Commandeer Razzle has tanks and that means he leads battles on planets and you have spaceships so you lead battles in space and Commander Istar leads aggressive battles and Commander Gaspar defensive ones, but what does a Commander do if he leads no battles at all?-

-I suppose he ought to be one that prepares troops for battle.- Jesse mused. -Keeps them in training during peace-time.-

-Peace-time?- Jenny asked. -What is peace-time?-

Oh dear!

-Peace time is when there is no war.- Jesse explained. -But you know that there still are enemies, of course, so you still need an army for when you get attacked again. You just don't have any battles to fight right then.-

-You do manoeuvres then.- The nurse said. -My maternal grandmother used to tell tales about them. She was a wing leader back when they had the last peace-time.-

-Well, there you go. A Commander that doesn't command battles commands manoeuvres.- At least that sounded good to Jesse.

-Do they have time to do other things, too?- Jenny asked. -Like visit alien planets and stuff?-

-Maybe.- Jesse allowed. -I wouldn't know. I've never seen a peace-time either.-

-I think maybe I'd like that. But I suppose it is very rare and doesn't last very long, does it?- Jenny asked.

-I don't know. The Fleshlings used to have peace-times that lasted for entire generations ... But they had a lot of separate countries, so often two countries would be at war and all the rest have peace-time. I don't know enough about Outrider history to tell what your chances of seeing one are.-

-They're coming!-

And this time they really were. Only moments after the warning shout Jesse heard the sound of footsteps outside.

Then the door opened, the lights went out and the first attacker pounced on Jean Claude, bare-handed to start things simply.

There was a hiss, a roar and then a scream. The lights came back on and Avada and the nurse shot to their feet at once, but then the kitten just stood still, his tufted ears pointing straight at the commotion at the door while the nurse rushed to the injured man's aid.

-It's alright, Avada. It's just ... playing. It wasn't a real attack.- Jesse assured his kitten.

He could feel Avada's distress, though, and that scream and the grip Jean Claude had on Raszt's scruff made it very clear that Raszt at least had not been playing.

Did the kittens have a telepathic connection with each other as well as with their chosen Outriders?

A quick look around for the other kittens found Noszt being petted by Jensz who had luckily realised that things were going terribly wrong and not launched her own attack on Jean Claude.

Slinker was crouching beside Jatt, ready to spring. Was he playing or preparing to have a fight to the death with Raszt, though?

Says was pressing against Jenny's legs, looking fearful rather than aggressive.

Right now that was a good thing, but Jesse could only hope that Istar wouldn't notice that the smallest kitten also had a cowardly streak. He'd probably blame it on Jenny's scientific tendencies.

And perhaps those two had seen a dislike for fighting in each other that had sealed their bond?

No time to ponder that now.

Irstz and his little Zpat were nowhere to be seen. They ought to be right by the door so probably hidden behind the crowd that had formed around the wounded man.

Or had Irstz taken Zpat outside? That would be the wisest course of action.

-Alright, everybody, abandon the attacks! Let the nurse do his job first.- Jesse ordered.

-But ...- Jatt started.

-No buts!- Jesse barked. -This isn't a battlefield and we don't want any serious injuries. It's supposed to be a celebration and I don't care if there are any old bloody traditions here. We're doing this my style now!-

-But ...- Jatt tried again.

Torr kicked him.

-You really are a terrible soldier, little brother.- Jean Claude informed him.

-Where's Irstz?- Jesse asked.

Jean Claude looked around.

-Outside, I guess.- He reported. -Do you want him? You have every right to deal with the situation as you see fit, you know.-

-I am dealing with the situation as I see fit.- Jesse returned. -I want Irstz to take the kittens outside. All the kittens.-

-You can't do that!- Jatt gasped.

-It's either that or no ceremony at all. You guys didn't want any non fighting tasks. I won't allow anything life threatening. The kittens are life threatening in fighting tasks. So either the kittens go or we have no tasks for our ceremony.-

The kittens went. Avada quietly fuming with anger, Slinker screeching in outrage, Says whimpering and Nostz growling.

The unlucky wounded man was carried off to sick bay and then the ceremony continued as planned one attack after the other.

Jesse tried to focus on the fighting moves and techniques of the individual fighters, but too much of it happened too quickly or out of his line of sight.

When Jean Claude finally reached the end of the obstacle course he was bleeding from several small wounds, but everybody else looked just as battered.

Jesse got up, opened his little box, said his incomprehensible text and handed over the wristband receiving a completely unplanned hug in return that left blood on his tunic as well, but oh well, at least he looked like he belonged with the company now.

Since the nurse, too, had probably gotten some blood on him treating his patient and a few other more minor wounds Irstz and Jenny would be the only odd ones out.

The thought made Jesse glance back to the three chairs while Jean Claude delivered another incomprehensible speech and showed off his new wristband.

Jenny was asleep in her seat. So even she had been bored by the ceremony!

As people started to come forward for a closer look Jesse told Jensz to open the door and let the kittens back in and was almost bowled over as Avada bounded in and rushed right at him.

Poor Jenny was woken up by Says toppling over her chair in her eagerness, but she seemed to be fine and hugged her kitten instead of scolding her.

Jesse, too, didn't feel like punishing Avada. He could feel the kitten's relief at being united with his Outrider.

-Well?- Irstz addressed him a little while later when the group crowding around Jean Claude was beginning to break up. -How did it go ... misbehaving kittens aside.-

-To plan.- Jesse replied.

-So, are you eager to have one of your own now?- Irstz prompted.

-To be entirely honest? No. Everybody's hurt, it was rather monotonous and I still have no idea what I actually said. All Jean Claude got out of it are cuts, bruises and one little wristband. The kittens got quite distressed. I'm just hoping the picnic will make up for the disappointment.-

It certainly was a bigger surprise than the attacks had been. Jean Claude had in fact been on a romantic picnic with Linda once and thus wasn't entirely unacquainted with the concept, but he hadn't realised they could be entirely unromantic family occasions as well. Jesse's Fleshling background still was good for surprises.

And this one was a good surprise. Everybody except Jenny and Says was enjoying themselves and the food and there was more joking and laughing going on than Jean Claude had heard in a long time.

For a while he forgot everything else and just leaned back in the grass enjoying the bright sunshine, the mild breeze on his skin and the living world around him. Raszt purred happily next to him feeling just as content ... until some small creature scuttled past in the grass and the kitten pounced at it clumsily.

He always felt so adorably disappointed and ashamed when he failed to catch something.

-It's alright, Raszt. You're not old enough to eat it anyway.- Jean Claude reminded him. -Let it run off and have lots of babies that you can catch next year.-

-I'm not sure we want whatever it was to become too common in our orchards.- Jensz commented. -A lot of little critters like that ruin fruits.-

-You're a fruit expert now?- Jean Claude asked slightly annoyed by her intrusion.

-No, but we had some people from agricultural colonies in the lab. Loktz had quite a problem with ringtail lizards a few years ago.- She explained. -And they all weighed in with experiences with other vermin.-

-Well, one single critter more or less won't make much of a difference.- Jean Claude declared. -Don't blame Raszt for missing.-

-I'm not.- Jensz said. -I'm just saying, if we want to give them critters to play with it shouldn't be right here near the orchards.-

-I'm not giving them critters. Raszt just happened to find one. And I don't suppose we should. Jenny would go crazy over them and then Afrar would be furious and beat her for it.-

-I'm surprised she isn't all over them already.- Jensz admitted. -That headache must be a lot worse than I thought.-

-I don't like that she fell asleep during the ceremony.- Jean Claude agreed. -It looks like she's really sick.-

-Thert doesn't seem to think it's really serious.- Jensz tried to reassure them both. -Just that it might be a permanent condition that prevents an army career. I could give her some starting help in science, you know, and she does have the mind for it. If we could convince her to study this planet instead of exobiology she'd even be useful to the clan ... and possibly even all the clans here.-

-I suppose it'd convince Afrar.- Jean Claude allowed. -And reduce the competition for weapons master.-

-Huh, weapons master? Jenny?- Jensz didn't seem to have heard of that.

-Jesse thinks they are considering it.- He explained. -Apparently Jatt doesn't strike them as much of a soldier and they'd prefer me as Afrar. I'm not sure I want that position, though.-

-Jesse ...- Jensz said. -Is he conjecturing or does he actually know something?-

Jean Claude shrugged.

-He's clever like that.- He allowed. -And they talk to him. They definitely said something, but I don't know what exactly it was. And I'm not sure he really understands about Jenny. He's ... actually disappointed that all his siblings are to be soldiers.-

-So you're disappointed I'm not?- Jensz asked frowning.

-No ... yes ... I don't know. It's against tradition, but you'd be competition for weapons master. You'd make a better one than Jenny anyway.-

-Maybe. She's still a child and not feeling well at the moment. She'll probably grow more enthusiastic about training once she's at the Academy and her head doesn't hurt.-

-Maybe.- Jean Claude agreed, though he doubted it.

Jenny never had liked fighting training much, not at all like the girls he'd seen grow up into cats-of-war. Or Cain. Jesse's sister Cain had shown all the signs of becoming a fine soldier when she'd stayed with them years ago. If she'd continued to develop so well she might prove to be an inspiration for Jenny once she arrived at the Academy ... If they ever got to attend the same Academy.

-What will we do about Jessesz ceremony, though?- Jensz's thoughts had apparently moved on. -We can't have another picnic that soon after this one, but we'll need something just as good as he arranged for you.-

-Better.- Jean Claude said. -He thought the ceremony was a let-down ... Though I expect he'll be happy enough with the picnic.-

Jensz sighed.

-Can we get Razzle in on it?- She suggested. -I can bring some science tasks I've seen done at friends' ceremonies, but I'm worried they'll be too tough for a soldier. Razzle's supposed to be good with those and he'd know what Jesse's likely to have learned.-

-The Fleshling Academy's very different from ours.- Jean Claude told her. -Much shorter for one thing and they still learn stuff we don't. Razzle wouldn't know what exactly either. ... But he ought to be in on it, if we can get him, yes. Jesse doesn't have that many friends we can reach. I mean, after me, Urak and Gattler were closest. There's Azpet, of course and I guess we can get our uncles to make up numbers.-

-Not Afrar, though. And are you quite sure about Uncle Irstz?- Jensz asked.

-Pretty sure, yes. He's willing in any case. Then maybe some of the elders? Jenny can tell us who his favourite kids are. He likes children a lot and they'll be good for setting simple science-like tasks since you think he'd find those more entertaining.-

-He kept complaining about it being too much fighting.- Jensz explained. -Too much alike, you know. That's why we had the old fashioned weapons.-

-Those were cool.- Jean Claude agreed. -But painful. Do you think Afrar will mind if we get Gaspar for Jessesz ceremony? We can try for Point instead, I suppose, but what with the space-line ...-

-I don't see why he'd mind Gaspar as Jessesz friend.- Jensz replied. -Just don't let him see you with him too much. Where should we have the ceremony, though. It's getting rather urgent and it should be somewhere special.-

-Right. This place was a great idea and we can't repeat it. Maybe the garden of the townhouse?-

-Bad idea if it should rain. We would have eaten inside if it had. It'd have ruined the picnic, but not the ceremony itself.-

-Well then somewhere indoors.- Jean Claude declared. -We can rent or borrow a public place. There are lots of places on this world Jesse hasn't seen yet.-

-Most of them aren't finished, yet.- Jensz pointed out, but then paused. -We do have the hangar. That looks rather nice and has a lot of empty room. And no stairs. His leg's no good at stairs yet and we mustn't tire him out before the end of the ceremony.-

-There's another reason we need alternative tasks.- Jean Claude realised. -Fighting will require him to use his leg and the crutches will get in the way. It's a right mess.-

-Maybe we should just ask Uncle Irstz what to do with an injured or crippled birthday candidate.- Jensz suggested. -It has to have happened before, at least with 30th birthdays.-

-We do still need Razzle.- Jean Claude insisted. -I'd really hoped he'd be here today.-

-He sent word that he couldn't come.- Jensz told him. -He's needed on the Warworld, though Jesse said that didn't make sense.-

-Maybe Afrar could ask Nemesis?- Jean Claude suggested.

-He just did that to get Jatt here for today.- Jensz admitted. -And he wouldn't want to ask for Razzle.-

-Let's try anyway.-

-You might have a bigger problem than that.- Irstz told them when they approached him about the best way to get Razzle to come to Jesse's ceremony. -You'll have to convince Jesse to participate in the ceremony in the first place. Can't have it if he refuses to come and do the tasks.-

-About those tasks, by the way.- Jean Claude remembered. -What do we do about his leg? There have to have been people with injuries on their birthday before, right?-

-Of course.- Irstz confirmed. -But that's a question to clear up with Thert rather than me. Best give him a veto right on all tasks.-

-But then we'd have to include him in the committee.- Jean Claude protested.

-You should do that anyway.- Irstz recommended. -Jesse likes him.-

-Thert?- Jean Claude exclaimed incredulously.

-He wanted scientists for siblings, remember?- Jensz said.

-And Thert went along on his first trip here especially to show him the ancestral hall.- Irstz added. -I think it's quite mutual.-

-You know, I do love my companion, but he is awfully weird sometimes.- Jean Claude commented shaking his head about it all.

-He was raised by wild animals.- Irstz pointed out. -I think he's surprisingly normal considering that.-

-They're not really animals, you know.- Jensz told them. -They're just very primitive. There's even a theory that they are devolved Outriders. That would explain why we can have mixed race children in the first place.-

-Nonsense.- Irstz told her. -They are animals from another dimension.-

-Which should make it impossible to have mixed offspring that are actually capable of survival, much less as functional and healthy as Jesse.- Jensz informed him. -It's scientifically impossible. There's something odd going on there.-

-Oh, leave us alone with your stupid science.- Jean Claude told her and stalked off to find himself some more entertaining conversation partners.

For once Jesse found Thert in his sick bay, though considering that he finally had a patient in need of serious attention it shouldn't have been that surprising.

-How is he?- Jesse asked feeling a touch of guilt when he realised that Thert was busy sewing up Raszt's victim.

-He'll be fine.- Thert assured him. -With any luck he won't even keep a scar. ... Though maybe he'd like one. I should have remembered to ask while he was still conscious.-

-Should we have sent him back right away?- Jesse asked. -He said he felt well enough to eat with us and he'd already missed almost all of the ceremony, but ...-

-He'll be fine.- Thert repeated. -It was just a little accident. We get them every now and then in training.-

-This wasn't training.- Jesse pointed out. -It was supposed to be a celebration. And I doubt you get people mauled by cats in training.-

-We never did before.- Thert admitted. -But we didn't have cats before. This was a good lesson to teach us to keep them out of the gym. ... Unless of course we want to train fighting with them.-

-That sounds seriously unsafe.- Jesse remarked.

-A lot of things we do in training are.- Thert said. -That's why we get those accidents.-

-Then maybe you should train more safely.- Jesse suggested.

-Go and tell that to Commander Istar.- Thert told him. -No wait! Don't do that! He doesn't listen to such suggestions and we want your leg to heal. How is it anyway?-

-It doesn't hurt anymore.- Jesse assured him. -So it's probably all healed anyway. I'm just bad at using it.-

-That takes time. Let me have a look at it once I finish here, though? Just to be sure?-

-As long as there are no needles involved.- Jesse agreed. -I wanted to talk with you anyway.-

-About your leg?-

-About Jennysz headaches. Today's is real, isn't it? There's no reason for her to pretend today.-

-No, there isn't. It is quite real. That doesn't have to mean that it is anything serious, though.-

-But you think that it is?-

It was amazing how Thert could continue to operate on his patient while talking about two completely different cases. It didn't seem to bother him in the least.

-I think that whatever the cause we should take her off the list for the Warrior Academy.- The head doctor stated. -She'll make a fine scientist whatever it is and it is what she wants to do. But I can't say that to Afrar Irozz. He doesn't want to hear it.-

-So ... are you trying to make this into a reason for exclusion?-

-No, but I can't help hoping for it to be one. There's no correlation with the food she's been eating, by the way. We're not going to get it under control by a change of diet.-

-Could it be exercise?- Jesse suggested. -If too much physical training causes her headaches she'll have to get a less active job, right?-

-It can't.- Thert destroyed that theory. -I suspect it is the climate or weather on this planet. But that would make it perfectly fine for her to serve on other worlds. Still, it is the next thing I will look into. I have to.-

-I don't believe in forcing a child onto a path she isn't fit for.-

-But Jenny isn't unfit to be a soldier and you can't make Commander Istar see reason about it.- Thert said. -I can even less. He doesn't respect doctors enough to listen to our medical advice. He will certainly not listen to anything else I have to say.-

-You really think he respects me any more?- Jesse asked a little surprised.

Thert was the head doctor of Istar's clan after all. And what was Jesse to Istar?

-You are a Commander. That is something he understands and respects.- Thert explained. -You are a soldier like him and his equal in rank. Of course you are too young to really be an equal in his eyes, but then he does have to be impressed that you did make Commander this young. You're not much of a hand to hand fighter and that counts for a lot with him, but I've heard Afrar Irozz take him to task over that several times.-

-Take him to task?- What the hell?

-Our Afrar is quite a bit more flexible than Commander Istar.- Thert said. -He's quite capable of separating physical and mental skill. And he is quite aware that no other clan puts as much stock in pure hand to hand combat skill as his own. Arthez, he says, wouldn't be well advised to try to beat us at our own game. We've been breeding and training hand to hand specialists longer than they've existed. They can never catch up. And they have different stock to work with. They've produced some fine tacticians and strategists ... whatever the difference might be ... before and when it comes down to it, that's better command material than the elite hand to hand specialists. Command rather tends to remove you from hand to hand combat. I wouldn't know why, but that's what Afrar Irozz says whenever Commander Istar goes on about your fighting skill. ... There, I'm done here. Let me just make him comfortable and then I'll have a look at that leg of yours.-

-It's quite simple, really.- Jesse decided to explain. -When you're in command of others you do well to stay on top of where those others are and what they are doing and ought to be doing, just in case you need to alter their orders. When you are in the midst of hand to hand combat you shouldn't take your eyes or mind off your opponents. And it's little use if you fell three or four enemies with your bare hands while in the meantime your troops get into disarray and the enemy's main force overruns your position. So as a Commander you stay out of close combat as much as you can and keep as much of the battlefield in sight possible. ... But of course Istar's no bad Commander and then you have people like Mohawk as well. I'm not sure how he does the job, but there's no denying that he does.-

-No denying that Afrar Irozz wouldn't take Commander Mohawksz advice on anything either.- Thert commented as he came over and started to run his fingers over Jesse's knee. -Commander Istar will pay him as much respect as he does you, though. That's the difference.-

-Who says Irozz would take my advice?-

-Not unconsidered, that's for sure, but he will consider it. Always. Haven't you noticed he's always angling for your thoughts on whatever topic he brings up? He's almost as clever as Irstz in that way.-

-But he wants nothing to do with Razzle.- Jesse commented. -That one's thoughts are more worth listening to than mine.-

-So I hear.- Thert agreed. -But he's a dangerous fellow and he certainly doesn't have our best interests at heart. Of course, we might see that soon enough.-

-See what?-

-Oh, nothing. Can you turn on that leg?-

-Of course. That's easy enough. It's the stairs that are the problem and the crutches always getting in the way.-

-So, you can run then?- Thert asked somewhat surprised.

-With the crutches? Of course not.-

-Ah, no running then. Not that anyone expected ...-

-Say, what exactly is this actually about?- Jesse asked slightly suspiciously.

-Oh, nothing. Just ... well, I've been asked ... how you were doing, that's all.-

-Really? And just who has the right to demand such answers?- Jesse snapped. -You hardly work for His Nastiness.-

-Well, nobody has the right to demand.- Thert admitted. -It's not like I even have a right to examine you. But I can ask and so can they.-

-Oh, really!-

-I told you about Jenny when you asked, didn't I? This is much the same thing.-

-So who asked?- Jesse asked sharply. -Afrar Irozz?-

-Jean Claude. So you see it's hardly hostile. You don't mind him knowing, do you?-

-I don't suppose so, but he could have asked me. I'd have told him.- In fact he had. Why had Jean Claude felt the need to take the matter up with Thert after that?

-Not in medical detail. You don't know enough about it to tell him that.-

-And Jean Claude doesn't know enough about it to understand it in medical detail. Not unless that's the one topic in the universe about which he knows more than Razzle despite not having been specially trained in it.-

-Razzle?- Thert said sounding quite perplexed.

-Doesn't know the pulse rate of a healthy Outrider despite knowing where to find the pulse. And Razzle knows more than he's expected to about just about everything.-

-Well, that one's not surprising.- Thert said with a shrug. -Lots of soldiers know where to find the pulse. You find your pal lying unmoving on the battlefield right after battle, you check whether or not he still has a pulse. If he doesn't there's no need to call a doctor or nurse away from still living patients. Don't need to know what the pulse rate is in that situation. The nurse will see to that.-

-Well, whatever.- Jesse wasn't in the mood to ponder Razzle's medical knowledge right now. -What about Jean Claude?-

-What about him?-

-Well, does he have any more medical knowledge than that?-

-Not that I know.- Thert admitted. -But I can simplify it for him. Like telling him that you can't run yet. Though, of course, he won't expect you to anyway. He should know that much.-

-I'd say so considering that he's been watching me hobble about for days and I told him. What more information does he need?-

-Well, he has to be very sure, you know.-

-Why?-

Thert hesitated, squirmed.

-You really can't guess?- He asked finally.

And then, of course, Jesse could.

-I'm not having that ceremony. I thought I'd told them so.- He declared and pulled his leg away.

-But ... you can't do that. You ... How else will you get your wristband?-

Jesse shrugged.

-I just won't, I guess.- He decided. -I'm not having a stupid ceremony full of real fighting and injuries that makes the kittens go berserk. It's not worth it.-

-It won't be like that.- Thert promised. -There'll be no real fighting. We can blame it on your leg. I'll find an excuse that everything that might lead to an injury is absolutely impossible. It'll over-strain the newly healed tissue extending your recovery. Or tire you so much you won't be able to complete the ceremony. And we'll keep the kittens out of the way. We know how they react now.-

-And what do you mean to do instead? Seems like there isn't much to the ceremony besides the fighting.-

-Oh, you leave that to us.- Thert grinned. -I've got some ideas. As has Jensz and we can get hold of some other scientists for suggestions.-

-I'm no scientist, Thert. I'm not even sure I can find an Outrider's pulse.-

-You can do a lot of Fleshling tricks, though, can't you? Those should look cool at least.-

Jesse wasn't quite sure of that, but apparently there was no way of getting out of doing that stupid ceremony.

And he did need the wristband. Thert was quite right about that. He still looked like a much younger child to other Outriders after all. 


	28. Chapter 27: On Breeding

Disclaimer 1: This is fanfic. That means I do not own any of it. I just borrow it to play with for a little while and let people see the pathetic results if they really want to.

Disclaimer 2: I'm not making any money from it. It's just for fun.

Disclaimer 3: What isn't borrowed is all made up. None of this is real or most likely at all realistic. Please don't trust any of the information in here. Most likely you know more about whatever I'm writing about than I do.

Disclaimer 4: Attitudes, views and opinions expressed by the characters or in the story are not necessarily those of the author. Even when writing Science Fiction or Fantasy I do not tend to attempt to create perfect/better worlds in which everybody gets a happy end ... or whatever is best for them. Please accept that some characters will have a bad ending or be unhappy.

Disclaimer 5: I intend no insult to anyone. If I offend anyone I'm very sorry. Please understand that it was an accident as I tend to be very clumsy in these things.

Chapter 27: On Breeding

-I do admit that I am glad to get to see the return of the cats of war to our house.- Maktez stated quite suddenly that evening.

-I thought you didn't care for useless ostentatious pets?- Irozz prompted apparently quite in the mood to play for once.

-Ah, but then I never knew all they were good for.- Maktez returned not in the least annoyed by the challenge. -I'd heard they were fighters, of course, but one wouldn't think ... Well, what with all the machines and armour we have these days, I never thought that mere animals could be any use no matter how aggressive they are. But see now, they defend their chosen soldiers and they are only kittens now. They do make fine weapons for hand-to-hand specialists.-

-I'm not sure I'd consider Avada a weapon.- Jesse threw in. -He is a living, feeling creature, quite possibly a soldier in his own right ... once he is old enough to go into battle.-

-I'm not sure we should take them no matter how old they get.- Irstz said to everybody's surprise. -We don't have that many of them and no man can expect to be chosen twice. When your cat is dead, he's gone and there'll be no replacement. I say we should keep them at home to breed.-

-Eugh, not the black, surely.- Irozz protested. -We need to breed that miscolouring out of the stock not back into it.-

-I don't see your problem with the colour.- Jesse informed everybody as he had done uncounted times before. -I think it looks much better than the normal variant. And anyway, I'll take Avada away with me as soon as my foot allows. I guess he won't get to breed unless I ever happen across another injured female cat.-

-Yeah well, you take good care of him.- Maktez grinned. -Maybe keep him next to your pillow. Wouldn't want you to lose him and start having nightmares again, would we?-

What the?

-Losing a pet certainly wouldn't give me nightmares, Maktez.- Jesse snapped.

-Are you quite sure? Getting a pet certainly made you stop having them and that's probably the best thing about those kittens as far as far as I'm concerned.-

-It what?-

But then Jesse realised that he had indeed not had a nightmare last night ... or the one before, or ... When had he had his last nightmare? He could no longer tell.

-That has nothing to do with Avada.- He decided. -They were always supposed to stop at some point. Though, I have to warn you, from what I've heard occasional recurrences are also normal. My subconscious has just finally caught up with events and has stored those memories away.-

-Your what now?- Istar asked.

-Sub... Oh, forget it. It's a medical thing that has to do with nightmares. If you really want to know, you can ask Lutatz, but I don't think you do.- Jesse informed Istar. -It'd be quite useless knowledge to you.-

-Ergh.- Istar made again. -Why do you go about stuffing your brain with medicine?-

-I don't.- Jesse assured him. -It's just that I kept having those nightmares and Lutatz and Iktrz kept saying those things. It's just like all the odd words I picked up from Razzle. You keep hearing them and eventually you start saying them.-

-You do that too much.- Istar informed him.

-That's quite normal.- Jean Claude said. -To Jesse Outrider is still a new language and that is how one learns languages. Just look at little children. They use exactly the words their caretakers like best, because those are the ones they hear most often. It takes years before they stop copying and just use their own favourites. And Razzle has been Jessesz dormmate since he started learning Outrider.-

That last fact wasn't entirely correct, but Jesse decided to let it stand. Razzle had been around and talking ever since Jesse's first arrival in the Vapour Zone in any case. Jesse wasn't quite sure where or when he'd picked up his very first Outrider word. He suspected that it had probably been yes or no ... or maybe Commander ... and that he'd learned it from his subordinates rather than his peers, but at the time he'd first realised that he had a very rudimentary Outrider vocabulary he'd also known a lot of military terminology and commands that could well have come from strategy meetings. And strategy meetings had been where he'd had the most contact with Razzle before he'd joined the dorm.

-Look, I'm trying to figure out what words belong in whose vocabulary. It's just taking some time. And yes, I know subconscious is medical and I'll try to use it only around doctors and nurses, but you guys did start talking about my nightmares.- He pointed out.

-I didn't.- Istar returned. -I don't care about your nightmares or any other medical stuff.-

-Not even Jennysz headaches?- Irozz asked. -I thought you were quite interested in those. I certainly am.-

-In that case.- Jesse said. -It might interest you that Thert has eliminated two more possible causes. He thinks the most likely cause is the weather here now. Unfortunately she still had a headache at the clanhold as well, so just moving her out there won't fix it.-

-What has he eliminated?- Irstz demanded sharply.

-The food and ...- Ups! -Well, that annoying subconscious again. Don't ask me how it can give one headaches as well as nightmares. Apparently it can.-

-And why would Thert suspect that Jennysz subconscious might?- Irstz asked and quite suddenly Jesse realised that while Istar didn't know or care Irstz did indeed have an idea what the word meant.

-Well, because she wants to become a scientist. The idea was that she had one genuine headache and then her subconscious realised that headaches can get one out of having to do some things so it made Jenny have a headache whenever there was something she didn't want to do and then she heard that it might get her permission to go to the Science Academy as well.-

-Oh really!- Istar growled.

-It isn't the case though!- Jesse repeated hastily. -The headaches are definitely quite real. So the weather is the big suspect now.-

-We can't control the weather here.- Irozz said. -We can on the Warworld. A little at least.-

-Yes.- Jesse agreed. -But Jenny never had headaches there anyway. Will there still be an Academy on the Warworld once the one here is finished?-

-I don't know.- Irozz replied. -The building is still there, of course, and it is close to the military centre so the officer course students can visit and observe. But it is also dangerous to have children studying there when the Warworld goes into battle. We saw that in the battle of Yuma.-

Jesse shuddered.

-We can send Jenny to one of the colony schools once the war is over.- Irstz suggested. -It would be unusual, but the colonist students on the Warworld were just as far from their clans ... and most of the ones there will be from other planets as well. It never harmed them, so it won't harm Jenny.-

-They do probably have older cousins or classmates from their homeworlds there, though.- Jesse pointed out. -Jenny will know noone. Maybe she should bring a companion as well.-

-Such as Cain?- Istar sneered.

-It's worth a thought.- Irozz said ignoring Istar's tone. -If Arthez does choose to send Cain to a colony rather than here. Her siblings and cousins all went to the Warworld Academy, didn't they?-

-As far as I know, yes.- Jesse confirmed. -That doesn't mean they'll necessarily transfer to Rukkat if that closes, especially if the Academy here should still be under construction at the time. And do we even know that the colony Academies closed at the start of the war? Maybe they've already transferred to one of them. Then it would be only logical for Cain to start there.-

-Don't we know that?- Jean Claude asked sharply. -Surely we have spies to tell us? It's the easiest job ever.-

Jesse shrugged.

-We probably do, but I haven't heard their reports.- He reminded Jean Claude. -I'm rather out of the loop right now.-

-You might want to ask Razzle when he gets here.- Irozz suggested. -He's been on the Warworld for weeks now. If it didn't come up in strategy meetings there ...-

-It might not.- Istar said. -What the rebels are doing with their Academies, I mean. Nemesis might have the information, but not talk about it since it's not relevant for planning.-

-But it is relevant.- Jesse snapped. -We've halted the training of new soldiers. If the other side hasn't that'll mean an increase in their numbers at the end of the school year that we can't match.-

-We are increasing our numbers from the vapour chambers.- Irstz countered. -They don't have any ... and there are a lot more of those than there are students in any single Academy year.-

-People we never unpacked in the past or actually packed away because they were deemed of no use in conquering a new homeworld.- Jesse reminded him. -They're untrained civilians, incompetent soldiers or people who have been stored away for generations. None of them will be able to make much use of the equipment we give them ... unless we train them first, just like the Academy students.-

-So you think we should re-open the Academy.- Istar said. -Despite the much lower student numbers that remain to us.-

-If we were to train the unpacked reserves at the Academy as well, we'd have decent numbers.- Irstz said. -And we could always reduce the number of classes in the mandatory courses. It's the rarer specialities that might be unable to get together enough students to be worth teaching, but those students could be redirected to choose other specialities as long as they aren't too close to graduation, yet.-

-Some of the civilians might already have some knowledge in those specialities and fit into those classes.- Jesse countered. -The last thing we should do is stop the tech courses. We're desperately short on tech officers.-

-Who needs those anyway?- Istar snorted. -Pack of gibberish-talking idiots.-

-I do.- Jesse said. -Do you have some you want rid of? I think I can scare up some low level officers that might suit you. No Commander material, mind you, but the sort of strong, brave fighters that ... come in handy in a head on charge. I'm told you have more use for those than I do.-

-And what do you mean by that?- Istar snarled suspiciously.

-That I'm in need of tech officers and short on command talent, but since I have mostly planes and no heavy cavalry to support head on charges I am better suited with the lighter calibres of fighters that are good for hit and run attacks.- Jesse tried to explain diplomatically. -So if you have tech officers you don't want you can have some of my heavies.-

-But ... you do have to charge sometimes!- Istar protested.

-Of course. And I'm not offering you all my good charge leaders.- Jesse assured him. -Just the supernumerary ones. I was sick when everybody else filled up their troops at the beginning of the war if you'll remember. So I had to pick up the best that were left afterwards. Most turned out to be good enough soldiers, but a lot aren't quite what I need in the positions they're in.-

-So shuffle them about.- Maktez suggested.

-That won't get me any tech officers when I have none to start with. So, how about it, Istar? You willing to trade or not?-

-If you want tech officers, go to Razzle.- Istar told him. -He's got plenty.-

-Yep, and he's let me borrow one on a day by day basis before, but he won't part with them for anything I've got. The fucking old hedgehog has exactly what he wants exactly where he wants it. But you sound a lot less fond of tech officers.-

-I can't stand them, but I've got only two and one does need one.- Istar admitted.

-So, can I have the second then? I'll give you the best fighter out of my spares, just because I need that tech specialist so much.- Jesse offered.

-And if my other tech officer gets hurt or killed I'm the one without.- Istar growled. -Don't wanna risk it.-

-So we should indeed train more tech officers.- Irstz concluded. -Like them or not.-

-Razzle has enough to go around.- Istar complained.

-Yeah well, he insists on hoarding them.- Jesse said. -And if even Istar's convinced he needs a pair then I take that as confirmation that I need at least two as well.-

-Now what's that supposed to mean?- Istar demanded once again.

-Well, you don't like them, but you're keeping them anyway.- Jesse pointed out. -I don't mind them, so I should really have more than you.-

-Alright, alright.- Irozz said. -I'll mention it to Nemesis since I have to write him anyway.-

-You're writing Nemesis?- Jesse repeated rather surprised. -Why?-

-Because I have something I need to ask him.- Irozz replied. -And I'll mention your thoughts about the Academy and the need to make the tech courses more appealing. I'm sure they could be made easier.-

-I wouldn't bet on it.- Jesse commented remembering the way Razzle had re-wired that broken plane.

It had looked awfully complicated and the 'basic fighter plane maintenance' hadn't exactly been all that simple either if one assumed a student with an IQ only slightly above Ramszet's.

-You certainly couldn't drag it down to a level Ramszet could pass without rendering the training useless.- He decided. -Technology is complicated.-

-So are medicine and programming.- Irstz said. -Maybe they could redirect some of the students overcrowding the med courses to tech. There's really no need to drag the ... heavies into it.-

-I hear Nemesis rather encourages med, though.- Jesse remembered. -I doubt he'll go for limiting them then.-

-There are always students that don't pass the entrance exam in med.- Irozz remarked. -Maybe they could be encouraged to try for tech afterwards rather than be forced into a free entrance discipline.-

-That'd be a scheduling issue if you want to give them time to prepare for the exam.- Jesse suspected.

-It can be arranged.- Istar assured him. -Maybe they could even start the course without the exam to see how they like it and be given the chance to transfer later. Supplies officer courses are pretty easy to catch up in even when you've missed several months of lessons.-

-That what you took?- Jesse asked with a sneer.

-No, it's what I hear students talk about.- Istar returned. -You get to know a bit about all the courses when you're teaching.-

-What about that relaxation stuff Razzle once taught? That seems pretty easy considering he gave me a crash-course in less than one week.-

Istar laughed. -Did he, really? It's useless for the plan, though, because it isn't a speciality course. It's a mandatory first year class.-

-Odd they didn't put Razzle on something more useful.- Irstz remarked. -Anyone can teach that class and from what I hear Razzle should have quite a repertoire.-

Istar shrugged. -They always need a lot of teachers for the mandatory first year courses. First year's the largest, because nobody's failed out yet. And it's unpopular, because those unfit students are still in there and the kids have no discipline yet. Maybe they were short-handed and nobody wanted to do it.-

-Razzle's probably good at that.- Jesse decided. -Scaring kids into obedience, I mean.-

-You'd think every officer can do that.- Maktez declared.

-Not so.- Istar laughed. -Even some who are very good with adult soldiers fail when they are dealing with children. They claim they are too cute to scare.-

-I can see that.- Jesse agreed. -I mean, it wouldn't be fair to yell at an un-necklaced kid for not marching in sync as I would at a twenty-year- old recruit. So at what age do I stop showing them gently and start yelling?-

-At the point where there are more than eight of them.- Irozz replied much to Jesse's surprise. -Even if they are toddlers. Eight can be controlled gently. With any more only fear of you will keep order.-

-That seems a bit rough.- Jesse decided.

-Well, you really shouldn't have toddlers march.- Jean Claude interjected. -And you don't want to train them in large groups. Really, pre-Academy-age kids should be trained one on one or in pairs if you want them to fight each other. Fighting or marching in a unit can be left to the Academy where they have so many students that they really can't do it any other way anyway.-

Interesting. It didn't seem quite the same philosophy Jesse's uncle Makett subscribed to, though Jesse had to admit that he'd never seen Makett work with more than eight students at a time either. He seemed to prefer having two, four or six in a group.

-Isn't it unwise to give them only one partner to practise on, though?- He asked. -Won't they get too used to that one person's fighting habits?-

-We change the partners from time to time, of course.- Istar explained. -But there always is a moment of confusion when a child starts at the Academy and faces opponents from other clans for the first time. No matter how well we train them at home, they only meet opponents that have been trained in the same way and mostly by the same masters. The other clans' training is inferior to ours, of course, but the very best of them do teach moves our children have never seen before.-

-I suppose that is another thing the Academy is good for in addition to teaching forming units?- Jesse prompted.

Istar nodded. -If you combine the classes correctly, of course. I like to make the assignments for the first years myself because of it. You see, the common clans often don't even have weapons masters to prepare their children. So those students come in with nothing but the experience they got play-fighting with their cousins. They are completely raw. So they are best kept in separate classes that start with the very basics. Then there are clans that do have some older soldier to prepare their kids, but no actual military tradition. The older soldiers are common soldiers, of course and have no experience training or commanding others. So those kids have some basic moves, but there's been no plan or structure to their training. They are the hardest to sort into classes, because you can ask whether they have had any teaching when they are first registered, but you can't predict what they know. So I try to guess which ones have similar abilities and faults and put them together. They go into classes taught by experienced teachers that start by going over the basics quickly and adapt the course to the students' needs. We usually have to switch some of those students about after the first weeks until we have workable classes there, though. Next there are the ones from common clans with actual military traditions. They've been prepared by actual weapons masters, but not always as seriously as their fellows from noble clans. It's worth knowing the individual clan, though, because ... Hokz, for example, is every bit as serious about it as Arthez while a less talented student from Kone might actually be a better fit in the best class of common soldier trained children.-

-And of course you don't know how talented they are yet.- Jesse realised.

-Yes, but if I'm a student short in a lower class I know to drop the Kone kid down there, while if I have to bump a student up into a class of kids from noble houses, I'll stay well away from a Kone and take a Hokz whenever I've got one.-

-Will the noble classmates accept them, though?-

Ramszet and Kerost had certainly accepted Azpet easily enough and Ramszet seemed to even have formed a real friendship with him, but Jesse had noticed that all his dormmates were nobles and Urak was rather shy of the Arthez nobles.

-There won't be nobles in that class. Not the first one I'd assign to an unseen child.- Istar informed him. -It will be the class with the commoners from the weakest noble houses. The Hokz kid is likely to be the best student in that class unless one of the others is actually unusually talented, but as long as it doesn't become a serious problem he'll stay in that group until he starts second year. Then we'll know exactly what each kid can do and place them based on the last year's performance. The noble children will know that if he is in their class it is because he is as good as them.-

-So you don't mix commoners and nobles in first year?- Jesse asked.

-Oh no, I do. But they'll be commoners from noble houses. With the noble houses I know exactly what to expect and can place the students pretty exactly. Except for their talent, of course. I might drop or promote an unusually untalented or talented student if he becomes a problem in the class he's in, but usually I leave those classes untouched until the next year. Then I have to rearrange them due to students failing out anyway, but after that they remain roughly the same until fifth year. The next time they become a bother is at the beginning of officers' training. Of course the officers will come mostly out of the top classes, but there are dropouts there as well and there's always a few from the lower classes that remain. Performance is more even by then, though, so they usually can keep up with their new classmates.-

-Wouldn't the failures in first year all be in the lowest class as well?- Jesse wondered.

-Not at all.- Istar replied much to his surprise. -While students fail out of every class, it is actually the highest classes that see the biggest drop. I don't know why.-

-That does seem strange.- Jesse assured him.

-Only if you assume that the students perform the same in every subject.- Irstz explained. -The students in the lowest class may have arrived entirely unprepared, but they usually have been sent because they have shown particular aptitude or interest. Their clans have no military tradition, so they aren't likely to think of sending a child to the Warrior Academy if there is nothing to indicate that they will do well there. Conversely ...-

-C... what?- Yelped Istar.

-Conversely.- Irstz repeated undaunted. -I'm talking to Jesse. He likes unusual words, so I can show mine off. Conversely noble children are likely to go there for tradition's sake even if they are actually unfit. And keep in mind that Istar sorts them based on their hand-to-hand skills. A student might be a great hand-to-hand fighter, but turn out to be utterly incapable of hitting a target with a blaster. He'd have to leave the Academy due to failing Shooting then creating an opening in the top Hand-to-Hand class.-

-None of my siblings failed out.- Jesse stated. -Even though at least two of them would have been a better fit in the Science Academy.-

-Carstz and Caibe?- Istar guessed.

-Caibe and Cato, actually.- Jesse amended. -Carstz would be useless as a common soldier, I grant you, but he's got the strategic talent to make a great Commander if he can get that far. He'll be a good enough officer in any case. Caibe and Cato take after Irzhe, though. Especially Cato would have been a great scientist. Caibe ... I don't think she'll ever be happy as a soldier. I'd have directed her towards medicine, if I'd had the chance.-

-A doctor or two is good for a clan.- Irozz confirmed before Istar could say anything scathing. -And I take it she doesn't convince in Hand-to-Hand either?-

-Cato will be a fine soldier.- Istar commented ignoring the question. -There was never any question of him failing, though, I admit, Cairo and Catze do outperform him quite clearly despite being girls. As for officer material, I couldn't say about any of them. We do not really call for demonstrations of leadership in Hand-to-Hand.-

-Cairo and Catze have none.- Jesse told him. -But neither do they have the ambition and they are girls. They'll be good common soldiers until they marry and settle down to raise children. Cato might make an indifferent officer if he wants to go for it, but nothing grand.-

-Carstz then.- Istar stated. -He is awfully weak in the physical classes. That makes him a bad bet no matter how talented a leader he might be.-

-Cain.- Jesse said. -You already saw what she has to offer.-

-Does she have the strategic talent?- Irozz asked.

-Yes.- Jesse admitted, but realising that he shouldn't give away too much decided to downplay it. -As far as I can tell this early on at least.-

-Mmmmm.- Made Irozz.

-How old exactly is Kiet?- Irstz asked.

-Who?- Jesse asked quite confused. He'd never heard that name before.

-Kiet Razzlesz Lareth.- Irozz stated. -About Jean Claudesz age, I'd guess. Cain is Jennysz. That's quite a difference. He won't wait that long.-

-I'd make him if I were Afrar Thek.- Irstz declared.

-Does Thek know Cain?- Irozz asked Jesse.

-Hardly unless you introduced them while she was staying with you. Razzle knows ... of her more than her, but he has seen her. Why?-

-Cain is a girl and unless she marries within the clan she'll carry the talent out of it. Lareth has never bred for it before, but they do have it in Razzle. If I were Thek I'd make the attempt to breed that side-line separately and see what comes of it. He hasn't got much to lose as it is a contaminated line anyway and he might gain something valuable if it works out.- Irozz admitted. -The age difference is significant, though, and you might not want to sell Cain to Lareth.-

Jesse shrugged.

-If she likes Kiet. I've never met him. An alliance with Lareth can't hurt Arthezsz political status, I'd say. Kiet would be the one marrying beneath him.-

-It is a contaminated line.- Irstz agreed. -And the breed uncertain. Razzle turned out very well, but his sister was a thoroughly bad apple and none of Razzlesz children have shown the strategic talent. Of course it appears to be liable to skip generations in Arthez as well, but I wouldn't risk contaminating your line yet. Breed Cain in-clan and wait so see how Razzlesz grand and great-grand children turn out. You'll probably get a better age match then considering that you have yourself, Cain and Carstz to breed and that you come of very fertile stock. Not to mention that children of your other siblings might show the gene as well.-

-Eh, what?- Istar asked.

-I don't believe in breeding people like livestock.- Jesse told Irstz. -Political marriages I can understand, but I won't force my sister into that either. Or my nieces. Not to mention that so far I don't have any nieces.-

-Really? I thought Cozz is married?- Istar asked.

-Yes, but he has only provided me with one nephew so far. ... I haven't even seen him, yet.-

-There'll be more.- Irstz told him. -Once your other siblings grow old enough you'll soon have all the nieces you could ever want.-

-No need to force any of them into anything, though.- Irozz said. -Leaving her clan must be hard for a woman and she'd have to move not only into a new house, but onto another planet entirely. You are quite right that it should be her own decision what man is worth that sacrifice.-

-Eh?- Made Istar.

-I'll keep Lareth in mind for whenever I decide to go looking for a wife.- Jesse said. -I hear they are very pretty.-

-Kiervie is dead.- Irozz stated. -And there are no other females of Razzlesz blood there as yet. The rest are nothing you'd want to breed into your clan.-

-We'll see.- Jesse told him just to tease. -It can't hurt to look at them at least.-

-Look all you like.- Irstz encouraged him. -But remember that other clans have pretty daughters as well. I'm sure we can find you something more suitable than a merely pretty Lareth girl with no further advantages.-

-Quite possible.- Jesse agreed. -But I dare say twenty is usually a bit early to think of marriage? And I've heard it said that it is best if the woman is younger than the man, so really, this is not the time.-

He wasn't really surprised that they didn't want him to make a marriage alliance with a rival house, but that they kept returning to the topic of marriage alliances was surprising. It wasn't one that had really come up in conversations he'd had with his fellow officers or on Ishara and Jesse wished he had somebody he could ask for advice on it.

Normally he took his questions on Outrider culture to Jean Claude, but he had been the very first person that had started pushing him towards marriage with an Elhessar girl, so he probably had an agenda here and his advice couldn't be trusted.

Razzle was clearly the most knowledgeable person he knew where Outrider customs were concerned and the Elhessare seemed to assume that he would visit Rukkat soon, but it seemed like Lareth, too, might have an agenda. At least the Elhessare seemed to believe that it ought to have one.

Perhaps no member of the old blood nobility could be trusted here and most likely the commoners of the old blood houses would support their clans' interests as well.

What Jesse needed was a member of a common clan that would give him a trustworthy answer ... Azpet. He'd have to ask Azpet for advice.

Or was Ramszet stupid enough not to realise his own clan's advantage? Ramszet wasn't likely to lose any of his respect for Jesse over being asked a possibly naive question, but then again, if he was too stupid to see the advantage, Ramszet was probably also too stupid to understand the answer to the question in the first place.

No, it would have to be Azpet.

Aside from the girls' attempts to get his attention the next two days were quite quiet for Jesse. He was no longer kept busy with birthday preparations and Jean Claude and Jensz spent a lot of time with each other leaving Jesse free to do whatever he wanted to by himself.

He spent some time with the elders and on his writing project, but soon realised that it wasn't the best for Avada. The kitten was clearly bored with so little activity. He wanted to get about, run, explore and play.

So Jesse took him on a tour of the entire house, threw objects for him to catch and made sure to spend time with the other kitten owners giving Avada the chance to wrestle with and chase his siblings about.

The kittens each had his or her very distinct personality and quirks.

Despite Jensz's civilian profession Noszt remained the most daring, always the first to try and explore new things.

Raszt however appeared to be the most dangerous and Jesse thought he'd have come to that conclusion even if he hadn't been the one that had already injured someone. Mind you, he wasn't quite sure that Avada wasn't more aggressive, but Avada would growl and snarl at things before he attacked them. Rastz would just stand in front of them, stare at them intensely and then suddenly launch himself at them all claws out. At least with Avada you knew you were being threatened.

Slinker was a lot less daring than those first three, though she gave as good as she got when attacked by the other kittens. In general she preferred to stay in the background - preferably right behind or under Jatt and watch whatever was going on without drawing much attention.

Afrar Irozz's Chraszt on the other hand loved to jump out at people suddenly and startle them, but so far had shown no hint of wanting to bite or scratch anyone. It all seemed to be entirely a game to her. But then she hadn't been present at the ceremony and was still just a kitten. Perhaps the world still appeared to be all fun and games to her and she would become more serious and aggressive as she matured.

Zpat, too, would lie in wait and then pounce on things suddenly, but very much with dangerous intent. Thert had already had to bandage several scratched and bitten feet and a number of toys had met an untimely end in Zpat's fangs. However Jesse had yet to see Zpat charge anything head-on or give more than a token chase. True to his name, the trapper, he waited for his targets to come to him.

Cute little Says remained rather shy, quiet and very affectionate. Jesse was beginning to think that she'd have been better off if she'd been born a Fleshling house-cat, the sort that was kept indoors and pampered by a motherly owner with nothing much else to do.

And then there was List. He was the kitten Jesse saw the least of and accordingly also the one he knew the least. He didn't appear to be a very outgoing personality most of the time, but then sometimes he would dash in and start showing off his jumps or roll about in the middle of the room to get everybody's attention. Perhaps, Jesse theorised, he was somehow aware of his Outrider's lower status than those of the other kittens' and it made him act unnaturally self-conscious when he really was a lively and playful cat. Or perhaps he was shy and quiet, but sometimes had strong cravings for attention?

One thing all the kittens had in common was a strong attachment to their chosen Outriders, though only Says appeared to be entirely unwilling to venture out of sight of her mistress. Whenever Jenny walked around a corner or even opened a door while the kitten was playing she'd squeak pathetically and run after the girl.

Outwardly Avada showed no sign of noticing Jesse leaving a room at all. Only the feeling of his presence in Jesse's head would grow more intense until he returned. Jesse concluded that Avada was watching him mentally and most likely the other bigger kittens were doing the same with their masters, only Says ... Could it be that her telepathy was underdeveloped?

The next time he found Jenny and Says alone in Jenny's favourite dark reading spot he sat down rather than leave her be.

-Headache again?- He asked casually.

-Just a little.- Jenny confirmed. -I haven't had a really bad one in days, but these little ones seem to last much longer. I could play or study just fine like this. I just ... I thought it might go away quicker this way.-

-Do you think Says has an effect on your headaches?- Jesse ventured.

-What? No! Why would she?- Jenny gasped clearly alarmed.

That wasn't what Jesse had intended.

-I don't know, but Maktez is convinced that Avada cured my nightmares, so I thought maybe cats can cure some things.-

-You mustn't listen to Maktez.- Jenny informed him. -He's an idiot, but he thinks his age makes him wise.-

-He isn't.- Jesse informed her. -He's definitely smarter than Ramszet and while I have to admit that Ramszet is extraordinarily slow I wouldn't want to call him outright defective.-

-Def...- Jenny started, but thought better of it. -No, I guess he's quite normally talented, but he doesn't know much. He's actually proud of never having read an entire book in his life. All he knows is fighting and he's much too old to do any anymore. So, I suppose he keeps talking about stuff he doesn't know anything about because he has nothing else to do. If you just want to listen to someone talk, go sit with the elders instead. At least they have fun stories to tell.-

-Oh, I do plenty of that.- Jesse assured her. -I've been wondering about Says and your headaches, though. She always seems so subdued when you have one. Does she feel them, too?-

-No.- Jenny said. -They don't hurt her in any case. She just ... She can feel that I'm not feeling good and that makes her unhappy. She wants me to be happy.-

-Can you feel that in your head?-

-Yes, of course. How else would I know?-

-I mean while you're having the headache. Can you feel Says just the same as you do when you're fine or is she ... absent or more distant? Harder to ... hear?- Jesse guessed.

-Just the same as always ... I think.- Jenny said. -Why?-

-Well.- Maybe he'd best admit it. -When I leave him alone for a bit I can feel Avada more strongly. He strengthens the mind bond because he can't see me. But Says always insists on going with you, like she's afraid she might lose you. I thought maybe she is, because the bond disappears sometimes and your headaches seemed the most likely cause.-

-No, she's always the same.- Jenny repeated. -She never grows stronger either, though.-

-Maybe because she always does go with you.- Jesse suggested. -Maybe she just prefers that.-

He didn't want to imply that Says was in any way inferior to the other kittens, though he strongly suspected that she just didn't have enough control to strengthen or weaken the bond at will yet. She was less developed than the rest of the litter and apparently these kittens had bonded unusually early.

-But she doesn't.- Jenny protested. -She isn't allowed to come to fighting practise.-

-So what does she do then?- Jesse asked only now remembering that rule.

-Well, she ... she cries, I guess. And she scratches and fights against her restraints and tries to claw her way through the door. It's really awful to watch and feel, but Uncle insists and I don't want Kekz to get hurt even if I don't really like him.-

-Kekz? Is he your fighting partner?-

-For now.- Jenny said. -Afrar said he should be because he's already at the Academy. I'd rather have Hest or Kolzo back, though. At least they ...- She shrugged helplessly unable to put whatever it was into words.

-You win more when you fight them?- Jesse guessed.

-No.- Jenny said. -I can take Kekz if I really want to. ... I don't when my head hurts really bad. Then I'd rather have the fight be over sooner so I let him win.-

-Maybe they're more gentle with you when you're hurting?- Jesse suggested.

-Gentle? You mustn't be gentle when fighting. That's what makes it so awful ... when my head hurts, I mean. Uncle says I should let the other aches distract me, but it never works. No, but Hest makes jokes and then we laugh and I don't think that's good for my head either, but it kind of distracts better. And Kolzo will talk or play with me before or afterwards. Kekz just stands there and waits. Maybe you have to at the Academy. I don't think he used to do that before he went, but we had different practise times then.-

-Maybe he's outgrown it.- Jesse decided. -You ... expect to outgrow your stuffed toys soon, don't you? I expect Kekz already has and doesn't really know what to do with a girl that hasn't yet.-

-He's never suggested we play Arbhes either.- Jenny confided. -And you don't outgrow Arbhes. Even adults play it.-

-Have you ever suggested it to him?- Jesse prompted. -Maybe he would like to play a game after your training session, but has never thought of it.-

Jenny shrugged.

-I'm not sure I want to play with him.- She admitted. -Usually I just want to go back to Says.-

-Says could come along.- Jesse told her. -You wouldn't play in the gym anyway, would you? You could just get her and the board and set up in a sitting room. Maybe Kekz would even like to pet her. Most children seem to like petting kittens.-

-Maybe, but I don't think Says likes him much.- Jenny said. -She doesn't really like a lot of people. I think she might scratch if they pet her too much.-

-She always seemed very docile to me.- Jesse said a little surprised.

-You don't pet her much.- Jenny pointed out. -You have Avada for that, so you're okay by her.-

While Jesse had to admit that Avada didn't exactly like being touched by strangers or too many people at a time either he hadn't perceived that as dangerous so far and a quick mental check with Avada confirmed that the kitten had no intention to hurt anyone over it - not beyond a slight nip or scratch at least and Jesse was confident that all Elhessare would take that without making a scene over it.

Was Jenny over-cautious or Says' reaction much more extreme than Avada's?

Or was it all an excuse Jenny was making up to keep Says to herself or even to spend more time alone?

-I'm glad you have Says to keep you company when you have your headaches.- He remarked. -It must have been hard to have to sit alone so much.-

-I spend that time reading.- Jenny said. -That's a good thing to do when you're alone, because then there's nobody there to interrupt you. I like reading.-

-But doesn't it get to you when there's nobody else around?- Jesse asked. -I thought ... Well, in my experience even adult soldiers get very uncomfortable with too few other people around.-

-I can go see people whenever I like.- Jenny said. -I just don't like to when they hurt my head or I want to read. It's not like I'm stuck at a lonely guard post with nothing to do but stare into empty air.-

-Is that what you imagine makes one feel lonely?- It wasn't the situation Jesse had been thinking of, though he was of course familiar with complaints about solo guard duty.

-It's how Uncle Irstz tells it.- Jenny explained. -He had to do that a lot when he was in the army. I've never felt like that.-

-I don't either.- Jesse admitted. -Fleshlings don't. They even need to be alone sometimes.-

He shouldn't have said that of course. Jenny was instantly wide awake and bombarding him with questions about Fleshlings and there was no steering her back to the topic of loneliness or even Says for long. 


	29. Chapter 28: Kieran

Chapter 28: Kieran

Jesse was supervising another marching practise when a servant came to inform him that he had a visitor.

-A visitor?- Jesse asked slightly surprised. He hadn't invited anyone. -Who is it?-

-I don't know.- The servant admitted. -He gave his name only as Kieran from the Warworld. I've never heard of him.-

-Neither have I as far as I can remember.- Jesse said. -Did he say what he wants with me?-

-Only that he needs to talk with you right away.- The servant reported. -From the looks of him he's here on convalescent leave, so perhaps a message from one of your friends stationed on the Warworld?-

-He isn't one of my troops.- Jesse mused as he followed the servant into the house. Whoever Kieran was he at least seemed to have been allowed inside. -And Razzle went through Helkret last time, so he's unlikely as well. Must be Gaspar, then, except that surely he'd send the massager directly to Jean Claude ...-

-Why should he prefer Jean Claude?- The servant asked, probably just to make polite conversation while he waited for Jesse to make it up the stairs.

-Why because ...- Oh right, don't give the impression that there might be anything special going on between Jean Claude and Gaspar. -The only reason for Gaspar to send a messenger rather than a holo-message would be to say that he can't come to my birthday ceremony and send his hair for the wristband. That should obviously go to Jean Claude and not me.-

-Maybe some other object he'd like you to see?- The servant suggested.

-I guess it must be.- Jesse agreed. -I just can't imagine what it could be.-

They had arrived outside a small meeting room now. The servant stopped to open the door for Jesse.

-In here, Commander.- He said. -I'll stay out here in case you want me to escort your guest back out right away. No need for you to strain your leg doing it yourself.-

-Thank you.-

So the stranger was welcome to enter the house and trusted to wait unsupervised, but not to find his way back out by himself. Interesting.

Jesse entered and found himself facing a man so weak he actually found it a struggle to get up from his chair. But get up he did.

Then he looked Jesse up and down in obvious surprise.

-You are Commander Jesse?- He demanded hoarsely.

-I am.- Jesse confirmed. -And who exa...-

-Well, you've got some guts then, you fucking bastard!-

-I can't honestly deny any of those accusations.- Jesse stated slightly amused and possibly incorrectly since he hadn't actually been that intimate with any woman since parting with Rissa. -But you certainly do, too.-

While taller and more broad-shouldered than Nemo, Kieran struck Jesse as the most pathetic excuse for an Outrider soldier he'd ever met, emaciated and weak as he was, with much too pale bluish skin. Even his purple hair looked somehow faded. All in all, he didn't look like he could have been in battle even as recently as Jesse himself had, but rather like someone who'd been too sick to get out of bed for months.

Could this be a messenger from Moku rather than Gaspar?

-Me? I've nothing to do with this. How dare you do that to Razzle?- Kieran hissed voicelessly, balling his hands into fists trembling with weakness rather than anger.

-Razzle?- Jesse echoed stupidly. -What's Razzle got to do with it?-

-How dare you?- Kieran repeated. -A pathetic child like you? What's the world come to that we're calling children Commanders now?-

-I ... Did Razzle send you then?- Jesse asked. -I thought it must have been Gaspar or Moku. I ...-

-Send? They wouldn't even let me see him!- Kieran hissed. -Nobody sent me! I ... Who the fuck is Gaspar? Or Moku?-

-I ...- Jesse took a deep breath. This was leading nowhere. -Look, Kieran, is it? I think we're talking past each other here. We need to sit down before either of us falls down and talk this over calmly from the beginning.-

-I don't have civil conversations with Razzlesz enemies!-

-I'm not Razzlesz enemy!- Jesse easily outshouted Kieran. -At least we were getting on perfectly fine last time I saw him. So if that has changed I'd really like to know how and why.-

Kieran blinked.

-You don't know?- He asked.

-No.- Jesse said. -I don't. So can we please sit down and just establish the status quo?-

This was the wording usually used to refer to the first phase of military mission planning during which you viewed the available data on the area and conditions your mission would take you into and known facts about the enemy you expected to encounter. Thus Jesse was rather surprised when Kieran reacted by a confused contemplative look and then enquired: -Status of scientific knowledge?-

-Er?- Made Jesse. - What does science have to do with it?-

Kieran let himself drop back into the chair he'd hieved himself out of with such effort and nodded towards the one across from it.

-I.- He explained. -Am a technological historian. So in everything I do I must first establish what scientific principles were known to the people of the time I am studying. You are called a Commander, but ... well, I see that you are just a child. I expected an adult.-

-I am an adult.- Jesse snapped. -Well, practically. I am a half-Fleshling. Fleshlings are smaller and usually more delicately built than Outriders which makes them look like children to us. They also mature faster and are adults at fifteen. I got my military training by them, so have been an active officer for five years despite being only twenty. I'm a strategist like Razzle, but being much younger I lack his experience. Therefore Nemesis assigned me to work closely with Razzle and Razzle told me he was happy to pass on as much knowledge as he could so it won't be lost when he retires. I in turn promised to mentor other young strategy talents. That was the situation when I last parted with Razzle due to having been injured.- He nodded towards his crutches by way of illustration. -What's your connection with Razzle?-

-I'm his companion.- Kieran stated. -I ...-

-Hold on, Gattler is ... No, of course, Gattler is dead.- Jesse realised. -You are Razzlesz new companion then? Don't take this amiss, but I rather expected ... well ...-

-No, I ... I am his old companion.- Kieran said suddenly looking embarrassed. -You have to understand. I spent the last thirty-two years in the vapour chambers and only awakened less than a week ago. So the situation as it was thirty-two years ago still seems very present to me now. I was Razzlesz companion thirty-two years ago, since our academy days. I have not seen him since then and of course he must have found a new companion since then. Gattler you say? I do not know any Gattler.-

-Gattler is ... was our fellow Commander and dormmate. He died in the recent battle at the Warworld just after my injury and I still remember him as very much alive, too.- Jesse explained. -He is dead, though, so Razzle is without a companion and you're returning at just the right time though ... Well, thirty years in the chambers do explain a lot. You'll probably look the part much better once you've recovered.-

-It's different, isn't it?- Kieran asked. -I mean, it was odd being companions when I was a science student and he a warrior one and not even in my year, but we were both students. Now that he's a Commander and used to having a Commander for his companion, he can have better than me.-

-I don't ... Hold on, you are Razzlesz first companion!- Jesse realised suddenly. -He ... why he still mentions you sometimes.-

-He told the chamber technicians to alert him when they unpacked me, but then they couldn't do it because of you!- And suddenly Kieran was angry again.

-Because of me? What do I have to do with it?- Jesse asked all at sea again. -I wasn't even there. If I broke something during the battle of Yuma, well, I didn't do that on purpose and I really thought it would have been repaired by now. It's been a year.-

-I know nothing of any battle of Yuma and there wasn't anything broken. They couldn't tell Razzle and I couldn't see him because he's in isolation because of you.-

-He's in isolation?- Jesse gasped. -But he already flipped out when it was only three of us in the dorm! He can't handle isolation. It's the one thing he really doesn't cope well with.-

-Exactly!- Kieran snapped. -So will you help me get him out?-

Jesse nodded. -Of course. But I'll need all the information I can get. I can yell at Nemesis without it, of course, but I don't think that'll get us anywhere. Or we could break him out, but that might get him into more trouble if we're caught and I still don't know his door trick so we'd need to get a mechanic to help us and I don't know any of them well enough to be sure we can trust them. ... Unless ... I suppose we could ask Sanzar. He hates soldiers, but is Razzlesz friend, so he'd probably help us for his sake. If he does know the door trick ...-

-Sanzar's Razzlesz friend now?- Kieran said and then laughed. -He always used to make such a face when we brought him along. But he did come to the headmaster's office with us that time when Razzle ran away to look for his sister and they certainly had a lot of fun together that time they broke into the gym for Sanzarsz Chemistry project and it exploded right in their faces. Yes, Sanzar will help us if he can. What's that door trick supposed to be, though?-

-Oh, just, Razzle once told me there's a way to open any door, even a locked or dead one, with a magnet. He promised to teach me if I beat him in training that day, but ... well, he's a tough opponent and I'd been out of training for a while.-

-Oh that.- Kieran said. -Of course Sanzar knows that, but we don't need him for it. I can do it. In fact, I'm the one that taught both of them.-

-Right, then give me a few minutes to pack and bully Irozz into lending us his spaceship.- Jesse decided and headed for the door.

-Just like that, eh?- Kieran laughed. -You're as bad as Razzle is. I came on the mail ship, you know. It returns tomorrow morning.-

And Irozz did indeed make them spend that night with the Elhessare and take the mail ship back.

-But what about your birthday ceremony!- Jean Claude yelped.

-I don't care.- Jesse told him. -There's something more important I have to do on the Warworld.-

-They'll make you go back on active duty if you return there.- Irstz warned him.

-Then I'll go back on active duty.- Jesse declared. -I can spell Razzle dancing attendance in strategy meetings in any case. It won't matter that I can't run or fly yet for that and Razzle can be used more efficiently in the next attack wave.-

He didn't want to tell them that Razzle had been put in isolation. Istar would probably gloat and he still didn't know what it was that Razzle was supposed to have done to deserve it. Kieran seemed to think it was somehow Jesse's fault, but Jesse didn't see how it could be and since his only source of information seemed to be some nurse or technician that helped with the unpacking of vapour chambers Jesse assumed that whatever Kieran had been told had been more rumour than fact. He needed to talk with somebody who actually had first hand information before he took the matter up with Nemesis and that meant he'd have to catch Gaspar before he reported in.

Or did he stand a better chance of catching Sanzar? The head of weapons technology was usually in all the strategy meetings so unless Razzle's punishment had been handed out in Nemesis' office he too would have been there. And if it had happened in the office chances were that Gaspar hadn't been an eye, and ear, witness either.

-One of the two in any case.- Jesse muttered to himself when he came to that conclusion shortly after their start from Rukkat. -At least that doubles our chances.-

-Eh, what?- Kieran asked him finally distracted from his uncomfortable contemplation of Avada who was a bit too close for his taste in the narrow cabin.

-We need to track down either Gaspar or Sanzar before news of my arrival reach Nemesis. They should be able to tell us exactly what happened to Razzle and why. Once I know that I can work out what to tell Nemesis.- Jesse explained.

-Who's Nemesis?- Kieran asked.

Jesse gaped at him.

-What?-

-Oh my, you're still in Graztasz days mentally, aren't you? Nemesis is His Nastiness.-

-I've never even heard of a Nemesis.- Kieran confirmed. -What's his full name?-

-Nemesis Dareksz Mithgath.- Jesse informed him almost casually. -He's only been in office for seven years, though. Amiss Usztesz Gusten went between him and Grazta.-

-Urgh.- Kieran commented. -I remember him. I've still got a scar from when I ran into him and his buddy Istar trying to help Razzle once. ... I can't believe you're all buddy buddy with both of them, you know.-

-Both of whom? I never even met Amiss.-

-Istar and Razzle.- Kieran explained. -Those two go together like stoje and cumbate. Or at least they did in my time.-

-They still do.- Jesse assured him. -And I'm not really buddy buddy with both. Jean Claude's my companion and Irozz ... Irozz and I have a mutually beneficial alliance, but I don't think he actually likes me.-

-They let you stay at their house.- Kieran pointed out.

-They let you stay at their house last night.- Jesse returned.

-Yes, but that was only for a night. You looked pretty much at home there.-

-It's an alliance. I stay on their side in the civil war and they give me a place to retreat to since I obviously can't return to my own clan while it's on the wrong side of the war.- Jesse explained.

-You really have to be some sort of hot shot to merit that.- Kieran decided.

-I'm ... not really that hot.- Jesse assured him. -But I am a strategist and those are currently pretty thin on the ground. Razzle thinks something's gone wrong with the Academy and it's kind of suppressing the talent or at least not furthering it anymore. Anyway, with me sticking with the old blood the colonists haven't got a single proper strategist and must make due with a large scale tactician to plan their strategy. That's our advantage.-

That reminded Jesse of another important point, though.

-What clan are you anyway?- He asked Kieran.

Kieran looked rather surprised at that.

-Rstozz, for whatever that's worth to you.- He replied readily enough however.

-I've never heard of that one, I'm afraid.- Jesse admitted.

-Of course not.- Kieran agreed. -No reason you should have. Technically we're vassals of Kone, or used to be. I'm not sure where we stand now, though. We weren't needed anymore so they put us in the chambers and Kone never said a word. ... Do you know what's to become of vassal clans that are abandoned in the move to Rukkat?-

-No.- Jesse admitted. -I didn't even realise it was a possibility. I ... never thought much about the situation of the old blood's vassal clans at all. Nor was I there when the plans for settling Rukkat were made. I can see how historians wouldn't be anybody's first priority when settling a new world, though. Is that your clan's usual line of work?-

-We're scientists and artists.- Kieran explained. -But most of us like history, so we have a lot of historians, yes. If you grow up with fascinating tales of ages past you learn to crave them like food. Even our art is often historical. My younger brother made movies and most were about historical wars.-

-Razzle must have loved those.- Jesse realised. -He's full of historical facts ... I guess he probably got them from you, though?-

-Some.- Kieran said. -But he's quite capable of doing his own research even if it is only by reading of others' works. He always was full of ideas what Kiez should make a movie of next. He's actually even in most of them, though you'd hardly ever notice. I think the only one he didn't have a hand in at all is the one that's actually sort of about his sister. That one isn't historical either, though.-

-Your brother made a movie about Razzlesz sister?- Jesse asked rather doubtful that he could have interpreted that correctly.

-Inspired by her story. The tale wasn't exactly hers, of course, just about ... shadow children and how their lives go wrong so easily. It's ... rather a phenomenon of our time so quite a departure from his usual style, but having seen the consequences up close like that we wanted to do something about it. So, Kiez made a movie. I don't think Razzle liked it, though.-

-Maybe it was just too painful to watch.- Jesse suggested. -He still gets rather upset when people talk about his sister.-

-What became of her?- Kieran asked him. -Did she die? Or go to the chambers?-

-I don't know.- Jesse admitted trying to remember everything anybody had ever said about Razzle's sister. -As far as I know she left him and he misses her.-

-So he never found out? She ran away in her ... third year at the Academy. Razzle tried to follow her and bring her back, but they caught him before he caught up with her and all it did was almost get him expelled. We had a huge protest over it and in the end they made an exception because Razzle was an extraordinarily good student and she was his twin.-

-I never heard that before. I always thought he'd been a model student.-

-Well, he was. Sort of. In his own way.- Kieran said. -It wasn't exactly model for a warrior student to join a science club and spend all his spare time at the Science Academy, but he was top of all his classes and always obedient to the teachers. Mostly they thought he was just a bit weird and probably blamed that on the trauma of being a shadow child and losing his twin. Do you have a twin?-

-No.- Jesse said. -I have twin sisters and a brother and sister that are growing up like twins, but have different mothers. I ... don't see much of them, though. Maybe I'll never see them again what with us being on opposite sides of this war.-

-Pshaw. Sides change all the time.- Kieran told him. -The only constant in history is change, especially in periods of civil war. The future is very unpredictable, but the one thing I feel certain of right now is that this war won't last until the end of my lifetime. Three or four years tops.-

-I don't think it can last forever either.- Jesse told him. -But we could be destroyed. I might be executed or killed in battle ... while I suppose as a historian of a common clan you're pretty safe. Or we might end up with two separate realms and closed borders.-

-Not without any diplomatic relations at all.- Kieran predicted. -Travel between the two realms might be difficult, but you can almost bet that you'll be one of the chosen few, be it to throw your defection in the other side's faces or as a demonstration of good will because you can be expected to wish no ill on your clan's home realm. You'll need a clan to live with, though.-

-Which is precisely what Elhessar has offered me.- Jesse informed him. -Or, I suppose I could marry into another clan? I know it's usually the woman that moves in with her husband's clan, but surely there must be some precedent of men moving in with their wives?-

-Members of common clans marrying nobles, of course.- Kieran replied promptly. -The Hjzen culture back on the homeworld. A number of defectors in the absorption wars of the Szothet period ... That probably comes closest to your situation. I'd point at them if you have to. Do you have a specific clan or woman in mind then?-

Jesse shook his head.

-Not at all. I have a number of Elhessar children trying to throw themselves at me, but those are just girls playing at romance. I prefer older women that know what they want and what they're getting themselves into and so far I haven't got any longing for something as permanent as marriage. So, if you happen to know a woman that's looking for someone to take her out to the fights or watch some movies with and maybe have a quick shag on the way ...-

-I don't know anyone at all in this time yet.- Kieran reminded him. -And I'm not interested in meeting any women before we've freed Razzle.-

-I'm not planning on taking that long to do that.- Jesse assured him. -It'd help to know what he actually did to get punished like that, though.-

-I already told you: He's supposed to be at fault for your injury.- Kieran said. -How did you get that?-

Well, now ...

-Swear you'll keep it secret if I tell you all the details? If we start making explanations for something Nemesis doesn't even know about we might drag Razzle into even deeper trouble than he's already in.-

Gattler was dead and could no longer be punished after all and Kieran was on Razzle's side.

-Of course. But what happened that you think there might be punishable offences His Nastiness didn't know of when punishing Razzle?-

-Well, because the one thing that I can think of that Razzle really could be blamed for didn't cause my injury. He let Gattler escape when he could have killed or captured him or at least made the attempt at several points. But that didn't cause my injury. In fact, Gattler treated it, but nobody on the Warworld ought to know that. I told Moku I didn't know who did it since I was unconscious and he decided it must have been done by one of Lutazsz shuttle crews. Apparently it looked like very professional work that's not likely to have been performed by a med officer, so they'll hardly suspect Gattler as long as we keep our mouths shut.-

-So what exactly happened?- Kieran asked.

Jesse told him in as much detail as he remembered.

-And what exactly did you tell His Nastiness?-

-Nothing. He never asked me. In fact I haven't seen him or heard from him since before it all happened. That's what makes it so difficult.-

-Alright.- Kieran said. -Then whom did you tell? ... any tale about your injury at all, I mean.-

-Well, the Elhessare, of course.- Jesse said. -Mostly the kids and elders, though, but of course the brothers wanted to know as well. I never mentioned Gattler or Razzle in those tales as far as I can remember, though. It was supposed to be an exciting adventure tale about fighting Ettar. Especially for the kids I focussed more on Ramszetsz part.-

-Ramszetsz part? What was that and who the hell is Ramszet?-

-My Subcomander who was outside the cave in his plane and got shot down bravely trying to stop Ettarsz escape. You know, bravery, duty, dedication. The sort of stuff one praises in front of children that are supposed to grow up to become soldiers.-

-Actually I don't.- Kieran admitted. -We don't raise soldiers in my clan.-

-Right. Well, the Elhessare are very big on it. They're all on Rukkat, though. The only one that might have passed my tale on to Nemesis is Istar and I know better than to give him any weapons against Razzle ... and expect Nemesis would take any comments Istar makes about Razzle with a grain of salt to start with. He's not blind to their relationship much as he likes Istar.-

-So you're sure it wasn't any of the Elhessare?-

-Well, Jatt was on the Warworld for a while in between the Arhame mission and coming home for his brother's birthday ceremony.-

-Who's Jatt?-

-Istarsz second son. He was an acting Subcommander under me in the battle, but he wasn't an eyewitness to anything that happened in the cave nor did I ever tell him anything about it. He'd know whatever my troops on Arthame were told about the matter and that probably once again is the tale of Ettar injuring and escaping me and then shooting down Ramszet. They also ought to know that Gattler and Razzle met and Gattler escaped, but Razzle had ample opportunity to put whatever spin he liked on their perception of the matter. He's good at manipulating people and most of the ones there are loyal to him.-

-So any of your troops could have told His Nastiness a tale we don't know at all, but it wouldn't be likely to be damaging to Razzle unless said person had it in for him to start with. ... Anybody else you told? On the Warworld rather than Rukkat or Arthame?-

-Gaspar.- Jesse remembered. -I think I did blame Razzle for not joining my chase after Ettar in that tale. I was pretty angry at everybody at the time since I was in a lot of pain and unable to even get out of bed. Gaspar wouldn't do anything to bring Nemesissz wrath down on a dormmate, though. He's helped me in such a situation before and he likes Razzle much better than me.-

-He might have let something slip by accident, though. Or seen an advantage in hurting Razzlesz position never expecting it to get back to His Nastiness or anger him as much as it did.-

Jesse frowned trying to imagine such a scenario.

-Maybe.- He allowed finally. -But I think he knows to watch his mouth in strategy meetings and around Orat.-

-That's all the possible sources then? You didn't have any other visitors while in med bay?-

-Ramszet.- Jesse said. -But Ramszet is about as stupid as one can be and still be an officer in the Outrider army. I'm pretty sure Razzle could have talked Ramszet into believing that he'd misunderstood the story and retracting it. Besides Ramszet would be more likely to talk of his own part in the events and how I praised him for it. He's scared of both Razzle and Nemesis.-

-Scared of Razzle?- Apparently Kieran found it rather difficult to imagine anybody being afraid of his old friend.

-Razzle isn't someone to take on lightly.- Jesse assured him. -And if you do it, especially when you have Ramszetsz low IQ, you're well advised to keep it in the physical arena. Verbally and intellectually Ramszet would be sure to be crushed.-

-Alright, probably not Ramszet then. Your other visitors?-

-None, except Irstz and he just came to fetch me to Rukkat. If he saw Nemesis during that visit it was before I told him anything. ... Irstz could and would take Razzle on in an intrigue, but if he did he'd probably keep track of the results and he was quite puzzled by Razzlesz stationing on the Warworld when we discussed it at Elhessar house. Besides I don't see why he'd do it in the current situation. I've never known Irstz to intrigue out of spite alone.-

-He also would have been told the harmless version you told the other Elhessare, I assume? You were recovered enough to walk by then and no longer in pain.-

-Yes, and I knew he was likely to tell Istar anything he learned from me.-

-Nurses?- Kieran suggested suddenly. -Do you have any idea what you might have said to them while under pain medication? I've heard that the stuff used to knock one out during surgery will leave one having entire conversations one doesn't even remember afterwards.-

-I don't know. I doubt any nurses would dare carry tales to Nemesis or buy trouble with Razzle. They are both too far above them. Moku talks to Nemesis of course, but not simple nurs... Moku!-

-What about him and who is he?- Kieran demanded excited at Jesse's sudden outburst.

-The head doctor. He was very eager to hear my tale and I was still very angry at the time. In fact, I think I exaggerated Razzlesz part rather out of proportion. But Moku has no reason to harm Razzle and he's much too nice to do anything of the sort.-

-Yet he was eager, you say?-

-Probably for psychological purposes. He wanted me to talk about the experience so I'd deal with it and not suppress anything that might come back to haunt me latter. Maybe Iktrz even asked him to do it. Iktrz had to treat me for nightmares caused by my last serious battle injury.- Jesse added hastily. -So prevention was advisable.-

-So what exactly did you tell Moku?- Kieran asked.

The reply made him wince several times.

-If that is the tale that His Nastiness heard ...- He stated finally.

-Then at least it shouldn't be difficult for me to retract it. I gave Moku an exaggerated and one-sided report. I think we're more likely to have to deal with a malicious rumour started by one of my troops, though. Something that Orat overheard and used to hurt our dorm. That'd be like him.-

-And just who is Orat?-

Jesse spent the rest of the trip bringing Kieran as close to up to date on recent Outrider history and the current key players in Outrider politics as he could. It was a difficult undertaking as he himself knew almost nothing of the situation and key figures that Kieran remembered from just before he'd been packed away and that still were fresh enough in his mind to influence all his thoughts and expectations.

Using the mail ship might have been a good way to arrive on the Warworld without drawing much attention for Kieran who was a complete stranger to everybody they met, but Jesse was recognised by several bystanders the moment he limped down the ramp and there was much speculation about the reason for his return and his choice of transport before he'd even left the hangar.

-Uh ...- Kieran started.

-We'd better head straight for my dorm.- Jesse cut him off. -It'll be easiest to pull off if we can catch Gaspar there.-

-I don't ...-

But Jesse didn't wait to hear what doubts Kieran had. It was lucky for the historian that the Commander wasn't able to run properly, yet, or he'd have been left by himself in some corridor that no longer led where he remembered it going.

By the time they reached the right door Kieran was quite exhausted and made only a token protest when Jesse impatiently told him to follow him inside.

-I don't have the dorm elder's permission.- He said feebly.

-Razzle's the dorm elder.- Jesse informed him.

-Razzle?- Kieran looked so baffled that Jesse almost inquired what was so unexpected about that, but they had no time for that now.

-And Point in his absence, but with Razzle in isolation and Point in command of the space line ... Well, the only Commanders remaining on the planet are Gaspar, Orat and Brunhilda. Orat's of another dorm, Brunhilda's a woman. ... Oh. damn it, Gaspar will have moved into some other dorm for company.-

The dorm was empty of all inhabitants in any case. It hadn't been abandoned finally, though. Not only Gaspar and Razzle, but also Point and Jean Claude had left some personal items about the rooms. Kieran picked up an old holopicture viewer from beside Razzle's bed and ran his fingers over it almost absent-mindedly.

Since Jesse hadn't told him that that was Razzle's bed he could only conclude that he had actually recognised the viewer. Maybe he too, should take up that viewer sometime. If it was that old there had to be a lot of interesting pictures in it, possibly even ones of historical value, and judging from Jean Claude's surprised reaction to Jesse's objections to him handling the only picture Jesse had of his fleshling parents it would be perfectly acceptable for him to look at Razzle's holopictures if he left them lying around openly in their dorm.

-We'll have to take a risk, then.- He decided. -Gasparsz office is pretty close to Nemesissz, but he is more likely to be in the strategy room and we can get there from the other side, if we take a small detour on the level below. The problem is that I'm not entirely sure whom we might run into there. It's equipment storage management and I only ever paid attention to my own troops there. I have no idea whose is where.-

-With only four Commanders present chances are good that we won't run into one of them.- Kieran judged. -Besides, we want to run into Gaspar and have no reason to fear Razzle either. That halves that risk.-

Quite true, but as it turned out rather short-sighted planning. Commanders weren't the only people on the planet that knew Jesse, after all, nor were they the only ones that might talk to Nemesis. Subcommanders had more direct business with storage management than Commanders did, wing leaders made routine calls and medical, maintenance and scientific supplies needed just as much managing as the military ones.

A very familiar looking nurse and several technicians stared at Jesse in surprise as they walked past, though none of them dared to address him. Jesse had no illusions that the same reticence would apply to mentioning having seen him to their superiors. They were running out of time fast.

Unbeknown to him they also passed by a young man that Razzle would have recognised as 'that idiot underfoot' Sanzar usually sent out of the lab on some busywork when he arrived for a visit. This generally inquisitive, but quite cowed individual in turn did recognise Jesse, but had no further interest in him. After all, what were Commanders to him or any of Sanzar's lab staff? They belonged in another sphere and surely Sanzar had no reason to be at all interested in their doings.

Gaspar's office was almost entirely deserted. All the door guard could tell them was that he'd left to inspect ... something or other somewhere or other. Gaspar had a lot of troops and guns and posts and whatnot all over the planet.

Jesse informed the guard that he was a hopeless waste of space and inquired after better informed individuals' whereabouts. Those, too, were unknown to the waste of space ... or maybe she was merely feeling insulted and unwilling to be of any use to Jesse and some weirdo just out of the chambers.

Whichever was the case, it left them with only one option: find Sanzar.

-At least I'm pretty sure he can't be out to inspect anything.- Jesse tried to put a positive light on that predicament. -But I don't know where his office is. Most of the science area is off limits to those who don't work there.-

-Lab.- Kieran informed him. -Sanzar would be more likely to have a lab than an office. Or turn his office into a lab. He even experimented in the Academy dorm when we were boys. He blew a hole into the wall once, but it was the wrong wall at least according to Razzle. He thought Sanzar should have blown up the wall that separated us from the warrior students. ... Only, I'm not so sure any of us would have liked it if Amiss and Istar had come through, so it was probably fine as it was.-

-Right.- Jesse said and steered Kieran towards what he hoped was a particularly rarely used lift.

It certainly was from this floor, but since Jesse had no idea of the layout of the science floor nor who up there was in the habit of going where he wasn't at all sure it wasn't much more frequented there.

They were in luck, though. The cabin was empty when it arrived and didn't make an interim stop on the way, though they almost collided with two lab assistants carrying large beakers when they got off. One of the assistants yelped, but both managed not to drop anything and Jesse strode past them as if he knew where he was going.

Kieran followed him past a number of doors labelled with large danger warning signs.

Jesse stopped at the first unlabelled door, glanced up and down the corridor and when he was sure there was nobody in sight put his ear to the door.

-I can't hear a thing.- He informed Kieran. -Think we should go in?-

-No.- Kieran said. -It can't be a weapons lab and certainly not Sanzarsz. That's got to be at the centre of activity around here. I say we go that way.-

The centre of activity was certainly not where Jesse wanted to go, but they did need to find Sanzar and thus he let Kieran take the lead. The direction at least seemed to be correct. The further they went the more people in lab coats they saw going about and the more curious glances they got. Jesse expected to be stopped and asked his business at any moment, but despite the ever increasing number of warning signs there were no guards in evidence.

-Do you know what the colours of the signs mean?- He hissed at Kieran when they were at a comparatively safe distance from the closest scientist.

-They indicate different types of danger.- Kieran replied promptly and more loudly than Jesse liked. -And, yes, all the red and yellow around here means we've taken a wrong turn somewhere. The section we ought to be in should have green and blue signs with no red around at all.-

-Brilliant.- Jesse stated.

-So just what are you looking for?- A blue-skinned woman carrying a large notepad asked. -This isn't exactly the best area to stumble around lost in, you know.-

-And don't I know it.- Kieran told her with a sigh. -But you know, I used to know my way to Sanzarsz lab just fine before they put me in the chambers and I keep forgetting how much time has passed. I thought I knew where I was until about a minute ago.-

The woman snorted.

-Well, won't he ever be pleased to see you.- She commented.

-Oh, I'm sure he will. We go way back. All the way to the Academy.-

-That won't help you when you show up with ... him.- The woman declared glancing meaningfully at Jesse. -But no skin off my back. If you two want your heads bitten off, keep on going straight ahead, turn left after you pass the turbolift, then right at electrical weapons testing, left at the next intersection, forth door on the right. Or you could take my advice and take the turbolift back down to medbay and forget old Sourpuss.-

-Thank you.- Kieran said with a charming smile. -That's most kind of you.-

Unlike most Outriders Jesse knew he apparently had no problems remembering those instructions or which side was left. The next door in front of which he stopped was indeed marked with a large green and blue danger warning.

Jesse reached for the door button, but Kieran slapped his hand away.

Jesse hissed at him in outrage, but Kieran merely pointed at a little lamp glowing above the button.

-Work in progress.- He explained. -We have to wait until that goes out before we can go in ... unless we want to be blown up, or electro-shocked, or burned, or something.-

-Just brilliant.- Jesse declared and wondered just how long they could wait for Sanzar to finish his current experiment without being found by an angry message from Nemesis demanding to know what he was doing here.

On second thought, probably quite a while as long as no reports of him having been seen on this floor filtered through to His Nastiness. After all, nobody would expect him to be where he had no business being and had never set foot before and whomever Nemesis would send wasn't likely to be allowed on this floor any more than Jesse himself was.

He settled in for a long wait.

A second later the light went out.

-There.- Kieran announced triumphantly hitting the door button. -Now we can go in.-

-Well, at least it didn't take l...- Jesse started.

-... know warriors with more brains than you! In fact, I suspect the most stupid warrior alive would know where not to put the firing button on a hand-held weapon! Three years of studying Weapons Technology and you give me this?-

Apparently the test had been cut short by abject failure.

-But I did boost the output.- The hapless victim of Sanzar's ire tried to save himself. -And the button can be moved. It's only a test prototype after all.-

-Test prototype? You call this a prototype? It's a useless pile of junk!- Sanzar raged. -What use is boosting the output if the weapon is so heavy and malformed it takes two people to carry and three to fire it? When I say give me a hand-held weapon, I mean hand-held as in one soldier carries and fires it. Along with the rest of his kit! Now get out of my sight and don't come back until you've produced something that will at least not render all of us a laughing stock the moment an actual soldier sees it!-

-It doesn't look funny to me.- Jesse declared bending over the large gun that lay on the cluttered table in the middle of the room.

Sanzar snorted.

-That's because you're looking at the wrong weapon.- He explained. -That is a hand-held rocket launcher the Mejx lost in their last attack on Fokthet. This here is the joke.-

He held up a strangely shaped object that Jesse had assumed to be some kind of spare part - or maybe something only partially assembled.

-Ooooh.- Made Kieran. -Reminds me of some of the early designs of the Thelth period. Would you mind very much if I have a look at it later?-

Sanzar looked at him, opened his mouth for another outburst, blinked and started. -Kieran?-

-The same.- Kieran announced and then looked back at him and stared as well. -You look ... older.-

-Duh.- Said Jesse, but apparently it was another change Kieran found difficult to assimilate.

For a moment Sanzar looked shocked, then delighted, then amused, but in the end his face settled on apprehensive. Something wasn't quite right here. Maybe a distraction was required before he blew up again.

-Much as I hate to disrupt such a touching reunion of old friends.- Jesse said stepping between the two. -I'm afraid we don't have the time for it or to examine any rocket launchers. We need information before Nemesis tracks me down and demands to know what I'm here for.-

-To waste my time, obviously.- Sanzar declared. -I certainly didn't ask to see you, nor did I ever want to and I don't see why I should put up with your presence.-

-Now, Sanzar ...- Kieran started.

-We need your help.- Jesse snapped.

-Tough luck.- Sanzar declared. -I don't need yours, so I have no reason to help you.-

-How about Razzle?- Jesse challenged.

-Razzle?- Sanzar said quite surprised. -What does he have to do with it?-

-We need your help to help Razzle.- Jesse explained. -You have no reason to want to help us, but as I understand it Razzle is a different matter. Might there be some reason you might want to help him?-

-You want to help Razzle?- Sanzar asked. -Now why do I find that rather hard to believe?-

That didn't bode well.

-I want to help Razzle.- Jesse confirmed. -Because Kieran here tells me that I'm supposed to have gotten him in trouble in the first place. It wasn't my intention to. He's done nothing to deserve any ill from me and I'm not at all sure how it could have happened.-

Sanzar had fallen silent, but said nothing when Jesse stopped and looked at him.

-That's where you come in.- Kieran added helpfully. -Commander Jesse thinks you ought to be able to tell us just what His Nastiness knows that Razzle has done to him.-

-Thinks he knows.- Jesse corrected. -Because Razzle hasn't done anything to me. Except the usual insults, of course. And that's just words and ... damnit, Nemesis's got to know better than to punish Razzle for some casual insult. He's got to know just as well as the rest of us that he doesn't really mean anything by those. So what fucking rumour has he heard and from whom that he actually believes it?-

Sanzar looked Jesse up and down coldly.

-You are not behind that?- He asked finally.

-No!- Jesse yelled quite exasperated. -Why does everybody think I am? Razzle's my dorm elder. Why the fuck would I pick a fight with him?-

-You could change dorms.- Sanzar suggested.

-You could want to take over.- The hapless young scientist with the misshapen gun said.

-At my age?- Jesse asked him.

-Are you still here?- Sanzar demanded.

-Who are you anyway?- Kieran inquired.

-Get out!- Sanzar snarled and didn't take his eyes off the man until the door swished shut behind him breaking the line of sight.

-I like it in Razzlesz dorm.- Jesse informed the head scientist. -I don't think I'd get on well in Istarsz. Orat and I don't get on in any case. And Razzle ... well, we get on fine. Or at least we got on fine until this thing happened. So, I'd like to fix it, Kieran wants to see Razzle and we kind of hope you want him out as well.-

Sanzar nodded suddenly.

-Very well, but then I want to know what Moku has against Razzle.- He declared.

-Moku? It really was Moku?- Jesse asked. -But that doesn't make any sense. Moku's always seemed like a perfectly nice guy. Why would he want to draw the enmity of any Commander?-

-That's exactly what I want to know.- Sanzar said. -Moku is a pathetic coward, always making nice with everybody. So what's driven him to attack Razzle and at the risk of drawing your ire as well?-

-Well, I may have ... It was right after my surgery and I wasn't quite clear in the head from the medicine. I thought Moku of all people would have known I was just babbling nonsense under those circumstances, though.-

-Oh, just brilliant.- Sanzar snapped. -And just how are we going to explain that to a moronic soldier like Nemesis?-

-We'll need to get Moku to confirm it.- Kieran decided. -Withdraw his tale.-

Sanzar snorted.

-Nemesis may be a soldier, but he isn't a moron.- Jesse said. -He's one of the smartest Outrider soldiers there are.-

-That's not saying much.- Sanzar sneered.

-And he was meant to study Medicine himself.- Jesse continued undaunted. -He knows quite a bit about it. I'm sure he must know about the effect painkillers have on one's mind if we all do. Neither of you studied Medicine, right? Besides, we can get Razzle to confirm it. Razzle knows exactly how to talk to Nemesis.-

-He wasn't any good at talking himself out of the accusation the first time around.- Sanzar pointed out.

-That's because he didn't know how he came to be accused at all.- Jesse insisted. -Because he hadn't done anything and didn't expect me or Moku to attack him. He can do this with me there to explain and confirm it all.-

-But he won't be there unless Nemesis sends for him.- Sanzar pointed out.

-Unless I bring him. Kieran says he knows how to open a locked door with a magnet. Do you have a magnet?-

Sanzar snorted, pulled an assortment of all sorts of odds and ends out of his pocket, picked out a coin-shaped object and flipped it at Jesse.

-That should do for that little trick.- He stated. -Just don't get him in deeper trouble than he's already in or I'll show you what I can do with magnets, though.- 


	30. Chapter 29: Surprise Meetings

Disclaimer 1: This is fanfic. That means I do not own any of it. I just borrow it to play with for a little while and let people see the pathetic results if they really want to.

Disclaimer 2: I'm not making any money from it. It's just for fun.

Disclaimer 3: What isn't borrowed is all made up. None of this is real or most likely at all realistic. Please don't trust any of the information in here. Most likely you know more about whatever I'm writing about than I do.

Disclaimer 4: Attitudes, views and opinions expressed by the characters or in the story are not necessarily those of the author. Even when writing Science Fiction or Fantasy I do not tend to attempt to create perfect/better worlds in which everybody gets a happy end ... or whatever is best for them. Please accept that some characters will have a bad ending or be unhappy.

Disclaimer 5: I intend no insult to anyone. If I offend anyone I'm very sorry. Please understand that it was an accident as I tend to be very clumsy in these things.

Chapter 29: Surprise Meetings

At least Jesse knew his way around the isolation quarters. Little had changed in that part of the base since the days when he'd still lived there himself.

It had never been a very frequented area and wasn't now either. Most of the rooms remained obviously uninhabited and used as storage spaces.

For a moment Jesse felt surprised that it was his own old room that alone had an active lock on it, but then he realised that he should have expected it. Though they must have exchanged the furniture to suit an Outrider occupant it would have been the one that could be returned to its original use the quickest since it had had the least time for all sorts of temporarily out of use furniture and equipment to accumulate. It certainly must have been the least dusty as well.

-Well.- He said to Kieran. -Here we are, but that looks like one impressively secure lock. Rather similar to those on the prisoner holds, isn't it?-

Kieran shrugged.

-I've never seen those.- He admitted. -I'm a civilian, remember? The trick's good, though. It ought to work on anything, even prison cells.-

-I doubt that.- Jesse told him honestly. -It seems to be too widely known never to have been used in a prison break before. Surely whoever builds those locks must have guarded against it.-

-The lock has nothing to do with it.- Kieran explained with a grin. -It affects the door mechanism itself, not the locking or unlocking one. Besides, the worst thing that can happen is that we can't get in. In that case you'll have to go to His Nastiness without Razzle to support you and convince him by yourself. I thought you said you can do that?-

-Sure I can.- Jesse declared, though there never was any sure when it came to Nemesis. His Nastiness was a tyrant and all too often acted the part. -But it might take quite a while. I don't want to keep Razzle suffering any longer than we have to.-

Though, just how detrimental would it be to their efforts if they triggered an alarm and got caught trying to break into Razzle's ... would it be quarters or cell?

-Then let's do this.- Kieran decided, placed one hand against the door to measure whatever distance from the wall he required and then put the magnet beside it, then removed his hand and pulled the magnet first to the side and then in a little circle.

The door obediently gave the usual hiss and slid open, the lock glowing on its locked and secured signal obliviously.

-Alright.- Jesse admitted. -That is a good trick.-

-Just what do you ...- Razzle started to say from inside, but stopped at the sight of his visitors. -Rockets?-

Kieran stared back at him dumbly and just for a moment Jesse was confused as well, but he was too used to Outrider nicknames and Razzle's habitual use of them to be puzzled into inaction for long.

And he had seen Kieran's reaction to Sanzar's changed appearance and how long it had taken him to get over that.

-Don't just stand around here!- He hissed. -We can't afford to be caught standing in the open door. Will the magnet work from inside as well?-

-Of course it will.- Razzle replied in Kieran's place. -But what the fuck are you two doing here?-

Jesse grabbed Kieran by both shoulders and forcefully pushed him through the door then limped in after him quickly followed by Avada and pushed the closing mechanism.

Nothing happened.

Razzle snorted, gave the kitten a rather unimpressed glance, stepped past his visitors, reached through the door, plucked the magnet off it and then hit the closing mechanism.

The door hissed and closed obediently. The lock gave one little beep at that, but nobody paid it any mind.

Instead Razzle regarded the magnet with a touch of surprise and possibly even a hint of ... outrage?

-Did you two steal Sanzarsz pocket magnet?- He demanded.

-No.- Jesse assured him. -He gave it to us.-

Razzle pocketed it.

-He shouldn't have.- He declared. -You might lose it.-

-Is it that valuable?- Jesse asked rather surprised.

-I don't know.- Razzle admitted. -But he's been carrying that same one ever since his student days. I'll give it back to him ... as soon as I can.- He sat back down on the bed and regarded his visitors sternly. -Now, what the fuck are you doing here? You seem to be aware that you could get all three of us into a lot of trouble, so what's worth that?-

-We've come to break you out.- Kieran explained.

-And what good is that supposed to do? I have magnets of my own and I know how to use them, Rockets. If I wanted to break out, I'd do so, but it won't do to just ignore Nemesissz punishments. He'll come up with something worse to do to you once he finds out and I'm much too high profile for it to go undetected.-

Kieran stared at the floor like a scolded schoolboy.

-You don't deserve to be punished at all.- Jesse told Razzle. -And I'm going to tell Nemesis so, but I want you there to help me convince him. You're better at predicting him than me.-

Razzle regarded him.

-Then why did you start this in the first place?- He asked. -What did you mean to gain?-

-Gain? By wh... oh.- Jesse realised. -Nothing. I was just ... I was hurt and angry and probably not quite clear in the head after the surgery. I guess I needed an outlet and you just happened to be a convenient person to blame. And Moku was someone to rail at. I didn't think he'd do anything about it. I thought he'd be used to patients venting at him and wouldn't pay it much mind. I ... I'm really sorry, Razzle. I shouldn't have blamed you. You don't deserve that.-

Razzle just continued to look at him for a while, then nodded.

-I'm sorry, too.- He said softly.

-For what? You didn't do anything to me.-

-Yes, I did. Not on Arthame, but I did almost exactly the same thing to you after Yuma. You asked Gattler who of the Elhessare had been killed and I could have told you, but all I could think of was that you hadn't asked about Kiervie ... Of course you hadn't. You didn't know her, so you didn't care ... And so I hurt you by refusing you the information. I could have told you and told you about Kiervie and you would have cared then, but instead I left you to worry and wonder and I know, I've known for a while now, that that's had at least a part in causing your nightmares. I should have seen that. I should have remembered my duty to you, but all I thought of was that I was hurting and I wanted you to hurt, too.-

-I didn't know.- Jesse said. -I didn't realise you were hurting. I thought everybody who'd lost relatives would be away grieving and you were here, so I assumed you were fine. I'm not sure about the nightmares, though. I think I'd have had those anyway. I'd probably just have dreamed about the people who actually died instead of others who might have.-

-It might have been easier. I could have made it easier anyway, if I'd told you sooner, or told Iktrz. Maybe you're braver than me. You had the courage to admit right away when you realised you'd made a mistake.-

Jesse snorted.

-Hardly.-He decided. -It's just that after all the drunken misadventures and the nightmares and waking everybody up with my screams in the middle of the night I have nothing left to be proud of, so what's admitting to yet another embarrassing failure?-

-Don't you?- Razzle asked, but just then Avada's exploration of the room took him to the bed and he stopped in front of Razzle and looked up at him curiously.

Jesse could feel that curiosity like a question in his mind and he replied without thinking. -That's Razzle. You've got to like him, Avada. He's my friend.-

And Razzle turned his attention to the kitten and the kitten put his front paws on his knees and stuck his nose in Razzle's face and gave him a very gentle lick. Apparently he did indeed like Razzle.

Razzle rubbed his ears as Jesse had seen Outriders do with their cumbats and inspected the kitten as best he could from that awkward point of view.

-That belongs to you then?- He asked Jesse. -A bit scrawny, but I assume it's expected to grow quite a bit larger?-

-I guess to about the same size as the mother was.- Jesse replied. -Or do the males tend to be smaller? The runt of the litter's a female, though, and the rest are all about the same size. Avada isn't the biggest of the lot, but I expect he'll grow about as big as he should be.-

Razzle shrugged. -Ask a biologist. This is only the second time I've seen a real cat-of-war up close. Usually you only see them at a distance, if at all. There are plenty of illustrations and statues, of course, but you never know how well the artists know their subjects either. Avada, you say? I don't think I've ever heard that word before.-

-It's a made up one from a childrens' book.- Jesse admitted. -A magic spell. Don't ask me why. He picked it and he won't accept anything else.-

-At least it's sure to be unique.- Razzle commented. -Not that there are likely to be enough tame cats-of-war around to get confused which is which anytime soon.-

And then he turned his attention to Kieran and it was quite a while before they got around to discussing their next steps.

Razzle refused to rush into things ill prepared and thus, by the time they went to find Nemesis the whole base was searching for Jesse and His Nastiness' first anger had cooled down. It was approaching his usual dinner time and he was contemplating leaving the matter for tomorrow rather than delaying the meal. Jesse's antics, entertaining as they often were, weren't worth going hungry for and while he hadn't been expected to return to the Warworld at this time, he certainly wasn't forbidden to.

Perhaps, Nemesis mused, Jesse had picked a quarrel with Istar and decided he was no longer safe living under the same roof with him. Those two weren't made to get along. Or perhaps Afrar Irozz had tired of his house guest now that the reason for his stay had passed.

Or, quite possibly, Jesse didn't trust a stranger to treat his leg and had come to get Moku's opinion on its condition. That would be wise, come to think of it, since Moku was the best expert on half-fleshlings they had and the Elhessar medical staff wasn't likely to ever have seen one before ... other than Jesse and then probably eating dinner several tables away from them. Only the head doctor would be likely to be allowed to sit near the Commanders in that house.

Yes, with Jean Claude's birthday ceremony over and having had plenty of time to see what few sights worth seeing Rukkat had as of yet and with the war preventing him from returning home to recover, Jesse had probably decided that the Warworld was the most practical place to recover.

Perhaps he could even make himself useful in preparing attack plans. The plans Orat and Brunhilda had presented this morning had resulted in quite a tirade from Razzle and even Gaspar burying his face in his hands at one point. Gaspar, as far as Nemesis was aware, knew little to nothing of the finer points of offensive strategy.

Nemesis had had to take Razzle off his current project to put the mess to rights and since Razzle's current project had been to review and update their overall war strategy and choose their next targets for attack it was rather vital.

Jesse could ... Well no, Jesse would not work with Orat voluntarily, though he and Brunhilda certainly were a combination worth trying.

Brunhilda was competent, daring without Mohawk's utter inability to judge the risks he was taking or Istar's unfortunate habit of throwing caution to the wind entirely once battle was joined. She knew how to combine different sorts of troops efficiently and had a good grasp of what manoeuvres they could execute under what circumstances and in what combinations. As such she could be used as a small scale tactician.

What she lacked was a large scale tactician's ability to keep the wider picture of the front in mind at all times and of course the strategist's foresight and ability to predict the long-term repercussions of several different possible outcomes. Jesse could supply those while he lacked the detailed knowledge of Outrider troops due to having been trained to command the technically much inferior Fleshling versions of them. That had been a bonus in the Fleshling war, but was a damned nuisance now.

Of course, from what Jesse had told him of his simulator practise with his fellow Commanders, Razzle had apparently started to work on the problem long before Nemesis had noticed it, but still, simulations were one thing, formal training and experience another.

It would have been preferable to have Jesse work with Brunhilda and return Razzle to the overall planning, but thanks to Orat's feud with Jesse it would have to be the other way around.

Damn Jesse's leg injury anyway. If it weren't for that, Nemesis would simply exchange Jesse and Orat giving him a competent strategist on the ground on Szurat while Orat could be attached to Point where he could talk his fellow Commander's ears off, but not have any relevant effect on his tactics, Point having clear seniority over him and not being inclined to be impressed by long-winded speeches he couldn't understand.

He momentarily contemplated recalling Lutatz from Arthame, but there was no better man or better suited combination of units for that job. No, Jesse in the condition he was in would have to do and he really should consider himself lucky to have that much. Only yesterday he'd still been assuming that Jesse would be entirely wasted potential for quite a while longer.

-Ah well.- He declared getting off his throne. -If he cannot be found, I'll speak with Jesse tomorrow morning. Has anyone thought of checking the med bay, though?-

-Med bay?- Orat gaped at him.

It was unfortunate that he was the only Commander present right now Gaspar having gone to search in person and Brunhilda and Razzle being off duty and most likely already enjoying their dinners. Well, not so much enjoying his lonely dinner in Razzle's case, Nemesis hoped, but at least those two didn't have to go hungry.

-He is recovering from a leg replacement.- Nemesis reminded Orat. -Most likely he'll want it looked at by our resident half-fleshling expert. If he isn't doing that right now, he's most likely in the mess having dinner and planning to go to med bay afterwards or tomorrow morning. So, tell Moku to tell him that I want him to report to me first thing in the morning. I ...-

The door swished open admitting Jesse, Razzle and a black cat-of-war that entered the throne room with a proud meow and immediately proceeded to sniff the closer door guard.

-What is that?- Nemesis demanded staring at the impertinent creature.

-My kitten.- Jesse replied easily. -He's perfectly tame, but curious. He hasn't seen much of the world yet, you see.-

He made no move to restrain the cat and Nemesis didn't order it. He wasn't sure as of what age a cat-of-war could be expected to understand and obey commands and this one had to be quite young since Jesse hadn't had him when he'd left for Rukkat.

Or at least Nemesis assumed that he'd have heard about it if there had ever been any impertinent kittens exploring the med bay.

-And just what are you doing here?- He demanded instead. -I thought you were on medical leave on Rukkat.-

-I was, but now I've come to report back for active duty.-

Nemesis looked pointedly at Jesse's crutch.

Jesse shrugged. -So I'm not quite fit for hand to hand combat, yet. I mean to borrow a hazt-copter. Pilots I have plenty and the controls of the on-board weapons systems don't include any foot pedals. It'll mean staying further in the rear than I'm used to, but the first battle-line isn't the best command position anyway. I'm well enough to be effective.-

More effective than Nemesis had hoped certainly.

-If you are completely sure.- He said therefore. -You can take Oratsz place in the Szurat attack. I did want someone with long term planning ability on the ground there anyway.-

-Szurat requires heavy guns!- Orat squeaked outraged.

-Which is why Jesse will replace you and not Brunhilda.- Nemesis cut him off quickly. He was too hungry to listen to long speeches right now. -The heavy guns are hers and your spacecraft are just what we want reinforcing the space-line. It will require a thorough review and adaptation of the attack plans, but Razzle only just started that anyway. I trust there won't be much time lost if Jesse starts that over and you return to your former assignment?-

-No, Your Nastiness. The alterations I've made so far are far too general to be affected by the differences between Oratsz and Jessesz units.- Razzle assured him. -Jesse can continue right where I left off ... if you give me perhaps half a day to introduce him to the general situation and my ideas about it.-

-He'll have his own ideas.- Orat complained.

-Probably.- Jesse agreed pleasantly. -But most of the time they align with Razzlesz well enough. We'll lose a day or two at best ... and I am eager to get back to the front. It's why I came.-

-Excellent.- Nemesis allowed himself to purr, then whirled round on Razzle and snapped: -And just what are you doing here in the first place?-

-I released him.- Jesse said. -He doesn't deserve to be punished and I understand the decision was based on some utterings I made while I was drugged and in pain. I'm not sure what misled Moku into judging them reliable statements, but then I have been told that my Fleshling blood has very difficult to predict effects on my reaction to medication. I assume I must have sounded more coherent than I actually was.-

Nemesis hissed. Taking back a decision like this could easily lead to a loss of face that could affect discipline and the security of the hold he had on a throne that was already under attack.

On the other hand having Razzle available for offworld missions again was more than desirable.

-I fully understand that you never thought to question Mokusz judgement of my coherence.- Jesse assured him. -You neither saw nor heard my statements yourself and he is our best medical expert and I wasn't available to confirm or deny anything. I am present and fully coherent now, though, and prepared to satisfy you on every point that you suspect might have been misconstrued in any way.-

Nemesis thought for a moment.

-According to Mokusz report you specifically requested Razzlesz assistance during your fight with Ettar?- He demanded then.

-Not quite.- Jesse said. -There was no time for anything of the sort at that point. I did request Razzlesz help earlier when I passed him as I was chasing Ettar on foot.-

-Razzle refused to give that aid because he did not wish to hurt Gattler?-

-Razzle was at a deadlock with Gattler at that moment and chose not to make an attempt to withdraw from that situation. He could have attempted to shoot and free himself by killing or at least incapacitating Gattler, but he judged ... and I fully agree with that judgement ... that it would be preferable to take Gattler alive. In addition he could not be sure of his shot and in case of a miss he'd have rendered himself vulnerable to Gattlersz counter-attack or allowed him to change to a better position while his blaster recharged.-

-A matter of a few heartbeats.- One of the scientists remarked drawing an angry glare from Sanzar that rather amused Nemesis.

-Heartbeats that a good soldier knows to make use of, I assure you.- Jesse countered. -I've often done it and I am sure so has Gattler. If Razzle had joined my chase leaving Gattler active in our backs, Gattler would have been free to follow putting us at risk of being shot from behind. Also consider that Ettar, too, was on foot at the time, we didn't know the layout of the cave or the position of the Icebird. The situation looked like Ettar and I were as evenly matched as Razzle and Gattler and by continuing to focus on Gattler Razzle was giving us the chance to take them both which would have been quite the triumph for our side. Things didn't work out that way, but that's the chances of battle. We always have to make split-second decisions without knowing all the facts or having time to contemplate everything we know. Razzlesz decision was solid at the time he made it. Whether or not it was right or wrong depends on whether or not he'd have gotten a good hit on Gattler, whether or not Gattler would have chased after us, whether or not Gattler would have managed to take out one or both of us from behind before we could have reached and taken out Ettar.-

Nemesis silenced him with a flick of his hand.

-You do seem very sure that the two of you together would have stood a better chance against the Icebird than you did alone.- He stated. -That's the one point in Mokusz report that gave me pause to start with. Hand weapons can't do much against its armour and personal body armour is little protection against its weight.-

-As I am living proof.- Jesse confirmed ruefully. -But that's the thing. The one clear advantage Razzlesz help would have had is that ... unless Gattler had taken one of us out first ... one of us would have reached Ettar before he'd have had time to get into the ship and power it up. That's due to the layout of the cave which neither Razzle nor I knew at the time I asked him for support, though, so you can't and I shouldn't have blamed him for not taking it into consideration.-

Jesse certainly had formed a strong loyalty to Razzle ... which on second thought shouldn't have surprised Nemesis. Razzle had shown loyalty to him before and he tended to form tight and lasting bonds when he did. It should have been a foregone conclusion once Razzle had lost his dislike of Jesse.

There'd be no protest from Jesse if he let Razzle go, nor did he expect any of the other Commanders to protest. Well, Istar perhaps, but with Jesse siding with Razzle Jean Claude would probably stay out of the matter and the Elhessare were best served by Nemesis remaining firmly in power. Afrar Irozz or Irstz would whistle Istar back before he got too vehement in his protest.

Razzlesz troops, too, were on their Commander's side and with any luck those troops not currently on the Warworld would take little to no notice of the matter if it wasn't made too big a deal of.

As for the units on the Warworld, Razzlesz were safe, Jesse could be trusted to control his own, as most likely could Gaspar. He was friendly to Razzle as well in any case.

That left Orat and Brunhilda both of whom were supposed to leave the planet soon. In fact ...

-Orat, are your troops ready to be deployed tomorrow?- Nemesis demanded.

-What?!- Yelped Orat.

-Then why are you still here?!- He thundered. -I told you I want you to join Point and since that doesn't require any mission planning I want you to do so AT ONCE!-

-I ... I ... Yes, Your Nastiness! I'll ... I'll ... just go and see to it ...-

That should keep him and his soldiers too busy to cause any trouble even though Nemesis doubted that they would actually leave tomorrow. It was too late in the day for that now.

He returned his attention to Razzle. The idle presence of Brunhilda's troops couldn't be helped, so he'd have to trust in their Commander having no wish to get on either his or Razzle's bad side ... or Jesse's now that she was about to go out on a mission with him.

-Ettar was a much more desirable target than Gattler.- He declared. -And I believe both of you must have seen that clearly. Neither of you is that stupid.- Damn it, they were the smartest Commanders he had. -Still, I can accept that you assumed Jesse could take Ettar on his own as long as you kept Gattler off his back. You have trained with both of them.-

-I am ... reasonably confident that Jesse could win a hand to hand fight against Ettar under equal conditions.- Razzle said with just a moment's hesitation. -It is impossible to predict conditions on a battlefield and neither of the two had ever seen the other fight. Jesse had the advantage in so far as he still uses a lot of moves he learned in his Fleshling training. Ettar has never fought a Fleshling and would be surprised, while his own repertoire, though equally unknown to Jesse, consists of mostly standard Outrider moves that Jesse is likely to have seen before. Gattler seemed the bigger threat to him as he is familiar with his style and ... has shown in sparring matches that he knows how to use his superior weight and strength to overpower Jesse. Though, of course, I was expecting them to use their blasters. Jesse has better aim than either of the two, but with one on each side could have covered only one at a time.-

-Though you could have taken the other.- Nemesis pointed out.

-With less chance of success.- Razzle returned annoyingly unbothered. -There's a reason I was doubtful of my shot at Gattler.-

Oh? This was news to Nemesis.

-You took no injuries in that battle as far as I know.- He snapped. What else hadn't he been told before?

-I didn't.- Razzle confirmed. -But you are probably aware of my artificial eye? While it does ensure that I have depth vision at all it isn't the equal of that of an Outrider with two healthy eyes and I am getting old. I do not compensate as well as I used to. Jesse did have a very good point with what he said earlier: A Commander's place is not in the first line of battle. We should never both have flown into that cave and joined the melee. That was the real mistake. Considering my age I should have stayed outside to coordinate and direct the surrounding troops while Jesse should have followed in the rear of the entering troops to supervise and direct them. It wouldn't have changed much of the outcome, but have reduced the risk of the whole falling into confusion by either of us being killed or some unit not receiving urgently required orders.-

-Subcommander Ramszet reacted admirably well there.- Jesse threw in. -I never realised he could be trusted to give his own orders in the absence of a superior officer, but luckily nothing entirely unexpected occurred and he was able to cope with the expected.-

-Growing fond of your main idiot there?- Razzle teased.

-Quite. He's no sort of Second and never will be, mind you, but he's a finer Subcommander than I gave him credit for in the past. I wouldn't want to lose him at this point in any case.-

-At this point?- Nemesis asked intrigued by the change of attitude.

-I know there are better Subcommanders out there and I'd like to have a team of the very best.- Jesse informed him. -But I find that that is currently outside my reach. It will take time to collect exactly the right officers and until I do I mean to keep the best I can get ... and Ramszet is the best I have right now.-

-Isn't!- Snapped Razzle.

-Indeed.- Nemesis purred enjoying this moment much more than he should considering all he had just learned. -I'd say the best you have is Kieste and I'd keep him if I were you.-

-What?- Gasped Jesse. -Permanently? ... I mean, Jatt told me you'd put Kieste in command of my troops, but I thought he was a loan because you ... wisely ... didn't trust Ramszet to handle the job in my absence.-

-Kieste remains with you.- Nemesis ordered sharply. -You need competent Subcommanders and while I prefer Razzle free to be used on the front I'm not fool enough not to see his real reasons for not shooting Gattler when he had the chance. ... What I don't see are your reasons for adopting Razzlesz cause to your own disadvantage and that makes me wonder whether I have been wise to grant you so much. I suggest you quit while you're ahead. I might still change my mind.-

-I see no disadvantage in returning what I never meant to take from Razzle.- Jesse assured him hastily. -And every advantage in being on good terms with my dorm mates. I was keeping the position of my second open on purpose as I had a specific officer in mind for it.-

-And Kieste does not fulfil your requirements?- Nemesis asked. -I dare say you'll look for a long time if you insist on someone better.-

-Kieste never crossed my mind.- Jesse had to admit, then realised that there was only one point on which he could challenge his suitability. -He is personally loyal to Razzle. My second, above all others, should be personally loyal to me.-

-You who've always denied loyalty to your clan are seeking a blood connection now that we have no Artheze left in our army?- Nemesis asked honestly surprised.

And at that moment it hit Jesse like a solid block of ice to the stomach. Kieste - Kiervie. Nemesis hadn't just taken a favourite and particularly competent officer from Razzle, he'd separated him from his own child. After he'd already so tragically lost another. How could he accept this?

-I ...- He couldn't deny that Urak was a rebel and currently unavailable. -Do not see what personal loyalty has to do with blood. The most personally loyal officer I have right now is Ramszet who is no blood connection of mine in any way.-

-Very well.- Nemesis granted. -But as you keep reminding us Ramszet is not fit for the position and if he were who you wanted you could have given him the position at any time. No doubt he'd have been overjoyed. Yet you say you have a specific officer in mind. Whom?-

-I ... - Oh damn it, he couldn't say Urak. -Would rather not make that public knowledge, Your Nastiness. Somebody else might be inspired to snatch him away.-

Nemesis glanced around the room demonstratively.

-I hardly think Razzle would if he had Kieste back.- He declared. -And Orat is no longer here to hear. And you have aroused my curiosity, so ...-

And luckily Jesse had had sufficient time to think of someone that would hopefully not sound entirely ludicrous.

-Nevar.- He claimed. -It would strengthen my friendly ties with Elhessar and I have it from Afrar Irozz personally that they are hoping for a transfer to a very different Commander for him to increase his versatility. His experience so far has been a little one-sided in his Afrarsz opinion.-

-So you'd have to work on that versatility experience.- Nemesis pointed out. -While in Kieste you have a second with all the experience and versatility you could possibly desire. Not to mention that he gives you a tie to a clan with which you do not yet have one while Nevar would only strengthen one that is already strong.-

-There is an advantage a less experienced second like Nevar has over Kieste.- Razzle threw in unexpectedly. So far he'd been suspiciously quiet on this matter and Jesse had suspected that he'd already given it up as a lost cause. ... Or had he entertained hopes that he had better chances to succeed if he postponed the fight to a different day?

-Oh really?- Nemesis said. -And what would that be?-

-I was expecting to eventually lose Kieste by promotion.- Razzle stated calmly ... or at least outwardly so. -We have several retired Commanders back in service now, but that cannot last. As this civil war continues you will be forced to promote the most experienced Subcommanders either in their places or to provide further options as the number of occupied and fought over worlds increases. Kieste is an obvious choice while Nevar due to his lack of versatility will probably be passed over for a few more years. I had a successor for Kieste picked out and prepared before you reassigned him. Jesse quite obviously does not and will be back in the same unfortunate position the moment Kieste is promoted. He is better served by a less competent officer that he can expect to keep for several years ... as I had Kieste.-

-An interesting thought.- Nemesis purred too dangerously. -I have not had time to consider candidates for promotion to Commander yet, but you are quite right that we have a shortage. Whether or not Kieste is a candidate, though, is not something I am ready to decide here and now. Still, just in case he is, it might indeed be wise to let Jesse have a suitable ... third, I guess. Do make that offer to Nevar, Jesse, and feel free to tell him that I consider it a good one even if it is not a second position right now.-

-Fucking cumbat.- Jesse commented to Razzle on their way out. -What do we do now?-

-Go to the mess.- Razzle replied easily enough. -I don't know what schedule your stomach is on but mine wants dinner.-

Jesse shrugged and turned towards the elevator obligingly. Dinner did not sound like a bad idea, though he wasn't particularly hungry yet.

-About Kieste, I mean.- He explained. -I really don't want to get between you two.-

Razzle snorted.

-You flatter yourself too much if you think you can. I certainly didn't want to lose him, but I meant what I told Nemesis. I was fully prepared for it and you are much too young to take my place in the family. You'll be a little brother to him at best. Expect to be lectured by your second ... In fact, you might want to listen to those lectures even if you don't like them. Kieste has had a lot of training you missed out on. He's prepared to be a Commander in every way. He's no strategist, but he understands the basics and will be much better able to work with you than the staff you are used to. And you also finally have your tech officer in him. All in all, he's just what you need. Except for that tiny detail that Nemesis is going to promote him any moment now.-

-He'll probably hold back on that now that he's publicly denied having contemplated it at all yet.- Jesse warned him.

-Of course he will. But he also had to confirm that he has that plan. Are you quite sure you can get Nevar?-

-If you don't want him, probably.-

-Me? Why would I? Or he want me? Elhessar hates Lareth and me particularly.-

-That's exactly why they want Nevar on your staff.- Jesse admitted. -The only thing against me is that they want him to learn to work with people who are not family or allies.-

-Why?- Razzle asked immediately. -He's not in line to become a Commander soon and by their traditions his is a side-line, so being promoted to Commander is the only thing that will make him a politician. As a soldier he can move among family members and allies perfectly fine and it will further his career more.-

-Mmmm ... Not completely a side-line yet it appears.- Jesse decided to reveal after a moment. -It seems there is precedent for nephews of the Weapons Master succeeding when there aren't sufficient qualified sons available.-

The Elhessare would not like him revealing their internal politics to Razzle of all people, but Razzle was likely to see and understand connections Jesse was missing. Perhaps this way he could find out the root of Jean Claude's problem.

-But there are two sons.- Razzle pointed out. -And two daughters. What's the problem?-

-I'm not entirely sure. The intricacies of clan affairs, especially clans not my own, still elude me too often. Jensz is definitely out of the running, though. A scientist is unacceptable as Weapons Master, never mind that she fights well enough as far as I can tell. Jenny is still a candidate, but a doubtful one. From what I have seen she wants a career in science as well, but the clan is dead set against it in order to keep her as a candidate. I expect if she's forced into the army against her will she'll develop an ever increasing dislike of fighting that will disqualify her as well.-

-That still leaves Jatt for Weapons Master and Jean Claude Afrar. That'd be my choices in any case.- Razzle remarked.

-Right, but ... can I tell you this entirely in confidence? I'm not sure Irstz and Irozz have caught on to it, yet, and in Jean Claudesz interest I'd rather they don't find out if it can be avoided.-

-Jean Claude is as much my puppy as you are, Puppy. I'll do what I can to protect him and help him along.-

-Will you? He's still Elhessar. And Istarsz son at that.-

-And I pity him for it. I'll keep his secret, don't worry.-

-Very well. He dislikes politics and would therefore rather not be Afrar. For some reason Irozz and Irstz seem convinced that there is something serious standing against him becoming Weapons Master, though, and to make matters worse Jatt, too, would prefer to be Weapons Master. His performance so far, especially the infamous cat incident, has created some doubt in his suitability for that role as well, though. Enter Jenny and Nevar as possible alternatives should either Jean Claude or Jatt be judged unsuitable for both positions.-

-There's another nephew as well, isn't there?- Razzle asked. -Irtzsz surviving son?-

-Yes, Taret. Like Jenny he is considered too young to be evaluated as a candidate, yet. Nevar is not. He's to be prepared for the role just in case.-

-That they are grooming him for politics indicates that it's Afrar, not Weapons Master they are considering him for, so it's Jean Claude that is threatened there. ... It also means I might be interested in taking a hand in his grooming after all.-

-Why would you, too, prefer Jean Claude for Afrar?- Jesse asked him. -He's the better fighter, I think, and closer to me, which the racist element in Elhessar should not like to see in their Afrar. Why not make him Weapons Master as he'd like to be?-

-Because, from what I've seen of his interactions with his girlfriends, he's not likely to ever find a wife and have children.-

-He wants children more than anything!- Jesse protested.

-But not the wife.- Razzle countered. -Loveless marriages are less likely to produce offspring and such offspring are more likely to go wrong. A perfectly natural rebellion against the unpleasant home situation such marriages create. Jean Claude will be better served by becoming Afrar and satisfying his fatherly feelings by tending to all the children of his clan.-

-But will he be good at the political end of that?-

-No. But that doesn't mean Nevar is necessarily the better choice. Do you know him well?-

-I've never met him.- Jesse admitted. -But he can't be worse than Ramszet or Jatt.-

-Then I actually have the advantage over you. I've attended some functions he was at and we were introduced at some point. He mostly glared at me which is no indicator of the level of intelligence in an Elhessar. Kieste was at the Academy with him, though. He might know more.-

Jesse sighed.

-I guess it's only fair that I let you have him since I cost you Kieste. I have plenty of connections with Elhessar in any case.-

-I'm not sure I want him yet.- Razzle said. -I want a look at him and a proper conversation. He might be politically interesting, but that glare didn't indicate he'd be willing to learn anything from me and if he's going to upset the team I have he is a detriment. For me connections with Elhessar will always have to be frail things. On that note, you might want to consult Kieste before you do anything final. He and Jatt rubbed along tolerably well on Arthame, but that may have been at least partially due to Jatt being in disgrace over the cat incident. Maybe you should have told Nemesis you would rather forego any ties with Lareth in order not to strain the ones you already have with Elhessar.-

-Because that would have been totally credible when I was there defending you.- Jesse reminded him. -I ... need Elhessar right now, since I have noone else, but I don't like being dependent on them. So far they have asked nothing of me that I wasn't happy enough to give, but that was pure luck. ... Of course having Kieste on my staff is hardly going to give me the counterweight I used to have in Arthez. I know him, I know you, Ramszet would probably do a whole lot for me to please me, but would any of you support me in a quarrel that will affect your clan's relationship with Elhessar?-

-Kieste doesn't have the weight for it.- Razzle replied surprisingly readily. -Ramszet ... might, but you are a stranger to his Afrar and he has to be aware of his son's shortcomings. I'd angle for an introduction to the more politically capable members of the clan there. They'll be interested in you, too, so you might get yourself a deal. I doubt it'll stretch as far as them following you into a fight with Elhessar that they'd rather avoid, but they can be useful in the political arena. As for me ... My dorm is my responsibility and as the youngest you can expect special consideration, but you are not my first and uppermost concern. Whether or not I'll go into a fight with Elhessar at any given time depends on many factors. Do tell me when you are about to fight, but don't count on me for sure.-

-Lareth comes first? I can see that. They have no alliance with Elhessar that you'd break, though, do they?-

-Not through me. I do have the advantage that not everything I do or say against Elhessar must necessarily draw my clan into the matter. I can act independently as long as I'm seen to be reacting to a personal insult and possibly stage a demonstration that I am acting against Afrar Theksz wishes. That means mainly altercations in which Istar is a prominent actor on Elhessarsz side. If I go straight for Afrar Izozzsz throat that will mean war between Elhessar and Lareth.-

Jesse nodded.

-I'll bear that in mind. How do I go about getting the backing of another clan, though? I rather stumbled into it with Elhessar and can't quite figure out what did it.-

-In all honesty? I can't figure that one out either. Remember that I have seen little of your interactions with them aside from the ones with Jean Claude and Jatt. Neither of them is in a position to make Afrar Irozz grant you more than permission to enter the house. Istar might be, but as I understand it he is the one most opposed to you.-

-Quite so. He wants his children to have nothing to do with half-Fleshlings, Fleshlings or in fact anything that isn't a preferably old blood fully Outrider member of the Outrider army. As far as he's concerned I'm a bad influence on Jean Claude and a disastrous one on Jenny.-

-Jenny?-

-She wants to study exo-biology.-

-Eclectic.- Razzle commented. -A pity she won't get her way.-

-Don't be too sure of that yet. There has at least been discussion of the possibility of her attending the Science Academy. Istar is the one dead set against it. Irozz might be brought around. Irstz can see some merit in it. Anyway, Istar tolerates me on Irozzsz orders. He didn't start this.-

-So this comes either directly from Irozz or from Irstz. They are the real politicians of the lot and make very complex schemes. Without having been there at the time I cannot tell what they may have been thinking.-

-Well, I can tell you that the first abrupt change in their attitude towards me was Irozzsz decision alone. We were negotiating Cainsz stay with the Elhessare and Cain was the only third person present. At the time I took it as mere curiosity on his part, though. He wanted to know me better so he provided for more contact. We made one deal at the time. Everything else came later ... and quite often via Irstz, so it may be that he was the one that first thought of extending the relationship to something more lasting than Cainsz stay.-

-Possible.- Razzle agreed. -Just what obligations have you made towards them?-

-Initially I promised them one favour, which is already paid.-

-Taking on Jatt?- Razzle guessed.

-No, that's a private deal between Jatt and me which I may remind you was proposed to me while I was delirious. You can't hold that against me.-

Razzle laughed.

-Then what?-

Jesse shook his head.

-Something I actually would have done anyway and they don't want to get about. That's why I say I've been lucky so far. Irstz also reminded me that I have a special obligation towards their surviving children after Yuma, though. That one will be a lifelong debt, but I mean to honour it by supporting their careers in the army. I should get some capable officers and soldiers that are slightly more loyal than I can expect people of another clan to be out of that. Considering what Laxus has made of most of what Arthez has to offer right now, I can use that. But it's all tying me ever closer to Elhessar and with Arthez out of the picture I'm beginning to worry I might end up essentially an Elhessar commoner, fully at Afrar Irozzsz command.-

-Marry an elector noble.- Razzle stated. -One that is not an Elhessar.-

-Marry?- Now Razzle too was talking about marriage?

-It doesn't make you part of your wife's clan, but her family will want to protect her interests even after she has left her clan. And it is not in her interest to have her husband's status denigrated. If that family should include an Afrar so much the better. Of course, you too, would be expected to take an interest in your wife's loved ones, but with Elhessar at the other end they couldn't own you even with Arthez out of the picture.-

-So that's why Elhessar is so interested in me marrying into their clan.- Jesse realised. -Another elector clan will hardly be willing to give one of its daughters to a half-blood from the colonies, though.-

-Funnily enough.- Razzle said. -It's Elhessar I would have expected to be the least willing. And keep in mind what alternatives they have. There aren't a lot of unmarried Commanders about and more men than women are killed in war. For a girl form a non-elector clan you are certainly an excellent prospect even if she should be an Afrarsz own daughter. With the elector clans ... well, you're certainly of interest, but perhaps an Afrarsz family is aiming a bit high. Go for a side-line, a girl without any special accomplishments, someone that Jean Claude won't consider ... or one of his exes if you can convince her that you have real feelings for her.-

-Would you have let Kiervie marry me then?- Jesse challenged.

Razzle gave him an odd look.

-Haven't we already discussed this before?-

-Who's Kiervie?- Kieran demanded appearing beside them out of nowhere. -And what did His Nastiness say?-

Jesse wondered just how he had found them and why neither he nor Razzle had remembered to find him after their audience, but at least here he was ready to be filled in on all the developments in Razzle's life he had missed. It was sure to be an interesting evening.


	31. Chapter 30: Gods and Friends

Disclaimer 1: This is fanfic. That means I do not own any of it. I just borrow it to play with for a little while and let people see the pathetic results if they really want to.

Disclaimer 2: I'm not making any money from it. It's just for fun.

Disclaimer 3: What isn't borrowed is all made up. None of this is real or most likely at all realistic. Please don't trust any of the information in here. Most likely you know more about whatever I'm writing about than I do.

Disclaimer 4: Attitudes, views and opinions expressed by the characters or in the story are not necessarily those of the author. Even when writing Science Fiction or Fantasy I do not tend to attempt to create perfect/better worlds in which everybody gets a happy end ... or whatever is best for them. Please accept that some characters will have a bad ending or be unhappy.

Disclaimer 5: I intend no insult to anyone. If I offend anyone I'm very sorry. Please understand that it was an accident as I tend to be very clumsy in these things.

Chapter 30: Gods and Friends

Working with Brunhilda was a lot more difficult than working with Razzle, Lutaz, Jean Claude or Gattler. She didn't trust Jesse and insisted on understanding his reasons for every change he made to the plans she'd worked out with Orat.

To be fair, Razzle and Lutaz had insisted on understanding as well, but when they hadn't understood it anyway, they'd had little to no trouble understanding Jesse's explanation.

Unfortunately many of his thoughts were too complicated for Brunhilda, however, and it took Jesse a while to figure out when best not to mention something at all.

-It's to secure us against attacks from behind.- Was all he dared say in reply to her latest question therefore.

-But behind are our own lines.- She told him. -Do you expect Razzle or Gaspar to attack us?-

-What?- Jesse gasped before he could even think that one over. -Never!-

-Then why secure our back?- Brunhilda said proving that she hadn't really entertained the idea either.

-Because while the situation looks stable now it might still change.- Jesse simplified. -The rebels broke through our space line once before. Back then they went for the War-world, but they might want to surprise us by doing something different the next time, so maybe they will overrun Point and Orat again and then attack us from behind. It would happen very quickly so we might not have time to react before they are upon us.-

-They never overran Orat before.- Brunhilda pointed out. -He wasn't there then.-

-Semantics.- Jesse snapped at her and almost had to laugh at her blank look. -They still might do it this time. ... No disrespect to Orat, of course.- He added. -Setbacks happen to all of us sometimes and there isn't much anyone can do if suddenly faced with five heavy battle-cruisers at once. All it would take is a single cruiser breaking through before Orat or Point can reinforce the point under attack and we'd have a serious threat in our back.-

-Orat would close it again.- Brunhilda declared confidently. -And Istar would hunt that cruiser down and destroy it while it's cut off from its own lines.-

-Istar couldn't reach it before it attacks us if we are the target.- Jesse reminded her. -He needs time to get there from Rukkat and he won't even start before he's sure that it isn't Rukkat they mean to attack.-

-Istar is a great Commander- Brunhilda declared. -As is Orat.-

What the?

-I never said they weren't.- He snapped. -What the hell is this about? Are you in love with either of them? Istar's married. And you don't want to make Athe mad at you no matter how good you are. She's a Cat-Of-War, too.-

Brunhilda snorted.

-She need never know if I do whisk the old Devil off to a broom cupboard one of these days.- She said. -Didn't last time I did it anyway. But it'd mean nothing, didn't then either. Just a bit of quick fun ... and it wasn't all that funny when we got down to it.-

-Oh?- Jesse prompted with a smirk. -Wasn't he any good?-

Brunhilda seemed to ponder that for a moment.

-I suppose it's a matter of taste.- She said then. -Istar's strong and goes fast for quite a while. A lot of women like that, and I expect Athe's one of those. Can't say I don't like a bit of fast hard action in the cupboard either, but ... I likes myself a bit of the slow fancy on the side and Istar don't do that. Orat does, but Orat's got no stamina. When you want both ... Well, Gaspar's the best I've had, but he's got em lining up and I don't like to cue up forever.-

-I've been told Gaspar will fuck anything.- Jesse agreed slightly amused. -And you wonder what one might catch that way.-

Brunhilda shrugged.

-That's what Moku's for, ain't it? You ever have a round with Gaspar?-

Jesse only just suppressed a yelp. He was pretty sure Brunhilda must have caught the disgust on his face, though, so he hastened to explain: -I don't do men. Only women for me.-

-You want to give it a go with me one of these days then?- Brunhilda suggested. -You're a bit small and skinny for my taste, but Gaspar tells me Fleshlings got some really neat tricks.-

Jesse looked her up and down. It might be interesting and he wouldn't be cheating on anybody at the moment.

-I don't know. You aren't exactly my type either, but I suppose if we do get bored on the mission ...-

-Just a bit of fun.- Brunhilda confirmed. -No expectations of as much as a second round unless we both want to. You ask just about everybody. I'm no clingy lover and I don't need no relationship, just a bit of fun in the cupboard.-

-And I'm not your type.- Jesse agreed. -I get it. You're just sampling. ... Who's your type then, though? If you want big and strong one would think you'd take Mohawksz offer, but you don't.-

-Mohawk's much like Istar without the spice.- Brunhilda explained. -Fast, strong and boring.-

-But you like his looks?- Jesse prompted.

-Mhm ... maybe a little. Or maybe Razzle when he was younger.- She mused. -Still a bit on the skinny side, but I bet he don't break as easy as Orat and they say he does the slow stuff well.-

-They say?-

-Never had him.- Brunhilda admitted. -Not a lot of people that have. I don't know what that woman of his has, but she sure must be good at it.-

-He doesn't want to be the Afrar of a bastard, you know.- Jesse reassured her. -I think he rather blames his own Afrar for that.-

-Don't want a bastard either.- Brunhilda said rolling her eyes. -I make sure it don't happen. No worries there.-

-How about Jean Claude?- Jesse gave in to a sudden impulse of curiosity. -Ever had him?-

-Once.- Brunhilda admitted readily. -Quite the let-down, though. He sucks at the slow stuff and won't put any effort into the fast either. It was dead boring. Seriously, I'd rather do Mohawk or Orat again. No fervour at all.-

-You think that's what's behind his girlfriend troubles?- Jesse suggested. -That he just doesn't satisfy ... in the cupboard?-

-I heard he doesn't satisfy at all.- Brunhilda confided. -So you probably don't want to risk your friendship on it. ... But then, you said you don't do men anyway, so you really don't need to. You ever tried a man?-

-No!-

-And you ain't curious at all?-

-No!-

-Thought's actually disgusting?-

-Yes.- Jesse admitted. -I don't want to imagine it, thank you.-

-I got a great-aunt like that.- Brunhilda told him. -She's totally grossed out by the thought of taking a woman into the cupboard and always has been even when she was just a girl and had never been in the cupboard with anyone. Afrar always said she was weird for it, but ... I've met men who don't like to do it with women, so you just ... stick to your women and don't worry about it. It's probably just a matter of taste, too.-

-I don't.- Jesse told her somewhat surprised that she thought he might. -It's considered quite normal among Fleshlings. That men want only women and women only men, I mean. Women wanting women and men wanting men is considered a bit ... well, they know there are such people and it's tolerated, but ... sex is for having kids, you know, so you need the other gender involved for it to work.-

-Weird.- Brunhilda declared. -I say the cupboard is for having fun. If I want kids I need to marry first and ... maybe I'm not the marrying type. I haven't found a man I've wanted to marry yet in any case and I'm getting a bit old for it now.-

-So, no chance you'll give in to Mohawksz suit for the chance to have little ones then?- Jesse asked her only half teasingly. -Most Outriders I've talked to so far seem to consider it the greatest goal of their lives to have children and ... well, you're both Commanders so you'd probably breed some fine officers.-

-Maybe.- Brunhilda said sounding surprisingly doubtful. -But not together. Mohawk would need to breed with someone really smart to make good kids and I ... I have my career, you know. It's not easy for a woman to have kids and an army career. It gets in the way of training and working.-

-I guess so.- Jesse agreed. -It is the only likely explanation for the scarcity of female Commanders I can think of at least.-

-We're usually less talented in that direction as well.- Brunhilda explained. -I'm an exception.-

-Fiddlesticks. I've met a lot of fine young women soldiers and the girls in the clans I've visited seemed no less talented than the boys.- Jesse told her. -Some have different interest, though, I'll grant you that. There seem to be more girls than boys that want to be scientists and ... well, I've met one that wanted to become an accountant and have a lot of babies, but I think that was more about her clan's needs than her talents or interests.-

-I never was any good at science.- Brunhilda admitted. -It rather disappointed my Afrar. He was dead-set on seeing me as head doctor when I was born, but I just kept beating up the boys an' in the end he was quite proud when I beat them all in my career as well.-

-Was he a doctor?- Jesse asked slightly surprised. Brunhilda was of an elector clan after all.

-Oh no. He was Subcommander ... and a mighty fine Subcommander, but he never made Commander somehow.-

-Not everybody can. Subcommander's a pretty fine achievement by itself.- Jesse assured her.

-It wouldn't have done for you, though.- Brunhilda guessed. -It didn't do for me.-

Jesse shrugged. That wasn't the point he was interested in now.

-Why did he want you to become a doctor, though?- He asked instead. -I mean, with all the kids I know of that their parents want or wanted them to go to the Science Academy, there's always either a family tradition or a clear inclination of the child. You clearly were a warrior talented child from a clan with a strong warrior tradition, so where'd he even get the idea?-

-The clan needed three more doctors back then. My big brother volunteered, but Afrar forbade him. He was just a year away from starting the Academy and had already been prepared, you see. And he was a strong boy. The head doctor was quite disappointed and showed Afaf all the things a doctor can achieve and then ... Well, he said it was really too late for my brother, but they'd train me for it right from the start. It's no disgrace, you know. Even His Nastiness wanted to become a doctor once.-

-I know.- Jesse assured her. -I've got two siblings that I wish could have gone to the Science Academy, but my Afrar was dead set against it.-

-Those cute little twins?- Brunhilda suggested much to Jesse's surprise. -I've seen them once. I got a niece in the dorm next to theirs.-

-Cairo and Catze? Oh no, never them. They're happy little warriors. Cato and Caibe are the ones I'm thinking of.-

This time it was Brunhilda who shrugged disinterestedly.

-I've never even heard of them.- She explained. -That is, I know you've got lots of siblings, of course, but I ain't never seen the others and I can't keep track of everybody's little kids. That's I've heard of Cozz. He's the second, after you, ain't he?-

Huh?

-Second to graduate, yes. First born, though. I went to the Fleshling Academy, remember? They graduate much earlier, so I overtook Cozz.-

-Right. I keep forgetting you're still a child.-

-Actually, I'm not.- Jesse remembered with a touch of pride. -As of today I am an adult by both species' traditions. I just missed out on the birthday ceremony because Jean Claude was going to host it on Rukkat and I ran off back to the war on short notice leaving no time to adapt the plans.-

Brunhilda wrinkled her nose.

-You shouldn't have done that. Planning those ceremonies is a lot of hard work.-

-I know. I planned Jean Claudesz thirtieth.- Jesse confirmed. -But ... Freeing Razzle was more important than a mere ceremony. I'll survive without it and so will Jean Claude.-

He'd have to make it up to his companion somehow, though.

-He can always do my thirtieth.- He decided.

-That's a long time away.- Brunhilda said. -But there's no changing things once the spear's through the heart, I guess, and weren't you going to training now?-

Indeed he was late for the dorm's usual training hour and with only three of them on the planet that would probably annoy Razzle and Gaspar more than such things usually did.

So Jesse hurried to the gym, changed hastily and ... rushed into a completely deserted gym. Not even the lights were on.

Jesse turned them on and searched the gym anyway. No sign of either of his dorm-mates nor the Subcommanders Jesse had expected Razzle to have invited to join them to make up their numbers.

At first he thought they must be late as well and waited, but time kept running on and nobody came.

So he went back up to check Razzle's office.

It was locked. ... As was his own. Where the hell were Kieste, Azpet and Ramszet?

The door guard on duty, a particularly dull-witted newly unpacked cross-eyed woman, had no clue where they'd gone.

-They just went out and locked the door. I thought they must have had orders. Or maybe they went to lunch.-

-It's much too early for lunch.- Jesse informed her.

And if they'd had orders, they hadn't come from him, which meant they must have come from Nemesis. So Jesse went to the strategy room, but found that Nemesis wasn't currently there.

Well, Nemesis was occasionally to be found in his office instead.

The door guards there let him pass without a remark, but when the door slid open all Jesse found was Nemo playing a computer game on Nemesis' top security work terminal.

-Are you supposed to be doing that?- Jesse asked him since he showed no sign of embarrassment.

-Nobody said I couldn't.- Nemo returned pausing the game. -Nemesis is out and I've got nothing better to do. Except there's a letter I'm supposed to give you. It's on the desk, next to the teacup.-

Jesse looked. -I don't see any disks there.-

-Disks? Who said anything about disks? It's a paper letter, like they had way back when before they invented spears or something.-

-More likely before they invented computers.- Jesse opined and started picking up papers.

He had no idea what an Outrider letter even looked like, but at the third paper he picked up Nemo said -Yep, that's it. I knew it was somewhere around there.-

-Thanks.- Jesse said and unfolded the paper.

It was covered in unfamiliar symbols. Jesse stared at them. ... No wait, that was a Raz. The letter was upside-down.

He turned it over and recognised several more god-symbol letters, but nothing else on there was at all familiar this way around either.

-Just what alphabet are these anyway?- He asked Nemo.

-How am I supposed to know? I was asked to give you the letter if you should show up while Nemesis was out. I was not told what was in it or to read it. And stop distracting me. My Krazt just flew into a wall for the third time.-

-Who's the letter from then?- Jesse asked deciding not to comment on the relevancy or lack thereof of injuries to virtual lizard-bats.

-Not Nemesis in any case. He just agreed to pass it on.- Nemo replied not taking his eyes off the screen for a moment.

Jesse sighed and decided to ask somebody a little more likely to be interested. Razzle would be a good choice, but Razzle was currently missing. Was something exciting happening somewhere on the planet and he and Brunhilda were the only ones that had missed the news?

Kieran might know something ... If not Razzle's whereabouts then maybe what those strange symbols were. He was a historian, after all. Historians must be able to read historical documents, though, perhaps, they only knew what translators to contact. Identifying the alphabet would be a start in any case. Considering that it used the god symbols that the modern Outrider alphabet also included it had to be of Outrider origin as well, right?

Only Jesse had never heard of any other Outrider alphabets existing. Or any outdated symbols ... except ... What exactly was the glyph Nemesis had had cut into his hand if not a symbol from another alphabet? It had to be something more akin to Chinese using symbols that stood for entire words rather than individual sounds like the Latin alphabet. Most likely it had been abandoned once Outriders had started using Computers and found it more practical to get by with fewer symbols.

And then there were the god-names. Razzle had said that before the council of Thanket there had been a lot more of those. The survivors were used as syllables now, a sort of middle ground between Latin and Chinese ... and kind of like Japanese if one had enough of them to actually form all the words one needed.

Hang on! There had been a lot more and the surviving ones were in that text?

-Razzle!- Jesse exclaimed startling a few door guards further down the corridor.

The old hedgehog was the one that had told him those old symbols had once existed and certainly creative enough to think of using them to encode a letter. And known for including scientist type tasks in birthday ceremonies to spice things up a little. It seemed that Jesse hadn't escaped the ceremony after all.

Well, he supposed he could just put the letter away and get back to work ignoring the whole matter. Razzle couldn't give him a birthday ceremony, if he didn't show up for it.

Then again, this was quite interesting, and it would be rather mean to spoil it all when Razzle had gone to the trouble of arranging it at such short notice and even involving Nemesis.

Jesse glanced at Avada wondering whether he ought to lock the kitten away to prevent a similar mishap to the one at Jean Claude's ceremony, but Avada seemed perfectly calm and content and there probably was very little risk of him being attacked before he had solved whatever task was in the letter. For now all he needed to do was find somebody who could tell him what the old gods' names had been.

Thus he continued his search for Kieran.

Unfortunately the historian wasn't in their dorm where Razzle had included him despite Gaspar's weak protests that he didn't fit into a Commanders' dorm.

He wasn't having an early lunch, nor in med-bay and Moku had never even heard of the old gods and merely shook his head over the symbols.

-Damn the old bastard.- The head doctor told Jesse. -I'd have wanted to be included in this, if only they'd told me it was to be here.-

-He isn't too fond of you at the moment.- Jesse informed him. -So we try to keep his mind off you and this must have been arranged on very short notice. It'll probably be just Razzle and my staff with two or three tasks in a spare meeting room.-

-That's pretty clever, though.- Moku admitted nodding at the letter. -I've never seen that one before. And it's not about the tasks, you know. You are still my favourite little half-Fleshling.-

-Not so little anymore.- Jesse reminded him.

Despite it being forbidden he went to Sanzar's lab next. It was, of course, entirely possible that Razzle had invited Kieran along to the ceremony to increase the number of guests, but it wasn't quite proper since Jesse hardly even knew Kieran. Surely Kieran couldn't care about his ceremony and ought not to be there. Thus, Jesse concluded, the chances were equally high that Razzle being unavailable Kieran had gone to visit the only other old friend he had at the base.

Sanzar welcomed him with an angry snarl.

-Just what the fuck are you doing here? This isn't a playground for nit-witted soldiers.- He demanded.

-Looking for Kieran. Have you seen him, perhaps?-

-Not since breakfast. He knows better than to bother me here.-

-Do you have any idea where he might be?-

-Hundreds.- Sanzar informed him. -I don't think he said anything about his plans, though. I'd try med-bay or the gym if I were you.-

-I already did and he's not there. Thanks anyway, though.- Jesse turned to leave. -You wouldn't happen to be able to read the symbols of the old gods? The ones that were abolished by the council of Thanket, I mean.-

-Read them?-

-Well, tell me the name that goes with it, if I show you the symbol.- Jesse said holding the letter under Sanzar's nose.

The head scientist drew back a little, went cross-eyed for a moment, then snatched the letter out of Jesse's hand and studied it intently.

-There's a book on the council that includes the full protocol of decisions. That could be used as a dictionary. I don't think our library has a copy, though. I only remember it from the Academy library.-

-Has the Academy library been moved to Rukkat, then?-

Sanzar blinked at him.

-Not that library, fool.- He snapped after a moment. -That never had anything of the sort. The old library of the science wing. That one was dismantled ages ago when they abolished most of the courses and expanded the Warrior Academy. I think they destroyed all the books ... the ones Razzle didn't carry off and stuff in his storage compartment in any case.-

Well, Razzle must have learned or looked up the symbols somewhere to be able to write that letter, so Jesse went back to the dorm to look for books.

He did find one beside Point's bed, but it was merely a novel and as far as Jesse could tell not a particularly good one. The absence of any reading material beside Razzle's bed was rather suspicious, though. Of course, Razzle might have taken his current book along since he must have realised that Jesse would take some time to decipher his letter and he would need some way to pass that time, but then, it was rather rare that Razzle had only one book lying about, so Jesse made a closer inspection and did indeed discover one under Razzle's pillow.

This one turned out to be a volume of poetry in language so archaic that Jesse couldn't make heads or tails of it. While there were unfamiliar words aplenty in it, though, the symbols were all those of the regular Outrider alphabet which Jesse recognised just fine. He could pronounce these words, he just didn't know what they meant.

Thus he dropped the book back onto Razzle's bed and went to check the kitchen and living room. The topmost kitchen cupboard turned out to hold a very dusty cookbook which might be worth a closer look someday. It wouldn't hurt to know how to prepare some simple Outrider dishes in case he ever ended up in a situation in which he was forced to prepare his own meals for more than a day or two.

The living room turned out to be the most productive, yielding one book on formations in battle situations, one on basic strategy and one on ... pneumatic anti-gravity engines? Jesse spent a minute or two pondering whether he'd found another of Razzle's current reads or this constituted Kieran's pleasure reading. The first two certainly could have nothing to do with either of those two dorm-mates since they were almost as far above Kieran's understanding of military matters as they were beneath Razzle's. Perhaps they had been left behind by one of the colonist Commanders in their hasty departure, though the strategy book might also belong to Gaspar who, while he didn't have a particular talent for it might wish to improve his knowledge in that area.

The formations book was a little more mysterious since Jesse assumed that all of his dorm-mates ... always excepting Kieran, of course ... ought to have plenty of experience using formations in battle. Had someone bought this as a gift for a young relative that had just received a promotion, perhaps? But then, why leave it lying around in the dorm rather than hand it to the lucky young officer?

Well, it was nothing to do with Jesse in any case. He had a very different book to find.

The bathroom unsurprisingly held no books and if it had, Jesse was quite sure they would not have been left there by Razzle who liked his reading material too much to expose it to the danger of falling into a basin of water or being splashed by an incautiously handled shower nozzle.

This left Jesse with two options: Break into Razzle's locked office or break into Razzle's storage compartment.

The storage compartment was closer, of course, but also a lot more private. Jesse had never done more than catch a quick glimpse into it when Razzle had opened it for some purpose, while he'd been in the office often enough and had even occasionally been left alone in there. If it hadn't been locked he'd have felt perfectly entitled to walk in and have a look at whatever Razzle had left lying about in plain view.

After a moment's hesitation, Jesse returned to Razzle's bed, snatched up the small magnet that lay next to the old holo-projector there and headed for Razzle's office.

It took half an hour and a lot of cursing to duplicate Kieran's trick, but finally the door did slide open.

Since he wasn't quite sure what he had done and how, though, Jesse decided to leave the magnet where it was and the door wide open while he searched the office.

There were a lot of books here and they ranged from astrography over technology and philosophy to strategical analyses and speculations on historical wars and individual battles that made Jesse's head hurt merely sampling a paragraph or two. Yes, this clearly was Razzle's personal library. Nobody else would be likely to be expected to want to touch these books.

Another half an hour went by inspecting the historical books and searching for any texts on religion before Jesse sank into the chair behind Razzle's desk in defeat. How was he ever going to find this book without even knowing the title?

The holographic images of Kieste, Kiervie and what Jesse assumed must be Kiez and their mother as well as several other Larethe held no answers of course, but Jesse couldn't help looking at them anyway. Yes, the women sure were attractive, especially Kiervie.

Interestingly, while there was only one picture of every other person there were two of Kiervie, one the one Razzle had once shown him and the other of her as a school-girl in a rather old-fashioned cloak balancing on a wall and waving wooden practise swords about. It reminded Jesse of Cain and, oddly enough, of Rissa, but then they did have the same colouring and the picture looked like Kiervie might be pretending to be a pirate.

Her features looked surprisingly hard for a girl so young in that picture, harder even than in the other one in which she'd grown into a young woman.

Jesse reached out to pick up the two pictures and place them side by side for a closer comparison, but stopped short when he noticed that the second Kiervie-picture was standing on top of an open book.

He glanced at the page in surprise ... and there was the second unfamiliar symbol in his letter right at the top of the page. Why had he never thought to check this room for any books left lying about obviously to draw his attention?

Finding all the symbols and replacing them in the letter took quite some time and then Jesse had to realise that he still couldn't understand the result. It was purely phonetic and didn't match the spelling he was used to.

Reading it out loud to Avada helped, but since he had to read many lines several times and write it down still very slow going.

And then the result turned out to be a riddle. A riddle that rhymed and, knowing Razzle, quite possibly had a metre, but Jesse knew too little of Outrider poetry to recognise and appreciate the fact.

Instead he focussed on the meaning of the words and where they could lead him.

Several obstacles, inquiries, dead ends and one crawl through one of the larger air shafts later that turned out to be the simulator room on their own dorm's floor. At first Jesse felt a little let down by that lack of originality, but then he realised that there could have been few alternatives.

Razzle had had to use a room Jesse would not think to check without having solved the riddle at any point during the search, that was inside the overcrowded base and not required by anybody else, but still offered enough room for all the attendants to spend most of the day there reasonably comfortably.

And there were a lot more attendants than Jesse would ever have expected.

Sure Razzle had been a given and Ramszet and Azpet were no surprise. Due to their disappearance along with the other three Jesse also wasn't surprised to find Kieste and Gaspar had been invited to the party, but just how they had managed to smuggle Jatt, Jean-Caude and Point into the base without Jesse noticing was quite a mystery.

Kieran wasn't present proving that Razzle had not felt desperate to find attendants, but Jensz and Irstz were as well as Iktrz, Nisse and Scatt were there and the wristband that Razzle handed him clearly contained several more strands of hair from people that hadn't managed to make it to the War-world for the ceremony.

The ritual words Razzle spoke as he gave it to Jesse, too, were quite a surprise. Jesse had at some point thought that they might not be the same for a twentieth as for a thirtieth birthday, but he had expected at least the language to sound roughly the same. While the formula he'd learned for Jean-Claude's thirtieth birthday had been so antiquated that Jesse hadn't been able to recognise the meaning of the words, though, these words didn't even resemble the hissing, harsh sound of the Outrider language that Jesse was familiar with at all.

He wasn't the only one to look surprised at the soft, almost melodious sound, however. Most of the attendants seemed quite confused and Kieste even gasped when he heard them.

Razzle merely turned to his son for a moment and spread his hands in a shrug, then returned all his attention to Jesse.

-What does that actually mean?- Jesse asked him since he hadn't been told any formula to reply with anyway.

Razzle shrugged again. -Actually quite a bit more than I have any right to say to you, but I don't get a chance to use this formula often. Technically it is only for those of noble Lareth blood, but if your own clan has anything similar, none of us knew the words and considering how many of your friends are absent without even the possibility to send their hair I thought I might as well do something to make the occasion more memorable.-

-Because your letter wasn't memorable enough?- Jesse laughed.

-I've written better.- Razzle claimed. -But I didn't dare bring out any too fancy vocabulary or historical or cultural references I can usually trust every Outrider to have learned in school since it was quite possible you'd never heard them and I know too little of Fleshling history to go there. If I'd had more time and Jean-Claude on hand to supply his Fleshling expertise I would have liked to try that route, but alas, you didn't give us time to prepare.-

-I didn't mean to get wounded.- Jesse pointed out. -And I returned here to help you. You'd hardly have gotten to plan anything at all if I'd remained on Rukkat.-

-And you'd have had a much lesser ceremony for it.- Irstz told him. -We tried to plan something to suit you, but none of us have the knack for this kind of thing. Jenny, Thert and the elders could have attended it, though. They were quite disappointed when they learned that all they'd get to do after all was donate their hair.-

-I'm quite honoured that they did.- Jesse assured him. -And sorry for their disappointment, but ... if I had been asked to choose, I'd have picked Razzle over them in any case. It's not that ... I just ... Well, Jean-Claude and Razzle are the two guests that are the most important to me and I did at least get them both.-

-That won't be easy to explain to Jenny.- Jatt commented. -But then she was quite convinced that we should have taken her along. Thert made her stay, though. Something about a space trip interfering with his exploration of her headaches or something.-

-Not that I'd have taken her anyway.- Irstz declared. -The War-world was built as a place for soldiers, not children. We lived here for so long that we do not quite realise how dangerous it actually is for them, but it is time for that to change.-

-Does Istar agree with that assessment?- Jesse asked slightly curious.

-I doubt he would normally, but he was quite happy with any excuse to stop Jenny attending your ceremony.- Irstz said. -So for once Thertsz medical expertise had his full support as well.-

-And I'll tell Jenny that Gaspar and Point couldn't have come to Rukkat either.- Jean-Claude promised Jesse. -She'll have to accept that three dorm-mates mean more to you than one little girl no matter how much she likes aliens.-

-Remind me to send her some little gift from the next alien world I visit. A collar or brush for Sais, maybe?- Jesse decided.

-Nothing too alien if you don't want to upset Afrar.- Jatt warned.

-He'll be upset anyway, no matter what you do.- Irstz countered. -You might want to make it a weapon, though. Maybe a nice new throwing knife. Then I can at least claim that you were trying to use her interest in alien things to trick her into training more.-

-Send her a container full of the cutest stuffed toys you can find.- Razzle suggested. -Possibly in such a way that we can all be there when Istar watches her open it.-

-You do have a death wish, don't you?- Irstz asked him.

Razzle shrugged. -I've had a long and successful life and we all have to die sometime.-

-Perhaps so.- Jesse allowed. -But today is still too early for that. There is so much we still have to do and some of it I still don't know how to do without you.-

The wristband felt oddly comforting and right around his wrist and despite the absence of all the other colonists it was wider and prettier than Razzle's first one. Jesse ran his finger over it to feel the pattern.

-It's not quite what you deserve.- Gaspar commented surprising the others by the change of topic. -But it is the best we could do. I hope you don't mind the missing hair too much.-

Was Gaspar more skilled at reading gestures than faces or words? An interesting concept and all things considered not too unlikely. Jesse's mimic was probably as alien as the gestures he'd learned from the Fleshlings and since it was more subtle he hadn't yet figured out what he needed to train himself into doing differently about it and the Outrider language as it was commonly used today had very few nuances.

Was it even a coincidence that Razzle who was best at reading people was also the one with the largest vocabulary?

-It's perfect, Gaspar.- He assured his dorm-mate. -I never expected anything this elaborate. And I don't think ... Well, I suppose, if I'm completely honest, before the war I would have expected Urak to be here. Maybe Kerost out of duty, but I don't care for him that much.- He saw Ramszet's face fall and continued hastily. -Not as I do for Azpet and Ramszet. Nor do I think he honestly cared for me either. I guess some more of my clan members would have come ... Grammis might have.-

-You can be quite sure all the dorm would have been here if they could have.- Gaspar told him. -Though you couldn't have gotten any hair off Gattler.-

The name made both Jesse and Razzle flinch, but Gaspar didn't seem to notice.

-The Professor didn't bother to send his hair.- Jesse pointed out. -Not that I thought he would.-

-He doesn't really know you.- Iktrz explained. -And was never open to make friends with you. He only came out of retirement to fight and expects to return as soon as the war is over. His dorm remains on Rukkat, I expect.-

-He did make an effort, actually.- Razzle contradicted the psychologist. -But Jesse is not one to make friends quickly and he doesn't understand how to approach him. I do believe he feels unwanted.-

Jesse sighed.

-I'll try to be more polite.- He promised. -But he is rather ... intrusive? Is that the word?-

-Probably.- Razzle agreed. -He tried to do your job there, Iktrz, and while he has apparently been taught some theory his practical understanding is ... limited.-

-I'd say amateurs shouldn't.- Iktrz replied. -But then I guess he doesn't see himself as an amateur and you certainly must.-

-Me, Iktrz?- Razzle replied all innocence. -All I ever did was my dorm elder's duties. To the best of my abilities as every good dorm elder should. I do hope I haven't fallen too short of the mark?-

-Never to my knowledge ... as far as your dorm is concerned that is.- Iktrz said.

-Do I hear a but?- Razzle prompted.

-I'm not sure what exactly you did to Moku.- Iktrz admitted. -But you mishandled something there. He seems to downright fear you and he hates what he fears.-

-That explains ... something.- Jesse said. -But it still seems out of character. He always appeared to be so nice and caring, a true healer.-

-He is very protective of you.- Razzle explained. -He doesn't get to treat children often and a half-Fleshling is quite the medical curiosity at that. Keep him fond of you and you'll be perfectly safe from his less pleasant side.-

-You could have made him fond of you.- Iktrz said. -You do know how even if you rarely use that knowledge.-

Razzle shrugged.

-I do not care to.- He stated calmly. -I care very strongly about my dorm mates, but Moku is nothing to me and where I do not care I prefer to make people fear me rather than love me. All Mokusz recent attack means is that he doesn't yet fear me enough. Don't worry about me, though. I'll teach him soon enough.-

-He is the head doctor, though.- Jesse pointed out. -His friendship must be useful.-

-Do you make friends for their usefulness?- Gaspar asked sounding almost ... hurt?

-I ... don't make friends at all.- Jesse replied. -Not on purpose that is. Unlike Razzle I do not know how. I suppose that's why Lutaz found me so difficult.-

-Believe it or not.- Razzle said. -While I do know how, I don't find it easy either. Perhaps you should teach us?-

-Me?- Gaspar gasped. -To make friends for usefulness? I wouldn't want to if I did know how.-

-It is quite ... useful in politics.- Irstz re-entered the conversation. -But it is a fine art that would, quite obviously, be lost on all three of you.-

-If each for different reasons.- Iktrz agreed. -But I do wish I knew how else to soothe Moku.-

-Has he asked you to do so?- Razzle asked.

-Why no, but I see how upset he is and that he is at times upsetting the nurses.-

-Then leave him be.- Razzle advised. -He has to learn to cope with not being loved by everybody ... and with the memory of his own failures. We all do.-

-And he's quite lucky in that in his position he can't fail nearly as spectacularly as I did.- Jesse realised.

-Oh, can't he?- Razzle said. -He is the one that gives final authorisation for standard treatment recommendations and standard dosages of medicines. How many do you think he would kill if he accidentally signed off a poisonous dosage or an ineffective treatment when there is a highly effective alternative?-

-Has he ever?- Jesse asked rather startled by the idea.

-No.- Razzle replied. -He's lost individual patients sometimes, and most likely more than one of them could have been saved, but according to Gattler all doctors do.-

Ikrz nodded.

-Mistakes happen to everybody.- He explained. -In war and medicine that tends to be fatal. We psychologists are a bit luckier in that the mistakes we make can usually be treated by a colleague. Sometimes they are fatal as well, though, and some patients are left scarred for life. It's never easy and we all must learn to cope. ... Perhaps I ought to remind Moku of that.-

-Perhaps you should.- Razzle confirmed and bent down to rub Avada's ears.

The kitten purred happily and leaned harder against his leg. For some reason he adored Razzle even more than Jean-Claude who, until Jesse's return to the War-world, had been his favourite person besides his master. 


	32. Epilogue

Disclaimer 1: This is fanfic. That means I do not own any of it. I just borrow it to play with for a little while and let people see the pathetic results if they really want to.

Disclaimer 2: I'm not making any money from it. It's just for fun.

Disclaimer 3: What isn't borrowed is all made up. None of this is real or most likely at all realistic. Please don't trust any of the information in here. Most likely you know more about whatever I'm writing about than I do.

Disclaimer 4: Attitudes, views and opinions expressed by the characters or in the story are not necessarily those of the author. Even when writing Science Fiction or Fantasy I do not tend to attempt to create perfect/better worlds in which everybody gets a happy end ... or whatever is best for them. Please accept that some characters will have a bad ending or be unhappy.

Disclaimer 5: I intend no insult to anyone. If I offend anyone I'm very sorry. Please understand that it was an accident as I tend to be very clumsy in these things.

A/N: Yes, this is indeed the end of Fire or Ice. The story, both of Jesse and of the Star Sheriffs now crash-landed on Varen, will continue in the sequel currently under the working title War or Peace. Titles of yet unwritten fics are subject to change with me, though, as evidenced by the fact that for many years I thought of this fic as 'Nemo'. (Yes, there is much more to say about this now minor character in this fic. Perhaps some of it will make it into War or Peace ... or perhaps he will keep his secrets from Jesse forever.)

Epilogue

The plans were finally finished and Jesse and Brunhilda were preparing to present them to Nemesis the next day ... when suddenly the lights blinked out, then came on green, then blue, red and green again.

Base alert, high alert for all guards, Commanders to the strategy room ...

-Well, that is interesting.- Brunhilda commented.

-How so?- Jesse asked curious to know what she read into it.

-Why, we are not under attack or he'd have ordered battle stations.- She explained and gave the door of the lift a kick because it didn't open right away.

-He can still do so.- Jesse reminded her. -And to be honest I'd feel quite alarmed if he had. The rebels shouldn't have anything stationed on this side of the space line and Point or Orat would report the attack before anything broke through.-

-But if it is an attack on the space line why alert the guards?- Brunhilda asked.

-Yes.- Jesse agreed. -That's the thing. Alerting the guards only makes sense if there's at least some possibility of the base having been breached. I suppose we must have a spy. Not really surprising considering we are fighting our own people. Most likely some commoners that remained behind still are loyal to their old officers.-

-Too many suspects.- Brunhilda frowned.

-Indeed.- Jesse agreed. -And I know nothing of counter espionage. I expect this one will have to be left in Jean Claudesz hands.-

-Don't you have basic training? I thought every officer does.-

-I don't have officers' training.- Jesse growled. -I was trained Fleshling style remember? Espionage and counter espionage are separate specialities I never got into there.-

-Mmm ... Don't tell Nemesis now.- Brunhilda advised. -Just fake it and leave your part of it to Kieste.-

She wasn't really all that stupid, Jesse decided, just absolutely not a strategist.

There was no more chance to talk freely, though, as they'd reached the strategy room. Razzle and Gaspar were already there, but Jean Claude of all people appeared to be late.

And the base monitors were mostly black, which wasn't actually unusual, but Jesse would have expected them all to be running at high speed if they were hunting for a spy in the base.

-What's going on?- He asked.

-The rebels have sent a small civilian ship.- Nemesis told him. -Unarmed under lights of truce.-

-They want to negotiate?- Jesse was quite surprised. -After holding still this long?-

-And the only thing they could possibly want to negotiate is a surrender.- Razzle stated. -We are in a much stronger position than at the beginning of the war, so they can hardly expect us to be ready to surrender, but we are far from able to crush them. So, what do you think prompted that move?-

-Nothing we did that's for sure.- Jesse told him. -Unless we did something I wasn't aware of?-

-We are doing nothing beyond securing the planets we already hold and ensuring the necessary supplies.- Nemesis informed him. -We don't have the manpower and supplies to do anything big enough to them yet.-

-So something has happened at their end.- Jesse analysed. -Something big. But considering how many worlds they have, what could be big enough? They should have multiple sources for every vital supply good so a disaster on a single world should not threaten them sufficiently to have to surrender.-

-A Th'Hone attack would do it.- Razzle stated. -And while it is a bit early yet we should be expecting one soon.-

-They'd overrun the Molk first.- Gaspar objected. -We should have heard of that.-

-Maybe they are doing that.- Jesse suggested. -And the news reached Ettar first. He wants to reunite our armies to fight the common threat.-

-Possible.- Razzle said. -Though it's unlikely that his decision and negotiator were faster than the refugees. A threat from a different direction seems more likely. We thought the Hjee would need fifty more years to recover from our last war, but could they have rebuilt their military faster than we expected?-

-Not based on our last spy reports.- Nemesis stated. -But we have been ignoring them since the taking of Rukkat. Would that give them the chance to speed up the recovery behind our backs?-

-If they have broken the trade embargo.- Razzle stated just as Jean Claude slipped in as unobtrusively as he could manage. -I wouldn't have thought that hey had the resources to act that quickly, though. Not unless they have an ally we never expected.-

-What's going on?- Jean Claude whispered into Jesse's ear. -Who has an ally.-

-Someone called the Hjee or something like that.- Jesse hissed back. -Whoever they are.-

-The Hjee? What do they have to do with anything?- Jean Claude asked a bit too loudly. -The Hjee are total losers and would never get involved with the rebels. They fear us way too much.-

-That remains to be seen.- Nemesis snapped. -Any other suspects?-

-All of the usual ones, of course.- Razzle told him. -And the rather ironic possibility of a split within the rebel ranks. Maybe one side of a new conflict wants to re-join us because it doesn't like a two front war.-

-Now, that could get very interesting on the espionage front.- Brunhilda remarked.

-Quite.- Razzle told her rather coldly. -And then there is always the possibility of a new player on the field.-

-We know our dimension.- Moku challenged despite it not usually being his habit to get involved in military or political discussions.

-And that one can jump dimensions.- Razzle snapped at him. -Any intelligent species from any dimension could invade us at any time. It hasn't happened before, but that doesn't mean it never will.-

-We've done it to others.- Jesse realised. -Why shouldn't they do it to us?-

-Leaving us with the problem that they could be anyone from anywhere.- Razzle agreed. -We'll have to hear what the negotiator has to say about it and possibly make some concessions for the information if they are clever enough to see that need.-

-Very well then. Don't let on that we don't already know all about it. We have been expecting them to come begging for peace.- Nemesis ordered.

Jesse had some doubts how well that would work. Outriders, in his opinion weren't exactly the best of actors and there wasn't much time to discuss and practise the roles.

On the other hand the negotiator, too, would have to be an Outrider and they weren't usually the most perceptive people either. Perhaps they wouldn't even think to look for any behaviour that contradicted anything Nemesis said. There certainly was no reason for Brunhilda or Gaspar to say anything at all, if Nemesis led the talks himself.

There were a few minutes of nervous silence before the hangar reported the arrival of the negotiator's ship. Guards had been sent to escort him from the hangar to the strategy room, but there was no progress report until the elderly tech at the monitors announced: -They're here.-

Only a moment later the doors swooshed open to reveal ...

-Gattler!- Jesse wasn't actually aware of what he was doing until he had flung his arms around his former dorm-mate and was hugging him tightly.

-Umph ... Jesse? What?- At least he was returning the hug making it just a touch less embarrassing. And then, before Jesse could explain anything, Razzle followed his example putting his arms around them both.

-Well, you see.- Razzle said managing to sound perfectly dignified despite the situation. -Our reports said that you were dead.-

-Dead? No, whatever gave you that idea? I'm perfectly fine.-

-Your ship was destroyed in your ill advised attack on this world.- Nemesis explained. -And your forces retreated.-

-Oh, that.- Gattler said. -That wasn't me, that was ...- And then he hesitated, looked down at Jesse and squeezed him a little more tightly. -I'm afraid that was Laxus. Ettar gave him my ship to punish me for my failure to hold Arthame and ... well, it had been a long time since Laxus commanded a battle cruiser in a really serious battle. I wasn't there, of course. Perhaps it was merely bad luck.-

-He wasn't obviously clumsy enough to alert us that he wasn't you.- Gaspar admitted.

-I wasn't here to see it and neither were Jesse and Jean Claude.- Razzle added. -But I expect Gaspar to know your style reasonably well after all your simulator practises.-

-I had more on my hands than just that one cruiser.- Gaspar reminded him. -And nobody had told me to watch for changes of command. It didn't do anything to draw my attention until it blew up. That's all.-

Gattler shook his head a little sadly and gently pushed Jesse and Razzle away.

-It isn't important right now in any case.- He declared. -We have to deal with a very different problem: The Fleshlings have attacked Varen.- 


End file.
